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Stepping into camp, a tall doctor takes stock of where his orders place him. Amid the dirt and army green tents displaying the number of his MASH unit, the man manages to stumble his way to the Colonel's office where a short be-speckled kid asks who he is.

"Hawkeye Pierce," The man replies before correcting himself. "My papers will say Benjamin F. Pierce."

The younger man looks at the roster of names and leads him to a tent with four bunks.

"Captain Pierce? This is Trapper," The clerk explains.

"Thanks Radar," Trapper states hoping this man is nothing like his other bunk mate. "Welcome to The Swamp."

Hawkeye smiles at the name, thinking the name suits his messy, new abode. Trapper lets Radar leave and begins to show his bunk mate around the camp. Walking around and getting the Grand Tour, as Trapper calls it, Hawkeye jerks his head when he sees a certain blonde nurse walk by. Laughing, Trapper replies, "That's Major Margaret Houlihan. She's head nurse. Careful though, she's taken by old Ferret Face over there."

"Yeah, what's he like?" Hawkeye asks trying to keep any confusion from his voice. Shrugging, Trapper replies, "Dull? Lifeless? Our other bunk mate. His real name's Frank. He's a major, too. I got a feeling the majors like to stick together."

Nodding, Hawkeye watches Margaret laugh at something Frank says. Smirking, Hawkeye motions Trapper to follow him before he catches the Majors' attention. Stunned, Margaret stands with her mouth open as Frank asks, "Who are you?"

Ignoring his bunk mate, Hawkeye extends his hand to the nurse. She takes it, and is soon locked in a seering kiss. Pulling back, Margaret whispers, "Hi."

"How dare you!" Frank exclaims thoroughly upset by the new doctor's unprofessionalism. Trapper nearly falls to the ground laughing. He and Hawkeye are going to have fun. Letting go of his wife, Hawkeye glances quickly at Frank before winking at Margaret and walking away.

"It's okay, Frank," Margaret replies cooly as she stalks off with the other Major. Out of earshot from the two surgeons, Frank asks, "That's your husband?"

The blonde nods as her friend adds, "He's very easy on the eyes."

Margaret merely laughs at the comment before excusing herself to her tent. Called into surgery by the PA system, Margaret leaves her half written letters and heads to the scrub room. While ordering her nurses, the head nurse makes sure to keep an eye on her husband during his first surgery. Once the O.R. is cleaned up, Margaret makes her way toward Post Op, and hears what sounds like vomiting. Curious, the nurse rounds the corner of the middle wing of the building to find her husband wiping his mouth. Putting her hand on his back, he stiffens a little before relaxing into his wife's touch knowing they will be few and far between.

"Are you okay?" She asks. Turning toward her, Hawkeye snaps, "I just got out of the worst surgery session known to man and now I can't seem to keep my lunch down. What do you think?"

Nodding slightly, Margaret runs her hand down his arm before telling him to get some rest. He nods mutely before walking away from the building wondering how he will cope with the rest of the war if he feels sick on day one.

The pair pass notes like teenagers their first few days of camp together in order to finalize their charade. Already cementing her role as a demanding head nurse, Margaret makes sure to ally herself with Frank who through his own secrets has become as Army as possible. Hawkeye, reluctantly asking his wife's blessing, becomes the camp bachelor. Creating their own code, the couple tries be as cautious as possible in their notes, but Margaret wants to be extra careful no one figures out about who her new family is. Writing her father in law, she asks him to sign his letters D.P. or simply send her letters through Hawkeye.

As the weeks continue, Margaret and Hawkeye catch sight of each other every so often and trade their feelings via barbs and innuendo. Having read the other's letters, both know they are in charge of their own ruse. Unfamiliar with her husband's womanizing, the ease in which he performs his charade is rather disconcerting. However, the pair continues to pretend causing Margaret to become as by the book as she can. If no one can get close to her, no one will know her secret. Any time the couple can, they spend together until their marriage turns into a bizarre Romeo and Juliet situation with death included. Almost as if they are regressing in their marriage instead of progressing. They get the slightest reprieve when the 4077 roots for his or her own team during the Army Navy game that winter causing Hawkeye to comment to Margaret during surgery, "I wish I'd seen you at the 1948 one."

"You saw me after," She teases before being called to another patient. Only having a morning surgery, the camp is ecstatic to have the day off to relax. Preparing to spend the day with Margaret, Hawkeye is upset when Colonel Blake calls them into his office. Any lingering happiness is bombarded by an undetinated bomb that lands in camp. With Hawkeye and Trapper being the less than willing participants in detonating the bomb, the men listen closely to Colonel Blake's directions and take no notice to Frank and Margaret's company. After the scare is over, Hawkeye goes to find his wife who immediately hugs him once he enters her tent.

"Don't do that again'," Margaret orders when she steps away to fully assess any injuries he may have.

"I'll try not to," Hawkeye dryly answers as Margaret examines his hands. Holding onto her hands, the surgeon reassures her that he is fine before asking her how her charade with Frank is going adding, "He seems to be your shadow lately."

Sighing, Margaret states, "I'm his only friend here."

"Well, if he didn't tout Army regulations by the minute, he may be able to make friends."

Shaking her head, the nurse answers, "It's not that easy, Hawk."

"Sure it is," Hawkeye answers trying to figure out where his wife is going with this whole spiel. Pursing her lips, Margaret desperately tries to keep Frank's secret knowing how devastated the man will be if it gets out. Shaking her head, the nurse answers, "Just go easy on him?"

Nodding, Hawkeye kisses Margaret and answers, "I can't make any promises."

Seeing Frank on his way out, Hawkeye greets him as Frank replies, "What business is it of yours?"

Entering Margaret's tent, Frank asks what Hawkeye was doing there. Shrugging, Margaret replies, "Telling me who won the Army Navy Game."

Nodding Frank looks around the tent to make sure no one is spying when he whispers, "Did you tell him about me?"

Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "No. I just told him to be nice to you. How is Louis?"

Relaxing, Frank tells her everything his boyfriend writes to him. With a smile, the nurse states, "He really misses you."

A small laugh escapes the soldier as he replies, "I'm just glad Louise doesn't know. She's been convinced that I'm cheating on her with you, which is nice."

Annoyed by his callousness, Margaret narrows her eyes and tells him to leave. Sometimes she forgets how much lying can hurt, but at least she has not been doing it all her life.

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