Hey, guys! Welcome to the next chapter of 'South Park: The Journey of Jessie Gladstone in The Stick of Truth!'. I hope that you guys will enjoy the chapter...anyway, I don't own anything except for my OCs.
NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY!
"ALL SOLDIERS REPORTING FOR DUTY, GRAND WIZARD!" Butters screamed as we see the Gang standing near Cartman's Private Tent with Butters, Jessie, Tweek, and Tolkien standing on the left side of the entrance as Princess Kenny, Prince Karen, and Scott standing on the right side of the entrance as the Grand Wizard himself walked out of his tent.
"Nice work, Douchebag-,"
"My name is not Douchebag."
"Whatever. Now, all my men are here and ready to fight for the-Wait a minute, where is Feldspar? Where's my Level Twelve Thief?" A glaring Cartman asked, after noticing that Craig was nowhere in sight, as a bewildered Prince Karen looked around.
"Yeah, where is Craig?" Karen asked while speaking in her manly tone.
"He's in Detention." Tolkien stated deadpannedly as an incredulous Eric turned to him.
"What?!" Cartman asked in shock as Tweek stepped forward while wearing no shirt as he wore a brown belt with black pants and had black triangles drawn on his face, arm, and chest.
"He flipped off the Principal, so he's in Detention again." Tweek says with a worried frown as a stunned Cartman looked away in thought.
"Oh my god...if they've locked away our thief in Detention, we have no hope of getting back at the Stick of Truth. We have to break him out."
"Agh! No way, man! Last time we broke Craig out of Detention, we ALL got in trouble!" An anxious Tweek screamed while pulling on his blonde hair as Eric turned to him.
"Getting into trouble is a risk that Douchebag is willing to take."
"What?!" A shocked and angry Jessie asked as Eric walked over to him.
"You have to break out our Thief, Douchebag."
"No way!"
"Huh?!" A surprised Eric exclaimed as Jessie glared at him stubbornly.
"Tell me, Craig goes to South Park Elementary School, right?"
"Yeah, and?"
"And my Parents are planning to have me enroll into that school tomorrow! How do you think the Principal and the Staff would react to seeing the person that help free one of the Students from Detention? They would ban me from going to school, and my Parents would ground me or worse, force us to move out again since this freaking city only has one fucking school." A glaring Jessie says while flailing his arms around in exasperation as Butters turned to him.
"Don't worry, Jessie, you can just disguise yourself again like what you did when we beat up Tolkien's Security Guard."
"Wait, what?" A bewildered Tolkien asked as Jessie flinched and flushed in embarrassment as he laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Uh, I don't know what he is talking about, Token. Butters talking crazy, but he does bring up a good point. Disguising myself sounds like a good idea, but if I'm going to break someone from out of Detention, I'm going to need some backup." Jessie says with Tolkien narrowing his eyes at him suspiciously as Prince Karen raised his hand.
"My Sister and I can come with you."
"Really?" A surprised Jessie asked as Princess Kenny nodded to what his little brother said and stepped forward.
"Mmm, mm mmmm mm mmmm, mm mm mmm mm mmmm mmmm mmmmmmmmmm (Yeah, you helped us earlier, so we kind of owe you anyway)," Princess Kenny says before walking over to whisper into Jessie's ear. "Mmmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm, mm mmm mm mmm mmmmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm (I offer my services to you, but please be gentle with me, it's my first time)," Princess Kenny says seductively with a hot blush as a weirded out and blushing Jessie stepped away from him.
"Alright, Douchebag, you have the equipment, you have the backup, but you are still unprepared for this dangerous mission. I am going to teach how to use Magic. Meet me at the Training Barracks. It's time for you to learn...the 'Dragonshout'," Cartman says while turning around to walk away as everyone dispersed and walked over to random places in the Kingdom of Kuppa Keep as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and proceeds to pull out his phone as the blue-haired boy was happy to see that he had leveled up to Level 3 and was quick to press onto the Abilities Tap as Jessie decide to level up his Roshambo Move to Level 2, which will now allow him to launch a follow-up kick that ignores all Armor and Shields on a perfect success.
"Okay, now that I'm Level 3, I can finally put on my new clothes." Jessie says with a smile while walking over to the Changing Tent as, after a few minutes of changing, he walked out and could be seen wearing his Friar Cap, Robes, and Gloves as Jessie reluctantly took off his silver helmet and blue cape but kept his 3D Glasses as he also dyed his clothes dark blue with red accents and, upon buying a Level 3 Action Hero Badge from Scott, Jessie placed the patch on his Friar Cap as Jessie can now gain 2 PP whenever he 'kills' an opponent.
"Looking good, Jessie." Butters complimented with Jessie smiling at him.
"Thanks, man. Also, could you do me a favor and hold this ham for me?" Jessie asked while handing Butters a large piece of ham.
"Uh, sure, what for?"
"I might need it in a future battle." Jessie says as Butters raised an eyebrow but nodded as the blue-haired boy then made his way over to Tolkien as Jessie waved at him. "Sup, Token, so I have to ask, why did you decided to join Kupa Keep?"
"Oh, at first, I didn't want to join the KKK at all, but the Grand Wizard made some really good points."
"...Why do I feel that the only reason why Cartman let Token play with us is just to make a racist joke?" Jessie thought to himself deadpannedly before nodding at Tolkien as he then went over to Tweek, who was busy punching a dummy that was strapped on the fence. "Hey, Tweek-,"
"Can't talk! Need to practice! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Tweek screamed panickedly while punching the dummy as Jessie raised a confused eyebrow but shrugged as he went over to Cartman in the Training Grounds.
"You fight well, Douchebag, but to truly succeed in combat, you must learn to harness the power...of your farts." Eric says with a serious tone as Jessie blinked a couple of times at him in disbelief/shock.
"I'm sorry, but fucking what?"
"Farting on an opponent at precisely at the right time is key to battle. I shall show you how its done, but first, you must take the Gentlemen Oath."
"...Fine, fuck it, what is it?" A blank-faced Jessie asked, not caring enough to argue with Eric on why his magic relates to releasing air from out of his ass, as the Grand Wizard slowly leans in to glare into his eyes.
"You must promise to NEVER, EVER fart on anyone's balls."
"...I'm sorry, but fucking what?" An amused Jessie asked with a chuckle as Eric gave him a no-nonsense look.
"I'm serious, Douchebag, farting on an opponent is necceary and okay, but farting on someone's balls is NOT cool. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. I wasn't even planning on farting on someone's balls anyway. That's too gross and weird." Jessie says as Cartman nodded in satisfaction.
"All right, then, let's begin your training. To conjure 'Dragonshout', you must clear your mind and take a deep breath through your butthole like so." Cartman says while scrunching his face a bit as there was an audible sucking noise and a disgusted Jessie was shocked to see that Eric literally took a deep breath with his anus. "Let it rumble inside of you...and..." Cartman trails off as he felt his stomach rumble loudly. "...Dragonshout!" Eric shouted while turning his ass towards one of the dummies as he lets out a loud fart bubble that flew over to impact against the dummy, and, much to Jessie's shock, the dummy actually moved a bit. "Okay, now you." Cartman says to Jessie, who felt a little awkward about the whole ordeal but was willing to at least try it out as he walked forward and his face scrunched up a bit as he takes a deep breath through his anus, and his stomach rumbled a bit as Jessie gritted his teeth.
"Dragonshout!" Jessie exclaimed while turning his ass towards the dummy as he lets out a loud fart bubble that flew over to impact against the dummy, and, much to his and Eric's shock, the dummy actually flew way farther than when Cartman used his Dragonshout against it as the dummy flew over to crashed down into the ground, several feet away.
"My God, that was...incredible. A Man could live a hundred years and never again witness a spell so...boisterous. Could it be that the prophecies are true? Could it be that the Dragonborn has come at last in our hour of need." An amazed Cartman says with a bewildered Jessie glancing down at his ass as he wondered if maybe what happened earlier was because of his Superpowered Genetics or if it was something else. "Now, let's us try your skill on a REAL opponent." Cartman says while snickering a bit, looking like he was about to call on one of his Friends to be Douchebag's sparring partner, but was stopped by Jessie as he walked up to him with a mischievous smirk on his face.
"Yeah, you're right. Sit still."
"Wait, what-,"
"Dragonshout!" Jessie exclaimed with his face scrunching up a bit as he takes a deep breath through his anus and his stomach rumbled a bit as Jessie gritted his teeth before whirling around to have his ass face Cartman as he lets out a loud fart bubble that flew over to impact against the Grand Wizard, causing him to gag in disgust as he flailed around.
"Ugh! God! Gross! Why, Douchebag?! Why!?"
"That was for your post on Facebook earlier about me getting Pepper Sprayed, you dick!" Jessie screamed with a glare as a green-faced Cartman walked away, and Butters went over to help heal him as he brings them over to Eric's Private Tent. "Hmph, serves him right." Jessie says with a huff as he then walked over to Scott's Stand and saw his selection of weapons as Jessie perked up at the sight of a Level 3 Noob Hammer that costs 6.00 dollars as well as a couple of patches that both cost 2.00 dollars as the first one was a Level 3 Patch named 'Lightning Sticker', which adds 10 Shock Damage on a Perfect Attack as the second patch was named, 'Lit Match', which adds 10 Fire Damage on a Perfect Attack as Jessie was quick to buy them all after handing Scott 10.00 Dollars.
"Hmmm..." Jessie hummed as he thought carefully about which weapon will get which patch before deciding to attack the Lightning Sticker on his Noob Hammer and the Lit Match for his bow and arrows. "Alright, I got everything I need, so let's bounce, guys." Jessie says to both Princess Kenny and Prince Karen, who were standing near Eric's Backyard Door, as the McCormick Siblings nodded before turning around to leave the Kingdom of Kupa Keep as Jessie followed after them while pulling out his phone to check if there was any Facebook Posts as he saw one of Butters saying, 'I'm supposed to donate most of my allowance since that's one of the rules of being a paladin. Anybody know who I'm supposed to give it to?' and Cartman commented, 'Your King demands his money, paladin. Give it to me after you finish healing me from Douchebag's nasty ass fart...fucking prick, the next time I see him, I'm kicking him in the nuts' and an annoyed Jessie replied 'Not if I do it first, Grand Asswipe' as his anger died down when he noticed that he got several likes.
"Ha, ha, serves him right." Jessie says with a laugh before noticing that Token posted something on Facebook, which read, 'Asses of Fire 2 is out, guys. They spent 250 Million on it, it's gonna be awesome', and a smiling Jessie replied, 'Ha, ha, yeah, I heard. Butters and I are planning to watch the movie this weekend. Anyone want to come with us?' as he got several replies from his Friends agreeing to come with them and Jessie puts away his phone as he, Princess Kenny, and Prince Karen made their way out of Eric's House as they then turned left and started heading towards the location of the school.
"So, uh, why did you decide to dress as a girl? I'm not judging. Just curious." Jessie says, deciding to strike up a conversation with Princess Kenny as she turned to him.
"Mmmm mm mmmm mm mmmm mmmm (Because it makes me feel pretty)," Princess Kenny explained as Prince Karen glanced up at Jessie curiously.
"Why is your hair blue? Did you dye it?" Prince Karen asked with a sweet tone, causing Jessie to flinch visibly and clench his fists. "Because I know a friend of mine that dyed her hair pink...although her Moms got angry at her for doing that, but I think your blue hair makes you look cute. It looks like Sully Sullivan is on your head." Prince Karen complimented with a giggle as Jessie sighs in relief, happy to see that he wasn't making fun of his name as he turned to him.
