Surprise second chapter!
I honestly just felt like uploading this today. No special occasion or anything. I'm just a chapter ahead, and figured that you all would probably appreciate this.
So that's that!
Start Chapter 24
If Jaune's being honest, he probably should've expected such a response from Ghira Belladonna.
His decision to dismiss Sienna's proposal entirely seems a bit harsh, but at the same time, how can Jaune reasonably argue with it? If he'd been in his position… no, if he'd been in Blake's position, sitting there as one of her allies, hearing their proposal…
Would he not have wanted to turn it down, too?
He sighs as he tosses and turns in the little bedroom he's been given. The Belladonna mansion is massive, easily housing the eight uninvited guests it had suddenly become privy too, and still having room to spare. Jaune's not entirely certain where the rest of their number are resting – he'd been exhausted while they'd been divvying them out, despite the fact that he'd been passed out for a good half a day – but he thinks their rooms are likely adjacent to his, or nearby at the very least.
…
He wonders, sometimes, what it is he's doing here. How it is he's ended up where he's ended up. He sometimes wakes up and thinks about how this is all really happening. How Cinder is really his soulmate, how she's the Fall Maiden. How she's killed so many people, done so much wrong, and how the woman she serves means to do worse.
It is so infernally complicated, because at the end of the day, all Jaune really, actually wants is to protect her.
It is that very notion that has Jaune sighing and standing up, accepting the fact that he's not going to be getting to sleep anytime soon despite how frayed he's feeling – or perhaps because of it – and moving towards the door. He pulls it open and steps out into the hallway.
There's a guard down the hall who gazes his way as he makes it into the corridor, but he doesn't really seem to see him as much of a threat as he steps towards him in his nightclothes – which consist, of course, of a blue bunny onesie.
Jaune will not be taking complaints against the bunny onesie. It is by far the single most comfortable piece of clothing that he owns.
He's a second or so away from asking the man which room Cinder is in when he feels a little twinge across the wire inside his soul. It is… it feels different, somehow, to how it would have had Cinder intentionally done such a thing; had she called upon him as she sometimes does.
It feels like it originates from him, truth be told.
And it's just sort of… pointing.
Jaune marvels at the sensation for a moment. It is a pulling in his gut, like he's falling, only instead, it is angling towards the doors on the righthand side of the corridor. He takes a few steps, seeing if the pull will change as he moves, and lo and behold, it does, pointing to one door in particular at the end of the corridor.
Jaune perhaps should've known which door it would've been, given that it has two guards stationed outside of it.
He makes his way over, already accepting that he's about to be in for an awkward conversation.
"Nice outfit, kid." The first guard, an older, grizzled looking faunus with patches of scaly skin upon his face, addresses him.
"Thanks."
"It wasn't a…" The man sighs, but Jaune has heard every manner of insult thrown at his onesie already. If he'd cared about such trifling things, he wouldn't wear it.
"What do you want?"
"Er… well… I was wanting to enter into this room, if that's fine?"
"Why?"
The man is very gruff with his questioning, and though Jaune can understand it, given who they are, he also doesn't really want to explain the why of what he's doing very much.
He just wants to see his soulmate, but he has a feeling that won't really be taken well in this context, aka him trying to visit her room in the middle of the night.
Even he can see how that would look to an outside observer.
"Well… uh… y'see–"
"Hang on," The second guard, a variant of faunus he can't identify, but one with sharp teeth in her mouth like a piranha, studies him a moment. "Oh, wait, Harold, I think I know what's up." She grins at him predatorily, and Jaune already knows what she's about to say, what she's about to call him out for, before she even says anything. "This one's the girls soulmate."
Jaune winces, even as the other one cracks a wry smile of his own.
"Ah, I see, I see." Jaune can't help the way his face reddens at that. "Planning a midnight rendezvous there, then, chap?"
"N-No!" He tries to say, and it's the honest truth, but the way he stutters has done him absolutely no favors, he can tell.
"Mmmmmhm." The lady hums out, evidently unconvinced as she steps aside. "Well, we weren't given any explicit orders to prevent you guys from seeing each other or some such, so feel free."
"But if you two start mountin' each other like rabbits, we're breakin' down the door, understood?" The gruff old man snickers out as he steps aside as well. "The rest of the mansion's tryin' to sleep."
"R-Right!" Jaune stammers, red in the face, and the other guard is clearly holding back laughing at his pain. "We… won't do that!"
Both roll their eyes at him as he knocks on Cinders door once, trying to ignore the way the guards behind him are very clearly paying attention to his actions.
"Cinder?" He calls out as quietly as he can to hopefully still be heard. "If you're asleep, I'll go, but–"
"Come inside." Her voice echoes throughout the door, barely audible to Jaune, but audible nonetheless.
He does just that, trying to ignore the way that one of the guards behind him whispers "Bet ya' she's saying that a few more times tonight, eh?"
