Hi everyone, sorry that this chapter is a little bit late but I was sick most of this week with a stomach bug of some description and just started feeling a little better yesterday afternoon. I have already began working on the next chapter, I think there's still a few more to go in this one, what do you think? There's some fun scenarios that I'm looking to write. Please let me know what you think. When you read this you might think; "Too soon" for the thing that happens, but ... is a suspension of reality and really its just fiction... felt funny writing it for the "too soon" reason which you will understand when you read, but ... it's a perfect world. hahaha. Drop me a comment when ya done. Or else... ya done! :P joking (sort of) xxx

TW for this chapter, SA & Rape conversations.


"You know what, Liv?" Jen smiled at her as they just finished ordering their breakfast, "I don't have any female friends and I always say to Joey, I wish I had a girlfriend to go to a bar with…"

Liv smiled, "I find it very hard to believe that you don't have any friends," she remarked.

"Ha…" Jen looked away a little embarrassed, "I think if I'm honest, I have a habit of seeming too desperate to make friends, I asked a couple of Mom's at the school to hang out and I got rejected," she was able to laugh, "I don't know… maybe I'm over the top."

Olivia reached out for her hand and gave her it a squeeze. "Well, I don't think so," she replied.

The truth was, her first impression of Jen was that she was a little too friendly with her, but it was only an initial impression, after she checked herself, she realised her familiarity was based on how much Trevor had shared and how much she looked after Trevor when he stayed at the farm.

Jen was a tall, thin blond woman who ticked all the boxes of everything that she wasn't and maybe that was Olivia's initial bias. She was a stay-at-home Mom who had all the time in the world for her twin girls and beautiful boy, she genuinely loved to bake and take care of the house and spend time with her husband. She had all the patience in the world for her kids. Perhaps the initial response was because of jealousy, or that maybe this woman was a little too much of what she felt was the representation of a weak woman.

With a little time she realised that Jen and Joe were a team, she was not the kind of woman who was pinned down by patriarchal beliefs or traditions, Jen was opinionated, strong and if anything, Joe was more inclined to do what she told him to do.

She genuinely liked her and her affection for the woman that Trevor adored as his beloved sister-in-law was rapidly growing. Her kindness and warmth knew no bounds and Olivia loved that the most about her.

"Thanks Liv…"

"Sorry, what were you going to say, I interrupted you?" Olivia motioned for her to speak.

"I was just going to say, I think we should have a night out, what do you think? Do you feel comfortable trusting Trevor to look after Noah with Joey for the night while we go out and have a drink or a dance?"

Olivia felt a smile spread across her lips. "You want to go have a big night out?," she asked, a little amused.

"Is that dumb? I dunno, I just don't have anyone to go out and blow off steam with… but if it's not your thing, that's cool…"

"No, I think we should… is there like, a really nice restaurant in town?," Liv asked as the waitress turned up with a little silver pot of tea and two tea cups.

"Yeah, there's a couple of nice places, some are a bit expensive, but we could do dinner and drinks if a bar isn't your thing," Jen smiled, staring back at Liv with her blue eyes. Despite trying to hide it, Liv could see her deflation.

"I just thought we could go and coat our stomachs with some good food and then we could go find a cocktail bar that has some decent enough music and get ourselves a little smashed."

Jen grinned, "Yeah? Oh my goodness, I haven't had a good night out since Angela came back to town after the twins were born, but even then I couldn't drink too much cos I was feeding." Her excitement was evident.

Olivia felt so happy to oblige her. "Well my love," she smiled, "prepare to get wrecked and maybe we can forewarn Trevor and Joe that we might require picking up."

Jen laughed. "Is Trevor okay with you getting drunk? Or do you think he'll have an issue with that? I don't want to cause any problems."

She shook her head, "I don't even think he'd try, but in truth, I think he kind of likes it when I get a bit drunk and silly," she admitted, "he makes sure I'm taken care of, he's a gentleman like that."

"Joe too," Jen replied, "I know it doesn't seem like it and he can come across as a total ass hat, but he's so kind and so gentle with me, he is always encouraging me to try to make friends and have other interests… but," she paused, lifting the teapot and pouring some tea in to both of their cups. "But I guess over time I've lost confidence…"

"I'm sorry," Olivia apologised, adding a little milk just like she had been shown on her first and only trip to London. "Also, I never thought Joe was a dick. I like him, he's funny. I like his sense of humour." She decided to change the subject though, "but I really think that Joe's right, if you need more time with female friends, taking up new hobbies is a good way to do that…"

Jen shrugged, "its hard to do that, I'm not really that kind of a social person. I guess I feel comfortable with you because when I met you Trevor was there and so was Joe and the kids and it's all a social buffer."

Liv took a sip of her tea, "I never noticed, I thought you seemed so confident," she assured her, "if it helps, when I pick up Noah from daycare, the Mom's make me feel so inferior, and why are Mom's so judgmental and bitchy?"

"Right!?" Jen agreed, "a lot of the Mom's work and I've had some seriously shitty things said to me. 'Oh, I couldn't do what you do, just sit around all day'"

"Ugh," Olivia made a sound from her throat of disgust, "I get the opposite, ohhhhh I thought the nanny was Noah's Mom, wow Olivia, your job is so demanding, I don't know how you could listen to that filth all day long.."

Jen's eyes widened, "Filth?!," she gasped, "they're referring to someone's assault as filth?" She shook her head in disbelief, "what the fuck is wrong with people?," she cursed, "I can't-"

"I know, I guess people like that can't at all fathom what it would be like to be a victim of something like a sex crime, but this kind of stigma, its dangerous because its hard to disclose and its even harder to report…"

Jen nodded slowly, "My brain can't fathom being so insensitive…"

Olivia smiled weakly, "I hear all kinds of things in my job, nothing ever surprises me or offends me anymore."

"Are you numb to it?" Jen asked her curiously.

"No, never. I take every disclosure from every victim with complete solemnity and with sensitivity. Only 68% of rapes are even reported in New York State and I don't want anyone who comes to me to ever, ever regret that."

Jen picked up her tea and took a sip before looking in to her new friend's eyes, admiring her for the work she did. "Do you catch them all?," Jen wondered, blinking back the stinging of tears in her eyes.

"No, but I fight my damn hardest, Jen…" Olivia replied, "and for those that I wasn't able to bring justice to, I try my best to help them turn their fear in to strength and hope. My phone number is open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk to me at any time… We run workshops for empowerment and teach self-defence and offer limitless counselling services…"

Olivia met Jen's glassy eyes and realised the conversation was a lot for someone who wasn't in her line of work. Sometimes she forgot when talking to people outside of her job that the details and the nature of her work was something others didn't need to hear too much about. "I'm sorry," she apologised, "it's a lot to hear about, I'll shut up."

"No…" she shook her head and sniffed. "Can I tell you something?"

Olivia knew immediately. She reached across the table and took her hand. "Oh, Jen, of course…"

"One of my Mom's many boyfriend's…he…" she cleared her throat, "he used to come in to my room when I was 16 or 17… that's why I moved out. I told Trevor and he wouldn't let me go home. So I stayed a lot at the farm here and when she broke up with him, I went home and when there was a guy at home, Trevor stayed at my house with me…. He was the kindest."

"I'm glad you had support with Trevor, but… I'm so sorry that that happened to you, Jen."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes and sat up straight. "Thanks Olivia. I wish I'd had someone like you in my corner when I was younger…"

"Did you ever tell your Mom?" Liv wondered.

