Thanks for waiting for my update, guys. I know some of us are such incredible humans that we manage to work and look after our families and take care of our hobbies AND still manage to update fics in a time span that they have assigned within their head (as per one of the lovely commenters who I know is here to shit-stir for no reason) but that's just not me. Besides working full time - long hours and having to just live life, sometimes I don't ACTUALLY want to be on my computer writing. Sometimes I'd like to stare blithely at my Nintendo for 10 hrs on the weekend. But just so you all know, the reason I havent updated has nothing to do with the above; I currently have a severe lung infection and have been narrowly avoiding hospital for oxygen reasons bc i live with a debilitating and failing respiratory system and nothing makes a person with shitty vital organs sicker than a lung infection.

SO, on that note, to those who left me lovely, quality and kind private messages and comments after my last update, please know you are the bees knees and I love you all for being so kind. I think BITS has two chapters left. I am still very unwell, but will do what I can to get this finished ASAP. Please leave me any feed back on this that you feel like leaving and know that I have zero issue with constructive critisism, I just dont take too well to ppl trying to make me feel bad for no reason.

Have a great week (or two, or maybe three, shit, maybe a month we'll see how i feel).

As usual, I havent had the chance to update, its quite late and I'm tired. If you see any mistakes, no you didn't.


"Wait, wait, wait…" Trevor said softly in to the phone, "baby, just take a deep breath… I'm sorry I'm not there but you're okay, I promise," he soothed her, "just big, deep breaths… I'll hang up and call Angie to come sit with you, okay?"

"No…" Olivia replied tearfully, "no its okay, I'll be okay."

"No," Trevor said firmly, "I don't want you to be alone and we both know it was just a dream but if it's made you feel funny or you're worried Angela will be able to check you over and assure you and that might make you feel calmer."

"I know its nothing, it was just a dream, I woke up and wasn't fully lucid so I just freaked out, I'm sorry I woke you."

"Stop apologising, baby, I should be there with you but … this case is dragging and I told you to call me any time day or night. Are you okay to go and get yourself a glass of water and sit have a drink and calm down for a second?" Trevor asked her, frustrated that he wasn't there.

"Yeah…" she murmured, sniffing.

He could hear her voice shaking with tears. "Okay, I'm going to hang up and call Angela and I'm going to call you right back and I'll put you on face chat so I can talk to you until she gets there, okay?"

Olivia swallowed hard and wiped fresh tears that rolled down her cheeks. "Yeah…" she nodded despite the fact that he couldn't see her. "Trev, I'm sorry," she choked back a sob.

"No, no, don't be sorry love, please don't ever be sorry…"

"Okay," she murmured.

"Okay I'll call you back in a moment."

/

Olivia looked up to find Angela, she had heard the front door unlocking with the key that she had for emergencies. "Hey, Liv…"

"Angela there?" Trevor asked in to the camera. She nodded.

"Hi…" she waved miserably. Angela was wearing a pair of pink pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. She climbed on to the bed, putting a little bag down.

"Hi Trev, I'm here…" she smiled at her brother.

"Okay… do you still want to talk, Liv?"

Olivia shook her head, feeling embarrassed and a little ashamed that he had to call his sister. She just wiped her eyes. "No, I'm okay… "

"Okay, text me if you need to, any time, I promise its fine."

"Thanks," she sniffed. "I love you."

"I love you more, baby, sweet dreams. Goodnight Ange," he added before Olivia hung up and put her phone aside.

"Are you feeling okay physically?" Angela asked her gently.

"I think so, I just… had a really bad dream about the baby and about a work situation," she replied, "Trevor didn't need to call you, I'm sorry he got you out of bed."

"Don't be silly, I was laying there playing with my phone… trying to get sleepy." She crossed her legs sitting beside Olivia, "Are you still worried that something might be amiss."

"I'm always worried," she admitted, "but I think I'm okay…"

"Okay well, I'm gonna just put my doctor hat on for a moment, is that okay? Will you take me seriously?"

Olivia managed a little chuckle, "only if you actually have a doctor hat."

Angela laughed. She pulled her stethoscope out of her little bag and a mini blood pressure reader.

"Wow… you weren't kidding," Liv remarked.

"No… I'm completely serious and if for no other reason so you can rest-assured that baby is okay…"

"Thanks Ange…" Olivia murmured, becoming teary again.

She put her stethoscope around her neck and wrapped the blood pressure monitor around Olivia's arm and fixed the small pump to it and began to pump it up until she saw the small gauge in her hand reach 30. She put her stethoscope in her ears and slipped the flat disc beneath the cuff at the bend of Liv's elbow. Slowly, she deflated it, listening intently with a look of absolute concentration.

Olivia watched Angela do her job. After a few seconds she pulled the flat disc away and took off her stethoscope. "Your blood pressure is spot on, that's what we want," she smiled encouragingly as she pulled the cuff off.

"Okay, now baby's turn." Angela pulled out a baby heart beat monitor. It was a small hand-held gadget with a spot for ear phones which were already plugged in to it. "This is a baby monitor, we can hear the heartbeat with it," she explained to Liv, "so let me just have a quick listen—" she paused, "wait how many weeks did the doctor say you were again?"

"About to hit 21 weeks," Liv replied. "I really need to start telling people and organising work."

"Leave work at work for now, just stop stressing out." She turned the machine on and waited for a second. "Show me that tiny little baking baby…" Angela commanded, nodding toward Olivia's camisole.

She lifted her top slightly and showed Angela her pregnant belly that was just starting to get a noticeable swell. There was no hiding it anymore and only Sonny and Amanda knew about it back at work. Angela placed the monitor on her stomach and plugged the earphones in to her ears. She smiled to herself as she immediately heard the strong heart beat belonging to her brother and Olivia's child.

She took her earphones out and offered them to Olivia. "Here, have a listen…"

Liv took the earphones and smiled immediately too, her eyes began to water again. "Wow…" she breathed, "it's actually going to happen…" she laughed in spite of it, "I know that sounds dumb but every time I hear that noise coming from inside my belly its so… real."

Angela smiled. Olivia slowly gave her the earphones back.

"You're fine Liv, the baby is fine. You can just rest easy."

"Thanks, honey…," Olivia murmured. "I'm really lucky to have you," she smiled through her watering eyes, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze. "All of you, your brother's whole family…"

"Of course Liv, you make Trev so happy and you're such a wonderful person and you're carrying my niece or nephew…"

Olivia drew in a deep breath, "I just get a lot of really… really deep nightmares, you know?" She explained, feeling unable to stop weeping.

"Do you want to talk about them?," Ange asked softly, getting comfortable underneath the blankets, putting her bag of supplies beside the bed. "I'm gonna stay here with you tonight and other nights if you need until my brother gets back."

Olivia cleared her throat, trying very hard to be vulnerable. "I don't know if I can talk about it, honestly…"

"Okay," Ange replied, "well… I'm just gonna snuggle up to you and if you want to share anything…you can."

Olivia felt happy to feel Trevor's baby sister sidle up to her without any prompting, cuddling in exactly the way she imagined her own children might when they got older. She drew her in and was happy for the physical company which she knew would quash the negative thoughts and the intrusive dreams.

"Its just work stuff, there's things I can't unsee and now that I'm hormonal and … have a lot to lose its fucking with my head."

