Hey, guys! Welcome to the next chapter of 'South Park: The Journey of Jessie Gladstone in The Stick of Truth!'. I hope that you guys will enjoy the chapter...anyway, I don't own anything except for my OCs.
NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY!
"So what do we do now?" Heidi asked curiously as we see her, Jessie, Princess Kenny, and Prince Karen walking out of the back of the South Park Elementary School as they made their way over to a nearby Fast Travel Flag. "I mean, we have an hour to kill before the PTA starts." Heidi says just as Jessie's stomach rumbled as he placed his hand on it.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving." Jessie says as Karen perked up and raised her hand.
"Oooh, me too." A beaming Prince Karen says as his older sister nodded in agreement.
"Mmmm mmm mmm mmmmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm (Me three since I'm basicaly eating for two)," Princess Kenny says while rubbing her 'pregnant' stomach as a stomach rumble sound rang out and everyone turned over to Heidi, who was holding her stomach as she blushed in embarrassment and giggled.
"He, he, I guess I'm hungry too." Heidi says sheepishly as Jessie laughed amusedly and nodded while placing his hands on his hips.
"Alright, it's settled. Let's go and eat some lunch. You think your Dad would allow us to eat in his restaurant?" Jessie asked Heidi, who shakes her head.
"No, it's more of a fancy restaurant for adults. Usually, Dad allows me to eat in there sometimes, but it's always after hours when the restaurant is empty." Heid explained with an apologetic look as Princess Kenny raised her hand.
"Mmmm mmmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm (I know of a place to eat)," Princess Kenny says as everyone turned to her.
"You do?" A curious Jessie asked as Kenny nodded.
"Mmmm, mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm (Yes, Big Daddy. I work at a place called City Wok. I usually handle delivering food to customers and whatnot. The food there is pretty good)," Princess Kenny says as Jessie made a face at his nickname but nodded.
"Alright, let's go to City Wok." Jessie says as he walked over to honk the horn, and Timmy appeared as, after telling him where to go, everyone boarded the wagon, and Timmy zoomed off as he drove them near their destination and everyone got out of the wagon as Timmy drove off and the group walked forward as Jessie and the others finally arrived at the City Wok Building as they walked in and spotted what seems to be a Chinese Man standing behind the counter.
The man is 46 years old with closed small slanted black eyes, black balding comb-over hair, thin black eyebrows, a small stumpy nose, wrinkled lines on his cheeks/chin, a single tooth sticking out from his mouth, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of an orange City Work vest with a long-sleeved high-collard white shirt underneath, a dark red bow tie, a gold watch in his right hand, long dark blue pants, and black shoes. His name is Tuong Lu Kim, the owner of the local City Wok restaurant and City Airlines.
"Welcome to City Wok. Take your order, please." An annoyed Mr. Kim says with a heavily Chinese Accent before spotting Kenny as he raised an eyebrow. "Kenny, what are you doing here? Today isn't your work day."
"Mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm (Oh, I came here with my friends to eat)," Prince Kenny explains as Mr. Kim nodded.
"Okay, what do you want?" Mr. Kim asked while glancing down and grumbled something angrily under his breath that Kenny and the others weren't able to hear, but Jessie was able to pick it up with his superhearing as he heard something about 'Godamn, Mongoloians...trying to break through my wall...' and raised an eyebrow as the disguised emo kid stepped forward.
"Hey, Sir, are you okay?" Jessie asked as Mr. Kim flinched and looked around warily as he then leans down to whisper his worries to the kids.
"Okay, look, kids, I have a big problem. You see, the city had me take down my wall several months ago, but I build another one close to my shop to keep out Mongolians and stop them from conquering me. Lately, though, they have started becoming more bolder with their attacks, and its starting to piss me off. I need to find a way to stop them from bothering me until I better fortify my wall, but I can't because I'm at work." Mr. Kim says as Jessie and the others shared a look and nod as they glanced up at him.
"If you want, sir, we can help take out the Mongolians for you." Jessie says with the others nodding in agreement as Mr. Kim perked up.
"Oh, you will? That's great, kids! If you do this for me, I will make sure to give you free shitty food!" Mr. Kim says excitedly as Jessie blinked in surprise at what he said while Kenny and the others gave him looks that read, 'We will explain later' as the disguised kid nodded. "Anyway, to get to my wall, just go out through the back. You will find the Mongolians there." Mr. Kim explained as the Kids nodded and went over to walk behind the counter as they made their way through the kitchen and were able to find the door leading to the back of the City Wok Building as Jessie and the others appeared in the back of said shop and was surprised to see a huge long gray wall standing in front of them.
"Whoa, I wonder how long it took him to build this." Jessie commented idly as the others nodded before they spotted a nearby black ladder as the Kids walked over to it and were able to climb up to the top of the wall as Jessie and the others looked over the edge with Princess Kenny pulling Prince Karen up to sit on her shoulders to get a better view as the Group glanced down and was admittedly surprised to see a small army of Mongolians standing below them, waiting to attack them as a worried Prince Karen turned to his friends.
"So how are we going to fight them exactly?" Prince Karen asked as, while the young boy was willing to fight and such, he was admittedly a bit scared of fighting an army of Mongolians.
"Yeah, I don't think that we can take them." Heidi says, mostly speaking about the McCormick Siblings, as she glanced over at Jessie, who seems to be in deep thought as he glanced down at the small army of Mongolians and was able to see that there was at least 40 People there as the superhuman boy pursed lips, knowing that he would be able to take them all out, but in doing so would have him reveal his powers to Kenny and Karen as Jessie wracked his brain to come up with a way to defeat them all without exposing himself...before beaming as an idea popped into his head.
"Don't worry, I think I have a way to defeat them all at once...I hope..." Jessie says with an awkward sweatdrop on his head as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his Rawhide Whip as, before anyone could react, Jessie proceeds to whip it.
"Ooh, this could be fun!" An excited Mr. Slave says while appearing below them with a flash of yellow light as he pulled down his zipper and, immediately, Princess Kenny placed his Little Brother down to not have him see what would happen as the Trio watched morbid curiosity/shock when a grinning Mr. Slave took off his pants and ran forward as he jumped up in mid-air and landed on top of one of the stunned Mongolians as Mr. Garisson's Former Boyfriend was able to swallow the Mongolian whole with his anus, shocking and disgusting the other Mongolians as they swiftly abanded their plans to conquer City Wok and turned around to run away as a giggling Mr. Slave said 'Jesuschrist' before teleporting away.
"..." A stunned Jessie and Princess Kenny stared at the scene with wide eyes, and their jaws dropped, both resembling SpongeBob and Patrick from that one scene in the first SpongeBob Movie as an oblivious Prince Karen was wondering what was wrong with them and Heidi looked away with an oddly emotionless mask on her face.
"...I...I...I wish that I had unseen that." A disgusted Jessie says while glancing down at his whip in horror and threw it away as a blank-faced Princess Kenny nodded.
"What? What did you see?" Prince Karen asked as Princess Kenny turned to him and shakes her head.
"Trust me, you don't want to know." Princess Kenny said as Prince Karen raised an eyebrow at her suspiciously but nodded as the McCormick Siblings started making their way down the ladder and Jessie was about to follow after them, only to stop as he noticed that Heidi hasn't moved and couldn't help but notice that Heidi's face weirdly got slimmer as her hair got darker and seems oddly a bit more mature-looking.
"Hey, Heidi, are you coming?" Jessie asked with Heidi suddenly stood up straight and, as fast as a blink, her physical features went back to normal as Heidi looked around confusedly before glancing up as she stayed quiet for a few seconds and frowned a bit as Heidi then sighs but smiled as she nodded.
"Thanks for that, Jade." A thankful Heidi says as Jessie tilted his head confusedly.
"I'm sorry, what?" A puzzled Jessie asked as Heidi flinched before turning to smile at him awkwardly.
"Oh, uh, it's nothing. Let's go." Heidi says as Jessie tilted his head confusedly, but nodded as the lovebirds then climbed down the ladder and they meet up with the McCormick Siblings and the Group then made their way into City Wok as they walked through the building, and meets up with Mr. Kim as Jessie taps his leg to get his attention.
"Back so soon? Did you already defeated Mongolians?" A surprised Mr. Kim asked as the Kids nodded. "How?" Mr. Kim asked curiously as the Kids briefly had a flashback of Mr. Slave shoving one of the Mongolians up his asshole and shivering in disgust in fear as Jessie and the others shakes their heads.
"Trust me, you don't want to know." A pale-skinned Jessie says with a haunted look on his face as Mr. Kim raised an eyebrow at him confusedly but nodded slowly.
"Well, anyway, you kids do good work. I'll help you fuck up any Mongolian you want, but no bosses, though. They are too scary. If you need me, just summon me with this, but I'm only available to help you once. I have a business to run." Mr. Kim says while handing Jessie a miniature gong as he raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Anyway, want to eat some shitty food?" Mr. Kim asked as Jessie and the kids shared a look and made a face as they turned back to him.
"Thanks, but we're not hungry anymore." Jessie says as he and the others had lost their appetites due to what they saw, and who could blame them?
"Alright." Mr. Kim says with a shrug as, before everyone left, Jessie spent the next 10 minutes looting the place and was able to find some reddish-brown dye, 1.00 Dollars, twenty cents, and a Lambtron Chinpokomon Doll as the Gang then made their way out of City Wok.
"So now what?" Heidi asked just as Jessie's phone rang out as he pulled it out and saw that he got a text from Father Maxi saying, 'Do not despair, for many try to find Jesus, but often overlook the most obvious place to find them, but the soul that does not abandon its search will surely be rewarded with his company. Remember that', and Jessie blushed in embarrassment as he remembered about the mission that Father Maxi gave him and turned to the others.
"Well, after seeing a gay man swallow a Mongolian whole with his anus, I think we all need to find Jesus. Let's go to the Church." Jessie says as the others nodded with Prince Karen giving him an odd look as, one Fast Travel Flag over, we see the gang appearing in front of the South Park Church and walked over to open the doors as Jessie and the others made their way into the building as they looked around and blinked in surprise when they heard what seems to be a giggle.
"What's that?" Prince Karen asked as everyone shrugged and Jessie honed in on the giggle and was able to find out where it was coming from, which was behind the podium at the back of the building as the superhuman boy walked over to peer behind it and raised an eyebrow as Jessie found no one hiding around. Pursing his lips a bit, Jessie continued hearing the giggle as he looked around but wasn't able to see anyone, but what interested him a bit is that the spotlights placed near the podium were shining in the opposite directions.
"Hmmm...interesting." Jessie says while placing his hand on his chin as he hummed thoughtfully.
"Mmm mmm, mmm mmm (What's up, Big Daddy?)," Princess Kenny asked while she and the others walked up to Jessie, who turned to give her a flat look.
"Kenny, don't be extra. Anyway, I noticed that these spotlights are weirdly turned on, but the lights are on. What's more, is that they are pointing in different directions."
"Maybe its some kind of puzzle?" Heidi pointed out as Jessie hummed a bit while looking around as he nodded.
"Yeah, I think it is. Hold on." Jessie says while walking over to rearrange the spotlights to shine on the podium as he then turned to his friends. "Karen? Be a dear and turned off the lights for me." Jessie says as Prince Karen nodded and goes over to turn off the lights as the Kids were surprised to see the shadow of a man behind the podium as a curious Jessie goes over to peek behind it and was shocked to see his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ hiding behind the podium.
The holy figure crouching before him was a 2028-year-old Male Deity with black eyes, long brown hair with a yellow halo hovering above his head, thin brown eyebrows, a small nose, a sharp chin with a brown goatee that was connected to his hair, Light Skin, a muscularly slim build, and his outfit consists of a long white robe with a red sash that goes from his left shoulder to his right hip, a brown rope wrapped around his waist, and brown sandals. His name is Jesus Christ, God's son, our Lord and Saviour, the founder of Catholicism, and a member of the superhero group Super Best Friends.
"Jesus Christ! It's Jesus Christ! My Lord and Savior!" Jessie screamed while bowing to him as he held up his hands in a prayer formation.
"Rise, my son." Jesus says with a warm smile as Jessie shakily got up from the floor. "Now, remember, I will always be at the side of those who have found me. If you are in trouble and need me to repent sinners, I will give you this to be able to summon me once since my schedule is busy, but I can't help against bosses, though. They're scary." Jesus says before disappearing with a flash of white light as a stunned Jessie looked around and spots some kind of rosary in his hands as the superhuman boy's phone's notification sound rang out and curiously pulled out his phone as Jessie saw that he got friend requests from Father Maxi and Jesus as he was quick to accept them and saw that he got two new posts on Facebook as one of them was from Mr. Kim saying, 'You need my help, you summon me. I'll be all over your enemies like smog on Shanghai', and Jessie snorted a bit at what he wrote before noticing that the next post was made by Father Maxi as it says, 'I'm glad that you found Christ, my son. Be ye ever vigilant, for He may be found in the unlikeliest of places in times of need. I found Him in my chimney once', and Jessie saw that Jesus liked the post.
"Whoa, this is sick! I have Jesus as a Facebook Friend! This is awesome!" Jessie says with a grin as he shared a high five with Heidi, and the McCormick Siblings congratulated him before they turned to leave as the group appeared outside of the Church.
"So what now?" Heidi asked as Jessie glanced down at his phone and saw that he had a few side quests to finish as he puts the phone away and turned to her.
"Well, we have 40 Minutes left before the PTA Meeting starts, so I might as well finish a few sidequests that I have." Jessie says as the others nodded and walked over to honk the Fast Travel Flag as Timmy appeared, and Jessie told him various destinations that he wants him to take them as Timmy nodded, and their first stop is in front of Kevin Stoley's House as Jessie pulled out his bow and sniped at the KKK Flag, breaking it apart as an angry Kenny and Karen asked him why he did that, and Jessie lied to them that it was to piss off Cartman as a harmless prank and the McCormick Siblings gave him a suspicious look, but nodded as Timmy then drove over to multiple other places like Stark's Pond, the South Park Park, Cartman's House, and the Ranch to destroy all of the KKK Banners as their last stop was in front of the News Station, and everyone got out of the wagon as Timmy then drove off.
"Alright, this should be the last one." Jessie says with a smile while going over to destroy the last KKK Banner as, immediately, his phone's notification sound rang out and was quick to pull out his phone to see that he had gotten three new posts on Facebook as one of them was from Jesus saying, 'Guys, you're heart is the first place everybody looks. I'm not going to hide there. Give me some credit, okay?' and the second one was from Dogpoo saying, 'Our territory is restored. I am honored to friend you, Dragonborn' as he had also sent him a friend request, and Jessie accepted it as the last post nearly gave him a heart attack when he noticed that it was written by Cartman as it says, 'FUCK YOU for smashing all of my fucking banners, ASSHOLE! That's what I want you to tell the guy who did this once you catch him for me, Douchebag'.