Jen shook her head, "she was already jealous of the way he looked at me, she blamed me for looking a certain way when I was home that was teasing to the guy… but I was just a teenager living my life, and I assure you, I was incredibly uninviting and dorky…"

"It wouldn't have mattered how you looked, predators are predators and I'm so sorry."

"Its okay, I had Trevor and he was the best friend I could have ever had."

It crossed Olivia's mind as to whether or not there was ever anything between Jen and Trevor, if perhaps his brother won the girl and she was the one who got away, a regret and someone he considered his biggest love.

In a way it was better to not know, she knew it would mess with her head if Trevor admitted it to be the case. "And Joe? Does Joe know?"

Jen nodded and gave a little smile. "Trevor told him and I was so furious with him for doing that, but I found intimacy really a huge struggle when Joe and I got serious and I couldn't explain why and Joey took it all very personal and I think Trev was just trying to help because he knew I couldn't admit out loud what happened… but Joey was so kind and offered to beat the shit out of my Mom's ex who was probably long gone anyway… I moved in to the farm not long after and their Mom was so…" Jen smiled, "so perfect and motherly and an inspiration for me."

"It has kind of a happy ending, right? You had good support Jen, that's so wonderful. Have you ever had therapy or anything like that?"

She shook her head. "It seems all a little indulgent," she admitted.

Olivia gave a laugh. "Gosh, you sound like me… but I had to see a mandated therapist for work and it's helped a little. I have some severe abandonment issues going on from childhood and… other stuff, so… I want to say that if you need any help with talking to someone, I can set something up for you and you don't even need to tell anyone."

"Thanks Liv…" Jen smiled. "Maybe this is why I'm terrible at making friends, it always just feels like someone can see inside of my soul… and I have to be happy, like over-the-top happy is if I'm trying to throw them off the scent that something bad happened to me because if I act 'normal'," she paused to make air quotes, "then they might see it in me and I can't handle that…" Olivia understood, she felt like that after her abduction was splashed all over the news with some of the finer details open for public fodder. Jen continued, "it's like this one thing that happened to me that makes me so revolted and that internalised feeling of 'how did you let this happen'?"

Olivia nodded slowly, "You know, almost every single person that discloses to me tells me that they have that feeling… and I get it. I get that feeling too." Olivia explained a little about Lewis, as much as she could, "and every now and then if I get lost in my trauma, I become furious with myself with the exact same thought."

"And yet it wasn't your fault," Jen replied.

"I know that… and I think you know that too, but it's just a deep feeling and its trauma speaking…"

"I think it makes me needy and people feel that radiating from me so they don't want to be around me, but for whatever reason this one family, Trevor initially found me special enough to want to be around and then Joey and I fell in love and to a degree, Ange is like my little sister, I have been around them so long that I feel comfortable enough to not feel like they might leave, but everyone else… I try so hard because I don't want them to leave but ironically that part of me that tries to hard is what pushes them away."

"Wow," Liv smiled wryly, "you and I are way more alike than I ever thought," Liv replied. "Sorry, I don't mean to smile about it… but getting in to this whole relationship with Trevor has been difficult because I have such a heightened sense of fear over him leaving me or deciding that he doesn't actually like me."

Jen shook her head. "Trevor is solid over you Olivia, you don't have to worry, I promise. I've never seen him fall in love quite so hard and he just wants to be around you all of the time and he's so soft around you and Noah, he wants to be a Dad so bad."

Olivia smiled. "Thanks for saying that…"

"Thanks for being my friend, for not thinking I'm a pain in the ass."

She laughed, "Never. I think you're one of the kindest people I've met and I hope that we'll be good friends."

"I hope so too," Jen agreed.

"Should we order some cake to celebrate?" Olivia asked, glancing over at the amazing looking cakes in the display fridge at the counter.

"Sure, what are we celebrating?" Jen wondered.

Olivia shrugged, "Life, friendship, me getting to have sex again after a very, very long drought," she blurted out.

A burst of laughter erupted from Jen's throat, a grin filling her face. "Oh, Liv, I'm very happy for you… I hope it was everything you needed and more."

"Oh," Liv nodded, grinning and chuckling in spite of herself, "it definitely was."

"So you definitely deserve cake, sex drought-ending cake," Jen confirmed. She flagged the young waitress down who came over and went through what each cake was.

Olivia looked up at the teen girl warmly, "I think I'm gonna have a slice of the Devil's Food Cake, please."

"No problem and for you, ma'am?" The girl looked to Jen.

"Could I please have a slice of the Hummingbird Cake?," she asked with a smile.

"Of course…"

"Thank you so much," Jen added.

The waitressed promised to be right back.

"Do you have a time that you need to be back at home by?" Olivia asked Jen.

She shook her head, "No, Joe was so sweet this morning when I told him we were going out. He was so excited for me," she chuckled, "so pathetic, right?"

"No… not at all. He just wants your to be happy, I think that's actually really special."

Jen nodded with agreement, "he's the best… he acted like I was going on a first date or something," she giggled, "but anyway, I know if I just called and said we planned on hanging out all day he would be fine — but we're gross and co-dependant and miss each other after only a few hours, is that weird?"

"I think it's sweet and I have a feeling things are gonna be like that between Trevor and I the second we get back to Manhattan."

"Sorry, is there something else you wanted to do after here?"

"Mmm I don't know, I just thought it might be nice to go to a department store and get some cooler clothes and some things for Noah to keep here because I know we are gonna be back." She paused, "unless Trevor dumps my ass for some hot assistant at work."

They both laughed because they knew it would never happen. "Never. Trevor is dedicated to you and Noah. It's actually so lovely to watch him, he's so fantastic with your son, I hope you don't mind me saying."

"No, he is…" Olivia agreed, "I have my moments of freaking out about it, but my friend from work kind of talked me down from the ledge about it so-to-speak, it's just tough because I'm frightened. If he comes out with calling him Dad or something, I might actually have a melt down…but I feel like it's gonna happen any second, I feel like I may have actually heard him go to call him Dad but correct himself"

Jen smiled, "What if you and Trev have a baby, would you be okay with Noah calling him Dad then?"

"I don't know, the idea of it gives me chest pain," she laughed, "its not even that I don't think Trevor would fit the role, it's that a, he might bail one day and break Noah's heart and .. my heart, or b, he might be so good at it and turn out to be my absolute forever and the best Dad I could have ever imagined for my kid, that scares me too, I don't know why."

"Well, probably because you have a lot to lose if it doesn't work out. But, you and Trevor have been doing your thing for what feels like forever, gosh…" she remarked, "I can remember back almost a year ago when he started catching feelings for you and then freaking out on your first date— it feels like it's right, he isn't going to let go of any of this without a fight. He would be so lucky to have a forever with you and I don't think Trevor will let you down, he and his brother were raised to treat women right — with complete love and respect with the need and the want to serve and provide."

Olivia nodded slowly, taking in her words. She smiled slowly. "What would I even do if Noah busted out the D word?"

"If its too much for both you and Trevor, then you just explain that he's Trevor, not Dad. If you're okay with it, you just let it happen naturally and at Noah's will… if things don't work out for some crazy reason, then Noah will get through… he really will."

"You're right. You and Amanda, you're both right. If I was any kind of a smart Mom, I would have kept Trevor and Noah very separate for at least 6-9months but I think it's hard because I work such long hours and either Trevor or Noah would fall short of my affection and I didn't want Trevor to get bored waiting for when I've got time, but I really didn't want Noah to receive scraps of my love and attention either; he already struggles at times."

