Hey all! Can you believe we only have 2 or 3 chapters left? I cant! But its true. Its all gonna wrap up soon. Kuro Neko is one of those episodes I have a hard time with because the main event that leads to everything, doesn't actually make sense.
In this episode Adrien gets upset because it seems like Ladybug doesn't need him, mainly because she has been calling on other heroes. However, it's not like she ever called on him much before that. Sometimes, yes, but most of the time he just showed up. Why? Because she can't call him if he's not already transformed anyway.
He notices the akuma and goes after it. Sometimes after Ladybug, sometimes even before, but at the end of the day Ladybug doesn't typically summon him. So if he is missing out on helping, that's his problem.
Of course, when he suggests helping collect the miraculous, Ladybug snaps at him, as she has a tendency to do, but that was just the cherry on top of Chat's already bad mindset. Most of the time, Chat's feelings are pretty validated, as Ladybug can be an insensitive prick sometimes, but this time around homeboy hurt his own feelings.
Anyway!
On with the story!
"It appears Ladybug and her team have done it! The Akuma has been captured and Paris is safe once again! Lydia how do things-"
Adrien clicked the tv to pause with a mild annoyance. The past few days it felt like Ladybug had been calling on more of their teammates rather than Chat Noir. At first, he had thought nothing of it, but as time went on Adrien was beginning to wonder if Ladybug simply no longer needed him.
"What's wrong?" Lucy asked from the other side of the couch. Currently the pair sat on Lucy's living room couch, going over their homework together. Since Adrien had announced his relationship with Lucy to his father, he had been given a slightest extra amount of wiggle room when it came to his schedule.
His father had told him that so long as Lucy didn't interfere with any of his work or extra curriculars, Adrien was free to see her when he wished. Though it was evident that his father still didn't take his relationship with Lucy very seriously, Adrien wasn't going to soil his father's generous behavior with arguing about the details.
"Nothing." Adrien said shaking his head. "It's stupid."
"Nothing that causes you grievance is stupid Adrien. Talk to me."
Lucy took the schoolbook she had in her lap and closed it, placing it on the coffee table in front of them and giving Adrien her undivided attention. Adrien sighed, fidgeting with his hands before offering a light shrug.
"Ladybug's been doing a lot of Akuma catching without me is all."
"Okay, what about that bothers you?"
Adrien offered another shrug. "I don't know...I just...what if she doesn't need me anymore?" Lucy gave him an assuring smile, placing a hand on his leg.
"Adrien, Ladybug will always need Chat Noir."
"Really?" Adrien responded skeptically." Because it looks like she's doing just fine without me these days."
"Well...yeah, sure. Sometimes a villain can be taken care of without you, sure. But that doesn't mean Ladybug doesn't need you. Maybe she's just trying to give you some free time. If she has all these other teammates on standby, why not use them from time to time?"
"What if I don't want free time?" Adrien argued, getting up from the couch and pacing the living room. Lucy retracted her hand back into her own lap, frowning after Adrien.
"I'm sorry...?" Adrien paused his pacing at Lucy's words, the annoyed look on his face softening as he walked back over to her, taking her face in his hands.
"No! No, no, no." He said shaking his head. "That's not what I mean. I love having spare time to spend with you. I just-"
"I get it." Lucy cut him off, taking hold of Adrien's wrists and gently removing his hands from her face. "Being Chat Noir is important to you."
"You're important to me."
"One doesn't cancel out the other Adrien." Lucy told him, taking his face in the palm of her hand and rubbing her thumb against his cheek. Adrien closed his eyes and let out a breath, relishing the feeling of her warmth against his face.
"I know I shouldn't stress about it so much, but I can't help it." He admitted.
"How about we try and get your mind off it?" Lucy suggested. Adrien perked up at her words, offering a suggestive look of his own.
"What did you have in mind?"
"You wanna go on a date with me?" Adrien's brows shot up before smiling.
"Same question."
"There is a small food truck even going on this weekend that I saw a flyer for on my way over. Maybe some yum yums will lift your mood."
"Some yum yums?" Adrien laughed.
"Did somebody say yum yums?!" Plagg asked as he emerged from across the room.
"Umhm." Lucy nodded. "A food truck event, and I wouldn't be surprised if we came across some cheesy yummy nom noms as well."
"Yum yums and nom noms? What are you five?" Adrien asked still laughing.
"Six actually." Lucy answered sticking out her tongue at him.
"I don't care what you call it! If it involves cheese, I'm in!" Plagg shouted in excitement as he floated around in front of them.
"We can go tonight?" Lucy suggested with a small shrug and smile. Adrien smiled back and nodded.
"Sure. Sounds great."
Lucy leaned forward and kissed his nose, her eyes glancing out his large bedroom windows to see Ladybug and a few others in action.
"And while I go freshen up a bit, it looks like the opportunity for Chat Noir to stretch his legs has come."
Seeing the others out and about, Adrien forced a smile. "Right. I'll see you after then."
Lucy gave Adrien one more look over, assessing his demeanor before nodding. When Lucy finally made her way to her bedroom, Adrien let out a sigh. Plagg floated over to his owner curiously.
"What's wrong Adrien?"
Walking over to the tv, Adrien hit the play button, the morning news continuing where it left off due to his DVR.
"Lydia, how do things look down there?" Nadia asked. The screen split in half to reveal another reporter as Ladybug lands in the background.
"Looking good here! Ladybug!" The reporter called out, rushing over to the hero. "Great job Ladybug! Bhy the way, where's Chat Noir? You've saved Paris without him quite a few times recently. Are you two at odds with each other?"
In the background Carapace, Pegasus, Vesperia and Pigella can be seen fist bumping one another. "Pound it!"
"Of course not," Ladybug explains. "it's just that... umm, he's a partner like any other! The most important thing is to pick the best superheroes for each mission, with or without Chat Noir. No matter what, we've got a great team and we'll always be here to save Paris." Ladybug offers before leaving with the others.
Adrien clicks off the tv and tosses the remote back onto the couch.
"See Plagg. I'm a partner like any other. The job gets done with or without me."
A part of Adrien knew he was being petty. It shouldn't bother him so much that Ladybug had forged such a well put together team that he didn't need to be present for every mission. But he wanted to be there for every mission. He wanted her to call upon him every time. Yes, there would be times when he couldn't make it. Times where other life obligations might very well stop him from helping, but Adrien wanted to be called upon anyway. He wanted to be a necessity, not something one could give or take. Not an afterthought.
"Oh, don't make a big stink about this, Adrien!" Plagg advised. "Look, people always pretend like camembert is just like all the other cheeses, when they know perfectly well that it's the best of all! Especially when we forget where you put it for a few months, and it gets all runny and moldy—"
"Plagg."
"Let's just listen to Lucy, right? Let's go show 'em all who's the big cheese on the plate." He said, tossing back a hunk of cheese. "Camembert, transform! I mean Adrien, transform!"
Adrien sighed again. "Alright, fine. Plagg, claws out." He spoke rather unenthusiastically. As Chat Noir, he leaped from the living room window and across a few roof tops in search for Ladybug and the others. In only took a moment to pass before the sound of Ladybugs voice echoed nearby and the swarm of magical ladybugs swept over the city, fixing anything that had been broken.
Ladybug had been having a stressful day. She and the others had taken down the second Akuma of the day. Since her experience with Moolak, Ladybug had been doing her best to try and avoid calling on Chat Noir. Why? Because like all of them, Chat Noir clearly had a life outside of being a hero. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last time that he would simply be unavailable to come and help.
Ladybug didn't hold this against Chat really. She understood that sometimes finding a balance was hard. She had struggled with it herself plenty of times. In fact, she had once had to ask Alya to take over for her as Ladybug for a weekend when she couldn't get out of a family trip.
