A.N: As some of you might've noticed, I missed the 15th day update last month. Sorry about that; I was busy preparing for an anime convention that started on 16th and, to put it simply, I just forgot.

Chapter 64

"Excellent" captain Frank says, but neither Sasha nor Nikolo can join him in his joy, having just agreed to never seeing each other again. These were their last moments together, and while they both wanted to cherish the moment, it was only filled with sorrow "Unfortunately, the next ship isn't scheduled to go to Paradis until eleven weeks from now, so you'll have to remain in your cell until then, Ms. Blouse. Not that it should be that hard; after all, what is less than three months after half a year?"

"Half a year?" Sasha repeats, shocked at how long she'd been in Marley. It had felt like a long time, but she had thought, hoped, that her boredom and despair made it feel longer than it actually was. And a bit under three months more? She… if she was counting this right, she'd be turning thirty during that time, before she got home. She didn't know why that popped up in her mind; it's not like birthdays were a big deal for her, minus the food.

In his cell, Nikolo has his mind caught up on the eleven weeks Sasha would still have to remain in Marley. That'd be a lot of time for her to spend all alone, but perhaps, if he could get a permission to stay with her until her departure, time would go faster for her. And of course, he himself would also like to spend that time with her. To his family, he had told them he went camping with some friends before he came here just in case, an excuse they had accepted, thought probably not bought, so he shouldn't be missed yet, but after three months? They definitely wouldn't buy an explanation about an extended camping trip, and Dr. Becker might have a job for him during such a long time. But, for Sasha's sake, he'd try, consequences be damned!

"Right" Sasha's voice cuts through his line of thinking, and he sees an uncertain smile, but a smile nonetheless, on her face "A bit under three months is nothing compared to half a year."

Especially now that she knew she would get out.

"Good. I'll sent someone to get Nikolo in the morning, so make sure you'll say whatever goodbyes you need to say during the next few hours. After all, this is the last time you two will see each other."

Sasha's smile falls like she'd forgotten that for a moment. As the captain turns to leave, Nikolo realizes it's now or never.

"Could I stay here with her until it's time for her to go back?"

The captain turns his head to look over his shoulder.

"No" he says flatly "You didn't seriously expect any other kind of answer, did you? Besides, how would you explain your absence to your family? And you do realize that you become useless to my plans if you completely lose everyone's trust, don't you?"

"…Then could I stay for a few more days? I told everyone I went camping, so two or three more days won't raise any questions."

After a second, the captain turns around fully, and for a moment, Nikolo dares to hope that he got him. And so does Sasha, comforted by the idea, but as the captain walks back, she realizes that agreement is not what he has in mind.

"No" he says again, directly in front of Nikolo "If I keep you here too long, people will get suspicious. The number of men I can trust with my plans is limited, and if it looks like I, or someone else here, is up to something, people might get suspicious and I might not be able to send Ms. Blouse home when the time comes. Prioritizing is needed here; you understand that, don't you?"

Nikolo break his gaze away, defeated.

"…I do. I'm sorry" he actually wasn't, but it was best to pretend otherwise.

When captain Frank turns away, his eyes meet Sasha's. She doesn't look away, afraid that it would be considered rude, and for a moment, they stare at each other, until eventually, the captain closes his eyes with a sigh. Reaching a hand to his pocket, the man pulls out a key. Before Sasha can question it, he's already unlocking Nikolo's door, speaking all the while.

"I swear, if either of you try anything now, neither of you will live to see another day."

He opens Nikolo's cell door, but the young man is too confused to do anything. But when the captain switches to another key and unlocks Sasha's cell too, he's there faster than the door can be opened enough for him to slip in.

"You have until 7 a.m. Don't waste this last chance to be with each other" he says, and understanding dawns on both Nikolo and Sasha at once. He was letting them stay in the same cell for these last few hours.