"I understand," Angela replied, "I really do, more than you know… for months … after Mom passed I used to have these nightmares where it was just all so preventable and in each dream I watch her die the same as it happened in reality… each dream is like trying to tell her everything I needed to tell her, sometimes I'm holding my own baby—" she stopped talking, "I dunno," she sighed, "but I understand, sleep doesn't come to me easily either…"

"We're just two peas in a pod…" Liv remarked, "but you can always talk to me too if you need…"

"Thanks… but I'm okay and I suspect you'll say the same because that's how alike we are, but maybe being in each others company will be enough, but if not feel free to wake me if you need anymore assurance. I promised Trevor I'd take care of you."

Olivia managed a smile. "Thanks sweetheart. I'm okay, but I do love you and your brother very much for always looking out for me and I'm always here to do the same."

/

Olivia woke up with Noah climbing between her and Angela. She usually would have protested but she was feeling a little sensitive and she loved nothing more than her son cuddling with her in the mornings. "Good morning baby," she whispered.

"Moommmyyyy why is auntie Angie here?" He giggled.

"Cos she wanted to cuddle Mommy too." Angela muttered over her shoulder. Olivia smiled as Noah climbed in beneath the covers. "Honey close your eyes and cuddle Mommy, its still too early to wake up."

"We need to feed the animals," he protested.

"It's okay baby, Uncle Joe is doing that today, let's just sleep ok? Mommy needs the rest."

"Mommy," he whispered, facing her, "can I go with Uncle Joey to feed the animals?," he asked.

"No, not today, Daddy is gonna come home tonight and then you can go back to feeding the animals with him, close your eyes baby, have a sleepy snuggle with Auntie Angie and I."

Noah pouted. Olivia knew her son though, she could tell he was still tired. He pouted and put his arm around her, getting closer. "Mommy your belly is getting big like Santa Claus, you're getting so fat." he murmured sleepily.

Olivia almost choked. She held her laughter and amusement back. She and Trevor hadn't yet told him about the baby. They had discussed it, but were still deciding whether or not they'd find out the sex of it first. Trevor wanted to know but Olivia wasn't so sure yet.

"Thanks Noah, that's lovely," she muttered.

/

"Don't wake Mommy," Angie whispered to Noah with a yawn, "I can get up and get you some food."

"Too late, Mommy is awake," Olivia muttered. "Sorry sweetie, Mommy slept in too late."

"Its okay, we were tired!" Noah said with a smile, sitting up. "Can I play with Olly today?" He asked.

"Only if auntie Jen says its okay but we need to get some breakfast first, wash our faces and brush teeth…" Olivia told him, "all the things we do before we go out for the day."

"Could I get my clothes?" Noah asked.

"Yes, you can go and get your clothes and bring them back in here," she told him, easing herself up. Noah climbed out of bed and disappeared until all they heard was the stomping of his tiny feet against the hardwood floors down to the other end to his bedroom.

"I feel like shit," Olivia remarked, "getting out of bed feels like a chore when you're pregnant…"

"You can stay in bed, I'll take care of Noah if you like," Ange offered.

"No, its okay," she smiled, "when I see Jen — she's further along than me and she doesn't even act like there's a baby inside of her — I don't know how she does it."

"Well," Angie countered, "there is something to be said for pregnancy experience," she told her, "it always feels hardest on your body with your first child because your body has never actually has had to prepare fully for pregnancy - so you get odd aches and pains where you wouldn't expect, your reproductive organs are stretching, your stomach muscles are stretching, its more weight than youre used to carrying, basically, Olivia, a baby is a leech, and it takes all your good stuff and leaves you with the left overs that you don't want."

Olivia stared, her mouth falling open, shocked.

Angela started to laugh, "I'm kidding, Liv, its okay, calm down, you look like you might pass out."

"No but, you're kind of right… gosh it was so much easier having Noah delivered by Stork," she managed to chuckle.

Angela smiled at her. "You'll be fine, I promise. But, Jen is probably gonna be way more gentle at answering your questions and putting a harmonious spin on it. I've been involved in enough birthing experiences to know the disgusting truth," she smirked.

"Like what? Tell me? I need to prepare." Olivia pushed.

"Like… sometimes when you're giving birth you push so hard you… poop yourself. Or you tear…"

Olivia made a face, looking horrified.

"And if you don't tear sometimes the baby gets stuck and you know… you know what an episiotomy is, right?" Angela couldn't help but to laugh at Olivia turning slightly green.

"I can't have Trevor in the birthing suite, what if I poop?," she asked, looking a little grossed out. "I can't have that… looks like you'll be in there with me."

"Well listen Olivia, I gotta tell you, its fairly common so it'll probably happen. Do you really think Trevor is going to start pointing and laughing and heckling at you if it does?" She laughed at the stupidity of the idea, "because I'm fairly sure my brother will be too busy crying over the pain that you'll no doubt be in."

"Why didn't I want to adopt, again?"

"Because you had too much fun at the practicing part of making a baby," Angela teased her with a laugh as Noah came back in with his clothes.

Olivia managed a laugh as she helped Noah get his clothes on to start getting ready for the day.

/

"When can we see the sonogram photos?" Jen asked Olivia, flicking her eyes at Angela.

Olivia caught the glance, "I know what you're both doing, there is no way Angela is seeing that sonogram. She will instantly know what sex the baby is and Trevor and I haven't decided if we want to know and we don't want anyone to know before us so he said I was absolutely not to share it with either of you."

Angela laughed, "Blast, Trevor sucks."

"Speak of the devil…" Jen nodded to Trevor's truck's headlights that became visible at the bottom of the dirt road driveway.

"Excellent, I can harass him," Angie rubbed her hands together.

It was Olivia who was the most pleased, her stomach flip-flopped as soon as she spotted his car. She hadn't realised just how much she had missed him — but it was the longest time she'd spent without him, almost an entire week.

He had been working on a trial which had been going for days and had finally settled out of court. He was relieved because each witness testimony seemed to drag. He missed Olivia and he missed Noah and he knew Olivia had spent most of her nights sleepless and restless with bad dreams and anxiety.

He pulled the car to a halt and Angela jumped up, ready to harras her brother, but Jen grabbed her arm. "I think that's our queue to go, actually."

"But the sonogram!" Angela protested.

"No, we're going to leave Olivia and Trevor to say hello, we can harass Trevor tomorrow."

Olivia smiled to herself.

"Hey guys…" Trevor called from the back of his truck as he waved at them.

"Hi Trev," his two sisters greeted him. He wasn't glancing at them though, he was glancing at Olivia who was doing her best to seem nonchalant about his arrival home.

"We were just leaving… see you tomorrow!" Jen dragged his sister behind her back to her own place.

"Bye guys," Olivia called after them.

She turned to Trevor and gave him a little smile. He put his bag down by the front door. She got up slowly from the outdoor couch and waited patiently for him to make his way over to her to greet her.

She felt the electricity of his presence in the air— the excitement of seeing his beautiful face and knowing that she didn't have to endure another long night alone in bed without him where she was haunted by nightmares and dark thoughts.

"Hi baby," he greeted her, reaching for her, slipping his arms around her waist. "I missed you." He kissed her lips softly and lingeringly. He pulled away and stared at her for a second, taking in every bit of her gorgeous face. "I missed this face…" he added, stroking her hair, pushing her long hair behind her shoulders before he kissed her again.

"Its so good to see you… I really, really missed you," she told him in a whisper so that she didn't become emotional.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come back sooner…"

"Its okay, you're home now."

"Where's Noah?," he wondered. "Is he in bed already?"

She smiled and nodded, "he tried so hard to wait up for his Daddy but he crashed on the couch at 7 o'clock."

Trevor laughed. "Poor kiddo… Hey I got you a little surprise, give me one second."

