Hello everyone! Here we are, the first chapter of season 4! I've been doing a lot of art as well as a lot of song searching to inspire me for these chapters. I never really got any feedback from you guys on how you feel about the song inserts. Obviously, I don't do it all too often but I know that I sometimes don't care much for music lyrics added to a story but since Miraculous is based on a TV show when I read it, it still plays out as such in my mind making music appropriate. There isn't a lot of Lucy in this chapter as it mainly focuses on Luka and Marinette, and the next chapter will focus mainly on Adrien and Kagami.
Marinette looked over the diagram she had of the old miracle box describing the miraculous inside and their placement. She had never really understood how the box worked and it always felt like something she was never supposed to really ask about when Master Fu had been around. Now that she was the new guardian, Marinette couldn't help but wish she had.
"So they all live in there?" She asked the next best option.
"Yes," Tikki answered while trying on some hats Marinette had made her. "except for Nooroo and Duusu, who are being held captive by the bad guys. And Fluff who is with Lucy."
"Master Fu never let them out?"
"Only Kwamis like me who have a holder like you can go out into the human world, Marinette," Tikki explained.
"But... isn't it a bit cramped in there?" Marinette asks, taking the box in her hands.
"Oh no! There's a whole parallel world inside! Of course, being out here is much more interesting. You, humans, are so inventive!"
Marinette notices a button on the top of the box and pushes it, causing all the kwamis to be freed. In surprise, she falls over. "I thought they couldn't get out?" She says to Tikki who smiles at the sight of all her friends.
"Now that you're the Guardian, the box has become just like you! Full of surprises! That's amazing!"
OoOooOoOoOo
Luka was a patient guy. When Marinette said that she was ready to try things out with him after she got back from her trip to New York at the beginning of the summer, Luka had taken it in stride. He knew that there was no changing your heart overnight and he was willing to hold Marinette's hand while she figured it all out. It had been two months now and in general, things were great between them, but there were still some things that left room for improvement. One of those things was that as much as Marinette tried to say otherwise she had yet to totally get over the model guy from her class. As much was made evident when Luka received a text from his lovely girlfriend. The text was a picture of her room. Specifically, a wall in her room that had numerous pictures of Adrien.
He raised a brow as he entered the bakery entrance of Marinette's home. He had been on his way over to pick her up for their movie date. The one they had rescheduled for today after she had forgotten about it the day before. Instead of texting her back, Luka hit the call button.
"Wow, Luka! Hi."
"Hi, and thanks for the pictures." Luka replied casually. He did figure the photo was a mistake, after all, why would she send that to anyone, let alone him? That didn't mean he wouldn't mess with her about it just a little
"What do you mean "thanks"?"
"Thanks for the photos of your bedroom and of Adrien."
"Ah, my room! Yeah, I- uh- it's full of photos of Adrien because I uh... I'm using them for fashion pics for my blog and I need your opinion on them because I know you have great taste, Adrien."
Yeah, there was still a little work to be done on that end.
"My name is Luka." He said with a knowing smirk.
"Haha yes of course, Adrie- I mean, Luka. You're Luka, obviously, hehe, because you're you, and I am me, Marinette. Hehe, uh, I'm so sorry, it's just that I've been so busted- uh I mean, busy!"
Luka thought about poking at her some more but chose against it. They were on a schedule after all.
"No problem, Marinette, it's cool. So you read"?"
"Ready for what?" Typical.
"Well... our date."
"Marinette, Luka is waiting for you!" Sabine called up to which Luka got a squeak of surprise from Marinette as well as a "coming!".
OoOoOoOo
Marinette felt guilt come over her as she told the Kwami's to behave while she went out, not wanting to keep her boyfriend waiting any longer than he already had. First, her wall of Adrien gets sent to Luka, and now she forgot their date. Could this day get any worse?
It could, as it turned out.
There the two were, in the theater about to watch Jagged Stones' first movie, "Crocodile Heart". They had been playing the lyric game, where one starts the first few words of a lyric, and the other has to finish the lyric and name the song. They had gone back and forth, Luka taking the win with a score of twenty to twelve. Marinette found it to be the perfect opportunity to give Luka the signed Jagged Stone guitar pick she had acquired for him, and Luka took that as an opportunity to give Marinette a bonus round.
