7/9/23
"Nezuko-chan, we're finally at the Butterfly Mansion. Isn't that wonderful? "We finally made it! Isn't that wonderful?" The grating voice of the annoying female echoed through the darkness of the box.
Ume did not answer her question. She had her eyes closed shut and refused to open them, for deep down she dreaded the consequences. She didn't want to face reality just yet. In all honesty, she wanted to disappear, be far away from this place, from these humans, fade away back to the good old days. But of course, she couldn't. She could feel the hardwood beneath her just as much as she could feel the pain through every tangible part of her body.
I'm sorry, Big Brother. Forgive me.
I'm a traitor. I'm in the den of the enemy. I betrayed everyone.
She remained unmoving and silent in the box until the distinct sound of doors creaking open followed by rapid movement. A lurching shudder shook the floor beneath her. The box heaved back and forth as whoever was transporting was just sprinting, with not a shred of concentration for anything beyond that.
With another jolt, Ume cursed under her breath when the box jerked upward. Her forehead slammed into the hard wall before the box jerked again, slamming the back of her head into the wall hard. The harsh creaking of wood echoed throughout her eardrums, bouncing off the walls with a hollow whine. The carrier halted in her tracks, making Ume crash face-first onto the wall, coming only an inch away from possibly breaking her nose. Agony shot throughout Ume's body from the impact. She was left glaring darkly at the wall.
"Slow down, dumbass!" Ume cried.
There was a startled gasp from the woman that followed.
"Oh!…Deeply sorry Nezuko…" She said, causing anger to flare inside Ume's chest. "I didn't mean to upset you. I was running too fast, I'm sorry.."
Ume couldn't help but cringe when she heard the name again; she rolled her eyes before settling her back up against the wall. "No shit. I can feel that. Why are you bothering to tell me?"
The woman gasped again, this time offended rather than shocked. "Nezuko, you shouldn't speak like that! Think of Tanjiro. What would your elder brother say if he heard you?"
A greater spark of anger rose in Ume's chest as she served a hard kick that made the box shake. "Don't you dare bore me with such lectures! My brother would say well-done before telling you to drop dead!" Ume snapped. "Just shut up and walk straight, you stupid tramp!"
There was a shocked gasp sound from the stupid woman. "Nezuko! I know you're concerned about your brother…but he's fine. He's with Lady Kocho-sama as we speak, I promise. There is no need for tempers. The medical team will take great care of him and the others," She cleared her throat, but Ume could still hear the shaky tremor embedded in her throat and her voice resumed its brightness.
"You saved your brother's life so many times, you know? Benji told Lady Kocho-sama about how your obi stopped the bleeding and how you kept your brother from twisting in his slumber to keep his stitches from bursting. You should be very proud of yourself. Truly it's rather admirable, I just wanted to convey thanks on Tanjiro's behalf. So thank you so much!"
Ume gave an inward shiver. Her innocent words were like icy shards in her heart. Ume clenched her teeth, suddenly recalling her deed in the very beginning. She did save his life. Way more times than she liked to admit.
"I..I..also wanted to thank you for what you did last night. I don't know how you did it but turns out you were clearly right, Nezuko-chan, there are reports going around the base from our dutiful crows about a dangerous demon roaming the area we were walking in. You saved our necks back there."
A pregnant pause of silence reverberated through the box as Ume shuddered from the simple reminder of her grave decision. Don't remind me. Don't.
"Oh guess what," The annoying woman's voice shattered her train of thought. "A package and a letter from Urokodaki-sensei came last night. It's for your brother. It's waiting for him in his room. Doesn't that sound sweet?" The woman's voice had become even more irritating than before. It was whimsical and cheerful, resembling the tone one would use when speaking to a simple child.
"Hurry up." Ume snarled, furious that this woman was using such a patronizing tone with her. She was talking to her as if she was simple-minded.
The woman began to move faster, this time much more steady and she was still rambling on. But Ume wasn't listening anymore. "Hurry up," She repeated harshly. Her firm eyes landed on the hardwood of the box with a death glare of warning.
It was several moments later when the box finally stopped moving. "It's safe to come out now. You're in your room. You're home.'' The annoying woman beckoned in a soft, but nervous voice.
But Ume refused to come out and the annoying woman became more incessant.
"Oh, what's wrong? You usually pop out of the box whenever you're awake. Are you still nervous about Tanjiro, Nezuko-chan? I promise you, he will be fine. He's in good hands, I promise. Or are you nervous about the time of day because you want to go see him? It won't be long, it's only noon now."
Ume clenched her jaw tight in great irritation. Good lord, why is this girl yammering so much all of a sudden?
"Do you want me to stay with you, Nezuko-chan? I'll take you to him once night hits. Are you listening? Please say something."