"Oh, I was born with my blue hair."
"Mmmm? Mmmm mmm mmmm mmm? (Really? How does that work?)," Princess Kenny asked curiously.
"Don't know, really." Jessie lied through his teeth as he looked away. "Something about genetics and whatnot."
"Mmm, mmm. Mmmmm, mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmmmm mmmmm. Mmm mmm mmmm (Well, okay. Anyway, I saw what you did with Cartman earlier. It was hilarious)," Princess Kenny says with a giggle as Jessie smiled and chuckled.
"Thanks. That bas...dweeb deserved it after what he posted about me and that dam...darn post." Jessie says while making sure to not curse in front of Prince Karen as Princess Kenny nodded.
"Mmm, mm mmm mmm. Mmm, mmm mmm mmmm mm mmm mmmmm mm mmmm? (Yeah, I get it. So, are you going to use Dragonshout in battle?),"
"Only if I have to. While I think farting is funny, I am a huge fan of Terrance and Phillip, after all, I don't want to be known as Fart Boy."
"Make sense. It hurts when you get stuck with a mean nickname." Prince Karen says with a pout, remembering about the Bullies in her school that constantly calls her 'Crybaby Karen' after she cried once during a School Assembly, although it was because her Mommy and Daddy fought this morning and dragged her into it as she was thankfully not hit due to her Brothers coming into her defense at the last minute.
"Yeah, it does." Jessie says with a knowing nod just as they walked out of the neighborhood as they appeared by the South Park Welcome Sign, and Jessie spotted Kelly still sitting at the bench as he went over to her. "Hey, do I have enough Friends now?" An irritated Jessie asked as Kelly glanced down at her phone and checked his Facebook Account as her indifferent look was replaced with a fake happy one as Kelly sends him a Friend Request.
"Hey, you're getting popular, New Kid. I need to get in on that."
"If she allows me to get inside of her, I would let her." Jessie whispered to Princess Kenny, who snickered as the blue-haired boy then pulled out his phone and accepted her friend request as the Trio continued walking and, soon enough, arrive at what seemed to be a navy blue house as Jessie shamelessly made his way over to open the door and walk in as the McCormick Siblings reluctantly followed after him.
"Uh, what are you doing, Jessie?" Prince Karen asked nervously as Jessie went over to look through the drawers.
"Oh, you know, looking for stuff. Don't worry about it." Jessie says while finding 25 Cents, a book, and some baseball cards in the first drawer as Princess Kenny frowned and turned to her brother.
"Mmmm? Mmm mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmm mmmm mmmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm (Karen? Why don't you go outside and play in the snow while Jessie and I finish business here?)," Princess Kenny suggested as Prince Karen beamed and nodded as he turned around to run out of the home. "Mmm...mmmmm mm mmmmmm, mmm? (So...you're a kleptomaniac, huh?),"
"Oh, hell yeah." Jessie says bluntly while making his way over to the other drawer as he pulled out 35 Cents. "But if you keep your mouth shut, I will give you all of the money that I find."
"Mmm (Deal)," Princess Kenny says while beaming as Jessie handed her the 60 Cents that he had found and the Duo then walked over to the Kitchen as they looted around and were able to find a Strength and Cure Potions as they pocked them and made their way back to the Living Room. "Mmm mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmm mm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mm mmmm (You continue stealing stuff while I go and check on Karen. I don't like leaving her alone for long periods of time),"
"Alright, man...or girl, I guess." Jessie says with a shrug as Princess Kenny nodded and turned around to leave the house while the blue-haired boy made his way up to the second floor of the house as he walked into one of the rooms and looked around as Jessie saw that he was in a room filled with all type of sci-fi crap like Star Wars and shit, but what really surprised him was that there was a boy his age sitting on a bed. The boy is a 10-year-old male with black eyes, straight black hair in the style of a bowl cut, wearing a fake pair of pointy ears, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved blue Star Trek Shirt with black pants, and black shoes. His name is Kevin Stoley.
"Oh, shit, uh, look, man, I know this looks suspicious as fuck, but-,"
"Greetings, Human. While I would prefer to explore strange worlds with you, it is illogical to abandon the bride until the Captain returns."
"...roll with it." Jessie mumbles to himself incredulously as he didn't know why this kid wasn't panicking when he basically broke into his house and stole his stuff, but hey, Jessie wasn't complaining about the lack of cops. "So, what's your name, Kid, and who's the Captain?" Jessie asked, playing along as Kevin jumps down from the bed to land beside him.
"My name is Kevin Stoley, and the Captain is my Mom. I can't go outside when she's not home, but the Federation has an urgent mission for you. A tricorder was left behind on the frozen planet of Hoth."
"A what and a what now?" A bewildered Jessie asked, not understanding his lingo since he had never seen Star Trek.
"Oh, basically, I accidentally left my Dad's Ipad 2 near the church. I think it fell out of my backpack or something. Anyway, I need you to beam down to Omicron Sector and locate that device before it falls into Klingdon's hands."
"Hmmm, sure, I can do that, but do you mind if I do my mission first? I was assigned by the Grand Wizard to break Craig, a Level 12 Thief, out of Detention."
"Oh, that's okay. Good luck." Kevin says while walking out of his room to use the bathroom as Jessie decided to take this opportunity to loot his room and was able to find some underpants, 2.00 Dollars, a (small) health potion, an old videogame console, a Klingon Beard, and 60 Cents.
"Alright, better get out of here before I get caught again." Jessie says to himself worriedly while walking out of the room as he made his way out of Kevin's House and locked the door behind him as he spotted the McCormick Siblings playing in the snow. "Hey, Guys, I'm done. Let's bail."
"Okay." Prince Karen says sweetly as she and her brother stopped playing.
"Mmm mm mm mm? (How did it go?)," Princess Kenny asked as Jessie shrugged.
"Pretty good." Jessie says while handing him the money that he had found as Princess Kenny pocketed them. "Except that I was caught by the kid who lives here, but thankfully, he didn't call the police and merely asked my help in finding something. Although we will help find his Dad's Ipad after we rescue Craig."
"Good call. Eric doesn't like to wait." Prince Karen says, knowing how ill-patient Eric was as he gets made whenever he and his older sister are late, even when Kenny tries to tell them that they were late because they were attacked by a pack of wild animals, but Eric ignored what he said and continued bitching him. Although for some weird reason, Karen had a weird and horrible dream where her Brother had died protecting her from the wolves, and when she went over to tell everyone in Kupa Keep on what happened, Karen could've sworn that she heard Stan and Kyle screaming in the far distance, 'OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!' and 'YOU BASTARD!', but when she woke up, Kenny reassured her that he didn't die and it was all just an awful dream.
"Mmm mmm mmm (Yeah, let's go)," Princess Kenny said as the Trio started walking forward and took a quick detour to the next house as Jessie looted the garage and found a cure potion as well as a large treasure chest and, after discreetly breaking open the lock with his super strength, Jessie was surprised to see that it was filled with tons of useful stuff like a Dubsteb Wig, a Chin Beard, two Large Mana Potions, and a Level 4 Duelist's Patch as Jessie pocketed them all.
Since he was still Level 3, Jessie decided to not equip the Level 4 Patch and decided to continue walking ahead with the others as they made their way out of the neighborhood and walked past the Park County Community Center as Kenny explained to Jessie that the town uses that place as either an evacuation center or a place to hold town meetings. Nodding in understanding, Jessie and the others walked past the Community Center as they arrived at a small tree containing a green bag and Jessie walked over to open it up as he saw teal dye and 35 Cents inside as he hand the money over to Princess Kenny and hid the dye inside of his pocket just as his phone's notification sound rang out as Jessie pulled out his phone...and frowned heavily as he saw that Tolkien posted a message on Facebook saying, 'My class is Healer. You can't just change it to Blacksmith, Cartman', and Eric replied, 'Don't fight it Token. You're a born Blacksmith. I just look at you and I think Blacksmith, you know? Not sure why'.
"So this prick is also a racist, huh?" A glaring Jessie asked as Princess Kenny nodded. "If he's such a horrible person, then why do you play with him?"
"Mmmmmm mmm mmmm mm mm mmm mmmm (Because his Mom is a hot slut)," Princess Kenny whispered into Jessie's ear as he grinned and nodded.
"Yeah, she is, and, judging by what Butters said, it seems that she knows her way around, if you catch my drift." Jessie says as he and Kenny shared a perverted laugh.
"What are you guys talking about?" Prince Karen asked curiously as she wasn't paying much attention to the conversation due to getting distracted by a nearby butterfly.
"Mm, mmm (Oh, nothing)," Princess Kenny says curtly, not wanting to talk about sex stuff around her Little Brother as she wants to keep him pure and innocent for as long as she can in this crazy-ass town.
"Oh, okay...hey, Kenny? When we get to school, can you buy me something to eat? I missed break-I mean, lunch." Prince Karen stuttered a bit while looking away sheepishly as Princess Kenny nodded.
"Mmmm mmm, mm mmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mm mmmm mmmmm (Don't worry, I will buy you something from the vending machines)," Princess Kenny says reassuringly as Prince Karen beamed and nodded as Jessie gave them an amused look.
"You two are really cute. I always wished that I have a sibling."
"Mmmm (Really?)," Princess Kenny asked in surprise as, when his Parents had told him and Kevin that they will have a new little sibling, Kenny was very against it, mostly because having another kid in their broken ass family was a hugely bad idea, but after he died and returned back to the land of living shortly after his Mother told him that she was pregnant, Kenny was surprised to see this strange little girl sitting on the couch of his home and talked to him as if he had known her his whole life. Kenny was heavily confused and a bit creeped out that his latest death had spawned this new kid out of nowhere and half-expected her to disappear after he died again, but when she didn't go away and after getting to know his new little sister who was apparently named 'Karen', Kenny grew to love her as a sister and had become very protective of her, even making sure that she has a somewhat better life compared to him and his brother, even if Kenny has to make sacrifices like working his ass off to be able to buy her new clothes and toys since his Parents either didn't care enough to buy her good stuff or didn't have enough money to buy her what she needs...most likely both.
"Yeah, but my Parents didn't want to have another Kid." Jessie lied as, while his Parents really didn't want to have another kid after having him (Not gonna lie, when Jessie heard his Father saying that to his Mother, it kind of hurt him a little), his Mom's womb died out after having him, something to do with the experiments, but after hearing his Mother mentioning her womb, Jessie was quick to make a beeline to the nearest exit to puke.
"Awww, that's so sad." Prince Karen said with a pout as Jessie smiled and rubbed his hair.
"Thanks for the concern, Kiddo, but don't worry, I'm okay. Really." Jessie lied again as he felt very lonely being an only kid, especially when his Parents constantly moved from one place to another and hardly had any time to make long-lasting friends, so Jessie barely has any time to interact with other people except for his Parents. "So, anyway, is it just you two or do you have another sibling." Jessie asked, trying to change the subject.
"Mmm, mmm, mmm mm mm mm mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmm (Oh, yeah, we both have an Older Brother named Kevin)," Princess Kenny responded as Jessie raised an intrigued eyebrow.
"Really?"
"Yeah, but Kevin hardly hang out with us anymore." Prince Karen says with a sad frown as Princess Kenny nodded.