The Lyric? "Under the moonlight, by the sea..." Determined to remember and earn her point Marinette thought hard and in realization shouted her answer.
"Under the moonlight, by the sea...KISS ME!"
The others in the theater gave her odd looks, and the pigtailed girl slouched down in embarrassment but Luka only smiled.
"Okay, I mean, if you want to." Oh how smooth he could be.
"I do...want to," Marinette responded and the two leaned in. Then the day got worse and an Akuma attack presented itself.
Marinette hated leaving Luka in that theater. She had given a lame excuse about being thirsty and going to get some water, ignoring the drinks they had gotten prior to finding their seats. What else could she do though? She couldn't tell him where she was really going to why. Especially now that she was the guardian.
Luka frowned as he watched Marinette run out the door of the theater room and sighed, sitting back in his seat and watching the movie. This was the other part of their relationship that needed improvement. Even more so than Marinette's feelings for Adrien. Marinette had a bad habit of flaking out on him at random. Rather it was forgetting plans or leaving in the middle of them. She always had an excuse, but it was always a terrible one and rarely ever was it the truth.
Luka tried not to push. He was a firm believer that honesty was something that should be given freely to the people you trust. Whatever Marinette was hiding, he was sure she had a reason. He just wished she would let him in on it. He would help her in any way he could if she would just let him. However, every time it happened, which was more often than not these days, Luka could feel his patience slip. It wasn't fair of her to keep him in the dark, but it didn't feel fair to pressure her to tell him the truth.
On a particularly low day, Luka had gone to his mother and explained his feelings. It was odd. His mother had always been on the blunt side, but when he said his piece, she almost seemed hesitant. Almost like she was afraid to say the wrong this or contradict herself. She had told him that women are more attuned to feelings than men are, and if they're not being truthful, more often than not it's because they think the truth might hurt your feelings. But it doesn't mean they don't love you. Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that's the thing, he and Marinette are a couple, and couples can't function without trust.
Day after day a new scenario occurred and Marinette was forced to blow Luka off and the blue-haired boy was starting to feel like he was in a one-sided relationship. Today he and Kitty Selection gathered to have a small concert on his houseboat with some of their friends. Luka had been working on a song and thought today would be a perfect opportunity to get out his emotions. After all, he always did make more sense that way.
"I want to dedicate this song to Marinette, a girl..." Luka frowned as he looked at the small crowd of faces. Nino, Alya, Mylene, and Lucy all sat with smiles but Marinette was nowhere to be seen. "who isn't here as usual." He spoke dejectedly. Lucy frowned and nudged Alya.
"Where is Marinette?" Alya mirrored Lucy's expression as she shrugged before bringing her attention back to the band.
(Leaving my love behind Lewis Capaldi)
I don't know how we got to where we are
So far removed I don't know where to start
'Cause I've been away for far too long
But I implore you please hold on, I beg you please hold on
Love don't come easy to us
And it's killing me to hang on
And hope it's enough
Lucy jumped slightly as Marinette practically knocked her over while trying to take a seat, clearly having rushed over. Lucy shot her a glance but Marinette didn't meet it as she gave Luka a wave. Luka though happy to see Marinette did in fact make it, couldn't bring himself to smile back but instead continued his song, hoping that maybe, just maybe Marinette might hear him.
So I was just wondering
Could you tell me is it all a waste of time?
Are you leaving my love behind?
Baby say the word and let me know
You gotta give me something
I swear that I won't try to change your mind
If you're leaving my love behind
Baby say the word and let me go
The intensity in his gaze took Marinette's breath away. She could feel him. Every part of him. His soul was sewn to hers. His heated blood flowed through her veins. She'd thought that she had been in love with Adrien, and she was, but not like this. Luka stood out of touch from Marinette both literally and figuratively speaking, but there was no part of her that was not his.
We used to wait up and talk for hours on end
And it's got me thinking that lately something's changed
'Cause I've been feeling you leaving
Cracks in conversations way too long
I'm barely holding on
Love don't come easy to us
And it's killing me to hang on
And hope it's enough
So I was just wondering
Could you tell me is it all a waste of time?