"I don't think you've done anything wrong, honey," Jen said gently, "you have to be kind to yourself, you do an important job and … what you said about being on speed dial 24/7 - that in itself is above and beyond the port of call, then you have the people that need you just as much at home, so you're doing your best. In an ideal world, maybe you would have waited a bit, but you didn't so now you just move forward…."

"Thanks Jen, you're right…I am doing by best."

/

"Mommy! Did you buy me a surprise when you went with Jen?" Noah asked, curiously looking at the bags that Olivia took from the back of Jen's car. Trevor hid a little bit of a smirk.

"Noah," she warned him, "I don't always have to buy you a surprise when I go somewhere without you, do I?"

"No," he replied, "but I like it when you do," he smiled up at his Mom, looking angelic and sweet and she could barely say no to him.

"Good to see Noah is the same as my kids," Jen remarked with a laugh, taking her own bags. "Here, let me get that for you," Trevor, grabbed Liv's stuff. "Is that it or is there more?"

"Is that it?" Olivia laughed, "Trev, there's so much here…"

"Ouchhhhh," Joe cringed, looking at Jen's pile of bags. She looked at her husband surprised by his reaction. He smiled, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Relax babe, I'm just kidding," he kissed her cheek. "Did you guys have a good time in town?," he asked, looking from Liv to Jen.

"The best," Liv flashed him a smile, "but my legs are sore from walking."

"Auntie Livvy," a small voice sounded from beside her, a tiny hand at her leg. Olivia grinned as the smallest of the twins, Jazz got her attention.

"Yes, honey?"

"Uncle Trev said you and Mommy are going to swim with us." Olivia glanced at Trevor who's mouth hung open with shock.

"I did not say that, Jazz!," he defended himself. He heard Joey laughing and glanced up at him, knowing he'd put his daughter up to it.

"Did he tell you that, did he?"

"Jazzy, leave Auntie Liv alone, she might not want to go swimming and Daddy shouldn't make you tell lies."

"How about after I have a little rest, I will come and get you and Jamie and you both can come swimming with me, and Daddy and Uncle Trev can take the boys to do something?"

Jazz nodded happily.

"That sounds fair," Trevor agreed.

"Okay, we might go have a little rest too, what do you think, Noah?" Trevor asked Olivia's son.

"I wanna play," he replied, "I don't need a rest."

"I disagree," Olivia replied. She turned to Trevor, "has he had lunch?"

"Of course, Liv…" he gave her a funny look as if he would have not fed her son. She felt bad the second she asked. "Okay, time for a one hour rest and then we can play again this afternoon," she told him.

"I think the girls probably could do with a little N-A-P," Joey spelled it out, "a certain someone," he nodded at Jamie, "is getting a little whiny and snappy with her siblings."

"OK, I think that a one hour rest might be good for everyone including Mommies," Jen announced. "Come on, Oliver," she waved her son closer, "that means you too."

Trevor grabbed the bags and they parted ways for a few hours.

/

"Come here, babe," Olivia told Noah. "I think we'll go and wipe your face, I don't know what you've been eating…"

"Mommy we had a popsicle after lunch!"

Olivia glanced at Trevor and gave him a look.

"What?," he asked with a little laugh, "I couldn't say no if the other kids were allowed to, could I?" He felt sheepish. Olivia took Noah upstairs and cleaned up his face and wiped his hands.

"Have you had a good day while Mommy was at out with Aunt Jen?"

Noah nodded, "Yeah Mommy, we played with the piggies and Trevor said I could ride Dolly later."

Olivia smiled tightly at her son, feeling a storm of anxiety taking over her. She tried to push it away but she couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Jen. "Mommy, I don't want to have a rest, I want to play with Oliver."

"Noah, I think you've played enough this morning, okay? Maybe Oliver and the twins need some time to rest too. Maybe their Mommy misses them."

Noah pouted, "But Mommmmm-myyyy."

"Stop it," Olivia held her hand up, pulling him off the bathroom sink and back down to his feet. "Don't talk back to me, you know better than that." Noah ran ahead, making his way down the steps.

"Hey, what's wrong?," Trevor asked, as he caught the little boy in his arms.

"Mommy said I can't play with Olly."

Olivia sighed, "I said, he needs to have a rest and that maybe the kids need a rest too or maybe their Mom and Dad might want some time alone with their family."

"I don't think that-"

"Don't, Trevor," she warned him, "I told him no."

He held up his hands in surrender. "You know what, something happened while you were out and I don't know what that was, but I'll give you and Noah some time alone to breathe."

She instantly felt bad.

"No-wait," she said quickly. "Trev, I'm sorry," she apologised immediately. "I'm just…" she took a deep breath, "I'm just a bit wound up and it's not your fault."

Trevor plucked Noah up and cuddled him. "Mom just misses you, bubba," he told him gently, pushing his curls from his face. Olivia wondered how he had it so right so quickly. She really did miss her son. She had barely seen him since they arrived.

She felt guilty for blaming Trevor momentarily, for being annoyed over something stupid like a popsicle and even worse for wanting to snap at him to keep out of it when he had swept her son up to comfort him. "Mommy looks a bit sad," Trevor remarked to Noah, "say, 'come over here, Mommy come and get a cuddle from me and Trev'"

Noah looked over his shoulder at his mother, 'Mommy don't be sad come and get a cuddle from me and Trev,'" He repeated.

"How can you argue with that?" Trevor asked sweetly, glancing at Olivia with a little smile. She closed the distance between them and felt his arms around her. She buried her face in her boyfriend's hard chest and closed her eyes, circling her arm around him, squeezing him.

She felt his lips atop of her head. She let out a sigh. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

"Its okay," he replied. She felt Noah's hand on her shoulder too. She lifted her head and smiled at her son.

"Mommy, don't miss me, I am right here," he told her.

"I know, but I haven't had a cuddle from my big boy for so long…"

"But I just wanted to play with my friends," Noah told his Mom, "but I still love you, Mommy."

She managed a laugh. "I love you too."

"You know what, Noah? I think Mom needs a little extra love so let's give Mommy a minute to maybe get changed, we'll turn the air on and make her a snack…"

Olivia looked up at her beautiful man who smiled softly at her. "Thank you,"

"You're welcome, go get changed baby…" she felt his hand caressing her back.

/

"Here, take this bowl to Mommy and then you can come and get this one too," Trevor smiled at Noah who took the fresh strawberries and blueberries to Olivia who sat on the couch in her pajamas knowing that she would more than likely be going swimming after she had a little rest that maybe she was committing both Trevor and Noah to just because her fears suddenly smacked her in the face once again.

"Thank you, my love, this looks wonderful," she told her son gratefully. He quickly ran away and came back with another little plate with some crackers and cheddar. Trevor carried a glass of soda for her.

"Thanks guys, you're the best… sorry if I was a little grumpy before, I didn't mean to be."

"That's okay, Mommy," Noah climbed up on to the couch just as Trevor took a seat beside Olivia. "Here," Trevor held his arms out so Noah could climb in to his lap so that Olivia had room to eat.

Trevor turned the TV and let Noah choose between two cartoons. Olivia looked at her man and smiled. "You're so kind to me and I was just a total jack-a"

"Liv, its okay. I can tell when something's going on. What happened between you and Jen?"

She shook her head, "nothing, actually, Jen was perfect, it's me, it's my own head. I just saw you carrying Noah over to me when we arrived back and Jen and I talked about the relationship you and Noah have already and I just…. Found it a little a hard to breathe," she admitted.

"I thought we talked about this last night, sorry," he paused, thinking maybe she hadn't finished talking it out before they had moved on to other things. "I didn't mean to try to shut you up by…"

A smile crossed her mouth as her cheeks heated up, "Trevor, I think I could talk about it around the clock but I'm still gonna get filled with anxiety about it."