Knowing this, Ladybug decided that it was as good a time as any to start attemping missions without Chat Noir. The more often the other team members helped out, the easier it would be to find ways not to rely on only Chat.
"You're not the only one struggling, you know?"
"I might not have all the same responsibilities as you M'lady but I promise you I have my own burdens to bare."
Chat's words echoed in her head sometimes. Reminding her that like her, being a hero of Paris wasn't the only thing on Chat's plate. However, there was a downside to having a bunch of teammates who she couldn't let keep a miraculous. She couldn't just go after the Akuma a wait for them to show up like she often did with Chat, she had to go to them. Of course, then, after they took care of the Akuma, she then had to collect all the miraculous in separate points before she detransformed. It was all so time-consuming.
"Hey Chat Noir!" Ryuko greeted, catching Ladybugs attention as well as the others who all greeted him.
"Come on, guys!" Ladybug called as their miraculous began to beep. "Hurry up before you all detransform. I'll meet you at rendezvous points."
The heroes jump away in different directions, and Ladybug starts typing on her Yo-yo. Chat approaches her with a friendly smile.
"Hey! Meow are you, m'lady?" he asked, trying to be casual.
"Great, thanks, but I gotta go retrieve all these Miraculous." She told him, closing the yo-yo and getting ready to use it to leave.
"I could lend you a paw to help save time." Chat offered, hoping that even though he had not come in time for the Akuma, he could still be of use.
"Thanks, kitty cat, but it's a guardian's job to do it." Ladybug explained with a tight smile.
"I know who some of them are, remember? I was there when you first gave them their Miraculous!" Chat reminded her.
"You don't even know where their rendezvous points are, I don't have time to—" Ladybug felt herself growing more agitated with every moment. Her earrings beeped again, reminding her that time was of the essence.
"Playing cat and mouse is my forte, you know—"
"If you wanna save me time, stop wasting it in the first place!" Ladybug snapped. She didn't have time for this. The others were waiting on her. As she began to leap away Chat clenched his fists.
Wasting her time... that's what his offer to help was to her. A waste of time. It was a curse that developed from his upbringing. The way his father pulled away and spent the better part of their time together criticizing him rather than supporting him. Unintentional or not, Ladybug had a nasty habit of sounding just like him sometimes. The insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at Chat Noir's self-esteem until he is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He begins to believe that there is something wrong with him. How did that American singer say it? Hi, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me.
"And take my Miraculous back when you're done!"
"Okay, whatever, see you later!" Ladybug called back, hardly registering his words as she swung out of sight.
"I won't waste your time anymore, I promise. Claws in." Adrien frowned and took ahold of his ring. "I'm sorry, Plagg."
"Woah woah woah, hang on!" Plagg called out, trying to stop Adrien.
A little ways away, Ladybug huffs. "What does he mean "take back his Miraculous"?"
"I just can't do this anymore. I give up on being a hero. That means I need to give up you too."
"You can't do that!" Plagg argues, but it falls on deaf ears as Adrien takes off his ring and Plagg disappears inside of it.
Sometimes, when a child experiences trauma and neglect, the child begins to ache. A deep longing to feel needed, validated, and valued begins to take hold. As these children grow, they lack the ability to set a standard for what they deserve. And if that lack is not addressed, what often follows is a complicated, frustrating pattern of self-sabotage.
As Ladybug lands in front of King Monkey, she stops, a realization hitting her square in the chest. "No, he wouldn't! Don't move, I'll be right back!" She shouts at her teammate, only for him to detransform a moment later.
Kim watches her zip off with slight nervousness as he dangles from the chimney he had been holding onto. "You mean don't move at all or can I still move a little?"
Racing back to where she had last seen Chat Noir, Ladybug was greeted with silence.
"Chat Noir?! Chat No- oh no..." She spoke, seeing the ring he had left behind. "Chat Noir..." She picks up the ring and holds it in her palm, trying to think about what she should do. Unfortunately, figuring that out would have to wait. Her other teammates' voices spoke through to her earpiece, asking where she was. She would deal with Chat Noir later, right now she needed to get back those miraculous.
OoOoOoO
Later, at home Ladybug sat on her bed, staring at the ring in confusion.
"What's gotten into him? I didn't do anything." Ladybug insisted. Plagg floated towards her with stern eyes.
"Didn't do anything? Well yeah, you did! You've been neglecting a very classy piece of camembert on your plate for too long! And as a result, it got runny, and moldy!"
"What? Chat Noir never gave me any camembert."
"Of course not," PLagg said, rolling his eyes. "Chat Noir is the camembert! For a while now, you've been neglecting this camembert— I mean Chat Noir and going on adventures with all the other cheeses!"
Ladybug sighed. "But he should be happy about it, it gives him more time off."
"Chat Noir doesn't wanna have time off, Ladybug! Keeping Paris safe is everything to him! And your persistent calling on all the other heroes has broken his heart. He thinks you don't need him anymore!"
"I'm really sorry if Chat Noir is hurt, but I'm doing my best as a guardian." Ladybug said gently.
Sighing, Plagg nods. "I know. Just... give me the Miraculous. I'll give it back to him, cheer him up, we'll chow down on some grilled mimolette sandwiches, and everything will go back to normal."
"It's useless. The problem is that Chat Noir is extremely sensitive. No matter how many times I tell him how important he is to me and this team it's like it never sticks. My focus can't be to constantly monitor his emotions. Maybe Chat Noir is right. We should split."
"Woaaah!" Plagg shouts as the other Kwami's gasp at Ladybugs conclusion. "Not so fast! May I remind you that Chat Noir's a very competent superhero and that your powers complement each other?"
"I know I can't do it without a Chat Noir... So, I'll just have to choose another one. One who doesn't need constant validation from me or anyone else."
"Another Chat Noir? What do you mean another Chat Noir?!"
"I'm going to choose a new Chat Noir myself. And since I'll know who he is, I can call on him whenever I need him." She explains, jumping to her balcony.
Plagg quickly follows her up and floats in front of her. "Woah woah woah! You mean you'll know who he is? You'll know his secret identity?"
This caused Ladybug to pause. "You're right! I can't do that! If I know who Chat Noir is and ShadowMoth akumatizes me, he'll know how to find Chat Noir and he'll capture both our Miraculous! He'll merge them together and make his wish come true, and then the whole world will turn into whatever he wants!" She envisions in panic.
"See?" Plagg says, trying be the voice of reason. "You can't do that, so come on, give me back the Miraculous. I'll just tell him to get a grip, and everything will be fine."
"You really think it will be that simple?" she asks wearily.
Plagg's confident façade faltered at the question. "I sure hope so."
OoOoOoO
That night, Adrien laid in bed, looking at his phone to see a number of missed calls and texts from Lucy. His stomach turned when he thought about how upset she probably was with him, but he couldn't find it in him to answer. How would she take the news? That he had let his insecurities win and gave up his miraculous in the process.
Would she scold him? Tell him how ridiculous it was for him to give up something he claimed was important to him so easily?
Except it wasn't easy.
Or would she coddle him in her ever so Lucy fashion. Climb into his bed and run her fingers through his hair. Telling him that everything would be okay?
But it wasn't okay. Adrien was certain it never would be.
He felt as though he had been like this for a long time. But if he really thought on it, perhaps it wasn't until his mother passed that he found some days much harder than others. His father had always kept him busy, and sometimes Adrien was thankful for it. Because he feared that if he was left to his own devices, if he was truly without the focus of his never-ending responsibilities, that this feeling...this numbness...it would swallow him whole.
Since becoming Chat Noir, his hard days had become significantly less. A certain blonde girl with sea green eyes also had a way of keeping the darkness away. Perhaps what they say is true. All good things come to and end.