He went back to the car and came back with a fast food bag.

"Oh my goodness, I love you so fucking much!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Well, they're cold … but I've seen you put burgers in the fridge and pick at them hours after you've finished with it which is kind of gross, but I love you anyway," he smiled. "So, all yours, two Jnr Cheese Deluxe burgers…"

"I love you," she took the bag from him and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed his lips.

"Do you want to go inside or do you want to hang out here for a bit?"

"Let's sit out here for a little bit… is that okay? Or are you tired and need to sleep?"

"Baby, its only 8, I'm good…" he grinned, "I wanna spend time with you. I'm gonna run in and take my bag upstairs. Do you want me to heat up those gross, cold burgers?"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "there's no time. I want them now."

Trevor let out a loud laugh, "A burger emergency, huh?"

"Uhuh," she sat back down, this time on the double seat that Ange and Jen had been sitting on.

She loved her outdoor furniture. Since she and Trevor had learned she was pregnant, they'd made a few small changes, the first was a sturdier four day job of building a gorgeous veranda outside of the front of the house and Trevor and Olivia had picked out some gorgeous, comfortable outdoor couches and arm chairs to sit on it so that they could spend more time together.

Granted, it wasn't by the outdoor fire pit, but Trevor was thinking of getting it all re-turfed and covering over his fire spot and replacing it with a pit. It was probably going to be safer. Not that they ever for one second left any of the children unattended with the fire going, but still, he was always extra worried whenever he lit a fire and the children were playing close.

Olivia sighed with pleasure as the smell of the burgers hit her when she opened the bag. She pulled a cheese burger out and unwrapped it. She wasn't really in to greasy food usually, but she had ever experienced a need so bad than the one that pushed her to indulge the strangest things so far removed from her regular diet.

She took a bite and it tasted perfect, not hot though, but it still smelled fresh, possibly because of the preservatives but she was too in her element to give it a second thought. She took a second bite and thought about how good it would be to have a cold soda to go along with it.

Trevor came back downstairs and went straight to the refrigerator for a beer. He made his way to the front door and watched Olivia for a second. She looked so cute, contentedly eating her burger, her swollen belly showing beneath the plain t-shirt she wore with her legs jackknifed beneath her.

He had missed her so much and he longed to just be close to her and hold her. He felt weighed down by guilt of leaving her alone with Noah knowing that she was not only exhausted, but her anxiety levels were high and she was experiencing pain and discomfort that she'd never experienced before.

"Baby," he asked, opening the front door, sticking his head out, "do you want a drink?"

She turned to him and smiled, "Could you get me a cold soda?"

"Of course, I'll just be a sec," he smiled softly. He was tired, but he wanted to hang out with her a little. He reached to the back of the refrigerator and got her a can of coca cola and took it out to her; setting his beer down on the table and cracking the tab on the can for her.

She'd almost finished her first burger. She reached for the can, but Trevor pulled it back in and leaned in close. "The payment is one burger breath kiss."

Olivia chuckled and obliged him. "Thanks."

He took a seat beside her. "Fuck, I really missed your sweet face…" he sighed happily, getting comfortable. She cocked her head to the side and smiled at him.

"Ah, see…" he continued, a smile spreading across his own lips, "such a sweet smile, you still make my knees weak, Olivia Benson," he murmured.

"Stop it… I have greasy hands and I smell like cheeseburger, I am hardly in a romantic state." He could tell by the way the heat rose in her cheeks and turned them pink that despite how she felt, his words had already turned her to mush.

He opened his beer and took a long gulp, tossing the lid on to the table. "Good to be home…"

"This is home now, I realised…" Olivia told him as she took the last small bite and balled up the wrapper.

Trevor didn't say anything, he let her swallow her mouthful and watched her wipe her hands on the napkin. She picked up her coke can and settled back, turning to him, tucking her knees up between them. He inched closer, linking his arm beneath the peak of her knees, pulling her legs over his thighs.

"It's happened gradually but… I feel the most comfortable here… and so does Noah."

"Wow…" Trevor smiled, "well, what do you think that means?"

Olivia glanced at him and shrugged, "I don't really know. I feel like leaving SVU would be so final but… I'm going to have a year of maternity leave to figure that out, aren't I?"

He nodded with a smile. "You might love being a Mom and developing the women's shelter so much that you enjoy this new path."

"I hope so, but we'll see… May is a real stickler for getting her own way," Olivia laughed. She took a sip of the soda.

"So what else?," he asked her, "what have I missed? What's been happening with the baby?" He leaned over to her side and rested his hand upon her belly.

"Not a lot, it's just hurting a little, I've been getting a lot of but your sister promised me it was normal, it's just everything changing and preparing."

"We're halfway there, can you believe it?," he smiled, rubbing his hand over her belly. He stared at it for a moment and then back up at his beautiful partner. "You gonna tell work soon?"

She nodded. "When I get back… I was actually thinking we could tell Noah. He told me I was getting fat this morning."

Trevor widened his eyes in shock. "Oh shit… are you okay? Did it upset you?"

She shook her head, "No of course not, he's four, he has no idea what he's saying, I actually had to try hard not to laugh."

"I know but maybe let's not let him start throwing around the word fat…"

"I know," she agreed, "you're right but it was super early in the morning and I really just wanted him to go back to sleep."

"That's fair… if I hear it, I'm going to be talking to him about it, I hope that's okay, because in my books, those kinds of words are absolutely unacceptable and I don't want him to start school using it as an insult or even a descriptor for a person."

Olivia felt herself soften. "I agree," she felt slightly guilty for laughing it off in the moment, she knew Trevor had a point. "Sorry, I should have said something."

"No, its okay," he replied, "you're tired and it wasn't the right moment," he added, realising fast that she was feeling a little reproached. "You're his Mommy and you know what's best for him."

"It doesn't mean you're not right and I'm glad you feel like that. I can't imagine being with a guy who made fat jokes and included my kid in on them, I like your stance on it, its pretty hot just like … most things that come out of your mouth."

He chuckled, caressing her bare legs up to her thighs and back down absently. "Thanks… I think."

She leaned forward and put her drink on the table and relaxed back with a content sigh. He loved to watch her rub her own belly. She hadn't even realised how often she did it and how fast it had turned in to habit. "Your sister scared me earlier, giving me the grim truth about birthing this baby and I have to say, I'm not sure you should be in there with me, I don't want you to change the way you look at me."

He started to laugh, "are you kidding? Olivia, I am not waiting in the waiting room. I'm going to be there for the good and the bad and the ugly regardless of how my sister scares us."

"No but for real," she said a little more seriously, "you might not find me sexy or attractive anymore after you've seen me tear or … worse."

A little smile spread across his mouth, "Why are you so self conscious of that? It happens, its a natural process and its okay."

He saw her thinking about it for a moment before she looked back up at him. "What if … during birth I …" she felt her cheeks flush, "what if-"

"Spit it out, Liv," he laughed, "I can handle it, I promise."

"What if I poop…"

He couldn't help but laugh, not at the idea but the sheer concern that filled her face, her cheeks reddened. "Sorry. I don't mean to laugh but you're so, so full of worry about it, who cares," he shrugged, "its really not that big of a deal, you're going to be pushing a baby which, by comparison of the size of your reproductive organs its… massive, and so it seems entirely plausible that you're going to do that…."

She made a face. "I don't want to, I just want to have a nice smooth delivery, where the baby comes out like it's going down a slippery slide."