He winced, "do you want me to back off?"

"No," she shook her head, frustrated with herself, "I don't want that and I wish I wasn't so frustrating, I just …" she pushed herself to say what she wanted to say out loud, "I just I guess I need constant assurance and I'm so sorry to be that woman."

He could see how much it pained her to tell him. "Olivia, its okay," he said gently, reaching over, cupping her face in his hand, "you're allowed to ask for re-assurance, that's all you have to say. It's okay, Noah and I are good, we love hanging out, don't we Noah?"

Noah looked up at Trevor, unaware of what he was talking about. "Mmhmm," he agreed. Trevor laughed. "Did you hear what I asked, munchkin?"

He gave his attention to his Mom and Trevor, "What?"

"I said, you and I love hanging out together, don't we? We love hanging out feeding the animals in the morning and then getting on the bike and going to Uncle Joe's to see what Olly and the girls are doing and then we like to light the fire and today we helped pick some of the berries for Mommy, didn't we?"

Noah nodded happily.

"Do you love Trevor, too, babe?," she asked her son.

Noah nodded again, "Yeah! I love Trevor!"

Olivia smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, sweetheart."

"See?" Trevor asked Liv, "no problems, we adore each other and we have you in common because we both love you so much."

"I love you both too," Olivia replied. "I'm just scared that he's gonna drop the D-A-D word any minute and I don't know what I'm going to do about that."

"I tell you what I'm going to do about that," Trevor replied. Olivia wondered what would come out of his mouth and whether or not she was going to like it.

"What?"

"Absolutely nothing," Trevor said with a shrug. "I'm ready for it. And I don't take it lightly and I'm not going anywhere and I don't care if you're not so sure, because I'm sure enough about you and I for both of us. So when he drops it, I won't make a big deal out of it, but I will not correct him unless you feel very strongly about it."

Olivia didn't know what to say. "I think…" she stopped, furrowing her brow, thinking about the situation that could occur, "I think I'm gonna leave the navigation of that relationship up to you both," she said at last, "I am going to stop freaking out — or at least try."

"Good," Trevor replied, "let me worry about the things that you can't control. You can't control when Noah says that word or how he feels, he is too little to understand the weight of it, but I'm not and I understand and I will feel both incredibly honoured and incredibly ready for the responsibility and I've been ready to be a parent for a very long time, Olivia, you need to know that."

She nodded. "I'm just really scared," she admitted, blinking back her tears.

He slipped an arm around her and kissed her temple. "You don't need to be scared, I promise."

"Okay," she cleared her throat.

"Truthfully," Trevor began, "this morning when we were feeding the piglets, he dropped it over his shoulder, calling me to look at Maple doing spins when she saw him."

"What?! Seriously?"

"Yeah, it was unexpected, he said, 'D-a-d-d-y, quick come and look at Maple,'" Trevor admitted, "I thought something was wrong with her so I didn't have time to react to the word, I just went to see the piglet and then when I realised everything was fine, it sunk in and … I let it go."

He saw tension fill Olivia's face. "Breathe, it's okay," he warned her, "it's totally okay, look at us, we're still fine, nobody has a broken heart, nobody is upset, we're all fine and so are you."

She nodded, swallowing. She wasn't hungry, suddenly. Trevor could tell. He took the bowls from her and placed them on the coffee table beside the couch. "Come here, I know you're freaking out, but you don't need to."

"I'm just scared I'm being a terrible Mom," she murmured, turning her body toward him, slipping her arms around him, behind Noah's back. Her little boy turned, feeling the shift of their body's.

"Mommy, don't be sad," he warned her, "why are you sad?"

"Mommy just loves you and wants you to be happy."

"Mommy, don't be sad, I am big happy!," he told Liv, wrapping his arms around her too.

Olivia tried not to cry as she enjoyed her little family holding her tightly. "Tell Mommy how much you love her," Trevor prompted Noah.

"I love you bigger than forever, Mommy!" Noah exclaimed excitedly, "as big as the whole world!"

Olivia managed a laugh, sniffing. She kissed her son's forehead. "I love you so much, kiddo. The world isn't even big enough to fit how much I love you." She kissed his cheek.

"And I love the both of you more than you can know," Trevor replied. "You both make me so, so, so happy, you're both so special and I am so happy you're both here at the farm with me."

"I wanna live here forever," Noah remarked. It was the third or fourth time he'd said so, but Olivia knew that it was still a novelty and that maybe with time he'd get bored. She did notice though, that he wasn't at all interested in screen time and that was a huge win for her.

"One day," Liv replied to him, "but for right now, we still live in Manhattan and the farm is a place we will come sometimes."

"Sometimes is perfect," Trevor added. He kissed Olivia's lips. "Perfect like you and you," he said to Noah, kissing his warm forehead.

Noah giggled and wiped his forehead, slipping down to a more comfortable position. Suddenly Olivia felt calm again. It didn't matter what Noah called Trevor, it didn't matter because he wasn't leaving her or Noah.

Olivia picked at her snack again and was a little surprised to realise Noah was asleep in Trevor's lap. She smiled to herself and breathed a content sigh. "I knew he was tired," she told Trevor, "I could tell the second he asked if I had a surprise for him," she chuckled, "his eyes were drooping and he seemed a little sluggish."

"It was a big morning, we played catch with the other kids and Joe then they wanted to race each other up and down the paddock, he and Olly are crazy."

Olivia laughed. "I think its great, sometimes he doesn't get the chance to run that energy off at home and bounces off the walls and drives me crazy."

"When we get home, you just have to tell me when you want me to come and take him to the park so you can get ten minutes…."

"When we get home can you come and stay at my place more?," she asked, "like a lot more?"

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah, watch out, you'll never get rid of me."

"That's okay with me," Olivia replied. "We need you around… you even us both out." Trevor kissed her.

She slowly got up from the couch and scooped Noah up from his lap. "Can you come upstairs? I want to show you what I bought while I was out with Jen…"

Trevor got up and watched Liv place Noah back down gently on the couch. He stirred a little but curled in to a ball facing the back of the couch.

Trevor followed Olivia up the stairs to the bedroom where he had placed her bags for her when they got back in. "Come here…" he told her, kissing her lips softly as she stood with her back to the bed. She slid her arms around his waist, enjoying his comfort. "I love you so much and I am so happy you had a nice time with Jen…" he smiled, pushing a wisp of hair from her face, "that means a lot to me."

A question had weighed on her mind a little since chatting with Jen at the cafe. For her own sake of understanding, she needed to ask and she was concerned about the response. "Trev, can I ask you something that I don't know that you're going to want to answer…"

"Sure… what is it?," he wondered.

"Just a few things Jen has said to me …I know you guys were close friends before she got with Joe, that you used to stay at her house a lot and vice versa — did you love her? Or … did you have feelings that you had to push away when Joey ended up with her? Like…" she paused, avoiding looking at him, "is she someone that you-"

"Sit," he commanded gently, gesturing to the mattress behind her.

She did as he asked, still, avoiding his eyes. "Baby, I don't have and didn't have feelings for Jen and she didn't have any for me, I promise."

"It just seems weird that — you were both so close and yet there were no kisses or -"

"It was brotherly love," he replied, "I actually had a girlfriend when Jen and I became friends. I dunno, I felt for her, she was always sitting alone and she didn't have the right clothes and she never had lunch and I saw kids picking on her so I stepped in because I was cool by default of my brother and I knew if I told people to leave her alone they'd be nicer." he explained.