Would Lucy be disappointed that he was no longer Chat Noir? Would she still love him anyway? There was a small voice in the back of his mind screaming yes, but that voice could barely be heard in comparison to the booming, more prominent one that sounded much like his father saying of course not.
Lucy fell in love with Chat long before she fell in love with Adrien. If he was finding the loss difficult, he could only imagine how it might be for her.
Lucy is light. Just as her name described. Adrien was sure if you asked her, she might say the opposite. That her past had somehow tainted her in some way. Smothering out any light left in her, but she would be wrong. The darkness she had endured over time, in Adrien's opinion, only made her brighter. Because she had to. Unwilling to lose herself in the dark, she forced her light to shine so brightly that in some cases she could help other lost people find themselves too.
Even with all her sarcasm.
Threats of violence.
Stubbornness.
And what some might call a half glass empty attitude.
Lucy is light. She cares deeply. About everything. All of the time. Even when she claims otherwise. It was exhausting, Adrien was sure, but he envied it. Because on days like today...he couldn't convince himself he cared about much of anything.
Adrien laid in the bedroom in the dark and nothingness washing over him like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to him is his own fault. He has done something wrong, something so huge he can't even see it, something that's drowning him. He is inadequate and stupid, without worth. He might as well be dead.
OoOoOoOoO
"I've got it!" Marinette shouts, startling all the kwami's who had been alseep in her room. She had been up all night trying to put together a plan to fond a new Chat Noir. She knew as well as Plagg that whatever was going on with Chat wasn't going to be fixed by Plagg telling him to snap out of it, and if Marinette was honest, she wasn't sure it would be a good idea to try anyway.
Something bigger had to be going on with Chat for him to react so severely to her calling on other holders. It didn't make sense to her no matter how she looked at it. If he would have come to her...if he would have talked to her maybe this whole mess could have been avoided, but instead he...Marinette shook her head. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was finding a way to get Plagg a new holder without her knowing who that holder was.
"I meet him anonymously and make sure he's already got a girlfriend and that for real he thinks Ladybug is cool and all, but just like a friend. Then, I mail him the Miraculous and— ah, shoot! I need his address to mail him the Miraculous and his name too!" She scrunches up a piece of paper and tosses it into a large pile of paper which suffered the same fate. "Curse you Chat Noir! This is all your fault!" She groans. "Why couldn't you just talk to me , huh!? What am I supposed to do now?"
From above, Plagg lets out a sigh. "And she really doesn't see just how hard it is to talk to her, does she?"
"It's kind of ironic," Tikki commented from beside him. "Because he had been frustrated with her for the same thing. They both crave communication, but both struggles to offer it."
"Sugarcube! I think I might have an idea!" Plagg announces, whispering to Tikki.
OoOoOoOo
Nathalie scanned over her tablet as she walked into Adrien's room. The usually punctual boy had not come down to eat yet, and thus she had gone up to retrieve him. As she called out his name to inform him of his tardiness she paused. Before her, Adrien remained in bed. Finding the behavior unusual, Nathalie made her way over to the bed and took a seat.
"Adrien? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Nathalie." Adrien answered, not bothering to look at her. "I just don't feel like going to school."
Nathalie reached her hand out to touch him but stopped before making contact. Frowning, she got up from the bed. "I'll tell your father you're not feeling well and call the school to inform them of your absence."
Adrien didn't reply as Nathalie left the room and made her way down the steps to Gabriel's office.
"Sir," she called out. "Adrien is unwell."
Gabriel, who had been working on his latest design paused and looked up at his assistant. "Unwell how? Is he sick?"
Nathalie hesitated. "I...I'm not sure."
"What do you mean you're not sure?" Gabriel asked, narrowing his eyes slightly. Nathalie was a lot of things, but incompetent was not one.
"I had gone up to check on him when he didn't come down for breakfast. He was still in bed. When I asked if he was alright, he said that he was but...he just doesn't feel like going to school today."
Gabriel could agree. That was highly unusual for Adrien. "Did he say anything else?"
Nathalie remained silent, only to shake her head no. Gabriel focused. Letting the power of his miraculous search for negativity from Adrien that he might be concerned about. There was...something...an underlining negativity. It was different from the overpowering kind he had felt a few weeks prior from his son.
Gabriel hummed to himself. Adrien was clearly not himself today, but Gabriel wouldn't let himself get worked up over nothing.
"When is his next photo shoot?"
"Three days."
"He'll be fine by then. He's an Agreste." He said, returning to his work. Yes, that was all Adrien needed. Some time to recover from whatever it was that had him in a funk. He will be fine in a few days.
Nathalie but her tongue at Gabriel's dismissal of the situation. Her boss and friend seemed to be confident that whatever was wrong with Adrien was something minor, and she supposed that if it wasn't, Gabriel would know it from his miraculous. Still...she couldn't help but worry that there was more to it than either of them knew.
OoOoOoOoO
"But I can't lie to Marinette!" Hissed, uncertain of Plaggs plan.
"Who said anything about lying? I'm just asking you to smile and nod!" Plagg tells her as he flies over to a growling Marinette and clears his throat. "My dear guardian, you cannot continue keeping both the Miraculous of destruction and creation under the same roof. If ShadowMoth ever found that out and came here..."
"I know that," Marinette argued. "but I can't figure out how to recruit a new Chat Noir."
"Because you can't know his identity, right?" Marinette groans and slumps down to the ground in defeat.
"Well, dry your eyes! We've found the solution! Tikki's the one who reminded me of it actually." Plagg informed her. Marinette looked to Tikki with a bit of surprise. Tikki nervously smiles and nods in agreement with Plags words.
"It's true that my owner is fantastic," Plagg tells her. "but there is one other boy. Master Fu hesitated between the two of them when he was choosing Chat Noir, and Tikki and I liked him even better." Tikki keeps her forced smile and nods as Plagg continues.
"He'd make a perfect Chat Noir! And more importantly, he's not anywhere near as emotional, and I mean not at all!"
"How can you be sure of that?" Marinette asks suspiciously. Perhaps it sounded vain of her to ask, but during her time as Ladybug, she had become aware of the admirers she had acquired along the way. Who was to say this supposed back up Chat Noir wouldn't be one of them?
"Because..." Plagg started squinting at her. "it's a Kwami power!" Tikki continues nodding awkwardly. In all the time she had known Plagg, he never failed to surprise her with how stupid he could sound. Stupid, and yet somehow to everyone else, also believable.
"And, since I can go and present the Miraculous to him myself," He continued. "you'll never know who he is! That way, you'll have a new Chat Noir, who's not an emotional mess at all and everything will be perfect!"
Marinette looked at the cat miraculous in her hand and hesitated. "But... isn't it kind of risky to leave you on your own outside without a holder with your own Miraculous? What if ShadowMoth captured you?"
"ShadowMoth doesn't even know that Chat Noir has given his Miraculous back!" Plagg assured her.
Marinette paused thinking it over. "We have to agree that this new Chat Noir would be up to the challenge, right? We're spending time together, so I have to be able to get along with him. He'll have to be nice, generous—"
"Hang on, I'm talking about a top shelf Chat Noir here. Brave but calm, and rational too! As strong as he is intelligent, thoughtful, and trustworthy. I promise you, take the time to get to know him and you'll see he's the Chat Noir of your dreams!" Plagg insisted. Marinette, still uncertain, narrowed her eyes at the tiny floating cat Kwami.
"Are you trying to pull one over on me Plagg?"
"Oh, Sugarcube, tell her! She can trust me, can't she?" Plagg said, gesturing Tikki. At this point, Tikki's face began to hurt with how hard she was forcing her assuring smile. Against her better judgment, Marinette caved and handed the ring to Plagg. At the end of the day, she couldn't see any other option but to trust that the Kwami did in fact have another holder in mind, and that that person was up for the task.