Jaune shuts the door behind him with perhaps more force than necessary.
Cinder evidently notices the odd look on his face, but decides not to comment on it for his sake.
Nor does she comment on the onesie, which definitely earns her points in his book.
"Hey." He eventually finds it in himself to mutter, hopefully quietly enough to not be listened in on by the guards still hovering about outside. He understands it's their job, but he doesn't have to be happy about it. "You were up, I take it?"
Cinder nods, even as she sits up somewhat, and beckons him forward.
He sits down on the side of her bed, looking across at her as she leans against the headboard.
"…This went about as well as I expected." Cinder speaks, and Jaune can't help but feel that it's a very her statement.
"Yeah, admittedly, it could've gone a lot better. I guess… when I think about it, I can't exactly blame Mr. Belladonna for the decision he made. Can you?"
"Not from a logical standpoint, no." Cinder shrugs. "It would've been idiotic for him to do such a thing. From the get-go, I did not think coming here would result in an easy alliance."
That had him curious. "Did you expect this kind of outcome?"
"I always expect this kind of outcome." Cinder admits. "I am often right."
Jaune frowns, even if he can't really dispute her words.
"As long as we're only, effectively, changing the label on the White Fang's cover, and not the identity of the one pulling the strings behind the scenes, Ghira Belladonna has no reason to ally with us at all." Cinder explains. "As long as we're with Salem, he is our enemy. I cannot blame him for considering us such."
That… there's a flash of something that jolts through Jaune's head, there. It's something that's been on his mind for a while now, ever since he and Cinder had talked about the effect that Salem has on her. The fear she'd instilled into Cinder from such a young age.
Jaune swallows on some spittle in his mouth, before parting his lips and asking simply…
"And what if we weren't?"
The way that Cinder eyes him in the next moment, with this look that says she knows what he's about to say, halts him for a moment, before he gathers the courage to continue.
"What if… we broke away from Salem?"
Cinder stiffens. She takes a breath, parts her lips, and then, with a sort of finality, states, "We're not discussing this."
"Why?" Jaune says, scootching just a bit closer to Cinder on the bed. "I understand the dirt that she has on you, and that you're… and that you're scared of her. But that's precisely why you shouldn't serve her."
"That's not possible." Cinder says, not meeting his eyes. "She's interested in you, and in me. The two of us... it's simply not possible."
"Cinder–"
"End of discussion, Jaune."
It's incredibly rare for Cinder to address him by his name. Rare enough that he gets the point that she's not going to be discussing this with him right now. If he's being honest, there's a part of him – a rather weak part – that's glad he doesn't have to have such a long and drawn-out conversation, but he's definitely not proud of that.
"Okay." He says, and as he does Cinder nods her head. It's a stilted motion, though, the kind of thing that Cinder does without really thinking about it.
She has those moments. Where Jaune can tell she's so caught in her own head that she just sort of… isn't there on occasion. She'll disappear for a few seconds, or longer even, until he or someone else calls out to her.
He decides to be a bit gentler in breaking her out of her reverie, simply reaching out and placing his hand atop her knee.
She startles somewhat, but it is muted compared to how she might normally flinch. She looks up at him and gives a more present nod this time.
He has something to say, actually. Beyond asking about their potential secession from Salem – which, in Jaune's eyes, will probably eventually need to happen, regardless as to how helpful the woman is, and how intrigued she is by Jaune, and how he sees her as kind of an older, almost grandmotherly figure. She is still too damaging for Cinder, and that matters more to him than anything else – but he'd come here to say something in particular.
"I'm sorry for jumping out into danger."
Cinder stiffens once again, evidently surprised by his confronting such a thing.
She doesn't say anything immediately, and Jaune understands if he wants to talk to her about this – because he'd been able to tell earlier, while they'd been walking through the jungles outside Menagerie, that she'd been more than a little upset with him about this – he's going to need to be rather open.
"What happened back in the White Fang base. When I jumped out into the middle of everything there… I should've at least said something to you first. I was just sort of out of it. By the time I even realized I was in danger, you were already there, protecting me."
He watches as a touch of red plays about Cinder's cheeks, and that brings the smallest curl to the corners of his lips.
"I'm sorry."
He can tell that saying it a second time is enough. He feels that something has stirred within Cinder at that, and he feels it in his link, as well. He stays silent as she sits up, and then…
And then she reaches out her hand towards his, and takes it, and pulls ever so gently.
And he allows himself to be pulled into her. Allows her to slot her head into the crook of his neck. Allows her to wrap her singular arm around his body, and grasp the back of his head. She runs her hand up through his hair, and seems to stay there for a while.
"…Don't do that so much."
"What?" He murmurs before he can really stop himself.