Olivia sighed, feeling a little annoying for even asking.

"My girlfriend was so mean to her so I dumped her and truthfully, I think I was a dork like Jen. We both loved books and I just told my Mom about her so Mom invited her over and made me take her lunch every day and then when I realised how bad her home life was…"

"Oh. You were just being a good person."

He shrugged, "I wanted to be her friend because no one else wanted to be and because we had stuff in common and I couldn't really understand why she didn't have any. She was so nice."

"I feel like an ass," Olivia sighed. "She was just telling me about—" she paused, "Fuck, I don't even want to say it now because I feel like a complete asshole now that I'm saying it out loud."

"Its okay Liv, we have feelings based on past treatment so if you're feeling insecure, I told you you can tell me and I will assure you."

"She told me about how you prevented her from getting assaulted by her Mom's boyfriend again. That she stayed a lot with you and if her Mom had a new boyfriend or someone she didn't feel safe around, you'd stay there and that just sounds so close and I guess I know what teenagers are like."

"Honey, between you and I, Jen was the least sexual teenager I'd ever met, maybe in that area she was a bit stunted because of home life, but it all just grossed her out and after she was assaulted there was nothing she wanted to do less than have sex and I was relieved because I didn't feel like that and I knew my brother had a huge crush on her."

"For a second I thought maybe you fell in love with her and she liked your brother and then my brain ran away with this thought that she was the one that got away and maybe I was a good runner-up prize."

Trevor laughed, not spitefully, just at the silliness of her thought. "Olivia…" he breathed with a smile, "you are the only one on my radar… you're my first and only choice."

"Thanks Trevor, for not thinking I'm insane."

"Oh, I do think you're insane," he teased, "but I wouldn't have you any other way. I love that you have been so honest about your feelings, it makes things so much easier for me to console you and I don't mind it a bit."

She smiled at him, grateful for his light-heartedness and for his honesty too.

He gave her a lingering hug and kissed her lips again. "Okay, show me what you bought…"

Olivia showed Trevor some of the things she'd bought for Noah. Better floats for the pool and some new swimming trunks. She'd bought Trevor a business shirt for work and some underwear for herself as she'd only planned on staying for four or so days at the most.

"Show me these under-thingies," he smirked, nodding to her lingerie bag.

"No…" she replied as he snatched it from her hands and held it up high above his head where she had no hope of reaching. He smirked at her. "Trevor Langan, if you don't give that back to me, I swear you will never see any of my underwear again."

"Interesting, does that mean you'll come to bed naked every night?," he laughed cheekily.

"It'll be because I will never ever show them to you or what's under them… so you have the count of three…"

He handed them back to her, causing a smile to spread across her own mouth. "That's what I thought…" she snatched the bag back. "This is for me…"

"Not even a peep?," he asked, puckering his lower lip out, mocking a look of hurt.

Olivia reached in to the bag with a little smile and pulled out a sheer, white bra with a deep cleavage and half-cups that were covered in very flimsy lace. He took it from her, suddenly going very quiet as his eyes lingered over the fabric. He ran his thumb over the lace and cleared his dry throat, imagining her curves filling out each cup very generously.

"Do you like it?," she asked softly, thinking maybe there was something wrong with it, or that maybe he wasn't really a fan of white.

"Uh… y…yep, it's actually perfect," he chuckled, "did you get some panties to match?," he wanted to know. He made eye contact, his pupils had dilated and the smile on his face was almost too sexy to resist.

"Yeah… I got some panties to match," she replied, staring at his lips, trying to peel her eyes away from them. "I don't imagine they'll stay on long with this… hot weather…" she gave a little shrug, knowing exactly what she was doing. Her lingering words, full of intent were like lightning bolts between his legs, sending his erection charging with need for her.

It wasn't an ideal time though, not with Noah sleeping lightly just downstairs.

"Oooft, you better stop…" he murmured, handing her the lace bra back. "This isn't the time — I wish it was the time, but it's not the time," he told her regretfully. He watched her bite her lower lip with reluctance.

"We're gonna have to get creative, not everything can be a long, drawn-out event with a four year old in the house or in the apartment."

"You're right," he agreed, "but you can just let me worry about that, you better put this underwear away before I start expecting you to model it for me…"

She chuckled. "Okay but at least kiss me," she demanded.

"It'd be rude not to at this point," he replied, stepping closer, enjoying the playful moment between them. Their eyes locked and as usual, whenever he was about to kiss her, she felt her breathing slow along with her concept of time. He closed his eyes and let out an exhalation of air before their lips connected and a gentle warmth spread between them.

Olivia immediately sank in to his embrace as his arms found their way around her, securing her, making every little silly thought and feeling that she'd been worried about, fall away. He moved a hand up behind her neck, tenderly running his fingers over the skin at her nape and pulled her close. She circled an arm around his strong, broad back. He probed her mouth open with his tongue; exploring. With every stroke of his tongue, the kiss deepened.

Every sluggish movement between the two seemed to amplify the connection between them. His lips worked against hers with urgency before backing off again, enjoying the feel of every contour of their plumpness. She was starting to feel a little dizzy with anticipation. He loosened his grip and let his other hand ran along the curve of her back. She shivered beneath the material, responding to every inch of her that he touched.

He broke the kiss, both of them heaving for air, glancing at each other, captivated by the look of longing and desire in her eyes. It was hard to ignore and he really didn't want to.

He pulled her back against him; pulling her body flush against him. Trevor picked up where he had left off but he knew he had to stop. He snaked his hands around to her face, taking her cheeks in his hands, tilting her face upward to meet him as he reluctantly parted his mouth from hers.

"I'm finding it really difficult to not want to lay in bed kissing you for hours on end…" he admitted.

"Me too…" she sighed, drawing him near, wrapping her arms back around him, resting her head on his chest. He held her close for a few minutes. She could hear the thumping of his heartbeat calming down. "I love you so much, Trev, thanks for … being so wonderful."

"You make it all feel so easy," he replied, burying his lips in her hair.

She released him, not wanting to let go but not trusting herself if she didn't.

She sat back down on the bed and began to take her things out of the bags. "You bought a lot of clothes and stuff for Noah. Do you ever buy anything for yourself?," he wondered.

"Like what?" Liv asked, glancing up at him. He helped her pulling tags off things, sprawling out on his made-up bed. He gave a shrug, "I don't know… whatever you want. Surely, there's some stuff you've seen and thought, 'oh, I would like that…'"

"Yeah, but I'm too busy for things, I would rather buy things for Noah. He gets to enjoy them and on down time, I get to enjoy things with him…" she replied.

"Next time you go to town with Jen, you should buy something for yourself…"

She held up the lingerie bag that was now resting in her open suitcase. "I did, I bought underwear."

"Well, I'm glad that you classify it as something you bought for yourself and not necessarily for my benefit," he replied.

"I like nice underwear, its the one thing I have that makes me feel like I haven't been completely unsexy and unattractive…"

He smiled, "you've never been unattractive or unsexy to me… even way before we weren't dating, I would find it sexy when you'd cut people down to size," he laughed at himself.

Olivia smirked at him. "At least you thought so," she replied. "But really, I can't think of something I want to buy."

"What if I saw something and wanted to buy it for you, is that okay?"

She gave him a smile. "You don't have to buy me anything, Trev, I don't need anything. What's your obsession with wanting me to spend money?"

He laughed, "It's just that I think you don't treat yourself, you are always so busy thinking of everyone else. You even bought me a shirt for work while you were out-"

"And some pajamas," she added with a little smile, noticing his face change from confusion to amusement, "its the absolute sweetest thing about you, but I would like you to put you first sometimes."

