Beneath Your Beautiful
Chloe woke up to the sound of silence.
Strange.
What time was it if Rory wasn't crying for breakfast yet?
Judging by the honeyed light that was creeping beneath the curtains of the bedroom, it had to be after six already.
Rolling over the sheets that Lucifer got her – and reveling in the luxurious feel of satin beneath her body – she looked at the alarm clock beside the bed. 6:49 A.M.
Chloe smiled, allowing herself to flop back onto the bed. Lucifer had given Rory a bottle of milk at around three in the morning, and she'd fallen asleep twenty minutes later without a fuss.
She's finally starting to sleep for longer stretches of time, she thought. At a month and a half, that's not bad.
But Chloe was awake now despite Rory still being asleep. Even though she and Lucifer took turns for feeding and changing Rory at night, they both got three hours of sleep at best.
Because when the Antichrist when hungry, she demanded to be heard.
Her lungs were in peak condition, no doubt about that.
Allowing herself to relax for a blissful, childfree moment, Chloe turned on her other side.
Lucifer was lying on his back just a few inches away from her, his hair mussed into unruly curls during the night. The sheets were tossed around his waist – revealing the well-sculpted chest she couldn't help but admire for a second.
One arm rested above his head on the pillow while the other played out the side – as if subconsciously reaching for her. The dark stubble on his chin provided a pleasant contrast with the sun-kissed hue of his skin.
Her Lucifer.
Chloe scooted closer towards her partner, careful not to wake him up. When he didn't stir, she shifted a few inches closer until they were lying side by side.
Ever so slowly, she lowered her chin on her chest so she could gaze up at him. And even though she was splayed half on top of him, he didn't wake up. His breathing remained even and deep.
Chloe let out a pleased hum and rested her chin on his pleasantly warm skin. How she could relish lying together in bed like this – just being in each other's presence.
Their own little slice of Heaven.
A hand tentatively brushed her side just as she was starting to doze off. She startled for a moment before relaxing into the touch.
"Did I wake you up?"
"No," Chloe said, lifting her head to meet a familiar gaze. "I was just resting a little."
Lucifer's mouth curled into a smile, the sleepiness in his eyes slowly fading. He put his other arm around her and slowly pulled her upward until they were almost nose to nose.
"I must admit, my love, you chose an excellent resting place."
"I know, right?" Chloe nestled herself against him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, her movements still slow with sleep. "I'm just trying to see if you glow as well. Like father, like daughter?"
Lucifer stroked her sleep-tussled hair, causing her to look up at him. He gifted her a tender smile as his gaze softened.
"My dearest Detective - if I were capable of glowing when happy, I would put the sun to shame each time I am in your presence."
Chloe's heart skipped a beat when the meaning of his words sank in. God, how did he always manage to say such beautiful things without ever sounding cheesy? It wasn't fair, but she's not complaining.
An identical smile spread over her features. She shuffled closer to him, draping an arm over his shoulder. "Really?"
"Really. I'm certain you could strap me to long pole and use me as an improvised lighthouse – as long as you're by my side."
Not knowing how to reply to that, Chloe leaned in closer and closed the distance between. Her lips brushed his in a sweet, languid kiss.
"I love you," she murmured against his lips as Lucifer cupped the back of her head. "Even if you don't glow."
Chloe felt him laugh against her, the sound rumbling in his chest. He playfully nipped at her bottom lip. "I love you, too. More than I can ever put into words. But please allow me to show you once more."
With practiced ease, Lucifer nudged her onto her back, using one hand to hold himself up while the other tangled in her hair. Licks of heat traveled up her spine when he gently bit her lip again, asking for entrance.
Chloe parted her lips and he swept inside, claiming her mouth in a searing kiss. She sighed, surrendering herself. When was the last time they'd had a moment like this to themselves?
Just the two of them, no kids or colleagues or unexpected angels.
Just them.
Lucifer moved from her lips to her jawline, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses along her skin. He nibbled at her earlobe, and she couldn't stop the soft gasp that escaped her. She could stay here forever.
