Hi everyone, I think theres been some drop off in reading, is this boring or no? If so, I will end this at chapt 7 and perhaps go back to my longer fan fics and start concentrating on them again. What do you all think? Here's chapter 5.


"Here, make yourself pretty," Trevor winked at Olivia as he set the small, picnic blanket down in to the lush grass between some nice sized trees.

"You don't want help?," she asked despite not knowing how she was going to be or any assistance.

"Nope, I want you to help by sitting down, putting your hat on and looking really fucking hot,"

Olivia laughed and took lowered herself to the ground. She watched Trevor take out a chain saw from his trailer. "Okay, hopefully this won't take too long," he told her almost in apology.

"Take as long as you like, I am going to enjoy the sun…. And the view," she replied with a wink, shedding the flannel shirt and tossing it aside. She watched him pull the string a few times to rev up the chain saw before it started the loud, brum-brum-brum that was immediately unrelenting.

So much for enjoying the sun, she thought. She pulled out her phone and glanced at a few texts from Amanda. Enjoying the farm life, Sarg? I hope you're doing your fair share of riding ;)

Olivia hid a smile and hit reply. Farm life is wonderful, peaceful, serene, Noah is having a ball and … an adequate amount of riding has been done, perhaps a little more might be on the cards if some of us might be so lucky. How's work?

She would have never ordinarily have been so forward with her workmates, but she was throwing caution to the wind and damned if she was going to keep it all to herself, she felt wonderful and confident and secure with Trevor, she wanted everyone to know that she was his and he was hers.

She was tired of being the person who felt envious of those around her who had their special someone. It was her turn, and she wanted everyone to know Olivia benson had found the right one.

She glanced up at her man who had a pair of sunglasses on and was slowly and carefully cutting down large, thick branches and letting them fall to the ground with a large thwack.

He looked gorgeous, concentrating hard, his arms covered by his flannel which she interiorly hoped he might remove soon so that she could admire his biceps. She let her eyes travel down over his waist, admiring the thickness of his own sinful ass covered by the thick denim fibres. She swallowed hard, feeling her throat go dry as she imagined him unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging out of it… She imagined him working up a sweat and laying beside her for a rest where she would slide her hand beneath the thick material that was covering his lower stomach, exploring beneath the fabric until she met with her destinati-"Stop staring at me," Trevor remarked with a laugh as he caught her eyes all over him, her mouth slightly open. He wasn't going to lie, the lustful stare that he was unable to miss made him feel very good.

He couldn't be distracted though, he promised to get the … wood… he swore under his breath, hoping that he wouldn't get an erection despite his jeans suddenly feeling a little more snug.

"Can't help myself…" she let her voice trailed off. Trevor just chuckled, trying to empty his brain and concentrate on his task for the moment.

She watched him work on each tree, careful not to take too much off, he didn't want to chop anything down or kill anything, there were enough stumps around for him to break down rather than cutting any existing trees.

Finally, relief hit her when the chainsaw was turned off. He came and put it back down inside the trailer, wiping his upper brow with his arm. He pulled his glasses off and surveyed Olivia laying forward on her chest, propped up by her elbows, watching him. "Look at you," he grinned, "you comfortable there?"

"Uhuh, sun's a bit hot, but I'm enjoying it," she replied. "And again, I'm enjoying the view."

As if reading her mind, he pulled off the flannel shirt, revealing a white tank. Olivia grinned, "wow, I thought that was a t-shirt, this view is just getting better…"

He lowered himself to his knees beside her and lifted her hat, leaning right over on all fours so that he was close to her level. "I just really need to kiss you," he grinned at her as she pushed herself up a little to meet his mouth.

She felt his lips soft against hers. His mouth lingered until it was just resting. "Mmmmm," he hummed, "that feels good, it is so hot already, right?" He slowly pulled away.

"Yeah, its going to be sweltering by the time we get back, maybe we should put the air on when we get in."

"Let's go for a swim when we get back, we could go to the river but it gets really cold."

"Okay if the pool is a little warmer, let's do that," Olivia agreed. "I can't wait."

Trevor got back to his feet and looked down at her phone, "wanna put some music on?," he asked, "or, do you wanna just listen to nature in between me hacking at these poor dead stumps?"

"Let's do the nature thing, music by the pool," she smiled.

He took the axe from the back of his trailer and gave her a wink. "Okay, whatever you want, baby. Have a think about what you want for lunch."

"Okay," she smiled as she got another text from Amanda.

"LOL! Liv! Good for you! I am so happy for you, this is honestly the best news I could have heard! What have you guys been up to? Save the details," She replied.

Olivia grinned to herself, "Sorry, was that too much? I'm just very happy. Noah is having such a great time he's at the movies with Trevor's nephew and nieces and their parents. They are such a beautiful family. There's been such a huge shift between Trev and I too, the feelings have been there but both of us have been shit at sharing them. I am so fucking in love with this man. Currently I am watching him chop wood in jeans, a white tank and boots and his lumberjack beard is …. Ooft!

Olivia added a drool face emoji and closed out of her messages and concentrated back on her man.

He got her full attention as he leaned over a dead stump, holding down a huge thick branch he'd cut, steadying it with his boot. He picked up the axe beside the stump and brought down over his head over and over until it broke.

Olivia could see the beads of sweat forming on his brow as his biceps popped with each. It was doing things to her. She couldn't help but to brazenly stare with her mouth agape at just how gorgeous he looked.

She imagined him undressing her and making love to her under the heat of the sun right there in the middle of the woods. She blinked and made herself look away. Her thoughts went from bad to worse as she imagined feeling the tickle of his beard between her thig-

He turned to her, "Could you pass me some water, please baby?"

She cleared her throat and nodded shakily, bursting her late morning fantasies.

She leaned over to the backpack she had pulled out earlier for a sip of some water and took the bottle back out. She unscrewed the lid and passed him the bottle. Trevor reached down and took it, thanking her.

He took a couple of mouthfuls and handed it back. "Thanks, love."

He went back to making small work of the branches, hacking them down until they were kindling and logs. "Shit…" he muttered as he threw the last piece of wood in to the trailer, putting his axe down on top of it.

"What happened?" Olivia asked, sitting up.

"I got a splinter from the axe handle of all things…" he examined his raw, dusty hands and tried to pry the finest little sliver of wood from just beneath his skin. He concentrated hard but he couldn't quite get it.

"Come here… let me get try…"

"Its okay, I'll just get a pin and dig it out at home," he replied, still frowning and trying to free it.

"Trevor," Olivia said firmly, "come and sit beside me and let me look at it, I'm a Mom, I'm good at this shit," she told him.

He finally looked up and smiled at her. He gave in, coming to sit down beside her. His skin was hot to the touch and up close she could see the beads of sweat upon his brow and around the frame of his face. He stretched out his legs in front of him and reluctantly laid his palm out for her.

"Don't hurt me," he said softly, looking up to meet her face. She cocked her head to the side and laughed. "Seriously? Even Noah trusts me not to hurt him."

She took her hand in to his lap and saw the splinter on the base of his middle finger. She saw the very tip of it still on the outside of his skin. She felt him tense as she zoned in on it, firm with her longer nails, trying to grasp it.

