Nothing could be better for Mordecai. It seemed that the world opened every door for him. For once, everything in his life was in order. His job was stable, his friends were there for him, and he had the most astounding girlfriend on the planet. It had been a year since he and Margaret began going out. Nothing could be better for him. Nothing could go wrong.
"Dude, I'm totally going through with it tonight!" Mordecai said excitedly to Rigby.
"Pfft, that's what you've been saying for the last week… and the week before… and the week before," the raccoon replied.
"I know, I know, but tonight is going to be the night. It's our anniversary. That's, like, the most romantic night possible," Mordecai replied.
"You keep saying that, but it never happens. This is turning out longer than the time it took to finally kiss her. And what even makes you think she's going to say yes? It's only been a year man," Rigby said pessimistically.
"She's got to, she's got to…" Mordecai said silently to himself. It's true, they had been dating for only a year, but Mordecai felt that what they had was beyond special. So special that he was willing to risk everything, their entire relationship, for one question.
"Maaaan, why does Benson have to make US clean the boats! It's like THE worst job in the park!" Rigby groaned and complained.
"Dude, just stopped complaining. I hate this as much as you, but it's got to get done. Let's just do this as quickly as possible." Mordecai replied
"Why?" Rigby said, now with a cheesy tone in his voice, "So get to your daaaaattteeee?"
"Dude shut up!" Mordecai responded as he playfully nudged the weak raccoon. Rigby tried to push him back, but Mordecai barely moved an inch. Shaking his head, he said "Dude, when was the last time you worked out? Seriously. Now come on man, help me finish"
Rigby got a running start this time, he hated being made fun of. It happened so often that he was outright hostile if anyone tried to joke with him. He thought it was time to prove that he was the strong one after all. The running start was enough to do it, Rigby sent Mordecai flying off the dock into the lake. "Hmmm hmm hmm, now who's the weaker one?" Rigby said triumphantly with his arms crossed.
" Dangit Rigby," Mordecai thought to himself underwater, " Always such a… " Something had caught his attention, he lost his train of thought. He heard what sounded like whispers. Something in the water was pulling him in. Everything seemed so… cloudy. The blue jay felt an overwhelming sense of disparity and a lack of drive. Just then, Mordecai saw what appeared to be a brown book bag resting at the bottom of the lake. " What the heck? "
Mordecai swam down to it and grabbed one of the straps. He tried tugging on it, but the bag hardly budged. Then he remembered where he was, he started to feel his lungs tightening. He tried to leave the bag and swim back up, but something stopped him. There was something almost pleading about the bag, imploring him to stay. Despite being underwater, there grew a deafening white noise. Mordecai was losing air quickly, yet every fiber in his being forced him to stay, to sink downwards. Everything faded as he slipped under.
He woke up, coughing and spitting out water. His vision blurred; he could see himself being dragged out of the water. "Dude, are you okay?! Come on Mordecai, say something!" Rigby said frantically as he looked over his friend. Mordecai could see Rigby was exhausted and out of breath. Rigby could swim, quite well in fact, but even he had a hard time getting Mordecai out of the lake.
Mordecai coughed heavily, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for that."
"Forget it, like it never happened. Dude I am so sorry, I didn't-"
"It's okay man. Like you said: 'forget it'" It wasn't until then that he realized that he was still holding on to the bag. He found himself gazing at it strongly. There was something attracting about it. No no no, it wasn't the bag, it was what was inside the bag. But just what was inside? "Mordecai… Mordecai…" He could hear it, something, calling to him…
"… Mordecai… Mordecai!" It took Mordecai a minute to snap out of it and notice his friend trying to get his attention. "Dude, are you alright?" Rigby asked, concerned.
"Ye-yeah, I'm fine. A little shaken, but I'm fine." Mordecai said, but he didn't seem to believe it himself. Rigby on the other hand was content with the answer.
"Dude, what's with the bag?" Rigby asked.
"I-I'm not sure, I just, I don't know…" This just confused Rigby even more. He curiously tried to reach out for the bag. Mordecai spotted this and yanked the book out of Rigby's reach. "Dude, finder's keepers" Mordecai said with a smirk. What just happened left both of them shaken, he had to at least try to lighten the mood up.
"Hey, I saved your life!" Rigby said pointing his finger at Mordecai.
"You said 'Forget it, like it never happened'" Mordecai slyly replied, the biggest grin on his face.
"UGGGGHHHH, dude just let me see it!"
"Later."
"Wha-"
"I said not now!"
The raccoon stood there a moment, startled by his friend's sudden hostility. For those brief seconds, it was like he was a completely different person. Rigby shook his head and headed the other direction saying, "Whatever. Just come on and help me clean the stupid boats"
Rigby was already running ahead. "Yeah I'll be there in a minute!" Mordecai called back. He took one last inspection of the bag. Simon… The inside of the flap bore the printing, " This bag is property of Simon Petrikov. If found please return to…" The last part of the inscription was faded away. But how did it get to the bottom of the lake? And who was this Simon?
Mordecai opened it and looked inside. It was completely dry. But how was that even possible?
All there was inside was a crown, a book, and a couple VHS tapes…
"Come on, man! You have to know something about the Mushroom War."