Spurred on by her gasp, Lucifer lowered his mouth to the shell of her ear. His warm breath brushed against the delicate skin, sending shivers down her spine.
"You look absolutely ravishing this morning, do you know that? Good enough to eat."
Chloe's mind was so clouded with love and arousal that she could barely utter a coherent sentence. And he hadn't even properly touched her yet.
She wanted him. But –
Lucifer slowly slid his hands under her pajama top, hiking the garment up to her middle. His fingertips grazed her skin, and Chloe's entire body locked up.
She went rigid, all the desire evaporating from her in an instant. What if he didn't find her attractive anymore? Or –
"Chloe? Is everything alright? Do you want me to stop?"
Lucifer was still hovering above her, but the heat had vanished from his dark eyes. It was replaced by a deep worry, and perhaps even a twinge of hurt. He moved his hand from her side and smoothed her top back down.
"Is this better? Did I hurt you?"
Chloe swallowed, casting her eyes down. Christ, this was embarrassing. "No. I, um, it's just –"
But she was spared from answering a loud cry sounded down the hallway. Looks like the Antichrist had finally woken up.
Lucifer sat back on his knees and made to get up so he could hold Rory. She sat up and laid a hand on his forearm.
"I'll get her. It's my turn, anyway. You should try and get some more sleep, since you didn't get much last night."
He opened his mouth to protest for a second, but closed it again. "Alright. Give the little glowstick a kiss from me. I think I'll read a bit for my lecture tonight."
"Okay," Chloe nodded, wanting to get out of the room. She felt like she could crawl out of her skin. What was wrong with her today? "Will do."
"Chloe?"
She paused in the doorway, turning to see her partner still sitting on the sheets. He had an air of confusion about him, though he tried and failed to mask it with a faltering smile.
"Yes?"
"Are we – are we okay? You can tell me if something's wrong, you know. I'm here for you."
A rush of affection went through her. How she loved him – with his sincirety and genuine concern for her. The gentle-hearted Devil.
Chloe gave him a smile – a true smile. "I know, honey. I'll – I'll explain later, okay. It's nothing to worry about, trust me."
Lucifer's features lit up, and some of the tension left his body. He dragged a hand through his hair, upsetting his curls. "Alright. I love you."
"Love you, too."
It wouldn't be hard to explain, Chloe thought as she walked to the nursery. Lucifer would probably understand.
The only problem was she didn't know quite know how to explain it.
Because she wasn't making any sense to herself right now.
"- and this one's a venue in the hills of Napa Valley. Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Traditional villa with a magnificent view of the surrounding vineyards. It would be so lovely, dear."
Chloe nodded absently, wishing for a second that her tea was a glass of scotch instead. "Yeah, sounds nice, mom."
"I know one of the sommeliers there, and he definitely recommends it." Penelope pushed her sunglasses into her perfectly coiffed hair and sipped her martini. "What are your thoughts, Lucifer?"
Lucifer – bless his heart - was actually paying attention to her mother's advice and suggestions about the wedding. He leafed through the folder on the table. "That does look nice, indeed. But in the end, it's the bride's choice."
"I've never heard of such a rule before," Penelope tutted. " And I will be damned, Chloe Jane Decker, if you get married at city hall again."
"No offense, by the way," her mother added with a look at Lucifer. "With you being the Devil and such."
"None taken, dear Penelope. I've heard much worse in my life. The Middle Ages were particularly nasty."
Penelope halted for a second, the full weight of Lucifer's existence hitting her at once. Her mind short-circuited, and then she composed herself again.
"Very well. Now –"
Rory cooed from inside the stroller next to Lucifer. Her partner leaned over the side, his face breaking into a huge smile. He carefully reached inside and picked her up, cradling her in his arms.
"Come here, you little glowstick. You look so pretty today, don't you?"
Lucifer had put Rory in a miniature peach-and-cream colored dress with a matching sunhat. The color made her eyes pop, he claimed.