She and Trevor laughed at the silliness. "Are you feeling scared?," he asked, realising she was growing a little vulnerable.

"I don't know…" she sighed, "a little, I think."

"Tell my sister to keep her scare tactics to herself. There's a reason why women do this more than once Olivia, and its because you guys are much stronger than us and because it might be painful, but it's a pain you will endure and forget."

"I know… I think it's just honestly been a hard few days emotionally, I've been so down in the dumps and I know it's hormonal, but its the lack of sleep, the nightmares — I've been in a really dark headspace."

He nodded slow. He put his drink up beside hers and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm here with you now, I don't have court again for another week and a half and maybe you can come with me back to the city for a few days next time."

"Yeah, I guess I don't want to be that woman, but I found it really hard to be far from you. I've realised that, you're my centre of gravity…" she paused and then laughed, a little embarrassed, "I hate myself for saying that, that was just the dumbest thing I've ever said-"

"No it's not, stop that… I understand how you feel. I hated being away from you when you went back to New York for a few days to work… it fucked with my head so much that I started thinking up all these stupid insecure scenarios… It was honestly just that I hated being away from you because you and Noah make me feel a complete."

Olivia rested her head against Trevor's shoulders, flanked warmly against his torso. She felt his lips on her forehead. "I love this life we have, I know it was fast-paced… kind of, I know that we've jumped in head first, but… its right."

"I don't regret it a single bit. I am so, so excited about our baby… no amount of shit is going to keep me away from it."

She managed a little laugh. "I was actually thinking…do you still want to find out the baby's sex?"

"Yes," he grinned, "do you?"

"I mean…" she paused and sat up a little to look at him, "why not? Do you still have the envelope here?"

He nodded. "You don't want to do some kind of fun little gender reveal?"

Olivia laughed, "No, Trevor, I'm not 25, nobody cares about the sex of our baby except us."

"Not true, Noah will care and so will my sisters and brother…"

"I just would prefer that its something you and I find out on our own and have this for ourselves if that's okay. Jen and Ange want to know so badly and I'm happy to share it with them but I want it just for us first."

"Whatever you want…" He kissed her softly. Again. "Do you want to do that now? Or when?"

"We can do it now… let's get ready for bed and get comfortable and have a look…."

Trevor smiled at her, "do you have any feelings about it one way or the other?"

"Mmmm," Olivia shrugged. "I would love a daughter but… I know how to raise a boy so I wouldn't be concerned if we were having a boy. I'll just be so happy as long as the baby is perfectly healthy."

"And slips out of you like its going down a slippery slide," Trevor teased her.

They both laughed.

He leaned forward and finished off his beer. They got up grabbed their things and went inside. Trevor locked the door behind him and waited for Olivia before they went upstairs. She had a quick rinse off, the summer sun always made her skin feel a little sweaty of a day. She eventually met Trevor in bed in her t-shirt and underwear; Trevor's t-shirt really.

He reached in to his bedside table drawer and pulled out the envelope that they had been given at the sonogram. "You really ready for this?," Trevor asked, raising an eyebrow as Olivia turned off the overhead light and got in beside him.

"Yeah, sure, we could probably start getting a few things ready and figure out how we're going to decorate."

He grinned, starting to feel some of her excitement despite her anxieties that he was sure was common for every first pregnancy. She grinned right back. He went to pass it to her. "You open it…"

"No," she pushed it back in to his hands, "you do it…"

He held it for a moment and then glanced at her. "Wait," Olivia stopped him, "wait, you didn't tell me before, do you have a preference?"

"No," he shook his head, "I'm just happy to be a Dad again no matter the sex."

"Okay," Olivia smiled, "open it… go ahead."

Slowly he peeled back the cello tape holding the envelope closed. He slid his thumb and forefinger inside and pulled out a piece of paper and glanced at it for a moment and felt a smile spread widely across his lips that were pressed tightly together - the idea suddenly becoming very real in a matter of seconds.

"Oh wow…" Olivia breathed, seeing Dr's written words on the paper.

Trevor turned to look at his girlfriend. She stared, her eyes full of tears. "I hope those are happy tears, baby," he murmured.

"They are…" she replied. "We're having a girl…" she told him softly. He put the paper down and held his arms out, embracing her.

"Congratulations…"

"You too, Girl Dad," she choked back a sob of happiness, reciprocating his tight, warm embrace.

He laughed. "Girl Dad… I love the sound of that," he replied. He broke apart to plant a series of celebratory kisses upon her lips.

"That's so exciting," Olivia told him. "Oh my gosh, can we go and buy some baby clothes?"

Trevor laughed and nodded, "Yeah of course… let's tell Noah in the morning and we can make it real for him and take him shopping with us to buy some clothes…" He paused, "Oh wait, no… I have someone coming in the morning to measure up the pool for the backyard," he told her, "but… we could go for lunch and then baby stuff afterwards."

"Oh…. We're doing the pool so soon?" Olivia grinned.

"Yeah, why not? Are you okay with that? I just thought that it might be nice to get going on it as quickly as possible…."

"Of course its fine, I just thought you had it banked as a long term plan," she shrugged.

"Nope," he smiled. "We want a pool in our yard, we want to turn the room that was Mom and Dad's in to a nursery and we need to properly paint and make Noah's room his own — these are important things."

"I love you and everything you're doing for us…"

"Thanks baby, I love you too."

/

It was about time, Olivia thought. She wasn't sure why she hadn't said anything yet, but she stood at the mirror, standing profile in a white camisole and black tights with a hand beneath her bump, she took a mirror selfie.

"Hi Amanda, I have something to tell you but I'm scared that you're gonna be mad at me for keeping it to myself for this whole time… but I hope you'll understand all the reasons which I've found it difficult to say something…"

She considered sending the picture without waiting for a response but held off instead.

She moved away from the mirror and continued to get dressed, putting on a t-shirt over her camisole and putting on her trainers. She heard her phone go.

"Why am I scared?" Amanda had replied, "Okay, you better tell me… is it phonemail worthy?"

Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and hovered over hitting send on the photo. She finally did it, she hit send. She added another message, "21 weeks today…"

A few moments later she received a gibberish response along with a phone call immediately after. Olivia held the phone in her hands for a moment before picking it up.

"Hey…"

"Olivia Bensonnnnnn, what the fuck!" Amanda shouted down the phone, "what the actual fuck?!"

"I'm sorry, Amanda, I was going to tell you as soon as I found out but-"

"But what? Liv this is huge…"

"I was scared of something wrong wrong or … I don't know… just people having something to say because of how quickly my relationship with Trev has traveled."

"Why would I judge you? I love you." Amanda replied gently, "Olivia this is huge, congratulations, this is all you've ever wanted… a nice, sweet family."

"I know… I'm sorry. Its the reason why I took this time off work, I was so exhausted and… I just wanted to be close to Trevor."

"I understand… but you're gonna have to say something to someone soon…"

"I know…. I guess I'm avoiding work because at the moment it feels like I've put a question mark on staying at SVU after my baby is born."

"What? Are you serious?" Amanda's voice trailed off.

"Yeah… I really like it here, I know you know that… it feels like home and Noah— I've never seen my kid this happy and his behaviour is immaculate—it's just a new life, one that I've wanted but I'm just so scared that I'll make a mistake."

"Lucky you'll have a little while to figure it out. Does Trevor want this too? For you to quit work?" The last thing Amanda wanted for her friend was for her to have her own wants and needs pushed aside because she was in love and he wanted a more traditional mother for his kids.

