Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warning: None for this chapter.
Chapter 5 – Making Amends
Sirius walked over to Kate and gently tapped her on the shoulder. When she looked up at him, he smiled nervously. "May I sit down?"
"Of course," Kate replied, moving a book she'd place on the bench a bit closer to her. She gestured to the place beyond where the textbook lay.
Don't want me too close to you, eh? "Morg – Kate; I'm sorry about this afternoon," Sirius said quietly. "I was rude and inconsiderate. Actually, I was an idiot and I'm really sorry."
Kate looked at him for a long moment, but said nothing.
Sirius felt his heart sink and was about to get up and walk back to his usual seat when she finally spoke. "Thank you," she said softly.
"Oh. Yeah," he replied. The silence hung between them, neither really knowing what to say to the other beyond the words they'd already spoken.
"Can I move this book?" Sirius asked. "It's just that I feel like we've got enough between us and even though this is a little thing, it's like a barrier." Sirius looked down at his hands, folded on the table in front of him then back at her. "I hate barriers."
Kate nodded and Sirius picked up the book, carefully, and handed it to her. "Here. Thanks."
"So, I guess you're dating that girl," Kate finally spoke.
"Who? Delilah? Oh … no, no; I'm not dating Delilah," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "Why would you think I was dating …" his voice trailed off. "Oh."
Kate smiled. "Yes, 'oh'. You seemed … attracted to her. Is that the kind of girl who attracts you?"
Sirius hesitated. He wanted this girl to like him – no, more than that - he wanted her to respect him and that was surprising to him. "Liking" and "respecting" were foreign concepts to him as neither was emphasized at home. His parents respected power and appearance and connections. It mattered little to them whether or not they were liked – and they confused envy with respect on a consistent basis. For the first time in his life, Sirius was not confused about what he wanted in that regard. Kate was not like the other girls he'd been with and she was certainly not like Delilah. He might not completely understand what he felt for Kate, but he did understand that it was nothing like he'd felt before.
"I'm sorry," Kate was putting books into her bag. "That was out of line; your relationships are none of my business, after all." She was rising and all Sirius wanted to do was stop her before she got away from him again.
"Wait," he said reaching out to take her arm. "You don't have anything to apologize for here; really. I was just thinking about how I want to say this. I don't want there to be any more misunderstandings."
Kate sat back down and watched him carefully.
"Delilah is a girl I would flirt with; she is not a girl I would have any kind of a real relationship with. I am not attracted to her in that way. I'm almost 16 and I guess I don't think about relationships," Sirius said. "Kate, I like girls. I like to flirt with them. I like the way it feels to be liked by them. I like the way I feel about myself."
"Sirius, I want to say something to you; you might not like it, but I need to say it." Kate paused and took a deep breath. "I'm not the kind of girl who flirts, ok? I'm not good at it; I never have been. I don't necessarily think that it's harmless; at least not the kind of flirting that escalates into something more. I think that flirting can sometimes lead people to get carried away."
"So, basically, you're not that kind of girl," Sirius said.
Kate shook her head. "No, I'm not. More than that, though, I just don't want to get hurt."
"I would never hurt you, you know." Sirius stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes. "You make me feel like a slag," Sirius said, his voice quivering in his indignation. "A cheap slag who just wants to get into a witch's knickers and then never speak to her again afterward."
"I never said that, Sirius," Kate said quietly. "All I've said is that I'm not comfortable with that kind of flirting, that kind of situation. If you feel that way, it's of your own doing; I've never said I thought that little of you."
"Well, I never said that I thought you were the type of girl I would flirt with," Sirius was still stung by what he felt Kate had implied.
Kate shook her head sadly. "And you were never going to hurt me," she said and then brushed by him on her way to the dormitory.
Sirius looked after her then turned to join Remus at the Marauders' usual seats. James and Peter, who had by now joined their friend, moved to make room.
Remus was the first to speak. "What happened?"
"She thinks I'm a slag," Sirius said bitterly.
"She said that?" James wanted to know. "Because it doesn't sound like something she would say."
"You know her so well, do you?" came Sirius' angry retort. "Taking her side over your best mate's, are you?"
"Oi, Padfoot, calm down," James said, reaching over and clamping his hand around the other boy's arm. "I'm not taking sides against you; I just meant that Kate doesn't seem the type to say something like that. I don't know her any better than you do, after all."
Sirius snorted and looked around at his friends. "You can think whatever you want to about her, but I know what I heard," he said. "And even if she didn't say that word, she got her point across."
Remus spoke up. "Perhaps it would be helpful if you told us exactly what she did say."
Sirius shook his head. "I said sorry about Hogsmeade and she was ok about it all. Then she asked me if I was dating Delilah. I tried to explain to her that girls like Delilah didn't interest me as far as serious relationships were concerned. I told her that I liked girls; liked flirting with them. She said she wasn't 'that kind of girl'; she didn't like 'that kind' of flirting. Said she wasn't good at it and that it led to things that hurt other people."