"Phew, that was close. I thought my plan was ruined, but it seems that Fatass is still oblivious to what is going on." Jessie thought to himself in relief as he then put away his phone and entered the News Station with the others following after him as the disguised emo spent the next few minutes looting the place and was able to find 1.00 Dollars and 20 Cents, and a (Small) Health Potion as Jessie also went over to talk with a vain girl named Esther, who was excited about being interviewed for a piece on youth narcissism and couldn't wait to read about herself as she had also sent Jessie a friend request that he accepted it.
"Geez, Heidi, I'm starting to think that you're the only normal and nice girl in this town." Jessie says to Heidi, who smiled playfully as she elbowed him.
"He, he, thanks for the compliment." Heidi says while looking away nervously when he mentioned 'normal' as an offended Princess Kenny turned to Jessie.
"Mmm mmm mmmm (What about me?)," Princess Kenny asked with a glare while placing her hands on her hip as Jessie rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Sorry, you're also nice and normal." Jessie stated deadpanedly as Princess Kenny nodded in satisfaction, and the group walked out of the News Station as they were about to leave but stopped when Prince Karen spotted something.
"Wait, hold on, did you guys notice that the manhole cover is opened?" Prince Karen asked while pointing ahead as he and the others noticed that a nearby manhole cover was opened as it had a trail of cheesy poofs leading up to it and Jessie pursed his lips curiously as he went over to it and peered down through the manhole cover as the superhuman boy was surprised to see a kid named Quald sitting below.
"Kid, what the fuck are you doing down there?" A surprised Jessie asked with a sharp glare as Quald glanced up at him and smiled.
"Filmore told me to pick this spot? Pretty good, huh?" Quald asked with a cheerful demeanor as Jessie glared down at him sternly.
"Yeah, and disgusting and dangerous. Get up here before you get eaten by crocodiles or something." Jessie chastises as Quald nodded and climbed up the ladder as he made his way out of the sewers.
"My Friends texted me that you found all of us, so you win! Here's a reward!" A beaming Quald says while handing Jessie a Level 8 Valkyrie Patch as he then walked off and Jessie's phone notification sound rang out as the disguised emo pulled it out to see that he had gotten friend requests from all of the Kindergarderns that he found and Jessie also saw that he had leveled up to Level 9 and was quick to check his Abilities Section as the blue-haired boy leveled up his Roshambo Move to Level 4, which means that his precision gonad kicks can now also inflict Gross Out Damage as Jessie then checked the time and was surprised to see that their little adventure in finishing their sidequests was more time consuming than he thought as an hour and fifteen minutes occurred as Jessie swiftly put away his phone and turned to his friends.
"Alright, guys, enough dilly-dallying. The PTA has started, so let's go over there and do what the stupid Goths want me to do." Jessie says as Heidi nodded while the McCormick Siblings flinched as they shared worried looks.
"Mmm, mmm, mmm mmm, mmmmm, mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm, mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm mmm (Uh, yeah, no offense, handsome, but there's no point in all of us getting grounded, so Prince Karen and I would be going back to Kupa Keep),"
"Bye, guys." Prince Karen says with a smile before grabbing onto Princes Kenny's hand as they walked off, leaving behind the Duo as Jessie watched them go with an annoyed look on his face as Heidi reached over to place her hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"Don't worry. I would still help you out, Jessie." Heidi says reassuringly as Jessie smiled at her and nodded as, one Fast Travel Flag later, the lovebirds appeared in front of the South Park Community Center and went over to open the doors with Jessie holding onto the sign that the Goths gave him earlier as he and Heidi were surprised to see a group of adults sitting on multiple chairs and were repeatedly screaming 'RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE!' as a group of adults, which included Randy, could be seen sitting in front of them at a long table.
"It isn't RIGHT, I tell you!" An angry Gerald screamed as he stood up from his chair. "Out of NOWHERE, this HUGE Taco Bell is being built, and now our CHILDREN are missing precious school time!"
"...Ugh, I really can't believe that everyone honestly believes the Governtment's stupid cover-up story." Jessie says while facepalming himself as Heidi closed her eyes and sighs heavily, but didn't say anything since she figured everyone would be stupid enough to believe that bullshit cover story.
"Parents, we've been assured by the builders that they are working to fix whatever problems they've encountered, and school should be able to resume soon." One of the people sitting at the table said with a thick Minnesotan Accent. The person is a 38-year-old Woman with black eyes, curly blonde hair in a perm style, thin dark blonde eyebrows, a small nose, rosy lipstick, a sharp chin, Cacuasian Skin, a slim build, and her outfit consists of a long-sleeved pink jacket with a white shirt underneath, long black pants, and black shoes. Her name is Victoria, the Former Principal of South Park Elementary, and she is the Current Superintendent of South Park Elementary.
"Yeah, so don't get your panties in a twist." The Second Person on the table said with an annoyed tone while pretending to speak through the hand puppet in his left hand. The Man is 41 years old with black eyes, a mostly bald head with gray hair on the sides, thin gray eyebrows, a small nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a pair of black-framed glasses, long-sleeved green jacket, long dark green pants, and black shoes as he could be seen carrying around a hand puppet on his left hand named Mr. Hat as it resembles a person's torso and head with the puppet wearing a purple shirt, a brown beard, and mustache with a tall red and white hat which his eyes are placed on. His name is Herbert Garrison, the South Park Elementary 4th Grade Teacher.
"Mr. Hat, please." Mr. Garrison says while pretending to be offended and shocked as all of the Parents immediately got angry by this and started yelling, 'RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE!' again.
"Resume soon?! Who do they think they are?!" An angry Mr. Scotch screamed while standing up from his chair. "They think we're gonna see a Taco Bell as being more important than our kids' educations?!"
"What if it's not REALLY a Taco Bell we're dealing with?" Randy asked while standing up from his table as Jessie sighs in relief.
"Oh, thank god, someone is actually acting smart here...even though he saw the spaceship firsthand, but whatever." Jessie whispered to Heidi, who nodded before the Duo flinched in surprise as Randy turned to them.
"Thanks for coming, Kids. Everyone, you know who Heidi is, but that New Kid standing next to her is that kid whose family just moved to town. His name is Jessie Gladstone, and he, Heidi, and I have become very close friends after a shared personal experience." Randy says with everyone turning to look at the kids as Jessie and Heidi felt shy and awkward from the stares that they were getting.
"Wait, what kind of personal experience?" An angry man asked while getting up from his chair. The Man is a 35-year-old male with chiseled features as he has black eyes, short slick blonde hair with two bangs hanging down in the front, a big pronounced nose with a blonde mustache, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a top-heavy muscular figure with a fat stomach, and his outfit consists of a short-sleeved green shirt, a black belt with a golden belt buckle, long black pants, and black shoes. His name is Thomas Turner, Heidi's Father and the owner of the South Park 'Eat my meat' restaurant.
"Hi, Daddy." Heidi says sweetly while waving at him as Jessie glanced at her and her father in shock.
"Wait, that's your Dad?! He's jacked as fuck!" A surprised Jessie screamed as Heidi turned to smile at him cheerfully.
"Yeah, he hits the gym a lot." A beaming Heidi says, oblivious to the fact that her Father narrowed his eyes at Jessie, not liking him being so close to his Daughter as he cracked his knuckles and was gearing to talk to him but was stopped by his Wife as she shakes her head at him. The woman is a 33-year-old female with black eyes, long ash-brown hair that reaches past her shoulders, thin ash-brown eyebrows, a small nose, wears red lipstick, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slender build, and her outfit consists of a short-sleeved pink blouse with a purple undershirt, a black belt with a golden belt buckle, long blue smirt, and black shoes. Her name is Nancy Turner, Heidi's Mom.
"Uh-huh..." Jessie says with a big sweatdrop on his head as he winced at the sight of Thomas giving him the, 'If you hurt my Daughter, I will break every bones in your body' look.
"Well, anyway, these children and I witnessed something last night, and I'd like you to hear their story. Go ahead, kids." Randy said as Jessie and Heidi remained quiet. "Tell them, you know, about all of the...you know, go ahead. Tell them. Tell them what happened." Randy says with a small glare as Jessie and Heidi still remained quiet as an irritated Mr. Scotch threw up his arms in exasperation.
"This is a waste of everyone's time! If the PTA isn't going to do something about Taco Bell taking over, then the rest of us parents will!" Steven yelled as he and the other Parents all turned around to leave the Community Center, leaving behind the Kids, the PTA, and Mr. Mackey as an annoyed Randy walked towards them and spotted the sign in Jessie's hands as he took it away from him.
"Look, I KNOW how you're feeling, ok? But THIS isn't going to solve anything. Why didn't you two told everyone what happened last night?" Randy asked with a glare as Jessie and Heidi gave them flat looks.
"First off, I REFUSE to tell everyone that I was rapped anally by aliens." Jessie says with a glare while rubbing his sore ass as Heidi stepped forward and placed her hands on her hips as she glared up at Stan's Dad.
"And I didn't want to tell anyone what happened because then they would ask questions on how we escaped, and I didn't want to tell everyone Jessie's secret." Heidi pointed out as Randy blinked a couple of times.
"...Okay, you two make a very good point, but still, we've got to get inside that 'Taco Bell' and find out what's really going on." Randy says with a stern glare as Jessie nodded in agreement while crossing his arms.
"Agreed, I was planning to infiltrate that 'Taco Bell' anyway." Jessie says with a serious tone as Randy nodded in approval.
"Good, if you kids help me with that, and I'll help you with this," Randy says while gesturing at the sign and then puts it away. "Now, Jessie, I saw you on the ship and your amazing power. You have pretty good control over your farts."
"Wait, what?" A bewildered Heidi asked with a raised eyebrow as Jessie flinched and his face flushed in embarrassment as Randy nodded.
"Meet me in the bathroom. It's time for you to learn some REAL power." Randy says while turning around to walk into the Boys' Bathroom.
"What was that about?" Heidi asked as Jessie turned to shrug at her with a fake confused look on his face.
"Don't know, but why don't you wait here until I'm done?" Jessie asked as Heidi nodded and went over to sit down on a chair as the disguised emo went over to the Boys' Bathroom and walked inside as he closed the door behind him and turned around as Jessie was surprised to see Randy wearing a white GI.
"I can tell you have potential, but you are undisciplined. Let me show you what I mean. Come at me. Try and fart on me. Come on!" Randy commanded while taking a karate pose as Jessie eyed him oddly.
"Okay, but I have to ask, how did you know that I use Fart Magic? I haven't used it at all in the Alien Spaceship." Jessie says as Randy waved his hand around absentmindedly.
"It doesn't matter. Just fart on me, Jessie." Randy ordered urgently as Jessie gave him a flat look but nodded as his face then scrunched a bit, and takes a deep breath through his anus as his stomach rumbled a bit.
"Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to Randy, who easily deflected it away as he then got out of his kata.
"Hai-CHAA! See that? Your fart's over there somewhere. Didn't come close. So...what do you do when people can block your farts?"
"Kick them in the dick?" Jessie suggested as Randy blinked a couple of times in surprise with a big sweatdrop trailing down his head.
"...Well, yes...but you must also learn to control your farts to move and release at a specific time and place. I am going to teach you a fart called...the Sneaky Squeaker."
"...Alright, fuck it, teach me." Jessie says with a shrug, not even bothering to ask how Randy knows Fart Magic as his Sensei nodded.
"Good, now, the Sneaky Squeaker will become your greatest ally. Don't believe me? Try and block my attack." Randy said while getting into a fighting stance as he then twirled around and his face scrunched up a bit as Stan's Dad farted into his hand and then threw his smelly projectile forward as he somehow manipulated it to fly over to appear behind a bewildered and detonated as it let out a loud farting noise and a bewildered Jessie turned his head in disbelief as Randy used this chance to try and ran over to punch his face left and right.
"You see that? I distracted you. Distracting your opponents is key to battle." Randy says as a glaring Jessie rubbed his cheeks, not really feeling injured by Randy's attacks, but it didn't mean that he wasn't annoyed by this as Jessie then perked up, forming a genius idea for revenge as he grinned slyly.
"Sneaky Squeaker!" Jessie whispered-yelled under his breath while twirling around as his face scrunched up a bit and proceeds to fart into his hand as he then threw his smelly projectile forward and was able to manipulate it to fly over and appear behind an oblivious Randy and his fart cloud detonated, letting out a loud farting noise as a bewildered Randy turned around to check out the strange noise and a grinning Jessie zoomed forward to deliver a strong kick to a distracted Randy's nuts, causing him to squeal in pain and dropped down onto the ground as he moaned.
"Argh, fuck! My balls! What did you do that for?!" An angry Randy asked while cradling his bruised privates as Jessie glared at him with crossed arms.
"That was for attacking me earlier and for what you said to your Wife."
"Ugh...okay...that's a fair point, but still, great work with using the Sneaky Squeaker." Randy says with a groan while getting up from the floor as he composed himself from the pain. "Now, use what I've taught you to sneak inside that Taco Bell with Heidi and find out what they're up to and then report back here. And no matter WHAT happens...never...ever...fart on anyone's balls."
"Seriously, why can't I fart on anyone's balls? What's the big deal about it?" An annoyed Jessie asked while waving his hands around in exasperation and confusion as Randy gave him a deadly serious glare.
"Just don't do it, trust me. Now, go out there." Randy says while walking out of the bathroom as Jessie rolled his eyes a bit before making his way out of the bathroom as he spotted Heidi sitting nearby and walked over to her.
"Hey, how did it go?" Heidi asked curiously while jumping out of the chair as Jessie shrugged.
"Pretty good, but we now have a mission to sneak into the 'Taco Bell' and find out what's really going on." Jessie says while placing his hand on his hip as Heidi nodded.
"Understood. Let's go." Heidi says as Jessie nodded back, and the lovebirds then made their way over to an extremely exhausted Mr. Mackey, who was sitting behind a small table filled with junk as he walked over to him.
"Oh, hey, kids, I used to have a hoarding problem, mkay, but I got past it. Now I can just throw things away." Mr. Mackey says while rubbing his weirdly sore bottom as he then reached underneath the table and pulls out a large laptop as he handed it over to Jessie. "Would you mind throwing this away for me? I just need you to throw this away somewhere very specific. I'll show you on your map."