Captain Frank opens the door enough for Nikolo to get in, and once he's there, the door gets shut even before the blond manages to wrap his arms around his love, not that he was wasting any time. Ignoring the slight sting that he gets from the closing door hitting him, Nikolo pulls Sasha in to his embrace, holding her tightly. Sasha wraps her arms around his torso, ignoring the click of the lock as she buries her face in Nikolo's chest, holding him as tightly as he's holding on to her.

A few stray tears of relief and happiness escape Sasha's eyes as they stand there, holding each other, enjoying each other's presence, feeling the other's heartbeat that assures them that they aren't seeing things. She squeezes her eyes shut, not wanting Nikolo to see that she has cried when they'll pull away. Part of her thinks that maybe it's unnecessary; they could stay like this until it was time for him to go, and by then her tears would've surely dried anyway, even if there was more of them.

"But I don't wanna waste the chance to see his face again clearly" she thinks, blinking more rapidly. Seeing him from so close would be different than from a distance away between the bars; she didn't want to miss the chance. So, a little reluctantly, she pulls away from his chest, but just enough to look up at him, to see his face. Nikolo had kept his eyes closed as well, but opened them as soon as he felt Sasha pull away slightly and looked at her. She was so beautiful, like she'd always been, like she'd been that day at the harbor when they'd parted ways, when he'd kissed her for the very first time.

For a moment, the memory of the kiss makes him feel guilty. He'd done it without permission, and then he'd just taken off, not even giving her a chance to give him a piece of her mind if she so desired. Of course, now he knew she hadn't minded the kiss, but should he apologize all the same? Or should he just pretend-

His line of thought is cut off as Sasha's lips crash on to his, and his eyes widen in shock before closing. He pulls her closer, answering the kiss. It's pretty clumsy, he realizes, not that he has much experience in these things… in fact, none after ending up on the island, save for the kiss at the harbor. He hoped Sasha didn't either, hoped that she wouldn't notice he didn't really know what he was doing.

Nikolo's the first to pull away, and Sasha opens her eyes, confused until seeing how red his face is, realizing he's short of breath. But she could've still gone on, so-

"Ha! I win!" she cheers. Nikolo opens his eyes at that, staring at her in confusion before bursting out in laughter, still holding her.

"What? What's so funny!?" Sasha demands to know, her face heating up in embarrassment. When she gets no answer, she starts pushing at his chest, and Nikolo releases her, now trying to get his laughter under control as he holds his stomach, his amusement having only grown.

"So-sorry" he manages to get out "That was just so- so you!"

Sasha's eyes widen briefly before she pouts, and Nikolo can't stop wondering how she can go from so beautiful to so adorable so fast. Or maybe the difference between the two wasn't really that big in the end.

"Oh yeah? Well, uh, you're the one who's in love with someone like me, so what does that say about you?" Sasha counters.

"Fair enough" Nikolo says, finally managing to calm down, partly due to the darker thoughts that surface in his mind "So… we have what, a few hours? And then… will you be alright on your own for almost three months? I mean- "

"Of course, I will" Sasha cuts him off "I've been fine so far, haven't I? And he said it's already been half a year; the time I have left here isn't even half of that. It's a piece of cake!"

Would the smile on her have fooled others? Probably not her squad, but someone not as close to her? It certainly didn't fool Nikolo; it was way too forced. He could point it out, but would doing so do any good, or would it just make their last few hours together gloomier than they already were?

"Okay" forcing on a smile himself, Nikolo decides to not take that chance "Of course you'll be alright; you're a war veteran after all."

"Yeah!"

Silence. Nikolo wonders what he should say; should he keep the conversation light, or should he tell Sasha the things he'd been wanting to tell these years they'd been apart? Was there a point in the later when they wouldn't be seeing each other again after this? But-

Sasha's laughter interrupts his thoughts, and he blinks. It doesn't sound fake or forced, but there was something off about it, it sounded wrong. Her gaze is fixed on the floor, and he can't see her eyes.

"Sasha?"

