Hey, guys! Welcome to the next chapter of 'South Park: The Journey of Jessie Gladstone in The Stick of Truth!'. I hope that you guys will enjoy the chapter...anyway, I don't own anything except for my OCs.
NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY!
"Zzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzz...zzzzz...zzzzzz...zzzzzzzz" Jessie snored loudly as we cue to next morning, and we see the blue-haired boy sleeping soundly in his bed, but when the morning sunshine hits his face, it caused him to stir awake and moan as Jessie opened his eyes and slowly sat up as he rubbed his eyes and looked around tiredly as the superpowered boy glanced back at his phone and reached over to grab it as Jessie mindlessly checked his Facebook Page and smiled a bit as he saw a couple of posts made by three people and one of them was from his Mom saying, 'Hey, sweetie, Mommy saw on your Facebook Page that your gaining lots of new friends, so I decided to friend you on Facebook! This way you will become super popular!' and, much to Jessie's dismay and annoyance, Cartman replied, 'Yeah, New Kid, having your Mom as a friend on Facebook is definitely a way to become super popular...pfffftt, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'.
Eye twitching angrily and being close to crushing his phone in his anger, Jessie then took a deep breath and decided to check the other posts as he saw that one of them was Randy saying, 'Thanks again for getting me out of there, Jessie. I already thanked Heidi about it, and she said, 'You're welcome'. I would've saved myself, but I'm just too polite'. Rolling his eyes a bit, Jessie replied, 'You're welcome, Randy', and, when Randy asked, 'Why haven't you called me "Mr. Marsh" as Heidi does?', Jessie replied, 'Dude, I saw you half-naked. We're way past formatilites', and Randy replied, 'Good point'.
Shaking his head, Jessie then checked the other post, which was Butters saying, 'Hey, Douchebag. Thanks for playing with us yesterday. It was really fun. Hope you'll play with us again today', and a smiling yet tad annoyed Jessie replied, 'Don't worry, I will play with you guys again after school, but once again, my name is NOT fucking Douchebag'. Groaning lightly, Jessie then checked his Abilities Section and realized that he had leveled up yesterday as he was quick to level up his Bull Rush Move to Level 6, which increased the damage of his technique.
"Allright, new day, a new me. I might as well get ready for my first day of school, again, and..." Jessie says before trailing off as he glanced down at his phone, and it was only now that he noticed that it was 9:30 A.M. "...OH, FUCK! I'M LATE FOR MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!" Jessie screamed panickedly while flying out of his bed as he was quick to take off his Level 5 Tinfoil Hat and Level 4 Alien Suit and Gloves as a naked Jessie landed on the ground and practically zoomed out of his room to reach into the bathroom as he took a quick shower and brushed his teeth as the blue-haired boy frantically put on his normal clothes before taking flight once more as Jessie flew downstairs and made his way into the Kitchen as he spotted his Mother cleaning the dishes while his Father was reading a newspaper on the Dinning Table.
"Good morning, sweetie." Kelly says while turning to give her only child a warm smile as Chris lowered his newspaper to give his son a stern glare.
"Son, what did we say about flying in the house?" Chris asked sharply as Jessie looks down and flinched as he floated down to land on the ground.
"Sorry, Dad, but we have an emergency here! I'm late for school!" A panicking Jessie screamed as his Parents shared a look and snorted as they laughed a bit. "Why are you two laughing?! Weren't you two going to enroll me in school today!?"
"I'm not surprised to hear that you didn't hear because you were sleeping, but school has been canceled for the next few days." Kelly says sweetly as Jessie blinked at her in surprise.
"Wait, really? Not that I'm complaining, but why?" Jessie asked curiously.
"It's all over the news, Son. Go and take a look." Chris says as Jessie nodded and turned around to leave as he made his way over to the Living Room and turned on the TV as it showed the News Channel with a man sitting behind a desk as there was an image of a burning field placed beside him.
"...and that a large earthquake and several fires in the South Park area last night woke many residents from their sleep. Here with a report is a little person in a bikini." The News Reporter says as the screen then changed and showed the image of a midget wearing a pink bikini standing outside of a parking lot from where a huge crowd of people could be seen gathered around as they were standing in front of the Alien Spaceship from last night with some kind of Military Camp being placed around it.
"Oh, shit! The Military is here!" A terrified Jessie screamed while trembling a bit as he knew that the Alien Spaceship would attract some attention, but Jessie didn't know that the U.S. Government would intervene so soon before he could try to get rid of the Spaceship.
"Tom, Government Workers here are assuring everyone nothing out of the ordinary has happened. They claim that the only reason huge tents have gone up to cover this area is to mask the construction of a new Taco Bell, which will open sometime later this month." The Midget in the Bikini said as Jessie paused a bit in his panic to blink several times in pure disbelief.
"What? Are they serious? That's the best excuse they can come up with? There's no way that people would believe that."
"Thanks, I do love me some Taco Bell." The News Anchor named Tom said with the image of the burning field changing into a Taco Bell Logo as Jessie's jaws dropped in shock, unable to believe that people believe this BS as he facepalmed. "The Mayor of South Park states that last night's tremors and fires are under control and, hopefully, schools and businesses can open again soon." Tom says before Jessie went over to shut off the TV as he looks away in thought and started taking deep breaths as the blue-haired boy paces around.
"Okay, Jessie, calm yourself down. The Governtment aren't here for you and your family. They are here for that Alien Spaceship. There's nothing to fear...but just in case, I should probably go and investigate that Alien Spaceship to find out what's really going on. I might need a disguise, though. I can't have the Governtment recognize me, or else my Family and I will be forced to move again." Jessie says to himself with a nod while turning around as he was about to go upstairs to put on a disguise but stopped as someone began knocking on his door loudly. "Seriously? Who will be knocking on the door so early?" Jessie says while walking over to his door just as the knocking grows louder as it sounds like someone was slamming something heavy against it. "JESUSCHRIST, I'M COMING!" An annoyed Jessie screamed while going over to open the door as he was surprised to see Cartman standing in front of him.
"Arghh! My god! It's horrible! They came out of nowhere! There was a huge earthquake, and then, and then there was burning in my backyard!" Cartman screamed while running into Jessie's house as the blue-haired boy gave him an irritated look.
"Oh, hey, good morning, Eric. How are you? 'I'm good, Jessie. How are you this fine morning? Also may I come in?'. Sure, pal, go right ahead." Jessie says while faking Cartman's voice as he rolled his eyes and turned to the Grand Wizard, who turned to glare at him as he pointed at Jessie.
"First off, that was a horrible impression of me. I would never call you by your real name. Second, you don't understand the big problem here." Cartman says as Jessie sighs heavily and nodded.
"Yeah, I know, the Governtment showed up to try and cover up an Alien Spaces-,"
"THE ELVES TOOK THE STICK LAST NIGHT!"
"WHAT!?" A shocked, enraged Jessie exclaimed as Eric nodded with a frown. "THEY CAN'T DO THAT!" A pissed-off Jessie screamed as, after shortly joining the game, Butters had explained to him that neither the Humans nor the Elves can take the Stick of Truth before bedtime, and anyone who does that is a major pussy.
"I KNOW! IT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE THAT IS TOTALLY CHEATING!" Cartman shouted as a glaring Jessie nodded in agreement, being so angry by what the Elves did that he forget all about the Alien Spaceship.
"We need to do something about this!"
"Yeah, we will! It's why I came here to get your help, Douchebag, because we have to lay waste to those dirty little liars entire base!" Cartman screamed before calming down as he took deep breaths and turned to stare into Jessie's eyes. "You have some incredible ability to make friends quickly, Sir Douchebag. I'm sending you on a quest to go out into the lands of Zaron and recruit a whole other FACTION to Kupa Keep. Find the Goth Kids and give them this letter." Eric says while handing him a letter as he then gave him a serious glare. "Get them to join our Kingdom, and we shall lay waste to the Drow Elves once and for all! Fucking cheaters!" A still angry Cartman screamed while turning around to leave his home as a huffing Jessie went over to close the door of his home.
"Well, it looks like I have a long day ahead of me. I better put on my Game Clothes." Jessie says while turning around to walk upstairs as he entered his room and went over to his Toy Box as the blue-haired boy pulled out his Level 3 Fighter's Armor and Gloves that his friends had given him yesterday as Jessie refused to wear them since he wanted to wear the KKK Armor, but since he currently had no armor that was close to his level yet, Jessie decided to put on his Level 3 Fighter's Armor and Gloves while also putting on his silver helmet, 3D Glasses, and long blue cape. "Alright, now I'm dressed." Jessie says with a smile while making his way downstairs as, after having a quick breakfast with his Family, he made his way out of his home and closed the door behind him as Butters appeared and made his way over to him.
"Hey, Douchebag, I was just coming over to see if you wanted to come and play with us again." Butters says as an annoyed Jessie opened his mouth to correct him but sighs heavily as he shakes his head.
"Yeah, sure, let's go and play. The Grand Wizard had given me a mission to go and recruit the Goth Kids. Do you know where they are?" Jessie asked as a smiling Butters nodded.
"Yep, it's pretty early in the morning, but they usually like hanging out at the back of the school to smoke."
"Gotcha, but before I go, let's head over to Kupa Keep. I need a new weapon to use." Jessie says as Butters nods, and the Duo started walking down the street as they made their way past Butters House with Jessie doing a double take at the sight of various blown-up parts of the Alien Spaceship scattered across the ground and spotted a blonde-haired teenage girl standing in Butter's Front Yard.
The Mysterious person is really a 20-year-old Girl with bright green eyes, long blonde hair that reaches down to her waist as she has two long bangs that reached down to her breasts, a small nose, a sharp chin, DD-Cup Breasts, Caucasian Skin, a slender hourglass build, a large thick ass, and her outfit consists of a long-sleeved cream-colored jacket with a short-sleeved white shirt underneath, a brown belt with a golden belt buckle, long blue jeans, and brown boots. Her name is Marjorine, Butters Older Sister.
"Hey, Butters." Marjorine says with a smile while turning to the boys as Butters waves at her.
"Hey, Marjorine."
"Are you going to play that role-playing game with your friends today?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Cool, good luck, Little Dude." Marjorine says before going back to try and remove the broken part of the Alien Spaceship from her lawn as Butters continued walking with a shocked Jessie following after him as he looked back and forth at him and the teenage girl.
"Uh, Butters, who was that?"
"Hmm?" A curious Butters while turning his head as he spotted Jessie pointing back at Marjorine. "Oh, that's my Older Sister. Her name is Marjorine."
"A sister? I didn't knew you had a sister. I didn't see her yesterday." Jessie says, referring to the time when Butters took him into his house as the blonde-haired boy perked up.
"Oh, yeah, she wasn't home yesterday. Marjorine was at work." Butters explained as Jessie nodded in understatement just as his phone's notification sound rang out as he pulled out his phone and saw that Randy posted a message saying, 'Hey, I tried to send you a link to a clip of a rabbit playing with a cat, but it's not working. It's pretty cute, though, You should look it up later' as Jessie replied, 'Sure, I will' before putting away his phone as the Duo arrived at Cartman's House and walked inside as they greeted Liane and walked into the Kingdom of Kupa Keep as Jessie and Butters looked around and spotted Craig standing near the Weapon Stand as Jessie made his way over to him.
"Hey, Craig, how are you this morning?" Jessie asked as Craig shrugs.
"Pretty good...although my ass hurts for some weird reason because a certain SOMEONE was too eager last night." Craig says while turning to give Tweek a glare as the blonde-haired boy stopped punching the dummies to give his boyfriend a confused look.
"Uh huh." Jessie says with a sweatdrop, remembering that Craig was probed last night as he wasn't willing to tell him the truth since he didn't want to explain how he escaped the Alien Spaceship. "Oh, shit, the Alien Spaceship. I forgot about it. I better go and investigate it after I recruit the Goth Kids." Jessie thought to himself with a nod as he then turned back to Craig. "Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought Scott was the one who watched over to the weapons?"
"Oh, the Grand Wizard said that I'm in charge of the shop now because I sound like Clyde...I don't sound like Clyde, right?"
"...No..." Jessie lied horribly while shifting his eyes around as Craig rolled his eyes but stepped aside to allow him to browse his wares as Jessie looked around and perked up at the sight of a Level 6 Fatbeard's Blade, which cost 12.00 Dollars as he handed Craig the money and grabbed onto his new weapon as Jessie then spotted a Level 6 Crossed Swords Patch, which will allow him to gain 1 PP when he blocks an attack as it cost 5.00 Dollars and Jessie also bought it as he was quick to equip it onto his new sword.
"Aliright, I am now armed. Let's go, Butters." Jessie says to Butters, who nodded as the Duo made their way out of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep and walked out of Cartman's House as Jessie and Butters started walking down the sidewalk and once again greeted Marjorine with the blue-haired boy checking out her ass, much to the blonde-haired boy's irritation but he didn't voice it as they made their way out of the neighborhood and walked past the South Park Welcome Sign as they arrived at the next neighborhood and appeared near Jimmy's House as an idea popped into Jessie's head.