She shrugged, "I do put me first sometimes, actually I kind of took it for granted and made plans with Jen tomorrow night if that's okay with you to babysit Noah for me."

"Its not babysitting if I'm taking on a fatherly role, right?," he asked, testing the waters to see how she would react to his comment.

"I guess not," she replied.

"So what are you guys going to do?," he asked. She loved that there wasn't an interrogation - that he didn't even have to think about it.

"Well, we thought we might get one of you guys to drop us in to town and we'd go to dinner and there's a fancy cocktail bar that Jen said she's wanted to go and hang out at for awhile but… obviously with limited friends and with a bunch of kids, it's a little hard."

Trevor grinned at her, "so you guys gonna get wasted, or…?"

"Mmmm, I'm not sure. Will a taxi come so far as to drop us off here?," she wondered thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure, but I'll come and pick you guys up. Joey and I can either hang out here or hang out over there, but either way, I will pick you up regardless of the time. I don't even care if its 4am…"

"I don't think it'll get that crazy."

Trevor shrugged, "as long as you're safe and Jen is safe, you guys should absolutely go and have fun for a night. I think it's a fantastic idea and I love that Jen is so excited to have a friend in you."

"Me too," Olivia replied.

She looked around at the stuff on the bed and started to fold it in to a neat pile. "I guess I should think about getting my bikini on."

"You don't have to take the girls swimming just cos they asked, Liv."

"No, I think I'd like to. I dunno what it's like to have little girls in my life, besides some limited babysitting of Jesse Rollins, I haven't had a lot of experience and its about the first time the girls have taken any interest in me."

"I think they take longer than Olly to warm up, they're really attached to Jen and Joe."

"I can see that, but its nice and they are so cute and look so much like you and Joey and I can't help but to think…" she let her voice trailed off.

"What?," he pushed with a little smile.

"I guess… what it'd be like if you and I had a little girl, like would she look like her cousins?" Olivia wondered.

"The Langan genetics are strong, look at all those sets of green eyes…" he smiled, "but you showed me pictures of you as a little girl and I would not be disappointed if our kid was to look like her Mommy."

Olivia chuckled, her smile broadening at the idea of an infant shared with Trevor. "It's too early for us to be thinking about this stuff…"

"Says society," Trevor replied, "we can think about and talk about whatever we want, when we want, nobody is the boss of us."

"That is true and also, a very sexy thing to say to the clucky Mom inside of me," she laughed.

Trevor laughed too, "I'm a total wimpy clucky old guy."

"You're not even 40 yet, you're a good Dad age. Also you'd make the absolute hottest Dad ever… when I see you with Noah I'm torn between thinking I should create some distance between the two of you or wanting to put him to bed then I can take you to bed and fuck you stupid."

"Wow, Liv… stop it!" He laughed with surprise at her bluntness.

She grinned at him. "I'm going to put my bikini on, you'll be okay to rub some sun cream in, won't you? And then stay with Noah til he wakes up?"

He chuckled. "I fucking love you, you sexy little thing."

/

"Livvy!" Jamie cried, "I'm gonna jump!," she announced, standing on the edge of the bridge that crossed the pool. Olivia grinned at her. She had little muscle floats on either arm and a pair of goggles over her dark, braided hair — her hair sticking to the sides of her face.

"Hold on, let me make sure Jazz is okay," she turned around to the almost identical little girl, "grab on to my shoulder's sweetheart," she told her. She felt the tiny grasp of the toddler holding on to her.

She glanced up at Jamie and smiled, "Okay pumpkin, when you're ready!" Jamie counted to three and jumped off the edge, falling in to the water feet first with minimal splash. Olivia laughed happily, grabbing the little girl and pulling her to the surface of the water. "Wow!," she remarked, "you are so brave! That was such a high jump!"

The loud giggles of the little girl warmed her. She couldn't stop smiling. She reached behind her and took Jazz's hand, bringing each girl to a hip each. "Are you guys having fun?," Olivia asked.

The both nodded and excitedly. "I'm have a great time with you both as well, you are both so brave and courageous…" she told them seriously, "but remember you can only do this when an adult is watching, okay? You can't just jump off the edge when you're on your own."

"I'll watch for you to catch me Livvy!" Jazz told her.

Olivia smiled, "perfect, you can wait for me or for Mommy or Daddy or Uncle Trevor…"

"How's it all going in here?" Trevor asked, standing on the other side of the pool gate.

The girls swam to the edge of the pool to see their uncle who grinned at them and waved. Olivia grinned back. "We're having lots of fun…" Olivia told him. "Where's Noah?"

"He's inside with Olly. They've all decided to play some car racing game on the Nintendo, Jen is helping them and Jason is pretty excited about beating a 4 and 5 year old." He chuckled. "So, I thought I'd come out and hang out with my favourite girls…"

"Uncle Trev, you can swim!" Jazz told him.

"I can!," he grinned. "I can come and hang out with Livvy and you both!"

"Are you sure its okay if Noah stays in there with them?"

"Yeah," Trevor smiled, "I asked if he wanted to swim and he said no, he wanted to play video games." He let himself inside the pool gate and pulled his shirt over his head and without a word, dove in to the pool.

Olivia loved to see his beautiful curls slicked back by the water when he resurfaced. He reappeared from beside her and his nieces. "Hi babies!" He greeted them, sputtering water over them, making them squeal. Jazz shrieked, "No! Don't get us!," she warned him.

Trevor knew exactly that they wanted him to play. "I am!," he threatened with a big grin, "I am gonna get you!," he told Jazz, "and you" They both jumped away from Olivia and swam, squealing with delight as their uncle chased after them.

"Come back here!," he demanded in a silly voice, letting them get away from him, pretending desperately to struggle to reach them as they paddled off as fast as they could to the more shallow end of the pool. Olivia watched with a big grin as he reached Jamie first and pulled her toward him, before reaching Jazz, pulling her in too.

He drew them both in to his body, covering their little joyful faces in kisses and raspberries until their giggles grew in to loud shrieks.

He let them calm down, knowing that Jen and Joe tried to discourage shrill shrieking, especially when they were in the pool, it was a fine line between playing and needing help.

Olivia laughed as he drew them back in the water. "I wanna go back to auntie Livvy!" Jazz complained. Trevor released her and she held her hands out for the taller of the twins to reach her.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Liv asked, "you nearly got away from Uncle Trevor…"

"Nearly!" Trevor exclaimed, "never! Not on my watch!"

Olivia got the water raft out and sat the girls on it and she and Trevor pulled them around the pool for a little while, threatening once so often to capsize them.

Olivia had a better sense for the tell-tale signs of weariness in the three year olds. Jamie was tired first, her shrieks of glee turned quickly for whining for her uncle to stop tormenting her. Olivia pulled her off the float and toward her body. "I'll keep you safe from Uncle Trev," she promised, "we might even hop out of the water and go and rest in the chair together with a warm towel, what do you think?," she asked.

"I don't want to, I want to play," she murmured, her voice on the edge of tears.

Trevor watched Olivia with a little look of love filling his face. "I understand," she replied, "but how about just a quick rest, we'll leave Uncle Trev and Jazz and you and I can go have a quick, quick, quick rest and then you'll feel full of beans again ready to jump back in the pool and this time you'll have enough energy to get him."

She smiled at the toddler who looked at her curiously before nodding slowly in agreement. Jazz looked up, "I wanna have a quick rest too because I want to get Uncle Trevor!" She informed them.

Olivia smiled and pulled the second girl off of the float, winking at Trevor.