"Okay then."
Plagg smiled and flew up toward the hatch that lead to the balcony. "I promise you won't regret it!"
OoOoOoOoO
Adrien sat on the couch, playing a video game, or rather running into a brick wall as the playable character. He had finally convinced himself to get out of bed thinking maybe he could get his mind off things with a videogame. Unfortunately, it wasn't helping. It should be helping. He loves video games. Yet, as he sat on his couch with the controller in hand...Adrien felt as though he and the character on the screen were in fact the same person. Someone else was controlling their life while constantly forcing them to hit a brick wall.
A knock at the window grabbed his attention. His brows knitted together at the sight of the tiny black cat floating at the window.
"Plagg?" Adrien opened the window. "If you're here for your cheese it's over there." He spoke, pointing towards the trash where he had tossed the hunks of cheese as well as the Plagg sock puppet the night before.
"Not at all! I've got a great plan to get us back to-" Plagg gasped at the sight of the cheese of squished together in the bin. "No! My favorite old honey Tomme cheese! Mushed into fresh goat cheese... well, we'll deal with that later. I'm just gonna blame this on your recent psychological state." He said, floating over to Adrien who had gone back to his place on the couch.
"Listen, I have Ladybug believing that I found a perfect new holder for Chat Noir. And this new holder is you!" Adrien gave no reaction to the news Plagg had given him. The Kwami looked from Adrien t the screen, seeing him repeatedly running into the wall. Although it was in a new and modern way, Plagg had in fact seen this before in a holder. Concern swelled inside of his tiny body. He wouldn't lose another one. He refused.
"Come on! What do you say to your good old Kwami buddy who you thought you'd never see again?" He asks, still getting no reaction. Plagg flings the ring at Adrien's head in frustration and was met with the same dead stare. "Hey, you! Enough with the talking gloomy act! You and me, just like before!"
"I can't be just like before, Plagg." Adrien spoke dully. "If I become Chat Noir again nothing will change. I'll still be here, running into a wall." In Adrien's experience, people are a lot more sympathetic if they can see you hurting, and for the millionth time in his life he wished for measles or smallpox or some other easily understood disease just to make it easier on him and also on them.
Plagg frowned. "Adrien, I've been around a long time. Real life is messy, inconsistent, and it's seldom when anything ever really gets resolved. It's taken me a long time to realize that." He spoke firmly, and it was in these rare moments that Adrien could almost see a glimmer of the past in his eyes.
"I get it." Plagg sighed. "It's hard to be thrown out with the old cheese rinds. But I'm not talking about being the Chat Noir you used to be!" Plagg pulls out a drawing of Chat Noir in a superhero cape and places the ring in Adrien's hands. "You're gonna be the new Chat Noir! Wait until you see how brilliant this is! After all the time I've spent with Ladybug, I know exactly what she's looking for! So you and I are gonna whip up a tailor-made Chat Noir! So perfect that believe me, she'll never forget to call on you for help again!"
Looking down at the ring, Adrien had yet to be convinced things could be so simple. "But as soon as I transform into Chat Noir, she'll know it's me."
"Nope!" Plagg answered, drawing on a board. "Because when your personality changes, your costume changes too! Up until now, whenever you transform into Chat Noir, you didn't think about it, it was natural. And what came out was this Chat Noir." Plagg held up a drawing of Chat Noir in his typical attire and then crosses out the picture.
"Not at all what Ladybug wants! But if you focus hard, you can be a completely different Chat Noir!"
If Adrien thought change was the answer to his problems, Plagg would help him do just that.
"You really think so?" Adrien asked quietly. If what Plagg said was true, then maybe there was still hope for him. Maybe he could prove himself again to be the hero he wanted to be. The one Paris counted on, the one Ladybug counted on. Above all else.
"Of course! Concentrate."
Adrien puts the ring on, and Plagg smiles triumphantly. Adrien closes his eyes and clenched his fists while trying to put off of his focus on a new idea Chat Noir.
"Alright," Plagg spoke from beside him. "you're like a little ball of fresh curd, that doesn't know yet, that it can be something more than a camembert! But if you think hard about what you're doing, if you age your crust and choose the right fermentation, you can be any cheese you want."
A busrt of confidence hit Adrien as he stood. "Plagg, claws out!" In a moment, the confidence melted away as he looked himself over to find nothing had changed. "Claws in." He said with a defeated groan.
"Okay... we've got some work to do." Plagg said. So maybe imagining it wouldn't be enough. Adrien needed a firm example. A mindset that separated his old Chat Noir personality from the new one. He didn't care what it took. Adrien would remain his holder if he had anything to say about it.
OoOoOoO
All day they went over things. All day Plagg helped Adrien alter every move he would typically make as Chat Noir. From the way he arrived to help Ladybug, to his outfit, to his posture, to the way he spoke, eliminating the idea that he should ever use a cat pun under any circumstance. Ladybug wanted a kind, smart, fast acting and straight to the point partner and that was exactly what Plagg planned to deliver.
It was hard at first for Adrien to act anyway that felt unnatural to him. But Plagg reminded him that if he wanted to fool Ladybug, that was exactly what he would have to do. He knew how to be serious. He did it all the time for his father and Nathalie. He could let loose with his friends. At home, and as a hero, he needed to straighten up.
Plagg looked over the name options they had come up with, tapping the marker on his chin. "Kitty Kitty.. Chat of the Night... Citizen Chat... Obscure Kitty... Super Chat... Black Kitty... Feline Kitty... Chat Man..." Then his eyes landed on one name in particular. Pointing to it he smiled. "Adrien, I think we finally got it."
With another surge of confidence, Adrien call claws out and before even looking at himself he knew something was different. Bringing his eyes down, a smile formed on Adrien's face as he examined his new outfit.
His mask is black, similar to Chat Noir's, but it has a horizontal golden stripe across the top with a dip in the middle where the edge of the mask dips. His costume is dark gray and looks similar to an 18th century military uniform with six gold paw print shaped buttons, and another two on the backs of his shoulders, and gold lining. He has tall black boots that reach a little past his knees and long black gloves that almost reach his shoulders. His shoulders are also black, and the ends of his fingers have pointed curved cat-like claws. Unlike Cat Noir, he has no bell. His long black belt is tied around his waist and extends into a fake tail in the back along with a silver belt buckle on the front in the shape of a right angle pointing to his left.
"ADRIEN!" A voice shouted, making the boy jump in surprise. In his panic of being caught in his costume, Adrien's brain did the only thing it could think of which was to cover himself with his hands and arms across his body as if he was naked.
Lucy stood before him scowling. "Oh good, you're not dying, now I won't feel as bad for killing you. Do you know how-?" She paused, perhaps finally taking in his appearance. "What the hell is this?"
"Uh..." Adrien gaped, releasing his body from the grip he had on it. He hadn't expected to see Lucy so soon. He hadn't planned on how he would reveal his new...well...everything to her. "Right...um...so...kind of a funny story..."
"Adrien, I don't know if you can tell from the unhinged fury that is seeping from my pores but: It's kind of a funny story. Yeah, that's not going to cut it for me today." Lucy shot at him, her lip in a tight line. "You want to start by explaining how I even got in here?"
Adrien squinted. "Was it not through the front door?"
"I'm going to throw a shoe at you."
"I-! Wha-?"
"Adrien you know as well as me that you and I had no set plans to see each other today. We did yesterday but then you blew me off."
"Lucy I'm sor-" Adrien attempted to apologize but Lucy held up her hand to stop him.
"Oh don't worry, we'll come back to that. But we didn't have plans today. And you and I know that if we don't have plans, plans that are preapproved by Nathalie and or your father, then I don't step in this house. If I don't have an appointment. If I'm not on the schedule for you today, then I ain't getting in." She emphasized.