She tried a second time, made extra hard by the fact that his palms were sweaty. "Got it…" she announced, slowly extracting it. "That wasn't so bad, was it?," she asked, glancing at him, "baby…" she winked.

He laughed, "No, it didn't hurt a bit, thanks…"

Olivia leaned in to kiss him, his lips were hot too, his whole body felt hot. "Wow, cowboy," she murmured, pulling away, "you feel red hot."

He chuckled, "You look red hot, so…"

They shared a laugh. "Okay let's go and take the wood back to the house and if you're hungry I can make you something or we can just go jump in the pool…"

"The pool sounds good, my skin is sizzling," she informed him. He got to his feet and reached out his hand to help her up. They put their things in the trailer and set off back to the house.

While Olivia got changed in to her bathing suit, Trevor emptied his trailer and brought their bag inside and re-filled the water bottle with cold water and grabbed two towels. Olivia returned from upstairs wearing a knee length kaftan which he couldn't help but to laugh at. She looked more beach-ready than farm-ready.

"What? Why are you laughing?," she asked, looking up at him and back down at what she was wearing.

"Nothing, I just…didn't think you were so uptight about showing off how hot your body was."

"Uptight?," she blinked at him. "Trevor, I am not walking from your house to the distance to the pool house in glorified underwear in the scorching sun. What am I supposed to do? Wear a bikini with my boots?"

"Fair point," he replied, "sorry, I didn't mean to laugh… but to answer your question, I'll just bike us over on the three-wheeler and you can wear flip-flops if you want, it's not like I'm doing burn-outs."

She turned her back and headed back upstairs. "Wait…" he called after her, afraid he'd hurt her feelings. He followed her down the hall to the room that he'd originally situated her in. "Liv! I'm sorry…"

"For what?" she asked as she lifted the kaftan over her head as he walked in to the room. "For laughing at me?" She turned to face him.

He was momentarily rendered speechless as his eyes fell over her hot orange and neon green bikini. He was expecting something a little less … colourful. The bikini had a low split between the full-breast cups with a geometric design, the orange and green panels, separated by black threading. "Oh, wow…"

"What? Is this okay by your standards?"

He laughed, peeling his eyes from the deep cleavage. "Uhm… yes, there is no problem with this…" he cleared his throat, "no problem at all…"

Olivia smiled a little cheekily, "will it please you if I put a pair of jean-cut offs on instead of a kaftan?"

He swallowed, trying to coat the dryness in his throat. He simply nodded, "Yeah… I think that would be … okay."

She wasn't mad at him, as soon as his eyes fell over her in the long kaftan she knew she was overdressed and had put a little too much thought in to what she was wearing. "I guess I'm just worried about your family coming back and thinking that I'm a little too much…" she admitted.

"What?" He shook his head, "No… honestly, its a bikini, you're going swimming, you're not walking around the ranch doing yard work in lingerie…" he paused and flicked his eyebrows, "but I mean, if you wanted to…."

She playfully slapped him.

"Seriously, I would tell you honestly if I was uncomfortable with my family coming home and seeing you in something that's inappropriate for the kids or for anyone else to see. You're fully covered, your boobs and your butt are covered up and your body is fucking amazing…" he glanced over her and smiled, reaching her eyes again, "I'm a very lucky man…"

"Thanks baby," she murmured.

She rifled through her suitcase until she finally came out with a pair of jean-shorts. He watched her pull them on and grab the white-shirt she had been wearing earlier. He took the shirt from her hands and tossed it over his shoulder like dish-towel. "You don't need this, come on…"

As they got back downstairs, Trevor paused, "mm do you want something to eat?," he asked.

"Mmmm maybe a snack?"

"Maybe this afternoon we could go in to town and get some food for dinner… or maybe I could take you and Noah out for dinner?," he suggested.

"That might be nice…" she smiled, "do you still have the sandwiches that you made in the backpack?," she wondered.

"Oh yeah! Are you happy with that?"

"Yep! I'm a no fuss girl, Trevor Langan," she smiled.

He towered over her in the entryway to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her. "Good-grief this bikini really is doing a lot of good things for me," he remarked with a little laugh, letting his eyes settle over her generous cleavage.

"Hey, hey!" She reached up and lifted his chin, "eyes up here, soldier…" she told him with a smirk.

He laughed in spite of himself, "I'm sorry, you just look very sexy."

"I'll let it slide," she winked, "only because you are making me feel very good about myself," she laughed.

"You should feel very good about yourself, you are incredibly beautiful, Olivia, you should never be second guessing that feeling. You don't need to be anything but confident with your body, your heart or your brains…"

She felt herself going to mush as a pink hue swept across her cheeks with bashfulness. "Thanks," she murmured.

"Let's take a beer or two each?," he added.

"Okay," Olivia agreed.

/

"Wow, this pool is so beautiful…" Olivia remarked, "is this Joey and Jens? I mean, will they be okay with us in here?"

"Its a shared pool, baby, its totally fine," he promised as he took the bag from his back and hung the towels over two deck chairs. Olivia surveyed the pool area, it was covered in tiny cobblestones and the water was as clear as day, she could see to the cobblestoned bottom. There was a large rockery at one end of the huge, kidney-shaped pool and a bridge that overpassed through the middle with sprinklers beneath it.

"What the fuck is this rich life pool?" Olivia laughed in shock, "I'm moving in, I need this pool in my daily life…" she added, taken by the beauty and peace of the area. At the more shallow end there was a level step up for resting.

He laughed, watching her walking around, inspecting it. "We had it totally remodelled, Joey is really, really in to all this luxury-living architecture, you'll see when you go in to the house, from the outside it looks like this beautiful old ranch-style home and inside its like walking in to an electronics store," he joked, "no not really… it's just so modern."

"Wow… he designed this?"

"Yeah, that's what he does for a job… he's an architect. He told you that, right?"

Olivia nodded, she moved around to the other end where the shallow-step area was that led in to the pool.

"The kids call that the beach area," he nodded to the step down.

She laughed. Off to the side, was another small circle pool that Olivia realised was a hot tub. It was a nice, shaded area and Olivia imagined having quiet nights with Trevor with a few glasses of wine.

"This is so beautiful…" she told him with a sigh, "how big is this pool, like, the length?"

Trevor shrugged. "15 meters or so if I had to guess? It's not quite as wide but I think it does the job, right?"

Olivia smiled, "Is it chlorine?"

"Nope! Salt water fresh, Chlorine was really bad for Jazmine's asthma, salt water is a little bit more upkeep, but I think we have someone that comes and tests the PH and all that stuff," he explained.

"Nice! I was going to say, the water is crystal clear, no cloudiness… what paradise this place is, Trev, honestly… when you kept referring to your ranch, I just pictured dirt and corn fields and … dirty animals going to market," she laughed, "I didn't really imagine this."

"I'm glad you love it so much, there's still a lot to be done. I think if we have a future together, we could definitely make this life away from the city work when we need it to."

She smiled. "Yeah, that would be so nice…"

That part did kind of worry her. She was nowhere close to retiring and she had no inclination to leave the city anytime soon. She knew he was motivated enough and had the luxury of working from home when he didn't have court. She knew for him, he wanted to get down to the ranch as often as he could, but her work hours were just not that easy to manage.