"Good!," he said loudly, "I'll have the pool all to myself!" He hoisted himself up on to the float and rested back on it, tucking both hands behind his head with a smug smile on his face.

"Uncle Trevor is gonna be so tired," Olivia told the girls, so when you've had your rest and he hasn't had his you guys are gonna be able to get him!"

"Yeahhh," Jazz giggled, "Silly Uncle Trevor."

Olivia helped the girls out of the pool and then got out after them. She ushered them over to the deck chair and wrapped them in their towels. She sat down and put her sun glasses on and wrapped a towel around her waist. Both girls cuddled in to her on the chair, each child flanked against her, squeezing in to the spot. It felt nice, Olivia couldn't deny, having too sweet little girls vying for her attention.

It made he realise just how much she wasn't done with her own vision of family.

"Okay girls, let's close our eyes and see who can keep their eyes closed the longest without opening them," she told them both. She heard Trevor chuckling to himself.

"What do we win?" Jazz asked.

"You win the prize of having more energy than Uncle Trevor."

/

Trevor made sure the umbrella was covering the girls who all napped on the deck chair. He took a few photos and sent them to Jen. Less than a few minutes later, Jen appeared to see for herself. She laughed at how sweet the sight was.

"Poor Liv, that looks so uncomfortable. I should take them inside to nap in bed."

"They're okay, Liv looks happy…" he said quietly. They decided to let them be for awhile.

Trevor laid in the opposite chair and read a book while they slept.

/

Olivia laid her head back on the bath pillow she'd bought when she was out with Jen, thinking about the bath that she was dying to take. She didn't have a big enough tub at her own apartment and Trevor's tub had proved to have everything that hers didn't including a jet.

After dinner Trevor had surprised her with a small table beside the bath with a glass of vodka and soda and a bath bomb she could only imagine he got when he'd been to town briefly with his brother the afternoon before.

It was so sweet. She grabbed the glass and stirred the bendy straw a little and took a sip.

She heard a bang followed by her son howling. She heard footsteps moving fast along the floorboards. She sat up, "Noah?" She called, ready to jump out of the bath and grab her towel.

"Its okay!" Trevor called back. She listened hard as the howls got louder.

"I'm coming!," she yelled.

"I've got it," Trevor called. She sighed as she heard her son's cries. They got louder as footsteps grew closer.

"Can we come in for a second, Mommy?"

"Sure…" she called. Trevor was cuddling Noah, "see look, Mommy is just trying to have a bath, bubba," he kissed his forehead and pushed his curls out of his eyes. "You're okay, I promise."

"What happened?" Olivia asked.

"He tripped up the last step," he explained, "didn't you?"

Noah nodded. He rubbed the red mark where Noah had bumped his head. "You're okay kiddo, just a little bump," he told him, "that naughty step!"

The little boy wiped his eyes.

"Honey, its okay," she told Noah, "You're lucky Trev was with you to give you a big hug that I'll bet stopped the pain, right?"

Noah nodded and sniffled. Trevor smiled and kissed his forehead again. "You'll be okay." He glanced at Olivia, "sorry for interrupting, Mommy, that was my fault, I wasn't with him."

"Its okay, Trev, you can't be by his side around the clock especially when he's just living life."

"Babe, maybe Trevor can help you in the shower while Mommy sits in the bath, wouldn't that be funny? You could be the grown up having the grown up shower," she told him.

Noah managed a little giggle. Trevor laughed too. "After the shower we could put the new pajamas on that Mommy bought for you."

"And for you and me too," she told him with a smile, getting that he wasn't too keen on them.

"Will I go in that shower?," Noah asked, pointing to the shower recess behind Trevor's shoulder.

"Sure, you could do that…" Olivia nodded. "Babe, why don't you go back to your room and get the pajamas that Mommy put on your bed and get a pair of underpants from your bag, think you can do that?"

Noah nodded. Trevor set him down and watched him leave the bathroom. "Is that okay? I didn't even ask, are you comfortable with that?"

"Liv, he's barely four years old, it's totally fine," he assured her. "He can't really shower on his own, can he?"

"He could, but he'd probably just stand under the water and complain about it. I haven't made him shower since he was very little and I probably didn't have a choice about it given that there's no one to watch him for ten minutes."

Trevor leaned over and kissed her. "Are you sure you don't want to just relax in here on your own for a bit?"

She leaned over and picked up her phone. "No, it's almost 6:30, he should probably be getting ready for sleep soon, or at least winding down."

"Okay, I'll go make sure he's got his stuff together," he said, "you relax, or at least try."

Olivia picked up her drink and had a long mouthful. She took a deep breath and let it out slow and let herself sink beneath beneath the surface of the water. She lay for a second, enjoying the warmth of the bath tub before she resurfaced again. She slicked back her hair and finished her drink.

Trevor returned with Noah and got his towel ready. Olivia handed Noah his wash cloth from the bath and his roll on soap, she was trying hard to teach him how to wash himself properly.

Olivia smiled to herself as Trevor set the water temperature for Noah and helped him get ready to get beneath the water. "I'm having a shower like a big boy, Mommy!," Noah jumped up and down excitedly.

Both adults laughed at his excitement. "I know! I can see!"

Trevor opened the shower door and let him the shower recess. "Okay munchkin, in you get…" Noah reluctantly stepped in to the water and winced as it rained down on him. He stepped in to the corner away from the spray. Trevor chuckled and disrobed and got in to the shower, adjusting the spray as low as it would go after briefly letting the water run over him.

"Is that okay, Noah? Is the water too cold or too hot?," he asked.

"I don't like it, it's like rain," he complained.

Trevor grinned at him, "I thought you wanted to be a grown up," he replied. He took his hand, "here, come stand beneath the water with me.

Noah reluctantly took Trevor's hand. "Ready?" Trevor began, "After three, 1, 2, 3!" He pulled Noah beneath the spray, adjusting it again higher, throwing caution to the wind and picking him up, knowing he was pulling away again. "Woohoo! Its bathroom rain!," he told Noah, smoothing back the little boy's wet hair as Noah clamped his eyes shut with a frown.

Olivia couldn't help but to laugh to herself. She picked up her phone and took a few photos, loving how wonderful her man was with her son.

Trevor set him back down after he was satisfied that the little boy had been covered with water. He pushed the spray aside and helped Noah wipe the water from his face with the wash cloth. "Here," he gave the little boy some body wash in his hands from the pump. "Let's wash ourselves properly," he engaged him, showing him how to lather his arms and and his own chest and everywhere else. "And guess what? After we do that," Trevor told him, "we take this…" he took the shower spray out of the holder and sprayed his body with it, "we rinse all the soap off…"

"Are you ready? I'll spray it off you."

"Okay," Noah replied reluctantly, "but not my face, I don't like it when Mommy gets soap in my eyes!"

Trevor smiled at him, "I promise not to get soap in your eyes… you can close them if you like,"

Noah closed his eyes again while Trevor rinsed all the soap off of the four year old and tried hard not to chuckle as his face screwed up in disgust for the water that rained over him. "Do we need a hair wash Mom, or are we good?" Trevor asked Olivia.

"No!" Noah protested, "no hair wash! That has to be in the bath!"

Olivia hid her smile, "He'll probably just end up in the pool again tomorrow, it'll be fine for tonight."

Trevor laughed at her flawed logic. "Okay, no hair wash," he agreed. He pulled the spray away from Noah who eventually opened his eyes. "Are we finished?," he asked.

"Yeah bubba, we're finished, but you can stay here for a few minutes and play under the water if you like."

