'Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Warning: None for this chapter.

Chapter 20 – Plans Abandoned

"Just write down how you feel, Padfoot. A few notes to gather your thoughts," Remus said as Sirius thumped his head against the Common Room coffee table in sheer frustration. When there was no response, the werewolf slid a clean piece of parchment under the other boy's head. Still nothing. "Look, Sirius; I'll let you use one of my ink pens." Sirius lifted his head to see the aforementioned writing instrument being waggled in front of him. He reached for it and sat up, resting his back against the sofa on which his friend was perched.

"Remus, I don't know about this – really. It's like preparing to give a speech," he sighed, tapping the plastic tube against the parchment until Remus reached over and stilled his hand.

"You're not giving a speech, but you said – and I agree – that this is too important for you to simply talk off the top of your head. You need to prepare. You've been having a difficult time doing that, so I think this will at least help you get focused on the main points," Remus' voice was patient – remarkably so since the two friends had been hard at it for almost an hour with very little to show for their efforts.

Sirius removed the bright blue cap with his teeth and held it there as he put the tip of the pen to the parchment. Remus looked hopefully over the dark-haired wizard's shoulder, waiting for the words to begin to flow. There. Finally. He was writing … no, he was doodling. Remus sighed, then rose and dropped onto the floor opposite the now scribbling boy. "Here, give me that," he said, holding out his hand. Sirius reluctantly replaced the cap and slid both the pen and the parchment to Remus.

Remus grimaced and wiped the cap and pen against his robes to dry them then placed the pen against the parchment and looked over at Sirius. "Talk; anything that comes into your head about this whole mess and what you'd like to say to Kate. I'll write it down. We'll edit it later and then you can have it to look over sort out in your mind, yes?"

Sirius nodded, relieved. "Thanks, Moony. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm normally a pretty good planner; I can plan pranks, right? Why can't I do this?"

"Why can't you do what?" James sat on the floor next to Sirius and Peter threw himself on the sofa. "What did we miss?"

"Moony here is helping me organize my thoughts so I can say everything I need to when I talk with Kate," Sirius said.

Remus looked up. "The new plan," he said.

James nodded. "How's it going?"

"Think of all the time you spent trying to figure out the perfect line to use on Lily," Sirius replied dryly.

James sighed. "That well, eh?"

"Maybe you're trying too hard," Peter chimed in and Remus looked at him thoughtfully.

"What do you mean, Wormtail?" the werewolf asked.

Peter shrugged and looked at Sirius. "From what I can remember, talking to Kate has never been your problem; listening to her was. When you first started getting to know her, you spent a lot of time apologizing for your reaction to what you thought she was saying when if you'd just paid attention the first time, you'd have been alright. I'm just saying…"

"Peter, you're brilliant, mate!" James exclaimed, reaching behind Sirius and slapping the boy on the back. Peter beamed in response.

Remus smiled sheepishly. "You really are right, you know." He looked at Sirius. "I got so caught up in your need for a plan, I never stopped to think that maybe – just maybe – that was the problem. Perhaps "the plan" is as simple as coming up with a way to get Kate alone and just … talking to her; like always."

Sirius nodded. "And based on what we just saw at dinner, that might be easier said – or planned – than actually done."

"Speaking of things seen at dinner, guess what Snivellus was up to after you two bolted?" James looked at Remus and Sirius.

"Snogging Lucius Malfoy?" Sirius sneered.

"Close, but no sugar quill," James replied. "He appeared to be chatting up your intended, Mr. Black."

Sirius' eyes widened. "Really? Wonder what that's all about. Did she look like she was under the Imperius spell? Because that would explain everything!"

James and Peter laughed, but Remus shook his head. "Padfoot," he admonished. "You really should …"

Sirius was spared Remus' advice when the latter's attention was diverted by the sound of the portrait hole opening and the subsequent arrival of Dorcas, Alice, Lily and Kate.

"Ladies," James called, standing and waving them over. "Come and join us."

Alice shook her head and smiled. "Just picking up my books to head to the library, I'm afraid. Some of us have to study!"

"Bluestocking," James teased and with a laugh, Alice waved at them and headed up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. "How about the rest of you, then?"