She circled back to the hard plastic, white deck chair and slid down her jean shorts and put them aside. "How warm do you think the water might be?," she asked him, trying to shake her head of the thoughts.

"Pretty warm," Trevor replied, sensing her quiet after his comment. He said nothing, deciding not to address it straight away. He pulled his hat off and sunglasses and tossed them on top of the towel and didn't bother checking, he dove straight in, instantly feeling the relief hit him as his body broke through the water barrier.

He plunged through the surface, his body gliding through the water until he reached the bottom. He blew out through his nose as he pushed himself up from the floor of the pool, reemerging to greet Olivia at the edge.

He slicked back his hair and opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Its not cold at all," he promised. "Its actually a little on the warmer side."

Olivia sat down on the edge and dangled her legs, the cobblestone was hot and was burning her skin. She winced. Trevor was right, the water was warm, not cold and not hot, but a perfect temperature.

She slipped in without any fanfare. Trevor took her hands and dragged her up to the deep end where she was unable to stand. He drew her near, silence laid between them except the sounds of the water lapping against them. "What's wrong?," he asked gently, pulling her body against him. He felt her legs wrapping around him. She reached up, circling his neck with both arms.

"Just a little reality that hit me a bit harder than expected…" her voice trailed.

With damp hands he reached up and smoothed her hair back. "Talk to me… tell me what's on your mind, I won't be upset or mad, I promise."

She avoided his eyes for a moment but deeply enjoyed the feel of his wet hands slicking down her hair, not realising quite how warm she had gotten. "I just feel like… you're going to want to all but move here soon and I can't… I can't because of work and I'm a shift worker so it's not like we'll always have weekends and then if I have days off during the week, I can't come because Noah has a routine and I have to be mindful… but I really love it here. It's still early days of course, but I'm not ready to retire — nowhere near it, truthfully."

"I would never expect or ask that of you, honey," he consoled her gently, "I think your calling is with SVU. I've seen you work and I've seen what you do, it's your life's gift, love, and I would never want you to do anything you weren't ready to."

"But where will I fit in to this life?," she asked, feeling her voice fall to a whisper, becoming a little emotional.

"You'll fit where you can. On the weekends that you can, you'll come and spend time here, it might be that if you are passionate about being here with me when you can be, you ask for three or four days off and work 6 or maybe every second working week you can work an extra day and gain an extra day off, I'm not sure baby, maybe you can discuss it with your Captain… I just know that I'm not ready to retire either. I am working in the city still and it's not like I'm six hours away here. It's just two hours and I like the drive, so… maybe some weekends when you're working you would trust me to bring Noah out on my own, or you could just come for the day… but I still have a very busy life in Manhattan too."

"Okay," she nodded. "But for the record, I think I just wanna be wherever you are and I am going to find it tough if I don't see you all the time after I go home from here."

He smiled, "I will be around as much or as little as you and Noah need me, promise."

"But… what if you're ready to move here permanently, I know you wanna be by your piglets and your other animals…"

He just smiled at her, "I'll bring maple to the city. I'll work on house training her, it's possible. Pigs are smarter than dogs, I'll be one of those kooky George Clooney types that walk their piglet instead of a dog in Manhattan, people won't even bat an eyelid," he chuckled.

Olivia laughed too, she knew he was serious.

"I think we just need to see how things go and take those big steps as we can and keep communicating about it. Regardless if we live here permanently or just on the weekends — we can still work on plans for this ranch if that's what you want. Technically the land that I have with Joey is divided, we have a contract between us and short of building skyscrapers on my land, we're totally on board with whatever the other wants to do— that's the way my parents wanted it… so… please don't worry."

"Alright… just take it day by day, week-by-week, huh?"

Trevor nodded and smiled. "Yeah, that's all we have to do for now. I know being in love doesn't automatically make things work, sometimes there has to be more than love, but I'll work on us and for us if you promise to as well."

She nodded, "Yeah, I will, I promise. I want us to work out… I really can't imagine being without you anymore."

He smiled, holding her around her waist, "Good, I feel the same. I'm so glad to hear that."

She felt his arms around her, pulling her as close as she could get to him with need. "Sorry," she apologised, "the idea of us not being here as often as we want kind of … bummed out."

"Don't…" he said gently, "don't let that worry you, we'll be here as often as you want to be, baby. We are a package deal now, the three of us — you me and Noah… we don't leave each other behind." He could tell she was a little upset, suddenly. Her entire demeanour had changed — flirty Olivia had disappeared and been replaced by quiet, introverted and internalised Olivia. "What can I say that will make you feel better?," he inquired feeling bad.

"Nothing babe, I'm okay, promise… could you just hold me?," she replied with an air of vulnerability about her.

"Of course…" he murmured. Her legs wrapped behind his thighs and she had him pulled to her chest and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you," he told her, recognising that perhaps all she required was a little comfort — she could be a little like that at times, he'd noticed it shortly after they began dating.

He was one who often got caught up in his own head, but Olivia, on the other hand got lost in her own thoughts and when the thoughts were dark enough, it had the power to overshadow the moment with insecurity and worry. "I don't want you to worry," he told her, "I don't want you to think any of this is a deal breaker for me. I love you and I absolutely do not want you to put your job on the back burner or slow it down or consider retirement. I personally think that you are so gifted at your job that you need to do this for as long as you can and I will always lift you up, I promise."

"Thanks…" she breathed resolutely.

He turned his head and kissed her cheek. "K?"

She pulled away, creating some distance until she could see his face again.

"Okay," she nodded.

He pulled her back to the halfway point of the pool just before the bridge and felt her releasing him.

He watched her disappear beneath the surface of the water and swim away from him back to the shallow end. He followed her until she grabbed on to the ledge that the kids had coined; the beach area and watched her reappear, slicking her own hair back, wiping away the water from her eyes. She turned around to face him and smiled sweetly. "This is a nice, relaxing pool, thanks Trev…"

"You're welcome, baby. Want me to get the beers and we can just sit here and chill out?"

"Sure…" she agreed.

Trevor jumped out of the water and walked back around to grab their beers. He could hear her phone ringing. He quickly pulled it out and saw Jen calling. He answered it, hoping everything was okay.

"Hey, it's Trev…" he said before Olivia had even noticed he had her device.

"Hi Trev, it's Jen… everything is fine, no need for panic," she laughed, hearing the edge in his voice as he answered. "I am just calling to let you know everyone is in a great mood but I would imagine they're going to be asleep before we arrive home. Do you or Liv need anything before we leave?"

"Nah, I suggested we might go to dinner somewhere or go do a good food shop later… We're just in the pool, I'm glad the kids had a great time. Thanks Jen," he smiled and glanced at Olivia and gave her a thumbs up.

"Okay Trev, remember the pool is family-friendly," she joked.

"Gross, Jen, you're as bad as Joey. Goodbye!" He chuckled as he hung up. He grabbed the beers and met Olivia back at the beach end of the pool. "That was Jen, she said the kids have had a great time and they're on their way back…"

"Should we get out of the pool?" Olivia asked, alarmed.

"No," he gave her a funny look and twisted the top off of her beer before passing it to her. He did the same for his own. "Why? This is as much my pool as theirs. My bank account says so."