"Wait, hold on, Butters. I will be right back." Jessie says while walking over to Jimmy's Garage as he used his stolen garage key to open it up and saw a big treasure chest inside as, after breaking the lock with his Super Strength, Jessie peered in and spotted 2.00 Dollars, a Level 2 Small Shield Sticker Patch, a Mana Potion, and a Level 7 Jesters Cap as the blue-haired pocketed them all before coming out of the garage as the boys continued walking down the street and eventually arrived at a cyan-colored house as, of course, Jessie went over to start looting the place, but when he went over to open the door, the superpowered boy was horrified to see a naked grown man masturbating to porn on his living room tv as, when he noticed that Jessie walked into his room, he screamed and went over to push him out of his house and slammed the door onto his face.
"I...will...forever...be...traumatized...because of that." A haunted Jessie says with a shiver while shaking his head and, after mentally reminding himself to bleach his mind later, Jessie glanced up and spotted a bag placed inside of one of the rooms in the home as he wondered how will he get up there...but then perked up as he remembered something. "Hey, Butters? Look over there! A double rainbow!"
"What does it mean?!" Butters says, referencing a very old meme as he turned around to stare up at the sky, being distracted long enough for Jessie to warp himself up into the room above with a flash of blue lightning as he went over to open the bag and peered in as he spotted a (Large) Power Potion, 3.00 Dollars, a Revive Potion, and a Level 7 Amazon Patch inside as Jessie pocketed them all before swiftly warping himself outside again as a confused Butters turned to him. "Hey, there are no double rainbows."
"Oh, sorry, must've been my imagination." Jessie lied due to not wanting to tell anyone how or why he can teleport now since he REALLY didn't want to remember last night's traumatizing anal probing...his ass still feels sore. "Anyway, let's go and recruit the Goth Kids." Jessie says while walking over to a nearby Fast Travel Flag as he honked it, and a laughing Timmy appeared as Jessie and Butters boarded his wagon as Timmy was quick to drive them towards the South Park Elementary School and dropped them off as he then drove off. "Lead the way, Butters." Jessie says as Butters nodded and lead his friend over to the back of the school as they saw four kids resting on the ground, smoking some cigarettes and listening to lame music.
One of the Kids is a 10-year-old Asian-Cacuasian Male with black eyes that have black eyeliner underneath them, long curly black hair that is parted on the right, big ears with a gold cross earring hanging on his left ear, a large nose, a sharp chin, Pale Skin, a tall slim build, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved black jacket with a white dress shirt underneath, long black pants, and tall black boots as he also carried around a brown stiff cane. His name is Michael, the Leader of the Goth Kids.
The Second Kid is a 10-year-old Girl with black eyes that have mascara on her eyelashes and round loops on the sides of her eyes, medium-length spikey straight black hair that is parted in the center, a small nose, purple lipstick, a fat double chin, black pointed nails, Pale Skin, an overweight build with a slanted posture to hide her stomach, and her outfit consists of a black dress with a sheer illusion neckline and bat wing-like edges, a necklace with the cross on it, fingerless black gloves, black socks, and black Mary-Jane shoes. Her name is Henrietta Biggle.
The Third Kid is a 10-year-old Boy with black eyes that have black eyeliner underneath, black teased hair that is parted on the right and shaved around the bottom half and is dyed red near the roots on top as well as a long fringe, a small nose, Pale Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of an untucked dark gray dress shirt with a silver bolo tie wrapped around his neck as it has a red jewel in the center, black pants, and purple buckled winklepickers. His name is Pete Thelman.
The Fourth Kid is a 5-year-old Boy with black eyes as he has black eyeliner underneath, short soft black hair with a long side-swept fringe parted to the right, a small nose, dark purple lipstick, Pale Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved black trench coat, black pants, and black shoes. His name is Georgie 'Firkle' Smith.
"Sup." Jessie stated casually while walking up to the Goth Kids with Butters standing in the background awkwardly as Michael and the others turned to stare at the New Kid suspiciously.
"Who's that?" Pete asked curiously as Henrietta shrugged.
"I think it's that new kid that people are talking about."
"Yeah, I'm him. My name's Jessie Gladstone. Nice to meet you all." Jessie says with a wave as Michael glared at him.
"Beat it, Gladstone. This area is strictly for Goth Kids."
"Well, I don't see your fucking name on it." Jessie says with a slightly irritated tone before shaking his head as he pulled out a letter. "Anyway, I came here to ask you all if you can join our game or not." Jessie says while handing Pete the letter as he read it briefly before handing it to Henriette, who also read it as she then handed it over to Michael.
"What's this? Join the Kingdom of Kupa Keep to battle the wicked Elves. All recruits are welcome." Michael says while reading from the letter as he then scoffed and rolled his eyes as he crumbled up the letter. "Sorry, Frodo, but we don't play Dungeons and Douchebags." Michael says while tossing the letter over in Jessie's general direction as he glared at them.
"You could've just say 'No', you little-,"
"Jessie, calm down. We still need them to defeat the Elves and reclaim the Stick of Truth." Butters pointed out in the background as Firkle turned to Michael.
"Awww, come on, I say we hear him out. We never do anything, so what would be the harm in playing with them?"
"Hmmm, well, his hair is sick, but look at his clothes. He looks like a Conformist."
"Shittalk about my hair, I fucking dare-Wait, hold on, you guys...actually like my hair?" A surprised Jessie asked as the Goths nodded.
"Yeah, clearly you dyed your hair blue to spite your parents about them oppresing you." Henrietta says with a knowing tone.
"...Yeah, sure, that is what happened." Jessie says with half-lid blank eyes, not caring enough to say that his hair isn't dyed as Pete turned to him.
"Tell you what, New Kid. You already got the cool hair. All you are missing is to get the right clothes, get some ciggarates, and coffee, and then you would be able to talk with us." Pete says as Michael nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, if you wanna prove you aren't a conformist, then you need to look exactly like we do. Then MAYBE we'll consider hanging out with you."
"Oh, so all of you are hyprocritic Emos? Got it." Jessie thought to himself while rolling his eyes as he placed his hand on his hips. "So, where am I going to get all of those stuff anyway? I'm pretty sure that most stores won't allow 10-year-olds to buy ciggarates."
"Well, there's this cool old guy that sells clothes on the other side of town, near the U-STOR-IT Facility." Pete says while flipping his hair around.
"You can get the coffee at Tweek's Coffee Shop." Firkle added in.
"If you're looking for smokes, the Sixth Graders are always hanging up near Jimbo's Guns." Michael explained as Jessie nodded before turning around to walk out of the back of the school with Butters as they arrived at the front of their school.
"So, what do you want to do now, Jessie?" Butters asked as his Friend turned to him.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to do some exploring."
"Really? I figured that you want to do the quest right away." A surprised Butters says as Jessie shrugged.
"Usually, yeah, but yesterday I was barely able to explore South Park since I was busy doing quests, so this time, I will go around and explore the city that I moved in to. Besides, we have plenty of time to do the quest today, so we might as well have some fun before we do our main quest." Jessie explains as Butters nodded and watched on as his Friend turns around to walk away and followed after him as the Duo made their way out of the school and arrived at Stark's Pound as Jessie looked around and perked up as he spotted a giant UFO Ship submerged deep underneath the lake, but realized that the only way to get there was by teleporting as Jessie then turned to Butters. "Hey, man, I suddenly have to take a huge whiz. Keep a look out for me."
"Kay, kay." A smiling Butters says while turning around to keep a look out for his buddy as Jessie walked over to the bushes and ducks down as he then closed his eyes in concentration and felt his butt vibrate a bit as an electrical current travel up his spine and, suddenly, Jessie warped over to appear inside of the UFO Ship with a flash of blue lighting.
"Alright, better make this quick." Jessie says while looking around as he spotted a familiar purple metal container in front of him and walked forward to open it up as the blue-haired boy spotted a Cosmonewt Chinpokomon, 2.00 Space Cash, and a Level 7 Circuit Patch as Jessie was a bit disappointed that he can't use the patch since he was Level 6, but pocketed all of the objects anyway as Jessie then warped himself back at the bushes. "I'm done, Butters." Jessie says while walking out of the bushes as Butters turns to nod at him, and the blue-haired boy walked forward as he was able to find a small green bag and went over to open it as Jessie found a Power Potion, a (Small) Health Potion, Generic Sunglasses, and Untidy Wig as he pocketed them all and was about to leave, but stopped as he saw a sign nearby with the name 'Al Gore's Manbearbig Tracking Sign' written on it.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot that I was supposed to help out Al Gore with that shit." Jessie thought to himself with a shrug as he went over to pull out another one of Al Gore's Tranquilers and placed it on the sign as the blue-haired boy then continued walking forward and was able to spot a small bag placed near a tree as Jessie went over to open it and was able to find a Side Bow Wig, Sunshine Sparkle Stickers, a Toy Horse, and 42 Cents as he pocketed them all. "Alright, I better go and..." Jessie thought to himself with a smile but then paused a bit as he spotted a small figure hiding behind a tree, and the curious boy went over to peek at the tree as Jessie was surprised to see one of the Kindergarteners, named Jenny, hiding behind it.
"This place is dark and scary. What if you never found me?" Jenny asked fearfully while turning around to leave as a stunned Jessie turned to Butters for an explanation.
"The Kindergarteners take their game of Hide and Seek seriously. I heard that they were even willing to hide in their hiding places for a month or so."
"Oh, damn, I better go and find them all then." Jessie says with a frown, not wanting the Kids to hide out for that long of a period of time as his phone's notification sound rang out, and Jessie pulled out his phone to see that Randy had posted a message saying, 'Hey, if 20 people like this post, some site said I'll win a free Ipad!' as a dubious Jessie doesn't believe this is true, but reluctantly like the post anyway as he and Butters then walked out of Stark's Pound and arrived back at the School as the Duo walked past it and appeared at the South Park Community Center as Jessie was surprised to see a Vamporko Chinpokomon lying in the middle of the Basketball Court. "Ooh, another Chinpokomon Doll. I got to have it." Jessie thought to himself in determination as he glanced over at Butters, who was distracted by a butterfly as, before he could notice, Jessie swiftly warped himself over to the basketball court and bends down to grab the Vamporko Chinpokomon as the blue-haired boy then swiftly warped himself back over to Butters's side before he noticed.
"Heh, nailed it." Jessie says to himself with a smirk as he and Butters made their way deeper into the city and appeared near City Hall as the blue-haired boy spots what seems to be Priest sitting on the bench. "Hello, Father." Jessie says while walking over to the Priest, who eyed him up and down as he sighs heavily and closed up the Bible that he was reading. The man is a 40-year-old Male with black eyes that are slightly spread apart, brown/gray hair that was parted to the left, thin gray eyebrows, a wart on his forehead, a small nose, a fat double chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a black cassock with a white roman collar, a purple stole, a long-sleeved black shirt, long black pants, and black shoes. His name is Father Maxi, a Roman Catholic Priest for the South Park Church.
"Oh, what sad times these are when the nation's youth run around in dungeon clothes playing the game of Satan. Young Man, if you really want power there is only one thing you must do. Find Jesus at the Church."
"I will, Father," Jessie says with a respectful nod as he and Butters then continued walking forward as the blue-haired boy was able to find a Sna-Kat Chinpokomon Doll resting on a tree and was able to snipe it with his bow as the Duo walked into City Hall with Jessie quickly looting the place and was able to find 1.00 Dollar and 20 Cents as well as a monocle and a Strength Potion as the Kids then spotted a Young Woman sitting behind a desk. The Woman is a 35-year-old Female with black eyes, turquoise-blue hair, thin turquoise-blue eyebrows, large ears that have a pair of gold earrings, a small nose, thin lips with red lipstick, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slender build, and her outfit consists of a long-sleeved blue munsell jacket with a white-collard shirt underneath, dark green trousers, and black shoes. Her name is Lacey McDaniels, the mayor of South Park.
"Huh? Who the hell are you, kid?" Mayor McDaniels asked with a raised eyebrow as Jessie waved at her casually.
"Sup, the name's Jessie Gladstone. My family and I just moved into town recently."
"Ah, I see, and your here to tell me something or what?" Mayor McDaniels asked impatiently as Jessie perked up, remembering about the Alien Spaceship as he nodded frantically.
"Yeah, there is. You see, South Park is currently in danger because-,"
"Of the Homeless People. Yeah, I know." Mayor McDaniels interrupted with a knowing tone while sitting up from her desk as Jessie stared at her incredulously.