"Dude, I already told you, no one knows what happened. Almost every record was destroyed. Not to mention, who even cares about a bunch of smelly humans? No offense," Jake said as he entered the tree house with his adopted brother, Finn.
Finn called out, "Beemo, we're home!"
The aforementioned robot sat sitting facing the window with a miniature tuxedo on and covered in poorly done make-up. A trail of lipstuck haphazardly covered its mouth. The eye shadow was unspeakably messy and the poor bot's face was almost exclusively black.
"Hey Beemo," Finn said, oddly undisturbed by the awful catastrophe on the living bot's face, "What's with the fancy getup?"
"Ohh, Finn. I was just teaching Football here how to be beautiful and ask out everyone to the ball," Beemo replied as he turned back to his reflection in the window.
"Hmm, that's ba-nah-nahs. Well, good luck!"
"Thank you Finn. Now Football, you have to be careful with the eye-liner. Apply it carefully, like this!" Screech Beemo made a massive slash across his face with the pencil.
The reflection replied back, "You mean like this?" Another terrible streak was made.
Finn came to the kitchen to see Jake working over his stove. He already had a pan of meatloaf sitting in the oven. Meanwhile, he worked on an appetizer for them.
"Hmmm…" Jake pondered to himself. The master chef picked up a can of whipped cream. He sprayed it all over a pan which he then placed over the stove. Immediately the cream liquefied before turning a caramel brown, then burning. "Ooooooooww." This was new. He then added some macaroni without the cheese.
"Hey Jake," Finn said, "So you don't think anyone here has any idea about the Mushroom War?"
"Argh, this again? Finn: let it goooooooooooooo. Take it out of your mind. You don't want it to fester up, do ya? The last thing we need is some festering up in here."
Finn nervously objected, "Whaaat? Psshhttt. Pssssssssssssshhhhhttt. Come on Jake, I'm just curious. That's all. Just want to know 'bout my peeps. You catching my lingo?"
"I guess…"
"Actually, I was gonna head out and talk to Peebubs about it."
"But what about meatload night?" Jake whined.
"Just save me piece for breakfast."
Finn was about to hop down the ladder when Jake stopped him, "Finn… you still messed up over that Flame Princess biz?"
Finn darted his eyes, "Heheh, come on man. You know me better than that."
The pan caught fire but neither of them really cared. Jake waved, "See you later. Just come back eventually!"
Finn left the confines of the tree house. "Hmmph. He's the one janked up. I don't understand what's so bad about learning about humans. Well, might as well check with PB. She's like a hundred gillion years old. She's got to know what's up."
Our young hero ventured his way to the Candy Kingdom. As he entered the palace, he was surprised with what he found. Inside, every princess was there in their pajamas with mattresses all over the floor. They were giggling until they saw Finn.
"Uhhh, Princess Bubblegum?" Finn asked.
Lumpy Space Princess started, "Ugh! What is he freaking doing here? This is, like, killing my mojo!"
"Finn, what are you doing here? This is the annual weekly royal princess sleepover. Only princesses allowed," Princess Bubblegum said wearing her pokadot pajamas.
"Fear not princesses, I didn't come to ruin your party. I just wanted to ask PB a question."
She smiled, "Oh, and what would that be Finn?"
"Well… I was wondering… Do you have anything about the Mushroom War?"
PB was a little shocked at the seriousness of the question but switched her demeanor, "I'm sorry Finn. I haven't found any records about the War itself. And the ruins that are left out there are too dangerous; remember what happened to James?"
He seemed let-down, "Yeah, I understand. What about you P-Bubs? Do you personally remember anything?"
"I-pt-ugh, Finn, I'm sorry but you have been here too long and need to go."
"But-!"
Before Finn could object, Muscle Princess grabbed him and gave him a firm kick. He crashed through a nearby window.
"Auf Wiedersehen!" She said bubbly to mid-air Finn before turning back to the others, "Now who's ready for the grand pillow cage deathmatch?!"
He landed hard into the bushes outside. Finn took a moment to brush off the dirt and grass. "Lousy princesses," he muttered.
"Yeah, tough crowd isn't it?"
Sitting in the bushes with him was the Ice King with a pair of binoculars. He did not even look back at Finn as his eyes were still on the party.
"Ice King? What the flump?"
He explained, "Look, I've tried to get into their party every year and they always kick me out! Lousy, no good, sexy hating… Anyway, what's up in your head noodle?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mmmeeeaaannn that you don't look right Finn. Something going on? You're not still sore about that demon princess are ya?"
Finn frowned, "It's Flame King now, and no. I'm not!"
"Hmph, good. She's a crazy psychopath even by my standards… Care to join me?"
Finn crouched alongside the Ice King. Maybe he would know something? Finn spoke, "Ice King…? Do you, happen to remember anything about the Mushroom War?"
"No Finn, I don't. Heh, lucky too. Must've been terrible to live through! Bunch of chumps."
"But-! You did live through it!"
Ice King was shocked, "WHAT?! And nobody told me?! How was I supposed to know?"
Finn groaned, "I'm going to find someone else who knows."
"Good luck, Finn," Ice King said without even looking at the boy, "Hmm, come to think of it, is there anything I can remember? Well, it's probably not that important anyway. Still, I can't shake this feeling in the back of my head…"