"Just shut up. I am not tired nor am I nervous! Stop speaking to me as if you know me." Ume snapped almost instantly, scowling in obvious distaste. "I'm just sitting in here!"
"Nezuko-chan!" The stupid woman gasped out in shock. "I…I..I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you. I know you're stressed, so I'll give you some space." Her alarmed voice trailed off and Ume could hear the woman's footsteps descending out of the room and departed the room so that the young demon felt comfortable enough to investigate her surroundings.
Breathing in rhythmic patterns, Ume pushed it ajar with a light creak and peered through the gap. There wasn't much to see really. From the narrow gap, she could only see half of a small room dimly lit by the golden light of a single flickering lamp.
Ume pushed the door wide open, the air surrounding her quiet and cold. She slowly crawled out of the box, her hollow eyes grazing the scene before her listlessly.
The room was tiny and modest, containing only a single bed and a futon tucked away beneath the metal frame. To the left of the bed was a bookshelf with three storage cabinets built into its base. A small flickering lamp resting on top of a sturdy-looking study desk. It was a simplistic room, but Ume could find no sense of peace. It might as well be a dark prison cell with little to no light shedding. The singular glowing lamp fitted across the room, radiating a faint but eerie light into the emptiness, accentuating the dire situation Ume found herself in.
She fought hard to keep herself on her feet, spent from the emotional hurricane that had just ripped through her.
I'm so far away from Yoshiwara….I'm in the Demon Slayer headquarters now. I can't believe it.
Ume felt all her remaining strength disappear as soon as she stood up in her new setting. I'm not even in my own private room.
Ume released a weary sigh and her gaze fell onto the black-green checkered haori sewed up and folded neatly on his bed alongside his plain black sheath for his sword. Looking at the two items made the thoughts churned in her head. Ume started to feel the bitterness seep into her when she recalled watching Tanjiro's role in the final battle from the rooftop; the lone soldier who carried on when all hopes should have lost.
It was surprising, any normal Demon Slayer would've resigned their terrifying fate and welcomed death with open arms and just let himself be devoured to end his wretched existence,
Instead, Tanjiro fought—he fought valiantly against the primary holder of the Upper Moon Six. He looked as if he was so full of life; the hero, the brave little brat with a determined gaze that spoke of righteous dreams. Beautiful and strong as a Hashira. He wanted to continue to live, to continue fighting.
Although it pained Ume to admit this, it was safe to say that Daki had underestimated him and that was what cost her everything in the end.
She straightened herself irritably, squeezing her fists together by her sides, and did her best to compose her frazzled nerves. Her eyes took sudden notice of a small box resting on the desk across the room. She had been so immersed in her drowning predicament that she had overlooked the object. She saw that a fine envelope tied with a stiff rice paper cord was laid on top of it.
"This must be the package that stupid assistant was prattling on about," Ume growled wearily, not sure why she was even bothering with the stupid thing.
At first, Ume was just about to dismiss the box until she remembered how she had nothing else to do in this tiny room. Absent-mindedly, she found herself tearing open it and pulled out a simple letter addressed to Tanjiro.
Greetings, Kamado Tanjiro
Tanjirō-san, I am aware that it has been five months since I last wrote to you. My schedule has been quite occupied with the influx of new students, preparing them for the next Final Selection. I have been keeping up with your letters and it fills my heart with joy to hear about your tremendous progress. It is commendable that you have developed both Water Style and Hinokami Kagura techniques in such a short period and you are continuing to keep Nezuko humble and restrained so far. The both of you are continuing to protect so many human lives throughout your journey. I encourage you and your younger sister to continue adhering to my teachings in the Demon Slayer Corps.
Don't lose, Tanjiro or your sister.
You must not lose this war.
Sincerely, Urokodaki Sakonji.
"You must not lose this war." Ume echoed the concluding sentence.
Those words shouldn't have that much of an impact on someone, especially an Upper Moon of all things, but they did. Ume did not even realize her heart was pounding until her eyes fell on the box on the desk.
With deliberate slowness, she set the letter down on the desk and opened the box, revealing a dark attire of a dark gakuran jacket, a white belt, and baggy chocho zubon pants. The standard Demon Slayer uniform. She took it out from the box, inspecting it with a heavy heart as the letter's words rang in her ears. She picked up the cloak, smoothing a dark fabric with the engraved kanji on the back of it.
(滅めつ Metsu.) Destroy.
The one single word summed up the sole purpose of the Demon Slayer Corps. The adversaries dedicated themselves to destroying them through a multitude of well-refined techniques and tools developed across centuries to eradicate the Demon race from the world.
Ume didn't know how long she stared at it, nor was she aware that she was holding her breath. The raw silence was suffocating as the seconds passed.
"A Demon Slayer..." Ume echoed out in disbelief, her fingertips softly touching the smooth leather. Her mind started drifting and a faltering thought crept up into her mind like a phantom.