"Alright, sure." Jessie says with a shrug while pocketing the laptop as Mr. Mackey nodded and also gives him his Storage Key as he then shows off his collection of junk to Jessie, who eyed them all curiously as Jessie beamed at the sight of a Level 9 Rod of Major Boobage, a Level 7 Batdadarang, a Gophermon Chinpokomon, a Level 8 Page of Unfinished Homework Patch, a Level 7 Large Shield Sticker Patch, a Level 6 Weightlifting Patch, and a Level 7 Fingerless Glove Patch as all of them cost 60.00 Dollars and 90 Cents.
"Nice, great haul this time around." Jessie says with a smirk as, after handing his new Teacher the money, he buys all of the items, and the superhuman boy decided to equip his new Level 7 Large Shield Sticker onto his Level 9 Rod of Major Boobage, which will now allow him to remove additional 3 shields with his attacks as Jessie then equipped his Level 7 Zipper Lighter onto his Level 7 Batdadarang and it will now allow him to add 25 Fire Damage on a perfect attack. "Alright, time to go." Jessie says as Heidi nodded and the lovebirds got out of the Community Center as, before they went to their main mission, the Duo walked over to honk the Fast Travel Flag to summon Timmy and told him where to go as he drove them towards the U-STOR-IT Facility.
"Okay, stay here for a bit, Timmy. We won't be long." Heidi says as Timmy nodded and watched on as the Duo walked into the facility and made their way over to Mr. Mackey's Storage Room as Jessie used the key to open it and deadpanned as he and Heidi spotted a huge room filled with junk inside.
"Not a hoarder, my ass." Jessie says while rolling his eyes as he took out the laptop that Mr. Mackey gave him and threw it into the pile carelessly as he dusted off his hands and was about to leave but stopped as Jessie spotted a large treasure chest inside and went over to open it as he perked up at the sight of a Ferasnarf Chinpokomon Doll, Wings Facepaint, a (Large) Health Potion, and Mackey's PO Box Key inside as Jessie pocketed them all. "Okay, looks like we have to make one more spot." Jessie says as Heidi nodded and, after walking out of Mr. Mackey's Storage Room, the Duo made their way out of the U-STOR-It Facility as they went over to board Timmy, who took them to their next destination, which was the Post Office as the lovebirds got out of the wagon.
"Wait for a bit, Timmy. We will be back." Jessie says as Timmy nods and the Duo walked into the Post Office as the disguised emo walked over to the PO Boxes Slots and was able to find the one that belonged to Mr. Mackey as he used his new keys to open it and was able to find a Level 6 Small Battery Patch inside, which will add 25 Shock Damage on a perfect attack as a grinning Jessie was quick to equip it onto his Level 7 Batdadarang.
After that was done, Jessie and Heidi then walked out of the Post Office and boarded the wagon as Timmy quickly drove them towards City Wok as the lovebirds quickly got out of the wagon and waved him goodbye as Timmy drove off and Jessie and Heidi walked ahead as, after a few minutes of walking, they were able to arrive near where the South Park Mall used to be, and the kids weren't surprised to see a huge crowd of people gathering around on the mall parking lot as there was a small army base placed around the crashed and destroyed alien spaceship, which comically had a huge 'TACO BELL' sign on them as various Army Soldiers can be seen patrolling the area and driving back the crowd as a man in a suit, clearly a Government Agent, walked forward to pull out a bullhorn to address the civilians.
"Folks, there's nothing to be concerned with here. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary is going on. We're simply getting ready for the grand opening of a new Taco Bell. New Taco Bell opening soon, very big Taco Bell. It's gonna open in a few weeks. Thank you." The Government Agent says as Jessie made sure to keep his low and reached over to grab Heidi's hand to pull her into the crowd to blend in and not draw attention.
"Ah, wait, will this Taco Bell be serving Enchiritos?"
"...What?" The Government Agent asked in confusion and shock.
"Well, is it gonna be a FULL MENU Taco Bell or is gonna be one of those Taco Bell/KFC combos thing?"
"...We got a guy out here asking a lot of questions." The Government Agent says into his earpiece quietly, but Jessie was able to hear him with his superhearing as what he heard next made his blood boil in fury and anger.
"Just stick to the script as laid out in the protocol." Russel Saunders's voice rang out as Jessie gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as Heidi spotted this and raised an eyebrow.
"But he wants to know if the Taco Bell will have enchiritos or not, sir."
"...Fuck...we don't have a contingency for that. Alright, I will have Michael get rid of the threat." Russel says as the Government Agent nodded.
"Look, i-it's a simple question. If this is gonna be a HUGE Taco Bell, will it serve enchiritos? I think we have a right to-Argh!" The Man says before grunting in pain as someone sniped his ass with the bullet being able to graze his cheek as the now frightened Man reached out to grab what seems to be his wife's arm, and they ran off.
"Oh, wow, what a total random freak accident that was not our fault at all. Folks, look, we know you're all very excited, but for your SAFETY, we ask you stay clear of the construction site, or else you will get shot with a bullet...not by us but by something else." The Government Agent as everyone nodded, and the crowd dispersed, leaving behind the Kids as a concerned Heidi turned to Jessie.
"Hey, are you okay?" Heidi asked worriedly as Jessie took deep breaths and was able to compose himself as he calmed down and turned to his crush as Jessie nodded.
"Y-Yeah, it's okay, don't worry about it. Anyway, we need to get inside that base, but we can't do this alone. We need some backup, and I know the right people to call." Jessie says with a serious glare on his face as he pulled out his phone and began texting Stan and Jimmy. "Hey, it's Jessie. Remember those favors that you guys owe me? Well, my friend and I need some help infiltrating a base, and-,"
"Don't worry, Sir Jessie, we will always be ready to help you out." Stan says while appearing out of nowhere behind the Lovebirds with Jimmy thanks to the help of two dust gray clouds as Jessie and Heidi jumped in surprise.
"Jesus! Where the fuck did you come from?!" Jessie asked in shock as Stan eyed him oddly.
"What? You summoned us, and we're ready to help you out carrying your mission." Stan stated matter-of-factly as Jessie stared at him incredulously.
"But...okay, whatever." A blank-faced Jessie says as Jimmy did a double take at the sight of his new outfit.
"W-Why do you look like an E-Emo?" Jimmy asked as Jessie rolled his eyes and shakes his head as he waved his hand around carelessly.
"Long story, but anyway, Heidi and I need your help in infiltrating that base over there." Jessie says while pointing over at the army base as the Duo nodded.
"Understood, so we need to figure out a way to distract those Guards so that we can sneak inside." Stan says as Jessie nodded before wincing as he figured out a way to distract the Guards, but seriously did not want to fart in front of his crush as the blue-haired boy bit his lip and struggled to come up with a way to do this discretely, only to sigh heavily as Jessie realized that she already knows that he can teleport with his anal probe and nothing is more embarrassed than that as Jessie stepped forward.
"I know of a way, but I suggest that you all cover your noses." Jessie says as his friends raised an eyebrow but did as he instructed as the blue-haired boy takes a couple of breaths. "Sneaky Squeaker!" Jessie whispered-yelled under his breath while twirling around as his face scrunched up a bit and proceeds to fart into his hand as he then threw his smelly projectile forward and was able to manipulate it to fly over and appear several feet away from the Armored Army Guys as his fart cloud detonated, letting out a loud farting noise as the bewildered Army Guys turned their heads.
"Huh? That sounded like a clown horn filled with prune juice." One of the Army Guys said as he and his comrade walked over to investigate the source of the strange noise.
"Okay, come on, they are distracted. Let's go." Jessie says hurriedly as Heidi and the others perked up and nodded as the Kids ran over to make their way past the gates.
"Ah, I see that my Dad has taught you the Squeaky Squeaker. You should feel honored, Sir Jessie, because not even my own Father taught me that move." Stan says with an amazed and jealous tone in his voice as Jimmy bowed to him.
"I am honored to meet someone with such great progress in Fart Magic." Jimmy says as Jessie raised a hand with an awkward look on his face as he turned to Heidi, who had a semi-disgusted look on her face as Jessie winced and groaned a bit before shaking his head as the group walked forward and was surprised to see no guards around as they looked around and the kids perked up at the sight of a large blue truck stationed near them as it had a huge Taco Bell Banner covering the sign that reads 'C.I.A.'.
"Jesus, even after all of these years, this dumbasses haven't learn a single thing about subtely." Jessie mumbled under his breath in annoyance as he then walked over to the truck and spotted a red box inside as the Emo Disguised Kid opened it up and spotted a Revive Potion and a Level 8 Moon Rock Patch inside, which will allow him to add 50 Frost Damage on a perfect attack as Jessie was quick to equip it onto his weapon.
"Sir Jessie, I have bad news, but the doors are locked. There's no way for us to get inside." Jimmy says after walking back over to Jessie and Heidi with Stan.
"Really? Hmmm?" Jessie hummed in thought as he looked around and perked up as he spotted an air duct placed on top of the small army base. "When in doubt, go through an air duct!" Jessie yelled, reciting the lesson that his former caretakers had taught him as he pointed up at the air duct.
"I don't think that I will be able to get through an air duct." Jimmy says with a frown as Stan nodded.
"Yeah, he's right, so I think its best that the Bard and I stay behind here and stop any guards from coming into the base so that you and Heidi can sneak inside."
"Sounds like a plan." Jessie says as Stan and Jimmy nodded back before they went over to stand in front of the doors to guard it as Jessie reached over to grab Heidi's hand, causing her to blush a bit as he leads them over to the back of the base. "Alright, let's go." Jessie says as Heidi nodded, and the Disguised Emo teleported them up to the roof with his anal probe as he then went over to open the metal grates and started crawling through the air duct as Heidi followed after him.
"Nice ass." A thought appeared in Heidi's head as she blushed a bit while staring at Jessie's ass and couldn't help but to agree with the statement as the Kids crawled through the air ducts, being happy that they were big enough for them to go through as they eventually arrived at what seems to be a conference room and Jessie crawled to the left to allow a grunting Heidi to crawl up and laid beside him with the lovebirds blushing heavily at how close they are as they decided to ignore the butterflies in their stomach to look through the vent grate and spy on the meeting.
"...but so far, we have been unable to stop the UFO from leaking toxic waste. We've contained all we can, but there are no guarantees an outbreak will not occur." A random Government Agent said to his boss, who turned out to be Russel Saunders, as Jessie practically fumed at the sight of him but made sure to keep his powers in check so that he won't accidentally zap Heidi.
"And does the alien liquid appear to have the same effect as...last time?" Russel asked with a tense glare as another other Government Agent nodded.
"I'm afraid so. When the alien waste reacts with organic matter on Earth, it turns things into...Nazi Zombies." The Government Agent said while pressing a button on the desk as a wall slid out to reveal a cell blocked off with plexiglass, and it contained a green-skinned man in a Hawaiian Shirt goose-stepping around as it spoke in German.
"What the hell?!" A bewildered Jessie whispered-yelled with his jaw dropped as he remembered that dead man that was on the Alien Spaceship and gasped in shock as he realized what was going on.
"What's going on?" Heidi asked worriedly as Jessie turned to her.
"You see that guy over there in that containment unit? I saw one of those things inside of that Alien Spaceship last night, and, judging by what that agent said, the alien's strange goo must have a strange effect on Humans and turns them into...Nazi Zombies."
"...Really? That is so played out." A disappointed Heidi says as Jessie rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement with a scoff.
"I know, right?" Jessie asked in disbelief as Russel stood up from his chair and went over to stare at the Nazi Zombie inside of its cell as he narrowed his eyes at him and scoffed as the Leader of the M.A.S.C.A.E.D. Division rolled his eyes.
"Goddamnit. I am so tired of Nazi zombies. It's so overused."
"God. I can't believe that I agreed with that piece of shit bastard." Jessie mumbled under his breath in disbelief and anger as Heidi was able to hear what he said and gave him a confused, worried frown before she and her Friend turned back to spy on the meeting.
"If the wrong person gets their hands on that green toxin, it could totally spread, and we have a big problem." Another Government Agent said as Russel nodded in agreement before going up to a whiteboard, which contained a map of South Park as Russel circled it in a red marker and marked three spots.
"All right, we're going to have to completely obliterate EVERYTHING in a three-block radius. Find locations for the bombs and bury it all. Then make up a fake story about an earthquake. We can contain the outbreak this time IF we act quickly enough." Russel says as one of the Government Agents raised their hands.
"But what about Subject Dovahkiin, sir?" The Government Agent asked, causing Jessie to flinch concernedly as he knew that they were going to talk about him.
"Oh, trust me, I didn't forget about him." Russel says while kicking away the whiteboard as the Leader of the M.A.S.C.A.E.D. Division pulled out another one, and it showed the map of the world as there were hundreds of photos of various children of all ages with all of them having red arrows that pointed over to the photo of a 5-year-old Jessie Gladstone, who had bags in his eyes, his skin was pale, looked dangerously thin, and was wearing a white gown as he was stuck inside of a cell made out of cyan-colored energy.
"As you all know, the M.A.S.C.A.E.D Division was created 76 Years ago after an alien spaceship crashed down on Roswell, New Mexico. Ever since that incident, sightings of not only Aliens but beings of the supernatural started popping up all across the world. Ghosts, Demons, Magical Creatures, Barbra Streisand, you name it. We tried to contain or destroy these vile creatures, but, so far, we haven't been successful so far...until 20 years ago when I was first hired to lead the division, and I came up with a foolproof plan to defeat these evil beings, and that is human experimentation. I wanted to crack the secrets within Human Biology, so I had our top scientists experiment on two of our most willing scientists to try and unlock what I uniquely call the 'Metagene',"
"...Uh...sir? That term already exists."
"Yeah, I think we're basically just ripping off the X Men-,"
"STOP TALKING!" Russel ordered furiously while pulling out his gun as he shot the Two Scientists, killing them as, after composing himself, he continued talking. "Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we tried experimenting on our two scientists, but sadly, the results were lackluster...until they both had a baby boy with each other." Russel says with a sly grin on his face as Jessie gritted his teeth and glares angrily as Heidi gasped sharply and turned to him as she started connecting the dots. "10 years ago, our willing scientists Joseph Marx and Sadie Hurtz made love to each other and had a child, which we promptly named, 'Subject Dovahkiin'. Unlike his parents, Dovahkiin showed a great massive amount of power, even at a young age."