"Well, Sirius, she does have a point, there," James said after a few minutes had passed. "I mean, you are pretty fickle where the birds are concerned…even at your tender age. What's the longest you've been with one girl?"
Sirius' face reflected his irritation with his friend. "I thought you were my friend, James and here you are saying terrible things about me."
"How long, Sirius?" James asked again.
"Well, last year I was with that Eleander girl for – Merlin – it must have been a good 6 months," he replied.
"Her name was Eleanora and it was 6 weeks, Padfoot," Remus contributed, shaking his head. "How can you be angry with what Kate said if you can't even remember the names of the witches you've dallied with?"
"You're not even 16 yet, Padfoot," Peter observed. "You'd better slow down or you'll wear it out."
Sirius' eyes widened in disbelief as he listened to his friends. He was used to criticism; he had enough of it at home. His friends were generally kinder to him, however, and this entire conversation was making him feel more than a little bit put upon.
"For your information, Wormtail, it doesn't 'wear out'," Sirius spat. "And even if it did, I'm not shagging every bint who stops in front of me, so I'm in no danger. You three make it sound like I'm dragging witches into broom cupboards by the hair against their will all hours of the day and night. Well, you're all wrong." He got up. "But I'll tell you this; the witches I have been with were all very nice and very willing and they made me feel like I was worth something. I don't really feel worth anything right now." And Sirius walked away, ignoring the calls from his friends as he exited the Great Hall and made his way up the staircase.
"Sugar Zombies," he bit out when he reached the portrait hole and the Fat Lady swung to, allowing him to pass into the Common Room.
He stomped into the room, looking neither left nor right, making a beeline for the wingback chair in the window-corner of the room. When Sirius was out of sorts, this was his favorite place to sit and think; situated in the shadows, it allowed him a full view of the room while allowing him to hide away. It was perfect for his current mood. Without thinking, he threw himself into the chair and was greeted with a muffled, "Oof!"
Sirius leapt up as though bitten and turned to see Kate sitting awkwardly in the chair.
"What are you doing there?" he demanded, shock taking the place of any semblance of manners.
"Getting the wind knocked out of me by you, obviously," Kate replied, removing her book from her lap and rubbing the spot on her stomach where Sirius' body had pushed it.
"Aren't you supposed to be at dinner with your friends?" Kate pushed herself into a more upright position in the chair.
"I'm not hungry," Sirius replied, sitting on the ottoman a short distance away from her. "What about you? I thought you were going to wash up and come back down to eat with your friends."
"I wasn't hungry," Kate echoed his earlier comment. "I'm certainly not hungry now," she added, rubbing her stomach again.
"Oh … yeah, well…I'm sorry about that," Sirius said, finally. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I can breathe normally again," she said. "Did you want me to move so you can have the chair?"
Sirius shook his head. "No, thanks; I'll go over there," he pointed vaguely in the direction of the sofa. "You can go back to your book."
Kate was surprised, but managed to keep a straight face as she opened her book, unfolding the crease in her page that was the result of Sirius' blind leap onto her lap.
Sirius walked over to the sofa and sat down – but not before he turned around and looked cautiously at the cushion. Once settled, he put his feet up on the low table in front of the sofa, folded his arms over his chest and fixed his gaze on the blazing fire in the hearth. For awhile, the only sounds in the room were the crackling logs and the periodic soft turn of a page as Kate continued to read. Sirius, never comfortable with silence, finally broke it.
"So, why weren't you hungry?" he asked, looking over at Kate.
"I don't know," she replied. "Perhaps because I had a larger breakfast than usual."
Sirius shook his head. "No, that can't be it. Breakfast was hours ago."
Kate gave him an amused look. "Alright, then; you tell me. Why wasn't I hungry?"
"Well, I'm no expert, but I suspect it might have been because something – or someone took away your appetite," Sirius had turned his attention back to the fire and now cast a sidelong glance in Kate's direction.
Ah, figured it out, have you? Kate put her finger on her place in her book and looked up at him. "Any ideas?"
"As a matter of fact, I've seen this sort of thing before," Sirius said, nodding his head and coming back to sit on the ottoman. "'Git-itis. Common ailment amongst teenage wizards. Involves sticking their feet into their overly-large mouths – repeatedly in the more severe cases. It's very painful; for people around the patient as well as for the wizard, himself, once he realizes what he's done."
Kate's expression softened. "Really? Is there no cure for – what was it? – 'Git-itis'?"
Sirius took heart that Kate had neither fled the room nor slapped him - yet. He shook his head. "Sadly, only maturity. And even then, if the wizard isn't diligent, he is subject to the odd relapse. Of course, the symptoms can be minimized if people around him remind him – gently, of course – that he's begun to show signs again. He can then review his behavior and make the necessary adjustments."