Her laughter turns almost hysteric and Nikolo, now even more confused and slightly worried, puts a hand on her shoulder. That's when he makes out the sobs from among her laughter "Sasha- "

She crashes in to his chest again, burying her face in his shirt as she sobs her eyes out. And Nikolo lets her, once again holding her, one hand at her back, the other cradling the back of her head.

"It's okay… everything will be alright; it's less than three months. You can hang on until then."

"That's… that's not it…" Sasha hiccups, squeezing the fabric of Nikolo's shirt tighter "After this night, I'll… we'll never see each other again…"

It's not like Nikolo had forgotten that, but he'd decided to try not to think about it. It was impossible now though, and he had a hard time keeping his own tears at bay. But he had to, he had to be strong for Sasha.

"Well, it could be worse… we're both alive, aren't we? Knowing that you're alright, I think that just might be enough for me" mostly because it had to be, but that, Nikolo didn't say "When I heard that you'd been captured and brought here, I was terrified. Sure, you were closer to me, but was it worth it when it also meant that you weren't safe? I'd rather have you safe and away from me than by my side and in danger."

Sasha squeezes the fabric of Nikolo's shirt tighter, not sure what to say to that.

"This isn't an ideal situation, but it could be much worse" he sighs, blinking rapidly to keep the tears away. Thankfully, Sasha wasn't looking "I'm sorry I got you in to this mess."

At that, she does look up, a frown on her face.

"You got me in this mess? You came here because I got myself in trouble! I got you into my mess!"

"A mess that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me! If, if you'd never met me, you would've been spared from so much pain and fear!"

Was he crying? …No, not quite yet, but it was close. Nikolo wished Sasha would bury her face in his chest again; he wasn't sure how long he could hold the tears in anymore.

"Well so would've you if you'd never met me! Do you regret getting to know me, then?"

"What?" Nikolo's mortified at the thought. Looking in to Sasha's desperate eyes, he realizes she's asking it seriously, not knowing the answer. How could she not, he thinks as he tightens the arm wrapped around her and gives his answer "No, I could never. If I never knew you, if I'd never ended up on the island, I would've probably had a safer life. A happy one, even, but it wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't have found love, I might've never found out what it really was, and I wouldn't be who I am now. I'd still be that same judgmental, discriminating asshole I was when you first met me. And I don't miss that person! You made me who I am now, you made me better! Despite everything that has happened, despite the loneliness I'm sure to face, meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to me!"

Now he's crying, and he didn't even notice until the drops were falling on to Sasha's wide-eyed face. Great, he thinks as he hastily wipes his eyes.

"…I haven't regretted it, either. The time apart, it was lonely, very much so at times, and it was scary to end up here, but… but… it doesn't even make sense! I know things would've been easier without all this, yet even if I'd get it all undone by forgetting you, I wouldn't want to do that!"

Now Sasha's crying as well.

"I… I think I finally understand why Mikasa always acted so, so irrationally risky when Eren was in danger. Love… it makes people stupid."

"Maybe" Nikolo shrugs "Or maybe it simply shows us what's most important to us" he wipes her tears away with his thumb "To me, that's you. It's not like I don't care for my family too, but you come first. Now and forever, regardless if we ever see each other after this or not."

"…This world is cruel, yet so beautiful." Sasha mutters. Nikolo raises an eyebrow, feeling like he had heard that somewhere before, but he couldn't place it, nor did he know why Sasha would say it now.

Noticing his confusion, Sasha blushes. Quickly, she stammers an explanation.

"It's just something Mikasa used to say, especially after Eren died. I've been thinking about it a lot lately; I always thought I understood what it meant, but now I think I didn't understand the true meaning of it until recently! I mean, things that have happened lately have been… well, maybe I shouldn't call them cruel, since I haven't been harmed or anything, but they certainly haven't been nice, and when I think of why it happened, with me keeping quiet about my love… doesn't that count as kind of beautiful? And us never being able to see each other again is certainly cruel, but- "

"But these fleeting moments together are beautiful regardless" Nikolo says, eyes widening as he catches on "Huh, guess Mikasa of all people has a romantic side to her, too. I always took her as the practical kind, though."