"Oh… okay. I just didn't want anyone to get weird."

"No one will be getting weird, I promise," he replied, getting back in to the water and leaning back against the pool wall. He watched Olivia take a couple of mouthfuls of the very cold beer.

Her upper arms were exposed from the water and he could see she was just a little sunburned. Her olive skin glistened with the dampness and he tried hard to not have impure thoughts when they'd just had a meaningful conversation, but it was tough.

"Quit staring at me like I'm your next meal," she told him, smiling to herself as she swallowed the liquid. She could feel his stare despite not even looking at him.

Trevor chuckled, "but you look beautiful… all….. wet."

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me…" she rose her voice a few octaves. "I am not just some piece of meat—"

His smile dropped, "I was only kidding, I'm sorry-"

Olivia cracked a smile, "so was I," she nudged him, "drink your beer and stop staring at me," she told him, clinking her bottle with his.

He shook his head. "You are so…"

"Finish that sentence," she told him warningly as a smile spread across his lips. He took a short swig, eyeing her.

"So going to be my wife one day."

Olivia almost choked, "Wow, I didn't expect that one, got anymore smooth-talking lines you want to get out in to the open?," she replied sarcastically, turning her head to look out in to the rolling hills. She took another sip of her beer before turning back to him and realised he looked a little hurt.

"Why do you do that?," he asked, "whenever I say something that maybe you deem as a grand statement, you say something that's … a little mean."

"Sorry," she replied, feeling reproached. She looked away from him, feeling bad.

"Just… don't be so quick to think that I'm just talking shit because I like the sound of my voice — or that I'm trying to tell you what I think you want to hear. We agreed that we'd communicate openly and not hold stuff back, I figured that meant good feelings as well as complicated feelings— if that's an issue for you-"

"No," she said, "no, it's not an issue, I'm sorry, I didn't mean intend on being mean to you, Trev. I guess it's just that people have said things like that to me in the past and I've fallen for it and I've never had a ring on my finger to date."

He felt for her. He understood, but he was not the same as the others. "That's understandable, but you need to know that I've also never had a ring on my finger and I've never once made a grand comment to any girlfriend in the past because I haven't felt it. If we continue feeling as strong as we do for one another, then yeah, I definitely will be wanting to marry the shit out of you."

She started to laugh. "Well… I hope you do."

"Me too, but for now… we've been dating for close to four months, I am allowed to start thinking forward and if that makes you uncomfortable, you're just gonna have to get used to it."

She smiled at him and put her beer up on the paved border around the pool. She climbed over him, his legs outstretched beneath her. He took another sip of his beer, eyeing her as she reached for it and took it from his hands and placed it next to hers just a little behind him.

"I'm very sorry for being reactive sometimes when you are trying your best to be honest and share yourself, I'm sorry for just now and I'm sorry for the future but please, please just be patient with me, I'm trying to work through it and I'm trying not to let you be responsible for the mistakes of those in the past."

"Aw…" he felt a pang of hurt wash over him briefly for how genuinely apologetic she seemed, as though it was actually her fault.

"I don't mean it," she continued, "my walls just fly up sometimes and I need a minute to just process it."

"Sweetheart, I'm not mad with you, don't do this to yourself. Just take whatever I say at face value… I never ever want to hurt you or Noah. I have no ulterior motive than to just be with you and to have a life with you because I just adore and love you so much."

"I know that, I know, you're kind and honest and I love you so much too, but sometimes I just feel reactive because I desperately don't want my heart broken or to be made to feel stupid or foolish…"

"Its okay," he repeated, he reached up, cupping her cheek in his hand, "I promise to be patient, but just tell me if you need me to talk you through something I might say that's confronting."

"Okay," she agreed.

"Don't worry yourself too much about it."

"Love you…" she murmured again.

"Love you more," he replied, drawing her in, kissing her temple.

She kissed him back, catching the corner of his mouth.

She moved from him and took her beer back, taking another few mouthfuls until there was around a third left. It was settling nicely. She backed away from him. "Do these little sprinklers work?" She asked, backing beneath the shade of the bridge in the middle of the pool.

"They do, do you want me to put them on?"

"Sure…" it's really cool under here, I can feel my skin burning."

"I know, we should have bought sunscreen," he agreed. He climbed out of the water and turned on the hot tub and the waterfall at the other end as well the falling water beneath the bridge.

Olivia squealed with laughter as the water sprayed off the edges of either side of the bridge, catching her. She moved beneath it and let herself sink back beneath the water's surface. It was so refreshing and relaxing.

He smiled watching her as he got back in the water and drank his beer slowly. He was glad he could give her this; this time away from work— from life, reprieve from the evil that she encountered every single day that sometimes she took to sleep, that invaded her peace when all she wanted to do was relax.

Despite some hiccups, Olivia seemed less tense and more able to have fun with him.

"I feel like a bridge troll," she laughed.

Trevor laughed too, shielding his eyes as he watched her delight in the simple things. He put his beer up and slid off the beach area and made his way over to her. "You do not resemble anything akin to a troll, my love," he told her with a chuckle. He loved the feel of her embracing him and the weightlessness of her legs wrapped around him, clinging to him. She reached up, brushing her thumbs over his beard, her fingers tracing his jawline.

"I'm gonna trim my beard tonight, what do you think? It's crossing in to hobo territory."

Olivia laughed, "I can help if you like… not all the way, just… maybe a little shorter, I don't want to have to explain stubble rash to my kid."

Trevor laughed, "No… I wouldn't want to …" he paused, "hurt your delicate skin…"

"Thanks," she smiled, realising there was an intention behind his carefully considered words, but she wasn't quite sure exactly how she should respond.

He leaned over and aligned his lips with hers, enjoying the softness and the sweetness of the moment together. Sex had definitely brought them closer, they could hardly keep their hands and lips off one another. It was a nice, romantic, infatuation phase that they both seemed to very much enjoy.

He caressed her wet hair and looked in to her eyes. "This bikini…" he murmured, glancing down at her cleavage, "it really does it for me…" he slipped his forefinger beneath the elastic of the strap, running it down to the cup and back up again. "Probably more to do with your amazing boobs…" he remarked, grinning, looking up at her cheekily.

She laughed, throwing her head back as if she was exhausted by his comments. He took the opportunity to lean over, covering her throat with his mouth, his beard, tickling her. Olivia was taken off guard and almost fell back in to the water, but he grabbed her by her waist, securing her and suddenly her shock turned to pleasure as his tongue massaged against a very sensitive part of her neck that even she hadn't been aware of.

She breathed a quiet murmur, something akin to a moan that escaped the very place his mouth covered. She felt him chuckling against her, tasting the salt that coated her skin from the water, nipping her ever so slightly with his teeth. Olivia instantly felt limp. His arm slid up her back, holding head in his large hand, supporting her as she leaned back further, her pelvis angled against him.

He closed his mouth, nuzzling her, planting small kisses all the way to her collarbone, burying his face in to her neck, letting his free hand slide down to the supple flesh of her ass, down even further until he gripped her thigh, slipping in the space between them, his fingers brushing over the intimate spot that almost made her black out.

She gasped and just as quickly, his touch was gone before she had the chance to lean in to it.