Lily looked at Dorcas and they both shrugged and walked in the direction of the group of wizards. Kate hesitated for only a moment then turned toward the staircase. Remus muttered something to Dorcas who nodded and patted his arm with a smile.

"Kate, wait up a moment, would you?" the werewolf called and hurried to where she was standing, one foot on the steps.

"Care to join me for a walk?" Remus asked, leaning down to catch her eye. "I think we have some catching up to do after the holiday, yes?"

Kate returned his gaze steadily. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that 'catching up'."

"Why don't you grab your warm cloak and I'll wait for you here. We can go up to the Astronomy Tower for a little while; we won't have so far to go to get warm if we need to," he replied.

Kate sighed. There was no way she was going to get out of this. "I'll be right down."

True to her word, Kate grabbed her cloak, warm gloves and some earmuffs Lily had given her for Christmas and returned to the Common Room within minutes of her departure. As she descended the final few steps, Kate's eyes swept the room and she saw that Sirius had disappeared.

"He went up to the dorm," Remus said quietly as he extended his arm to her.

Kate took his arm, ignoring the comment. "Shall we? I don't want to be gone too long; we have double Potions with Slytherin first thing tomorrow and I want to speak with Professor Slughorn before class, so I'll need to get there even earlier."

Remus nodded. "Let's go, then."

After walking along the winding corridors, exchanging small details of their time at home, the pair soon found themselves standing at the door leading to the Astronomy Tower. Moving past Remus as he held the door open for her, Kate walked over to the stone wall that bordered the tower and looked out over the grounds. From the corner of her eye, she saw Remus step up beside her and assume a stance that mirrored her own. The evening was clear and the light provided by the crescent-shaped moon painted the landscape in light and shadow. From the direction of the Dark Forest came the sound of something rustling followed by a mournful cry. Thestrals, perhaps, Kate thought, remembering that Remus had told her of the spectral, winged horses that pulled the carriages of students from the train station to the castle. She wondered vaguely if they could be heard by those who had not seen death first-hand, even if they could not be seen. Kate allowed her mind to wander as she waited for Remus to break the silence. It's down to you, my friend; you're the one who asked to talk. Kate brushed the snow from the top of the wall and folded her hands in the cleared space, determined to wait him out. Eventually, he began.

"The sky's clear tonight," Remus commented quietly.

"I hardly think you asked me to come up here to star-gaze, Remus," Kate responded, wryly.

"You're right; I didn't." Remus turned to face her. "I wanted to ask you why you didn't come and sit with us at dinner tonight."

"I didn't ask Dorcas to stay with me, Remus. I told her that I wanted to sit with Alice and she just sat down."

Remus shook his head. "This doesn't have anything to do with Dorcas, Kate. She and I aren't joined at the hip; I'm not asking because I think you prevented her from eating dinner with me, alright? You, however, made it a very obvious choice to avoid us."

When Kate didn't answer him, Remus tried again. "You missed a rather entertaining exchange between Lily and Delilah Hornsby. You remember Delilah, don't you? She was the witch Sirius was flirting with …"

"…in Hogsmeade our first weekend," Kate finished. "Yes, I remember her. I didn't realize Lily knew her."

"She doesn't, the way you mean; only by reputation."

"Then I can't imagine why Lily would bother with her."

"She seems to think that Delilah has upset you in some way – directly or indirectly – and that Sirius might also have something to do with it, as well. At least, that was the impression I got from the confrontation," Remus managed to seem casual as he spoke.

Kate finally turned to face him. "Remus, you're my friend and I care about you – very much. Our friendship is very important to me; I don't want to lose it."

Remus' brow furrowed. "Why would you think you'd lose me as your friend? I can honestly tell you that it's not possible. It – and you – are far too important to me for that to happen. Do you believe me?"

Kate nodded, swallowing thickly at the sincerity in the young wizard's face.

Remus covered her gloved hand with his. "Can't you tell me what's going on? You can trust me, you know. I'm not the type to share anyone's secrets." He smiled tightly.

Kate shook her head, "I never thought that you were, Remus. I do trust you – implicitly, but I am also conscious of the position I would be putting you in if told you what's happened. It wouldn't be fair to you."