"We spent the next five years experimenting on him, studying his limits, and teaching him how to be a killing machine. We wanted to create a powerful soldier for us to use to take all of the Supernatural Beings in this world, but right when we were about to take his training to the next level, Joseph and Sadie suddenly had a changed of heart and freed Dovahkiin from his cell, and they escaped from one of our facilities. For the next 5 years, they have been on the run, eluding us and changing their names and appearances to try and hide from us." Russel says while showing the various disguises that Jessie tried to use over the years to hide from the Government.
"Oh, this explains why Jessie is so good to disguise himself." Heidi thought to herself in shock while eyeing Jessie, who looked away from her somberly as she frowned worriedly.
"But Joseph and Sadie finally made a mistake because Dovahkiin exposed their location to them," Russel says with a big smirk on his face while pulling out a remote as he pressed a button on it, and a hologram of the map of South Park appeared as it showed the hologram of the alien spaceship. "Last night, a sighting of a UFO Ship appeared and crashed down into the city of South Park, specifically at the South Park Mall, but the most important thing to notice was that before the ship crashed landed, there was a massive surge of energy inside of it, and it has the same readings as the energy generated from Dovahkiin when we studied him, which means that he is here in South Park.
"But if he's here in South Park, then why try to blow up the city? Wouldn't we also blow up the Subject?" A Government Agent asked.
"Of course not, you idiot! Subject Dovahkiin is strong enough to survive the explosion! And, even if he doesn't live close to the charges, we would use the excuse of the earthquake to fully take over the city of South Park and look for Dovahkiin and contain him. He and the traitors won't be able to hide from us anymore. Now, enough sitting around. We have a job to do, so let's move." Russel commanded as all of the Government Agents nodded and stood up from their chairs as everyone started making their way out of the room, but then one of the Government Agents pulled out a high-tech-looking tape and placed it down on the table.
"Everything we've just talked about has been recorded into THIS tape. I'm going to leave it alone here for a few minutes, then come back later and have it encrypted and locked away so nobody hears what was said in this meeting...oh and this tape only recorded our conversation from the beginning right before cutting off near when Mr. Saunders started talking about Subject Dovahkiin. I don't know why I feel the need to say any of that or why I'm talking out loud, but I did." The Government Agent says before turning around to walk out of the room as, once he was gone, Jessie punched the grate open and crawled out of the air duct as he landed on the ground, and Heidi followed after him as a tense silence rang out.
"...Jessie-,"
"Look, Heidi, let's...let's talk about this after we leave, okay?" Jessie asked somberly as Heidi pouted but nodded as the Disguised Emo Kid went over to grab the tape and was about to leave but stopped as he spotted a nearby large box lying around, and his curiosity got the better of him as Jessie walked over to crack it open and was surprised to see a Cure Potion, a Power Potion, 2.00 Dollars and 10 Cents, a Level 8 Pentagram and Tesla Cell Patch, a Gunrilla Chinpokomon, and a Level 8 SWAT Suit inside as Jessie pocketed them all and turned to Heidi. "Here, you need the armor to protect yourself with. We might need to fight our way out." Jessie says as Heidi smiled a bit, touched that he was still looking after her as the Superhuman Boy handed the Level 8 SWAT Suit to Heidi and promptly turned around to allow Heidi to start changing privately as Jessie takes the time to quip the Level 8 Tescla Chell into his Level 7 Batdadarang as it can now add 50 Shock Damage when he does a Perfect Attack.
"Alright, I'm done." Heidi says after finishing suiting up as Jessie turned to nod at her, and the Lovebirds stepped forward as they opened the door and walked out of the Conference Room as the Duo was shocked to see three Army Guards standing in front of them.
"Freeze! Put your hands into the air!" The Army Guys demanded while aiming their weapons at the Kids with a glaring Jessie stepping in front of a scared Heidi protectively and his eyes/hands glowed blue as he was about to blast them away, but then everyone flinched in surprise as the doors were suddenly broken up and the Nazi Zombie from before barged into the hallway as Jessie gritted his teeth and grabbed onto Heidi as he pushed her away.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!/OH SHIT!/IT'S BROKEN FREE!" The Army Guys shouted in unison as the Nazi Zombie roared and charged over to punch through the chest of one of the Army Guys as he then reached over to grab onto the head of the second Army Guy and bites onto his head, ripping off a huge chunk of his face and killing him as the Nazi Zombie then rushed over to bite onto the arm of the Third Army Guy, changing him into a Nazi Zombie as well as the Dead Army Guys reanimated themselves and transformed into Nazi Zombies as well as they turned over to the Kids and mumbled something in German as Jessie narrowed his eyes and stood in a battle stance while Heidi froze and glanced down at the ground as she twitched a bit.
"Don't worry, Heidi, I will protect you."
"Actually..." Heidi says while speaking in a more mature tone as she reached out to place her hand on Jessie's shoulder and pulled him back as the bewildered 10-year-old turned to his crush and was surprised to see that Heidi's appearance had changed once again as her face got slimmer and her hair got darker as she also got a new attire, which consisted of her wearing a form-fitting white bodysuit with a black hood, a black vest with black straps, a black belt embellished with a symbol of a white dagger, thigh-high black boots. "...Jade will handle this." The Now-Named Jade says with a glare while pulling out two daggers as she charged forward, and Jessie watched her go in shock as he blinked a couple of times.
"Heidi?!" A wide-eyed Jessie asked while watching in awe and confusion as he spotted Jade running towards the Nazi Zombies with her eyes briefly glowing red as she threw one of her daggers forwards, and it flew over to bury itself onto one of the Nazi Zombie's heads, killing it as it crashed down onto the ground and the other Nazi Zombies growled at their new foe angrily as they were about to try and attack her, only for Jade to pull out another dagger and suddenly turns invisible as she disappears from sight.
"What the shit!?" Jessie asked with a shocked gasp as an invisible Jade appeared behind Two Nazi Zombies and jumped up to slice through their necks, cutting off their heads and killing them as the Nazi Zombies crashed down onto the ground, and Jade swiftly turned herself visible as she slowly turned over to the Last Remaining Nazi Zombie and gripped her blades tightly as she then charged over to him to jump up into the air and lets out a loud battle cry as Jade sliced through the Nazi Zombie, killing it as the two broken halves crashed down onto the ground. "Uh...Heidi?" Jessie asked warily while walking up to Jade, who panted heavily as she then stood up straight and turned to him.
"Not Heidi." Jade says with Jessie giving her a confused look as she sighs heavily. "It's a long story. I'm sure Heidi can explain." Jade says as Jessie continued staring at her oddly, wondering what the hell is going on, but then the duo flinched as they had someone yelling outside and the Duo shared a serious look as they nodded and ran over to kick the doors open as Jessie and Jade were surprised to see a groaning Jimmy lying on the ground as a nervous Stan tried to defend him with his sword as he drove away the various Nazi Zombies trying to attack them.
"Where did all of these Nazi Zombies come from!?" A glaring Jade asked while tightening her grip on her daggers as she was about to go over and attack them but was stopped by Jessie as he held out his hand.
"Don't worry...whoever you are, I will handle this." Jessie says while pulling out the rosary as he bends down and begins praying as the clouds above them part away to reveal Jesus Christ floating in front of the shining sun and flew down as he landed in front of Jessie.
"Locked and loaded!" Jesus yelled while pulling out his rifle as he begins shooting at all of the Nazi Zombies around, killing them all as a stunned Jade, Stan, and Jimmy turned over to Jesus, who slyly puts on a pair of black glasses as he turned to Jessie. "Stay at Church!" Jesus screamed while bending down and flying up into the air as he teleported away to Heaven.
"...What the hell was that?!" A shocked Stan asked while going over to help Jimmy up to his feet as Jessie stopped praying and grinned.
"The power of the holy might bitches." Jessie says while turning to Jade, only to be surprised to see that she was twitching a bit and her features went back to normal, and she was back to wearing her Level 8 SWAT Suit again as Heidi briefly looked a bit confused before a look of realization appeared on her face as she turned to give him a nervous look.
"Jessie/Heidi? We need to talk." Jessie and Heidi said as they gave each other knowing looks and nodded in agreement.
"..." An awkward Jessie and Heidi can be seen sitting on a bench located at Stark's Pond as, per instruction, Stan and Jimmy were standing several feet away so that the Lovebirds can have a private talk with each other. After several minutes of pure tense silence, Jessie and Heidi took turns giving each curious yet worried looks as they went back and forth with this for a while before the Emo-Disguised Kid sighed heavily as he turned to his crush.
"Okay, so we both have something to say to each other, and since you already know about my past, I might as well explain," Jessie says while turning to Heidi as he took a deep breath. "Alright, so, everything that...Russel said was true. I'm a genetically engineered superpowered metahuman created in a government lab. I was created to be a Child Soldier by the government to take out all of the Supernatural Beings on the whole Earth, but my former caretakers, who are my current parents, had a change of Earth and were able to save me from Russel and we have been on the run ever since.
"We moved from city to city, changed our names and appearances, and tried to hide my powers from the public, but eventually, it started taking a toll on us. We couldn't keep running from the Government forever, but we couldn't turn ourselves in because I would be locked up again, and my Parents would be killed for being traitors of the country. That's when my Dad figured out a way to find a city where we can both hide from the Government and be our true selves."
"Let me guess, South Park?" Heidi asked with a knowing tone as Jessie nodded while sighing heavily as he rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, my Dad said that this would be the perfect place to hide since, in his own words, 'a lot of crazy shit happens in this city on a regular basis that makes my powers pale in comparison. This is the perfect hiding place for him'. But as turns out, this was the worst place to hide because now the Government knows where I am, and, when my Parents find out, they will make us move out again. I understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore." Jessie says somberly while lowering his head as Heidi gave him a surprised look.
"Wait, what? Why?" Heidi asked with a raised eyebrow as it was now Jessie's turn to look surprised.
"W-Well, I figured that you won't want to hang out with a freak like me. With me around, you probably won't have a normal life." Jessie says sadly as Heidi blinked a couple of times...before snorting as she laughed. "Huh? Why are you laughing?" Jessie asked with a slightly annoyed tone as Heidi calmed down a bit and brushed away her tears as she gave him an amused look.
"Jessie, look, I know that you haven't lived in South Park long enough to know this, but, in this city, normal isn't exactly an option." Heidi says before calming down as she gave him a serious look. "Jessie, I want you to know that what I've learned today doesn't change my mind about you. You're still the kind, strong, and nice person that saved me from that Spaceship. I just simply learned more about you. Besides, compared to me, you're practically normal." Heidi says while looking down solemnly as Jessie gave her a confused look before perking up in realization as he scooted closer to her.
"Oh, right, about the whole 'Jade' thing. What was that all about?" Jessie asked as Heidi pulled up her knees and rested her head down against it as she sighed heavily.
"W-Well, this is a bit hard to say, but...I have a condition."
"Is it lethal?" A worried Jessie asked, fearing for the worse as an anxious Heidi turned to him and shakes her head vigorously.
"Oh, no, no, no. It's not like I have Cancer or anything. It's just that I have...Multiple Personality Disorder." Heidi says with a defeated tone while lowering her head as Jessie blinked a couple of times in surprise.
"Wait, what? Do you mean like Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Jessied asked curiously as Heidi nodded.
"Yeah, exactly. I was diagnosed when I was five years old after my Parents started noticing changes in my behaviors, and Doctors told me that I had Multiple Personality Disorder after doing several tests on me for weeks on end."
"Whoa...wait, so Jade is-,"
"Yeah, she's one of my other personalities."
"How many personalities do you have?"
"Eleven. There's Brute, Aria, Ember, Dawn, Megan, Jade, Prof, Aurora, Ranna, Hela, and Ripley." Heidi says while listing them all off as Jessie stared at her in deep surprise.
"Whoa, that's a lot."
"Yeah, obviously, they didn't all show up at once. They slowly started appearing one by one all over the years, and I began to love each of them and treat them as one of my own, like sisters and whatnot. My Parents and my Teachers don't like them, though, and try to get rid of them, but I won't let them do that because I care about my Sisters, and I want to protect them." Heidi says with a serious tone as Jessie blinked a couple of times.
"Huh, that's actually pretty sweet."
"Really? You don't think that I'm some kind of weirdo or something?" Heidi asked anxiously as Jessie shakes her head.
"Nah, girl, trust me, I have seen a lot of weirdos in the past, and you're not one of them. Like you told me earlier, while its a surprise to hear about your sisters, what I've learned about you today doesn't change my mind about you. You're still the kind, strong, and beautiful girl that I saved from that Spaceship. I just simply learned more about you, and, soon, I will learn more about your sisters." Jessie says as Heidi teared up a bit and smiled widely as she hugged him.
"Thanks, Jess."
"Your welcome, Heidi," Jessie says with a warm smile...before frowning somberly as he separated from her. "But I guess that I won't be able to get to know them or you."
"What do you mean?" Heidi asked confusedly and sadly as Jessie looked away somberly.
"Because Russel knows that my Family and I are here, which means that we have to once again move away, and I won't be able to see you again." Jessie says while lowering his head in defeat as Heidi frowned and looked away for a bit before perking up as she turned back to him.
"Well...what if you and your family don't have to?"
"What?" A bewildered Jessie asked while turning to her as Heidi gave him an excited look.
"Alright, alright, look, running away from the Government hasn't worked so far, right? Well, why don't you try and take your stand in fight? We can come up with a plan to have the Government get off your back for good."
"Wait, what do you mean we?" Jessie asked apprehensively as Heidi scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"Please, do you really think that I will let you handle them on your own? I want to help."
"Heidi-,"
"No, Jessie, I'm not going to let you face this problem on your own. Just like back at the ship, we're partners, and, more importantly, I care about you, and I don't want anything to happen to you." Heidi says while leaning over to kiss his cheek before pulling back and blushed a bit at what she did as wide-eyed Jessie blushed as well and touched his cheek as he then smiled lightly and nodded.
"Alright, we will face this problem head-on together." Jessie says while reaching over to grab Heidi's hand as she smiled bashfully and pulled back her hair as the Lovebirds stared at each other quietly for a few seconds before slowly leaning close to each other as Jessie and Heidi closed their eyes as they were about to share a kiss, but then-
"Sir Jessie! We need your assistance with something! Are you and Heidi finished talking already?!" Stan interrupted while running into the scene as Jessie and Heidi's eyes flew open and separated from each other as they blushed nervously.
"Errr, yeah, sure." Jessie says with an embarrassed tone while jumping off the bench as Heidi did the same. "So, what's up?"
"Follow me." Stan says while turning around to run away as Jessie and Heidi followed after him as the Trio eventually made their way over to Jimmy, who was standing near the edge of Stark's Pond as they ran to his side.