"Mmmm mmmm mmm mmmm, mmm, mm mmm, mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmm. Mmm mmmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm (We don't know why, really, but lately, whenever we try to talk with Kevin, he always just runs off without saying a word. My Parents think that Kevin is going through a phase)," Princess Kenny explained as Jessie nodded in understanding just as they arrived at the South Park Elementary School, which was a large three-story large yellow building with numerous windows and a purple roof as it had a large blue sign reading 'South Park Elementary' in the front and a nearby flagpole holding onto the flag of America.
"So this is school, huh? Looks smaller than the other schools I went to." Jessie says to himself with a shrug as he and the others then made their way over to the window as they peeked inside with Princess Kenny being forced to grab onto Prince Karen by his armpits and hoisted him up into her arms since she was too small to glance through the window. "Alright, you two, be quiet and try not to give out our position." Jessie says to the McCormick Siblings, who nodded as the Trio then glanced through the window and spotted a Man and several students residing inside what seems to be the Detention Room.
The Man is a 50-year-old Male with an exaggeratedly large ballon head as he has black eyes, thinning black hair, large ears, a big pointed nose, dimples near the edges of his mouth, Caucasian Skin, a tall slim build, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved green dress shirt, a blue tie, a dark brown eye with a silver belt buckle, dark blue slacks, and blue leather shoes. His name is Mr. Mackey Jr., the Guidance Counselor at South Park Elementary.
One of the students is a ten-year-old Boy with black eyes, short black hair, a big nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a big blue chullo hat with a yellow puffball planted on the top and a brown chinstrap made of fabric, a long-sleeved tan shirt with a brown cape wrapped around his neck, a dark brown belt with pouches strapped across his body, long black pants, and black shoes. His name is Craig Tucker, a member of the boys' fourth-grade class and Tweek's boyfriend...anyway, the other students are not important to this story, so let's move on.
"Craig...Craig, this is DETENTION! Mkay, stop looking at your damn watch because you are here for THREE HOURS, BUDDY! Mkay!" A glaring Mr. Mackey screamed while pointing at Craig, who stared at him blankly as he glanced down at his watch again.
"Whatever."
"Don't think that your friends are gonna come bust you out this time, Craig!"
"My name is Feldspar, and I'm a Level Twelve Thief, and the Humans will soon rescue me from this tower."
"No, your name is fucking CRAIG TUCKER, and you're in DETENTION! Start doing your homework!" An enraged Mr. Mackey screamed while slamming his fists onto his desk as Craig was unfazed by what he said. "Mkay, I've got all of the doors SEALED, and I've got hallway monitors working OVERTIME! Nobody is gonna save your ASS today, Craig! Mkay?!"
"Challenge accepted." Jessie says with a grin while sharing a nod with the others as they then separated from the windows. "But before we go and save Feldspar, we're gonna need disguises."
"Mmm, mm'mm mmm mm mmm mmm mmmm? (Wait, we're going to wear disguises too?)," A surprised Kenny asked as Jessie nodded.
"Yeah, we can't have you two be recognized by the school staff...you two do go to this school, right?"
"Mmm/Yes," Kenny and Karen responded at once.
"Okay, good, anyway, we need to disguise ourselves, and I have the perfect disguise for myself," Jessie says while reaching into his pockets to pull an assortment of junk that he collected in his travels and took off his Friar Cap and 3D Glasses to put on a blunt wig as well as Cartman's Evil Goatee as he dyed them both hot pink and also puts on his gas mask. "Boom, foolproof disguise." Jessie says with a cocky smirk while putting on his Friar Cap as the McCormick Siblings nodded intriguingly.
"Good disguise." Prince Karen complimented.
"Thanks, Kiddo. For you, you can wear my helmet. It will help cover the majority of your face without blinding you." Jessie says while pulling out his silver helmet as Karen nodded and took off his crown as he puts on the silver helmet.
"Mmmm mmm mmm? (What about me?)," Princess Kenny asked curiously as Jessie turned to her.
"For you, I was thinking you can wear your hood down and wear this wig as well as these glasses." Jessie suggested while pulling out his blonde Irene Wig and a pair of 80s glasses as Princess Kenny nodded and took off her blonde wig as she pulled down her hood, revealing her face to Jessie for the first time since he got to South Park as the blue-haired boy was surprised to see that Kenny is a natural blonde.
"I hope this works, dude." Kenny says with her voice sounding much clearer to Jessie as he was surprised by how high-pitch it sounds before composing himself as the blue-haired boy handed the wig and glasses to her as Kenny was quick to put on her blonde Irene Wig and 80s Glasses.
"It will, don't worry." Jessie says reassuringly as Kenny nodded before noticing that her Little Brother Karen was staring up at her in amazement as she raised an eyebrow.
"What's wrong, Karen?"
"Oh, uh, it's nothing," Karen says with a sheepish blush, not used to seeing her Sister's face and hearing her voice so clearly, as Kenny tilted her head confusedly but shrugged as the Trio made their way inside and opened the front doors as they were surprised to see a Ginger Hall Monitor patrolling around.
"Excuse me, but School is out, and no students are allowed on the premises until tomorrow at 7:00 A.M.,"
"Yes, yes, that's true, but here's something that I have to say about that rule." Jessie says with a mischievous grin on his face as he made his way over to the Ginger Hall Monitor, and his face scrunches up a bit as Jessie takes a deep breath through his anus, and his stomach rumbled a bit as the blue-haired boy gritted his teeth. "Dragonshout!" Jessie exclaimed while whirling around to have his ass face the shocked Ginger Hall Monitor as he lets out a loud fart bubble that flew over to impact against his body, causing him to gag in disgust and was sent flying back as he crashed against a wall with a startled/pained grunt.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Kenny and Karen laughed as they shared high-fives with Jessie just as the Ginger Hall Monitor was able to recover from Jessie's disgusting attack as he pulled out his walkie-talkie.
"Officer down! Officer down! Send backup! All Hall Monitors to the right hall-Argh!" Ginger Hall Monitor says before grunting in pain as a stoic Jessie walked over to slam his Noob Hammer against the back of his head, knocking him out as he fell face-first onto the ground.
"Snitches get stitches, bitch." Jessie says threateningly while gripping his weapon tightly as, before anyone could say anything, the knocked-out Ginger Hall Monitor's walkie-talkie beeped loudly.
"Oh, god dammit!" An angry Mr. Mackey screamed through the walkie-talkie.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere they come." Craig drawled out in a monotone tone, although the Trio could tell that he had a shit-eating grin on his face.
"They aren't gonna get you, Craig! You're NOT getting out of detention!"
"I'll be out of here in 20 Minutes," Craig says smugly as a humming Jessie pulled out his phone and set an alarm to ring 20 Minutes later as he then bends down and started looting the Ginger Hall Monitor's 'corpse' as he was able to find a Cure Potion, 35 Cents, and a Level 4 Tuft of the Ginger Pubic Hair Patch, which Jessie promptly threw away since he refuses to wear anything that disgusting as he stood up from the floor and started walking over to look through the glass cases as the McCormick Siblings followed after him.
"Careful, Douchebag-,"
"My name is not Douchebag,"
"Errr, right, sorry, anyway, this dungeon holds many secrets. For centuries, these halls went unmonitored, but then the Evil Overlord Mackey rose an army of Gingers to protect his precious after-school detention. Now these minions lurk the halls terrorizing and suspending the innocent." Kenny says with an overdramatic tone as Jessie nodded just as his phone's notification sound rang out as the blue-haired boy fished into his pockets to pull out his phone and saw that Cartman had posted a message saying 'I forgot to mention that the school has gingers on hall monitor duty. If you get bit, you're already dead, so don't bother coming back here and infecting the rest of us'.
"Great, he hates Gingers too? What's next? He hates Jews?" An annoyed Jessie asked as Kenny and Karen slowly turned to share a look before glancing back at him as the blue-haired boy sighed heavily. "God dammit." Jessie says while pinching the bridge of his nose as he then turned over to look at the glass cage and saw various trophies as well as a 'Hall of Honor' Section where it shows the pictures of four people. "Who are these people?" Jessie asked while pointing up at the pictures as the McCormick Siblings were quick to explain.
"Oh, this is the Hall of Honor. It's something that the school did recently to honor the teachers and students who had died in our school." Kenny explained as Karen nodded before pointing up at a picture of an ugly ass woman that had a bird resting on her hair.
"That Woman was named Ms. Crabtree. She used to be the Main Bus Driver for our school, but she was really scary and always screamed at us to sit down and shut up. She was sadly killed by a Serial Killer named Michael Deets." Karen says with a sad pout as, while she was considered an ancillary character that the fans won't miss much, it doesn't mean that she deserved to get killed like that.
"That other Woman is named Ms. Choksondik." Kenny says while pointing up at a picture of an old woman with huge saggy tits.
"...I'm sorry, what?" Jessie asked incredulously.
"Yeah, that's her real name. We had a bunch of laughs with her. Anyway, she used to be our Fourth Grade Teacher before being killed after being choked by Mr. Mackey's dick." Kenny whispers into Jessie's ear as the blue-haired looked dubious by what she said, especially when Kenny looked nervous and guilty as he decides to ignore this for now and points over at the picture of a blonde-haired boy.
"Alright, and who is he?"
"Oh, he is a boy named Pip. I didn't know him much, but he was in my Brother's class and used to be friends with him and the others." Karen explained as Kenny nodded.
"Yeah, he used to be the Butters of our group before being replaced by Butters. We haven't hung out with him for a long while, but we found out that he died during Mecha-Streisand's rampage." Kenny says as Jessie, once again, looks bewildered by what she said, not knowing if she was telling the truth or making up a story as Jessie was then distracted by the picture of an African American Man as his picture was the largest and many various Teachers and Students had written lovely messages about him on it.
"Who is he?" Jessie asked while pointing at the picture of the African-American Man as the sight of his face made the McCormick look incredibly sad and miserable as Kenny lowered her head somberly while Karen sniffled.
"His...his...his name was Chef. H-He used to be the Cafeteria C-Chef for our school. H-He was a pretty great guy. He was the most competent adult we know in town and always gives us wise advise whenever we don't know what to do." Kenny says with tears in her eyes as she remembered all of the times that Chef gave her some extra servings whenever he noticed that Kenny looked very hungry and dangerously thin.
"C-Chef was so cool. He always looked after m-me whenever I was at school and t-taught me lots of stuff. I-I miss him so much." Karen says while walking over to hug her Older Sister as he cried a bit, remembering the times when Karen was so sad when his Bullies taunted him about being poor, and Chef always came to his defense and helped cheer him up by signing his funny and great songs.
"W-What happened to him?" Jessie asked concernedly as Kenny narrowed her eyes angrily and tightened her grip on his Little Brother.
"He was brainwashed by a group of pedophilic adventurers. We tried everything to help him out, but...we were too late and fell off a bridge to his death."
"Oh...uh...well...I hope your friend is in a better place." Jessie says sympathetically as, while he doesn't know much about Chef, he seemed to be very important to his new friends.
"Oh he is." Kenny says, remembering her numerous visits to Chef whenever she died and went to Heaven, which wasn't very often, unfortunately, as the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Chef there, and the African American Man not only finds out about Kenny's immortality but also his actions before his death as a remorseful Chef apologized to Kenny for stupidly joining that group without doing some more research first as a tearful Kenny forgave him and told him that she and her friends hate him as they merely just miss him greatly.