He was aware exactly what his sensual kisses and touches did to her, he pulled her against him, finding her ass again, letting his fingertips drag over the back of her thigh until he had a handful of her flesh, squeezing gently.

She breathed another sigh of pleasure as he found her mouth, losing his tongue inside, passionate and eager.

They made out for a few minutes, Trevor pushing her to the side, leaning against the wall beneath the bridge until she was pinned against it. She didn't mind his possessiveness and completely yielded to him. She was his and he knew it and she didn't even care anymore.

He broke the kiss, he knew he was getting harder and the pool wasn't exactly the place for them to be going for it when the kids and his brother and wife would be home before he would be able to complete things.

He kissed her a few times, "what about some alone time in the hot tub later?," he asked with a soft kiss, slowing it right down.

She chuckled. "Maybe… but… it's probably a bit far from Noah if he's asleep…"

"Oh yeah, good point, sorry…"

"Maybe we could make use of that giant tub in your bathroom instead?"

Trevor flashed her a grin, "Yeah, I like that sound of that…"

She disengaged from their embrace, standing beneath the spray of the water. "I need a cold shower after that…" she joked.

"Me too," he chuckled, finding his way up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and enjoying the spray for a few moments before they made their way back to the beach area so Olivia could continue with her beer so it didn't get hot.

"I was thinking…" she started, "can we just have hot dogs or something for dinner? Noah isn't going to want to eat, he will probably be so excited and so exhausted."

"That's a good point, whatever you want to do is fine by me, I just wanted you to know that I can do better than using the grill every night," he told her, finishing his beer.

"I know that, I have faith in you," she smiled, picking up the bottle and drinking the last of hers too. "What are we gonna do tomorrow?"

"We-llllll, I have an idea, it's kind of a surprise but I don't know if I can make it happen until the time comes, so…" he leaned over and kissed her nose, "for now its going to stay a surprise."

"Okay," she smiled.

Trevor looked up at the sound of a car, "yep… here they are… they're back."

"We should get out…" Olivia replied.

"Let's just relish these last few minutes," he murmured, not wanting their alone time to end, but understanding that Noah was going to be full of excitement and happy to share his day with them. Plus, he had promised Olivia some girl time.

He pulled her on top of him and slid his arms around her waist. "Get comfortable, I just wanna be close to my baby for a few more minutes…"

Olivia smiled, pausing to kiss his jaw as she did as he asked and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. She let her eyes close.

He caressed her back softly. "I feel closer to you today," he murmured, "I know that sounds so … cheesy but… I feel fully comfortable with you now."

"Me too," Olivia replied, "there's always that absolute nervousness in letting someone see me naked," she chuckled a little shyly, "but once its done, that insecurity entirely leaves me."

"Good," he answered, "because you have zero reason to feel nervous, your body is beautiful."

"So is yours… are you fucking kidding me?," she breathed, realising she'd forgotten to compliment him the night before. "You are so muscular and strong…" she let her hand run down his wet bicep.

He chuckled, "no one has ever described me as being … muscular before," he smiled, loving her every bit more for her lifting him up.

"Well, I think you are. I don't like huge muscles, but you've got some gorgeous definition in these big guys…" she gave them a squeeze, "I could have watched you swinging that axe all day," she laughed in spite of herself, lifting her head to giggle cheekily at him.

"Woman, you are too much," he laughed with her, pressing his lips on hers. He loved how feminine and girly she was around him. He knew that no one in her life would have ever guessed she could be as soft as she was.

"Also, you have abs, at least a four pack…" he sucked his stomach in when he felt her reaching between them to caress his abdominal muscles, grazing her fingers down his waist and back up to his stomach again.

"Olivia, you are going to cause things that I won't be able to hide if you keep touching me like that…" he murmured, shocked when he felt her hand disappearing beneath his waistband, cupping his quickly-forming erection.

"Oh fuck…" he muttered. "Liv-" his throat was dry and he had no power to stop her palm from running along his shaft, her fingertips caressing their way down to the base of his penis. She rested her mouth against his, tasting the beer on his lips.

"I should stop, huh?," she asked rhetorically in a low voice, her words vibrating against his own mouth, letting her tongue swipe at his upper lip before she closed her mouth around it, tugging it gently between her teeth.

Trevor leaned in to her and captured a kiss.

Olivia removed her hand from his pants and let her hand find her way back up to his shoulder, smiling interiorly, knowing that he was hanging on to her every action, torn between wanting more and knowing that he couldn't have it right in that moment.

"You tease…" he mocked kindly, kissing her again.

She laughed, pulling away. "We'll just have to pick up where I just left off later…" she replied, eyeing his pick lips, wanting nothing more to just attack them with her own. She could hear kids laughing and yelling in the short distance.

"I really hope so," he murmured. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking…" her voice trailed as she decided how confident she felt and whether or not she could back up her words, "I'm thinking I want to put my mouth where my hands just were…"

He felt little explosions behind his eyes as he tilted his head back and let out a puff of air and a short burst of laughter. "You are killing me…."

She chuckled too, "I just really want to make you feel good…" she spoke soft against his ear, letting her lips graze his skin. His shoulders relaxed as her damp hair tickled his face, her hand on his opposite cheek, her fingertips gently scraping the beard that lined his jaw. It felt so good that he leaned in to it.

"You are definitely making me feel good — a little too good knowing that other people are going to be interrupting us in a few moments… but I am more than ready to return the pleasure."

A little blush filled Olivia's cheeks. "Would you like that?," he asked, realising her interest had been piqued.

"What did you have in mind?," she asked, her bashful yet curious smile as she raised an eyebrow. She knew the conversation would be quelled within a minute or so, but she was very interested in what Trevor had to say.

He chuckled, the noise came from the back of his throat, suggestive as he looked down in to her sweet expression. "You really want to know what I wanna do?"

"Mhmm," she nodded, captivated by the look in his eye, of love, lust and desire.

"I want to know how you'd feel about me kissing my way from your lips to your hips and if you're in to it… letting my beard tickle the inside of your legs as my mouth covers you and my tongue brings you undone one swipe at a time…"

She drew in a deep breath before letting it go, with shaky hands she kissed and nipped at his neck. "I really think I'd be open to that…"

"Yeah?," he added, as if to confirm.

"Mmmhmm, yeah," she nodded with fervour, wishing that the conversation could have taken place an hour earlier so that they could have gone back to the house, or even on the deck chair on the other side of the pool.

"Good, because I really want to make you feel good too," he added, turning his head to meet her lips. She reached up, circling her arms around his neck, kneeling over his thighs until she was upright, a little taller than him and looking down in to his face. They shared little, knowing smiles.

"I love you…" Olivia told him softly and slowly, wanting him to know that she meant every word.

"I love you," he repeated with the same deliberateness. "I love you so much that I want us to have the greatest sex," he added.

She laughed, "Well, I don't think I'd ever aspire for bad sex, but I'm here to let you know that it was not in the least bit bad so you don't have anything to worry about…"

"Yeah? What was your best part?"