"You're always so willing to throw yourself into danger for others sakes. Even my own." Cinder whispers that part out, and he can feel her jaw tense along his shoulder, even as he feels the sensation in his own teeth. "You came after me, stayed with me… risked everything. And…" she takes a breath, like what she's about to say next is difficult for her to admit. "It scares me."
That's…
He's about to ask 'in what way' before Cinder continues.
"The fact that you gave up all of it for my sake… to stay with me, and to free me… its terrifying. More terrifying than Salem, or the end of the world, or… or anything else. Because if something happens to you, then it's my fault."
He holds Cinder a little tighter without really meaning to. "It's not your fault if something happens. I chose to come. I chose all of this. I wanted it."
"But you wouldn't have done a single part of it if not for me."
"You can't blame yourself for that, though." He tries to argue.
Cinder pulls away ever so slightly, enough so that he can see the expression on her face.
It shocks him with how utterly desolate it is.
"…I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." Cinder says with a shuddering breath. "I don't think… when I was training with Salem, there was a time when I tried to forget you… my little light." She says the title with such affection that it briefly staggers him. "But… on the worst days, when I'd vomit out every little bit of food in my gut from how hard my training was… and Salem would only press me further… it was those days where I held fast to you. Where I relied on your warmth. If I didn't have that… if I didn't have you… I doubt I'd be alive."
Jaune swallows, unable to fully grasp the weight of what Cinder is saying. Or perhaps he's running from it, unable to face it.
"I keep telling you that you underestimate yourself." Jaune whispers. "You're stronger than you know."
Cinder's hand pulls away from his hair, and instead finds his own, pulling it into their laps, which are practically fused together with how close they are. She laces their fingers together, and then…
"You're the only one who's ever said things like that." Cinder's voice is quiet, as if communicating some great secret. "That I'm strong, and not weak."
"How could anyone say that you're weak?" He had a half a mind to punch whoever it had been. Probably Watts, or Tyrian. "All you've been through, all you've suffered, and you've survived. You've made it."
"Made it to what?" Cinder laughs, but it's a sad, pitiful thing. "The only thing I've made it to is a crutch to hold onto. That doesn't make me strong."
"What's a crutch?" He knows, he just needs to hear Cinder say it.
"…You are."
He shakes his head. "I'm not a crutch, Cinder. I… it's not…" He's not entirely certain how to word it, but it is, in essence, coming back to a mental conversation he'd had with himself earlier in the day.
Unconditional love.
"It's not that I'm some crutch to allow you to be weak, even if I do want to let you do that," He says. "It's that I think you know that I'm not going to turn my back on you. I think there's a part of you that can recognize that I'm here for you. That you can trust in me. That I care about you. That I… that I love you."
It's a big thing to say, even if he doesn't necessarily mean it in a romantic fashion. He can tell that Cinder understands, because he imagines such a reveal would not be nearly as dramatic. The two of them are soulmates. The universe has destined them to be one another's romantic foils. Romance is practically a given.
But…
"…You do?"
"Of course, I do." He assures her, squeezing Cinder just that little bit tighter. "I… I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier. I didn't think you'd doubt that."
Cinder takes a breath, and again, it's shaky.
"…All my life, I just… I've learned not to assume things. Like that… like that things will get better, or that there's someone out there who'll care about me. And then you come along and it's just… everything's different."
He tries to smile, but her words are so terribly sad.
"That's why… that's why I'm so scared." Cinder says, and its perhaps the most honest that he's ever heard her. "Because it feels like this is all some dream. Some wonderful, beautiful dream, and the moment I look away, you'll… you'll disappear, and the spell will wear off, and I'll be back in that room, scrubbing the floors of the Glass Unicorn once again… all the magic in the world gone."
Jaune nods his head, and without really thinking about it, he leans forward, so that their foreheads are touching. They can't really meet each other's eyes like this, but he wants to offer Cinder some comfort, since he knows she's probably not going to look at him right now anyways.
She's always evasive with her gaze when she's being heartfelt. That fact never fails to make him sad.
"And it was just… it was so close." Cinder murmurs so very quietly. "Niko– Pyrrha… She saved you from Adam. When he drew his sword. He was faster than I was. And he had more than enough power to slash straight through your already frayed aura. For a split second, it was like the entire world flashed before my eyes. If Pyrrha hadn't held his sword in place… you would've…"
He can tell just how affected Cinder is by the way her body is shaking. Of course, he can feel her raw fear, the lingering panic that still hasn't all been driven away, but that's through their link. Jaune has always thought of such things almost as cheating.
To be able to recognize Cinder's emotions without having them handed to him, he feels, is somehow deeper. More intimate. Even if, in this case, it had hardly been difficult.
"I'm sorry." He whispers.
Cinder just shakes her head against his, stretching the skin on his forehead from side to side.
"How can you say that?"
"What?"