But Chloe knew deep down that he just found her downright adorable.
Rory nestled herself against her father, one tiny hand clutching the lapel of his suit jacket. Her big, dark eyes took in the café around her.
Then she started to glow.
"What the –" Penelope's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets as she leaned in closer to study her faintly shining grandchild. Her mouth fell open.
"Oh, blast," Lucifer muttered, looking around to see if any nearby tables had noticed the Antichrist. "That's inconvenient in public. Can you hold her, my love? I'm going to get her blanket from the Corvette to cover her."
Chloe took Rory from him as he stood up and went to the car, cradling the happy girl against her. The glow wasn't fading, but it wasn't that obvious in the afternoon light.
Small blessings.
It's going to be really challenging to go outside with her once her wings come out. We're going to need a back-up plan or two. Or three.
"Is that – is she okay?"
"Yeah, its fine, mom. She just does this whenever she's content. It fades after a while."
Penelope swallowed and sat back in her seat, not entirely convinced. "I…see. It's some angel thing, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Chloe replied, booping Rory on the nose. She giggled and tried to catch her mother's finger. "Courtesy of her father's genes."
"Right." Penelope downed the dregs of her martini, then gestured to the waiter for another one. She watched Lucifer go. "But I've got to say, the man's got a fantastic ass."
"Mom."
Penelope laughed at her daughter's obvious outrage. "What? A girl can look, honey. But anyone who's truly paying attention can see his heart belongs to you, and you only."
Chloe sighed, but appreciated the observation. Leave it to her mother to completely change the subject of the conversation. Lunch with her was many things, but it was never boring.
"Speaking of, have you two had sex yet?"
"Lower your voice," Chloe hissed, her cheeks burning. The elderly couple behind was pretending not to eavesdrop on their conversation. "We're in public."
"I'm going to take that as a no."
"That's not – it – it's complicated, alright?"
Rory whined at her sudden change in tone, her glow disappearing. Chloe shushed the girl, gently rocking her side to side in her arms. Why did her mother always manage to find the sore spot?
"We've…helped each other," Chloe admitted quietly after a while. "But I had to recover from the birth much longer than I expected. So, no, we haven't done it in the traditional sense of the word."
Saying it out loud made a weight drop off her chest. God, how long had she been holding this all inside?
Penelope's gaze softened witch concern. "Are still hurting, honey? If the bleeding hasn't stopped by now, you should see your gynecologist again."
"No, I'm fine. I'm not bleeding anymore, and I've recovered plenty by now. I just – I just feel –"
"I've got it!"
Lucifer appeared next to her, triumphantly holding out the baby blanket. He looked at Rory. "Oh. Looks like it isn't necessary anymore. The glowstick has stopped doing her thing."
"The glowstick?" Penelope chuckled, her demeanor shifting from concerned to amused. "Is that what you call your beautiful baby girl?"
Lucifer sat down next to her, pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek. Despite her internal struggles, Chloe couldn't help but smile at the gesture of affection. "I believe it's a fitting nickname. Besides the Antichrist, of course."
Her mother hummed absently and accepted the new martini from the waiter. She looked at them over the rim of the glass.
"You know, my dear, I could watch Rory for you tonight, if you want. Trixie's at her slumber party, anyway. Perhaps it would be nice to have some time for yourselves?"
Really subtle, mom. Really subtle.
The offer caught Lucifer off-guard, and he glanced to her for guidance. "I – well that's certainly, gracious of you, Penelope. But isn't she a little too young to be away from us for the night?"
"Yeah," Chloe nodded, looking at the little girl in her arms. "She's still so little, mom. I don't think that's a good idea."
"Nonsense, sweetie. Remember when I took care of Trixie when she was just a month old when you and Daniel both had the flu? Darling Aurora is even older right now, and I'm all set up at home to take care of her."
Lucifer opened his mouth to say something, but Penelope cut him off with a wave of her well-manicured hand. "When was the last time you had some quality time to yourselves? Some real quality time, not just watching television together at eight P.M. Like a date."