"Well… Trevor just wants me to be happy. He wants me to be okay with whatever choice I make and whatever I choose, he promised me we'd make it work. He's very careful not to try to influence my opinion one way or another and I can't tell you how much I value that."

"That damn sexy Langan," Amanda joked.

They both laughed. Olivia felt her eyes growing watery. "I guess I didn't want to tell you because we're like family and I feel like I'm the one breaking us up and I don't want you to hate me, but I'd hate me too, if I were you."

"Oh, Liv… no. I don't hate you. Part of being friends is wanting your friends to be happy and I know this is a new chapter that, even if you aren't the sort of person to have ever shouted it out loud, you've always wanted and I would never begrudge that. We can't all work in SVU forever, if it's time it's time. Your happiness is first."

"Thanks Amanda…"

"I can't believe you're pregnant. My girls will be so excited, Liv…if you leave SVU that means you have more time to hang out with us. We could have girl weekends."

"And you're always going to be welcome here if we decide to live here permanently."

"That'd be so much fun, I bet we'd all love it." Amanda replied. "Do you know what sex the baby is? Or are you gonna find out?"

"I'm having a girl. We found out last night."

"Oh my gosh, it really could be a bonafide girl weekend," Amanda sounded excited and Olivia was relieved.

"That sounds like the best time, Amanda. I know I'm gonna need someone to show me the ropes of being a girl Mom."

Amanda smiled. "I got you, Liv. And clothes, I'll have so much to give you…"

"Thanks, love… I am just waiting for a contractor to leave and Trevor is taking Noah and I out to town for lunch and we're going to buy some baby things."

"Oh, that's so exciting. Do you have anything for her yet?"

"No… Trevor has been in the city all week and I felt weird buying stuff, but finding out what sex the baby is kind of made it so … tangible."

Amanda laughed. "Nothing more tangible than the size of your belly Liv…is she kicking yet?"

"Not in a big way, I can just feel movement… Trevor can't feel it yet… I'm getting cramps and back aches though, holy shit my back has been aching…"

"Oh no good, well, you have a man who got you in to this mess, make sure he gives you regular back massages."

Olivia laughed, "I know he will…"

Trevor appeared in the doorway of the room, watching her for a second until she noticed him. "Hang on one sec, Amanda," she covered the mouthpiece and glanced up at him. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Yep," he smiled, "I just want to tell you that the contractor is gone, I'm ready to go whenever you are — no rush though, I'll just get Noah cleaned up."

"Okay I won't be long," she replied giving him a little smile.

He paused, "Are you okay?," he whispered knowing that she had been dreading saying anything to anyone at work.

She nodded.

"OK," he smiled back, "see you downstairs."

Olivia went back to her phone call and chatted with Amanda for a few more moments before she threw on a gingham flannel shirt and buttoned it up just below her chest, there was no way it would button over her belly any longer.

She pulled her hair off her face and tied it back. She looked a little run down when she glanced in the mirror. She hadn't slept well the night before with some cramping in her lower stomach and back ached when she laid a certain way.

She put a little concealer under her eyes and added a small amount of colour to the lids of her eyes and a small sweep of mascara on her already-long lashes. She immediately felt and looked better. Just before she went downstairs she smeared just a tiny bit of pink on to her high cheekbones to give her washed-out skin some health. It wasn't that she felt bad, generally speaking, it's that she just didn't always feel 100% with her pregnancy at 21 weeks.

"Aww, you look nice," Trevor smiled, seeing Olivia's scaled back make-up routine when she met him at the landing of the stairs in the living room.

"Thanks," she replied. "I'm glad that's out of the way…"

"How'd it go? Was she mad?" Trevor asked about her phone conversation. He'd kept it to himself, but it bothered him that Olivia was so worried about her friend being mad at her pregnancy or her shot at a happy relationship when she had never been anything but accommodating and encouraging about Amanda's slow burn relationship with Dominic Carisi.

"It was fine, I just had things in my head and how they were going to go and as usual, it didn't go the bleak way I had expected it. Amanda is really excited for us and said she's happy as long as I am…"

"Thats good, baby, that's what friends are for." Trevor replied.

"Are we still going to lunch?" Olivia asked, "because I am so hungry."

He smiled, "Yep…" he called out to Noah who came in from watching TV.

"Hi honey, did you have fun with Dad this morning feeding the animals?"

Noah nodded and smiled, "Maple is so big now Mommy, you should see her!" Noah told her.

Olivia smiled, "maybe we'll see her this afternoon."

"She's big but she still loves us the same, doesn't she?" Trevor asked Noah.

He nodded with a smile. "Noah, we're gonna go and get some lunch together in town today, are you excited?" Olivia asked, "you can have a cheese burger or some nuggets or a special treat."

Noah smiled from Olivia to Trevor and nodded. She reached down and picked him up. "We have a surprise for you, but you have to wait just a little bit longer."

"Ohhh! Is it McDonalds?" Noah asked excitedly.

"No," Olivia smiled at him, "McDonald's is yucky, Mommy and Daddy don't like it," she told him, "so go grab your boots and Dad might help you put them on if you ask nicely."

She and Trevor exchanged smiles. Olivia grabbed her purse and went to the kitchen and threw a granola bar in and a small bottle of water. It had proven to be good when she was struggling with nausea. She sat her purse down on the kitchen counter to organise what she had just tossed in it. She grinned to herself as she pulled out the granola bar and the water.

Trevor had already put a granola bar in it and had some honey grahams in a ziplock bag for good measure. She put her own granola back and decided to just hold on to the water bottle. She pulled her purse over her arm and and went to see if Trevor and Noah were ready to go.

/

"Oh my gosh, I definitely want the lasagne. Is that okay?" Olivia asked Trevor, almost as if she thought he might tell her it was a bad idea.

He gave her a funny look. "What do you mean? Of course it's okay, get whatever you want… I'm not your boss."

She laughed in spite of herself. "I meant, is it okay to eat for lunch? Or is that going to look like I'm a giant pig."

"One, you have something else to eat for, two, it's half past 12 and you barely ate breakfast. And three, you are absolutely beautiful and I don't ever want to hear you refer to yourself like that again."

Admonished Olivia smiled at him sheepishly. "Thanks, baby…" she said, not because she needed his reassurance, but because he loved her no matter what and she knew it. And even when she didn't have the capacity to love herself, he stood in for them both.

Trevor reached across the table for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. "How are you feeling today after a good night's sleep?"

"Refreshed," she replied with a smile, "And well-rested. I really missed having you beside me."

He lifted her hand and kissed it affectionately. "I love you." He looked at Noah who was watching some kids playing at another table. "I love you too, Noah."

Noah finally peeled his eyes away and glanced at Trevor. "I love you too, Daddy."

"We both do…" Olivia added. She turned to Noah, "Hey honey, do you think you'll be happy with your cheese burger and fries? Or you could have a hot dog if you like…"

"Or a yummy cheese pizza," Trevor pitched in.

"Oooh," Noah looked at Olivia and Trevor with a little glint of excitement, "I love pizza, Mommy."

"I know and you know what? We're going to let you be a big boy and you can choose."

He thought about it for a second, "Mmm I want pizza, but I like fries too."

"Well… you can get your pizza bubba. Daddy is going to get steak and fries so you can have some of mine. I'll share with you, okay?"

Olivia grinned. "Ohhh, that's so nice, isn't it Noah?"

He nodded, smiling happily. Happy to have the attention of not just one parent, but both of them. "Thanks Daddy," he replied.

Trevor leaned over and kissed him on his forehead. A waitress came to take their orders.