"C-Can we just go back to the mission?" A saddened Karen says as the Duo nodded grimly and made their way over to the right side of the school as the Trio opened the door and walked into the hallway as they were surprised to see Three Ginger Hall Monitors standing in front of them while wielding a pickaxe, a shield, and a dodgeball.
"Initiate Security Protocol!" One of the Ginger Hall Monitors screamed while running over to swing his weapon at Jessie, who swiftly avoided the attack with his superior speed as he swung his Noob Hammer around and slam it against the back of his head, knocking him out as he crashed down into the ground and the second Ginger Hall Monitor used his shield to block all of the arrows that were fired by Kenny, thanks to the help of her bow as the third Ginger Hall Monitor tossed his dodgeball over to Karen, who pulled out his toy sword and was able to whack away the dodgeball as he had accidentally sent it flying over to Jessie, but thankfully, he was able to grab the dodgeball by raising his arm and catching it in his hand with ease.
"Hmmm, this gives me an idea." Jessie says to himself in thought while pulling out his bat as he used his Assault and Batter Move to throw up the dodgeball as he then swung his metal bat over to slam it against the rubbery ball and was able to send it flying through the air as it impacted against the third Ginger Hall Monitor's face, knocking him out and sending him flying back as the dodgeball ricochet off of his face and it flew over to crash against a locker as it then flew over to slam against the wall and it zoomed over to collide against the second Ginger Hall Monitor's shield, easily destroying it as he was sent flying back and collided against a wall so hard that he grew unconscious as he slid down onto the ground.
"Hey, come here, big boy." Kenny says while using a more sultry and seductive tone as she walked over to the remaining Ginger Hall Monitor and used her Royal Kiss Move as she leans over to plant a kiss on the cheek, catching the Hall Monitor completely off guard as he grew sick and vomited on the ground as Kenny was quick to raise her bow and slammed it against the back of his head, knocking him out as he crashed down into the ground.
"Nice on, Princess." Jessie praised with a grin while walking over to open a locker as he looked inside and was able to find a Power Potion, 2 Cents, a (Small) Health Potion, a Mana Potion, a Blond Glee Wing, and a Poodlesaurus Rex Chinpokomon inside as he pocketed them all.
"Thank you, handsome." Kenny flirted, grossing Jessie out a bit as the Trio then made their way over to the doors of the Detention Room and was surprised to see that it was locked from the inside.
"You're not gonna get through this door, mkay! You might as well give up because I have hidden the golden key somewhere, and you'll never find it in my office...aw, dammit, mkay." Mr. Mackey says with an annoyed groan, unable to believe that he had just told them how to unlock the locks as the Trio shared a smirk and a laugh as they nodded and turned around to leave with Kenny leading the group as they made their way over to the Guidance Counselor Office, but was dismayed to see that it was also locked from the outside.
"Ah, darn, in order to the get the golden key from Mr. Mackey's Office, we fist need to get the silver key." Karen says as Kenny nodded in agreement.
"Ugh, this is gonna be tiring." Jessie thought to himself with a groan, reconsidering what he was planning since, originally, he didn't want to use his Super Strength to break off the locks since it will expose his abilities to the McCormick Siblings, but if this shit takes too much time and effort to do, Jessie will pretty much say 'Fuck it' and expose his powers right there and now.
"Guys, wait, look, a Hall Monitor." Kenny says while pointing over to a Ginger Hall Monitor standing in the middle of the hallway, completely oblivious to the Trio, even though they were standing five feet away from him in plain view.
"What should we do?" Karen asked worriedly as Jessie gave him a reassuring look.
"Don't worry, I got this." Jessie says while pulling out the Level 3 Dodgeball that he had stolen from the other Ginger Hall Monitor as he then equipped the Level 3 Lit Match Patch onto it, lighting the dodgeball on fire as Jessie then reared back his arm and tossed the flamming dodgeball as it flew over to collide against the Ginger Hall Monitor's head, knocking him out and burning his head a bit as he crashed down onto the floor and the dodgeball flew over to land in Jessie's hand.
"Whoa, that's some arm you got there." An impressed Karen says as Jessie gave her a nervous smile.
"Thanks, my Dad is a huge baseball fan, so he had taught me some stuff about throwing balls." Jessie says, which wasn't a full lie, but it's not the reason why he has a strong arm.
"You know, legend says that there is a Sixth Grader Hall Monitor who has a zillion freckles and a clipboard made of human bone. They say that he has a freckle for each kid that he suspended." Kenny says with an overdramatic tone as a surprised Jessie turned to her.
"Wow, that sounds hardcore." Jessie says as Kenny nodded, and the Trio walked down the hallway as they heard some weird muffled sounds inside of a room named 'Faculty Room' and Jessie tried to open it, only to find it locked as he gritted his teeth in annoyance. "God dam-I mean, darn it, we need to find another key."
"Brass key, to be specific." Kenny added in as Jessie nodded and, after looting a locker and finding 27 Cents and a Power Potion and Ginger Afro, the Trio made their way down the hallway and was surprised to see Six Ginger Hall Monitors standing behind a metal grate as one of them held up the brass key mockingly.
"The protector of the brass key will never surrender!" One of the Ginger Hall Monitors shouted stubbornly as Jessie glared at him angrily and was about to consider blasting a hole through the metal gate but was stopped by Kenny as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Don't worry, I got this. Karen? Cover your eyes for a second." Kenny says to Karen, who nodded and covered his eyes as Princess Kenny walked closer to the metal gate and, much to Jessie's surprise, she used her Charm Ability to reach up and pull down her dress shirt, revealing her 'breasts' to one of the Ginger Hall Monitors, who was mesmerized by the sight of the glorious orbs in front of him as he gained hearts in his eyes.
"Oh, wow! Boobies!" The Ginger Hall Monitor says while walking over to open the metal gate as he went over to an exposed Kenny and lifted up his arms as he made grabbing motions. "Must have...must touch-Argh!" Ginger Hall Monitor says before grunting in pain as Princess Kenny promptly covered herself up and proceeds to pull out her mirror to slam it against the Ginger Hall Monitor's face, knocking him out as he crashed down into the ground.
"Again, nice one, Princess." Jessie says with an amused chuckle, unable to believe that trick worked as he shared a high five with the Princess as a blinded Karen turned in the direction of their voices.
"Can I open my eyes now, Kenny?"
"Yes." Kenny says as Karen sighs in relief and stopped covering her eyes as Jessie went over to loot the unconscious Ginger Hall Monitor and was able to get a Power Potion and 35 Cents as the Trio then went deeper into the hallway as they spotted the remaining Ginger Hall Monitors standing by, ready to fight all of them as Jessie narrowed his eyes and spotted Two Ginger Hall Monitors standing near a large bulletin board as he grinned and reared back his arm as the blue-haired boy tossed the flaming dodgeball into the air and it flew over to collide against the bulletin board, causing it to detach itself the wall as it fell down to crash against the Ginger Hall Monitors's heads, knocking them out as they crashed down into the ground.
"I got these two." Kenny says reassuringly while walking over to Ginger Hall Monitor 3 and Fourth as she started using her Furry Friends Move and began signing an elegant song that attracted all of the rats around her as Princess Kenny then commanded all of them to attack the Ginger Hall Monitors, who screamed in fear and dropped their weapons to turn around and run away as the army of Rats followed after them.
"That's it! I'm going to beat you all up!" The Last Ginger Hall Monitor screamed as he was about to go over and fight them, but then-
"Hi-yah!" Karen screamed while running over to jab his stomach with her toy sword, causing him to grunt in pain as Karen then took off her silver helmet and swung it around as she slammed it against Ginger Hall Monitor's face, causing him to crash down into the ground as he got knocked out.
"...Whoa...Karen...that was awesome!" Kenny complimented with a smile while he and Jessie went over to him as Karen turned to blush in embarrassment at the praise.
"He, he, thanks, its a move that I learned from my Guardian Angel." Karen says, causing Kenny to flinch while Jessie raised an eyebrow but got distracted when he noticed that the Ginger Hall Monitor that Karen knocked out is the same one that was holding onto the brass key and walked over to fish it out of his pockets.
"Well, either way, great work, Karen. Why don't you go over and unlock the Faculty Room Door for us while we stay behind to make sure that all of the Hall Monitors are knocked out?" Jessie suggested as Karen nodded and, after being handed the brass key, she walked off as Jessie and Kenny went to work to make sure that the Ginger Hall Monitors are knocked out while also looting their 'dead corpses' as the Duo didn't notice that one of them was only pretending to be knocked out and carefully took out his Walkie Talkie as he turned it on.
"MORE OFFICERS ARE DOWN! WE'RE TAKING HEAVY CASUALITIES OUT HERE! THEY GOT THE BRASS KEY, AND I THINK THAT ONE OF THEM IS SOME KIND OF DRAGONBORN-ARGH!" The Ginger Hall Monitor says before getting knocked out by Jessie as he walked over to slam his Noob Hammer against the back of his head, causing him to drop down onto the ground as he dropped his still-activated walkie-talkie.
"Dammit, you Hallway Monitors need to stop playing around! This is Detention Time! Not the time to play Dungeous and Dragons! And besides, he's never gonna get inside here because to open the door, you need to get the gold key, and the only to get the gold key is getting the silver key, mkay, which, even if he has the brass key to get the silver key and then use that to open my office and get the gold key to open the Detention Room Doors, he still hasn't gotten pass the Boss Level, mkay!" Mr. Mackey screamed while shutting off the walkie-talkie.
"...Okay...that just happened." A bewildered Jessie says while sharing a look with Princess Kenny as they then shrugged and made their way into the Janitor's Closet as the Duo looted around, and Jessie was able to find 25 Cents, another Ginger Wig, and a Level 3 Healers Patch, which will allow him to regain 25 Extra HP when healed as well as a Level 3 Cheerleader's Patch, which will allow him to gain 1 PP each turn as Jessie equipped them for his Friar Robes.
"Let's go." Kenny says as Jessie nodded, and the Duo made their way up the Hallway with the blonde-haired girl taking a quick detour to buy some Spicy Cheetos from a vending machine as the Duo found Karen standing outside of the Faculty Room with the door being opened as, after telling him what Mr. Mackey said through the Walkie-Talkie and Kenny gave him the Spicy Cheetos to eat for later, the Trio walked into the room and spotted Two Ginger Hall Monitors standing near them, ready for combat as there were Two Other Ginger Hall Monitors standing on the other side of the room and could be seen torturing a boy, who was ruffled up and was tearing up.
"Hmmm, what to do." Jessie says to himself thoughtfully as Prince Karen looked around and spotted a box filled with fireworks as well as a smoking tray with a lit cigarette on it placed on the edge of a table as an idea popped into his head, and Karen was quick to walk over to the table and give it a swift kick, knocking the smoking tray down as it fell down to fall inside of the boxes filled with fireworks, lighting all of them up as they went off and started flying across the room uncontrollably as they miraculous manage to only hit the Two Ginger Hall Monitors preparing to fight them.
"Don't let them get the silver key!" One of the Ginger Hall Monitors screamed as they decided to stop torturing the Kid to go over to attack our Faithful Warriors with Princess Kenny pulling out her bow as she fired multiple heart arrows at one of the Ginger Hall Monitors, being able to 'kill' them as he crashed down into the ground and Jessie held out his hand to stop the last Ginger Hall Monitor as he used his Roshambo Ability to gesture him to play a game of rock-paper-scissors with him and the confused Ginger Hall Monitor reluctantly agreed to play, but then yelped in pain as Jessie delivered a mighty kick to his nuts, causing him to kneel down onto the floor in pain while squealing like a little girl as Jessie decided to give him some mercy and knocked him out after slamming his Noob Hammer against his head.