She started to laugh as he looked at her with amusement, wondering if she would take the bait. She leaned close, resting her lips against his again. She kissed him; a series of long, wet kisses. "The part where you were lifting me off the mattress and I could feel you so deep inside me," she dared the words to spill out in to the open between them. She felt a little shaky with vulnerability — or maybe disbelief at her own forwardness.

Trevor grinned and kissed her back a few times, each kiss lingering longer than the last. "That is very, very good to hear…" They kissed again, "if you want anything from me, a position, a way of touching you or making you come, you tell me… okay? I want you to be bold…"

"Was it not bold me just telling you that? Because I'm not usually this forward or brave."

Trevor caressed her bare shoulders thoughtfully before lifting his eyes back up to meet hers. "Yeah, but… I want you to feel comfortable enough to say or share whatever. I want you to know that I enjoy giving oral and I love receiving oral…"

"What?," she smiled, "really? I mean, I'm not surprised that you love receiving it, because what guy doesn't… but giving it? Seriously?"

He laughed at her disbelief, "Yeah? Why not? Why is that so weird?"

Olivia realised she was over-reacting and making him feel self conscious. "I don't know… I just haven't run in to a lot of men who want to do it."

"Is it what you like?," he asked gently, wondering if she was had just gone along with what her partners had wanted in the past with little interest in what she wanted.

She thought about it for a second before shrugging, "I've always had to ask them to stop," she blushed, "it's just… a little too intimate and I feel like it should feel better than it does especially when I hear other women raving about it…"

"Ah," Trevor smiled, "it's just not being done properly…" he replied with confidence.

"An ex told me that he didn't really like doing it anyway so he was glad I'd stopped him," she admitted.

Trevor made a face, "I feel sad for you… what a douche. I really like it and I have confidence that I know what I'm doing — and also, Liv, it is intimate, I get that, but that's part of being in love, getting rid of all those silly inhibited feelings and being incredibly intimate with someone — me."

She nodded and kissed him, "Okay…"

"So think about it and if you want to try again with someone who will take his time and make absolute sure you enjoy it, then … I'll do it for you and do it absolutely willingly. Or if there's something else…"

She smirked, "I actually just love that we can be this honest…it's sexy and a huge turn on for me."

"Me too…" his voice trailed, taking her face in his hands, shifting beneath her. "I love that for us." He kissed her, sliding his tongue between her lips, feeling her body rolling against his as they kissed rhythmically. He let his hands slide down her arms until he took her hips, feeling his mild erection pressing in to her core, letting her pelvis work involuntarily against hers.

He could barely stand it, he gripped her tightly, halting her hips from moving against him, but he wasn't strong enough to stop her his tongue from exploring her mouth, massaging against hers, sending shivers throughout his body and goosebumps on his skin.

"A-ah-ah-ah-HEM!"

Like squealing brakes in the dirt, Olivia pulled away from Trevor, realising there was someone behind them. "Wow…" Joey laughed, "Trevor Langan, this is a public swimm-"

"What do you want, Joey?" Trevor cut him off breathing a sigh, feeling Olivia's embarrassment, her burning cheeks almost heating up his own skin.

"Should I just drown myself now or…?," she asked rhetorically, meant for it to be a joke.

Joey began to laugh, "I'm just teasing you both, sorry to interrupt… I decided to volunteer myself, not wanting to send Noah in to find goodness knows what…"

"Don't be a dick, Joey, you're annoying me. I don't come and embarrass you and Jen, and trust me I've walked in on a whole lot more than kissing if you really want to start pulling at threads."

Joey laughed again. "Joey," Olivia cleared her throat, trying her best not to be ruined by embarrassment, "Do you think you could go and get me another beer and also my child?," she smiled angelically as she allowed herself to settle back down next to Trevor.

Joey glanced at her and then back at Olivia and laughed. "Olivia, for you, yes I will get you another beer, of course… give you guys a second to readjust things," he gave her a sugar-y smile right back and they both laughed at the sheer awkwardness of the situation.

"Can Noah swim?," he asked, "I have some floats if he can't."

"He might need floats. He can kind of swim , just not properly yet, he's still getting lessons.…"

"You guys are probably going to be attacked by kids, I'm just warning you. You're gonna be watching bombs and crazy jumps and kicks and splashes, it'll be a real mood kill."

"Joey! I told you to leave them alone!" Jen's voice called after him. "Why are you such a dick to your brother?"

"Uhoh," Joey muttered.

Trevor and Liv were able to laugh. Trevor knew how much his brother liked to stir him, but knew that he didn't like to be told off by his wife.

"Your husband is being disgusting," Trevor tattled.

"Joe!" Jen admonished him, "I'm so sorry Olivia," she apologised, "I told him not to harass you both."

"Its okay, Joey just offered to get us fresh beers, didn't you Joey?" Olivia chuckled.

"I did!" He played along, heading over to grab the empty bottles.

"Actually," Trevor pitched in, "I think you should be a decent husband for the first time in your life, Joe, and give your wife the afternoon off, I hear she and Liv are in need of some girl time or at least a moment to themselves."

Joey humphed but Olivia and Trevor knew it was with good humour. "I suggested we could take the kids to the river or for a walk or kick the ball — something to tire them out."

"Actually that sounds good…" Joey agreed, "let's stay away from the river though, I saw a snake last week and it's been so hot, there might be more."

"Good point."

"Well, if Trev, Joey and the kids are heading out, maybe I'll join you," Jen suggested, nodding toward the pool, "might be nice to spend time without kids shouting at me to watch their every move."

Olivia laughed, "sure, that sounds good but I think I might need to go and get some sunscreen."

"No, that's okay, I'll grab some," she replied, "I'll go change — Joe the kids are just there," she nodded right by where she was standing. "Noah?" She called out, "come say hi to Mom and Trev…" she turned back to Liv, "I won't be long.

Olivia spotted Noah who waved excitedly at her. "Mommy! You're in the pool! Can I come in the pool?," he asked, his eyes wide.

"Maybe later baby," she replied. Joey reached over the pool fence, "Grab on Noah," he smiled at her little boy and lifted him over it.

"I was thinking that Joey and I would take you and Olly and the girls for a walk or for a ride of the horses and we can give Mom and Jen some relaxing time, what do you think about that?" Trevor asked the little boy who ran toward them, standing by the side of the pool.

"Oh! Yeah! Will I ride Dolly?"

"Maybe, we'll work it out," Trevor smiled.

"Did you have a great time at the movies and the park?" Olivia asked as her son.

He nodded with a big grin, "I saw the dinosaur movie and then we went to eat and Olly and I had a pizza and we played in the park for a looooong time!"

Olivia grinned at him, "I am so glad you had such a good time! Did you say thank you to Jen and Joey and remember to use your manners?"

"Yes Mommy," he nodded.

"He did," Joey confirmed, "he has beautiful manners, you can come and hang out with us anytime Noah." He glanced at Olivia, "he makes my kids look like animals."

"He can be a little animal too, can't you honey?"

Noah giggled.

"Okay, I'll round up the kids Trev, meet you in about ten out the front of your place."

Trevor agreed.

Joey left them to it.

"Hey baby, are you having a good time here on the farm?" Olivia asked her son.

"Yeah! Its the best I want to live here," he told her, grinning at them both. Trevor turned to Olivia, smiling too.