"H-Hey, guys, l-look, what I found." Jimmy says while pointing ahead as Heidi was surprised to see the Alien Spaceship residing in Stark's Pond as Jessie perked up in realization.
"The Bard told me that it's probably best to take out the Alien Spaceship before the Government finds it." Stan says as Jessie nodded in agreement, mostly because he doesn't want the M.A.S.C.A.E.D Division to set up another base around his new school. "But we don't know how to get into the ship." Stan says as Heidi perked up and turned over to glance at Jessie as she gave him a pointed look and Jessie groaned as he realized what she wanted him to do and gave his crush a pleading look as Heidi placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him sternly as Jessie rolled his eyes, but nodded as he turned back to the Boys.
"Well, I do have a way to get into the ship, but you two have to promise not to tell anyone about it." Jessie says to Stan and Jimmy with a firm glare as they eyed him oddly but nodded as the blue-haired emo took a deep breath and reached out to grab onto Stan and Jimmy's shoulders while Heidi walked over to grab onto his shoulders Jessie swiftly used his Anal Probe to teleport them into the inside of the broken down Alien Spaceship.
"Whoa, what?!/W-What the hell just happened!?" Stan and Jimmy exclaimed in shock as Jessie turned to them.
"Long story short, I got kidnapped by the Aliens and had an anal probe shoved up my ass, and now I can teleport, but seriously, if you tell anyone about this, I will grab my ball-busting shoes and break your balls." Jessie threatened with a dark glare as Stan and Jimmy flinched in fear and shivered as they nodded. "Good. Now, let's try to see if we can find the self-destruction option."
"How do you know there's a self-destruct function?" Jimmy asked curiously after he and Stan got over Jessie's threat earlier.
"There's always a self-destruct function in alien spaceships. Anyway, let's make haste." Jessie says as the others nodded, and everyone separated to try and find the self-destruct function as a bored Jimmy looked around and then gasped in shock as he spotted a girl his age swimming through the water and they made eye contact as she waved at him.
"G-G-G-G-Guys! Look! There's a g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-girl swimming outside!" Jimmy yelled while pointing at the window as Heidi rolled her eyes without looking at him.
"Come on, Jimmy, that's impossible. Who will be able to swim around here? Not even fishes can survive this kind of pressure this deep into Stark's Pond." Heidi says while waving at him dismissively as Jimmy turned back to the girl, who winked and waved at him as he blushed.
"Guys, s-s-s-eriously! There's a girl swimming around us! Look!" Jimmy yelled while pointing ahead as Jessie and the others sighed heavily before turning their heads as they looked around and spotted nothing but water as Jessie gave the crippled boy an annoyed look.
"Jimmy, seriously, you're just seeing things. There's no one there." Jessie says while rolling his eyes as he and the others went back to looking at the self-destruct function as a disbelief Jimmy turned his head and gasped in surprise as he spotted the girl swimming back towards him and waved at him as she blew a kiss at him.
"Guys! Guys! She's here! She's here-,"
"Oh, found it!" A grinning Jessie says while finding a big red button that had the words 'Self-Destruct!' written on it and the blue-haired disguised emo wonders why is it written in English and not in an alien language, but then shrugged as Jessie pressed it and the area around them started flashing red as the number 10 appeared on the windows around them and began counting down.
"Uh, guys? I think we should probably get the hell out of here!" A worried Stan yelled with Jimmy turning his head and spotted the girl looking frightful and nervous as she turned around to swim away as fast as she can.
"Got it! Everyone, hold onto me!" Jessie screamed as everyone went over to hug him, and the superpowered boy swiftly warped them back to shore with the help of his anal probe as Jessie and the others turned their heads and screamed and covered their heads as a big explosion emitted from deep below Starks Pong and caused a large shockwave of water to sprout out of the water as it rained down on top of them with Jessie gagging a bit due to getting a few of it in his mound as he tasted it reflexively and frowned as the superhuman boy raised an eyebrow.
"Huh? Saltwater? That's weird."
"What do you mean?" Heidi asked after she and the others recovered from the Alien Spaceship blowing up.
"Why is there saltwater around here? That doesn't make sense. We live in the mountains."
"Eh, it's probably not important," Stan says with a shrug as Jessie stared over at Starks Pond suspiciously and turned over to Jimmy, who gave him a pointed look as he pointed over at Starks Pond and the blue-haired disguised emo hummed thoughtfully.
"Well, anyway, now that's done, we should probably get back to our main mission." Heidi says as Jessie sighed but nodded as he would figure out what is wrong with Starks Pond another time.
"Yeah, okay. Stan and Jimmy? You two might as well go back to your Kingdoms. If we are seen together for too long, Cartman can get suspicious."
"Alright, see you later, Sir Jessie, Maiden Heidi." Stan says while nodding at them as he and a dubious Jimmy then turned around as they were about to walk away, but then stopped as the Group heard what seems to be a young girl singing 'Part of Tour World' in the background.
"Wait, what the hell is that music?" A bewildered Stan asked as Heidi nodded.
"Yeah, who the hell is singing Little Mermaid?" Heidi asked with a raised confused eyebrow as Jessie shrugged and a suspicious Jimmy tried to look around for the source of the music but failed to find the culprit for it as the Kids shared a weird look but then shrugged as Stan and Jimmy turned around to leave as Jessie then held out his hand, and Heidi smiled warmly as she reached out to grab it and they started walking away, not knowing that the Young Girl from before poked her head out of the rock as she watched the Kids go away curiously, but also stared at the departing Jimmy with a blush on her face.
Anyway, after 20 minutes of walking, we see Jessie and Heidi making their way through the streets of South Park as they arrived back at the South Park Community Center and the Lovebirds walked in as the Duo spotted Randy and the others still standing behind the PTA Table with a tired Mr. Mackey sitting beside them on his table as Jessie and Heidi walked over to them as the disguised emo kid pulled out the High-Tech Advanced Recorder.
"Sup, we're back, and we got the evidence, yo." Jessie says casually while handing the recorder to Randy as he was surprised by this.
"What's this? It's a recording! There's data on here!"
"Did they say anything?" A woman sitting behind the PTA Table asked curiously with a rather broad Jersey Accent. The woman is a 42-year-old Ashkenazi Jewish Female with black eyes, long red hair that was in the style of a beehive, thin red eyebrows, a big nose, red lipstick, a fat double chin, Caucasian Skin, a short overweight build, and her outfit consists of a pair of gold earrings, a midnight blue dress suit with a white shirt, a violet-red skirt, and beige nylons underneath. Her name is Sheila Broflovski, Kyle's Mother, South Park's Resident Karen, and the second worst mother in South Park...you all know who is worse than Sheila.
"What kind of Taco Bell is going to be?" A man sitting behind the PTA Table asked anxiously. The man is a 44-year-old male with black eyes, balding brown hair, thick brown hair, a big stumpy nose, overly large sagging cheeks, a fat double chin, Caucasian Skin, an overweight build, and his outfit consists of a band-aid on his head, a green vest with a long-sleeved white shirt underneath, long beige pants, and black shoes. His name is Richard Adler, the Shop Class Teacher at South Park Elementary.
"When are they going to be finished building it?!" Mr. Mackey asked anxiously as Randy shushed everyone to shut the fuck up and turned on the recorder.
"All right, we're going to have to completely obliterate EVERYTHING in a three-block radius."
"What?!" A shocked Mr. Garison exclaimed as a stunned Randy stood up from his chair and turned around to walk away as he continued listening to the recorder.
"Find locations for the bombs and bury it all. Then make up a fake story about an earthquake." Russel says before Randy turned off the recorder as he and the other adults looked shocked by what they have heard.
"They're gonna...just blow up three blocks?" A shocked Victoria asked as Randy gritted his teeth angrily and his face grows red.
"Sons of bitches...YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" Randy screamed into the heavens while shaking his fist at the ceiling.
"What gives them the right?" Mr. Hat asked as Randy turned to everyone with a serious look on his face.
"I KNEW there was more to this. It's not a simple Taco Bell we're dealing with." Randy says stoically as a glaring Jessie nodded with his arms crossed.
"Yeah, I know, they are planning to-,"
"Build the most massive Taco Bell!"
"...What?" A disbelief Jessie asked with a deadpanned frown as Randy ignored him and continued talking.
"You see, ever since the whole Tacatos Supreme thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want."
"Well, not here, not in our town!" Victoria yelled with a glare.
"...Ugh..." Jessie says while facepalming as Heidi patted his back to comfort him, and Randy walked over to them as he handed the blue-haired disguised emo his sign.
"You've done well, Jessie. We're not going to let Taco Bell win. We'll handle things from here. I'll take that picture you wanted now of you with the PTA."
"...Yeah, sure, whatever." An annoyed Jessie says with a shrug, not caring enough to tell Randy and the other idiots that they were completely wrong on what was going on, as he grabbed his sign and held it up blankly as Randy took the picture for him, and a bored Jessie tossed his sign away as he felt his phone's notification sound rang out and quickly pulled out his phone to see that he got the photo as Jessie also got friend requests from all of the PTA Members.
Nodding to himself in satisfaction, Jessie then noticed that he got posts from them as the first one was Mr. Addler saying, 'Just because I'm your friend now doesn't mean you get to screw around', the second one was from Mr. Garrison saying, 'That's the last time Taco Bell fucks with the PTA', the third one was from Mr. Hat saying, 'Infiltrating that Taco Bell took some serious balls, New Kid. My respect for you has grown', the fourth one is from Superintendent Victoria saying, 'You did very well today, young man', the fifth one is from Shiela saying, 'Kyle is very lucky to have so many nice neighbors his age!', and the sixth one was from Mr. Mackey saying, 'Hey, New Kid, thanks for throwing away that computer monitor for me. Now, you may be thinking that I still have a hoarding sure, but you'd be wrong, mkay'.
After that was done, Jessie saw that he had enough friends for a new Perk, and the blue-haired emo-disguised boy was quick to press the Perk Tab as he looked through the whole selection of different perks, and, after looking at all of them carefully, Jessie decided to pick the 'Second Wind' Perk, which will allow him and his buddy to reach full health whenever a revive potion is used on them as he then put away his phone and Jessie and Heidi then turned around as they started walking towards the doors and were about to leave, but then-
"Thank you, Jessie Gladstone and Heidi Turner. The PTA will call on you should we need you again." Randy says while using a booming and dramatic tone as the Kids stared at him oddly.
"Uh...sure, whatever." Jessie says with a shrug before he and Heidi left the South Park Community Center as, one Fast Travel Flag later, the Lovebirds arrived at South Park Elementary and made their way towards the back from where the Goths can still be seen smoking as Jessie walked over to wordlessly held out his phone to show them the photo, much to the shock of the Goths as they shared a look.
"Whoa, the New Kid did it." Pete says as Henrietta nodded while saying 'Nice' as a glaring Micahel composed himself and scoffed as he rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, but he's still not Goth."
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" An enraged Jessie screamed while running over to kick a dumpster so hard that it dented as he then turned over to scowl at the shocked Goths furiously. "WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I DRESSED LIKE A GOTH! I DYED MY HAIR BLACK! I GOT THE SMOKES! I GOT THE COFFEE, AND I TOOK THE FUCKING PHOTO AT THE PTA MEETING! WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ALL POSSIBLY WANT?!"
"Y-You...You...have to pass the final test."
"WHAT!? WHAT IS IT?!" Jessie asked aggressively with his eyes briefly glowing blue as Heidi took a couple of steps back.
"Y-You have to smoke and drink-,"
"FUCK THAT! YOU ALL CAN'T FORCE ME TO SMOKE AND DRINK COFEE! I'M NOT GOING TO CONFORM TO YOUR VIEWS!" Jessie screamed angrily, causing the Goths to gasp sharply as they shared a look and mumbled with each other for a bit before turning back to Jessie and Heidi as Michael stepped forward.
"Well, New Kid, I hate to say it, but...you are a total Goth."
"Wait, what?" A puzzled Heidi asked as Henrietta nodded.
"Yeah, the New Kid is refusing to conform. He's such a nonconformist that he won't conform to what WE want him to do," Henrietta said as a proud Micahel nodded.
"Yep, you passed the secret test, New Kid. If you did what we told you right there, then we know that you're just a loser poser trying to fit into our group."
"You have officially proven yourself." Pete added in.
"Yeah. Just tell us where you need us, and we'll be there." Michael says as Jessie nodded, and he and Heidi then turned around to leave the back of the school.
"Did you do that on purpose?" Heidi asked Jessie, who nodded with a cocky smirk on his face.
"Oh, yeah, I know what these Emos think. Anyway, let's take off these stupid outfits and go over to the Kingdom of Kupa Keep." Jessie says as Heidi gave him a surprised look.
"Wait, really? I figured that you would want to join the Elves."
"Oh, I did...and I didn't. I will explain it along the way." Jessie says reassuringly while grabbing Heidi's hand as he leads her away and, after entering the school to change into their casual outfits and Jessie used his powers to get rid of the black dye in his hair, the Lovebirds went over to the Fast Travel Flag and, after Timmy showed up, they climbed onto his wagon as Jessie and Heidi told him where to go as Timmy zoomed them towards the front of Cartman's House and drove off as they were about to leave, but stopped as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and pulled out his phone to see that he got friend requests from the Goths as Jessie accepted them.
"Okay, let's do this." Jessie says as Heidi nodded, and the Duo walked into Cartman's House as, after greeting Cartman's Mom, they made their way towards the Kingdom of Kupa Keep and spotted everyone hanging around, doing their own business as Jessie grabbed Heidi's hand and leads her into the Grand Wizard's Tent as they spotted Eric relaxing on his throne.
"Ah, you have returned. Come, Sir Douchebag, let's go and summon our allies and-Wait, what the fuck? Why the hell is Heidi Turner here?" An annoyed Cartman asked after noticing Heidi's presence as Jessie let go of her hand and stepped forward.
"You see, Grand Wizard, while I was off on my journey, I met a beautiful Maiden who aided me on my quest to recruit the Goths. Without her, I doubt that I would've been able to finish my mission, so with your permission, I would like for Heidi to join the KKK." Jessie says as a worried Heidi opened her mouth. "Yes, I realized what I said the moment it came out of my mouth."
"Hmmm...I don't know. She is a girl, and girls are useless..."
"Oh, well, if you won't let Heidi join us, I might as well go with the Elves and text the Goths to join them instead?" Jessie says with a sly grin while holding out his phone as a panicking Eric came out of his throne.
"No, no, let's not do anything hasty!" A worried Cartman yelled as Jessie lowered his phone and gave him a serious glare as the Grand Wizard paced around a bit and groaned as he kicked the ground. "Fine, you're stupid girlfriend can join in."