Are you leaving my love behind?
Baby say the word and let me know
You gotta give me something
I swear that I won't try to change your mind
If you're leaving my love behind
Baby say the word and let me go
Just let me go
Let me go-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Just let me go
Just let me go-oh-oh-oh
Baby say the word and let me go
OoOoOoOoO
Their friends stand and clap and cheer in praise. Nino runs over to Adrien, showing him his phone. "I got it all on video dude! You guys were awesome!"
"I wasn't Nino." Adrien criticized himself. "I messed up the intro."
Lucy rolls her eyes. "You did great, and honestly, even if you did mess up, Luka stole the show anyway. Beautiful song...though, a little sad." Her eyes shifted to Luka who wouldn't meet her gaze.
"We can go over it again if you want, Adrien?" Ivan suggested to which the others seemed to agree, but Kagami called out that it was time for them to depart. They had a birthday party to attend.
"Five more minutes?" Adrien asks sheepishly to which Kagami shakes her head. Their parents didn't know they were even there, they couldn't be late.
"Well… I'll be better next time, I promise. See you guys." Adrien spoke, hurrying past his friends. Lucy watched him go before making her way over to Marinette who stood looking off the edge of the boat and into the water.
"It really is a beautiful song," Lucy said, leaning her back against the wall, her forearms resting on the edge. Marinette nodded in agreement.
"I know." Lucy looked over towards Luka who met her eyes briefly before going back to his conversation with Ivan.
"I gotta ask..." Lucy said, getting Marinette to look over at her. "I spoke to Luka when I first got here. Casually I had asked how things were going between you two and do you know what he said to me?"
"Uh..." Marinette stuttered. "No."
"He said: I don't know," Lucy informed, her head turning so that her eyes could meet Marinette's. "Wanna tell me what that's about?"
Marinette's heart pounded in her chest at the information being brought to her. Again, she stuttered out an excuse. As honestly as she could.
"I- Well, you see-" She struggled. "I've just been really busy lately and I have had to cancel on Luka a lot...or I forget our plans."
"Busy doing what?" Marinette gaped at Lucy a moment before naturally becoming defensive but trying her best to remain nonchalant.
"Things! This and that! Life stuff. It just happens. I shouldn't have to explain myself. People get busy sometimes you know and-" Lucy held up her hand to stop Marinette from rambling on any further.
"Marinette, I don't know if you are aware but everyone on this boat notices when you run off or bail and come back with some crazy excuse. Sometimes it's understandable but most of the time it's not. We don't pry though, because, at the end of the day, you are right. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. But Luka is your boyfriend, is he not?"
"Yes! Of course!" Marinette whispered harshly as she sent a glance at the boy in question.
"Well, he is going to be a little more insistent. Why? Because he loves you, and he wants you to trust him enough to tell him what has you running off at random."
"I always tell him-"
"I am well aware you tell him something, but he is well aware that it's usually bullshit, so either start being honest with the guy or be a better liar. Preferably the first option."
Marinette sighs and drops her head. "You don't understand."
"You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand how you can have this person in your life who is so openly crazy about you, so honest, and accepting, and not feel like you can tell him things. It doesn't make sense to me, but something tells me you won't be explaining it." Lucy counters, only to get silence from the girl beside her.
"Do you love him?" She then asks, and Marinette shoots her head back up to look at her in disbelief.
"How can you even-?"
"Do you love him, yes or no?"
"I do," Marinette answered honestly.
"Then start acting like it. You gotta give him something."
Marinette fiddled with her thumbs as she looked at Lucy. "It's not going to be enough." Lucy's brows knitted together as she looked at her friend. "What I can give him...I'm afraid it won't be enough."
"Marinette..." Lucy spoke, only to be suddenly slapped on the arm by the pigtailed girl. "Ow! Marinette, what the hell?"
"Sorry! Mosquito! Man, they are out like crazy tonight huh! I know! I'll go get us to bug repellent! I'll be right back!" Marinette spat out before dashing away from Lucy who watched after her quizzically.
Alya who had also noticed Marinette run off wandered over to Lucy with a raised brow.
"What was that about?"