Remus squeezed her hand. "You're very kind, but I think I might actually be strong enough to withstand the pressure. I'm much more concerned with you at the moment. I would truly like to help you, if I could. I don't really think you've confided very much in Lily, given her comments over dinner. As I said earlier, she's reasonably certain it has to do with Sirius, but she obviously hasn't a great many details to back up her theory. She's an uncommonly kind and loyal friend, Kate; she marches right into battle on behalf of those she loves. Perhaps that's why you've chosen as you have. As important as those warriors are to us, sometimes we also need people who will listen to us and help us riddle out how we, ourselves can best take action. I won't pressure you, Kate, but please know that there's no expiration date on the offer, yes?"

As she considered her answer, Kate looked up at the night sky, easily finding Orion, his large Hunter and the Dog Star that twinkled so brightly at its head. She recalled the Astronomy class that now seemed so long ago. How foolish she had been to think that Sirius had wanted anything more from her that night than he'd wanted – and apparently had –with Delilah Hornsby. Kate shook her head as she felt her cheeks flush.

"Kate?" Remus called her name softly, squeezing her hand gently to get her attention.

"Sorry," Kate turned back to face Remus and he caught his breath at the chill that had settled in her eyes. "Remus, I've been foolish – very foolish, indeed. I was taken in by someone; I allowed them to convince me that they were not what their reputation painted them to be. I've been proven wrong. I won't allow it to happen again."

Remus exhaled slowly. He had surmised that Sirius was the reason Kate avoided them all at dinner and he knew that his best friend was the "someone" of whom Kate had just spoken. What he found disturbing in the extreme was the cold finality in her voice and her normally warm brown eyes.

"I think we both know you're speaking of Sirius," he managed, watching her face closely. Her expression did not change, but she nodded once.

"Things are not always what they appear to be, you know," Remus began. "Sirius' reputation is no different today than it was when we first arrived at school in September. You discounted it then as idle gossip; what has happened for you to believe it so strongly now?"

"You're right; things are not always as they seem. In this case, naïveté led me to dismiss truth as idle gossip. Sirius' reputation is well deserved, Remus – as I have learned," Kate told him, her voice bitter.

"Learned from whom?" Remus was determined to find out if Kate was operating from fact – or the emotional whiplash of Sirius' behavior toward her since the new term began.

"Let's just say that I was in the wrong place at the right time, shall we? In addition to what I overheard, I've certainly gotten the idea straight from Sirius, himself. He's treated me like the ugly stepchild since we returned from holiday. It's as if we never had anything more than a passing acquaintance. Then, as if that didn't convince me, today, Sirius told me that he'd spent time over the holiday with that witch who transferred here from Beauxbatons, adding that she was so beautiful she could turn a wizard's head without saying a word." The rapid tumble of words ceased as Kate paused and looked away for a few moments. When she resumed speaking, her cold demeanor had begun to give way to her sadness. "He had arranged with Peter to tell him when she was alone so he could go off to meet her. Peter came charging in while I was there and told him where she was. It didn't take long for Sirius to leave."

"Well, he told James and me that this girl was the daughter of old friends of his parents'. Perhaps he was asked to help her settle in here…" Remus trailed off as Kate's eyes flashed dangerously, all sadness gone.

"I'd almost be willing to believe that, Remus, if it wasn't for the fact that instead of – or perhaps in addition to – meeting with Ofelia Bullstrode, Sirius decided to revisit past conquests and spend time with his Hogsmeade dalliance…Delilah Hornsby. Clearly, I meant nothing to him, mean nothing to him."

"You couldn't be more wrong, Kate," Remus responded quietly. "Sirius cares a great deal about you; more than you know."

Kate shook her head. "If he does, Remus, it's only in the way he's 'cared' about all the other witches he's chased, caught and probably slept with. I was stupid enough to believe that he meant all the lovely things he said to me, when all the while, I was just one of many other girls listening to his lines. I'm finished with that, now."

Remus sighed. He thought of Sirius and how anxious he was about finding time to speak with Kate – to tell her the truth about his behavior. His task would obviously be more difficult than even he'd imagined.

Remus gently squeezed her hand again. "Kate, if I may, I'd like to ask something of you – as a friend."

"Of course, Remus."

"If an opportunity arises for you to hear the other side of the story – from its source – will you listen?"