"So tell me why when I came up to this house ready retest those ninja skills we both know Nathalie has, that when she opened the door and I said I need to talk to you she let me in? But not only did she let me in, she let me in and looked at me like I was about to walk into a hospital room and be told you had cancer or something!" Lucy vented.
"He's not himself today. That's what she said to me as I was let in. And then I storm up here, wondering what in the hell that could mean, I find you like this. What is this, why do you look like that?!" she asked waving her arms around.
Adrien swallowed. "I'm...reinventing myself..."
Lucy gave him a hard look before marching forward and taking a seat on his bed. He watched her cautiously, eyes widening as she bent over and began untying her shoe.
"What are you doing...?" He asked nervously.
"Don't worry about." Lucy answered flatly, taking off the shoe and holding it in her hand by the heel. "Elaborate your explanation. Please." Her tone making it clear it was not a request.
"I needed a change." Adrien spoke. His fists, clenching and unclenching at his sides. "I need to be different in order to be a more effective hero."
Without a second thought, Lucy tossed her shoe at Adrien, hitting him square in the chest. Due to him being in his hero form, he hardly felt the blow but still found himself flinching from the hit.
"Are you serious right now!?"
"Are you!? Say the magic words Adrien."
"I don't want to." Adrien said defiantly.
"Say them!"
"Claws in!" Adrien hissed, and Plagg came flying out of the ring.
"Luuucccyyy," Plag greeted. "Hey theeerree."
"Listen to me very carefully, both of you. I am this close, to loosing it." Lucy informed them, holding her pointer finger and thumb mere millimeters from one another.
"I tried to get a hold of you for hours yesterday, Adrien. And then again multiple times today and got nothing. Then I come here to find you looking like...something I don't even have the humor in me to make a funny analogy of at the moment and telling me that the reason you look like that is because you needed to change yourself to be a better hero. Make it make sense. Both of you. One of you. I don't care. Help me understand what is happening right now because your very vague explanation is making me feel that there is something you are hiding from me and I don't appreciate it. I'm going to find out what it is one way or another. You know it. I know it. So, let's cut the bullshit shall we, and tell me what it is happening."
Plag and Adrien shared a look before the Kwami floated ever so slightly forward.
"You know how Adrien had been feeling left out by Ladybug lately..." He said slowly, earning a tight nod from Lucy. "Well, we decided to do something about that. Ladybug wants a partner who is straight to the point and professional. Someone who isn't throwing a bunch of jokes at every chance and isn't so emotionally attached that he over thinks every interaction they have together." Plagg explained. Lucy raised a brow at him, waiting for the Kwami to continue.
"I explained to Adrien that if he really wanted to be the version of Chat Noir Ladybug would always call on, then that would involve changing the core fundamentals that made him the Chat Noir he is."
"So, completely rewiring his personality." Lucy concluded.
"Exactly!" Plagg said with a smile.
"Umhm. Right. And what exactly do you think Ladybug is going to do when Chat Noir shows up...I don't know, a complete stranger?" She asked, rolling her wrist. "You don't think she'll question that? Maybe find it a little odd?" Lucy criticized as she looked between the two.
The pair shared another look before Adrien cleared his throat. His hand reaching up his neck to scratch.
"She won't ask...because she won't know it's me."
Lucy looked from Adrien to Plagg who would no longer meet her eyes. Looking back over at her boyfriend she frowned.
"Adrien...what did you do?"
Adrien's eye cast downwards, he too unable to keep eye contact with the woman who seemed to pierce his very soul. Shame seeped out of him as he answered.
"Yesterday...after you left I went to go assist Ladybug and the others. By the time I got there, the job had already been taken care of. I knew she had to go collect the miraculous back from the others. She seemed stressed. Pressed for time. I offered to help. I knew some of their identities. It wouldn't matter if I collected their miraculous for her." He shrugged a little.
"I should have let it go when she declined the first time. But I wanted to help. I wanted her to find me useful. I hadn't been there to help with the Akuma, I could at least help with this. But as always, I couldn't take no for an answer, and I pushed and as always Ladybug snapped at me for it."
Lucy's scowl softened at Adrien's words, he could see it. But he knew it wouldn't last when he told her what happened next.
"As she swung away, she told me if I wanted to help, then I could help by not wasting her time."
"Adrien..." Lucy spoke softly.
"I reacted." Adrien admitted. "Her words echoed in my head like a broken record. A waste of time. My help is a waste of time. I couldn't shut it off and, in that moment, I told her she could come collect my miraculous when she was done."
"You didn't..."
"I then took off the ring, renounced Plagg, and left it there on the roof for her to find."
"Oh my god, Adrien." Lucy groaned. "I get that you were upset but don't you think that was a bit-"
"No." Adrien said firmly. "I didn't. I still don't, if I'm honest. Ladybug doesn't want Chat Noir's help. So now she won't."
"Adrien may have been willing to give up on Chat Noir." Plagg then spoke quietly. "He may have been willing to give up on me." He added, making the blonde boy send him a sorrowful expression. "But I wasn't willing to give up on him."
Plagg floated closer to Lucy, his confident demeanor returning. "I convinced Ladybug that Fu had a second holder in mind for Chat Noir. One that would be everything she wanted in a partner. No more jokes, no more overly emotional reactions to all her choices. Just a hero looking to do his job in aiding her in the fight against ShadowMoth." Floating away from Lucy and back towards Adrien, Plagg continued.
"I convinced Adrien that if he really wanted to be the partner Ladybug wanted, then he could be. It wouldn't be easy but if he wanted it bad enough, he could make it happen."
"And Chat Walker was born." Adrien finished.
Lucy sat there for what felt like a long time while Adrien and Plagg waited for her to react. Adrien wasn't sure what exactly he expected Lucy to say, but what she did, threw him through a loop.
"Are you still in love with her?" She asked quietly. Adrien's brows kissed.
"What?"
"Are you still in love with Ladybug?" Lucy repeated. Her voice almost accusing.
"Lucy, we talked about this." Adrien said in a pleading tone. "Of course not. I love you."
"You'll have to excuse my assumption about a girl you're willing to change your entire personality over." She said, wiping away a stray tear.
"I'm not changing my entire personality." Adrien argued. "I'm changing Chat Noirs."
"You always do that. Why do you do that? Talk like you and Chat Noir aren't the same person?"
"Who I am as Chat Noir is just different from who I am as Adrien." Adrien replied with a shrug. "It's not-"
"I fell in love with a guy," Lucy interrupted. "Who is kind, and funny, and brave. Someone who saw all my jagged, broken pieces and found a way to smooth them over and place them in such a way that I could feel whole again." She said, standing from the bed and walking over to him.
"That guy wasn't Chat Noir nor was it, Adrien. It was just you. It is just. You."
Adrien bathed in her warmth as her palm cupped his cheek. "I see you, Adrien." She spoke gently. "I see how amazing and wonderful you are, and I wish I could give that to you. I wish I could make you see what I see, but I can't. You have to look yourself."
"Do you think this is easy for me?" Adrien asked, removing Lucy's hand from his face. "Do you think I enjoy this? Because I don't."
Lucy thought she would crumble the way Adrien's normally bright eyes seemed to darken as he looked at her. His bottom lids fighting to hold back the tears the threatened to escape.
"I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know why I need so badly for my choices to be approved of. By my father, by Ladybug. I don't know why I can't just accept that there are parts of my personality that Ladybug will never find ideal. Or why what she finds idea matters as much as it does. I don't know why getting up in the morning sometimes takes all of my energy. I don't know why I find it so easy to convince myself that I am not worth anything. Not worthy of my life, my friends, my ability to be Chat Noir, you! Worthy of your love!"
Every word that spilled from Adrien's mouth broke Lucy's heart. It seemed to break his too.