"Cool, but she's not my-,"
"Anyway, no time for chit-chat. Let's go." The Grand Wizard says while walking out of the tent as Jessie and Heidi gave him annoyed looks but followed him as they appeared back in KKK, and Eric started whistling loudly to get everyone's attention as they walked over to him. "Good news, everyone, while the rest of you were sitting around on your asses, Sir Douchebag had brought help to our kingdom." Grand Wizard says as he then turned to Jessie. "Sir Douchebag-,"
"My name is not fucking Douchebag."
"...it is finally time to give you a title worthy of your deeds, so by the power of Mandalof, and the power of farts, and by the glory of Christ, I hereby dub thee...Commander Douchebag!" Cartman exclaimed loudly as everyone clapped loudly for Jessie. "And, as much as I hate this, this here whore had helped out Douchebag in his mission to recruit the Goths, so I hereby allow this wench to join the KKK as...Maiden Douchebag!"
"Awwwww, what?!" An angry Heidi yelled as everyone clapped awkwardly, and Jessie glared at Eric as he was about to say something, but then-
"Eric! Eric! I have great news to tell you!" Butters screamed while opening the screen door to run into the Kingdom of Kupa Keep as, before anyone could say anything, Marjorine walked behind him, and immediately, all of the Boys (Sans Craig and Tweek) turned to stare at her with hearts in their eyes as they drooled.
"Whoa...Marjorine..." All of the Boys mumbled in unison while staring at her lovingly with Jessie doing the same after getting a good look at her sexy body as he grinned goofily, and a slightly jealous Heidi glared at him as she elbowed him and the blue-haired boy gave her a sheepish look as Butters, who was annoyed with everyone staring at his sister, turned to Marjorine.
"Sis, you can leave now, please." Butters stressed as Marjorine giggled and nodded.
"Sure, see you later, Butters, have fun." Marjorine says, giving Butters a drive to Cartman's House in her car, as she waved at him and turned around to walk away as Jessie stared down at her ass lechery and was surprised to see Butters glaring at him sharply as he raised his hands in surrender.
"Hmmm, while I'm jealous of her good looks, I should go over to Butters House and ask Marjorine where she buys her bras." Heidi thought to herself curiously, wanting to buy bigger bras for one of her sisters as a blushing and dazed Eric then composed himself as he turned to Butters.
"Anyway, Paladin Butters, what did you wanted to say?" The Grand Wizard asked as Butters huffed but calmed down as he nodded.
"Oh, yeah, right! We know where the Elves are hiding the Stick of Truth!"
"Wait, really?!" A shocked Eric asked as Butters nodded.
"Yeah, we just intercepted their message on Twitter!"
"You mean they shot down their Messenger Raven?"
"Y-Yeah, right. We shot down their Messenger Raven, and we found out that the Evil Elf King has hidden the Stick of Truth in his desk at school!"
"Of course, Kyle hid it in his desk!" Cartman screamed in realization while turning to face his loyal subjects as Jessie and Heidi discretely shared a knowing look and chuckled mischievously. "Citizens of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep! We know where the Elves are hiding the Stick of Truth! Now, we shall march up to the Skewl and make the hallways drip with Elven Blood!" Cartman cheered as he and the others then ran out of the KKK to make their way toward the school as Jessie and Heidi were about to follow after them but stopped as they noticed that Butters, Princess Kenny, Prince Karen, and Scott remained behind.
"Hey, aren't you guys coming?" Jessie asked as Princess Kenny shakes her head and stepped forward.
"Mmmm, mmmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm (No, sadly, my water has broke and I'm about to go into labor and have my baby)," Princess Kenny says while pulling out a broken water bottle as she dropped down into the ground to pretend her water broke.
"Wait, seriously?! Do you need our help!?" Heidi asked worriedly with Jessie giving her a disbelief look as he wondered if she forgot that Kenny isn't actually pregnant.
"Don't worry, I took medic lessons from Paladin Butters, so I will stay behind and help her give birth and pull her baby out of her butt...babies do come out of butts, right?" Scott asked curiously as Jessie and Heidi gave him flat looks but nodded as he beamed.
"And I want to stay behind to give her moral support and protect my Sister and my future Niece or Nephew from any monsters trying to kill her." Prince Karen says while branding his sword as Jessie blinked a couple of times but nodded.
"Noted. Well, good luck with-,"
"Mmmm mmm, mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm, mmmm mmmm, mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm, mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm... (Big Daddy, I know that you have to go into battle, and, trust me, it makes me incredibly wet to know that you are fighting off Elves to protect me and our baby, but just in case you don't make it...)," Princess Kenny trails off as she reached over to grab onto the front of Jessie's shirt and pulled her in to give her a long passionate kiss as a panicking Jessie struggled to break free from her and an amused Heidi cooed at this while Karen, Butters, and Scott looked away awkwardly as Jessie felt Princess Kenny reached down to touch his ass and lets out muffled cries of panic as he placed his hands on her chest and pushed her away as the blue-haired boy crashed down onto the ground and panted heavily as he wiped his mouth. "...that will be our last kiss. And, don't worry if you die, I will make sure to have our Son and Daughter remember how handsome, strong, and brave you are." Princess Kenny says with a breathless tone and teary eyes as Butters went over to help a traumatized Jessie up to his feet.
"Come on, my lord, let me help suit you and Heidi up for our upcoming Final War with the Elves." Butters says while leading a stunned Jessie and a giggling Heidi away as Scott grabbed onto Princess Kenny's hand and leads her towards the Medic Tent as Prince Karen followed after them.
"DEFENDERS OF FREEDOM!" The Grand Wizard screamed with a serious glare on his face as we see the whole Kingdom of Kupa Keep standing in front of the South Park Elementary School late at night with dark clouds looming above them and it was raining profoundly as lightning rang out and the Goth Kids could be seen participating in the fight as Jessie and Heidi can be seen standing beside them while wearing their new armor and holding onto their new weapons. "I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE AND AUDACITIES IN JOINING OUR FIGHT! TONIGHT WE ARE NO LONGER THE HUMANS OR THE GOTHS! TONIGHT, WE FIGHT AS ONE!"
"I feel like such a homo sapien right now." Michael stated dryly while wearing a Vikings Helmet, a brown fur scarf, and holding onto a double-headed axe.
"I'm only here to tell people how much this sucks," Pete says with a scoff while flipping his hair around as he wore earmuffs with brown fur and a dark brown fur cape.
"Why doesn't this game have real murder? This game blows." Firkle says with a glare as he wore a brown Viking Helmet that seems to be too big for him and a green-silked cape.
"Ugh, yeah, if no one bleeds in this shit, I'm leaving." Henrietta says while rolling her eyes as she smoked from a cigarette and could be seen wearing a bronze helmet with tiny wings on its sides, a bronze breastplate, and a long dark red cranberry cape.
"The Humans are here!" One of the Elves screamed while popping out of the secondary window of the school as another Elf appeared and blew his horn.
"Ooh, they blew their horn! Quick, Butters, blow ours!" Cartman yelled at Butters, who nodded as he pulled a horn and blew on it. "Alright, Humans, flank left! Goth Kids, prepare to attack from behind!" The Grand Wizard exclaimed as everyone, but Jessie and Heidi, ran towards the school, and the War between Humans and Elves had begun as the front of the school was blocked off by a barricade. "They barricaded the entrance! The Elves are up to their old Jew Tricks again! Find another way to get into school, Comander and Maiden Douchebag! Take out the barricade from behind! Paladin Butters? Go with them!"
"Understood, Grand Wizard!" Butters yelled with a cheerful smile as he saluted him.
"Sure, whatever you say, Lordass." Jessie says while rolling his eyes as he wore his Silver Helmet, his 3D Glasses, long blue cape, Level 8 Fighters Armor, and Fighters Gauntlets of Defense as he carried around his new weapons, the Axe of Stopping and Recurve Bow. For Patches, he equipped his Fighter Armor with a Level 8 Pentagram Patch, which will inflict 50 more damage with his melee weapon attacks. Equipped his gauntlets with his Level 8 Valkyrie Patch, which will add 40 more damage with his range attacks. Equipped his Axe with a Level 8 Moon Rock Patch, which will add 50 Fost Damage on a Perfect Attack. And finally, equipped his Level 8 Tesla Cell and Level 8 Page of Unfinished Home Work Patches on his Recurve Bow as the first one will add 50 Shock Damage on a Perfect Attack while the second one will reduce the target's defense on a Perfect Attack.
"Come on, let's go to the back, Jess." Heidi says to her crush while wearing a dark green Viking Helmet, a long black cape, black stripes on her cheeks, dark green skintight armor, fingerless black gloves, and black shoes as she was holding onto Jessie's Level 6 Fatbeard's Sword and his Level 7 Batdadarang.
"Gotcha." Jessie says before his phone's notification sound rang out as he pulled out his phone and saw that Cartman had sent him a friend request as the blue-haired boy was annoyed that it took him this long to send him a friend request but accepted it anyway as Jessie also perked up when he noticed that he had leveled up to Level 10 and pressed onto the Abilities Tap as Jessie decided to level up his Bull Rush Move to Level 8, which now allows him to launch a follow-up helmet spike that can cause bleeding to his opponents as the superhuman boy also saw that he had gained a new super move named, 'Ground Stomp', which will allow him to crush his foes with a deadly pounce that hits all enemies as it deals more damage if done perfectly.
"Over here." Butters says while he leads the others towards the back of the school as they were surprised to see a group of knocked-out Elves lying on the ground, moaning in pain as the Trio spotted the Goths standing near the back and a groaning Pete can be seen lying on the ground while holding his injured leg.
"Ow! I hurt my fucking ankle! Oh, man, it hurts like shit!"
"Hey, Butters, do you think you can heal him?" Jessie asked Butters, who nodded as he walked over to Pete and patted his back as his body glowed green, healing his leg as he perked up.
"Hey, I'm healed! Except on the inside!"
"Cool, you think that you can get us inside?" Heidi asked hopefully as Pete nodded and turned around as he made his way over to the back door of the school and was able to pick the lock on it as the Goth opened it and stepped aside.
"We locked it so nobody else could get in."
"Smart." Jessie complimented before he, Heidi, and Butters walked through the door as they appeared in what seemed to be the South Park Elementary Cafeteria Kitchen and were about to continue walking through the school but stopped as the speakers above them sparkled to life.
"New Kid, if you're in the building, you're fighting for a tyrant, but I know that there's good in you! Stop fighting for your evil lord! Free yourself from his control!" Kyle yelled before the speakers were turned off as a glaring Butters scoffed.
"I can't believe that the Elf King thinks that you will just turn on us just like that. Does he really think that its that easy?"
"Yeah..." Jessie trails off while sharing a look with Heidi as the blue-haired then began looting the room and was able to find a small backpack lying around as he walked over to it and opened it up to find a Donkeytron Chinpokomon Doll, two (Small) Health Potions, a Level 7 Chef's Skewer Patch, and Chef's Old PO Box Key as Jessie pocketed them all before the Trio walked out of the Kitchen and appeared on the Cafeteria as they were surprised to see a sobbing Tweek standing before them with a couple of knocked out Humans lying around him.
"Hey, Tweek, what happened?" Heidi asked worriedly as a scared and nervous Tweek turned to them.
"Don't go in there, man! We got in through the back, but they just mow us down like dogs, man! All of my friends are dead! Oh, jesus!"
"Tweek, get a hold of yourself, man!" Jessie screamed while running over to grab onto Tweek's shoulders as the blue-haired kid shook him around and slapped him as Tweek blinked a couple of times but calmed down as he nodded.
"Thanks, I needed that. Anyway, the Elfs had barricaded the doors and my friends died when they tried to go through it. There's no way to escape from here." Tweek says while pointing over at two large barricades placed near the doors with Ten Elves hiding behind each barricade as they were armed with weapons.
"Hmmm, got it, we will handle this. Butters? Help break down the first barricade. Heidi? You and me are going to take out the Elves." Jessie says as the duo nodded, and Butters walked forward as he activated his Professor Chaos Move and a butterfly appeared in his hand, and Butters smiled cheerfully before growing a sinister smirk as he chuckled.
"Let's see how they like dealing with me!" Butters screamed while grabbing onto his cape as he whirled around and transformed into the Anime Version of his Professor Chaos form as he laughed evilly before walking forward with his steps shaking the ground underneath him as he then floated upwards while crossing his arms with his cape blowing in the wind as his body radiated with golden electricity.
"Hammer of Chaos!" Anime Professor Chaos screamed while raising his arm as a large red war hammer appeared in his hands and threw down his giant weapon as Butters slammed it down onto the barricade, blowing it up thanks to the help of a yellow electrical shockwave that spread out across the area and zapped the 10 Elves guarding the first barricade as Butters then whirled and transformed back into his normal form.
"Grooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddddddddddddddddd...Stomp!" Jessie exclaimed while jumping up into the air as he then slammed his foot onto the ground, creating a huge shockwave that sends all of the screaming Elves flying up into the air as Heidi quickly pulled out her Level 7 Batdadarang and tossed it forward as it flew through the air and cut through all of the airborne Elves, electrocuting them even more as they crashed down onto the ground and moaned in pain as the Elves got knocked out. "Let's push through!" Jessie screamed while glaring over at the next barricade as he noticed that it had two flaming torches at the top, and an idea popped into his head Jessie's face then scrunched a bit as he takes a deep breath through his anus, and his stomach rumbled a bit.
"Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to the barricade and it impacted against the flaming torches, causing the barricade to blow up and the shockwave impacted against Three Elves, sending them flying back as they crashed against a wall and got knocked out as the unconscious Elves fell down onto the ground.
"Feel my righteous fury!" Butters screamed while walking over to raise his Warhammer into the air as a dark gray cloud appeared above him, and a bolt of yellow lightning ran down to impact against his weapon as a scowling Butters fired a bolt of lightning at Two Elves, electrocuting the hell out of them as a grunting Heidi twirled around and toss her Level 7 Batdadarang forward as it cut through Two Elves and shocked them.
Grinning widely, Jessie pulled out his metal bat and jumped up as he landed on the wall and ran along it as the blue-haired boy then leaped off it and twirled forward as he slammed his weapon down on one of the Elves and then pulled out a baseball as Jessie tossed it upwards and whacked his metal bat against it, sending it flying forward as it impacted against an Elf's head, knocking him out as the final Elf tried to attack him, only for Jessie to put on his football helmet and pulled out his Horn of Irritation as he pressed on it and sends out a loud horn sound as a big soundwave blast impacted against the Elf, deafening and knocking him out as the Elf Warrior crashed down onto the ground.