"Well…"
Chloe's mind went blank. They'd had so many wonderful moments together already. The baby shower, seeing Trixie and Rory together, just being a family in general.
And she and Lucifer were doing great.
She doesn't think she's ever kissed or cuddled or embraced him as much as she did the last couple of months – because seeing him with their baby daughter sent all manners of hormones racing through her. They were still very much in love, if not even more so.
But a date?
She couldn't remember the last time they'd gone out together that wasn't a doctor's appointment or an emergency trip to Linda's.
"I'm going to take your silence as the answer, my dears. Tell you what, how about I pick Aurora up around six? That way you have enough time to get ready and go out for dinner."
It was less of a question and more of a statement. Despite her often frivolous appearance, Penelope Decker always got what she wanted – one way or the other.
Lucifer glanced at her, and Chloe shrugged. To be honest, a date sounded really nice. No kids, jus the two of them.
"Is it a date?" Lucifer asked, his mouth curling into a smile. Hope sparked in his eyes.
Chloe returned his smile. "It's a date."
In the end, they were both too tired to go out for dinner.
The sleepless nights had caught up with them, and getting back to work had proven more difficult to Chloe than she'd imagined. With both Rory and Trixie gone, it seemed like the last of their energy had left them.
So instead, they'd ordered hamburgers from her favorite place and were going to dine at the penthouse.
Chloe was in the larger-than-life bathroom, putting the finishing touches on her make-up while Lucifer was setting the table. It was nice to, well, look nice again. Dressed in something other than work clothes or sweatpants or a t-shirt stained with milk or baby vomit.
She still had a large batch of clothing at the penthouse from when they'd spent the summer together, and she'd initially wanted to wear the dress she'd worn to their double date with God.
But even though it still fit, it felt weird. Like her body had shaped itself differently after Rory had been born – feeling almost alien to her.
Which was normal, of course. But it didn't exactly help her self-image at this point.
Relax, Decker. Your body will go back to normal in time.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she pinched and plucked at the stretchy fabric. Nope. This wasn't going to be it tonight.
"Screw it," Chloe muttered, and pulled the dress over her head, careful not to mess up her make-up. She tossed the garment in the laundry hamper and took another dress from a hook beside the shower.
This one was looser, hanging around her body without pinching anywhere. Chloe let out a sigh as the elegant flower-patterned fabric settled over her.
Much better.
With a last hesitant look at herself in the mirror, Chloe shut the bathroom door behind her and walked to the living area. The tiles were cool beneath her feet, a welcome reprieve from the day's lingering warmth.
She stopped dead in her tracks.
Candles of every size and shape covered all possible surfaces. They were dotted over the bar, the coffee table, the shelves. Some even in glass holders on top of the piano.
The entire space bathed in a soft, warm light, gilding everything in a golden glow. It reminded her a little of Rory's happy time, when the girl had the same aura around her.
"Chloe."
Lucifer was dressed in a sharp tuxedo, the crisp lines of the suit complimenting his figure. He'd put less product in his hair than usual – knowing that she liked it that way. A red rose was pinned to the lapel of his jacket.
He had been pouring some alcohol-free beverage into a flute for her when she'd walked out. But he was so completely enraptured in her that the glass overflowed without his notice.
"You – you look stunning."
The utter sincerity in his voice made something catch in her throat. Even though they'd been nearly together for a year now, Chloe couldn't help the blush that colored her cheeks.
"Thanks. You look really nice, too." With a smile, she gestured towards the glass. "You might want to get that."
"What? Oh, blast. It's staining the tablecloth."
Lucifer plunked the bottle on the table and grabbed a folded napkin. First, he swiped the sides and the bottom of the glass clean before furiously rubbing the stain on the cloth.
"Bloody Hell, it's brand-new –"
Chloe chuckled to herself and walked over to the table. God, if he hadn't stolen her heart already, he definitely would have now.
The Devil and his date preparations, she thought fondly. Leave it to Lucifer to plan every detail, then change the plan completely.