"What? No, South Park is in trouble because the Government-,"
"All of these Homeless People in South Park are making us look like a cold and heartless town." Mayor McDaniels interrupted yet again while turning around to look out her window as she placed her arms behind her back. "So, it's why I think we need you to go and beat the crap out of all of those bums and vagrants so that they will be forced to leave town, and it'll restore South Park's reputation as a compassionate community."
"Okay, hold on a second, why should I have to-,"
"South Park is counting on you, Gladstone. You gotta get every single one of those bastards, okay? Chop chop." Mayor McDaniels says while clapping her hands as Two security Guards appeared and grabbed onto Jessie and Butters and forced them out of City Hall as they slammed the door into their faces.
"...Are all Adults in South Park this stupid?"
"Yes." Butters stated bluntly as Jessie nodded before the Duo walked down the street as they arrived at the plaza of South Park, and Jessie was able to find a green bag placed in between buildings that contained a Rapper Beard and a Power Potion as he pocketed them both and the Duo then made their way to a building that had a large 'Post Office' sign planted at the top as they went in and Jessie spotted a Girl his age standing near him while texting on her phone.
The Girl is a 10-year-old Female with black eyes, long brown hair that is styled in a side with bangs as it was held back by a dark blue headband, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and her outfit consists of a long-sleeeved plain green shirt, long dark gray pants, and black shoes. Her name is Lola Mimser, a member of the Boys' Fourth Grade Class, a Cheerleader for the South Park Elementary School, and a member of the Popular Girls Clique in the class.
"Hey, Girl-"
"Sorry, I'd love to chat, but you're unpopular." Lola says harshly while not even looking at him as a very pissed-off Jessie was this close to zapping her, but refrains himself since his Parents taught him not to hit a lady unless she hits him first as the blue-haired boy then made his way over to the cupboards and opened them as he was able to find some white dye, 50's glasses, and a (Small) Health Potion inside as he pocketed them all before making his way over to the P.O. Boxes as one of them was opened and Jessie shamelessly opened it to steal a News Office Key, a (Small) Health Potion, and a Speed Potion that were inside.
"I-I don't think its okay to steal from the post office, Jessie."
"Uh-huh." A distracted Jessie says while not paying attention to what Butters said as he made his way over to a small Treasure Chest placed on the ground and opened it up to reveal a (Large) Mana Potion, a (Large) Power Potion, and 3 Dollars and 60 Cents inside as he pocketed them all. "Let's get out of here, Butters." Jessie says as his Friend nervously nodded, and the Duo walked out of the Post Office as they spotted a woman named 'Mrs. Biggle' sitting on the bench, and once she spotted the Kids, Mrs. Biggle smiled at them.
"Oh, you two must be in our little Braddley's class. I know everyone thinks their child is special, but I really think he is."
"Uh huh, good to know." Jessie says awkwardly while not knowing who the hell Braddely was, but was happy to see that she had sent him a friend request and briefly took out his phone to accept it before the Duo continued walking down the street as they arrived at a building that was named 'Tom's Rhinoplasty' and walked inside.
"What are we doing here, Douchebag? I mean, I don't know, I think you have a nice nose. I worry more about your hair if I was you-Ow!" Butters says before yelping in pain as Jessie socked him on the arm two times. "What was that for?!" Butters whined while rubbing his arm as Jessie glared at him.
"That was for insulting my hair. You're lucky that you are my friend, or else I would've broken all of your teeth, and, since you keep forgetting that my name is not Douchebag, from now on, I would keep punching you everytime you call me Douchebag." Jessie says as Butters pouts but nodded while rubbing his arm as Jessie went over to open a drawer and was able to find a Business Office Key, Retro Glam Makeup, and a Bob Wig inside as he pocketed them both before making his way over to the receptionist, who seems to be a Young Woman. The Woman is a 43-year-old Female with black eyes, slightly wavy brown hair, thin brown eyebrows, a small nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slender build, and her outfit consists of a long-sleeved brown sweater with a frilly red collar and cuffs, long dark blue jeans, and black shoes. Her name is Sharon Marsh, Randy's Wife.
"Hello, what could I do for you?" Sharon says with a bored tone before blinking in surprise as she stared down at him. "Wait, hold on, blue-hair? Kid, you won't happen to know Randy Marsh, right?" Sharon asked as Jessie blinked a couple of times.
"Oh, yeah, I do." Jessie says as Sharon beams and clasped her hands together.
"Oh, then you must be Jessie! My husband told all about you! He told me that you and him are Facebook Friends. If you want anything to buy, it's on the house."
"Seriously? Cool, thanks." Jessie says while being handed a brochure as he looked through the selection before him and decided to buy some forehead and cheeks Tribal Blue Facepaint which cost 2.00 Dollars.
"I'll add you to our email list. Sometimes, we do two-for one specials." Sharon says while pulling out her phone as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and was quick to pull out his phone as the blue-haired boy pulled out his phone and saw that Sharon had sent him a friend request as Jessie was quick to accept it and was about to leave, but stopped as he turned to her.
"Uh, when you said that Randy told you everything about me, what did he say exactly?"
"Oh, that you're the New Kid in town named 'Jessie Gladstone', and you helped Randy dealing with some hoodlums trying to steal our car. Although he said that he did all of the work beating them up while you were getting your shit rocked, but he was thankful for the help nonetheless."
"That lying ass motherfucker." Jessie thought to himself angrily as, while he was happy that Randy covered for him, he was pissed off that the older man had made him sound like a pussy that didn't do anything.
"Come on, my lord." Butters says as Jessie sighed heavily but nodded as they made their way out of the building and continued walking down the street as the blue-haired boy spotted a treasure chest placed on the roof of one of the buildings and, once he was sure that Butters was distracted, quickly used his Anal Probe to warp over there to appear in front of the Treasure Chest as Jessie opened it up with his Super Strength and found a Beatnilk Black Mustache, 3 Dollars and 60 Cents, and a Level 6 Squire Gloves. Warping back over to Butters, Jessie then put on his new Level 6 Squire Gloves while equipping his Level 6 Crossed Sword Patch, which will allow him to gain 1 PP when he blocks an attack as the Boys then made their way to enter the South Park Bank and Jessie was about to speak up, but then-
"Okay, this is a stick up!" Butters suddenly screamed threateningly with a startled Jessie turning around to face him in shock and disbelief. "Put all of the money in a bag, or else I'll fucking kill each and every one of you-Oh, hey, Laura, hey, Benny. Just showing the New Kid Around." Butters says, suddenly acting cheerful nice, as he turned to the Bank Manager and his 10-year-old Daughter named Laura.
"Good to see you, Butters. Thanks for checking in." Benny the Bank Manager says with a smile as Butters nodded and turned to Jessie, who was staring at him in stunned shock as he blinked several times.
"Hmmm? Oh, yeah, I usually do this once a week to entertain Benny and sometimes Laura. It's just for fun." Butters says as Jessie blinked at him slowly but nodded as he went over to some metal drawers and opened them up to peer in as the blue-haired boy found a Speed Potion and 1.00 Dollars as Jessie then looked around and spots one of the Kindergarteners named 'Filmore' hiding behind a desk as he went over to him.
"No way! How did you find me?" Filmore asked with a pout before making his way out of the South Park Bank as Jessie and Butters followed after him as the Duo walked forward and arrived at the Marketplace as Jessie looked around and spotted a treasure chest inside in one of the rooms of the building as he perked up and got an idea as he turned to Butters.
"Hey, Man, it's been fun exploring, but I think it's time that we get back to the Main Quest. Why don't you head to Tweek's Coffee Shop? I will be there in a bit." Jessie says as Butters nodded with a smile and turned around to walk away as, once he was gone, Jessie was quick to use his Anal Probe to warp himself over to appear inside one of the room's buildings and made his way over to open the bag as the blue-haired boy and was able to find a Mana Potion, a Power Potion, 1.00 Dollars, and a Level 6 Snowflake Patch as he pocketed them all and was about to warp away, but then-
"Wow, breaking and entering! That was awesome!" A male voice rang out as a surprised Jessie turned around and spotted a Boy his age named 'Douglas' sitting near him.
"Uh...yeah...you won't tell anyone about what you saw, right?"
"Nah, don't worry, that was cool. Besides, I'm no snitch." Douglas says reassuringly as Jessie sighs in relief and nodded while using his Anal Probe to teleport himself out of the building as his phone notification sound rang out and pulled out his phone as the blue-haired boy pulled out his phone and saw that Douglas sent him a friend request as he accepted it and Jessie put away his phone as he then made his way out of the Marketplace and arrived near the South Park Movie Theater as Jessie spotted a Fatdactyle Chinpokomon Doll placed on top of the Movie Ticket Booth with the usual attendant not being anywhere in sight for an odd reason as Jessie raised an eyebrow at that suspiciously...before shrugging as he pulled out his bow and used it to snipe down the Chinpokonon Doll as he went over to grab it.
"Hey, Jessie." Butters says while waving at him as he stood in front of Tweek Coffee Shop, and the blue-haired boy went over to him.
"Sup, Butters, let's go in and get that coffee then." Jessie says as Butters nodded, and the Duo walked into the store as they went over to Mr. Tweek's front counter.
"Welcome to my Coffee Shop. Thanks for helping Tweek out in the backroom yesterday. Would you like to try some coffee? It's fresh, like a sun-dappled cornfield ready for harvest." Mr. Tweek says as Jessie nodded and looked over his selection as he was able to find Tweek Bros. Dark Roast, which cost 1.00 Dollars as the blue-haired boy bought it, and decided to also spend 30.00 Dollars to buy two Speed Potion Ultra. "Thanks, come again." Mr. Tweek says as Jessie nodded and he and Butters then turned around to walk out of the store.
"Alright, Butters, we got the coffee. All that is left are the clothes and ciggarrets. Since we're near that 'cool old guy' that sells clothes, we might as well go to him first before heading over to Jimbo Guns..." Jessie says before trailing off as he and Butters spot Six Elf Warriors surrounding him while wielding weapons and has mean looks on their faces. "...uh...hello..."
"Hey, it's the New Kid!" One of the Elves screamed as he and his buddies walked closer to Jessie and Butters.
"New Kid, the Elf King has requested your presence. You can either come quietly, or you can fight, but I warn you, fighting this fight at this point in the game is a complete waste of time, and you might as well skip it and just come with us."
"Nope, I wanna fight." Jessie says with an eager smirk on his face as the Elves looked surprised and annoyed by this.
"W-What-Are you serious, New Kid?! There's no way that you can win, and fighting will be a complete waste of time. Are you SURE you want to fight?" One of the Elves asked irritably as Jessie nodded.
"Look, look, I get what you all are saying, and if you guys confronted me yesterday, I would've allowed you all to kidnap me and take me to your Elf King, but here's the thing, I haven't had a good battle all morning, and I'm so fucking bored, so here's what we are going to do. I'm going to smash all of your faces and then force you to take me to your King. Sounds good?" Jessie asked with a cocky tone as the Elves all sighed heavily.
"Fine, let's get this over with-,"
"SUCKER PUNCH, BITCH!" Jessie screamed while turning over to deliver a powerful punch across an Elf's face, knocking him out as his unconscious body crashed down onto the floor and the other Elves flinched at this in surprise before getting into their battle positions as our faithful Warriors did the same and Jessie was about to attack, but was stopped by Butters.
"Wait, wait, Jessie, let me have a turn." An excited Butters says as Jessie raised an eyebrow but nodded as he stepped back and watched on as his blonde-haired friend walked forward and activated his Professor Chaos Move as a butterfly appeared in Butter's hand, and he smiled cheerfully before growing a sinister smirk as he chuckled. "Let's see how they like dealing with me!" Butters screamed while grabbing onto his cape as he whirled around, and, much to Jessie's shock, Butters transformed into the Anime Version of his Professor Chaos form as he laughed evilly.
Butters had now put on his Professor Chaos Attire, which was basically him wearing a tinfoil helmet with a red dot on the forehead and it has no top as it shows off his blonde hair, a green hooded cape wrapped around his shoulders as it reaches down to his feet, aluminum shoulder pads connected by a chain that goes across his chest shoulder-to-shoulder, a sleeveless seafoam-colored shirt, tinfoil gloves, green pants, and tinfoil boots, but the crazy thing is that Butters had also transformed into his Anime Professor Chaos Form, which consisted of him becoming a muscular adult with his eyes having no pupils, his blonde hair becoming a blonde mohawk, his green cape being weaved out of titanium, and his boots being replaced by gray bandages.
"HOLY SHIT!" One of the Elves screamed panickedly with him and his friends shaking in their boots as Anime Professor Chaos walked forward with his steps shaking the ground underneath him as he then floated upwards while crossing his arms with his cape blowing in the wind as his body radiated with golden electricity.
"Chaos Blast!" Anime Professor Chaos screamed while cupping his arms together as a huge ball of yellow electricity appeared in between his hands and lets out a loud battle cry as Butters fired a huge yellow energy laser in the shape of lightning as it impacted against all of the Elves, shocking them relentlessly and blowing them back as they crashed down into the ground with their bodies spasming with electricity as they moaned in pain.