"Great job, team." Jessie complimented as Butters and Heidi smiled and nodded as the blue-haired boy then decided to equip his Level 7 Boxing Badge Patch onto his armor, which will now allow him to gain 5 PP when he kills an opponent as Jessie also decided to equip his Level 8 Thorny Branch onto his gauntlets and it will allow him to give his enemies 25 damage with his melee attacks. Once that was done, the Trio made their way out of the Cafeteria and arrived at the hallways as they were about to keep going but stopped as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and pulled out his phone to see that Cartman had posted a message to him saying, 'Commander Douchebag, we're still blocked out here. I'm authorizing the use of deadly force! Flank that barricade', and Jessie rolled his eyes a bit as he put away his phone.
"Guys, look! Another barricade!" Heidi yelled while pointing ahead as she and the boys spotted another barricade placed in front of them with Three Elves guarding it as Jessie pursed his lips and glanced up as he spotted a metal grate on the roof, and an idea popped into his head as the blue-haired boy turned to Butters.
"Paladin Butters? Find a way to break down the barricade while Maiden Heidi and I try to find a way to get around the barricade." Jessie says as Butters nodded and went over to deal with the barricade as Jessie turned to Heidi and gestured up at the metal grate while gesturing at his ass as she nodded and reached over to grab his hand as the superpowered boy then used his Anal Probe to teleport them up inside of the metal vent.
"Ewwwww!" Heidi yelped in disgust while sticking her tongue out at the sight of the rat standing before them as Jessie quickly raised his arm and fired a small bolt of blue electricity as it flew over to impact against the rat, causing its little heart to be blown up as the dead animal crashed down onto the ground. "Thank you, Jess, thank you." A grateful Heidi says, not wanting to deal with the rat as Jessie nodded and looked around as he spotted a nearby green bag and made his way over to open it as the blue-haired boy was able to find Claw Marks Makeup, 25 Cents, a Mana Potion, a (Large) Health Potion, and two Level 7 South Park Cows and Snowball Patches as Jessie pocketed them all and the Duo were about to leave but stopped as the speakers sparked to life.
"These are the terms of your surrender! One, you will be the Elves' personal slave for a...a..."
"A Month!" Stan yelled, helping out Kyle as Jessie and Heidi glanced up at the ceiling with irritated looks on their faces.
"Okay, I know that I told them to pretend that I'm their enemy, but they don't have to play it up that much." Jessie says with a glare as Heidi nodded in agreement.
"One Month! Two, you agree that the Elves are masters of the Stick of Truth for all time! Three, you-,"
"Hey, hand me the mic for a second." Stan says as the Lovebirds heard Kyle hand the mic over to his best friend. "Three, the so-called Grand Wizard has to jump up and down continuously for three straight days! If he stops early, he has to start over!" Stan yelled as he and Kyle shared a laugh before the speakers were turned off.
"Okay that last one was a good one." Jessie says as Heidi nodded before the Duo grows serious as they moved forward and noticed a nearby loose ceiling panel as Jessie pulled out his Axe of Stopping and used it to cut the rope holding onto it, causing it to fall down and land on top of one of the Elves' heads, knocking him out as he crashed down onto the ground.
"What the hell?!" A Second Elf yelled while running over to check on his knocked-out comrade before grunting in pain as Heidi fell down from the hole in the ceiling and crashed down on top of the Second Elf, injuring him as he groaned and glared up at Heidi, who smiled down at him awkwardly and got off his body as the angry Elf was about to attack her, only for Jessie to crash down on top of the Elf, knocking him out as Heidi sighs in relief and smiled at him as the blue-haired boy smiled back at her.
"Hey, guys." Butters says with a warm smile as he walked up to them.
"Oh, hey, Butters, took down that barricade?"
"Yep, they made a bad mistake in placing an electric fan bellow the sparkler system." Butters says with a rare smug smirk on his face as he pointed behind him, and Jessie and Heidi spotted an unconscious, burnt, and electrified Elf lying beside a blown-up barricade.
"Nice." Jessie says before feeling his phone's notification sound rang out as he pulled it out and saw that Cartman had sent him a post saying, 'The goddamn elves still have us blocked! Punch through!' as the blue-haired boy rolled his eyes and put away his phone. "Come on, Lordass is getting impatient. Since you two went to your school longer, do you know a quick short cut to the front of the school?"
"I do. Follow me." Butters says while leading them toward the Basement as he opened the door, and the Trio walked into the room as they walked down the stairs and were surprised to see Cartman standing near a groaning Ginger Monitor.
"What the hell? Grand Wizard, how did you get into the school? And what did you do to him?" A shocked Jessie asked while pointing over at the Giner Monitor as Eric turned to the group and waved his hands around.
"Stay back, you guys! Something is seriously wrong with the Hallway Monitors!"
"Help...me!"
"That's Gary Nelson!" A worried Butters yelled as he, Jessie, and Heidi ran over to check on a pained and whimpering Gary.
"Don't touch him! He's a ginger!"
"Shut the fuck up, fatass!" An annoyed Jessie yelled before glancing down at Gary as he gave him a concerned yet suspicious look. "What happened to you, dude? And what are you doing in school late at night?"
"We came to school the morning after the earthquake to report for duty." Gary says while coughing out some type of green goo from out of his mouth as Jessie and Heidi's eyes widened in shock, realizing what it was as they shared anxious looks. "We didn't know school had been cancelled. We heard a sound from down here, found this green goo. It was everywhere. It...changed the other hallway monitors."
"Serves you right for being a patsy ass hallway monitor in the first place." Cartman says mockingly as Jessie reached out to grab onto Heidi and Butters's arms as he pulled them backwards just as Gary was able to find the energy to stand up slowly with his bones creaking as he groaned and gripped his head
"Something in the goo...it...it..." Gary says as, much to everyone's shock, he transformed into a Nazi Zombie before their very eyes and turned around to glare at them as he said something in German.
"AHGHGGH! SOMEHOW THAT GREEN GOO MAKES GINGER HALLWAY MONITORS EVEN LAMER!" A panicking Cartman screamed while reaching out to grab onto Butter's hand as he lead them out of the basement, leaving behind Jessie and Heidi as Nazi Zombie Gary pulled out his walkie-talkie and summoned reinforcements as Five More Nazi Zombies Hall Monitors appeared and walked over to stand beside their leader as they glared over at the Lovebirds, who got into battle stances as Jessie turned to Heidi.
"You think you got a Sister that can help us out?" Jessie asked as Heidi gave him an annoyed look.
"I can't just summon them whenever I want. They just come and go. Why else do you think my Sisters didn't show up when I was kidnapped by Aliens?"
"Okay, fair point, but still, don't your Sisters have specific triggers that make them appear? Like a word, activity, or something?" Jessie asked as Heidi hummed in thought and looked around as she perked up at the sight of a Soda Vending Machine.
"I have an idea on how to summon one of my sisters, but this might be risky. Just be careful." Heidi warns as Jessie nodded, and the light ash-brown-haired girl went over to the vending machine while the blue-haired boy stayed behind and raised his sparkling blue hands as he fired multiple blasts of lightning that flew over to burst through the heads of the Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors, blowing them up as they crashed down onto the ground. "I hope this works." Heidi says while pulling out a dollar as the 10-year-old girl inserted it into the vending machine, and it drops down a soda as Heidi reached out to grab it and opened it up as she begins drinking it and yelped as the 10-year-old girl twitched and whirled around a bit before lowering her head as her hair covered her face.
"Hey, Heidi, you okay over there?" Jessie asked while zapping various Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors away as he then turned his head and was surprised to see that Heidi had changed appearances and clothing yet again as her hair was now pink and tied up into a high ponytail as her features were sharpened and a had a mole on her left cheek as she was wearing a white bicycle helmet with pink stripes as it also has a hole planted behind the helmet that allowed her ponytail to pop out, a pink visor, long-sleeved white jumpsuit with light pink accents and a pink lightning bolt symbol planted on her chest, white gloves with pink fingers, a white belt with a belt buckle that resembled a pink lightning bolt, and knee-length white boots with pink accents.
"Ha, ha, let's do this! Don't worry, Aria got this!" The Now-Named Aria exclaimed while speeding forward and leaving behind a trail of pink lightning as she impacted against two Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors and sends them flying away as they crash against two walls with their heads cracking upon impact and dying as Aria turned to wink at Jessie while sticking out her tongue playfully as the blue-haired boy blinked a couple of times before grinning widely as he pulled out his Axe of Stopping and covered it with blue electricity as Jessie then leaped forward and slammed his weapon onto the ground, creating a blue electrical shockwave that flew over to impact against several Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors as they were sent flying back.
"Whoo-hoo!" Aria cheered while rushing forward as she zipped from side to side and punch through the heads of various Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors, killing them as Jessie then pulled out his Recurve Bow and covered his weapon with blue electricity as he fired multiple arrows into the air and it flew over to pierce through the heads of several Naxi Zombie Hall Monitors, snipping the shit out of them as Jessie then noticed another zombie stalking over to attack Aria and narrowed his eyes as he fired another arrow that flew over to pierce through its head, killing the Nazi Zombie Hall Monitor as it crashed down onto the ground and Aria saw what happened as she noticed that more and more zombies were appearing into the basement and an idea popped into her head.
"Hey, cutie! Shoot more arrows but at me! And do it fast!" Aria yelled while excitedly jumping up and down as Jessie raised an eyebrow but nodded as he used a combination of his strength and speed to begin firing a whole bunch of arrows at Aria, who started spinning around in place at high speeds, resembling a pink sparkling tornado as all of the arrows bounced off it and zoomed across the whole area, piercing through all of the Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors's heads, including Gary Nelson as they all crashed down onto the ground, fully dead. "Ha, ha, we make a great team, cutie!" Aria screamed while zipping over to place her arm on Jessie's shoulder as he smiled at her awkwardly.
"Yeah, we do, but come on, we still have a mission to do."
"Gotcha, race you there!" Aria says playfully while zipping forward as she got out of the basement through a door placed in front of them and accidentally spun him around in place as a surprised Jessie then composed himself and shakes his head as the blue-haired boy made sure to loot the basement around him first and was able to find a Level 9 Rock Candy Wrapper Patch, a Revive Potion, a Mana Potion, and 1.00 Dollar and 50 cents inside of a toolbox as he pocketed them all and was quick to equip his new patch onto his Figther's Armor as Jessie can now heal 50 HP each turn in combat.
"Alright, so what do we have here." Jessie says curiously while walking through the door as he made his way over to Aria, who was looking around impatiently as the Kids realized that they were inside the Maintenance Tunnels and spotted 10 Nazi Zombie Hall Monitors standing behind a puddle that was covered with electricity as Jessie looked around and spotted an electric generator placed behind a metal fence as he then turned to Aria. "So, you think you can shut down the generator for me?"
"Okie dokie!" Aria says with a smile while rushing forward as she started vibrating her molecules rapidly, and she was able to phase through the metal fence as Aria stopped phasing and reached over to grab onto the lever as the Speedster pulled it down, shutting down the electric generator, and Jessie lets out a loud battle cry as he runs past the nonelectrified puddle and leaped up into the air as the blue-haired boy swung his Axe of Stopping down and was able to slice through the head of one of the zombies as another ran over to try and attack him, only for Aria to vibrate her molecules rapidly as she zoomed forward and phased through the metal fence as Heidi's Speedy Sister ran through the zombie and was able to blow it up.
Skidding to a stop, Aria then noticed 3 Nazi Zombie Hall Monitor ran forward to try and bite her, only for Jessie to use his Anal Probe to warp himself in front of her and pulled out his metal bat as he swung it around, and he was able to whack away two of the zombies as Jessie then whirled around and used his Rashambo Move to throw up a swift kick at the third zombie's nuts, hurting him as he crashed down onto the ground. Sharing a look, the Duo nodded as they ran forward at superhuman speeds with Jessie looking noticeably slower than Aria as they zoomed across the area, resembling pink and blue blurs as they punch through four zombies, killing them as Jessie and Aria then zipped in front of the final Nazi Zombie Hall Monitor.
"Dual Lightning Fists!" Jessie and Aria exclaimed while slamming their fists together as they fired dual blue/pink lightning bolts that were in the shape of clenched fists, and the Kids' attack flew over to pierce through the Nazi Zombie Hall Monitor, killing it as all of the zombies crashed down onto the ground. "Ha, ha, nice!" Jessie and Aria cheered while sharing a high-five as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and pulled out his phone to see that Cartman had posted a message saying, 'I'm sitting on the toilet taking a huge, smelly dump because I'm a big dumb fatass!', much to Jessie's confusion as he was about message what was wrong with him when suddenly he noticed three new posts showing up as one of them was Kyle saying, 'LOL', and the second one was from Stan saying, 'Pick a better password for your account, fatass' as the third final post was a pissed-off Cartman saying, 'Fuck you guys. Seriously' and an amused Jessie liked all of the posts as he then puts away his phone.
"Alright, Aria, you go ahead and scope out the hallway while I check a few things out." Jessie says as Aria nodded and saluted him playfully as she zipped over to kiss his cheek and the blushing Speedster giggled as Aria turned around to run out of the second door placed in the room as a surprised Jessie touched his cheek with a blush, but then composed himself as he walked forward and spotted a door marked 'Boiling Room' as Jessie pursed his lips.
"Wait a minute." Jessie says while briefly pulling out his phone to check his Quest List and saw that he was supposed to kill some kind of Mutant Bacteria inside of the Boiling Room for Jimbo and Ned as the blue-haired boy puts away his phone and made his way over to the Boiling Room as he opened the door and walked in as Jessie looked around and spotted a nearby table that had a beaker containing some kind of green mutant bacteria as the superhuman boy narrowed his eyes and prepared for the biggest fight of his life as he took a deep breath and his body lit up with blue electricity as Jessie's glowing blue eyes glanced over at the mutant bacteria and raised his fist...to fire a small quick burst of blue electricity as it flew over to impact against the Mutant Bacteria, blowing it up into a billion of pieces as it remains splattered down onto the ground.
"Well, that was easy." Jessie says with a shrug as his body stopped glowing blue and turned around to leave the Boiling room as he walked around the Maintenance Tunnels and started looting the place as Jessie was able to find a red toolbox that contained a Level 8 Battery Label and Zombie Flesh Patches, and 2.00 Dollars as Jessie was quick to equip his Level 8 Moon Rock patch on his Axe of Stopping, which will now allow him to deal 50 Frost Damage on a Perfect Attack as he also equipped his Level 8 Zombie Flesh Patch onto his Recurve bow, allowing it to deal 50 Gross Damage on a Perfect Attack. "Alright, better go back to my main quest," Jessie says while turning around to make his way out of the Basement as he arrived at a hallway and was surprised to see a group of unconscious Elves lying around as Aria zipped over to appear in front of him with a big smile on her face.