"Remus, please; I can't bring myself to look at Sirius, let alone listen to anything he has to say. Please don't ask it of me," Kate implored him.

"But I am asking. I care for you both and it seems only fair that Sirius have a chance to tell his side. You're a fair-minded person, Kate, and you don't usually make decisions without knowing all sides of the matter. I suspect the source of your information does not have all the facts," Remus was insistent. "You think Sirius deceived you by treating you one way before Christmas and in a completely different manner since we've returned, am I right?"

"I've already told you that."

"But you've not asked him about his change in behavior, then? This morning, for example, when you learned about the time he spent with the Bullstrode witch, you didn't ask him if she was the reason he'd changed his behavior towards you, right? Why your relationship appeared to have changed so dramatically?" Remus watched Kate's face pale as he spoke, and he hated the fact that his words – and the manner in which they were delivered – were responsible.

"No," she whispered. "I haven't asked him."

"Don't you think you should ask, Kate? Or at least listen to him if he comes to you …"

Kate shook her head and began to back away. "How can you be so cruel to me? Do you think I want to hear how little I mean to him? Do you think I want to hear him tell me that he'd rather be with witches like Delilah because they'll … they'll, and that because I said early on that I wasn't like that, I'm not good enough?" She had reached the door now and blindly tried to find the handle through her tears. "Isn't it bad enough that I know it's true? Isn't it enough that I heard her telling them that he was finished with me, that I was a fling?"

Remus realized that he had grossly overstepped himself and tried desperately to remedy the situation. He reached around Kate and grasped the handle, but Kate's hand reached it at the same time. "Let me go," she cried. "I thought you were my friend…" Kate tried to pry his fingers from the handle, but Remus kept his hand where it was, placing the other on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her.

"Kate, please, I'll open the door in a moment. You need to calm yourself – please. You'll make yourself ill if you don't; you could easily fall down those steps and injure yourself," he spoke softly, but urgently, not removing his hand from her shoulder.

Gradually, Kate seemed to calm a bit, taking deep breaths and focusing her attention on a large knot in the tower door. Soon, she wiped at her eyes and cheeks with the hand that was not resting on top of Remus', which was still grasping the door handle.

"Better?" his hoarse voice was very soft now, almost as if he was afraid that saying anything at all would cause Kate to become upset again. When she didn't respond, Remus sighed. "I'm so very sorry, Kate. I am your friend and I didn't mean to upset you, truly I didn't."

"Would you please let go the handle?" Kate removed her hand where it covered his. Remus pulled the door open and waited for her to pass through it. As she did so, Kate finally looked at him, her face reflecting her sadness. "Good night, Remus."

"Kate, I'm so …" Remus began to apologize to her again, but the young witch had already turned and begun to walk quickly down the stairs.

XXXXXXXX

When Remus finally arrived back in Gryffindor Tower, only James was left in the Common Room. He looked up as he heard the portrait door close, his grim expression confirming Remus' suspicion that Kate's emotions had been noticed upon her return.

He dropped onto an armchair next to the sofa where James was sitting.

"I'm guessing Kate got back to the Tower safely," Remus opened.

James snorted quietly. "Looked like someone had hexed her Kneazle, but I suspect you know something about that."

Remus nodded miserably. "I tried to convince her to listen to Sirius if the opportunity arose and he tried to talk with her. I asked her if she'd asked him directly about his change in behavior toward her. I'm afraid I was a bit …" he trailed off, remembering his behavior and loathe to properly define it. James had no such problem.

"Aggressive? Insistent?"

"'Passionate' would have been my ultimate choice of adjective, Prongs," Remus muttered. "I was only trying to help them both by attempting to gain her agreement that Sirius could at least try to explain things to her."

"Yeah, well, I think you were rather spectacularly unsuccessful there, mate," James said quietly. "Your heart was in the right place, though. That's some comfort anyhow."

Remus huffed quietly. "Cold comfort. I think that in trying to help one friend, I may very easily have lost another."

James shook his head. "What is it about him, Moony? I mean, Padfoot finds himself in a spot and dreams up these wild schemes to make everything right. Only, he can't see that his plan is rubbish – we have to point it out to him. Sometimes, we get to him before he completely bollixes it up; other times, like now, he gets a leg up on being stupid before we can stop him. All he had to do was go to her, Moony; all he had to do was talk to Kate, explain what was happening. It would have been fine."