"Thanks for saving me, Guys." The Tortured Kid says while getting up from the floor as he went over to them. "I thought that I was a goner for a minute there. There were too many of them. They were too strong, their hair too red." The Tortured Kid says as he then pulled out a silver key and hands it over to Jessie. "Maybe you can take this silver key and find the gold key. You can succeed where I failed and free Mackey's prisoners." The Tortured Kid says before walking out of the room as Jessie turned to the others.
"Alright, now that the hard part is done, you two go ahead and meet up with me at the Detention Room. I will meet up with you guys soon." Jessie says as the McCormick Siblings nodded and followed after the Tortured Kid as Jessie stayed behind to loot the room a bit and was able to find some Charms Facepaint as well as a Strength Potion as Jessie immaturely blew a raspberry at the knocked-out Ginger Hall Monitors before making his way out of the Faculty Room as he walked down the hall and arrived at the Guidance Counselor Room as Jessie opened the door with the silver key.
"I hope the gold key is in here, or else I will just break open the damn doors myself." Jessie says with a glare while walking into Mackey's Office as he went over to his desk and opened one of the drawers as the blue-haired boy was happy to find the golden key inside and grabbed it as Jessie then made his way out of the office and walked down the hallway to reach the Detention Room as he spotted Kenny and Karen standing near the doors. "Alright, I got the golden key. Let's get in." Jessie says as the McCormick Siblings nodded and were about to try and unlock the doors, but stopped as they all noticed a large shadow covering them. "Oh, mothertrucker." A glaring Jessie says as he, Princess Kenny, and Prince Karen turned around to see a Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor standing in front of them.
"Where's your hall passes, intruders?"
"Oh, its in nonya."
"Nonya?"
"Yeah, none ya business, doofus." Jessie insulted with a scowl as Kenny and Karen chuckled while the Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor glared at him as he clenched his fists.
"You're a smartass, huh? I don't appreciate smartasses. It's time to write you all a referral." Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor says with a sadistic grin while pulling out a long staff that had a dodgeball connected to it with the help of a silver chain.
"Oh, yeah! That's the Boss! Good luck fighting the Boss, mkay! You still think this is a game, Young Man!"
"Yeah, it is! You ballon head freak!" Jessie snapped at Mr. Mackey, who was red-faced at what he said from behind the Detention Doors as Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor swung his basketball flail at the Trio, who were able to jump out of the way as the Male Ginger gritted his teeth and pulled out his Walkie-Talkie.
"Deadly force is authorized!" Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor ordered as Five Ginger Hall Monitors appeared and stood beside him from each side as Jessie gritted his teeth and turned to the McCormick Siblings.
"Guys? You guys deal with the smallfries. I will deal with the big guy." Jessie says as Kenny and Karen nodded as they went over to deal with the Ginger Hall Monitors while the blue-haired boy was left behind with their leader.
Narrowing his eyes, Jessie lets out a loud battle cry as he ran over to jump up and swung his Noob Hammer down at Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor, who jumped away to avoid the attack as he landed on the ground in a small crouch and swung his weapon at the blue-haired boy. Discreetly using his flight powers to stay airborne for a few seconds, a glaring Jessie grabbed onto his dodgeball and then reached over to latch onto the silver chain as he used his superhuman strength to lift him up into the air and slammed him against the lockers, causing the Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor to yelp in pain and lets go of his weapon as he crashed down into the ground.
Pulling out her bow, Princess Kenny fired multiple heart arrows at the Ginger Hall Monitors with one of them being able to block the arrows as Prince Karen ran over to swipe his toy sword at the Second Ginger Hall Monitor, who easily blocked his attack with his bat as he kicked his on the stomach, causing him to grunt in pain and fall down as Kenny saw what happened and grows angry as she ran over to them and jumped up as she rang along the lockers and jumped off it to twirl around as Kenny delivered a mighty kick across the Ginger Hall Monitor's face, knocking him out as he crashed down onto the ground and Kenny landed on the ground as he turned over to check on Karen, who was staring up at him in awe at his moves as she couldn't help but find them familiar.
Groaning in pain, Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor glanced up and gritted his teeth angrily as he spotted a screaming Jessie falling towards him and lifted up his Noob Hammer as he swung it at Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor, who was able to roll out of the way to avoid the attack as Jessie ended up slamming his weapon against the ground and the Ginger Hall Monitor was able to lift up his leg as he delivered a powerful kick at his Noob Hammer, breaking its handle as Jessie was surprised by this and landed on the ground as he glanced down at the broken handle of his weapon and glanced up just as a roaring Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor stood up from the floor as he delivered a strong punch across his face.
Helping his Little Brother up to his feet, the McCormick Siblings spotted Two Ginger Hall Monitor running towards them as Karen got an idea and stood up to her tippy toes to whisper into Kenny's ear as he beamed and nodded, accepting her plan as Prince Karen lifted up her toy sword and used her Excelsior Move to lift up her sword as it lets out a huge flash of bright white light that blinded the rushing Hall Monitors and distracted them long enough for Princess Kenny to pull out a strength potion as she hates it and her bow glowed red as the blonde-haired girl proceeds to fire two glowing red arrows that flew over to collide against the Ginger Hall Monitors and 'stabbed' through their chests, 'killing' them as they crashed down onto the ground.
Grinning slyly, Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor then gasped in surprise when he noticed that Jessie was able to tank his punch with ease as he slowly reached up to grab onto his arm and tightened his grip on it, causing the Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor to grit his teeth in sheer pain as Jessie forced him down onto his knees and the Main Hall Monitor glared up at him and tried to headbutt him repeatedly, not hurting him whatsoever as Jessie grabbed onto him by the front of his shirt and lifted him up into the air with his super strength as he whirled him around to slam him against the locker and lifted up his arm as Jessie started throwing multiple punches across his face.
Noticing that there were two last Ginger Hall Monitors remaining, the McCormick Siblings shared a look as Prince Karen put away her toy sword and used her Barbarian Battle Cry Move as she clenched her fists and started slamming them across her chest repeatedly while screaming as loud as she could as big white soundwave blasts ejected out of her mouth and they flew over to collide against the Ginger Hall Monitors, causing them to scream in pain and clutch their bleeding ears in pain as Princess Kenny activated her Furry Friends Move and began signing an elegant song that attacked all of the rats around her as the blonde-haired girl then commanded all of them to attack the Ginger Hall Monitors, covering their bodies with head to toe with a bunch of disease-ridden rats as they started biting them and the Ginger Hall Monitors screamed in extreme pain as they turned around to run away.
"Stop! Please! I give up! I give up!" The Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor screamed while crying as he had a black eye, a busted lip, and bruises all over his face as Jessie stopped punching him and gave him a vicious smirk.
"Heh, wimp." Jessie says before delivering a powerful headbutt across Sixth Grade Ginger Hall Monitor's head, instantly knocking him out as the blue-haired boy proceeds to let go of him and the knocked-out Sixth Grader crashed down onto the ground as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and proceeds to pull out his phone as the blue-haired boy was happy to see that he had leveled up to Level 4 and was quick to press onto the Abilities Tap as Jessie decide to level up his Assault and Battery Move to Level 3, which will now allow him to give stunned targets additional damage. "Anyway, great job, guys. You did great." Jessie complimented the McCormick Siblings after putting away his phone as a smiling Kenny and Karen walked over to him.
"Thanks, it was really hot seeing you beat up that Sixth Grade. After this is over, how about I reward you for your heroic efforts~," Princess Kenny flirted sensually while reaching over to rub her hand against Jessie's chest as her hand started slowly tracing down to Jessie's crotch, but the very uncomfortable blue-haired boy was able to stop him as he grabbed onto her arm.
"Okay, dude, I get that your playing a girl and, to be honest, if you were a real girl, I would've taken your offer, but since your a boy, don't be extra."
"Alright." Princess Kenny says with a shrug, backing off as Jessie sighs in relief before making his way over to knocked out Sixth Grader as he started looting him and was able to find 2.00 Dollars and 20 Cents as well as a (Large) Health Potion as the blue-haired boy was also able to find the Hall Monitor Locker Key.
"Ooh, good find." Jessie says with a smile as he made his way over to what seems to be the Sixth Grade Hall Monitor's Locker and used the key to open it as the blue-haired boy found 10.00 Dollars, a Strength Potion, a Black Eye Makeup Kit, a Level 4 Bubble Gum Wrapper Patch which will allow him to heal 5 HP in each turn, and even found a new weapon, which was the Mace of Restoration. "Okay, I stand corrected. Now, THIS is a good find." An excited Jessie says, happy to get a new weapon as he grabbed the mace and swung it around for a bit before putting it away as Jessie then equipped the Level 4 Bubble Gum Wrapper Patch onto his Friar Gloves.
"Alright, we should probably get back to the Quest at hand, handsome." Kenny says as a sheepish Jessie nodded and made his way over to the doors as he proceeds to use the golden key to unlock the chains and proceeds to lift up his leg as the blue-haired boy kicked the doors open.
"Hello, my bitches! You are all free! Let's get out this bitch!" Jessie screamed, causing Craig and all of the Students to perk up and stand up from their seats as they all started running out of the Detention Room.
"DAMN YOU, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIG!" A furious Mr. Mackey screamed while shaking his fist at the kids angrily as we cue back to Jessie and the others as we see them running out of the South Park Elementary School and made their way through the city as, after arriving near the South Park Basketball Court, the Kids stopped running and panted heavily, and then flinched as an alarm rang out as a recovered Jessie reached into his pockets and pulled out his phone as he shuts off his phone.
"Huh, look at that. We were able to free you in less than 20 Minutes. Awesome." A cocky Jessie says as Craig turned to him.
"Speaking off, thanks for busting me out, guys. Who are you?" Craig asked as he was not able to recognize the Trio due to their disguises.
"Oh, I'm the New Kid in town. The name's Jessie Gladstone. Nice to meet ya." Jessie says while taking off his pink blunt wig and gas mask as well as Cartman's Evil Pink Goatte as he proceeds to put on his Friar Cap and 3D Glasses.
"I'm Prince Karen." Karen says while taking off Jessie's Silver Helmet as he handed it back to him, and then puts on his red metal crown.
"And it's me, Princess Kenny, the fairest maiden in all of the land." Kenny says with a girlish tone taking off her Irene Blonde Wig and 80s Glasses as she then pulled up her hood and puts on her usual fake blonde wig.
"Oh, gotcha. Nice to meet you, New Kid, and its good to see you, my Princess and Prince. Anyway, I'm off to Kupa Keep. See you guys there, I guess." Craig says while walking away as everyone watched him go and Jessie was surprised to see that his phone was going off again as he pulled it out and saw that he got a friend request from Craig.
"What do we do now?" Karen asked curiously as Jessie turned to him and his Older Sister.
"You two head back to Kupa Keep. I have to do Kevin's Mission real quick before I meet up with the others."
"Mmm, mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mm mm mmmm. Mmmm, mmm mm mm mm mm mmm, mmm mmm mm mm mmm mmm mmmm mmm. Mmmmm mmm mmm mmm mm mmm mmm mm mm mm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm (Okay, man, stay safe and look out for the Elves. Oh, and to go to the Church, you turn left and continued walking straight. You just have to walk the South Park Police Station and you will be able to reach the Church in no time)," Princess Kenny says as Jessie nodded and watched on as the McCormick Siblings turned around to walk away, and, after following Kenny's Direction and walking pas the South Park County Police Station, Jessie was able to arrive at the Church.