"And it's not fair. It's not fair to Ladybug, It's not fair to Plagg, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me either." Adrien added, his lip quivering. "But I can't make it go away." His voice barely above a whisper.
Plagg who floated only a foot or two away, looked at Adrien almost mortified at the boy's confession. Some people will imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone.
But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know, and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding, and no reassurance is ever enough.
You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.
"But I need it to go away." Adrien spoke, his voice turning stern. "And if that means wearing a different mask then that is exactly what I'll do."
Lucy took a step back, her expression mirroring that of Adrien. Somewhat cold and detached. "Fine." She then spoke, walking past Adrien and grabbing her shoe, placing her foot back in it. She then stood straight again and walked past Adrien once more.
"Fine?"
"Yup." She answered, popping the P and turning around to face him but not stopping from backing her way towards the door.
"Do what makes you happy- er- what makes her happy, you know what I mean."
"Lucy don't-"
"I gotta go." She said, cutting him off. "I'll see you tomorrow Adrien...uh Chat no- Walk-" Lucy threw her hands up in defeat. "Whoever you are." Before Adrien could get another word in, Lucy spun on her heels and quickly made her exit.
Adrien took a step to go after her when Plag floated in front of him.
"Let her go, Adrien." He insisted. "She'll come around. Let's take care of Ladybug, then we can worry about Lucy. One thing at a time."
Ignoring his heart, the way he was accustomed to doing, Adrien listened.
"Plagg, claws out." It was time for Ladybug to meet her new partner.
OoOoOoOoO ( A little over 8,000 words! Half way there!)
Ladybug paced the roof as she waited for the new Chat Noir to arrive. "This time, no more improvisations. The rules will be clear from the start. I'll be firm with him right away." She told herself.
"Good evening, Ladybug." A voice spoke, making the hero jump slightly in surprise. "I'm Chat Walker." He introduced with a bow. This Cat miraculous holder was definitely different from the one she was used to in terms of style. With his almost posh looking costume and dark blonde colored hair pulled back in a small ponytail, almost reminded Ladybug of a more pristine version of Zorro. Still, looks aside, Ladybug still felt she had to test this "Chat Walker".
"Purr-fectly delighted!" Ladybug greeted back with a smile.
If this Chat found puns even remotely funny, he gave no indication of it. "Likewise."
"You... don't burst out laughing, don't you think that's funny?"
Of course, he found it fucking funny. Chat thought to himself. But that was part of the problem, wasn't it?
"I find the play on words nicely done." He spoke honestly. "Plagg told me you were exceptional, and he is good as his word. If you'd like, next time, I will laugh."
Ladybug smiled awkwardly. "Oh, no, don't, I- You don't have to force yourself to laugh." Clearing her throat, she pulls out her yo-yo and starts firing questions his way. "So tell me, Chat Walker, how old are you? Do you have brothers and sisters? Any hobbies in particular?"
"Answering your questions would risk revealing my secret identity." Chat answered smoothly.
"Wow, you really are perfect." Ladybug said in surprise. She would admit, she had her doubts about Plagg's plan, regardless of Tikki's nod of a approval. "Um- I mean- your answer was perfect. Let's see how well you think on your feet. Say, a supervillain shows up and you know nothing about them. What would be your first reaction? A, you rush towards them and cataclysm them, B, you-"
Chat walker pulled out his staff, narrowing his eyes at a figure off in the distance. "First, I get to a safe place to observe them. And that's what you should do too, Ladybug." Chat informed her. Across the way, a large black cat of sorts can be seen using the Tour Montparnasse as a scratching post.
"You know, I guess there's no more time for chit-chat. Let's get to work right now!" Ladybug agrees, and both heroes make their way closer. Noticing the bell on the over sized Cat, Ladybug gasps.
"No, Chat Noir, stop! This is ridiculous!"
The large cat takes note pf the heroes, and immediately attacks them. Chat Walker and Ladybug dodge the attack before running off.
"You think that's Chat Noir?" Chat Walker asks as he runs beside Ladybug.
"Of course, it's Chat Noir! He must've been akumatized because he regrets having given up his Miraculous!"
Although her assumption made sense, Chat Walker knew better. "What if it's not Chat Noir?"
"Leave this to me, Chat Walker. I know him really well." The pair continue to run but as Ladybug pulls out her yo-yo to swing away she is knocked into a nearby building.
"Ladybug!"
Kuro Neko tries to scratch her, and she struggles to keep hold its paw. "I'm so sorry, Chat Noir! I didn't realize how broken-hearted you were over this!"
Chat Walker catches Ladybug and frees her from Kuro Neko's grip. Quickly, the pair take cover. The sentimonster looks around and walks away on two legs.
"If that was Chat Noir, don't you think he'd talk to you?" Chat Walker tried to reason.
"It's true, he usually does talk a lot more." Ladybug said thoughtfully. "He must be really upset that I found someone to take his place!"
Chat Walker could feel his eye twitch at the irony of her statement. Letting it go, he brings his attention back to Kuro Neko, noticing the large slot on its back.
"With that slot on his back, he looks more like a piggy bank, don't you think?"
"You'll see once we deakumatize him." Ladybug explains, still convinced that Kuro Neko was in fact Chat Noir. "Cataclysm his bell, I'm sure that's where the akuma is!" She instructs as she runs toward it.
"Hang on! Ladybug, what if that's a sentimonster? If I use my power on him, he'll lose control and become more dangerous!"
Ladybug stops in her tracks. "You're right! Wow, Plagg really took his job as a coach seriously!" She complimented. Maybe Plag had learned from the last time. After all when Chat and her first started, it seemed he was improvising more than anything. This time around it seemed that Plag had crossed all his T's and dotted all his I's. "But trust me, I know Chat Noir-" Before she could argue further, Chat Walker had leapt away with his own plan in mind. "Hey, what are you doing?!"
"Kitty, kitty! Meow, meow, kitty!" Kuro Neko starts chases Chat Walker and is lead into a park. Chat smirks as he feels the grass below him. "This should do. Meow, meow, meow! That's right, come here." Ladybug lands on a roof nearby. Kuro Neko prepares to attack Chat Walker, but sees the smaller cat-like-hero rolling in the grass and calmly proceeds in front of him. "Mmm, this smells good!"
As Kuro Neko begins to eat the grass, Chat Walker jumps up to Ladybug.
"What's he doing?" Ladybug asks in confusion.
"Cats sometimes eat grass," Chat Walker explains. "It helps them spit out their hairballs."
"Chat Noir loves acting like a clown, but he wouldn't go so far as to eat real grass." Ladybug said, reevaluating her assumption.
Chat Walker cringes beside her. "What I mean is you're right to doubt, and I agree with you. Until we know for sure whether we're dealing with a sentimonster or someone who's been akumatized, we shouldn't make any brash decisions. Let's find out more."
Ladybug looked down sadly. She was such an idiot.
"I'm only saying this because you asked me to think on my feet, you know? But you're the Guardian and whatever your plan is, I'll follow it." Chat walker said, not wanting to have upset her.
"You were right from the start, of course that's not Chat Noir!" Ladybug growled in frustration.
Cat Walker smiled sympathetically. "It's completely understandable why you think that."
"Yeah, but hello? I just confused my former partner with a giant piggy bank! I didn't see he was hurt and couldn't stop him from leaving either. I must be the worst Guardian ever!"
Guilt bubbled inside Chat Walker as he looked at Ladybug. He could blame her if he wanted to. He could say that it was all her fault. A part of him wanted to. But the truth was, it wasn't all her fault. Maybe she hadn't thought about how he might feel about her seeming to need him less these days. Maybe she didn't think that instead of being grateful for the time off, he would feel as if she was pushing him aside.