"Well, we won't be living here, my love, I think you'd miss the city and Katja too much but I think this is a nice place for Trevor, you and I to visit as often as we can, right?"

Noah nodded.

"Okay, I better get out… are you okay here with Jen?" Trevor asked, reluctant for their time to end.

"I'm totally fine, baby," Olivia replied, "you and Noah go and spend some time together and Jen and I will hang out."

"Okay," he paused and smiled at Olivia, "thank you for a wonderful day…"

"Thank you," she grinned, "to be continued…"

"To be continued," he confirmed with a wink, kissing her lips. He reluctantly stood up and stepped out of the pool. "Come on Noah, let's go… I think we could probably go put some sun cream on you and get you a hat and go for a horse ride. Maybe you can come up on the big horse with me."

"Bye Mommy!" Noah waved. They circled the pool so Trevor could get his towel and dry off before heading off back to the house so he could get changed.

/

Olivia and Jen migrated to the hot tub, turning the temperature down so it wasn't too warm since the sun was still belting down.

"Would you like a wine? I did bring you another beer, but … I've been told this is a great wine."

"Sure, let's go with the wine," Olivia smiled. "Thanks."

Olivia relaxed as the water bubbled around them and Jen poured their wine. She'd gone as far as bringing a bucket full of ice to keep it rested and cold.

They talked about the day and how lovely Noah had been and how well the boys had played together, showing extra patience for the twins.

"I feel like I've barely seen him since we've arrived," Liv laughed, "I hope you know I'm usually very, very reluctant to let Noah too far from my sight, but I know how much Trevor loves his nieces and nephew and trusts you guys with everything."

"I know, don't worry Liv, we understand," Jen told her kindly. "I think that's the beauty of living so close, even if Olly is over at Trevor's or if Noah comes and joins us, it's so close that if we need to check in, we can."

"That's true… I'm trying to relax a little while I'm here, but it's honestly not my strong point some days."

Jen smiled and sipped her wine. "You look pretty relaxed at the moment. Did you guys have a nice day to yourselves?"

"Yeah, I think when Trevor talked about the ranch, I had an idea in my head and it was not this."

Jen laughed, "Did you picture like a little hick farm?"

Olivia laughed and nodded, "Yeah, I didn't have any idea it could be this beautiful… I understand now why it means so much to Trevor, I mean," she paused, "even if it was a hick farm, there's some value and meaning to being away from the city and feeling peace, but this is definitely a way to live…"

She took a sip of the wine— it was good.

"I understand that, but Trevor is also really deeply rooted in Manhattan too and I guess you are, so he and Joey made a deal to take this on and we love it here and moving here as a primary residence is the best choice we could have ever made and we look after what we can for Trev and he's hired hands to do the rest that we can't manage."

"Yeah, he mentioned the animals."

Jen nodded, "Yeah, animal feeding is a lot of work and not something that Joe particularly loves and I'm too busy with the kids to look after them."

"That's totally fair…" Liv agreed, "he took me to see the piglets this morning, he's just adores them so much, I was a little surprised."

Jen chuckled, "Joe is so unattached to the animals, I think Trevor is just a more sensitive soul, he never quite got down with the idea of the food chain. I still remember him getting upset about Joe and his Dad ordering a stock truck to come and take the cows…"

"Oh, wait, you and Joey have been together that long?"

She nodded, "Yeah… Trevor and I were friends in high school, I was dating his friend and then I met Joey at party we held here," she laughed, "Scandalous, right?"

"Wow," Liv remarked, "that's great, so you've known Trevor since he was what? A teen?"

"Yeah, maybe since he was about 16, Joey and I have been together since I was 18, just over twenty years now…"

"That's incredible…"

They enjoyed their wine and talked — Olivia found it so refreshing to be able to shoot the breeze without any conversations about criminals and dark subject matter. As it turned out Jen was only a year older than her and they seemed to have a lot in common.

"Trevor and Joe's parents were so kind, but it was very clear that Trevor was far from his father's favourite," she explained, "he's always been super sensitive and he can turn to stone if someone has hurt his feelings," she explained, "I think his Mom really nurtured that side to him, Joe was a bit of an animal and I had a thing for the bad boys," she chuckled.

Olivia laughed, "welcome to my life… I'm finally realising I'm good enough for someone that actually gives a shit about me." She paused, "Wait, that sounded insulting towards Joe, sorry."

Jen laughed, "No, no… its okay Joe was crazy in his young adult years, we were on again and off again and goodness knows Trevor had to hear about it — and Angela too, she was like my little side kick because I'd all but moved in by the time I was 19."

"Wow… your parents were okay with that?"

Jen shrugged, "my mother didn't care about anything I did, she was probably just happy I was out of her hair; she was a big, big drinker and she loved to have men around and sometimes got angry with me because they showed me more affection and attention than they should have been showing a child."

Olivia made a face, "I'm really sorry about that, Jen, that's awful."

She shrugged, "Thanks Liv, but its alright, Trevor and Joe's mom, Annie was so maternal and she treated me like her own, she used to always straighten Joey out for me," she laughed. "She would have loved you!"

"Me?" Liv laughed, "why?"

"Because you have such a warm aura, when we came back from Trevor's yesterday afternoon after bringing the kids to say hi and bringing the bread, Joey was like, 'yeah, she's gonna last…'"

Olivia laughed more, "that's so funny, I could be an ass for all you guys know."

"No, no… trust me, we know Trevor and we know the kind of person he is. He treats just about every girlfriend he's ever had like a complete princess, but it's how the woman responds to it that's telling —- one or two leaned in to it and took advantage of his kindness and the last one acted like everything he said or wanted to do was irritating and overbearing so it's nice to see him with someone that he wants to put all of his love and energy in to, who leans in to it but who we can see also is returning that exact same energy."

"Wow…." Olivia murmured, taking a sip of her drink, letting the thought settle for a moment. "That's really nice… I think it's just a really unfair thing to do, to drag someone along for a ride when you don't feel the same and I could never ever do that to someone. He's got to be the nicest guy I've ever gotten to know."

"And you guys have known one another for a really long time, right?"

Olivia nodded thinking about her first few dealings with him. "Yeah, he was always nice and was never rude to me but goodness, I was rude to him, I hated him defending my perps… because he was so good at it."

"Oh, he took the guilt home with him, don't you worry about that… he was constantly having ethical and moral crisis and his Dad was always telling him to harden up and do his job 'someone has to do it'"

"That kind of explains it a little," Olivia murmured, leaning in to the jet that was making the consistent pain in her lower back feel that bit better. "He always told me he hated his job, but someone had to do it."

Jen smiled wryly, "Don't get me wrong, Joe and Trevor's Dad was a good man and he did love Trevor very much, he just didn't really know how to deal with that sensitive part of him and sometimes Joe and him would gang up on him and give him a hard time about things — like the animals, they'd try to force him to go hunting or to go with them to pick the livestock for market…"

"That's pretty shitty…"

"In their minds they were trying to harden him up, getting him to be more masculine."