"She is, most of the time. But love did its damage on her, too."

"Hm… but I think that, in this particular case, the world is more cute than beautiful" Nikolo says, pinching Sasha's cheek "You're cute when you ramble like that."

Sasha's eyes widen and her face reddens. When Nikolo laughs, she swats his hand away.

"Jerk" she mutters as she pushes away from him, but can't help but chuckle along with him just a few seconds later. After the laughter dies down, she asks a question she'd been wondering for a while now "When did you fall in love with me?"

The question makes Nikolo blush in turn, and he asks the same question back.

"I asked you first!" Sasha points out, puffing her slightly red cheeks "I have the right to know, don't I?"

"I'm not sure if it works like that… but honestly, I'm not sure." Nikolo says, taking a few steps to reach Sasha's bed and sitting down on it "I'd known I had feelings for you for quite a while, but it was only when the possibility of losing you hit me in the face when you got shot that I realized how devastated I'd be if I lost you. So, that was when I realized you were really important to me; it was probably love already at that point… but I'm not sure if that's when it happened, or if I was in love with you even earlier without realizing it."

Sasha stares at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open. It had been clear he'd been aware of his feelings for longer than her, but-

"That long!?" she shouts, unable to control herself. Nikolo looks up at her at that, and she continues "I get that you'd hesitate to tell me at first, but you had six years to let me know! Why didn't you say anything!?"

Sasha's upset face makes Nikolo feel guilty, but should he be feeling so? It's not like he'd kept quiet only for his own sake; he'd been a war prisoner, and getting too deeply involved with him could've given Sasha trouble. Plus, with him having poisoned all those people and ending up in a cell again, what good would've telling Sasha have done? He tells her as much, but it does little to calm her down as Sasha points out that he still had years to do it after he got out.

Nikolo doesn't know what to say to that.

"…I guess I was just… afraid. Of what would've happened between us if you didn't answer my feelings. Would've things have gotten awkward? Would've you started to avoid me? Would Jean and the others have done so too out of solidarity towards you?" Nikolo sighs "And I… I guess I also thought some might think I was just trying to get you to protect me. Grior seemed to have those kinds of thoughts already, but his opinion was never really that important. Most of all, I didn't want you to think that. That's why, that day at the harbor, when I realized that the next time we'd see each other, I'd be a free man, and could talk to you from equal grounds, I decided to tell you."

"Some free man you are, sitting in a cell again… then again, I am too, so guess we got the equal grounds -part down?"

Nikolo stares at her, but the first quirk of Sasha's lips makes him smile as well and soon, they're both laughing.

"Right… that didn't go as planned, either… guess I can't get a single plan right" he says. Then, something occurs to him "You haven't told me when you fell in love with me."

Sasha had hoped he wouldn't ask that again.

"Um… I'm not sure" she says "I never really gave these kinds of things much thought before, so it took me a long time to realize what my feelings were. I was probably in love with you long before I realized it."

Nikolo smiles; that sounds a lot like the Sasha he knew. A veteran soldier who'd seen more than her fair share of the world's horrors and yet, in a way, she remained so innocent. The contrast never ceased to amaze him.

"When did you find out, then?"

Sasha gets to hear that she's stupid very often, and occasionally, she agrees. Now is one of those times regardless of if Nikolo will say it or not.

"Er… a few months after you left" she admits, looking down, afraid to see his reaction, but when he doesn't say anything for quite a while, she looks up. She's not sure what she's expecting to see, maybe the kind of deadpan expression that Jean so often gives her, or a single unimpressed raised eyebrow, Mikasa style, but instead, she just sees him smile. Softly, not mockingly, which she would've understood. Blinking in confusion, Sasha asks: "…You're not mad that I was so slow to get it?"