But it wasn't Ladybugs job to regulate him. She is his partner, not his mother. She can't coddle him like she is. He should have talked to her. He should have met up with her to patrol and let her know how he was feeling. But he didn't. And now they were here.
"There's nothing wrong with you." Chat Walker said. "Maybe the guy who was Chat Noir was more sensitive than it seemed. But his feelings shouldn't force you to pay more attention to him than to others. You take care of everybody equally, Ladybug." He gets up and reaches out his hand. "Now let me take care of you."
Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced. Just because his pain is understandable, doesn't mean his behavior is acceptable. Chat Walker vowed to stop blaming outside circumstances for his inside chaos.
Ladybug blushes and takes his hand. Kuro Neko plays with the Roue de Paris in the background.
"Uh.. Thanks."
"Shall we?"
Ladybug and Cat Walker fight Kuro Neko. Tossing her yo-yo, Ladybug wraps it around on of Kuro Neko's arms only for it to swing Ladybug away when it attempted to fight off the helicopters surrounding it. Chat Walker jumps onto it, grabs the yo-yo and hands it over to Ladybug as she returns.
"Thanks for being so charming with me- oh, uh, what I meant was-" Oh, no. Please God no!
"Lucky Charm?" Chat Walker asks, a little confused.
"What?"
"You meant that you need your yo-yo to call up your Lucky Charm, right?" He asks, pointing at Kuro Neko.
"Yes! Right..heh.. Lucky Charm!" In her arms lands a parachute.
"A parachute?" Ladybug says to herself, looking around to figure out what it was she was meant to do. However, her gaze keeps landing on Chat Walker. She rubs her eyes but still can't look away. This cannot be happening!
"Are you okay?" Chat Walker asks, noticing her hesitation.
"Uh.. yes," She says, though her brain kept screaming no, no, no. "but I'm gonna need you. Use the parachute to blind the cat, and I'll... snatch his bell with my yo-yo."
Chat Walker covers Kuro Neko's eyes, who falls almost landing on Ladybug, Chat Walker quickly bolted to her and moved his partner out of the way. Kuro Neko removes the parachute and leaves.
"Let's not panic, I must've made a mistake! Let's try something else." She says, looking around trying to focus on something, anything other than Chat Walker. "Uh... okay, I think.. I know what to do. At least I hope so..."
The plan seemed simple enough. Ladybug had made a net of sorts with her yo-yo below the Eiffle Tower. They would call over the cat, get it stuck and then parachute down and cataclysm the bell. Ladybug held onto Chat Walkers back as the floated down. She knew it was wrong, but Ladybug couldn't help but enjoy of his body against hers.
Chat Walker was already someone she could consider attractive, but then he had to say all that stuff about taking care of her and...A sigh escaped her lips. It kind of reminded her of Luka if she was honest. Oh Luka...how she missed him. Maybe tomorrow she could-"
"That's when I use my superpower, right?" Chat Noir asked, taking Ladybug out of her thoughts.
"Right! Make sure not to touch anything other than the bell!" Chat Walker called for his cataclysm, preparing to hit the bell when a gust of wind blows the parachute, causing Chat Walker to accidentally use his power on Kuro Neko, who goes berserk and sends Ladybug and Chat Walker flying, lading on the upper level of the Eiffel tower
"ShadowMoth, my cat is broken!" A child like voice shouted from inside the cat. "You promised me a kitty who listens to me!"
"You were right, it is a sentimonster! And there's a child inside of it, we gotta get her out!"
"I'll go and recharge my Cataclysm. I might be able to break the object controlling it." Chat Walker tells her before leaping away. Much like before, Ladybug can't seem to take her eyes off him until he is completely out of sight.
"He's so... perfect." With Chat Walker gone, she can think clearly and forms a plan. "And that's... the problem."
OoOoOoO
When Chat Walker returned, Ladybug looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Chat Walker, I tried every way I could to include you in the plan but.. the lucky charm doesn't work with you."
Chat Walker smiled "That's what I figured out too."
"You're not mad? You don't feel sad or... left out?"
Chat Walker puts his hand on her shoulder. "No. The mission comes first. I'm not making another move." Had she asked him this yesterday, he was certain his answer would have been different. But while he went away and fed Plagg, there had been some time to reflect.
He is a mess of conflicting impulses. He's independent and greedy and he also wants to belong and share and be a part of the whole.
Chat doubted that he is the only one who feels this way. It's the core of monster making, actually. Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable—your weaknesses, bad thoughts, vanities, and hungers—and pretend they're across the room. It's too ugly to be human. It's too ugly to be you. Children are afraid of the dark because they have nothing real to work with. But as we get older we become afraid of ourselves.
Oh we're a mess. But something Chat was trying his best to drill into his own mind was that he is more than one thing, and not all of those things are good.
The truth is complicated. It's two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. He used to think that if he dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, I'd know it was something true. But it was now that he realized it was time to start trying to dig deeper.
This plan, this set up Plagg had put together with all the best intentions wasn't going to work. He had spent the better part of his life trying to be the version of himself everyone expected him to be. He couldn't keep doing it forever.
"Good luck, Ladybug."
As he leave, Ladybug watches him with a small smile on her face. "He really is too... perfect." She swings away and lands near Kuro Neko. "Yoohoo! Hello, kitty, kitty!"
OoOoOoOoOo
Using the parachute and a lot of freshly mowed grass from the nearby stadium, Ladybug was able to get the child that had been inside the Sentimonster, out. The girl had lost her kitten. ShadowMoth had promised her to replace it with the sentimonster.
"You know what? I lost my kitty cat too. And I miss him a lot. We just need to break your piggy bank long enough for the big cat to stop being naughty, and then my magic ladybugs will fix it. And that way, when you find your cat, you can still buy him the best toys in the world." Ladybug told the littler girl, convincing her to smash the cat piggy bank she had gripped in her hands.
While Ladybug captured the Amok, Chat Walker returned with a black cat in his arms. Ladybug didn't know where or how he found the cat, but the girl cried out in joy at the sight of it.
"You were perfect. No, you were perfect." The pair complimented one another in unison. A laugh echoing between them.
"But, Chat Noir..." Ladybug couldn't help but feel a little guilty. There had been nothing wrong with Chat Walker. He had done everything right. And yet...
"...is not me." Chat Walker concluded. "Plagg will give you the ring back."
"And... he'll send it back to its previous owner."
"Nice to have met you, Ladybug." Chat Walker said with a bow. "Chat Noir is lucky to have you as a partner."
And with that, he took out his staff and vaulted away.
OoOoOoOoOo
Back at home, Chat landed in his room and detransformed.
"Claws in."
"Your great plan didn't really work out, Plagg." Adrien said with a stretch.
Plagg floated over to the cheese filled garbage. "Are you kidding? It worked better than if it actually worked!" He reaches for a piece of Camembert out of the bin. "So long, serious chat, we're finally gonna be super cool chat again!"
Adrien hesitated. "But what if I can't do it? Become the old Chat Noir again?"
"Don't worry about that! Just be yourself and he'll be back in two shakes of a cat's tail!"
Looking at his ring, Adrien couldn't help but wonder. "Does that mean Chat Noir is who I really am? Deep down inside?"
Plagg bites into a pieces of cheese before flying back over to Adrien. "You're not Chat Noir, but you're not Adrien either. You're both. You're the perfect son who's extremely successful in everything he does. But you're also Chat Noir, who just wants to enjoy life and have fun. One can't exist without the other. Just like Lucy said! And I sure am glad to have both of you back!"
Adrien hugged his Kwami, happy to have him back too when he remebered.
"Lucy!"
Plagg sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I guess we should address that too, shouldn't we? Just make it quick alright, I've got cheese to reorganize."