"Alright, where is that iPad?" Jessie asked with narrowed eyes as he spend the next 10 minutes looking for Kevin's Dad Ipad and was able to find it behind a pine tree as the blue-haired boy was quick to walk over to nearby a Fast Travel Flag and, one Timmy ride later, Jessie was able to arrive in front of Kevin's House as he entered inside and walked up to the second floor. "Yo, I'm here with your iPad, dude." Jessie says after opening the door to his room and walked in as he spotted Kevin resting on the bed.
"Well done, New Kid. The galaxy is in your debt. Let it be known that I have been...and will always be...your friend...on Facebook." Kevin says while pulling out his phone as he pressed a few buttons and Jessie's phone notification sound rang out as he pulled out his phone and saw that Kevin had sent him a friend request as Jessie was quick to accept it and also noticed that he has enough friends to get a new perk as Jessie was quick to click on the Perk Tab, and, after looking through the selection of different perks, he decided to pick the 'Apprentice' icon so that his maximum PP is increased by 20%. "Also, take this as a reward for helping me out." Kevin says while handing him a Level Four Missile of Slowing, which was essentially a big snowball that was able to somehow not melt in his hands as a smiling Jessie was quick to equip his Lit Match Patch onto it.
"Neat." Jessie says while making his way out of Kevin's House as, one Fast Travel Flag over, we see the blue-haired boy arriving at the Kingdom of Kupa Keep with the help of Timmy and looked around as he spotted Craig standing near a nervous Tweek and also spotted Kenny and Karen standing next to Eric as they explained to him about his successful mission and Cartman gestured at the New Kid to go closer to him as Jessie did as he wanted.
"Gentleman, thanks to the New Kid's efforts, our entire army is now assembled!" Cartman screamed just as Butters and the others appeared as they walked over to stand behind Jessie. "It is my belief that the New Kid deserves to rank up in level. To honor his efforts, he will no longer be called 'Douchebag'," Eric said, surprising Jessie as he then beamed.
"Wait, seriously? About damn time, I was getting tired of everyone calling me-,"
"New kid, I hereby dub thee...Sir Douchebag! Congratulations!"
"OH, GODAMMIT!" Jessie screamed angrily while closing his eyes and pulling on his blue hair in frustration as Butters and the others gave him a polite, awkward clap.
"But now it is time for us to take back that which is rightfully ours. A Carrier Raven has come with news that the Stich of Truth has not yet been taken to the Elven Forest. It is in the possession of the...Bard!" Eric screamed with a haunted look and a dramatic tone as everyone, sans Douchebag, gasped in shock and horror.
"The Bard?!" A wide-eyed Scott asked fearfully.
"Oh God, not the Bard!" A terrified, trembling Tweek screamed while hugging Craid, who rubbed his back to comfort him as a bewildered Jessie looked around.
"Uh, remember, New Kid here. Who the hell is the Bard?"
"The Bard is a Level 10 Drow Elf who can use music to enchant and destroy his enemies." Butters explained as a now concerned Jessie gasped sharply.
"Oh, crap! Like that Pied Piper Guy from the Third Shrek Movie!"
"Uh, do you mean the Fourth Shrek Movie?" Tolkien asked with a raised eyebrow as Jessie gave him a confused look.
"What? What are you talking about, Token? There isn't a Fourth Shrek Movie. There are only three of them. Shrek, Shrek 2, and Shrek Forever After."
"What about Shrek the Third?" Princess Kenny asked as Jessie scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"What ABOUT Shrek the Third?" Jessie says venomously as Cartman gave him an impressed look.
"Douchebag, my respect for you has grown immensely."
"Thanks, Fatass, but my name is not-,"
"Anyway, Sir Douchebag, if you're ready to continue training your magic, meet me at the Training Grounds." Eric says while turning around to walk toward the Training Ground as Jessie watched him go with a sharp glare, very tempted to laser off that smug smirk on his face, but decided against it due to having too many witnesses...and because it's the wrong thing to do as Jessie made his way over to stand beside the Grand Wizard. "Okay, I'm going to teach you how to use a ranged magic attack. It's not easy, but being able to cup-a-spell from a distance can save you in battle. Now, to Cup-A-Spell, you have to take a deep breath through your anus and let your stomach rumble a bit and then place your hand behind your ass, cup your fat, and then throw it at your opponent. Allow me to demonstrate." Cartman says while scrunching his face a bit as he takes a deep breath through his anus and his stomach rumbled a bit as fatass hovered his hand behind his ass and lets out a loud fart bubble as Eric cups it and lets out a loud yell as he thrust his arm forward and his fart bubble flew over to impact against the dummy as he was able to move it back and forth.
"Oooh, that actually seems useful." A beaming Jessie says as Eric turned to smirk at him smugly.
"Hell yeah, it is. Now that you have seen how it works, you try. Way back from where you are standing, cup your magic, and throw it at your opponent, but make sure to NOT aim at your opponents balls. Seriously, don't do that. That's a dick move."
"Alright, alright, I got it." Jessie says while rolling his eyes as his face then scrunched his face a bit and takes a deep breath through his anus as his stomach rumbled a bit. "Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to the dummy, but then it suddenly curved around him as it flew over to impact against Cartman's face.
"Aaaaghhh! Fuck! Gross! I had my mouth opened!" A disgusted Cartman screamed while flailing around as Jessie pointed at him and laughed.
"Ha, ha, ha! That's what you get for calling me Douchebag!" Jessie screamed as a green-faced Eric went over to get healed by Butters, and a still-laughing Jessie made his way over to Scott. "Yo, Scott, do you mind if I buy some stuff?"
"Oh, of course. That's actually smart thinking, Douchebag. You should definitely stock up on some powerups and potions in case anything happens while fighting the Bard."
"My name is not...whatever." An annoyed Jessie says with a tired sigh as he looked over his selection and saw a Level 4 Club of Smitting Weapon that costs 10.00 Dollars as Jessie was about to ignore it since he literally just got a new weapon already, but after seeing that it had way more attack power, Jessie decided to do a trade with Scott and handed him the Mace of Restoration while he got the Club of Smitting for free as Jessie didn't bother buying any potions since he has stockfull of all of the potions that he could want.
Smiling at himself, Jessie then looked at the Armor Section since he was getting a bit bored with his current clothes and spotted an impressive Level 4 KKK Armor and Gloves that cost 10.00 and 5.00 Dollars each as Jessie bought them while ignoring the helmet since it looks ugly as he then made his way over to the Changing Tent to put on his armor and dyed the shirt blue while his shoulder pads and pants were colored red with his gloves remaining the same as he equipped his gloves with his Level 3 Cheerleader's Patch while his armor got the Level 4 Bubble Gum Wrapper Patch as Jessie then decided to equip his Level 3 Lightning Sticker Patch on his Club of Smitting, covering it with his electricity as, to finish with his suit up montage, Jessie puts on his Silver Helmet and long blue cape as he adjusted his 3D Glasses and then dipped his fingers onto some black paint as the blue-haired boy colored in two black stripes on his cheeks.
"Ooh, damn, nice getup, Jessie." Tolkien says while walking over to him as Jessie smirked at him.
"Thanks, Token. I figured that since this is my first major battle, I should dress to impress." Jessie says with a smug tone just as a recovered Cartman made his way out of his Private Tent while glaring briefly at Douchebag as he then composed himself and glanced at all of the members of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep.
"Everyone, if the Carrier Ravens are correct, the Bard is hiding at the Inn of the Giglging Donkey. We must find him before he's able to take the Stick of Truth back to the Elven Forest."
"LET US FIND THE BARD AND BRING HIM TO JUSTICE!" A determined, glaring Butters screamed while raising his Warhammer as an excited Jessie and the others did the same with their respective weapons.
"MAKE HASTE TO THE GIGGLING DONKEY!" Cartman screamed as he and the whole Kingdom of the Kupa Keep, except for Scott, who decided to stay behind to guard the base, then turned around to run out of Eric's Backyard to make their way to the Giggling Donkey...but not before grabbing the snacks that Liane made for everyone, much to Eric's annoyance.
"...there it is, the Inn of the Giggling Donkey." Cartman says dramatically as we see him and the others hiding behind a set of bushes as Jessie and the others poked their heads out as the blue-haired boy deadpans at the sight of a random navy blue house. "Paladin, are you sure the Bird is hiding out in there?"
"Yeah, that's what Twitter says."
"CARRIER RAVEN, BUTTERS!" An enraged Cartman screamed as Butters flinched and looked away awkwardly as he twiddled his thumbs.
"S-Sorry, that's what the Carrier Raven said." Butters says with a sniffle as Jessie patted his back to comfort him and glared over at the fatass, who pointedly ignored him as he turned to his group.
"Craig and Prince Karen? Guard the back door. Tweek, Token? Guard the front door. Princess Kenny, Butters, and Sir Douchebag? Your all with me. Let's go inside." Cartman says as everyone nodded, and Craig grabbed onto Prince Karen's hand as he leads them to the back of the house while Butters and Tolkien went over to stand beside on each side of the door as Jessie, Eric, Princess Kenny, and Butters made their way to the inside of the Inn of the Giggling Donkey.
"Whoa, now this is more like it." A beaming Jessie says while looking around in awe as he saw that the whole Living Room was decked out with medieval fantasy decoration, various tables filled with laughing people eating and sharing drinks, a small bar with a boy pretending to be a bartender, and was even dressed as one as there was also smooth jazz playing in the background. "Okay, I have to say, I'm genuinely happy with how much effort you guys put into your game. Like, it just makes the game way more fun."
"Thank you." A smiling Butters says as Eric, however, still looks wary and suspicious as he looks around.
"Enough gawking, Douchebag. The Inn of the Giggling Donkey harbos the scum of all Zaron. Stay close." Cartman warns as Jessie rolled his eyes but nodded as they walked over to the bar. "A glass of meedlewine, please?"
"No meedlevine, only Fairy Ale." The Bartender stated bluntly as Eric shrugged.
"A pint of Fairy Ale, then." Eric says as the Bartender nodded and made him a cup of Fairy Ale as he handed it over to the Grand Wizard, who drinks it all in one gulp as he looks around. "So...uh...has anyone seen the Bard lately?" Cartman asked as, just like that, the music was cut off, and everyone turned to glare at the Kupa Keep Members with Jessie glaring at this angrily as he gripped his Club of Smitting tightly, and Eric gave him a look that reads, 'Calm down, the time of fighting is not neigh' as he then turned to the others. "A cup of Alye isn't much if not accompanied by some baric poems and songs."
"Sure, he's here, all right. He's got a room down in the cellar." The Bartender says as Cartman nodded.
"Ah, and I shall pay handsomely for his services." Eric says while tossing his drink into a nearby trashcan. "Sir Douchebag." Eric says while walking away as Jessie and the others followed after him as they reached the door leading to the cellar.
"I don't know, something feels wrong about this." A frowning Jessie says, feeling that something bad was about to happen as Cartman ignored his concerns and turned to him with a serious glare on his face.