"HOLY FUCK! BUTTERS, THAT WAS AWESOME! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" An amazed Jessie asked while running over to Butters, who whirled as he transformed back into his normal form.
"Oh, that's my Third Supermove. I was able to unlock it due to leveling up. I can now transform into my Professor Chaos Form and deliver a random powerful attack."
"Sweet!" Jessie cheered while sharing a high-five with Butters as the moaning and injured Elves got up from the floor while being shocked every five seconds as the blue-haired boy decide to take pity on them and stepped forward.
"Alright, that was fun, but let's end this quick. Take me to your Elf King." Jessie says as the Elves nodded shakily and went over to try and tie him up but stopped as he glared at them. "Hey, just because I'm allowing you guys to kidnap me, it doesn't mean that I will have you guys tie me up. I'm no pussy." Jessie says as the Elves groaned at this loudly, tired of the New Kid's bullshit, but since they didn't want another beating, they went along with it and gestured at him to follow after them as the Elves walked off. "Don't worry, Butters, I will be okay. Just go back to Kupa Keep and tell everyone what's going on." Jessie says as Butters bit his lip nervously but nodded as he turned around to run away, and the blue-haired boy sighed heavily as he followed after the Elves.
"Damn, I hate to say this, but the Elven Kingdom has a better set up than Kupa Keep." Jessie thought to himself in irritation as, after fast forwarding time, we see that the group of Elves had taken Jessie back into the Neighborhood and had taken him to the house of the Elf King, which just so happened to be close to his and Eric's house as the blue-haired boy looked around and hated himself for finding the Elven Kingdom to look extremely awesome and who could blame him as they had various tents, a giant tree that is being used as a fort, and a huge banner with the name of the kingdom on it as well as a giant throne made out of wood as it looks like something made out of Game of Thrones.
"The Elf King must be rich or something to afford all of this." Jessie thought to himself curiously as he walked forward with the Elves who kidnapped him surrounding him with the crowd of Elves glaring at Jessie as he was led forward, and the blue-haired boy glared back at them before arriving near the giant throne as Jessie placed his hands on his hips and glanced up as he spotted three Boys on standing on the stage with one of them sitting on the throne as the two other boys stood beside him.
One of the boys is a 10-year-old male with black eyes, big poofy red hair, a big nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of a greenish lime ushanka with a headdress crown of a large branch with leaves on the twigs over his hat, a red robe with gold trim, a bright orange jacket underneath as it has Elven markings on it, a necklace with yellow beads, lime-green mittens, a rope over his pouch, dark green pants, and black shoes as he carries around a metal golf club. His name is Kyle Broflovski, the High Jew Elf King.
The second boy is a 10-year-old male with black eyes, short black hair, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a navy blue helmet with metal plates as it also has dark-blue carvings and a red feather on the top, a sleeveless brown baggy tank top, a dark green cape wrapped around his neck as it reaches down to his legs, iron bracelets, a leather belt with a large silver buckle, blue pants, and black shoes as he carried around an iron sword with a bronze handle that had a red jewel on it. His name is Stan Marsh AKA Ranger Stan Marshwalker, the most powerful Warrior of the Elven Kingdom and is the Elf King's right-hand man.
The third boy is not really important to the story, but his name is Chris Donnely, the Elf Warrior that had attacked Kupa Keep on the first day that Jessie arrived in South Park.
"So...you're the New Kid that everyone is talking about, huh? Well, I think that introductions are in order. I am the High Jew Elf King, Kyle Broflovski, and this is my trusty right-hand Elf Warrior, Ranger Stan Marshwalker." Kyle says while introducing himself and Stan as he then glared at the blue-haired boy. "What's your name, kid?"
"My name is Jessie Gladstone, the Warrior of Kupa Keep. Although, Lord Fatass calls me Douchebag, but if any of you call me Douchebag, I would break your kneecaps." Jessie threatened with a glare as the Boys shared a look before Kyle jumped off from his throne as he climbed down, and went over to glare into Jessie's eyes.
"YOU'RE PLAYING FOR THE WRONG SIDE, DUDE!"
"What?! What do you mean!?" A bewildered and angry Jessie asked as Kyle turned around and placed his hands behind his back as he glared up at the sky.
"What did Wizard fat ass tell you? That we broke the rules and took the Stick last night? He's LYING!"
"Cartman is the one you should be fighting against. We tracked down a Carrier raven who told us everything that Cartman told you, but we're here to say that he's deceiving you. What is really going on is that Cartman is hiding the Stick, which is cheating, and acting all betrayed and sad to get YOU to recruit more people for him." Stan says with a scowl as Jessie glanced in between them.
"Do you guys have any proof?"
"...What?" A heavily confused Kyle asked while turning to him and lowering his hands as Jessie narrowed his eyes at them and placed his hands on his hips.
"You heard me. Do any of you have any proof that he is hiding the Stick of Truth?" Jessie asked with a sharp glare as Stan and Kyle shared awkward looks.
"Uh...no, but-,"
"You Elves have done nothing but attacked me and my kingdom since I moved here to South Park, so why would I believe anything you say? For all I know, you can be trying to trick me and try to throw Cartman under the bus so that I will join you guys." Jessie says firmly, remembering seeing someone break into Cartman's backyard while he was being abducted by the aliens, so he was a bit skeptical of what the Elves said.
"I can't believe this. Are you actually defending Cartman?" A disbelief Kyle asked as Jessie shakes his head.
"Oh no, screw that guy. He can die for all I care. I am defending my kingdom. They won't cheat like this. They are not pussies."
"Hey, wait, you calling us pussies?" Chris asked as Jessie gave him a cocky smirk.
"Well, since I keep kicking your Elves' asses without trouble, I have to say that you all are pussies." Jessie says slyly as a pissed-off Chris is close to attacking him but is stopped by his Elveln King as Kyle raised his hand to gesture at him to stand by. "Besides, let's look at the facts here. Since we took the stick back from you guys yesterday, it makes sense for you guys to cheat and steal the Stick of Truth last night. And, also, why would Cartman lie to me about you guys stealing the Stick of Truth to try and pursade me to recruit more members when I'm already apart of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep? Hell, I would've done the quest even if the Stick of Truth wasn't stolen. This just doesn't make sense." Jessie says as Stan and Kyle winced and shared a look as they realize that he made a good point as the Elven King made his way over to place his hand on Jessie's shoulder.
"Look, Jessie, was it? I know that your new in town, but trust me, teaming up with Cartman is a recipe waiting for disaster." Kyle says worriedly as Stan nodded.
"Yeah, he's the literal devil. No, Cartman is WORSE than the Devil. You have no idea of who he really is." Stan says as he and Kyle began telling Jessie of everything that he has done with a few Elves piping in and telling him their experience with the fatass as Jessie, at first, looked dubious, but after seeing the sincerity in the boys' eyes, the blue-haired boy started believing them and was truly disgusted and furious with everything that Cartman has done.
"He...He really killed someone's parents and fed them as chili to a kid simply because he was teasing him?" An appalled and shocked Jessie asked as the Boys solemnly nodded while sharing a look, remembering that awful day when everyone in South Park had seen the true side to Cartman and how much of a sociopath he really is.
"It's the truth, dude." Stan says solemnly as Jessie backed away and looked down as his fists briefly sparkled with blue electricity, and the seriously pissed-off Jessie took deep breaths to calm down his raging anger as he then turned to give the Boys a serious look.
"Look, Guys, I believe you about Cartman. Trust me, I do, but...I just can't leave."
"Jessie, we could tell that you're a nice guy, which is why we want you to join us and help recruit the Goth Kids." Kyle says while going over to place his hand on his shoulder with a serious glare on his face. "You don't owe Eric or Kupa Keep anything." Kyle says as Jessie glared at him and brushed him off as he shakes his head.
"Are you kidding? I owe them everything. When I first moved into South Park, I had no friends, and when I saved Butters from one of the Elves, he introduced me to your game, and the whole Kingdom of Kupa Keep accepted me as one of their own, except for Clyde. Can't you guys see the dilemna that I'm in? I hate Cartman's guts, but I have made allies in Kupa Keep. Butters, Kenny, Karen, Scott, Craig, Tweek, and Token? All of them are my friends. I just can't abandon them. I don't abandon friends. That's not me." Jessie stated passionately as Kyle and Stan stared at him in shock, not expecting him to be this serious about the situation, and felt a bit guilty for trying to force him into joining their Kingdom as they looked down in shame.
"Wow, uh, we didn't know that you felt this strongly about your group."
"Of course I do. I barely had any friends growing up, and now I have tons of them. I can't betray all of them."
"But what about Cartman? Are you going to follow his orders obediently like a little bitch?" Jimmy pointed out in the background as Jessie turned to scowl at him.
"First off, fuck you. Second, hell no. Just because I don't want to betray my friends, it means that I will kiss Cartman's ass. I want to settle the score with him."
"How?" Stan asked as Jessie hummed in thought and placed his hand on his chin as an idea popped into his head.
"Heh, I have something." Jessie says while walking over to whisper into Kyle's ear as the Elf King was surprised by his plan.
"Seriously? You think that would work?"
"Definitely, so what do you think, Elf King? Want to do my plan?" Jessie asked while raising his hand as Kyle stared at it for a few seconds before reaching over to grab his hand and shook it.
"Alright, Jessie, let's do your plan, but I will say, if you're betraying us, we will tell everyone that you're a butthole."
"Understood...oh, and if you guys are lying about not stealing the Stick of Truth, I would not only steal it back from you guys, but I will personally stomp on all of your dicks with my ball-busting boots." Jessie says with a threatening glare as he tightens his grip on Kyle's hand, causing him to yelp in pain, but nodded shakily as the blue-haired boy lets go of him and turned around to casually walk over to the weapon stand.
"Hey, where are you going?"
"I'm checking out your Kingdom...why? Am I not allowed to do that? Are you guys hiding something from me?" Jessie asked with a suspicious glare as Kyle glared back at him and shakes his head.
"No, we don't. Go ahead and scope out our Kingdom. In fact, I'm sending our Best Ranger to help you complete your quest. The Bard is also at your disposal." Kyle says as Jessie nodded just as his phone's notification sound rang out as he proceeds to pull out his phone, and the blue-haired boy was happy to see that he had leveled up to Level 7 as Jessie was quick to press the Abilities Tap and decides to level up his Bull Rush Move to Level 7, which will now allow him to deal an additional amount of damage based on his armor as Jessie then went over to a tent and found a green bag inside as he opened it up and found a Power Potion, 1.00 Dollar and 20 Cents, and a Level 5 Warrior's Axe inside.
"Eh, too small for my liking." Jessie says to himself with a shrug while tossing away the axe as he then went over to a Boy his age that has a receding hairline named Jason and could be seen standing in front of what seems to be the Weapon Stand. "Hey, man, can I buy your weapons?" Jessie asked curiously as Jason nodded.
"An ally of the Elf King is an ally of mine. My shop is open to you." Jason says as Jessie nodded and looked through the selection of weapons as he frowned a bit.
"Okay, so I can safely say that Kupa Keep has the best weapons." Jessie thought to himself deadpannedly as the majority of the weapons there look weak or lame to him but decided to reluctantly buy the Level 6 Elf Blade as well as the Level 6 Small Nail and Candy Bar Wrapper, and Level 7 Quiver and Mace Patch as Jessie also decided to buy the Minstrel Get Up, mostly because he needed some updated armor as Jessie handed Jason 67.00 Dollars and grabbed all of the stuff that he bought.
Putting away his Fatbeard's Sword, Jessie grabbed onto his Elf Blade and equipped his Level 5 Small Nail Patch onto it, which will allow him to ignore attacks up to 30 Armor as he then equipped his Shattered Anal Probe and Cult Pamphlet Patches onto his Long Bow as Jessie made his way into a nearby Changing Tent and came out of it a few minutes later while wearing his Minstral Outfit as he dyed it primarily dark blue with red accents and was quick to equip his Minstrel's Cap with his Level 7 Mace Patchm as it will allow him to deal 10% more 1-Handed Weapon Damage, equipped two patches onto his Minstrel's Uniform as one of the patches was the Level 7 Circuit Patch as it deals 10% more Shock Damage and the second patch was the Amazon Patch as it allows him to gain 2 PP when he deals a ranged attack and, to finish it off, Jessie quipped his Minstrel's Gloves with a Level 7 Quiver Patch, which will allow him to deal 10% Bow Damage.
"Alright, I may look ridiculous, but at least that I will be well protected." Jessie thought to himself with a sweatdrop as his phone's notification sound rang out and quickly pulled out his phone as he saw that Jason had sent him a friend request and was quick to accept it as Jessie then put away his phone and turned around to walk forward as Jessie saw that Stan looks a little sad and, feeling pity on the kid, he went over to talk to him. "Hey, dude, what's up?" Jessie asked with Stan turning to him in surprise that he checked on him as he stared at him warily but reluctantly decided to tell his troubles.