Lucy looks down at her arm and inspects it with uncertainty. "Bug spray?"
OoOoOo
She had left again. She didn't have a choice. And it ate away at her. Marinette stood with Luka under one of the many bridges of the canal as she tried to once again explain away her absence.
"I'm sorry about earlier. There were mosquitoes on the boat, I thought we needed some insect repellent but the drug store was closed so I had to-"
"Shh," Luka stopped her. " listen, the song of the water. If you listen carefully at this very spot under the bridge, you'll hear a melody." Marinette closes her mouth and listens carefully. Surely enough she could hear exactly what he was talking about and the pair smiled at one another.
"You know, my father left when I was pretty young and my mom would never bring herself to tell me why. So when I just couldn't deal with it all, I would take refuge here and the melody of the water would console me. What about you, Marinette? Where do you go when you disappear?"
Marinette frowned at his question, and before she could get out a word, Luka continued.
"You tell me, I'll accept it." He assured. "If you're still in love with Adrien, I'll understand. I won't be jealous you know."
Her heart tightened at his words. Marinette wished it was that simple. That the only secret she was keeping was that she still harbored feelings for Adrien. But Adrien wasn't the problem. Sure, she wasn't totally over the boy, but Marinette loved Luka, she truly believed that. And it broke her heart to realize Luka didn't know how much.
"That's not it, not at all." She said as Luka placed his hands on her arms and looked down at her, seemingly ready for whatever it was that she was keeping from him.
"Whatever it is, I just want it to be the honest truth."
She stood straight and still, her arms at her side. Her eyebrows had knitted together in uncertainty. Her bluebell eyes came slowly to Luka's. The connection was so intense that it threatened to drain his sense of self. He felt that he had always known her, that she had always been a part of him, that her needs were his needs. She held him with her gaze as surely as a grip of iron would, searching his eyes as if searching his soul, seeking an answer to something. I am here to help you, he said in his mind. He meant it more than any thought he had ever had.
"The truth, Luka… is the only thing I can't tell you."
Her eyes pleaded with him to understand, to try. Under that gaze, Luka had no option but to sit and stare at the girl in front of him. His pupils dilated until the blue irises were like rings of an eclipsed moon. Marinette watched him, chewing her bottom lip and waiting. And Luka, at that moment felt broken. He was so sure she would trust him enough to give him the honesty he craved from her. Yet, as it turned out, he was wrong. As he stood his ground, a piece of his heartfelt as if it had chipped away and an Akuma and its Amok fluttered in instead as they attached to the neckless Luka had made out of the guitar pick Marinette had given him a few days prior.
"Truth, I am ShadowMoth. I'm giving you the power to force people to tell you their most sacred secrets."
Luka gripped his head at the sound of the villain in his head. "Truth needs to be shared, not taken by force, ShadowMoth!"
"Shadow Moth?" Marinette spoke in concern. "No! Luka, please resist, I am so sorry!"
"Why should you resist when she doesn't trust you?"
"Marinette does trust me!"
"I do! Of course, I do!"
"If she trusted you, then she would tell you the truth!" Upon hearing this, Luka falls to his knees. He doesn't want to become one of ShadowMoths puppets, but his heart pounded in agreement with the words being shouted in his mind. "Accept my power and you will know everything. And all I ask of you in return is to expose Ladybug and Chat Noir's little secrets."
Knowing his emotions would win he warned Marinette to run. Marinette watches, horrified, that Luka is akumatized and runs away. Luka transforms into Truth by the Akuma. He wears a sapphire bluish-black full-bodysuit with a hidden wedge on his feet which covers all of his body with dark grayish cornflower blue accents on the chest, shoulders, and around the eye symbol on both of his knees. He has three pupil-less eyes and they are cornflower bluish-white, his 3rd eye is on his forehead, and carries an eye necklace on his chest, the akumatized version of the guitar pick Marinette gave him that he made into a necklace.
"In addition to your power, you will be aided by Light Eye." Light Eye appears, as basically a giant angry eyeball sentimonster whose colors match Truth. "This sentimonster will be under your control. It's time to expose the truth."
OoOooOoOoOo
Truth jumped onto his houseboat and quickly got to work, sticking down first on Marinette's closest friend, Alya.