"Only 19 more weeks and I can have a glass of wine," Olivia joked as the waitress left their table with the boring soda orders.

"You can do it," he replied with a little smile, "it's a good sacrifice," he added. "Worthwhile, I hope."

"Absolutely." Olivia replied, placing one hand on her belly. She turned to Noah. "Honey, we are ready to tell you our surprise. Are you ready?"

Noah nodded with a grin. Trevor was excited for Noah's reaction. "Okay," she reached over and grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of his chair and guided him around the table. "Do you remember the other morning when you noticed Mommy's belly?"

She placed her son's hands on the bulge.

Noah nodded and looked up at his Mom. "Your belly got big," he giggled as if he knew he shouldn't say it.

"It did, like Auntie Jenna's belly, she has a big belly now doesn't she?"

"Yes," Noah agreed, "that's because she has Olly's sister growing in her tummy."

Trevor grinned, "Why do you think Mommy's belly is getting big?" Trevor asked. Noah turned around to look at his father.

"Mmmm Mommy's belly is big because she eats too much and drinks a lot of beer."

Neither adult could help but to laugh. "Beer!?" Olivia poked her son in the chest, "Me!? I almost never drink beer! And I don't eat a lot!"

"You told Daddy before that your lunch would make you a pig."

Trevor eyed Olivia, grimacing.

"Oh, that was Mommy just being a bit silly, eating food doesn't make me a pig."

"Oh," Noah replied, his hands rubbing his Mommy's swollen belly. He looked up at her, "are you going to have a baby like Auntie Jenna?," he asked innocently.

Trevor's lips widened in to a big grin, surprised that Noah had it figured out so quickly.

"Yes, my love, I am going to have a baby like Auntie Jenna. That baby is going to be your sibling. You will get to share Mommy and Daddy with a baby soon."

Noah glanced to Trevor as if to gauge whether or not it was serious. "Isn't that exciting?" Trevor asked him, "how would you love to be a big brother?"

"Am I going to have a sister like Olly? I get to be the biggest boy?"

Trevor smiled and nodded, "Yeah, bubba, we are going to give you a little sister and you'll be just like Olly - you get to both be a big brother."

Noah wrapped his arms around Olivia and rested his head on her belly, giving it a little rub. "Mommy can my sister hear me?"

"Yes love, she can hear you, you can talk to her and give her kisses if you like…"

Noah smiled, "Hello baby," he spoke to her belly before kissing it. "I'm your big brother."

Olivia reached for Trevor's hand again and squeezed it tightly as they exchanged smiles. Trevor could see the tears of happiness filling Liv's eyes.

"How long until I meet my sister?" He asked, "Olly has to wait so a long long time."

"Well," Olivia began, "a little while yet, honey, we have to wait too, but maybe after summer we'll be able to meet her and each week we can count it down until she arrives."

She had thought of setting up a type of advent calendar for the baby's arrive to give Noah tangibility.

"Maybe we can get a calendar" Trevor suggested, obviously thinking the same thing.

"That's a good idea," Olivia agreed, running her fingers through her son's hair. She leaned over and kissed her son. "So each week Mommy's belly will get bigger and bigger and bigger until the baby is ready to pop out."

Noah smiled at his Mom and cuddled her again. "So now when you're cuddling Mom, you're cuddling your sister too," Trevor told him.

"I'll give my sister cuddles all the time," Noah informed them.

Trevor glanced up to see that their food was coming. He got up and picked Noah up, getting him back up in his booster seat. "Your lunch is here, bubba and after we finish our food we'll go and pick some things for your sister's room, maybe you can help Mommy and I pick a special teddy for her."

"Yesss," Noah exclaimed, "we'll get something special for her Mommy," he told Olivia.

Olivia smiled, so thankful that her son was receptive and excited about the news.

The waitress put the small pizza down in front of Noah and Olivia's Lasagne and salad. She told Trevor she would be back with drinks and his steak.

"Here, let me help you break apart your pizza and push your sleeves up," Trevor told Noah, picking up a knife and cutting it apart and separating the four small quartered pizza, allowing it to cool. "It looks yummy, huh?"

Noah nodded. "I love pizza, it's my best ever!" He told them.

They already knew how much he loved pizza. He never turned it down and one of the only things that they could get him to eat a reasonable serving of. Noah didn't eat large portions of food and Olivia had stopped trying to force the issue. He didn't get away eating a lot of junk food nor did he refuse vegetables only to eat something less healthy — he just picked at food, even the food that he was excited about — the treats like McDonalds or Shake Shack.

He had recently decided he liked the vegetable and rice that Trevor served him and it was a way that both Olivia and Trevor could ensure he was getting enough healthy food.

"Enjoy it, bubba," Trevor smiled at him, pushing his sleeves up over his elbows. He turned to Olivia, "you too," he told her, "you don't have to wait for me, start eating, I know you're hungry."

"No, its okay," she replied with a little smile. She felt so content and happy with her growing family. "I'll wait for my man."

Trevor grinned smiled at her.

A few minutes later the waitress returned with their cokes and Trevor's steak.

/

"Wow, I remember holding Olly in my arms thinking 'how can this be right? How is he ever going to grow in to an actual full sized human!'" Trevor marvelled at the tiniest romper in his hands. He held it out so Liv could see it.

"It's tiny…" she replied. She glanced down at Noah who stayed close to them, eyeing off the tiny clothes. She reached down and picked him up, wanting him to be involved in choosing something. "Honey, look at this little romper, it's very little isn't it?"

Noah nodded. "Is it for a dolly?"

Trevor smiled at his innocence, "No, bubba, it's tiny because that's how big your sister is going to be when she arrives."

"She's gonna be that little?!," he was shocked. "That's too small! What if someone steps on her."

Olivia chuckled. "We're not gonna leave her on her own, Noah, she'll be too little. She won't be able to walk or talk or anything, remember like Amanda's little baby?"

"Oh yeah," Noah nodded. "I remember."

"You can help Mommy and I feed her and hold her and bathe her and push her in the baby pram…" Trevor told Noah, "and guess what? When you get older, you and your sister will be such great friends like me and auntie Angie are…"

Noah nodded excitedly, "Are we going to buy my sister some clothes?"

"Yeah, just a few small things… what do you think, do you like this one?" Trevor asked him, holding up the pink romper.

Noah shook his head, "No, my sister will like something pretty."

Trevor noticed Olivia shifting Noah to her other hip and realised that her hips were still giving her some pain. "Okay," Trevor smiled, holding his arms out to take him. "Come over to Daddy and the three of us can find something that we all think she will like."

They picked out three very small romper - each of them picking one each. Olivia picked a plain tiny pink one, Trevor picked a white one with tiny pink rosebud patterns and Noah chose a white one with vintage woodland animal prints which, had Olivia laid eyes on it first, she would have chosen.

The three were giddily happy as they selected a few other things. Noah was adamant that his sister had to have a cuddle cloth like the one that he still slept with. They agreed on a very, very soft light brown bunny cloth.

Noah cuddled it close to him as Trevor paid for the purchases.

"Well, well, well… what on earth is Trevor Langan doing in a baby store!," an amused voice could be heard from behind them. Immediately, without setting eyes on her, he knew exactly who it was.

He took the bag and smiled at the clerk, thanking her. He stepped away and came face-to-face with a very, very pregnant woman who did not look much like the person from his very long past.

He smiled, "Hi, nice to see you Soph," he greeted her. "Congratulations are in order, I guess," he nodded toward her pregnant belly.