"Honey, it's okay. We'll just get another out of the cupboard. You have plenty."
He ignored her, continuing to scrub on the stain. "I want this night to be perfect."
"It is," Chloe said, cupping his face to get his attention. "It is because you're here. Whether we have a stained tablecloth or no tablecloth or we're eating off the floor. None of that matters as long as you're with me."
Lucifer stilled, the beginnings of a smile gracing his features. His eyes sparkled. "You would eat off the floor with me?"
"Yes," she nodded, unable to suppress a laugh. "I would."
"Even if it's spaghetti?"
"Even if it's spaghetti."
"You magnificent creature," he mused, covering one of her hands with his own. The stained tablecloth was long forgotten by now. "How did I ever get so lucky?"
"By asking me to shoot you in the leg."
"Touché." Lucifer's gaze flickered to her lips and back up. He leaned in over the table, closing the remaining inches between them.
Chloe smiled into the kiss, using her the hands she had on his cheek to change the angle. He swept his tongue over her bottom lip, teasing and exploring. A soft moan escaped her when his tongue slipped past her lips.
A familiar heat started to pulse in her lower abdomen, and she had to get closer now.
Chloe attempted to edge her way around the table without breaking the kiss, which was harder than she thought. She bumped into a chair, twice, and a lost one of her flats along the way.
But it was worth it.
Lucifer swept her up into his arms once she was in reach, deepening the kiss with an intensity that made her head spin. In a second, he'd put her on top of the Steinway, careful not to topple any candles.
Fire licked up her spine, and Chloe twined her arms behind Lucifer's head, wanting him closer.
Needing him closer.
Lucifer obliged eagerly, moving into the space between her legs. He used one of his hands to tilt her head into another spine-tingling kiss. A groan slipped from him when she nipped at his lip.
How she'd missed the past few months. Missed him, in the physical sense of the word.
Sliding a hand along the smooth skin of her leg, Lucifer slowly hitched her dress up. And Chloe froze against him.
Shit shit shit. Not this again.
Lucifer broke the kiss, meeting her gaze. A mix of confusion and worry swirled in his dark eyes. "Is everything alright, my love? Did I do something wrong?"
"No." Chloe shook her head. Embarrassment flooded through her, making her ears burn. "I want this. I want you. Like really, really badly."
How should she explain this? Listen to her mother's advice?
"Is this about what happened this morning?" There was no accusation in his tone, only concern. He smoothed a comforting hand down her back. "You can tell me, if you want. I won't judge."
Chloe slumped against him, burying her face in the fabric of his suit to avoid facing him. "It's stupid."
"It's not stupid, Chloe. Not when it comes to your well-being."
She lifted her head just enough to peer up at him. "Promise?"
"I promise," Lucifer replied softly, leaning back so he could meet her eye. He used the hand he had on her thigh to take her hand. "I'm still a shrink, remember? Even though I don't have the degree yet."
She took a moment to gather her thoughts, trying to think of the best way to start this conversation.
"Okay, uh, remember that I threw out a bunch of clothes last week?"
Lucifer nodded. "Yes, you said that you didn't like them anymore."
"Well, that wasn't like, the whole truth. I mean, a little bit, I guess? Um, yeah –"
Lucifer was listening to her ramble with all the patience in the world. All signs of earlier desire had evaporated the moment she showed a hint of distress. Ever the gentleman.
"They didn't fit anymore," Chloe blurted out in a moment of courage. "Some still did, but most of them didn't. They felt weird on my body, and I just – I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to."
Lucifer's gaze softened. He stroked a hand down her arm. "Chloe –"
"And I know that's it's normal to gain weight during pregnancy. And that it can take a while to lose it afterwards, especially if you had to recover for a while. But I – I –"
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she sniffled. "I just – I just want you to think I'm beautiful."
"Oh, Chloe," Lucifer murmured, taking her into his arms. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head before resting his cheek on top of it. "My sweet, brilliant, darling Detective. Why would you think something like that?"