"Sir Douchebag, Butters, go down and flush him out. Princess Kenny and I will be waiting here to capture him for interrogation. Remember, the Bard can use songs to enchant. Don't let him get to you." Cartman says as Jessie sighs heavily, but nodded as he and Butters walked down into the cellar of the Inn of the Giggling Donkey with the blonde-haired boy having trouble looking around due to how dark it was, but thankfully, Jessie's vision was better than normal humans and could see the room perfectly as if the lights were turned on as the blue-haired boy gasped sharply at the sight of a boy standing on the end of the room while using crutches to walk around Five Elves stood beside him.
The Mysterious Boy is a 10-year-old with a rather lopsided face as well as exotropia as he has black eyes, light brown hair with sideburns, thin light brown eyebrows, a small nose, metal braces, Caucasian Skin, a slender build, and his outfit consists of a newspaper hat with a feather, a yellow shirt with a green scarf wrapped around his neck as it doubles as a cape, his metal crutches, long blue pants, and dark brown shoes as he also carried around a light brown flute. His name is Jimmy Valmer, a member of the Boys' Fourth Grade Class and a stand-up comedian that is also disabled as he has ataxic cerebral palsy, along with equinus, and crouch gait.
"Oh, crap, Butters! Look out! It's an ambush!" Jessie screamed just as the lights were turned on, revealing the Bard and the Elves to a shocked Butters as he pointed at him.
"Oh, Jesus! It's the Bard!"
"Don't point out the obvious, stupid! Let's run!" Jessie screamed as a trembling Butters nodded, and they both tried to turn around to run away, only to gasp in shock as they spotted several Elves grabbing onto a panicking Grand Wizard and Princess Kenny as they struggled to free themselves.
"Prepare for battle, w-w-weaklings." A grinning Jimmy says with a Brooklyn Accent.
"DOUCHEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG! IT'S A TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"
"NO SHIT, DUMBASS!" A glaring Jessie screamed just as Cartman and Kenny were pulled away, and they disappeared from sight. "You're not going to get away with this, Bard!" Jessie says with a scowl as Jimmy chuckled.
"You should've never come here...what's your name?"
"Jessie Gladstone, but you can call me Sir Jessie."
"Gotcha...you should've never come here, Sir Jessie and Paladin Butters! I am a Level 10 Bard and, with my flute, I shall power up my Elven Guards with magical songs of encha...with magical songs of encha...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with magical songs of enchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...with 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"Huh, I'm surprised that you didn't flip out or anything." Butters says to Jessie, who shrugged.
"Usually, I would've, but since he is disabled, I decided to give him a slide." Jessie says as Jimmy made his way over to stand on top of a box while his Elves got ready for battle as two of them pulled out their wooden swords, and the two other Elves pulled out their bows and arrows.
"There was once a maiden from Stonebury Hollow, she didn't talk much, but damn did she swallow~," Jimmy sang while pulling out a ukelele as he strummed it and raises the defenses for all of the Elves.
"Okay, not gonna lie, that was a cool song, but that's trouble for us." Jessie says before raising his Club of Smitting as one of the Elves ran over to swing his wooden sword against him repeatedly with the blue-haired boy being able to block all of the attacks as he then whacked him away and was about to attack him, only to grit his teeth in pain as another Elf fired his arrow at him and it nicked his cheek as Jessie hissed in pain.
"Don't worry, buddy, I got you." Butters says while walking over to pat his shoulder, healing his injuries as Jessie smiled before growing serious as Two Elves drew back on their bowstring and fired numerous arrows covered in barbed wire as they flew over to our Faithful Heroes with Jessie and Butters using their Club of Smitting and Warhammer to whack away the arrows as a few of them were able to nick Jessie's forehead and Butters cheek as they yelped in pain.
"That's it!" A glaring Jessie screamed while pulling out his flaming Missle of Snowing as he tossed it forward, and it flew forward to collide against the Elves containing bows, freezing them in place and burning them up at the same time, creating a frost fire effect as they screamed in pain and shivered as they hug themselves.
"Feel my righteous fury!" Butters screamed while walking over to raise his Warhammer into the air as a dark gray cloud appeared above him, and a bolt of yellow lightning ran down to impact against his weapon as a scowling Butters fired a bolt of lightning at one of the Elves holding a wooden sword, electrocuting the hell out of him as his buddy furiously held out his wooden sword in a Riposte Tance and then ran over to start slamming his wooden sword against Butters repeatedly with him being able to barely block the attack as he got bruises all over his body.
"I have a nice lance that she sat upon, the maiden from Stoneburry...who was also your Mom~," Jimmy sang with a mischievous grin as he rose the attacking potency for his Elven Guards.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MAMA?! THAT'S IT!" A glaring Jessie screamed while gripping his weapon tightly as his eyes glowed blue, and his hair slowly flew upwards into the air as they briefly glowed blue. "THUNDERSLAM!" Jessie exclaimed furiously while raising his weapon into the air as he twirled it around rapidly, and lets out a loud battle cry as the blue-haired boy proceeds to slam his Club of Smitting onto the ground and sends out a big shockwave made out of blue electricity as they flew over to impact against the Eleven Guards, sending them flying back and electrocuting them at the same time as they crashed against the wall and slid down as the Elven Guards fall down onto the ground and went unconscious.
"...Whoa..." A shocked Butters says with his jaws dropped as an equally shocked yet scared Jimmy jumped off his box and started making his way up the stairs.
"Wow, what a buttkicking." Jimmy says while being able to reach the top of the stairs as he opened it and spotted Five Elves standing in front of him. "Get down there and finish them off. I will protect the Stick of Truth." Jimmy says before running out of the Celler as the Elven Guards made their way down into the cellar and glared at the Duo as they pulled out their weapons and Jessie glared at them before spotting a nearby broken lamp placed near a conveniently placed small propane tank as a dangerous idea popped into his head and Jessie's face scrunches up a bit as he takes a deep breath through his anus and his stomach rumbled a bit.
"Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to the broken lamp, and a big explosion occurred that took out Two Elven Guards, but thankfully not killing him, although this still enrages the other Three Elves as they scowled at them.
"That's it! You're dead, New Kid-,"
"Jessie! Butters!" A familiar voice rang out as the Duo, and the Elves glanced up as they were surprised to see Prince Karen and Craig standing near the basement window. "Close your eyes!" Prince Karen advises as Jessie and Butters perked up, knowing what he was planning as they closed their eyes just as Karen activated his Excelsior Move as he held up his toy sword, and it lets out a huge flash of bright white light that blinded the Elven Guards as Craig was quick to use his Thief Skills to pick the lock of the window and was able to open it up as he then pulled out several small shurikens and a glaring Feldspar tossed them all over to the Elven Guards, embedding them onto their backs but thankfully not cutting through their skin as they pretended to let out a scream of pain and crashed down into the ground as the Eleven Guards 'died'.
"Nice one, Guys." Jessie complimented with a thumbs up as Karen and Craig nodded.
"You're welcome." Karen says with a sweet smile as Butters turned to Craig.
"Hey, Feldspar, can you get us upstairs? I think they lock us out." Buttes says as Craig scoffed and rolled his eyes as he then jumps off the shelf and landed on the ground as Jessie held out his arms, and a grunting Karen leaped off from the shelf as he landed in his arms, and the blue-haired boy proceeds to place the Prince down onto the floor.
"Eh, nothing a Level 12 Thief can't take care of." Craig says while climbing up the stairs with the others following after him as he easily picks the lock on the door and opened it as the Group walked out and were surprised to see an Elf Warrior standing a few feet away from them.
"FOR THE ELF KING!" The Elf Warrior screamed while running into the Kitchen.
"AHGHGHGHGHGH! SOMEONE HELP!"
"That sounds like the Grand Wizard! He needs our help!" A concerned Butters screamed as he and the others made their way to the Kitchen as they spotted a heavily bruised and seemingly bleeding Cartman being gangbanged by a group of Elf Warriors. "Oh no! The Grand Wizard is in trouble! We have to help him!"
"Yes, but first." Jessie says while walking over to the Fridge as he opened it and beamed at the sight of a Power Potion and a (Large) Mana Potion as he pocketed them both.
"Uh, Jessie? Shouldn't we help the Grand Wizard?" A bewildered Butters asked as Jessie waved him off carelessly.
"Yeah, yeah, in a minute." Jessie says while walking over to the cupboards as he opened them and perked up at the sight of a (Small) Health Potion and a Level 4 Arrow Patch, which will increase his ranged attacks to have a 5% more damage as he was quick to switch out his Level 3 Cheerleader's Patch with the Arrow Patch for his gloves.
"Jessie?" Butters asked as Jessie finished looting the Kitchen and made his way over to his Friends as he smiled brightly.
"Alright, let's go."
"Are you sure that your not forgetting anything?" Craig asked while gesturing at Cartman, who was getting beat up by Four Warrior Elves, as Jessie turned to him with a thoughtful hum.
"Hmmm...nope."
"Jessie!" A glaring Prince Karen screamed with an angry pout as Jessie lets out a loud, exaggerated groan.
"Fine, fine, let's rescue the Grand Lordass. Craig? Follow my lead. Prince Karen? Do your thing." Jessie instructed as everyone nodded and Prince Karen activated his Excelsior Move as he held up his toy sword, and it lets out a huge flash of bright white light that blinded the surprised Elven Guards as, while they were distracted, Jessie pulled out his metal bat and baseball as Craig nodded and pulled out his shurikens as the blue-haired boy threw up his baseball and proceeds to whack it as the baseball flew over to collide against the heads of Two Elf Guards, knocking them out as a huffing Craig then tossed his shurikens forward and they flew over to embed themselves onto the Two Elf Guards' heads, 'killing' them as they crashed down onto the ground. "Alright, Butters, go and heal him."
"Good." A smiling Butters says as he went over to pat Cartman's shoulder, healing him enough to be somewhat stable as his injuries were too much even for a great healer like Butters. "What happened, Grand Wizard?" Butters asked worriedly as Cartman coughed out blood, and this shocked Jessie as he started feeling guilty for not helping him from the get-go...only for his sympathy to disappear in a heartbeat when Jessie noticed Eric pulling out a packet of ketchup to use it as makeshift blood and covered it across his mouth.
"H-His powers were too strong...the Bard...he's up in one of the rooms...they took Princess Kenny! They took her upstairs!"
"What?!" A worried Prince Karen exclaimed as Jessie gritted his teeth.
"I'm sure that they are planning to rape her! Don't let them rape, Princess Kenny!" Eric screamed before pretending to pass out from his injuries as he crashed down onto the floor.
"We need to help the Princess!" Prince Karen shouted as, while she didn't know what 'rape' was, he knew that his Older Sister must be in some type of trouble.
"And we will, but Prince Karen? I need you and Paladin Butters to stay here and look after the Grand Wizard while Feldspar and I go and rescue Princess Kenny." Jessie says with a glare as he wanted Butters to stay behind to continue healing Cartman and wanted Prince Karen to stay behind to both protect him and...well...judging by how serious the boys are playing, Jessie was kind of worried that they are raping Kenny and didn't want someone as young as Karen to see that shit.
"Understood. Go and save the Princess, Douchebag."
"Butters, my name is not fucking Douchebag!" Jessie snapped before calming down as he and Craig made their way out of the Kitchen as they spotted Jimmy walking up the stairs leading to the second floor.
"You will never stop me from contacting the King of Elves, New Kid!" Jimmy screamed while climbing upstairs as Jessie and the others were about to follow him, but then-
"HEY! OPEN THE DOOR!" Tweek screamed while jumping up and down through the window, getting the Duo's attention as Jessie slowly looked over to see a lamp and a propane tank conveniently placed in front of the door.