"No; it's just simply so you" Nikolo tells her honestly, and Sasha pouts, knowing that he was calling her stupid without actually saying it "And while you were slow, I was a coward for not saying anything for so long, so who am I to judge?"

"An idiot and a coward, huh? Some pair we are" Sasha laughs, plopping down on her bed next to Nikolo "…Don't tell Jean and Connie that I called myself an idiot; they'd never let me live it down."

"Your secret's safe with me… unless one of them eventually gets a permission to come to Marley. If that happens, then no promises."

Sasha shoves him for that, but she's grinning all the while.

"And here I thought that the man who loves me would be on my side!" saying that out loud brings a small blush to her cheeks, but she doesn't care, for she's sure Nikolo's face got redder.

He can feel it too, and he wonders if Sasha said what she did in order to embarrass him. He wouldn't put it past her, and he wasn't mature enough to not return the favor.

"Of course, I have ulterior motives; you look adorable when you're embarrassed" he says, and right on cue, she makes the exact face he was referring to. He smiles "Just like that."

"Jerk" she says, shoving him a bit harder this time, but without actually trying to push him down from his seat. They picker playfully like this for a while, and Sasha finds it nice; it reminds her of the old times when they weren't so close yet, when she'd sneak in to his kitchen for food and he'd get mad for it, nagging at her. They hadn't really bantered that much after they became closer, and she hadn't minded as she had Jean and Connie to banter with, but now it felt better than ever, having gone without playful jabs for so long.

Knowing this was their last night together, Sasha had a weight on her heart that couldn't be lifted, not even with Nikolo's smile she'd missed seeing from so close, and while she wasn't the brightest, she could still tell he felt the same. But they wouldn't let it ruin this; in fact, it was all the more reason to make this night as good as they could, a fond memory that would last them a lifetime.

After their bantering, they talk about the nine years they spent together, avoiding the unpleasant things with an unspoken agreement. Nikolo admitted to Sasha what he'd never told anyone before; about how she'd gotten his heart to beat faster already during the first time he'd cooked for them all. He'd wondered if she even remembered it, yet realized it was a stupid question when Sasha flawlessly listed all the foods he'd prepared that day.

Sasha tells how she'd bullied the head of the Reeves company in to selling the restaurant Nikolo worked in the very best ingredients they had a few times, much to the man's shock. He tells her that he'd noticed the higher quality, but had simply assumed that it was either Hanji or Armin's doing, having arranged it to get in better terms with them. He considers asking for details on what exactly had Sasha done, but decides against it; there were more interesting things to talk about… like the time Sasha had accidentally dropped Jean's birthday cake while trying to sneak a bite, and Nikolo had ushered her out to distract Jean while he and Connie hastily made a new one. Sasha wasn't that happy about being reminded, yet she did tell him how she and Armin had bought enough time to make a new cake when he asked.

At some point, Sasha had started leaning on Nikolo's shoulder, while the man himself leaned on the wall. Neither of them wouldn't have minded talking all night long, but tired as they were, they eventually fell asleep like that.

XXXXX

Footsteps echo in the hallway, waking Sasha up. She blinks and yawns, wondering for only two seconds how come she fell asleep sitting up before hearing Nikolo's steady breathing, which reminds her of why. She looks at his sleeping face, and for a moment, everything is right in the world, but the illusion is quickly shattered when she registers the sound of the nearing footsteps. As much as she'd like to let him sleep a little longer, she wants to say a proper goodbye even more, so Sasha hurriedly shakes Nikolo awake.

"Nikolo, wake up" she half whispers, shaking him from the shoulder "They're here!"

His eyes open, and he blinks twice before turning to Sasha, the smile on his face quickly fading once he sees the frown on her face, but he doesn't bother asking for a reason as he too hears the footsteps.

Once again, they look at each other, but this time they know for sure that it's the last time. Sasha's on the verge of crying, and so is Nikolo, but he can hide it slightly better.