"It's… you apologize for it as if it is something you'll never do again, but we both know that's not the case." Cinder's voice carries some small degree of anger, but it is muted, mostly because Jaune knows it is mostly out of terror that she feels this way. "You'd do it again. I know you would."
He shuts his lips. Content to let her dictate the conversation. It feels somehow necessary.
"…Don't apologize for it." She eventually mutters. "Not… not when the way you are is… it…" Cinder practically growls. "I don't know how to say this properly. I'm not meant for these kinds of conversations."
"It's fine." He tries to reassure her with a soft smile, despite knowing she'll not see it. "No matter how bad you think you are at this, I love listening to what you have to say. It means a lot to me whenever you open up about how you feel."
Cinder absorbs that a moment, staying quiet.
"…I was always punished for it, in the past. It's why… it's why I'm so unwilling to speak my mind most times. With you it's different, admittedly, but… it is still difficult to simply… to simply say what I feel, when as a child I was ignored, or scorned, or beaten for such things. It was a waste of time for everyone I've ever known, and yet… with you it's…"
Jaune leans forward slightly. The distance between the two of them can't be much more than four or five inches.
"I find myself wanting to speak. To say everything that I feel. To just… to just let every thought in my head spill out until my voice no longer works. And yet I hold back. Again… again because I'm afraid. I always feel so afraid."
He nods his head, even as he takes Cinders hand in his own, and sort of absently rubs the back of it with his thumbs.
"I always want to be here for you, okay? No matter what it is that's bothering you, or even if there's nothing bothering you. Even if you just want to talk. I'm–"
"Don't promise me that." Cinder cuts him off. "I can't… I don't think I could stand it if something happened, and you–"
"Nothing will happen."
"You don't know that."
"…I guess I don't." He admits, because to claim otherwise would be false. "But… staying away just because it might make potential pain hurt less later… that doesn't seem like a good plan either, does it?"
Cinder lets out a shrill chuckle, though it contains no humor at all.
"…Then you believe I should simply leave all my cards out on the table? Take such a risk?"
"Well… it's ultimately up to you. I just… want you to know that no matter what you decide, I'm here for you. Even if something were to happen to me… I'd always be with you, okay?" He smiles, even if it's a sad thing. "I'm certain you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?"
Cinder bobs her head up and down a bit absently, and Jaune spies a tear threatening to spill down her face.
Without even thinking, he reaches up, and wipes them away.
It is in that moment, with his palm on Cinder's right cheek, and her suddenly meeting his gaze, that a feeling crosses through him. It is… unexplainably powerful. He has no words that could do it justice.
And yet…
Thoughts on that feeling sort of disappear when Cinder leans her head forward, closes her eye, and touches her lips against his.
They are soft, and warm, and wonderful, Cinder's lips. They taste… well, Jaune's always read about the heroes love interest having lips that taste wondrous, perhaps of strawberries or cherries or butterscotch, or other poignant things – maybe ash, or blood – but to Jaune, he thinks that Cinder's lips taste like nothing at all.
Or maybe he's simply too caught up in the moment to care at all what Cinder's lips taste like.
Simply too busy lost in the wonder of their first kiss.
It is not an overly long experience. It ends perhaps two or three seconds later, Cinder pulling away from him with a look in her gaze that is so horribly delicate, so soft and precious, that Jaune wishes he could wrap it up within his own two hands, like some fragile porcelain piece, and shield it from anything that might try and do it harm.
Even knowing he cannot, he is determined to make sure he can see this look again. That he doesn't…
That nothing happens to him.
He needs to be here for her. For Cinder. For the chained figure in his dream, who'd been wreathed in a flame of hatred, and power, and strength, and yet within, had been such a fragile thing.
"…Thank you." Cinder says, and it's all Jaune can do to smile more widely than he ever has.
"Mm. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
"I believe you." Cinder nods her head again, before looking away from him, her face burning red.
"Can I… make a request of you?"
"Of course."
"…" Cinder is rather clearly morbidly embarrassed, but she slides down from the headboard, laying back down on the bed below, and turning so that she faces him as she leaves some space beside herself.
"Would you… lay with me?"
His own face heats up as well, even as he tries to bite down on his own nerves.
"Mm. Yeah."
He crawls into bed beside her, facing her, their bodies no more than an inch or so apart. He wriggles slightly to get the blankets into a better position, and pulls them up so that they cover the both of them.
And he leans just a bit closer, and plants a kiss along Cinder's forehead.
"I'll be here whenever you need me."
Cinder's face is alight with embarrassment, and a tiny part of Jaune can't help but delight in that.
"…And if I always need you?"
That's a pretty simply answer for Jaune.
"Then I'll always be here."
End Chapter 24
Alright, nothing's changing regarding scheduling. Next chapter will still be two weeks from now, but I just kind of wanted to give you guys an extra chapter. As a treat.
See you all two weeks from now!