"Tell me the truth, what is Marinette's secret!"
"She is.. in love with Adrien Agreste."
"That's not a secret!" Light Eye lets Alya go and immobilizes Mylène. Truth then shoots his beam at her. "Tell me the truth, what is Marinette's secret?"
"Marinette is in love with Adrien Agreste."
"She must have another secret!" Truth jumps down and makes his way towards Rose who backs away from him.
"Marinette doesn't have any secrets because she's the most honest girl in the whole world." Rose tries to explain and before Rose can be immobilized, Juleka protects her and is immobilized instead. Truth shoots his beam at her.
"What is Marinette's secret?"
"She loves Adrien, I guess." Truth growls in frustration. How can not a single person know what Marinette was hiding?
"Luka stop!" Lucy shouts, causing the villain to spin around and immobilize her. "You're wasting your time Luka. She doesn't tell me anything either." Truth ignores her and shoots his beam at her anyway.
"What is Marinette's secret?" It was a strange feeling. Half of Lucy's mind was screaming to say one thing while the other half screamed another. Truth's eyes widened slightly at her hesitance. She was actually trying to fight it. "You do know something! Lucy! What is Marinette's secret!?"
"Marinette is...afraid..." Lucy struggled out, piquing Truth's interest.
"Afraid of what!?"
"It won't be enough."
Ladybug's eyes widen as she watches the interaction from above while trying to get in touch with Chat Noir. "I'm the one waiting for you this time!" She says before hanging up her yo-yo and jumping up to confront Truth.
"Enough!" She shouts before he could question Lucy further. Truth starts shooting his beams at Ladybug. She dodges them but notices the guitar pick necklace) "Luka?" She then gets immobilized by Light Eye and hit by Truth's beam.
(Here we go again. Marinette...babe...you watched Luka get Akumatized. Literally watched. Why are you surprised enough to be taken off guard right now? I don't understand-I-how?-wha-ugh.)
"Now, you must tell the truth to anyone who asks you a question. I'll do the honors. Who are you, Ladybug?" Truth asks
" I… am…"
"A super swimmer!" Chat Noir interrupts and pushes Ladybug into the water with him in order to not let Ladybug tell him her real identity.
"Pull them out, Truth! Pull them out now!"
Truth scans the houseboat and grits his teeth to find Lucy nowhere in sight. Naturally, he wants to go find her and get more information out of her but ShadowMoths voice echoing in his head stops him.
"I must know Ladybug's secret identity!"
"Hey! what are you doing on my ship, pirate?" Anark asks as she comes out with a tray of drinks in hand. Truth quickly has Light Eye immobilize her and hits her with his beam.
"It's time to tell me the truth, Mom! Where is my father and why did he leave!?"
Do you know what the worst thing about being a parent is? That you're always judged by your worst moments. You can do a million things right, but if you do one single thing wrong you're forever that parent. Parents are defined by their mistakes. Truth didn't know what he expected to his mother to say, but out of all the guesses he could have made, not a single one would have been the words.
"Which one?"
Truth fumbled in his thoughts and blinked at the woman in front of him.
"I...what?! Which one!? I only have one father! Why would you say that!?"
"Because you have a biological father and an adoptive one." Truth imagined that if his mother was answering these questions of her own free will it would sound different. More of a confession and less like a fact-stating robot. Truth could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage as he asked.
"Who is my biological father?"
"Jagged Stone." The air seemed to knock right out of his lungs at the name. His head turned back to Juleka who met his gaze with just as much confusion.
"Then...my adoptive father is..."
"Hugo Aubert" His mother confirmed. That was the name of the man he knew as his father. His only father. He had so many questions. His whole life felt like one giant lie now.
"Why!? Why would you keep that from me? From us?!" He shouted, referring to his sister.
"It's better this way."
"Better for who!?"
"Everyone."
Truth snarled in frustration, taking a drum from Ivan's hands and tossing it into the canal.
"Sorry, Shadow Moth, but that truth can't be put on hold!"
OoOoOoO
Jagged Stone sat on the roof of the Grand Paris Hotel practicing his song for the Prince's birthday party that evening when Truth came to confront him.