"All is lost, Jessie. My contacts, my maps, and my friend list, were all taken from me by the She-Ogre."
"A She-Ogre, huh? She sounds like a bitch." Jessie says as Stan nodded.
"Yeah, she is. She has no soul."
"I can see. I can't imagine that someone will steal your phone. That is so cruel...hmmm...hey, why don't I help you get your phone back?"
"You will help me battle the She-Ogre and reclaim my iPhone?" A shocked Stan asked as Jessie nodded.
"Yeah, I would hate for someone to steal my phone. Besides, I'm bored as shit and want a good fight."
"Hmmm...perhaps you ARE one to be trusted. Very well. Let us end this when you are ready to leave." Stan says as Jessie nodded before turning around to explore more of the Elven Kingdom as he made his way towards to talk with Chris, who glared at him as he scoffed and looked away.
"Our King may trust you, but that doesn't mean I have to."
"Fair enough, dude." Jessie says before walking over to a boy covered in filth and shit named Dougie as the blue-haired boy was covered to cover his nose so that his superhuman senses won't be overwhelmed by the boy's dirty ass body. "H-Hey, man, what's wrong with you?"
"Well, you see, the Humans have raised banners around town, claiming Elf Territory for their own. So sayeth the Well of Inisth...plus it's all over Twitter. Anyway, the Well of Insight says that balance can be restored only if a Chosen One were to fuck up their banners. Would you be able to do it?"
"Yeah, sure." Jessie says with a shrug before walking over to climb up the Tree Forth as he found a couple of green bags and was able to find sky blue dye, a Cure Potion, and a Level 6 Elvish Loyaly Patch as he pocketed them all and then climbed down the Tree Fort as Jessie whistled at Stan and gestured at him that they are leaving as he nodded and the Duo walked out of the Elven Kingdom as they appeared in Kyle's Kitchen.
"So, the good news is that Kyle and I love next door to each other, so we won't have to walk long to complete our dangerous quest." Stan says while a distracted Jessie went over to raid Kyle's kitchen and was able to find a (Large) Health Potion, a Cure Potion, a Power Potion, and a Level 6 Ice Cube Patch as Jessie decided to equip it for his Elf Blade, and it will now add 25 Frost Damage on Perfect Attack. "But I must warn you, nothing would prepare you for that-Hey, wait, where are you going?" Stan says ominously before raising an eyebrow as he noticed Jessie looking through the drawers and pickpocketing 10.00 Dollars, a Dreidel, and Macaroni Pictures as he then began walking up the stairs.
"Oh, yeah, if there's something that you have to know about me is that I'm a Kleptomaniac. It means that I like to steal stuff." Jessie says with Stan staring at him incredulously as the Elf Ranger shakes his head in disbelief before following his new ally, and the Duo arrived at the second floor of the house as Jessie walks into the first room he sees, which seems to be Kyle's Room as he went over to open a drawer and found a (Small) Health Potion, Underpants, Sidekicjsm and 2.00 Dollars and 40 Cents as Jessie pocketed them all before the blue-haired boy and Stan walked out of Kyle's Room as they made their way into Kyle's Parents Room and Jessie went over to look through some drawers as he was able to find 1.00 Dollar and 15 Cents, the Browflovski Garage Key and Canadian Adoption Papers as Jessie paused a bit and turned to Stan for an explanation.
"Oh, Kyle has an Adopted Canadian Brother named Ike."
"Oh really?" A surprised Jessie asked as Stan nodded.
"Yeah, but he's not here right now. I think he's playing pirates with his friends or something." Stan says with a shrug as Jessie nodded before making his way over to open up another drawer as he found a Cure Potion and a Barbarian Wig inside as the superpowered boy decided to put it on and dyed it blue as the Duo then walked out of the room and made their way toward the Bathroom as Jessie was able to find Acne Design inside before he and Stan walked out of the Bathroom as they made their way outside of the house and spotted a Man standing outside as he was shoveling snow out of his driveway.
The man is a 42-year-old Man with black eyes, balding brown hair with brown sideburns, a small nose, a sharp chin with a full brown beard trimmed into a point at the chin and shaved alongside the lips so that his mustache does not connect, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consist of a magenta yarmulke, a moss green khaki jacket with a blue shirt underneath, forest green trousers, and black shoes. His name is Gerald Broflovski, Kyle's Father.
"Oh, hey, New Kid. Welcome to the Neighboorhood." Gerald greeted with a friendly smile as he waved at him, and Jessie awkwardly waved back before making his way to open the Broflovski Garage as he was able to find Kyle's Muttonchops, a Stegmata Chinpokomon, and a Level 7 Small Magnet as he pocketed them all and quickly puts on the muttonchops as he dyed them blue just as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out as he pulled it out and saw that Mr. Broflovski had sent him a friend request as Jessie accepted it and was about to leave, but stopped as he spotted a Homeless Person sitting nearby on the ground and, upon remembering what the Mayor of South Park wants him to do, Jessie turned to Stan.
"Hey, Stan, since we will be both fighting the She-Ogre, I might as well see what you are made off. Let's practice fighting against that Homeless Guy." Jessie says while pointing over at the Homeless Guy as Stan raised an eyebrow but nodded.
"Uh, okay." Stan says as the Kids went over to the Homeless Guy, and Jessie decided to activate his Bull Rush Move as he pulled out a Football Helmet and puts it on as he bends down and skids his feet against the ground repeatedly before charging forward as Jessie collided against the Homeless Person's back and sends him flying forward as he crashed onto the ground with a pained groan.
"Alright, Stan, show me what you got." Jessie says as Stan nodded and decided to use his Discus of Might Move as he pulled out a metal disc and held out his arms as Stan started spinning around rapidly before throwing his disc forward as it flew over to collide against the back of the Homeless Person's head, knocking him down into the ground as Jessie whistled. "Nice, anything else?"
"Yeah, watch this shit." Stan says while pulling out his sword and walking over to the groaning Homeless Person as he activated his Whirlwind Slash and started spinning around rapidly, resembling a blue, brown, and green tornado as Stan began slashing the Homeless Person repeatedly, causing slash marks to appear all over his body as Stan then whistled loudly and activated his Marked for Death Move as his dog Sparky appeared and Stan yelled 'Red Rocket!' while pointing at the bleeding Homeless Person, who turned around to scramble away in fear as a barking Sparky chased after him.
"Nice." Jessie says as, while Stan's Power Moves aren't as impressive as Butters's Move, they are slightly more impressive than Princess Kenny's Move.
"Thanks, now, let's go to my home to do my quest." Stan says as Jessie nodded, and the Duo turned around as they walked ahead and made their way towards Stan's House, which was a two-story dark forest green house with a garage placed beside it as Jessie was quick to walk over to appear inside, and walked up the ladder to reach the attic as Jessie found a Treasure Box inside and went over to open it as he found a Level 4 Druid Robes.
"Damn, if I broke into Stan's Garage earlier, I would've gotten this." Jessie says with a pout before shrugging away as he put away the new clothes and walked down the ladder as the Duo then entered Stan's House, and Stan watched in surprise and slight annoyance as Jessie went over to enter the Kitchen and stole two (Large and Small) Health Potions, a Pan Flautist Mustache, and a Speed Potion as Jessie pocketed them all before the Duo made their way upstairs as Jessie went into the first room that he saw, which just so happens to be Stan's Room as he scurried around and was able to find Underpants, a Small Health Potion, 2.00 Dollars and 40 Cents as Jessie then went over to open Stan's drawer Closet and found Stan's Mudbeard, Sparky's leash, and a picture of a cute black-haired girl as the blue-haired boy turned to Stan. "Who is this?"
"Oh, that's Wendy. Wendy Testaburguer, she's my girlfriend." Stan explains as Jessie's eyes widened in surprise.
"Wait, really? Sweet, congrats, man."
"Thanks. Although, we have a few problems here and there and broke up a lot, but we're together now...I think?" Stan says to himself in confusion as Jessie raised an eyebrow but nods as they then walked out of the room and went over to what seemed to be Stan's Parent's Room as Jessie found a Major Mustache, Medical Marijuana Card, underpants, (Small) Health Potion, Messy Wig, 2.00 Dollars and 40 Cents as the Boys then walked out and made their way over to where the Shre-Ogre Resides in as the Boys shared a look and nodded as Stan proceeds to kick open the door and Jessie was surprised to see a Teenage Girl making out with a Teenage Boy.
One of the teenagers is a 13-year-old Girl with black eyes, shoulder-length messy brown hair with bangs, a small nose, wears orthodontic headgear, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a short slim build, and his outfit consists of a gray buttoned-up shirt, long pink pants, and black shoes.
The second teenager is a 13-year-old boy with black eyes, short brushed back shiny blonde hair, a small nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin with black tattoos around his right shoulder and arms, a muscularly slim build, and his outfit consists of a sleeveless blue tank top with a shark tooth necklace around his neck, long white trunks with black/orange stripes on them, and light blue sandals. His name is Larry Freegan, Shelly's Boyfriend who had recently lost a lot of weight and hit the gym after Shelly was able to save him from drowning.
"Give me back my iPhone, you She-Demon!" Stan screamed while pointing at Shelly, who glared at him as she separated from her Boyfriend.
"YOU LITTLE TURD! GET OUT OF MY ROOM! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO MAKE OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!" A pissed-off Shelly screamed while glaring at Stan, who glared back at her as he gestured at Jessie.
"I've brought help this time! Let's see you try to take us out both!" Stan shouted as a furious Shelly was about to attack the boys but was stopped by Lary as he reached over to place his hand on her shoulder.
"Shelly, is this true?" Larry asked sternly as a confused Shelly turned to him.
"What?"
"Did you steal your Brother's Phone?" Larry asked as Shelly blushed in embarrassment and looks away
"Errr, yeah, but-,"
"Come on, Shelly, give it back to him."
"But-,"
"If you do, they will leave, and we can continue making out and then later play video games." Larry encouraged as Shelly pouted and sighed heavily as she rolled her eyes.
"Fine, here you go, Turd." Shelly says while jumping out of her bed as she walked over to reach into her drawer and pulled out Stan's iPhone as she threw it to him. "There, now, get out of my room, Turds!" Shelly screamed as the Boys flinched and turned around to run out of her room as she and Larry went back to making out.
"Well, that just happened." Jessie says deadpannedly after he and Stan made their way out of the house as the Elven Ranger turned to him.
"I have to give my thanks, Sir Jessie. While we didn't fight the She-Ogre, the fact that you were brave enough to try and fight her shows how trustworthy you are. I am proud to call you my friend. If you ever need my services, just call." Stan says as Jessie nodded and watched on as his new friend walks away as his phone's notification sound rang out, and Jessie pulled out his phone to see that Stan, Shelly, and Larry had sent him friend requests as he accepted them all and saw two posts on Facebook as one of them was Gerald as he wrote in a message saying, 'Just landed a new celebrity client. I can't reveal her name, but let's just say that she's a 300-ft tall robot dinosaur' and an exasperated Randy replied, 'Come on, one hint'.
"Okay, that's weird." Jessie says in bewilderment before shaking his head as he saw that the second post belongs to Stan with his post saying, 'The She-Ogre has been tamed by a humble prince! All Elves can walk the Land of Zaron safely once again' as he got tons of likes from Kyle and the others. "Alright, better go and do my main mission." Jessie says as he put away his phone and was about to leave, but stopped as he spotted Jimmy walking over to him.
"Jessie the Warrior, g-good to see you. You're just the m-man that I wanted to s-see." Jimmy says as Jessie turned to him confusedly but nodded.
"Alright, then...also, sorry for beating you up yesterday."
"I-It's fine. If you didn't b-beat me up, I would've seen you as a c-cowardly p-pu...pu...p-pu...pussy." Jimmy stuttered as a relieved Jessie nodded. "So, anyway, I need your help with something. You see, every good B-Bard needs to have a good flute. The reason why I-I lost to you yesterday is that I lost my favorite flute and was forced to use my u-ukelele, so if I had a flute, I could play f-f-fantastic melodies. I heard on Facebook-I mean, Carrier Raven that a Rancher might be selling in his Ranch, and I was wondering you can accompany there with me."
"Sure, I don't mind." Jessie says with a shrug as Jimmy handed him the map of South Park and the blue-haired boy was able to figure out where the Ranch was as he put away the map and nodded as Jessie started walking forward with Jimmy following after him as they made their way past Kyle's House and walked up the sidewalk as the Duo arrived at the South Park Park and walked over to the right pathway as they arrived at a new neighborhood and Jessie spotted one of the Kindergardeners named Sally hiding behind a trashcan and made his way over to her.
"Billy tried to steel my hidey spot, but I made him go away."