"But, it's so weird because I would never consider Trevor to not be masculine, he is so…" Olivia found herself smiling at her, "very manly. He's 6'5, that man can sweep me off my feet, I've never been that model thin woman, I'm tall and I'm curvier the older I get…"

"Oh, yeah, no one doubts his masculinity, but between Joe and Trevor there's been a lot of healing, I think Trevor has turned in to a very confident man and Joe realised it really wasn't necessary to try to 'man him up', I told him he isn't ever going to treat Oliver like that. If Olly is sensitive, and he is, he needs to indulge it and not punish him."

"Noah is sensitive too, he's only four but he's such a little empath and it's beautiful for me to see that," Olivia told her. "I'm so glad that he and Olly are getting along."

"Olly is having such a hard time with school, he actually takes a lot after his uncle and maybe that's why things between Joe and Trevor are so good, because he's finally understanding what damage his father did by constantly berating him for not being macho enough."

"I hope things get better for Olly, it's really tough for them when kids are cruel, they just don't really have any understanding as to why and it becomes internalised."

Olivia noticed Jen pressing her lips together tightly and she realised she'd struck a raw nerve. "I'm sorry, Jen, did I just put my foot in it?"

"No, no… you're not saying anything I don't know."

"You know…" Olivia began, "I work with some amazing children's services and integration aids, and I know that this is not Olly's fault, but I've had some problems with Noah fairly recently and it became really helpful for me, so if you ever need to speak to anyone even just for some advice on how to cope for you and for Olly, please, please don't hesitate to ask."

Jen glanced at Olivia's hand upon her shoulder and smiled. "See, I knew you had a very kind and warm heart, Liv, thank you." She took a long sip of her wine, almost draining it. "You know, it would be my usual behaviour to tell you immediately that it's fine and that we can work it out, but…"

"But its your child and you should never be too proud to ask for help…" Liv finished for her, "I understand though, it's always my immediate reaction, 'I'm fine, Noah's fine, we're okay, we'll manage', but it doesn't have to mean you can't get help… I'm slowly learning that."

Jen nodded. "I would really like to take you up on that offer then, Liv, thank you."

"You're welcome, I'll speak to my colleagues through the week and before I leave I'll find out the best person to deal with or who might be able to give you the best help."

"That's so kind of you…"

Olivia shrugged as she watched Jen refill her own glass. She held the bottle out to Liv, "top up?"

Liv smiled and held her glass out, "sure thanks…"

"I hope you and Trevor will find happiness together with Noah, I was teasing him last night because the whole night he had his eyes all over your legs and couldn't keep his hands to himself and he is genuinely head-over-heels. Joey was teasing him by text so hard this morning."

The two ladies laughed, "It's flattering the level of attention he gives me, I can't believe I wasted all that time on such assholes, but maybe I wasn't emotionally ready for a Trevor Langan in my life, but I'm ready now. I am still so shocked that a guy as beautiful and as good looking as him is into little old me…."

"Oh, but I'm not… the way he told us about what you do and how passionate you are about what you do — someone who is not a beautiful soul couldn't do what you do and stay in the job for as long as you have. I just know that you've had to face demons just to help other people get past theirs…"

"To be quite honest," Olivia told her, breaking eye contact, "my Mom was a bit like yours, but she was a rape victim," she decided that she would volunteer some information just as Jen had, it was a new feeling, wanting to be less closed off, less private about things that she encouraged others not to be private about.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is that what brought you to the Special Victims?"

"Yes and no," Olivia shrugged thoughtfully, "I was a product of that rape, my Mom chose to have me so we had a very … complex relationship."

"Liv… I'm-" Jen closed her mouth, "wow, I'm so sorry."

Olivia shook her head, "No, you don't ever need to be sorry for something you didn't do," she smiled, "its okay, I've made my peace with it — maybe in my head I wanted to find my biological father because I blamed him for how my mother treated me — but she drank a lot and I understand, the more I work with victims, the more compassion I feel for my mother. She did her best…"

"When you gave birth to Noah, did it ever make you feel anger? Like, I felt like that after having Olly — how could a mother do what mine did?," she asked.

Olivia enjoyed their conversation — she didn't often have deep or intense conversations with other women and it felt natural and good to just have an understanding, a commonality of childhood trauma and also bonding over their similar aged boys.

"Yeah, at times…" she replied, "but I guess, had my Mom just been a violent alcoholic with none of the other trauma attached, I would have been angrier, I just know how I never want to make my son feel and can only learn from her mistakes."

Jen nodded, "that's a good way to look at it."

"Noah is adopted by the way…"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to assume."

Liv shook her head and smiled, "it's okay, he knows, I've never lied to him, I'll explain it all in detail at some stage but right now he just knows that he came from the tummy of another Mommy and that she's in heaven now."

"Oh wow…" Jen murmured, "was his biological Mom someone that you knew?"

"She was a victim who worked for a pimp and got caught up — his biological father was…. pure evil…I think if she'd chosen another path it could have worked out, but in the end they got to her and we found Noah in a cupboard drawer and I just thought about that poor baby day in and day out — and as they say, it was kind of … a miracle."

Jen smiled, "were you looking to adopt?"

Olivia laughed and shook her head, "no, but I was never closed to the idea, Noah was going to be a ward of the state and needed special care because of some injuries he had as an infant…" she explained how it worked out.

"That's actually such a beautiful story and you took him on with an open heart, you must have genuinely wanted to become a mother."

"Truthfully, I did. And whatever relationship I was in, none of them worked out. I was with a real who's who of assholes," she laughed, "but Noah is my everything, my reason for doing every single thing that I do."

"Do you think that you will want more kids?," she wondered and Olivia knew she was asking with curiosity, trying to figure out if her brother-in-law would ever officially become a father.

"I think I'm open to the discussion if Trevor and I prove to be committed and long term which I am aware is down the track and I don't know how many more reproductive years I have or even if I'm able to — but I guess we'll see." She turned the question back around on Trevor's sister-in-law, "what about you?"

Jen grinned at her, "yeah, I want to have more kids, the more the merrier," she laughed at her own joke. "No but for real, maybe one soon, by the time Jazz and Jamie are in school, I think it's great to love kids, but you also have to be committed to spending time with them all. So maybe one more. I don't want any of our kids to only get 10% of us as parents."

"That's a good logic," Olivia agreed. "I think if I have another kid, I want Noah to be old enough to be engaged and to really want a sibling too."

"Do you think he'd love it?"

Olivia nodded with a smile, "yeah, he'd love to be an older brother, he loves being around other people."

"He's so polite and well-mannered and sweet, Liv," she chuckled, "he told Olly to be kind to Jazz when we were on the way home cos he called his sister stupid."

Olivia laughed, "typical, trying to be the peace-maker."

"No, it was sweet and Olly actually listened and apologised without Joey or I having to say a word, it was kind of adorable."

"Well, he's not at school yet but I'm sure when he starts so will an attitude."

Jen agreed, "Yeah, the three of mine were angels until school and then Olly … wow, he came home swearing and then there was some anger and lashing out and some of it might just be learning new things but I think a lot of it was the bullying…"

"Sounds like it," Olivia nodded. She realised that she was starting to get a little cold so she and Jen opted to get out and dry off before they would head back to Trevor's place.

Jen offered to drive them, but the walk would be nice, especially when she Olivia was assured that the kids and the two men wouldn't be back for a little while. It would have given her some time to walk back the short distance to the house and get changed.