"Oh Prince Ali you're one year older but to us, you're still a real rock and roller" he sang, only for a beam of light to be cast down upon him, immobilizing his body. "Hey! Easy on the spotlight buddy, it's only a rehearsal."
"I am not your buddy. I'm here to find out if I'm your son." Truth gritted as he approached the rock star.
"Uh, depends on who you are."
"Hey, I wanna play too. Truth or dare?" Chat Noir announced, from the railing. Ladybug soon joined, Chat's belt wrapped around her head so she wouldn't spill any secrets.
"Truth and dare. Light Eye, freeze Ladybug and Chat Noir!" Light Eye distracts Ladybug and Chat Noir so Truth can talk. "My name is Luka Couffaine and I have the right to know the truth!" He then shoots his beam at Jagged Stone. " Are you or are you not my father?!
Jagged had practiced this introduction in his head before. He always figured the truth would come out eventually. He simply never picture it would go down like this. "Luka Couffaine? Yes, I am your father."
Shock shot through Truth but also through Ladybug and Chat Noir. Enough so for Lighteye to freeze Chat.
"Why would you hide this from me, and why did you abandon me?! Why would you let some other man take your place?!"
"It's not that simple. Mine and your mother's relationship was one of passion. She was already with your father...with Hugo when...It's complicated. I was too lame to take care of a kid. I'm sorry, son, but I spent my whole life on tour. I live in hotels with a crocodile. I could never be the father you'd need me to be. The man you called your father was everything you needed. Besides, it made for a super cool song! Have you heard "My guitar is my only family"?"
The saying goes: The truth will set you free.
But odds are it will piss you off first.
"Why don't you write a song about THIS?!" Truth snarls, clearly still angry that Jagged left him, in his rage, Truth tosses Jagged into an alleyway; Ladybug and Chat Noir leap after him.
"Follow them!" ShadowMoth shouts in his head.
"Sorry Shadow Moth, I still have one last truth to uncover."
"How can I be sure that it's really the last one?" The villain questions.
"Because I always tell the truth!"
OoOoOoOoOoOo
Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.
"I don't want to lie to you, Luka. I don't think I can- I mean... maybe we should…" Marinette could feel herself choking on her words. She didn't want it to go this way. The end of a relationship is not always a failure. Sometimes all the love in the world is not enough to save something. In these cases, it is not a matter of fault from either person. Some things cannot be, it's as simple as that. She was caught off guard as Luka gently took her in his arms and hugged her tightly.
"When you're ready, I'll be here, Marinette."
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
"'Cause I was just wondering
Could you tell me is it all a waste of time?
Are you leaving my love behind?
Baby say the word and let me know
You gotta give me something
I swear that I won't try to change your mind
If you're leaving my love behind
Baby say the word and let me go"
Marinette gripped Luka's back, her head taking rest on his shoulder as she tried not to cry. He deserved so much more than she could ever give him.
Just let me go
Just let me go
Baby say the word and let me go
OoOoOoOoO
Luka made his way back to his home, a frown plastered on his face. He had really been hoping it would all work out in the end. His eyes widened as the sight of Jagged Stone came into view, waiting in front of his houseboat. That was right. Ladybug and Chat Noir had explained it to him. Jagged Stone was his biological father. The rock star didn't know the details of what had gone down between his son and Marinette, but he knew the look of heartache when he saw it. Jagged walked over to Luka and carefully pulled him into a hug, one that surprised Luka, but was more than willing to accept.
"If there's one thing I can do, son, it's taking emotions and turning 'em into great songs! Should we write one together?"
Luka offered a kind smile and nodded. That actually sounded great, but the smile was short-lived as his expression became more serious.
"There are some things I need answers to first," Luka said, and although the smile on Jagged's face also faltered, the man nodded.
"Perhaps we should get your mother."
OoOoOoOoOo
Marinette brought her knees to her chest while sitting in her bed that evening as the Kwami all gathered around her.
"As long as Shadow Moth is a threat to the people I love, I can't have a boyfriend. It's too dangerous." She whimpered.
"What is that strange liquid running from her eyes?" Kaalki asks the others. Trixx frowns.
"It's tears. That's so sad!"