"Good for you, kid." Jessie says with a nod as Sally walked away, and the blue-haired boy turned over to see a one-story red house with a garage placed in front of him as well as a KKK Banner planted on the front lawn as Jessie made his way over to break it before making his way to enter the house as the blue-haired boy was surprised to see the man that liked getting anally probed by the Aliens sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.
The Man is a 40-year-old Male with black eyes, short light brownish-gray hair, thick bushy brownish-gray eyebrows, a big nose, a brownish-gray handlebar mustache, thick pink lips, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a black cap, a sleeveless opened black leather jacket with a salmon tank top underneath, a black belt with a silver belt buckle, long black leather pants with ripped knees and his crouch being colored blue, and black boots. His name is Mr. Slave, Big Gay Al's Husband, and Mr. Garrison's Former Ex-Boyfriend and Teaching Assistant.
"Oh, hey, there, Kid. I remember you. Weren't you one of the people that were kidnapped by the Aliens? I felt so bad when I saw you cry because those Aliens probed you." Mr. Slave says with Jessie flinching and sweating nervously as Jimmy turned to him.
"What does he mean by that, Jess?"
"I have no idea what he's talking about. He's crazy." Jessie lied as Mr. Slave pouted but didn't say anything as an idea popped into his head.
"Hey, New Kid, since you helped bring us all back from the Aliens-,"
"Lies."
"...can you help me with something? There was a mixup at the Post Office, and they accidentally gave me a package for Ms. Cartman. Any chance that you can go to the Post Office and pick up my package while I drop this one at her house?" Mr. Slave asked while pulling out the package belonging to Ms. Cartman as Jessie was disgusted to see that it was a huge black dildo.
"...Errr...sure." Jessie says as Mr. Slave beamed and nodded as the Boys walked on ahead and Jimmy was confused to see that Jessie started raiding the house as he explained to his new friend that he is a Kleptomaniac and likes to steal stuff as Jimmy was weirded out by this, but didn't say anything as Jessie continued looting the house and was able to find a Power Potion, a Cure Potion, and an Anchor Beard as the Duo then made their way out of Mr. Slave's House and continued walking forward as they then walked up the sidewalk and appeared near the U-STOR-IT Storage Facility as Jessie and Jimmy were about to leave, but stopped as they noticed a Homeless Person standing inside of the truck.
"Hmmm, hey, Jimmy, I did this with Stan where I had him fight this Homeless Person to see how he fights. Care to do the same?"
"By, of course, and don't worry, I will end this with one attack." Jimmy says reassuringly while walking up to the truck as he pulled out his ukelele and activated his Lullabye Move as he started strumming his instrument. "Close your eyes, no more thinking...thinking about the troubles, sleep now with Jesus..for you are blessed~," Jimmy sang, causing the Homeless Person inside to go sleepy as he groaned and crashed down onto the floor as he started sleeping.
"Whoa, you can make people go to sleep?" A surprised Jessie asked as Jimmy nodded. "Then why didn't you do that to me?"
"You hit me with a ham in our final boss fight."
"Oh, yeah, right." Jessie says with a big sweatdrop on his head before going over to crawl inside the truck as Jessie walked over to a small green bag placed at the end of the truck and opened it as the blue-haired boy spots yellow dye inside and pockets it as he then walked out of the truck and the Duo walked a dirt/snow-covered ground as they soon arrived at the South Park Cattle Ranch.
"Oh, boy, the Cattle Ranch! We're here! Excuse us?! Hello!?" Jimmy shouted, getting the attention of the Rancher as he made his way over to the Boys. The Rancher is a 35-year-old Man with black eyes, short light brown hair, thin light brown eyebrows, a small nose with a light brown mustache, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a black cowboy hat with a white sash, a red jacket with blue buttons and front pockets, a brown belt with a gray belt buckle, long blue jeans, and black boots. His name is Farmer Bill Denkins AKA Rancher Bob, a Former who owns the South Park Ranch.
"Hey, get off my Ranch!" Rancher Bob yelled with a stern glare as Jessie held out his hands.
"Hey, sorry to bother you, sir, but you see, my Friend here wants to buy a flute that you were promoting on Facebook." Jessie explained as Rancher Bob stared at the Boys incredulously.
"You wanna buy the flute?" Rancher Bob asked as Jimmy nodded.
"It just so happens that I'm a Level 10 Bard, and a flute is what I need to play magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of enchamen...magical songs of 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"Yeah, well, only problem is that the flute's in the barn, and there's where the crazy cattle are fucked up! Damndest thing I ever saw. Some of the cattle started acting really funny. I tried to calm them down, but they shouted something in German and then tried to kill me!" Rancher Bob screamed panickedly with Jessie and Jimmy sharing a look as they nodded in determination and turned back to him.
"Don't worry, Sir, my Friend is a Level 10 Bard and I'm a Level 7 Warrior. We can definitely deal with these Crazy Cows." Jessie says reassuringly as Rancher Bob raised an eyebrow but nodded as he took out a set of keys.
"Alright, if you say so, here's the keys to the Barn." Rancher Bob says while handing the Barn Keys to Jessie, who pocketed them, as he then looked around and spots one of the Kindergarteners named Billy hiding behind a white fence as he went over to him.
"Aww, you founded me," Billy says with a pout before walking away as Jessie shakes his head before he and Jimmy walked over to the barn as they used the Barn Keys to open it, and walked inside.
"Alright, cows, time to stop misbehaving." A stern Jimmy says before he and Jessie's eyes widened in shock as they spotted a group of what seem to be Nazi Zombie Cows standing in front of them. "Uh oh." Jimmy says with a nervous gulp as one of the Nazi Zombie Cows charged over to try and attack him, but thankfully, Jessie zoomed in front of him and held out his Elf Blade as he proceeds to deliver a mighty slice across the Nazi Zombie Cow's head, cutting it off as Jessie then turned to Jimmy.
"Hey, Man, you got anything that can help us out on this?" Jessie asked seriously as Jimmy perked up and nodded while pulling out his ukelele.
"Yep, I do, hold on." Jimmy says while strumming his ukelele as he then strummed a power cord, raising both his and Jessie's PP to their maximum as the Comedian Fourth Grader then activated his Song of Buffness. "And now for my next trick...there was once a maiden from S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Stonebury Hollow. She didn't talk much, but damn did she s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-swallow. I have a nice lance that she s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sat upon, the maiden from Stoneburry...who was also your Mom~," Jimmy sang while strumming his ukelele as he not only lowered his enemies defenses and guard but also increased his and Jessie's strength as the blue-haired boy was surprised to see his weapon glowing red.
"Whoa, what was that?"
"That was my Song of Buffness. It's a song that not only weakness my enemies, but it makes us stronger." Jimmy says as Jessie blinked a couple of times before grinning as he nodded.
"Stronger, huh? Alright, let me test out that theory." Jessie says while coming up with a plan to use his superpowers discreetly without exposing them to Jimmy as he pulled out his metal bat and baseball as his hands light up with blue electricity and a grunting Jessie threw up his baseball into the air as he then processes to whack the ball and it flew forward to bounce across the area of the farm as it began piercing through multiple of the Nazi Zombie Cows, killing them all as they crashed down onto the ground and, before the Kids can react, they suddenly blew up, covering the whole farm with Nazi Zombie Cow's bits and blood as Jessie and Jimmy were able to miraculously missed getting stained by the explosion, but it doesn't mean that they weren't mentally scarred by what they have seen as they had their eyes wide and jaws dropped.
"...Uh...we...we should...we should...we should get the flute." Jimmy says with a scared stutter as a stunned Jessie nodded with both of the kids struggling not to barf at what just happened as they nervously make their way through the farm while narrowly avoiding the blood and zombie guts all around them as Jessie and Jimmy climbed up the ladder and was able to find a small red box as they went over to open it and found the flute inside. "Thank god, the flute is here. Let's get the hell o-o-out of here." Jimmy says while turning around to climb down the ladder as Jessie was about to follow after him but stopped as he spotted a sign placed on the wall that reads, 'Al Gore's Manbearbig Tracking Sign', and the blue-haired boy sighed heavily before walking over to place Al Gore's Final Tranquiler on the sign as Jessie then followed after Jimmy and arrived outside of the Farm as they then made their way over to Rancher Bob.
"Hey, you guys did it. You two Kids are alright. Did you find the flute?" Rancher Bob asked as Jimmy nodded just as Jessie pulled out the flute as the blue-haired boy handed it over to him.
"We sure did, Rancher Bob, and now my Bardic Abilities will be greater than ever before," Jimmy says while playing the flute as Rancher Bob smiled.
"Well, you earned it. See ya around." Rancher Bob says while walking away as Jimmy turned to Jessie.
"Thanks, New Kid. I couldn't have done it without you. Even if we were forced to watch Nazi Zombie Cows suicide bomb themselves, but anyway, if you ever need my help, just call me." Jimmy says while walking away as Jessie sighed heavily and, suddenly, his phone's notification sound rang out as he pulled out his phone and was able to see that he had two friend requests from Jimmy and Ranger Bob as Jessie also noticed that he had enough friends for a new Perk and the blue-haired boy was quick to press the Perk Tab and looked through the whole selection of different perks as, after looking at all of them carefully, Jessie decided to pick the 'Growing Boy' Perk, which will maximize his health by 20%.
"Alright, I might as well do my main mission now-,"
"JESSIE!" A familiar voice rang out as Jessie turned his head and was surprised to see Butters appearing on the scene as he ran over to hug him.
"Butters?!"
"JESSIEIWASSOWORRIEDABOUTYOUBECAUSEYOUHAVEBEENGONEFORALONGWHILEANDITHOUGHTTHEELVESKILLEDYOUSOISTARTEDSEARCHINGALLACROSSSOUTHPARKAND-,"
"Whoa, calm down there, little buddy. I'm okay. I'm not hurt." Jessie says reassuringly while hugging Butters back as he then separated from him.
"Really? What happened with the Elves?" Butters asked worriedly as Jessie was about to tell him the truth...but then paused as he remembered the whole Pepper Spray Incident and pouted a bit as, while he cares deeply for Butters (As a friend, calm down everybody), Jessie also knows that Butters has big loyalty with Cartman and, if he tells him his plans, Butters would snitch at Eric, so after sighing heavily, Jessie puts on a fake confident grin.
"Ha, ha, don't worry about me, Butters. The Elves tried to persuade me and convince me to join their team, but I told them to go fuck themselves, kicked the nearest Elves in the balls, and ran off."
"Hmmm...well...that does sound like something you would do...that's great! I'm happy that you're okay, buddy." Butters says while patting his back as Jessie gave him an awkward smile, feeling bad about lying to him but knowing that it was for the greater good, i.e., finally getting some good revenge on that fat bastard. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, remember what the Goths told us about that old guy that sells clothes? Well, I thought he was here at the Ranch, but I think he was in that U-STOR-IT Facitliy, right?" Jessie lied, pretending to be confused as Butters nodded.
"Yep, here, I will show you where it is." Butters says while walking away as Jessie followed after him, and the Duo walked out of the South Park Ranch as they appeared by the U-Stor-It Facility and looked around as the Duo spotted a nearby Homeless Person lying on the ground near the black fence and Jessie and Butters walked over to him as he turned to the Kids.
"I will give you a good price." The Homeless Person while pointing at his 'selection' of clothes as the Kids turned to it and were able to see Level 5 Goth Clothes, Goth Cap, Goth Gloves, and Black Eyeliner as all of them cost 16.00 Dollars and 40 Cents as Jessie handed over the money and pocketed them all as he turned to Butters.
"Alright, I'm going to go and change." Jessie says to Butters, who nodded and watched on as Jessie made his way over to the back of the truck and closed it as, after a few minutes of changing, the door was opened, and Jessie jumped out as he landed on the ground, and slowly turned to Butters, who gasped loudly as he saw his Friend wearing the Level 5 Goth Cap, Black Eyeliner, and the Level 5 Goth Clothes and Cap as, if that wasn't enough, Jessie also dyed his blue hair completely black. "Okay, Butters, be completely honest with me. How do I look?"
"...Like a douchebag."
"...You know, for once, I will let that slide since I feel the same way." A disgusted Jessie says while glancing down at his outfit as he shivered. "Let's just hurry and do this stupid mission so I can put my old clothes back on."
"Roger, but I have to ask, why did you dye your hair?" Butters asked curiously as Jessie gave him a deadpanned look and crossed his arms as he scoffed.
"Please, do you really think that I want anyone I know, besides you, to see me in this look? I look completely ridiculous."
"Oh, I don't know, I think you look kind of cool, in a gloomy kind of way." A familiar voice rang out, causing Jessie to flinch, and the blue-haired boy slowly turned his head as he was surprised to see Heidi walking up to them while wearing a pale red hair with pink/white/purple accents and a purple blossom attached to it, a long-sleeved lime green buttoned-up jacket with a red collar, a short-sleeved white shirt underneath, red gloves, long black trousers, and black shoes.