OoOoOoOoO
A gentle knock on Lucy's window stole her attention from her book. As she glanced up, she was met with the guilty smile that belonged to the Chat Noir she had come to be familiar with. She remained passive at the sight, bringing her eyes back to the text in front of her as Chat Noir crept inside of her room.
"Lucy I..."
"Who are you again?" She asked, not bothering to look at him. His shoulder visibly slumped at her words. "I'm genuinely curious."
"I think I'm still trying to figure that out." He answered honestly. "But I know it's not Chat Walker."
"Hm."
Walking over to the bed, Chat took a seat on the end of it and called claws in, letting Plagg out to see Lucy looking at him with a raised brow. He floated over to her, pushing his head under her chin.
"Come on Lucyyyy." He purred. "Don't be upset! It all worked out in the end!"
Rolling her eyes, Lucy gently swatted Plagg away and put her book down and sat up from her lounged position. Adrien fidgeted with the crease in t blanket below him.
"I don't know when I started feeling this way..." He spoke quietly. "I don't think I always did...but I..." He swallowed and Lucy took his hand in her own.
"I get, Adrien. People's lives take them to strange places. They do strange things, and... well, sometimes they can't talk about them." Adrien could feel himself relax under her touch as her thumb rubbed the top of his hand. "I know what it's like to have to confront your inner demons and-"
"I did confront my inner demon." Adrien interrupted. "I punched him in the face and he exploded."
Lucy had to laugh at that. It only lasted a moment as she tilted her head at him. She knew better than most that it was never that simple. "They tend to come back."
"Of course, he'll be back." Adrien agreed with a small smirk. "He's resourceful. He is my inner demon, after all."
"I'll help you fight him."
"I don't know if anyone can help me do that." Adrien replied quietly.
"I'll try anyway."
I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough, ooh, oh
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Ooh-oh
Unhealthy love is based on two people trying to escape their problems through their emotions for each other—in other words, they're using each other as an escape. Healthy love is based on two people acknowledging and addressing their own problems with each other's support.
Adrien crawled up between Lucy's legs, resting his head on her chest while she wrapped her arms around him, her chin on top of his head.
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, you say I am yours
And I believe
Oh, I believe
What you say of me
I believe
The next morning Chat found Ladybug sitting on a structure, looking over the Eiffel tower. He took a seat a few feet away when she didn't look at him.
"I've been a really temperamental kitty, m'lady. I didn't realize how much trouble I'd make for you by giving back my Miraculous."
Ladybug sighed and slid beside Chat Noir. "Just because I don't need you all the time doesn't mean that I don't need you at all, Chat Noir. No one could ever replace you."
And although Chat was trying to learn to find his worth without hearing it from an outside source, he couldn't help but feel relieved when actually hearing it.
"I know you how badly you want to help make things easier for me though." Ladybug continued. "I appreciate it. I'm sorry that I'm not very good at showing it sometimes.
"I do just want to help."
"I know." Ladybug smiled. "So how about we go over some of those rendezvous' points? It'll be faster if we both collect them."
Chat grinned. "Sounds good m'lady."
The only thing that matters now is everything you think of me, whoa, whoa
In you I find my worth, in you I find my identity
Whoa
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
And you say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, you say I am yours
OoOoOoO
When evening came Adrien had arrived at Lucy's door, prepared to make up for the raincheck he had imposed on their date the night before last. It was the last night of the food event. A dozen or so food trucks lined the streets near the park. Around them games and activities were present for people of all ages. He had promised to win her the stuffed pig she had been eyeing from a distance where a basketball game was set up.
"Hey, that looks tasty!" He said, tugging her with him by her free hand to a food cart that was serving chocolate covered marshmallows and strawberries on a stick.
"Lucy, Adrien, hey!" A voice greeted from behind them in line. Both teens turned and smiled at the sight of Luka. "How's it going guys? Been here long?"
Beside him, stood Marinette, shyly holding his hand. As she and Lucy made eye contact, Lucy sent her a wink, making the dark haired girl blush.
"An hour or so maybe? How about you guys?" Adrien asked. "Date night for you too?"
Marinette shifted awkwardly, her face growing pinker by the second.
"Just buddies." Luka clarified, squeezing her hand. "Very good buddies."
"Hmm," Lucy hummed with a smile. "Yeah, us too." She joked making Adrien snap his head towards her.
"Pfft!" Adrien grabbed Lucy's face, squeezing her cheeks between his thumb and pointer finger while pressing his forehead to hers. "Now, listen her missy! You think that piggy came for free!?"
Lucy wheezed out a laugh while pushing Adrien's face away with her palm.
"Get out of my face! I'm so tired of you!"
"Well, that's too damn bad, cause' you're stuck with me." He said, reaching for the two treats and handing one to Lucy.
Luka and Marinette took their treats as well, both couples walking hand in hand to a less crowded area to enjoy their treats.
"This is so messy." Lucy commented looking at her hand which now had a considerate amount of melted chocolate on it. Adrien quirked and eyebrow and reached for her had, pulling it towards his face. As he stuck his tongue out, Lucy snatched her hand away.
"Adrien, we are in public!" She hissed, though her face still carried a smile.
Adrien only shrugged. So Lucy gave him a suggestive look before bringing her palm in front of her, sticking out her tongue, and licking up the base of her finger to the tip.
"Messy, but tasty." She commented. Adrien's throat bobbed. He swore sometimes Lucy had a way of making it impossible for him to breathe.
"Lucy, we are in public..." He said slowly, throwing her own words back at her.
Much like he had, Lucy gave a lazy shrug. "Maybe you should take me home then? Besides," She said, examining the food. "I'm suddenly in the mood for a different kind of treat."
Adrien's eyes seemed to darken as he stepped toward her, wrapping one hand behind her neck and pulling her in to a kiss.
A few meters away, Luka's brows raised as the other couple caught his attention. "Now that's just wasteful." He commented, noting the half-eaten treat sticks, now forgotten about on the ground. Marinette peeked from around him only for her eyes to widen at the sight.
"You guys are in public!" She shouted from across the way.
"Yeah!" Luka added, giving his best dad voice. "Don't you crazy kids know that's how babies are made!"
"Worry about yourselves!" Lucy shouted back from over her shoulder.
"We're not the ones making out like it's the last time we ever will!" Luka shouted back before looking at Marinette. "But we could be."
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low (I believe, I believe)
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know (I believe) oh (I believe)
I need know (I believe)
Yeah, I believe
Marinette's face for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 minutes went red. As she went to protest, Luka smiled at her. A smile that told her he wasn't actually expecting any such thing from her...and still...
"Screw it!" She cursed, lifting herself on her tippy toes and pressing her lips against his. Luka's eyes widened and his brows shot up, taken back by the kiss, but in only took a moment for him to relax, wrapping his arms around her back and lifting her so that neither would have to strain their necks any further.
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak (you say, you say, you say)
"I think it's safe to say that Marinette is definitely not in love with me anymore." Adrien commented at the sight of the two.
"Good," replied Lucy. "Because you're stuck with me."
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh you say I am yours
Ooh, ooh
(I believe)
Yes I believe
And there is the chapter! So as you can see I made a play on Adrien's mental health a bit. Him giving up his miraculous, in my opinion, was pretty irrational given the circumstances. But not only did he give up his miraculous, but went into this blah state where he acted like nothing mattered anymore.
A lot of Adrien sensitivity in the show is blamed on his love for Ladybug. Obviously I had to switch it up a bit to make it make sense here, thus expresso depresso Adrien is born. This isn't the first time we have seen him openly struggle with his emotions and mood and I thought it would make an interesting interpretation on things.
The song is called "You Say" by Loren Allred. It's a lovely song if you want to listen to it and get a better feel on what I was putting down there.
Anway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It honestly made me a little emotional myself because I relate to it. Remember to vote, and favorite and comment and tell me what you think! I love the feed back! Until next time!