"Are we supposed to do something?"
Marinette lays down and curls into a ball. " Just give me a hug."
OoOoOOOoO
The next morning Luka found himself standing in front of about an hour northwest of Paris in a suburban area called Montigny. The home he approached was a simple brown brick house that went up two stories and had its exterior walls covered in an abundance of greenery. He walked up the stone steps to the light blue door and gave a few knocks before his nerves could get the best of him. A woman he did not recognize opened it. She looked around the same age as his mother, maybe a little younger. Her dark hair held loosely in a clip, stands of grey evident in the mix. Her dark eyes large as she looked him over curiously.
"Can I help you?" She asked. Her voice was soft and sweet. Luka cleared his throat.
"Uh, I'm not sure. My name is Luka and I am looking for-"
"Luka..." The woman repeated softly, her curious eyes shifting to that of recognition. Luk'as brows kntted together.
"Yes...I'm sorry do I know you?" The woman blinked and then let out a breathy laugh.
"Oh! No...I just-" She closed her eyes, trying to form the words in her head. "Your father..." She sighed. "My name is Charlotte. I'm...please come in!" Charlotte stepped back and opened the door, allowing Luka inside.
The front door lead into a small corridor that had three different directions to choose from. Luka followed Charlotte in through the one on the right, leading him into their living room. The home was simple. The walls an off-white color while furnished with dark woods and green and blue fabrics on the furniture. The general decor wasn't the past that caught Luka's attention, however. Instead, it was all of the pictures on the walls. Family photos mostly. Many that contained Charlotte, two small girls, and the only face that was familiar to him. His father.
"You're-"
"Your father's wife," Charlotte answered meekly. She walked over to the fireplace mantel in the corner of the room and plucked off a picture frame from it, bringing it over for Luka to look at.
"This was last easter. Those are our two girls. Louise and Ella." Luka ran his thumb over the glass of the photo as he took in the image. Charlotte bit her lip as she looked at the boy, taking a small step away from him.
"Your father told me about you and your sister...I'm surprised she isn't here with you. I always told Hugo that one of these days you two would come around looking for answers."
"How much did he tell you about us?" Luka asked, earning a smile from the dark-haired woman.
"Everything I suppose. He loved you very much. He talked about you all the time."
"Then you know he isn't my father." Luka's eyes shifted from the photo to Charlotte as he handed it back to her. The woman's smile fell at his words. "Even if he was, you don't abandon the people you love." Charlotte didn't speak and Luka didn't give her the time to think up a response. "Where is he, anyway?"
Charlotte shifted uncomfortably. "Luka, I-"
Luka held his hands up to stop her. "I'm not here to fight with him. I promise. But you are right. I need answers. I got my mom's side of the story. Even my biological fathers. But it doesn't add up without his. My father...Hugo...stuck around for not one, but two children who weren't his. He acted as if everything was completely normal until one day he just decided not to anymore and left. I need to understand. Please," He begged. "Tell me where he is."
Life is made of moments and choices. Not all of them matter or have any lasting impact. Skipping class in favor of a taste of freedom, picking a prom dress because of the way it transforms you into a princess in the mirror. Even the nights you steal away from an open window, tiptoe silent to the end of the driveway, where darkened headlights and the pull of something unknown beckon. These are all small choices, really. Insignificant as soon as they're made. Innocent.
Luka walked back onto his houseboat and quietly made his way below deck, wandering over to Juleka's bed, laying back across it with a lough sigh. Juleka, who had been sitting on her bed, silently reading at the time, put down her book and looked her brother over.
"That bad huh?" She muttered. Juleka had opted out of going with Luka to find the man they had for a while called father. She claimed that in all reality, she could hardly remember what the guy looked like. Juleka too, wanted answers, but she couldn't find it in herself to question a man who she no longer knew any more than a stranger on the street and asked him why he couldn't love her enough.
But then.
Then there's a different kind of moment. One when things are irrevocably changed by a choice we make. A moment we will play endlessly in our minds on lonely nights and empty days. One we'll search repeatedly for some indication that what we chose was right, some small sign that tells us the truth isn't nearly as awful as it feels. Or as awful as anyone would think if they knew.