Suddenly the idea of playing under the shower spray seemed fun and not annoying.

Trevor gave his own hair and beard a quick wash and cleaned his face with his face cleanser and got out of the shower, wiping himself down, not noticing Olivia watching him with a little smile. He wrapped the white towel around his waist and glanced over at her sipping her drink looking a little smug.

"What are you smirking about over there?," he wanted to know.

"Nothing, you're just a bit of a dilf…" she laughed in spite of herself.

He widened his eyes in shock and laughed. "Olivia! Stop it!"

"I can't help it, you're just very attractive when you're doing Dad stuff… I mean," she shrugged, putting her glass up, "you're always attractive, but right now?… Oooft."

"Stop it, you animal! Your son is in the shower!," he hissed as Olivia snickered to herself.

They both laughed. He used a face towel to dry his beard and his hair before setting it back up to on the hanger to dry out.

"Are you ready to come out, Noah?," he asked, sticking his head in the door. He was busy holding his hands up to the sky, feeling the water trickle on to them, closing his eyes and letting it wet his face. He didn't seem to mind now that it was on his own terms.

"Noooo not yet! Soon!," he told Trevor.

Olivia wondered if she should give him a few pointers, she knew if he had his way, he would stand in the shower all night unless Trevor gave him some guidelines. She just waited and watched him brush his hair and his beard. "Can you help me trim my beard a little later?," he asked.

"Yeah, of course…" she smiled.

She was about to suggest that he tell Noah that it was time to jump out, but he got there first. "Bubba," he told him opening the door, "I don't want you in there all night, you'll run out of water," he smiled gently at the little boy, "so I think you've got three more minutes and then it's time to get out and in to pajamas."

Olivia smiled with satisfaction as she heard her son agree.

She loved his pet name for Noah, everything about their relationship was feeling far less scary than it had earlier.

Trevor came and sat on the edge of the bath. "I feel like we totally crashed your relaxing bath time," he told her regretfully, reaching over and caressing her hair.

"You didn't, it was nice to have family bath time," she smiled, "I like that you never hesitate with Noah, you don't feel like you have to ask me a million questions and this whole parenting thing seems to come very naturally."

He stared at her with adoration. "Thanks for saying that… sometimes I wonder if I am overstepping or if I've done something right… and I just try to look to what you do, or I think about what I think you'd do and how you'd want me to handle it."

"That's lovely, Trev… I love you for that, really. You're gonna be a good role model for Noah, I mean — you already are."

"Thanks baby." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Would you like a refill?," he asked picking up her glass.

"I'll get out first or else I'll probably drown," she joked.

"Okay, I'll get this little one out of the shower and we'll give you a little bit of time alone."

/

Olivia smiled to see that Trevor had laid out her new pajamas on the bed. They were black pajamas with cartoon piglets on them. Olivia saw them and laughed so much over how perfect they were when Jen had alerted her to the fact that there were matching sets in children and mens.

She put her underwear on and pulled the pajama pants on — warm cotton material felt nice against her skin. She pulled the matching t-shirt length t-shirt on with it, knowing that despite it being summer and the weather being warm, it was always cold when Trevor had the air conditioner on.

She made her way downstairs and could hear Trevor and Noah singing in the kitchen. She couldn't help but to grin. "You know this one, I know you do, I've heard you…" Trevor encouraged him.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…."

Olivia felt a burst of feelings within her as the sound of her man and her little boy singing together, filled her with warmth and love for them both. She stood and listened for a moment and recorded them from the doorway, careful not to show herself.

She sent the video to Amanda and put the phone in the pocket of her pajama pants. "Beautiful singing in here, my two favourite rockstars. Look at you both in your matching pajamas."

Trevor laughed, he was wearing the same pants as hers. Noah was sitting on the kitchen counter a safe distance from the stove while Trevor cooked dinner. "What's for dinner, Trev?"

"Daddy is making food for me!" Noah told her making Olivia do a double take. She nearly choked. She stared at her son, her mouth agape. She drew in a deep breath and let it go, she had promised herself to let it happen if it was going to happen. Trevor was okay with it, nobody else was freaking out.

"You're very lucky, aren't you?," she asked him, "that …you're getting special food?"

She felt Trevor's arm around her waist as he tossed some vegetables in a pain. He gave her a little squeeze. "You good?," he asked.

She nodded, wanting him to know that she was genuinely okay with it. "I like that we're all wearing matching pjs," she told him as she looked up at him with a little smile.

Trevor smiled back and kissed her lips. He leaned over to the opposite side of the stove from where Noah was sitting and grabbed the fresh vodka he had made up for her. "Here you go…"

She took it from him and thanked him. Trevor kissed her again. "What other vegetables will he eat? He said he doesn't like carrot…"

"He is fibbing, he will eat it. He will eat most vegetables despite what he says."

"Noah, come on, why don't you come and sit at the table, dinner is almost ready." She went to lift him off but he protested.

"No! No! No! I wanna stay here so I can watch Daddy cook."

She wondered what had suddenly triggered her son to call Trevor his father. She tried so hard to let it go. "I'm just about to put it on your plate…" Trevor promised. He tossed some cooked spaghetti in to the pan with the vegetables and coated it the sparse sauce that sat in the bottom of the pan.

"You are so lucky, Noah, that looks so good." She pushed herself to use the words, "Daddy made this special just for you."

Olivia looked at the second pot on the stove top, trying to figure out what was in it. She saw a red sauce that he'd made and figured he planned on putting it over the rest of the pasta since Noah hated any kind of dressing or sauce. Olivia had to keep things very simple.

Trevor beamed to himself at hearing Olivia say the words out loud that he knew she had been struggling with. "I did, I made it special for him, but I'm also making something special for you too, Mom…"

Olivia smiled, "we are both lucky, Noah…"

Noah nodded in agreement.

Trevor filled a small plate, putting the spaghetti to one side and the vegetables on the other.

"If you eat all of this or as much as you can, I may have a special dessert treat," he told Noah.

"Ooooh what is it?" Noah asked, excited.

"Its a surprise, silly," Trevor told him with a laugh, "you have to eat your dinner to find out."

Olivia took Noah's plate and put it on the table. She lifted her son off the counter top and slotted him in to the chair at the table with the booster seat. "Okay babe, here's. Your fork…"

"Thanks Mommy," he murmured. "Are you going to eat with me?"

"Yes, Mommy is going to take a seat too and Mommy and my dinner will be ready in just a second."

Olivia grabbed her drink and paused to kiss Trevor. "Thank you," she murmured.

"For?"

"For being you. And I love you with all of me."

He smiled and kissed her back. "You just make it so easy and so does Noah…. This feels good and perfect."

She nodded. "And dinner looks amazing too."

"I hope so, I followed Jen's directions."

Trevor placed their plates down and joined both of his family at the table. "How is your dinner Noah? Do you like it?" Trevor wondered as the little boy held a piece of broccoli in one hand and a few noodles in the other, disregarding his fork completely.

"Sometimes its easier to get more food with our hands, huh?" Olivia asked him. With his mouthful, Noah nodded, pushing another bit of broccoli in.

"Remember, small bites and chew slowly," Trevor reminded him, "we're not in a race."

Olivia just smiled and twirled some pasta on her fork, happy about getting to eat a simple and tasty meal. And it was tasty. "This is really good," she smiled, "wow… credit to you, but wow, Jen has a good recipe."

"I know, right?" Trevor asked, "it was so easy!"

"It's delicious, baby, thanks for the effort."

Trevor reached over and took Olivia's hand, holding it while he ate. He just adored her so much.