"Oh, uh, hey, Heidi," Jessie says with a small blush while fully turning to her as Heidi waves at him.
"Hey, Jessie." Heidi says with a smile while eyeing him up and down as she raised an eyebrow. "So, uh, nice get up, Jessie. Black looks good on you. Although, I prefer you with your cute blue hair." Heidi says as Jessie blushed harder and raised his hands.
"Oh, actually, I'm not wearing this clothes by choice. You see, I'm currently on a quest by Kupa Keep to recruit the Goths into our group, and they won't join unless I wear these clothes."
"Ah, okay." Heidi says with an understanding nod as Butters eyed them both curiously.
"So, uh, you two know each other?" Butters asked as the Duo turned to him, admittedly forgetting about his presence as Jessie nodded.
"Yep, I met Heidi earlier after I escaped from the Elves." Jessie lied as Heidi waved at Butters.
"Hey, Butters." Heidi says as Jessie then turned to her.
"So, beautiful, not that I don't mind your presence, but what are you doing all the way out here?" Jessie asked curiously as Heidi was quick to explain.
"Oh, my Dad owns a Restaurant nearby, and I was helping him set everything up since his Employees will come late. I was just walking around when I heard your voice and went over to meet up with you."
"Neat...hey, want to join on our quest?" Jessie asked as Heidi beamed and nodded.
"Sure, if it's okay with Butters." Heidi says as Butters smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, it's okay with me. Just make sure that the Grand Wizard doesn't find out. He doesn't want Girls to play with us, except for Princess Kenny."
"Man, what a dweeb. Who doesn't want Girls to play with us?" Jessie asked rhetorically, not wanting the game to be a total sausage fest, as the Trio started walking down the street and walked past a Fast Travel Flag as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out, and the superpowered kid pulled out his phone to see that Timmy had sent him a friend request as he also saw that he got two posts and one of them belong to Stan as he posted 'Sparky just took a shit that looks EXACTLY like Cartman's head' as Kyle and several others liked it as Jessie laughed a bit and liked the post as he then read the second post, which was written by Jimmy as it reads, 'I'm doing three shows a night at the Giggling Donkey starting next week. Here's a sample from my set. What has two crutches, and likes being a bard? Give up? This guy! Wow, what a fantastic audience'.
"Well, to be fair, the Girls most likely don't want to play." Heidi pointed out as Jessie nodded and put away his phone just as they arrived near Tweek Coffee Shop as they were about to walk past it, but stopped as Al Gore suddenly jumped out of the bushes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PEDOHILE ALERT! PEDOHILE ALERT! NO MEANS NO! THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!" A panicking Heidi screamed while pulling out her pepper spray as she was about to use it on Al Gore but stopped as Jessie held out his hand.
"Don't worry, Heidi, he's not a pedohile...I think. It's just Al Gore."
"...Who?"
"I don't know, really." Jessie says with a shrug as Heidi pursed her lips but puts away her pepper spray as a worried Al Gore sighs in relief.
"Thanks for saving me back there, Junior Algorean, and good job with the very important mission that I gave you...I kind of wished that you finished it yesterday, but its okay." Al Gore says with his eyes twitching a bit as he had stayed in that bush for nearly a whole day.
"Eh, I honestly forgot." Jessie says with a careless shrug as Al Gore glared at him but took deep breaths to calm himself down as he pulled out his phone.
"Anyway, with all of the sensors placed, I can get a reading on my-I knew it!" Al Gore says before pretending to gasp dramatically as he glanced down at his phone.
"Knew what?!" An alarmed Heidi asked as Al Gore ignored her and turned to Jessie.
"These are definitely hot ManBearPig readings! Come with me! I must put this data in the DataManBearPigBase!" Al Gore screamed while reaching down to grab Jessie's arm and ran away while dragging him along as a concerned Heidi and Butters followed after him as they made their way to the U-STOR-IT Facility and the group made their way in as they arrived at Al Gore Storage Room and said person opened up the gate as he walked in and finally let go of Jessie as he pulled out his phone and began messing with it. "Uh huh...hmmmm...this is VERY interesting! The sensors have picked ManBearPig underneath ground of South Park! If you know how to get into the sewers, go there at once and run this defilibrator!" Al Gore says while handing the defilibrator to Jessie, who gave him a blank glare.
"You couldn't have told me back near Tweek Coffee Shop?" Jessie asked irritably while rolling his eyes as the Trio turned around and walked out of Al Gore's Storage Room.
"We're not actually going to the Sewers, right?"
"Oh, hell no." Jessie stated bluntly with Heidi sighing in relief as the Trio were about to leave the Storage Facility but stopped as a curious Jessie went over to one of the storage rooms. "Wait, hold on, guys, I want to check this storage room out before we leave." Jessie says as Heidi nodded while Butters flinched worriedly as he realized which storage room belongs to.
"Uh, actually, Jessie, I don't think we should-," Butters says before being cut off by Jessie, who used his Chaos Lair Key as he opened up the Storage Room and the Trio walked in as they were surprised to see that the whole room was dark before an alarm began blaring loudly.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have triggered the mighty CHAOS ALARM, and now the Earth shall be destroyed in ten seconds!" A voice that resembled Butters rang out as it began counting down with Jessie and Heidi sharing odd, somewhat worried looks, and Butters fidgetted around as the alarm finished counting down, but instead of the Earth being destroyed, the lights were instead turned on to show them Professor Chaos's Evil Lair as all of his equipment were turned on. "BLAMO! And now ALL of these lights and electrical equipment you see are ON and will NEVER BE TURNED OFF! Draining the Earth's entire power supply and plunging humanity into deep cold darkness! Without light or heat or computers or power, humans will be left to fend for themselves against the beasts and the elements! HUMANITY BE DAMNED! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Okay, I'm pretty sure all of this electrical equipment being turned on won't take out the Earth's Power supply at all. It will just cause the electricity in this room to be shorted out eventually." Jessie says to himself incredulously as he then turned to his male friend. "So, Butters, care to explain what's going on?"
"Uh...I don't know, really. I think that we must have stumbled upon the secret and cool lair of a super evil, super cool, really handsome super genius." Butters says while sweating nervously as he looked away, and Jessie stared at him suspiciously as Heidi leaned over to whisper into his ear.
"Whenever the Boys play Superheroes, Butters likes to dress up and act as a supervillain named 'Professor Chaos',"
"Wait, Butters likes to play as a Supervillain? That sounds precious." Jessie says as Heidi nodded.
"Yeah, he always does this adorable little 'evil' plans of his." Heidi says with a giggle as Butters turned to stare at them oddly.
"What are you guys talking about?"
"Oh, nothing, Butters." Jessie says while walking forward as the others followed after him and reached the end of Professor Chaos's Storage Room as the Trio spotted Dougie O'Connell standing a few feet away from them while wearing a uniform similarly constructed to Professor Chaos as he wore aluminum-covered glasses, an aluminum shirt with a badge that had the initials 'G.D.' on it, aluminum gloves, a brown belt with a golden buckle, blue pants, and black shoes. Dougie was currently transformed into his Professor Chaos' Sidekick Persona, General Disarray.
"Professor Chaos left me in here to keep changing the lightbulbs until the Earth's energy supply is drained." General Disarry says before spotting Jessie as he smiled at him. "Hey, Dougie spoke of you and says you make a worthy ally." General Dissary says while sending him a friend request with his phone as Jessie was annoyed that he was easily recognized but briefly pulled out his phone to accept his friend request anyway.
"Awww, he even has a villainous sidekick? This is just adorable." Jessie cooed with Heidi nodding in agreement as the Trio then walked over to the right and spotted a whiteboard planted on the wall with a sign that reads 'WHO IS HE?' as the whiteboard had various images of all of the boys in South Park with red arrows that go over to connect to a picture of a hooded mysterious figure as Jimmy, Tolkien, Cartman, and Timmy were crossed out as there was also a crudely drawn in map of South Park with a large sign that reads 'MYSTERION SIGHTINGS' as various places in South Park were crossed out. "Who is Mysterion?" Jessie asked curiously as Heidi and Butters perked up
"Oh, he is this really cool Vigilantee that patrols the city of South Park and fights crime." Heidi gushed as Jessie gave her a surprised look.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he showed up several months ago and started protecting the city by beating up bad guys, but no one knows his real identity. I mean, even a mega cool super genius like Professor Chaos can't figure it out." Butters says while looking nervous as Jessie gave him a flat look.
"Yeah, even the police tried to figure it out but failed." Heidi explained as she remembered the press conference where the Police were able to convince Mysterion to reveal his secret identity to the public, but Mysterion thought ahead and was able to convince Kyle to take his place and wear his disguise to fool the city of South Park as everyone caught on to their little trick when the real Mysterion made a dramatic entrance and told everyone that he will never reveal his Secret Identity to them to protect his loved ones, but promises that he will continue protecting the city and smoke bomb away into the night like a total badass.
"Wow...a real-life superhero." An amazed Jessie says due to his love for Superheroes as he always fantasized about being a Superhero due to his powers, but every time he uses his powers for heroics, it always comes to disaster as Jessie sighs heavily, wishing to be a Superhero one day, but when will that happen? Pfft.
"Anyway, I have to talk to General Dissary a bit...I mean, interrogate him and convince him to stop destroying the Earth." Butters lied while making his way over to him as his Friends rolled their eyes before walking forward as the Duo spotted a green bag and a Roo-Stor Chinpokomon Doll placed near the ventilation system.
"Hey, for old times sake?" Jessie asked with a grin while holding out his hand as Heidi beamed and nodded as she reached out to grab his hand, and the blue-haired boy used his Anal Probe to warp them over to the ventilation system as he grabbed the doll before going over to open the bag as Jessie found a Speed Potion, Indigo Dye, 4.00 Dollars and 80 Cents, a (Large) Power Potion, a Level 4 Red Cross Badge Patch, and a Level 6 Squire Helmet as, before Butters and Dougie could spot them, Jessie was quick to warp him and Heidi back into the ground with his Anal Probe.
"That still feels weird." Heidi says with a shiver as Jessie nodded before they made their way over to Butters, who was in the middle of a conversation with General Dissary as he turned to them.
"Okay, Butters, let's go back to the main quest and-,"
"Oh, yeah, about that, I won't be able to go yet. I haven't finished interrogating General Dissary yet, but don't worry, I called for backup to help aid you on your mission." Butters says reassuringly as Jessie raised an eyebrow but nodded as he and Heidi then made their way through Professor Chaos's Evil Lair and opened the door as they were surprised to see McCormick Siblings standing in front of them, and Princess Kenny can be seen having a bloated stomach due to wearing a cushion underneath her dress.
"Mmm, Mmmmm. Mmmm mm mmm mmm mmm? (Hey, Jessie. Ready to do our quest?)," Princess Kenny asked as Jessie nodded.
"Yeah, I am-Wait, why are you fat?" Jessie asked before yelping in pain as a pissed-off Kenny slaps him.
"Mmmm?! Mmmm mmm mmm!? Mmm mmm mmm! Mmmm mmm mmm mm mm mmmm! Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm! (Fat?! How dare you!? I'm not fat! I'm pregnant with my rape baby! One that you promised to take care of!)," Princess Kenny screamed furiously as a bewildered Heidi turned to Jessie.
"I'm sorry, but what?" Heidi asked with a giggle as Jessie's face flushed in embarrassment.
"Oh, yeah, Princess Kenny was 'raped' yesterday, and I promise to take care of her baby."
"Awww, that's sweet." Heidi says while hugging his arm as a jealous Princess Kenny went over to separate him.
"Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmmmm! Mmmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmmm! (Stay away from him, you hussy! Warrior Jessie is my man!)," Princess Kenny says while hugging his arm tightly as Jessie gave her a deadpanned look.
"Kenny, as I said yesterday, stop acting so extra." Jessie says with an annoyed tone, embarrassed by her actions as he was mortified to hear Heidi giggling at them.
"Its, okay, Girlfriend, I understand. Don't worry, I won't get in your way. You two make a cute couple." Heidi says with a snort and a laugh as Princess Kenny nodded with a satisfied huff while Jessie groaned loudly and facepalmed as Prince Karen turned to smile at Heidi.
"Oh, hey, Heidi."
"Hey, Karen." Heidi greeted as Jessie gave her a curious look. "Karen is friends with my little sister."
"So, your Dad owns a restaurant, and you have a little sister? I guess that I'm learning a lot about you, huh?"
"Hopefully not too much...you know why...no, I don't hate you...or you...or any of you! Just please be quiet!" An annoyed Heidi hissed to herself quietly as Jessie's superhearing was able to pick up what she was saying as he gave her a strange look, wondering why she was talking to herself, but decided to not say anything about it for now as the Group then walked ahead.