"I see," Kate responded. "It sounds as if the condition isn't completely hopeless, doesn't it?"
Sirius smiled. "I certainly hope so. Kate, I'm so sorry about this afternoon – before and after in the Great Hall. I really didn't mean to hurt you. I …," he wasn't sure where to go from there. I'm not careless with witches? Probably not entirely true. He certainly didn't stay with any of them for very long, did he? I don't sleep around? Although Sirius fervently believed that even though he was sexually active, he didn't qualify as being indiscriminate or loose. He just wasn't too sure if his definition of those things was entirely accurate. He felt something on his arm and looked down to see that Kate had rested her hand on it.
"It's alright, Sirius," she said to him softly. "I understand."
"Do you forgive me?" he asked, equally quietly. "I know that I probably don't deserve it, but I'd like it all the same. And I will try to behave myself."
"Sirius, stop; I forgive you."
"Really?"
"Really."
"What if I'm stupid again? Even if I try really hard not to be."
"I'm a witch, Sirius – and I'm good at it. Depending upon how stupid you get, I'll probably hex you," Kate said, withdrawing her hand and putting her book back in her bag.
Sirius smiled and reached for her hand, giving it a quick squeeze. "I like you, Kate Morgan."
"Sirius Black, Merlin help me, I like you, too. Let's try to just keep things that way this time, ok?"
"Yeah, ok," Sirius was still grinning, but his smile slipped when she stood up and shouldered her book bag. "Wait – where are you going?"
"I'm hungry – finally. I thought I'd try to get down to the Great Hall before dinner ended," she explained.
"I could eat, too, but dinner is just about over. Could you wait a bit – perhaps 30 minutes or so?" Sirius asked.
"I suppose so, why?"
"Well, if we give them time to clear the Great Hall, the house elves will be finished in the kitchen and if we slip down there, they'll feed us," Sirius said, smiling. "Ever been down to the kitchens?"
Kate shook her head. "I have a feeling that's about to change."
Thirty minutes later, she was proven right. Standing next to Sirius, Kate watched him move his index finger over a pear painted into a picture hanging on the wall in what appeared to be a deserted corridor. She was stunned when the pear began to wriggle in its painted dish and even more so when a door appeared to the right of the frame. Sirius turned to her and waggled his eyebrows up and down. "Shall we?" he opened the door and stepped to the side to allow Kate to enter.
"How did you make this happen?" Kate asked as she passed into the room.
"I tickled the pear," he grinned. "It's magic, you see!"
Kate rolled her eyes. "You don't say!" But she was smiling as she said it.
The two teenagers walked into the room and were warmly greeted by a host of house elves, who insisted they sit down and have dinner. When Sirius and Kate each had a full plate in front of them and a large pitcher of iced pumpkin juice, the house elves discreetly moved away from their immediate vicinity to give the young people their privacy.
"So, how did you ever come across the kitchens?" Kate poured each of them a tumbler of juice and handed Sirius his glass.
"Desperation, really," Sirius responded. "James and I were caught out at one prank or another right after our last class. Filch was so incensed with us that he put us in detention straight away – with no dinner. After marching ourselves all over the school, scrubbing away in the bathrooms, we were starving and dinner was long past over. We ran into one of the house elves laying the fire in the Common Room and he told us how to get in. It's been our salvation ever since and now, gentleman that I am, I'm sharing it with you."
"And I thank you," Kate said, smiling, laying down her fork. "I am full to the gills," she added. "I couldn't eat another bite if I had to."
Sirius smiled. "Lightweight," he teased.
"Mmm," she murmured. "Listen, as much as I hate to break this up, I have homework to do. Do you mind if I…."
"Not at all. I should probably stun the hell out of a couple of professors and attack my assignments, as well. I'll walk with you," Sirius replied.
After thanking the house elves and repeatedly assuring them that they needed nothing more, Sirius and Kate departed the kitchen and headed back to their Common Room.
As they approached the portrait, Sirius took Kate's hand. "Thanks for having dinner with me. Hey, I think we just had our first date!"
Kate pulled a horrified face. "Oh, we couldn't have! We didn't exchange one angry word and we're still talking to each other. Doesn't seem likely that we were together long enough for a whole date if that's the case!"
"Funny, Kate. I think we did have a semi-proper date, so…" he paused then leaned over and kissed her cheek lightly. "There's a goodnight kiss at the door."
Kate's eyes went wide and Sirius experienced a moment of panic, thinking that perhaps he had crossed the line. Then, she smiled. "Well, as long as we had at least a semi-proper date, that was ok. Come on, this isn't getting our homework done, is it?"
Once again, Sirius held the door open for her and she walked through. As Sirius followed her into the Common Room, James, Remus and Peter looked over at him. He grinned widely at his three friends who looked from him to Kate and back again. As one, they returned his smile, relieved that at least for now, things seemed to have righted themselves.