"Feldspar!" Jessie screamed while pointing forward as Craig got his secret message and nodded as he pulled out a shuriken and tossed it forward as it flew over to collide against the lamp, breaking it as a smiling Jessie's face scrunches up a bit and takes a deep breath through his anus as his stomach rumbled a bit.
"Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to the broken lamp, and a big explosion occurred that completely destroyed the door as Tweek and Tolkien rushed into the living room.
"For the KKK!" Tolkien screamed while raising his hand...goddammit, South Park, LOL.
"Token! Go and help heal Eric! He's in the Kitchen with Butters and Prince Karen! Tweek, help us take out save Princess Kenny from getting raped!" Jessie ordered as everyone nodded.
"Good thing that my medical skills are plus 4!" Tolkien screamed while running into the Kitchen to help out Cartman, leaving behind the others as Jessie, Craig, and Tweek ran upstairs as the distracted blue-haired boy went over to open up a drawer and was able to find the keys to Jimmy's Garage, 1.00 Dollar, a (Large) Health Potion, and a Level 3 Sparkly Heart Sticker Patch, which will enable him to gain 1 PP on Perfect attack.
Smiling to himself, Jessie was quick to take out his Lightning Sticker on his Club of Smitting and equipped the Level 3 Sparkly Heart Sticker Patch as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out, and proceeds to pull out his phone as the blue-haired boy was happy to see that he had leveled up to Level 5 and was quick to press onto the Abilities Tap as Jessie decide to level up his Roshambo Move to Level 3, which will now allow him to terrify all nearby enemies upon a perfect success as it will also cause all of them to lower their defenses. After upgrading one of his moves, Jessie was then surprised that he had unlocked a new move called 'Bull Rush', which is him basically charging headfirst into an enemy and being able to damage their armor as well as remove shields and lower their defenses as Jessie realized that he can't upgrade this move yet and decided to simply put away his phone.
"MMMMMM! MM'MM MMMMM MMMMM! MMMM MMMMM! (HELP! I'M BEING RAPED! HELP ME!)," Princess Kenny's voice rang out from one of the rooms, causing everyone to flinch in alarm and worry as a determined Jessie ran over to try and open it but failed as he clicked his teeth angrily.
"The door is locked!"
"Don't worry, I got this." Craig says while walking over to use his Thief Magic to pick the lock as he opened it and the Trio walked in as they spotted a tied-up Princess Kenny lying on the bed with an Elf Warrior jumping up and down on it as Tweek looked horrified, Craig cringed and looked away somberly as Jessie sighs in relief.
"Oh, thank god, they didn't actually rape her."
"What do you mean?! They are raping her right now! We have to help her!" A panicking Tweek screamed as Jessie rolled his eyes but nodded as he then bends down and cups his hands together as Tweek walked over to plant his feet on top of his hands, and a grunting Jessie used his superhuman strength to toss him forward as Tweek the Barbarian twirled around in mid-air and lets out a loud battle cry as he crashed down onto the bed, breaking it and sends the Elf Warrior flying away as he crashed against a wall and got knocked out as he falls down onto the ground.
"Yo, Princess, you aight?" Jessie asked while walking over to the Princess as he grabs onto the ropes and uses his Super Strength to rip them apart, freeing Kenny as she proceeds to hug him and cried into his chest.
"Mmmm, mmm mmm mmmm! Mmmmm mmmm mmm mmmm, mmmmm! Mmm mmmm mmm mm mmm mmm! Mmmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmmmmmm! Mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mm mmmmm! (Oh, it was awful! They took my virginity, Jessie! I wanted you to do that! Now, I'm going to get pregnant! I'm not ready to be a Mama!)," Princess Kenny cried as an awkward Jessie rubbed her back to try and comfort her.
"Uh, there, there. Don't worry. I'm sure the Grand Wizard can use his magic to not make you pregnant anymore."
"M-Mmm mmmm mmm? (Y-You think so?)," A sniffling Kenny asked while separating from him as Jessie nodded.
"Yes."
"M-Mmm mmm mmmm mmmm m-mmmm mmmm mmmm, mmm mmm m-mmmm mmm mmm mmm? (I-If the Grand W-Wizard isn't able to t-take out my baby, would you h-help me raise it?),"
"...Yeah, sure, whatever." Jessie says while rolling his eyes as Kenny beamed.
"Mmm, mmm mmmm, mmm mmm! (Oh, thank you, my hero!)," A happy Princess Kenny exclaimed while grabbing onto the front of Jessie's shirt as, much to his shock, the Princess pulled him into a kiss.
"Mmmm! Get off of me!" An angered Jessie screamed while pushing Princess Kenny away from him as he spits a bunch of times and wiped his mouth. "Fucking gross, man! I told you to stop being so extra!" Jessie screamed with a glare while turning around to leave the room as Princess Kenny giggled girlishly and turned to the boys.
"Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm (He likes to play hard, but I know that he likes me)," Princess Kenny says confidently while jumping out of the bed as he made his way out of the room.
"...Am I the only one that thought that was hot?"
"Oh, I was thinking that too." Tweek says as Craig nodded before they held hands as they walked out of the room and meet up with the others as Jessie could be seen chugging some mouthwash and giving stink eyes to Princess Kenny, who waved at him seductively just as Cartman and the others appeared as they made their way upstairs.
"Kenny!" A happy Prince Karen screamed while running over to hug Princess Kenny as Craig went over to try and pick the lock on Jimmy's Bedroom Door.
"Princess Kenny! How badly did they ra-,"
"Mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmmm mmmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm (They hurt me, but don't worry, Jessie promised to look after me)," Princess Kenny interrupted, not wanting her Little Brother to hear them talk about rape as Eric turned to Jessie.
"That's very noble of you, Sir Douchebag, and also very stupid."
"Whatever, just open the door so that we can get the Stick of fucking Truth." An irritated Jessie says as Eric nodded and turned to Craig.
"Feldspar, what's the hold up?"
"I can't get through! The door appears to be enchanted, so I can't turn the knob." Craig says as he moved away and allowed Cartman to walk over to try and twist it open...and grew annoyed as he started whacking the door with his wooden staff.
"HEY! YOU CAN'T HOLD THE DOORKNOB, BARD! THAT'S CHEATING, YOU CRIPPLED DOUCHE!"
"YEAH, I CAN, FATASS! I HAVE THE STICK OF TRUTH, WHICH MEANS THAT I CONTROL THE UNIVERSE, AND I SAY THAT HOLDING THE DOORKNOB IS OKAY!" Jimmy screamed from the inside of his room as, Jessie didn't know how, but he could tell that Jimmy had a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Grrr, can he do that?!" Cartman asked as Tolkien shrugged.
"He has the Stick of Truth, dude. He can do whatever he wants."
"Dammit! There's got to be another way into this room!"
"Leave it to me, my lord." Jessie says while cracking his knuckles as he made his way over to the door and grabbed the doorknob as, after making sure that the Boys weren't looking, the blue-haired boy closed his eyes in concentration, and his hands lit up with blue electricity, electrocuting the doorknob as a yelping Jimmy got shocked and was forced to let go of the doorknob as he took a couple of steps back and gasped in shock as he saw the New Kid kicking the door open.
"Good job, Sir Douchebag." Cartman complimented as Jessie sighs heavily but didn't say anything as he and the others walked into the room. "You have nowhere to run, Bard! Give us the Stick of Truth!" Eric ordered as Jimmy snorted and laughed mockingly.
"Take it from me if you can, W-Wizard King! 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"You are no match for a Grand Wizard!"
"The stick belongs to us! And I shall use every bardic power in my class to keep it from you!"
"Fine, you want to throw down, brah? Kick his ass, Douchebag."
"I fucking knew it." Jessie says with a facepalm as he groaned.
"His name is Douchebag? I thought it was Jessie." A bewildered Jimmy asked as Jessie sighs heavily and shakes his head.
"No, my name is Jessie. Fatass over here just calls me Douchebag because he's a prick."
"Don't call me a prick, Sir Douchebag! As your King, I order you to beat up Jimmy!" Cartman ordered to Jessie, who rolled his eyes as he scoffed.
"Fine, fine. Butters, you still have that ham that I gave you?"
"Oh, yeah, here it is." Butters says while pulling out the ham from earlier as he tossed it over to Jessie, who snatched it in mid-air as the blue-haired boy started swinging it around rapidly with a fierce glare on his face.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" Jessie screamed into the heavens while holding up the ham into the air as a bolt of lightning hits it, and the blue-haired boy proceeds to quickly come up with a grand and complicated plan to defeat a Level 10 Bard...by simply tossing the ham over to collide against Jimmy, knocking him out and sending him crashing down onto the ground with a surprised/pained grunt as Jimmy accidentally drops the Stick of Truth. "I got the stick, yo." Jessie says while walking over to bend down and grab the Stick of Truth as he then handed it over to Cartman, who grinned widely as he held it up into the air victoriously.
"The stick is ours!" Cartman exclaimed as everyone cheered and proceeded to turn around to walk away while Jessie stayed behind a bit to loot Jimmy's Room as he was able to find 5.00 Dollars, 35 Cents, three Mana Potions, two (Large and Small) Health Potions, and a Roidrat Chinpokomon Doll as the blue-haired boy also figured out that Jimmy's Crutches if Weakness is Level Four, but decided to not steal it, mostly because it's incredibly fucked up to steal Jimmy's crutches after beating him up as Jessie then walked out of the room.
"...the Stick of Truth is finally back where it belongs!" The Grand Wizard exclaimed as we fast forward to nighttime and we see Jessie and the others residing back at the Kingdom of Kupa Keep as Eric went over to place the Stick of Truth back on its pedestal in his Private Tent before walking out of it as he then turned to his subjects. "Great job, Men, especially you, Sir Douchebag. For your heroic deeds and valiant self-sacrifice at the Great Battle of the Giggling Donkey, I hereby make you an official member of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep. Welcome to the KKK." Cartman says while spreading out his arms as everyone clapped excitedly for Sir Douchebag.
"Thanks, but can you please not phrase it that way." A nervous Jessie says with a sweatdrop as Ms. Cartman suddenly opened the backyard door and poked her head out.
"It's getting late, hun. The Grand Wizard has to go night night."
"Yeah, Cartman, the Grand Wizard has to go night night." Jessie says as he and the others snickered, much to Eric's embarrassment as he turned to glare at his Mother in annoyance.
"Okay, Mom, thanks for pointing out bedtime for everyone."
"It's a School Night, Hon. You and your little Druid Friends need to-,"
"WE'RE NOT DRUIDS, MOM! WE'RE FUCKING WARRIORS AND WIZARDS!" An enraged Cartman screamed with Jessie being absolutely shocked by what he said as the blue-haired boy knows that if he yelled at his Mom like that, she will castrate him.
"Oh, that's it! You're going to bed!" A glaring Ms. Cartman yelled while walking over to grab onto her Son's arm and started dragging him into their home. "The rest of you better go home too." Ms. Cartman says to Jessie and the boys, who nodded respectfully as they took turns using the Changing Tent to change back into their regular outfits with Jessie taking off his Silver Helmet, long blue cape, KKK Armor, and Gloves as he washed away the black stripes on his face, but kept his 3D Glasses on as he puts on his normal attire and clutched his Club of Smitting tightly as the blue-haired boy started making his way out of Cartman's Backyard.
And done! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I can't wait to write the next one.
Anyway, as always, I will catch you all later.