"Mmm, mmm mmm mmmm mmmm mm mm mmmmm? Mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmmm? (So, what are we supposed to do again? And why are you dressed as an Emo?)," Princess Kenny asked with a raised eyebrow while still holding onto Jessie's arm as he was able to shake her off, and the blue-haired boy sighs in annoyance just as the Group walked out of the South Park U-STOR-IT Facility as they walked over to the nearest Fast Travel Flag.
"Well, the Goths won't have me recruit them unless I dress up as a Goth, give them coffee, and smokes. Butters and I already did the majority of our main quest. All that is left to do is to get the smokes." Jessie says as Prince Karen was about to speak up, but shut up as Princess Kenny gave him a pointed look, knowing how mad their Dad gets when someone takes away his smokes as Prince Karen pouted but nodded. "Luckily, I know where to get them," Jessie says while walking over to press the Fast Travel Flag, summoning Timmy as he drove them all towards the destroyed City Sushi and then drove off as, after collecting a Brocorri Chinpokomon that was lying on the snow, the Gang made their way towards Jimbo's Guns and spotted a group of Sixth Graders smoking in an alleyway. "Hello, Sixth Graders. So, I heard from the grapevine that you guys sell cigarettes, right? Well, my friends and I wonder if you can sell us some-,"
"Awww, look, guys, it's a group of stupid forthees."
"Ha, ha, what a group of stupid babies."
"Yeah, and look at that stupid Goth with blue hair. Hey, Douchebag, the Anime Convention was last week." All of the Six Graders said as they laughed immaturely.
"...Insult my hair again, I fucking dare you." Jessie says with a threatening growl as Heidi and the others shared knowing looks.
"What? Did I hurt your feelings by insulting your stupid blue-AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" One of the Sixth Graders says insultingly before screaming in pain as a furious Jessie activated his Bull Rush Move and pulled out a Football Helmet as he swiftly puts it on and then rushed forward as Jessie collided headfirst with the Sixth Graders's groin, breaking his balls as he was sent flying back and crash against a dumpster with a high-pitched pain moan.
"Mmmm, mmm mmm mmmmm. Mmmm mmm mmmm (Heidi, stay behind us. We got this)," Kenny says to Heidi, who nodded and took a couple of steps back as she wished to be able to join in the fight, but had left behind her Level 4 Alien Gun back at her room as the McCormick Siblings stepped forward just as the Sixth Grades got into their battle stances as Princess Kenny decided to activate her new Unicorn Stampede Move and raised her hands as a rainbow aura covered her body, and Kenny was able to summon a horde of Unicorns as they appeared onto the scene and neighed loudly as they all proceed to trample all of the Sixth Grades, severely injuring them as Jessie turned to her.
"Nice one, Princess." Jessie complimented as Princess Kenny winked at him while blowing him a kiss with the blue-haired boy shivering in disgust as the group then noticed the Sixth Graders slowly getting up from the floor while trembling in pain as Prince Karen decided to finish him by stepping forward and pulling out his sword as he activated his Sword in the Stone Move and proceeds to stab it down onto the ground as Prince Karen then lets out a loud battle cry and swung his sword forward, creating a huge white shockwave that traveled over to the Sixth Graders and collided against them, sending them all flying back as they flew through the air and disappeared from sight as they left behind a twinkle.
"Whoa." An amazed Heidi says as Prince Karen turned to giggle at her while Jessie nodded at her in satisfaction before making his way over to rob the Six Grader that had busted balls as he looted him and was able to find the pack of smokes, 60 Cents, and a Level 7 Zippe Lighter Patch as Jessie was quick to equip it onto his Long Bow after trading his Level 5 Shattered Anal Brobe Patch with his new Level 7 Zippe Lighter Patch.
"Alright, Gang, I got the smokes, so let's-,"
"Well, well, well, what are you kids supposed to be? Some kind of Knights of the Round Table shit?" A Grown Man says while exiting Skeeter's Wine Bar as he made his way over to the surprised Kids. The Man is a 46-year-old Male with black eyes, frizzily huge ginger hair, thick frizzy orange eyebrows, huge ears, a big nose, a fat double chin, Caucasian Skin, an overweight build, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved high-collard buttoned up magenta coat with two cyan pockets, a brown belt with a gray belt buckle, long black pants, and black shoes. His name is Skeeter, the Owner and Bartender of Skeeter's Wine Bar. "I don't take lightly to you Kids trying to break into my Bar."
"Wait, what?" A confused Jessie asked while he and the others turned their heads and spotted a window leading to the bar as the Kids panicked and shakes their heads. "No, no, sir, we're not trying to break into your bar."
"Mmmm, mm'mm mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm (Yeah, we're just trying to buy a pack of smokes)," Princess Kenny says with Skeeter glaring down at the Kids sternly as an annoyed Prince Karen and Heidi swatted Princess Kenny's sides. "Mmmm! Mmm mmm mmm! Mmm mmm! (Hey! Don't hit me! I'm pregnant!),"
"You're what?!" A shocked Skeeter asked as Princess Kenny nodded and pointed at Jessie.
"Mmmm, mmm mmm mmm mm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm (Yeah, and he's going to be my new Baby Daddy)," Princess Kenny says while walking over to grab Jessie's arm and kissed his cheek as the irritated blue-haired boy pushed her off before turning to Skeeter.
"Look, Man, what can we do to not have you call our Parents?" Jessie asked as Skeeter hummed in thought and placed his hands on his chin.
"Hmmm, well, recently, I got stuck with a godamn Health Code Violation because I got Rats in the basement. If you Kids can kill them, I won't call your Parents."
"Ewww, Rats, seriously?" Heidi says with a disgusted tone as Prince Karen turned to her.
"Oh, don't worry. Rats are actually really fluffy and cute. I even have one as a pet back at home." Prince Karen says with a smile as Jessie and Heidi gave him a disturbed look but didn't say anything as Skeeter leads them into his bar and Jessie looked around as he perked up at the sight of a Flowerpotamus Chinpokomon and used his Longbow to snipe it out of the shelf that it was residing as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and Jessie was quick to pull out his phone as he saw that he had leveled up to Level 8 and swiftly pressed onto the Abilities Tap as Jessie decided to level up his Assault and Battery Move to Level 4 as he can now restore a small amount of HP with each hit and Jessie also noticed that he got a new ability, which was Horn of Irritation as the blue-haired boy can now strip buffs from his targets while taunting all foes as it also forces them to fight him recklessly without their special abilities.
"Alright, so how are we going to do this?" Heidi asked after she and the others made their way over to the Basement Door and opened it.
"I have an idea. Princess Kenny? Use one of your moves to summon all of the rats in the basement and come up here. I will handle the rest." Jessie instructed as Princess Kenny nodded and activated her Furry Friends Move as she began singing elegantly and attracted all of the Rats in the basement towards her as they all climbed up to appear in the bar, and Jessie was quick to pull out his Airhorn as he then turned to his friends.
"I advise that all of you cover your ears." Jessie advises while pulling out his football helmet and puts it on to help muffle his ears from the incoming loud sounds as Heidi, Kenny, and Karen nod while covering their ears just as Jessie pressed onto his Airhorn as the blue-haired boy sends out a loud horn sound and a big soundwave blast impacted against all of the Rats, causing them all to shriek in extreme pain and agony as Jessie continued pressing his Airhorn repeatedly with the Rats being unable to bear the loud sounds anymore as they blew up into a billion of pieces and Rat guts and blood as the Kids winced at what they saw in surprise and disgust.
"Whoa, you Kids already killed those Rats? Damn, if you all ain't Noble Knights after all. Alright, Kids, you're all off the hook. I won't call your Parents." Skeeter says with the Kids perking up at what he said as they nodded and made their way out of the bar just as Jessie's Phone Notification Sound rang out as he briefly pulled it out to see that Skeeter and the Bartender in the bar sending him friend requests as Jessie accepted them both, but then flinched as he noticed that Mr. Slave had sent him a post saying, 'Hey, sweetie, I was able to give Ms Cartman her package, but I was wondering when you will be able to give mine?' and Jessie replied, 'Don't worry, I'm going over to get your package right now' as he put away his phone and turned to the others.
"Alright, Gang, why don't you guys head to the school and wait for me there? I have to do something real quick."
"Okay, see you there, Jessie." Heidi says sweetly with her and the McCormick Siblings turning around to leave as Jessie made his way over to the nearest Fast Travel Flag and summoned Timmy, who had driven him all the way to the Post Office Building as Jessie told him to wait for him a bit and entered the building as the blue-haired walked over to the back of the Post Office and was able to find Mr. Slave's Package, which, of course, turned out to be a huge white dildo as Jessie rolled his eyes, but grabbed it reluctantly as he was about to leave the store, but then-
"Oh, hey, New Kid, wait up." Lola says while walking over to Jessie as she gave him a fake smile. "So I was just thinking about you lately." Lola says as Jessie gave her a surprised look.
"Wait, really?" A shocked Jessie asked with a blush as Lola nodded.
"Yeah, I mean, with you being friends with Heidi and your big social status, it made me think about how its so weird that we aren't friends yet. I know, right." Lola says with a fake laugh while walking away as Jessie watched her go with a very annoyed look on his face that didn't wash away when his phone's notification sound rang out and pulled out his phone to see that Lola had sent him a friend request as Jessie reluctantly accepted it since she was friends with Heidi.
"I'm seriously starting to think that all of the Girls in South Park are annoying bitches, except for Heidi." Jessie says to himself with a glare while walking out of the Post Office as he boarded Timmy's wagon and told him where to go as, with a loud 'Timmy!', Timmy drove him all the way over to Mr. Slave's House, and Jessie jumped off as he once again told him to wait for a bit and made his way into the house as the blue-haired boy spotted Mr. Slave sitting on the couch and walked over to silently hand him his package.
"Ooh, thanks, New Kid. My night is looking a whole lot better now." Mr. Slave says with a smile as Jessie nodded before raising an eyebrow as the Big Gay Al's Husband handed him a black whip. "Here, if you ever need my help, use this, but you can only summon me once since I have a big schedule to keep, and I can't help you with any really tough fights. I don't want to get a fissure."
"Uh...okay?" Jessie says with a raised eyebrow while pocketing the black whip as he walked out of the house and made his way over to board Timmy's Wagon as he told him where to go, and Jessie was immediately driven all the way to the South Park Elementary School as a laughing Timmy drove off just as Jessie's Phone Notification sound rang out as he pulled out his phone and saw that Mr. Slave had sent him a friend request as Jessie accepted it and saw that he had enough friends for a new Perk as the blue-haired boy was quick to press the Perk Tab and looked through the whole selection of different perks as, after looking at all of them carefully, Jessie decided to pick the 'Healing Wind' Perk, which will allow him to recover some HP each time that he performs a magic attack.
"Hey, Jessie, you're ready?" Heidi asked while she, Princess Kenny, and Prince Karen stand near the metal fence leading to the back of the school as Jessie put away his phone and nodded as he made his way to enter through the metal fence and walked over to the Goth Kids, who gave her blank looks as Michael rolled his eyes.
"Oh, joy, it's Butthole the Barbarian from the Dungeons of Dumbass." Michael says sarcastically as Jessie glared at him.
"Oh, joy, it's an Emo Punk, and, aso, if you keep talking shit, you're going to get hit, bitch." Jessie says with an equally sarcastic tone in his voice.
"WE'RE NOT FREAKING EMOS, DOUCHEBAG! WE'RE FUCKING GOTHS! GET IT RIGHT!" An enraged Michael screamed as Jessie was about to scream, 'IT'S THE SAME THING, YOU FUCKING PRICK', but his mouth was covered by Heidi as a worried Princess Kenny stepped forward.
"Mmm, mmm mmm mm mmm mmm mmm mm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. (Look, my new Baby Daddy didn't mean what he said. He just wants to know if he's goth enough for you guys to join our kingdom)," Princess Kenny says as Pete eyed Jessie up and down before turning to Michael.
"You got to admit, he looks better."
"Yeah, he's ALMOST a Goth." Henrieta pointed out as Michael scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Oh, please. Being goth isn't just about how you dress. It's a frame of MIND. It's time for you to prove that you go against society's rules." Michael says with Firkle saying a small and cute 'Yeah!' in the background as the Leader of the Goths then pulled out a large cardboard sign that reads 'Fuck the Conformists!' and walked over to hand it over to Jessie. "There's a big PTA meeting happening in an hour or so at the community center. You need to walk right into the middle of that meeting and tape this sign to their table."
"Yeah, that will prove your individuality." Pete added as Michael nodded and glared at Jessie.
"Go on, beat it, New Kid, and don't come back until you have a PICTURE of that sign taped to the PTA table."
"So, basically, in order to have you guys join us, I have to do this shit and get grounded for it?" A disbelieving Jessie asked as the Goths nodded. "Great, fucking great." Jessie says with an irritated sigh before shaking his head as he and the others turned around to leave the back of the school.
And done! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I can't wait to write the next one.
Anyway, as always, I will catch you all later.