"And you too — well, I don't want to assume," she glanced at Olivia, giving her the once over. Trevor couldn't help to feel his irritation, some things never changed. "Liv, this is Sophie William-"

"I was Trevor's girlfriend in junior high and sophomore year," she told Olivia, "nice to meet you."

Olivia plastered a fake smile upon her lips, she knew she had to be the one Jen had told her about — the one that had been cruel to her until Trevor had finally told Sophie to leave her alone. "Lucky Trevor," she murmured. She knew only Trevor would pick up on her sarcasm.

"So, I didn't know you had kids, last I heard from Kevin McCall you were in some dead-end relationship with a girl and her toddler."

"Wow," Trevor rose an eyebrow, "gossip really does travel. I'll have to be careful what I tell Kevin McCall." He could feel Noah tugging at his shirt for attention. Olivia went to pull him away but Trevor didn't mind. He reached down and picked him up. "This is my son Noah and … as I said before, Olivia and," he placed a hand on Liv's belly, "our little munchkin."

"Oh no," Sophie clapped her hand over her mouth, "I hope I didn't insult you by saying your relationship was dead-end," she said quickly, thinking that Olivia and her toddler may have been the relationship she'd been told about.

"Nope," Trevor said quickly, "Kevin McCall was right. I was in a dead-end relationship, but that was quite awhile ago now…"

"Ohhh," she smiled knowingly, relieved, "sorry, sometimes I just have a habit of putting my foot in it."

"Some thing's haven't changed then, huh?," he joked. His memory of Sophie was that she was always meddling in things that didn't concern her.

She giggled, her cheeks flushing. "Oh, Olivia you must have been so jealous when all of Trevor's social media pics went viral! All those comments those girls left on his photos! How embarrassing!"

"Nah," Olivia smiled, knowing that it still bothered Trevor. "To be fair, he did look sizzling hot, it'd have been a disservice for it not to have gone viral." Trevor knew Olivia was taking a little glee in stirring her up.

"Oh, you are just too funny, Liv," the woman said, tossing her very, very blond hair over her shoulder. "We should get together, we'd have a scream!"

Olivia couldn't have thought of anything worse. "Oh, yeah maybe…" she replied, "that might be nice. I could bring Jenna, you know Jenna right? Trevor's sister-in-law."

"Ahhh, yeah, Jenna, the bane of my relationship with Trevor, I thought he would marry her, truthfully, but Joey got there first, huh?" She smiled at Olivia's man, but Olivia could tell there was a little bit of a stab to her words.

"Nah, Jenna was never anything more than my friend, my study buddy and someone that I shared my nerd books with, you knew that, you just didn't like it — but it doesn't matter, that was a lifetime ago. How's Jerry?," he asked, wanting to skip the subject.

Her cheeks flushed, "he's good, busy at the yard…"

"I'll bet," Trevor nodded. "Tell him I said hey," he suggested.

"My Mommy and Daddy are going to give me a sister," Noah blurted out. Trevor almost groaned, he knew the whole town would know what Olivia was having within an hour when they hadn't even had the chance to tell anyone else yet.

"Or a brother, we don't know yet." Olivia corrected him, feeling terrible, knowing that it was going to confuse him, but was so in sync with Trevor and realised the woman was just a town gossip.

Noah didn't say anything and Olivia almost laughed at the stink-eye he gave her.

"That's so exciting isn't it!," Sophie smiled at Noah, "you get to be a big brother, that's a very important job."

"I know," Noah replied. "I'm gonna be the best big brother."

"I don't doubt that," she grinned at him, booping him on the nose. Noah turned his head in to Trevor's chest, not liking the physical contact of a stranger.

All the adults politely ignored it. Trevor was about to wrap up the conversation, when she began another question, "so Olivia, are you from upstate here, or how do you guys know one another?"

"We've known each other for a long time through work."

"Ohhhh, let me guess, you're a big powerhouse lawyer in the city like Trevor and he was your boss!"

"What?" Trevor made a face, "no… that is highly against the rules and incredibly unprofessional."

Sophie smiled sardonically and shook her head slow, "you always loved the rules…" she told him as if trying to be insulting.

"Actually, I'm a Senior Sergeant Detective for Manhattan Special Victims — Trevor and I have never romantically crossed wires while he was anywhere near my cases, he's right, it's horribly unethical, and I'm a rule follower myself."

"Oh, is that like sex crimes? What an awful job! You must be so happy to get away from it and now you can live a life of luxury now that you've got children," she laughed.

"Uhhh," Olivia felt herself getting a little rigid; this was clearly a privileged woman with very low exposure to anything negative or anything outside of her small town mind. "I very much like my job and I enjoy helping people. I might have to change some things, but I'll always be working to help victims of abuse whether I'm a Mom or not."

"Oh, sorry," Sophie said softly, "I didn't mean to offend. You'll need a nanny then, I would never put my children through childcare around here."

Olivia shrugged, "I think childcare will be just fine. I like Noah to be exposed to other kids and social situations, but that's my opinion, everyone has to do what's right by them," she smiled.

"So Noah is actually your child, Trev? Like, really?"

Trevor was beyond irate, "Noah is my son, Sophie," he replied with an edge to his tone.

Olivia placed her hand on Trevor's chest and looked at Noah, trying to calm her man, "and he's the best Daddy ever, isn't he?"

Noah nodded and smiled. "The best Daddy. We play with the animals and Daddy reads to me and cooks for me and plays all my games when Mommy is at work."

Olivia smiled, "well okay, okay… Mom does all that stuff for you too…" she laughed, pausing to kiss her son. She glanced at Trevor and back at Sophie, "We better make tracks, it was lovely to meet you Sophie."

"You too," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, congratulations Sophie," Trevor told her, "see you around."

Olivia slotted her hand in to Trevor's, taking the bags from him so he could hold Noah too.

"The amount of swearing that I want to let out of my mouth right now is incredibly inappropriate for my son and unborn child to hear."

"So save it up for when we're alone," she murmured. "Don't worry about it. She's not going to ruin our afternoon. She is an old flame, nothing else."

They got to the car and Olivia strapped Noah in to his car seat while Trevor put their purchases in the trunk.

/

"You think we should let him sleep for an hour or wake him?" Trevor asked, carrying Noah inside.

"I think he can sleep… he's been adopting afternoon naps again," she smiled, "I encourage it." Trevor laid Noah down on the couch he seemed to always command and went upstairs to change out of his jeans in to a pair of shorts and a tank top. Olivia did the same, it was hot and stuffy inside. She made some peach tea earlier in the morning and poured herself and Trevor a big icy glassful and they sat out on the veranda on the couch.

"My calf muscles ache for some stupid reason, everything just doesn't feel ever 100%. I feel like I'm ageing horribly," she laughed as she lifted her hand to wave at Angela who was leaving her little space to head over to Joey and Jens.

"Here…" he reached over and slid his hand beneath her calf, lifting it over his lap and guiding her other leg over too.

"Thanks baby," Olivia smiled, getting comfortable. She felt his finger tips biting in to her muscles, massaging her legs firmly all the way down to her ankles and back up again.

"Ohh that feels so good," she laughed, slightly ticklish.

Trevor smiled. "Its the least I can do for someone who is carrying my baby…"

"So… Sophie Williams, IT girl of your high school and you were dating her, lucky, lucky you."

He was able to laugh now that they were home and away from the infuriating woman that he had somehow tolerated as a teenager. "I'll tell you something, teen Trevor must have really wanted to lose his virginity more than anything else in the world because I don't know how the hell he put up with that… and you know what? She hasn't changed a single bit."