Remus nodded. "It's fear."

James looked at the werewolf sharply. "Padfoot's not a coward, Remus; he's stood up to more than most wizards his age have had to."

Remus sighed and looked at his friend. "I never said he wasn't brave, James. Sirius is one of the bravest people I know. I think he could slay dragons if he put his mind to it. What he fears is losing the people who matter to him. You know that. You also know a great deal more of what goes on in the Black home than the rest of us. Even I know there aren't a lot of people there who matter to him; sadder still is that he doesn't really matter to them, I don't believe. Perhaps it really isn't so much 'fear' as survival." Remus smiled thinly. "I know a bit about 'fear' and 'survival', after all, although I'm only an expert in my own, particular situation."

James leaned over and clasped the werewolf's shoulder. "You're expert enough to recognize it in Padfoot, I think. And you're friend enough to get him to give up the wrong plan for the right one."

Remus shook his head. "That remains to be seen, Prongs. I've talked him into abandoning his deception of Kate and opting to approach her directly, instead. Regrettably, that may not happen after what I heard from her tonight; I don't believe Kate has any intention of getting close enough to him so he can try to talk to her."

"I hope you're wrong, Remus. I haven't seen Sirius get like this over any other bird. I'm not really sure what it will do to him if she doesn't."

The two wizards fell to their own thoughts and, for a time, the only sound in the room was the crackle of the fire.

XXXXXXXX

The following morning, the reason for Kate's early meeting with Slughorn became apparent when Slytherin and Gryffindor 5th years gathered for double Potions. Sirius walked to his usual table and dropped into the seat that had been his during first term. Kate had shared the table as Sirius' partner and it was plain that the reason for the slight up-tick in Sirius' mood was that he expected that partnership to continue in the new term. He was to be disappointed. As he was digging through his bag for parchment, quill and ink, Sirius heard the thud of a book bag on the table and looked over to see Frank Longbottom sliding into the other chair. A quick sweep of the classroom confirmed that Kate was now partnered with Peter Pettigrew.

"Looks like you're right, mate," James mouthed to Remus, inclining his head toward where Peter was now seated, face flushed and casting sidelong glances at his new partner.

Remus followed his gaze and shook his head. And I would have been a good deal happier if I'd been wrong, he thought. His gaze moved to where Sirius was sitting with his new partner. Remus observed the slump of the boy's shoulders as he tried to focus on the lesson and not on the occupants of the table two rows ahead. A good deal happier, indeed.

XXXXXXXX

The week progressed without much variation in the new routine: for those classes Kate shared with the Marauders, she managed to slip into her seat just as the professors were calling the class to order. When classes ended, she either moved quickly ahead of the masses to reach the door first or engaged someone in conversation until the Marauders had left the room. Meals were relatively easy as Kate simply arrived after she knew the Marauders had seated themselves and found her own place as far away from them as she could. Evenings found her studying at her desk in the dorm room or in the library – when she was certain her friends were otherwise occupied. It was here the Remus found her on Friday evening, alone, with a stack of Potions reference books spread out before her.

"Hello, Kate," he spoke quietly, but she started slightly all the same.

"Hi, Remus."

"I wondered if I might speak with you for just a moment," Remus continued. At her nod, he sat in the chair across from her.

"I haven't had an opportunity to apologize for the things I said to you on the Astronomy Tower. I didn't mean to hurt you and I certainly never intended to lose your friendship, Kate," Remus said. I miss you and I'm very, very sorry, indeed that your absence was due to my own insensitivity. I hope that one day you can forgive me." He made to rise, but Kate leaned over and put her hand on his arm.

"Wait," she whispered. "I miss you, too. Please stay."

Remus shook his head and gestured over his shoulder. "Madam Pince will not be amused if we disturb the other students," he smiled.

Kate looked around. "I was finished studying anyway. Shall we find someplace to talk?"

Remus nodded. "I'd like that very much."

Remus helped Kate gather her things and walked beside her through the doors to the library – both unaware of the black eyes following them from several tables away.