"He's dead," Luka spoke, earning a wide-eyed look from his sister. "I went to his house. His wife answered. She didn't even know about us. I asked her where he was and apparently, he died over a year ago."
Juleka nodded slowly. "Well. I guess we'll just have to accept that. The answer probably would have sucked anyway."
"Yeah, probably." Luka agreed absently as his sister took ahold of his hand and have it a small squeeze. Luka offered her a small smile and squeezed back.
"Luka, I-"
"I'm right here." Luka turned on his heels to find the man in question leaning against the door frame. He, as expected, looked older, but more specifically he looked tired. His own salt and pepper hair tussled in a bead head-like state, his face showing an evident five o'clock shadow. His outfit was a casual button-up and loose slacks with striped slippers on his feet. "I was wondering when you'd come around."
"Just tell me why," Luka responded, trying to keep his expression stone.
"Because you're not my kid," Hugo answered, making Luka's jaw clench. "As much as I tried to make it seem otherwise."
"If you knew that, then why stick around as long as you did?"
"Because I didn't know until after you were born," Hugo told him. "Or did your mother leave that part out?"
Luka looked down. "No, she didn't." He could still see the look of shame on his mother's face when she confessed that fact.
Hugo nodded and pushed his weight off of the door frame, sliding his hands into his pockets.
"I tried with every ounce of my being to look past it. You were my son. I already loved you." Hugo let out a bitter laugh. "But then it happened again. Much like the first time, it started a huge argument between your mother and me."
"So it's moms fault."
Hugo scoffed but shook his head. "Had you asked me that ten years ago I would agree with you. Your mother, she just wouldn't grow up. She want to live in this rock band lifestyle forever and I didn't. We were two people who eventually just living our separate lives together. I stuck around for you. I stuck around for your sister because I knew that dimwit of a rockstar didn't know the first thing about taking care of a kid." A fire seemed to light in Hugo's eyes as he took his trip down memory lane with Luka.
"After Juleka was born I told your mom she needed to quit the band and start acting like a mom and she told me to get lost, so I did." He spoke bitterly. "A few weeks later she calls me saying how she quit but I knew better. I followed the news. She didn't quit, Jagged replaced her with a newer model! She wasn't interested in being Jagged's second choice and as it turns out I wasn't interested in being her's either." Soon the look of resentment on Hugo's features lessened as he let out a sigh. "I changed before she was ready to. That's it."
"That's it," Luka repeated. Hugo sent Luka a small glare.
"What do you want from me kid? I gave you the answers. Sorry if they weren't the ones you were looking for."
"You could have kept in touch." Luka spat. "Things with mom went south. Fine. I get that. I'm not here about you and mom. I'm here about you and me. You and Juleka. You were all we knew and you just left. No explanation, no-"
"No explanation? What kind of explanation would I have been able to give to you at that age, huh? Hey, kid listen pappa has to go. Why? Well, it turns out, your mother couldn't keep her legs shut for her boss, by the way, he's your dad, not me."
"Well, you could have come up with something! You said you loved us."
"I did love you," Hugo answered the frustrated teen. "I loved you until I couldn't stand the sight of you anymore." At those words, Luka felt like he had been sucker-punched.
"Hugo..." Charlotte spoke, but he simply held a hand up for her not to interrupt.
"The bigger you got the more of him I would see in you. In her. It was like some cruel joke the universe was pulling on me. I knew leaving might very well make you hate me one day. Figured it would be easier for both of us if that were the case."
"So that's what I'm supposed to tell Juleka then..."
Hugo gave a careless shrug. "Your sister isn't here. Clearly, she isn't nearly as riddled with these questions as you are. So tell her whatever you want. Tell her you found me, or even that you didn't. Tell her I'm dead for all I care. It shouldn't make a difference. This will be the last time we see one another."
So we explain it to ourselves, justify it enough to sleep. And then we bury it deep, so deep we can almost pretend it never happened. But as much as we wish it were different, the truth is, our worlds are sometimes balanced on choices we make and the secrets we keep.
Okay, there is the chapter. It only took me 30 years. I hope you enjoyed it! Remember to vote and heart and comment! I love reading your thoughts!