"Perhaps…this is my purpose.."
A strike of silence passed the room after she thought that. "Fight my own kind…?" Ume murmured sullenly. "For…humans? Protect humans? The very creatures that inflicted misfortune and pain on me and my brother…"
It was almost laughable to even consider. After all, she was a first-hand participant that devoured mankind beneath the enigmatic shroud of midnight's shadows. The simple thought of fighting a futile war with Demons just seemed ludicrous.
No, she corrected inwardly. This is hardly even a war; it is a one-sided massacre by powerful, eternal creatures. Predator against prey. Humanity is helpless. Humans will always die. No matter how hard Demon Slayers tried to rebel against it, humans always die. They get sick, they grow old, or they become food for demons to consume.
Violence was the one thing that one can never take from humanity, it was the unavoidable truth of the world.
Demons killing humans, Humans killing demons, and humans killing humans…
It is the natural order of things.
So what's the point of fighting for humanity when it is already doomed, to begin with?
Ume shut her eyes and let out a long breath, remembering her past. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. After all the tragedy that she had been through, Ume wanted nothing more than to crawl onto the cold, stone ground and die. But as she thought that, a mental image of Tanjiro's red haunting eyes flashed in her head and her face creased in disgust.
She could see that special element in his red eyes, a certain type of warmth that had her throat closing up.
It was strange really. Ume was certain that she would be more repulsed by the thought of fighting a futile war with her own race. After all, she was once an Upper Moon herself.
She, who had witnessed herself and her brother waste away into nothing due to the constant neglect by all those humans who never give them the time of day.
She, who had brought people to their demise time after time during her former eternal life.
She, who couldn't even protect the one person in the world she cared about.
Ume would never forgive herself. She was no hero, and she doubted that she had the heart to become one anytime soon.
No. This is just foolish.
"These humans are on a fool's errand," Ume muttered. "Humans will never win. Ever. They don't stand a chance in hell against the demon race. Even though me and Gyutaro are long gone, there will always be five other stronger Upper Moons to deal with. It is futile."
But oddly enough, despite her words, she did not feel the usual repugnance that would wash over her whenever her eyes laid on that kanji building up within her. Instead, she felt her heart begin to pound at an astounding speed.
The sudden sensation was utterly jarring to her as a plethora of frustration came thrashing out at her—she was once an Upper Moon Six, so why couldn't she feel disgusted by the very kanji of the adversary as she had always been before?
What is wrong with me? Is this body making me feel this way or have I lost touch already? Have I truly lost my mind as well? Ume clenched her jaw tight until she felt pain. Am I truly that pathetic?
Her cynical thoughts left her feeling hollower. Ume wanted to throw the clothes back into the box, but she found herself stopping mid-action instead.
Her lips thinned. It was like a splash of icy cool water on her skin, and she couldn't exactly pinpoint this strange influx of emotions. It was only moments later did she finally have a name for this odd feeling.
Hope.
Was this what she was waiting for? The true answer to her predicament? Her atonement? Her redemption? A purpose to continue living when she had long resigned herself to death? A choice that finally she could make for herself?
To work alongside the enemy, alongside Tanjiro, and hopefully, somewhere down the line, find the answer to how to reunite with her brother in the afterlife?
Is that the path that the divine seeks her to follow?
The unanswered question was suspended over her head like a dark cloud. It left an agonizing stinging in her heart and a nauseating churning in her stomach. But Ume willed it to fade and composed herself.
She would not cry. She no longer had any tears to shed.
So many things she had lost, so much pain and abuse that she had to endure. Even after her rebirth as a demon, Ume had experienced more agony and heartbreak than she could ever dream she could experience in a lifetime.
But just as Gyutaro had taught her, you have to make many choices. Some are important, some trivial, and some insignificant. The choices people make nevertheless determine a large part of their perseverance, and survival. Because one always must live with the consequences of their choices.
And now, for the first time in her life, a choice that she could make had fallen in front of her.
Ume grabbed onto the uniform and changed into it. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror when she was done, and she felt a rare flicker of hope in her stale heart.
"A Demon Slayer..." Ume echoed out in disbelief, her fingertips softly touching the reflective mirror.
Everything about this was downright foolish. It wasn't as though she hadn't done horrible things—she had. Cruel and vicious things, void of any compassion. The thought of her being a righteous warrior for the Demon Slayer Corps was baffling even to herself.
But too often in life when something happens, one blames others for their unhappiness. However, no matter the circumstances, everyone has a choice — to accept the situation or to curse it.
For once, Ume decided to accept the situation. It wasn't like she had anything to lose anyway; people who had nothing feared nothing. If she would have to gamble with fate, then so be it.
Survive. That was what she needed to do for now.
And Ume knew for a fact that she was a survivor.
Because she was strong — not just because of her skills, but because of her innate ability to live through hell.