Olivia smirked. "Wow, Sophie Williams was the girl you lost your V-card to, huh?" She snickered to herself, "I'm actually surprised, I thought you were less shallow than that," she joked.

"I didn't actually lose my virginity to her," he replied. "I would hate if she could hold that over me, and she would… you know how some women are in love with the idea of a man that she wants him to be, not who he is, which is usually a disappointing piece of shit?"

She laughed because she knew she had been guilty of that behaviour in the past. "Yes…"

He continued to massage her legs, kneading her skin beneath his ample hands. "I think it was like that a bit with her. I wanted her to be warmer and I thought if I got to know her she would have a really sweet side to her — but she was always vapid and probably more outwardly mean than she is now…"

"She didn't want to hang out with me, she wanted to get gossip. Jen actually told me about her, so that's why I brought her up."

Trevor smiled, "she completely soured, my goodness," he breathed and shook his head, "she really dislikes Jen. I have never said this, but I think she's one of the big reasons why Jen finds it hard to make friends with the Mom's at Ollys school; they're all the same age or around about as Sophie's little girl."

"Bitches… she really was jealous of Jenna. If I ever hear a bad word about her from any of these people I will cut."

"I know you will baby and they will rue the day they ever crossed your family," he smiled.

"Okay but now I need to actually know, who did you end up losing your virginity to?"

He laughed, "I knew that wouldn't get by you…" He slipped his hands down to her feet. "I actually lost my virginity in college. Isn't that sad?"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "No, it's not sad baby. Was she nice?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "she was really nice. Nicole Mercier. She was a Canadian student and we spent our first year studying and flirting and she was teaching me French."

Olivia didn't feel any slight residual feelings of jealousy. She smiled, happy to listen to his normal, typical version of how he came of age.

"Sorry, I don't mean to make you feel weird."

She made a face, as he worked on the balls of her feet with his deft fingers, inducing a sigh. "Trevor, why would your college girlfriend make me uncomfortable? I think it's really sweet that you had such a nice girlfriend after Mean Girl Regina George."

They laughed. "Tell me about her…"

"I don't know… she was just sweet and kind and despite my best friend Jeremy, Sophie's now husband, by the way," he told her with a smile, telling me she was too plain looking, "I just thought she was beautiful. I found out that she barely spoke French, she was just trying to find ways to spend more time with me, she was giving herself a crash course from a book each day before giving me a lesson," he laughed.

Olivia laughed too, "that's dedication, go Nicole. I like her tenacity."

"We went on a few casual dates and then as usual, Jenna got things going, they came to stay with me for a weekend and did a little match-making and we were together by summer and she wanted to take it slow which was fine, so I was almost 20 before I lost it…" he made a little face, almost as if he was afraid of her reaction.

"Awe, Trev, that's really nice," she smiled, "you did a really nice thing, you waited for her and I know you, you wouldn't have been pushy…"

"Why would I do that? I would never want someone that I loved to feel pressured in to something they didn't want or wasn't ready for?"

Olivia continued to smile at him. "I know that's the logical thing to feel, but that's rare, baby and it just truly makes me love you infinitely more… if that was possible. So we like Nicole… why the break up?"

"Unfortunately, Nic had always planned on going back to Canada. I had a lot going on after Dad passed…we were both a little frustrated because neither of us wanted to meet halfway and I was undecided as to whether or not I move back here for good— we tried long distance for like 2 months and it fizzled."

"Did you see a long term future with her?" Olivia wondered.

"In hindsight, no. At 20 years old, absolutely yes, this was the girl I lost my virginity to - the excitement of having sex for the first time, remember that? When you go at it at every opportunity you can because it's new and you want to get really good at it?"

They both laughed.

"Kind of…"

"I think we were just too different. We wanted very different things, but we were kind to each other and it didn't end badly and we kept in contact for a couple years after and that's it…"

"That's nice… I like that story, even if it wasn't supposed to be forever, it was important for you at that time in your life."

He nodded and smiled. "What about you? Who was the lucky little fool who got your V-card?"

"You did, you were the first guy I ever slept with," she winked at him.

He laughed, "you're funny… you must have read a lot of books to get as good as you were on your first time."

"I did, I've had all this time to prepare…"

He felt her pulling her legs out of his grasp and tucking them beneath her and realised she was uncomfortable with the way the conversation turned on her. "You don't have to tell me if it'll make it too weird…"

She took a measured breath and sat up straight. "No, I should tell you…" she replied, avoiding his eyes. "I was deeply infatuated with a student of my mothers. He was 21 and I was fifteen or sixteen and he said and did all the right things that most groomers do," she shrugged. "I was just looking for a way out of home life. So I believed him when he said we could get married and runaway…" she smiled but she knew Trevor didn't find any of that story at all funny.

"So yeah, I slept with him. I thought I was in love and maybe he thought he was too, I don't know. My mother intervened and shocker, he abandoned me. Since then, he's had several accusations of improper conduct with women many, many years his junior and it kind of proved what I always wondered…"

"Liv, I'm so sorry about that…"

She shook her head, "its okay, I didn't want to tell you because this conversation was nice and light and fluffy and I don't want it to take a dark turn. It is what it is and it's okay."

"No but… this guy promised to take you away from that situation with your Mom when you were a kid and you believed him and he broke your heart and just left you… you were a kid, a baby still…"

"Don't," she shook her head, "let's not go there… not now…it's too nice of a day and I'm in too good of a mood. I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you. I was just trying to be brave."

"I'm glad you told me, but… we don't have to talk about it anymore. Do you want me to tell you about the contractor plans instead?"

The panic that seemed to overtake Liv disbursed immediately when she realised Trevor knew how to handle it when she dropped something a little heavy. He knew that it wasn't the best or the healthiest for her if he pressed her til she burst open with emotion about it. It was silently understood that she needed time to process her guilt for telling him things that could make him feel bad.

He knew they would revisit it later.

"Okay so…" he held out his arm so she could scoot in to him, "they're starting work on the digging next week, they will dig the pool out in a day, then they install it, do the chemical cleaning work to get all the dirt and junk out of it, then it gets filled, there's some cementing and filtration things to look at and that's the longest part of the process, it takes about 1 -2 weeks to settle and then we can fill it and swim — so the best part is that it'll be less than a month away and soon you'll be able to swim in privacy if you like."

Olivia smiled. "And all the other stuff — the rock work and stuff?"

"Yeah that'll be installed with the pool, we just have to get the external stuff done but that'll be left to Joey and I, because Joe has a good friend who did their pool and then after that baby, we're getting a fence around the back and we'll work on some gardens and stuff…"

"I'm going to go back to speak to the Captain and I think I'm going to tell him that I'll work up to 28 weeks and then I'll be done until the end of my maternity leave."

Trevor nodded. "Okay baby, whatever you need to do, I'll support it. Are you gonna need to go back to the city for work soon?"

"Yeah, I think that I'm gonna have to think about going back in the next two weeks at least."

"That's fair. I'll organise things here and will come with you."

She smiled at him. "Thanks… can we start making some plans for the nursery as well?"

"Yeah baby, of course, we'll get some furniture too. Jenna has some stuff that she has extra of because of the twins, but if you want to get new stuff, we can do that."

"I love you so much, thanks for being such an amazing man," she blurted out, "I hope you always know how much I love and cherish you."

"Oooft, you are wonderful, the love of my life… I feel like a very lucky man…"

She kissed his lips repeatedly before lingering her last one and pulling away.