"Sasha, I- "

He's cut off by Sasha's lips crashing on to his, but Nikolo's quick to recover from the surprise and pulls her closer, answering the kiss.

They break apart far too fast for either's liking, but they know time isn't on their side.

"I love you" Nikolo tells Sasha, gazing in to her eyes "Now and forever."

"I love you too" a tear slides down Sasha's cheek "Promise me you'll stay safe, and out of trouble, and- "

She chokes on her tears, and Nikolo's sure that if one can feel their heart breaking, he felt just that at the very moment.

"I will. Everything's going to be fine; we're both going to be alright" he assures despite feeling like crying as well. But he had to hold it in until he was out of Sasha's sight. He knows it won't be long as he hears the lock of the door clicking open.

"Come out of there before I change my mind about the whole thing" they hear captain Frank say from the other side, and as much as Nikolo's heart would want to fight against it, his common-sense wins and he lets go of Sasha after only a second's hesitation and stands up. She does as well, but when he walks to the door she doesn't follow, not until he's out and the door closed again. She looks out from the small window on the door, tears now falling freely down her cheeks as she stares at what little she can see of his retreating form from behind the guard tailing him.

"As usual, your poker face really needs some work" captain Frank says when Nikolo and the two guards escorting him are out of sight, and Sasha jumps. She hadn't realized he'd stayed behind "And you should be more aware of your surroundings as well."

Sasha took a moment to regain her composure before glaring in to the opposite direction of where Nikolo had gone, barely catching a glimpse of the captain who stood too close to the wall to be seen properly.

"Well excuse me for having gotten a little rusty" she huffs "Half a year without nothing to do can do that to a person, you know."

The man lets out a laugh and, sensing he was in a good mood, Sasha decides to ask something that she hadn't wanted to confirm while Nikolo was present.

"Am I really going home in a few months, or did you say that to get Nikolo out of your hair?"

The face captain Frank makes at that looks a little offended.

"You think it was a bluff? Ms. Blouse, you hurt my feelings" he sighs "Well, I suppose I had that one coming. And to answer your question: yes, if everything goes according to plan, you'll be going home with the next ship departing for the island."

"If everything goes according to plan?" Sasha questions.

"Something can always go wrong; while I'll only talk about this to a few who I trust to follow my orders and not tell anyone, there can still be a leak. They could talk about this among themselves, despite me having told them not to, and someone could overhear. Or someone could have overheard us last night, or they could hear when I tell someone who needs to know. Or something could go wrong when we sneak you in to the ship; if my actions get questioned sooner than I'm betting on, we'll both be in trouble. But I'm rather trusting of my abilities, and convinced that we can pull this off."

"All I can do is trust you, then?"

"Until you set a foot on the island again, yes" he says "Think of it this way: until then, you don't have to concern yourself with thinking. From what I've understood, that isn't one of your strengths either way."

Sasha huffs.

"That's mean"

"Truth often is" with that, the captain walks away, and soon Sasha finds herself using a forgotten spoon to scratch a small line on the floor under the table. She didn't know the exact number, but it'd be around 74 days and she'd be out, if everything went according to plan.

She couldn't wait.

XXXXX

As Nikolo follows the soldier he doesn't know, he can't help but wonder if the captain could truly be trusted. Was he really letting Sasha go? He'd have no way of knowing if the man went back on his word… he had to do something about that.

"The captain still needs to talk to you, so you can't leave just yet. We'll escort you to his office" Nikolo is told, and all he does is nod, his mind focused on other things as he walks along the dimly lit corridor. He can't just outright ask the man if he'd really keep his word; if that wasn't the man's intention, he wouldn't answer honestly. He needed eyes on the inside, but he'd seen no familiar faces here, and even if he had, he couldn't know if he could trust them.

How about eyes inside the ship that would head to Paradis? That could work; of course, if Sasha wasn't on the ship after all, he wouldn't get the information until three months later, but it was the best he could come up with. Now, who could he ask?

Well, he had almost three months to figure that out. And he would.