"I don't know," she admitted quietly, wrapping her arms around him to steady her. Now that she'd started to talk, the words seemed to rush out of her. "I just have stretch marks everywhere – more than I did with Trix – and I want them to go away. I want my old body back."
Lucifer let her cry into his shoulder, murmuring sweet nothings against her and holding her while she broke down. He gently stroked her hair while her tears formed a wet patch on his jacket.
"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked after a while.
"Yeah." Chloe sat up, and wiped her eyes dry with the sleeve of her dress. This was not how she'd expected this dinner to go.
"Do you have any idea how ridiculously attracted I've been to you these past months?"
"…No," she said slowly, unsure where this was going. "Maybe it was the sleep deprivation?"
Lucifer shook his head and chuckled. He tucked a wayward strand behind her ear. "Did you know that you being a mother was one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you?"
"I…didn't. You didn't even like Trix at first."
"That's certainly true. The urchin started to grow on me after a while, though." He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. "When I saw how patient you were with her, how kind and caring, I was stunned. I'd never thought that was something parents did. That that was how you raised a child, not like…me."
"And when you went after Malcolm to save her – without a single though about your own safety – you won my everlasting admiration. It was the stepping stone to falling in love with you."
Chloe was too stunned to speak. He'd never told her about this before. How long had he had feelings for her before he'd realized it?
"But seeing you with Rory made my heart burst," he continued. "Both big and little Rory. Every time I see you holding her or nursing her, I love you a little more. Even though I don't know how that's possible."
"And these?" Lucifer took her hand in his, sliding her dress up her thighs to reveal a myriad of stretchmarks. "This is proof of how much you love her. Both your daughters. How much you've sacrificed for them. You literally created them."
The awe in his voice made something catch in her chest. She still didn't like the way she looked, but Lucifer's view on those marks was… nice, to say the least.
It made them sound like an accomplishment rather than something embarrassing.
He slid his hand across her stomach, mentally tracing the lines and scars there. "I don't mind that you gained a couple of pounds. I really don't care, and you barely even notice. You're still incredibly hot."
Then he gave her a soft smile. "But I care that you care, Chloe. I love you, and I think you're beautiful regardless of how you look. You're more than your exterior. What I want is for you to feel comfortable in your own skin again. No matter what anyone else might think."
"I'm here for the long run," Lucifer continued, his face framed by the soft candlelight. He took her by the shoulders. "I'm here for the rest of your life. Your body will change along the way, and I want you to know that it's okay. It's natural, and it does not diminish your beauty, Chloe. In my opinion, it only heightens it. Don't let this wretched society make you think otherwise."
The words sank in slowly, like honey dripping off a spoon. But when they did, they exploded into her mind.
Lucifer is still attracted to me.
He's going to be attracted to me even as I age.
And the thought that made her throat close up with the press of unshed tears.
Lucifer loves me no matter how I look. And that won't change.
A sob escaped her, and Chloe launched herself forward into his arm. She embraced him tightly, nearly falling off the piano while doing so.
Lucifer wrapped his arms around her. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No." Chloe pulled back and faced him, smiling through her tears. "You said the right thing. Trust me."
Lucifer's entire face lit up, a smile worthy of the Lightbringer. He tenderly wiped her tears away. "I'm you partner, Chloe. Nothing will ever change that, and nothing will ever make me stop loving you."
"And nothing will ever make me stop loving you. Even if your hair turns gray."
"Lucky me." Lucifer extended his towards hair, bowing at the waist. "Well, my lady, I believe we had dinner waiting for us?"
"Wasn't there something… else we were doing?"
Excitement sparked in his eyes. "Oh. Are you sure?"
"Dinner can wait," Chloe said, an identical grin spreading over her face. "We still have a childfree evening. Best to make the most of it, right?"
Lucifer pressed a lingering kiss to the back of her hand, love and desire mingling in his gaze. "By all means, Lieutenant, lead the way."
So Chloe did.