"Hey, Jess, just finished taking out a few Elves."
"Really? How did you do that?" Jessie asked curiously as Aria looked away while grinning slyly.
~{Flashback: 5 Minutes Ago}~
A group of fifteen Elves can be seen standing around the Basement Door, guarding it as a few of them were playing cards while others were playing on their phones as, before they could react, the doors were suddenly broken apart, and Aria zoomed into the hallway as she looked around and time around her slowed down to a grinding halt as Aria spotted five Elves being flung into the air, one Elf being slammed against a wall, four Elves slowly turning to the open door in shock, two Elves standing near the staircase, and three Elves standing near the fire extinguisher.
Grinning widely, Aria then cracked her knuckles as she rushed forward and reached near a vending machine as she raised her arm and started vibrating her arm rapidly as she sticks it inside and pulled out three sodas as she drinks one of them before rushing towards the Elves standing near the staircase as Aria shook both soda cans violently and then handed the sodas towards them. Once that was done, Aria ran towards the Elves standing near the fire extinguisher and noticed an emergency fire hose planted on the wall as the Speedster raised her fist and punched the glass containing it, breaking it apart as Aria grabs onto the emergency fire hose and ran forward as she tied it around two Elves's waists before leaping up into the air to reach the airborne Elves and swiftly used her super speed to tie the fire hose around three Elves's waist.
Not done with her work yet, Aria then used the two remaining airborne Elves' bodies as stepping stones to jump between them and leaped over to the top of the lockers as Aria spotted two large banners around her, and an idea popped into her head as she reached out to grab the banners and speeds down to the floor as she rushed over to the other side of the hallway and climbed up the all as Aria tied the banner around two nearby columns. Dusting off her hands, Aria then turned her head and spotted the last four Elves moving into fighting stances in slow motion as she grinned mischievously and sped over to move them around to face each other as Aria nodded to herself in satisfaction and took a couple of steps back as she stops running and time resume to a normal pace.
"Blegh!" The Two Elves yelped in surprise as the soda cans that there holding onto sprayed soda into their faces, causing them to stumble backwards as they fell down the staircase while screaming pain all the while.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The Three Tied Up Elves screamed as they crash through the window in the hallway and fell through the air while bringing along the Two Other Tied Up Elves as they were pulled forward and were sent flying out of the hallway window as, due to the combined weight of all of the elves, it rips the fire extinguishing hose straight out of the wall, and it slammed it against the None Tied Up Elf, knocking him out as he crashed down onto the ground.
"Whoa!" The Two Elves shouted while flying over to collide against the banner as they were sent flying forward, and the Duo flew over to crash against the Lockers so hard that they got knocked out and they fall down onto the ground.
"Oof!/Fuck!/Ow!/Shit!" The Four Elves all exclaimed as they threw various punches/kicks/groin attacks at each other, knocking them all unconscious as they crashed down onto the ground just as the Basement Door slowly closed up to reveal a bruised-up Elf as he stumbled forwards and moaned as Aria raised her arm and karate chop him on the back of his head, knocking him out as he falls down onto the ground and the Speedster smiled at herself proudly as she beamed cheerfully.
~{Flashback Over}~
"I have my ways." Aria says as Jessie gave her a puzzled look but nodded as they were about to leave, but stopped as the speakers above them flared to life.
"New Kid, if you don't want to be on the wrong side of this when Wizard Fatass's army fails. Think about what you are doing." Kyle says before shutting off the speaker system as Jessie turned his head and spotted the doors leading to the front entrance of the school as he perked up, and the Duo made their way over to kick down the doors as they spotted several Elves standing behind barricades that are placed around them and in front of the front doors of the South Park Elementary School as Jessie and Aria also spotted Stan and another Elf standing far away from them while armed with a catapult that was filled with flaming bags of dog poop.
"Hey, Douchebag! Let's see how you like some flaming dog shit!" Stan screamed with a glare as he discreetly winked at Jessie and used his catapult to launch various flaming bags filled with dog poop into the air as, instead of hitting the Duo, they impacted against the barricade placed in the front doors, and Jessie perked up as he grinned slyly, but then composed himself as his face then scrunched a bit, and takes a deep breath through his anus as his stomach rumbled a bit.
"Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to impact against the flaming barricade, causing it to blow up and destroy the barricade as the explosion sends the screaming Elves flying away and crashed onto the ground as they groaned and grows unconscious.
"This isn't over!" Stan asked with a fake glare while turning around to run through the doors as he disappeared from sight, and the Elf stayed behind as Jessie went over to open the doors and let all of the Kupa Keep Members inside as they filed into the room.
"Good work, Douchebag," The Grand Wizard says while appearing beside Jessie, who was surprised by his sudden appearance, and he turned to glare at him in surprise.
"What the hell?! Where the fuck did you come from!?" Jessie asked as Aria turned to smile at him cheerfully.
"Oh, he texted me to come and find him, and I did." Aria says as Cartman glared at her.
"Uh, no, I texted Mrs. Douchebag to find me, but instead, I was picked up by a White Power Ranger." Cartman insulted as Aria giggled.
"Oh, that is so fun-Argh!" Aria says before yelping in surprise as the Elf launched a flaming bag of crap into the air and it flew over to impact against the back of Aria's head, causing everyone to gasp in shock as Cartman covered his mouth and stifled his laughter as Aria's eye twitched madly and lowered her head as she clenched her fist. "You...should...all...run..."
"What? Why?" Jessie asked as Aria turned around and hugged herself as she walked forward.
"Because...Brute...will...appear!" Aria screamed with her voice sounding deep and rough as she made her way over to crash behind a barricade and Jessie and the others took a couple of steps back as they heard the sounds of bones cracking and clothes ripping as the Kingdom of Kupa Keep Members then flinched when they spotted several Elves appearing onto the scene and aimed their weapons at them as they were about to attack our faithful protagonists when suddenly a loud roar rang out, and the barricade broke apart to reveal that Heidi had changed into another Sister as she had changed drastically and was now 8-feet-tall with white pupilless eyes, shoulder-length shaggy black hair with a red streak, Red Skin, a heavily muscular slim, and was wearing Heidi's clothes, but was torn and stretched out figure.
"GRRRRRRR, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?! BRUTE WOULD DESTROY YOU ALL!" Brute screamed furiously while reaching behind her and grabbing onto the broken barricade as she then tossed it over to the Elf, who screamed in fear and jumped away from his catapult station as the barricade collided against and broke it apart, causing the flaming bags of crap to splash against him as he moaned in disgust and the rest of the Elves then bravely ran forward to confront the giant 10-year-old...only to turn around and run away in fear as a roaring Brute chased after them and they made their way out of the school.
"Uh...what the hell was that?" A bewildered Tolkien asked as Jessie blinked a couple of times in awe.
"That was hot."
"What?"
"I mean, quick! While she's distracting the Elves, we should use that as an advantage to infiltrate the school." Jessie says as the others nodded, and Tolkien made his way over to begin picking the lock as the blue-haired boy was confused by this. "Wait, why is Token picking the lock? Isn't that Craig's job? Hold on, where is Craig? And Tweek, for that matter?" Jessie asked with a puzzled expression on his face as it was only now that he noticed that the Young Couple was missing.
"Oh they said that they had something to do and left shortly after you let everyone in. Thankfully, though, Tolkien's Picking Locking Skills are Level 2." Butters explained with a smile as Jessie narrowed his eyes suspiciously but nodded as Eric turned to the other members of the KKK.
"Alright, push forward, men! I must save my strength for the final battle and watch this freak beat the shit out of these Elves!" Cartman yelled with a furious Brute being unable to hear what he said due to being distracted by beating up the elves outside of the school as Jessie rolled his eyes in annoyance but nodded as, after Tolkien finished picking the locks on the doors, he opened it, and the blue-haired boy ran forward with Butters following after him as they spotted Stan standing on the other side of the room and twirled his sword around as he glared over at Jessie.
"This ends here, New Kid."
"Yeah, it does. Stay back, Butters. I got this." Jessie says to his friend reassuringly as he nodded and stepped back as Butters watched on as the blue-haired boy steps forward to confront the Elven Ranger.
Narrowing his eyes stoically, Jessie and Stan ran over to slam their weapons against each other as they glared into each other eyes before separating as the black-haired boy raised his sword, and it lit up with red flames as he began swinging his weapon around rapidly, sending out waves of red flames at Jessie, who twirled his Axe of Stopping rapidly as he used it to block his attack before twirling around as he pulled out his Recurve Bow and began firing several arrows at Stan, forcing him to run to the side to avoid the attack as he continued firing multiple streams of fire at him.
Running up a wall to avoid the streams of fire, Jessie then used the wall as a springboard to launch himself forward as he fired more arrows at Stan, who rolled forward into a low crouch as he swung his sword upwards and fired an arc of flames as Jessie reacted quickly and twirled around in mid-air to avoid the attack as he landed on the ground and zoomed forward as Jessie swung his Axe of Stopping at Stan, who lifted up his sword and blocked his attack as sparks fly in between them, and Jessie pretended to trip forward as a grunting Stan placed his feet on his stomach and kicked him upwards into the ground as a grunting Jessie crashed down onto the ground.
Leaping back onto his feet, Stan then turned around and stalked over to Jessie with a mean glare on his face as he raised his sword, and its flames flared up widely as the 10-year-old boy swung his weapon down at the blue-haired boy, who reacted quickly as he broke dance around before slamming his foot on the ground, doing a miniature version of the Ground Stomp and created a mini shockwave that blew back Stan and caused him to drop his sword as Jessie grinned slyly and began swinging his weapon at Stan, who walked backwards as Jessie swung his weapon again and a worried Stan stumbled back as this process repeated over and over again until the blue-haired boy thrusted his arm forward and slammed his hand against the black-haired boy's chest, using his superhuman strength to send him flying over to collide against the lockers.
Groaning in pain, Stan then gasped sharply as Jessie leaped over to throw a kick at him with the black-haired boy quickly rolled out of the way to avoid the attack as the blue-haired boy ended up slamming his foot against the locker and turned to face Stan, who stood up from the floor and swung his flaming sword at Jessie, forcing him to jump back as he pulled out his Recurve Bow and fired various arrows into the air as the Elf Ranger quickly held out his sword and fired a big stream of flames that easily incinerated the arrows into ashes. Blinking in surprise, Jessie then grinned widely as he ran forward with Stan doing the same as they began swinging their weapons at each other repeatedly.
Locking his weapon against Stan's weapon, the 10-year-old boys then separated from each other yet again as Jessie's body glowed blue and covered his weapon with blue electricity as he then slammed his Axe of Stopping onto the floor and rushed forward and he skidded it across the ground as the blue-haired boy then swung his weapon upwards and sends out multiple waves of electricity that flew over to impact against the ground as a big explosion occurred and sends a screaming Stan flying backwards as he crashed against the ground and fall down onto the ground as he whimpered in pain.
"Hah...hah...hah...good fight." A panting Jessie says to a defeated Stan, who continued lying on the floor as he groaned in pain but winked at him discreetly as Jessie did the same before kicking him gently on the stomach and Stan pretended to moan in pain as the blue-haired boy and the blonde-haired boy than made their way up to the second floor of the South Park Elementary School as the Duo was surprised to see two Humans being beaten up by several Elves.
One of the Humans is a 10-year-old Boy with black eyes, dark brown short hair, thick dark brown eyebrows, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of a cream-colored cape that reaches down to his feet, a long-sleeved dark brown coat with a pocket, light brown gloves, a black belt with a silver belt buckle, long dark green pants, and black shoes. His name is Bill Allen, a student at South Park Elementary, and he is Fosse's best friend.
The second Human is a 10-year-old Boy with black eyes, black stringy bald head, thick black eyebrows, a big nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a dark green cape that reaches down to his feet, a long-sleeved navy blue coat with a pocket, pale brown gloves with silver accents, a pale brown belt with a silver belt buckle, long pale brown pants, and black shoes. His name is Fosse McDonald, a student at South Park Elementary, and he is Bill's best friend.
"We gotta help out Bill and Fosse, Jessie!" Butters yelled worriedly as Jessie narrowed his eyes and nodded while letting out a loud battle cry as he and Paladin Butters ran over to confront the Elves.
"Grooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddddddddddddddddd...Stomp!" Jessie exclaimed while jumping up into the air as he then slammed his foot onto the ground, creating a huge shockwave that sends all of the screaming Elves flying up into the air as Butters raised his Warhammer into the air, and a dark gray cloud appeared above him as a bolt of yellow lightning ran down to impact against his weapon and a scowling Butters fired a bolt of lightning at the Elves, electrifying the hell out of them as they crashed down onto the ground and moaned in pain as they tried to sit up from the ground.
"Assault and Battery!" Jessie screamed while pulling out his metal bat and baseball as he threw his baseball up into the air and whack his projectile upwards as it flew through the air, and the baseball collide against all of the Elves' heads, knocking them all out as they crashed down onto the ground in pain. "Hey, you okay guys?" Jessie asked Bill and Fosse, who turned to him and Butters as they began laughing.
"He, he, your gay!" Bill says with a laugh as Fosse nodded in agreement.
"He, he, yeah, he's so gay for saving us. Here's some new stuff for you as a token of our appreciation for saving us, Gay Boy." Fosse says with a chuckle as he handed Jessie a Level 9 Laser Sword, a Level 9 Ninja Sticker, a (Large) Health Potion, and a Mana Potion to Jessie, who pocketed them all as the blue-haired boy stared down at his new weapon in amazement.
"Whoa, a real Laser Sword!" Jessie says with an awed tone as he smiled at the boys. "Thanks. I will treasure this until I reach Level 11 and toss this away because I want more up-to-date weapons, regardless if this is the coolest weapon that I ever had." Jessie says with starry eyes as the Boys nodded and walked away to continue fighting the Elves as Jessie was quick to equip his Level 9 Ninja Sticker into his new weapon, which will allow him to add 1 extra hit to melee weapons.
"He, he, nice." Jessie says with an excited giggle as he then felt his phone's notification sound rang out and pulled out his phone to see that Jimmy had posted a message saying, 'I'm writing an epic madrigal about your cowardly death in this battle' as several Elves liked his post and Jessie rolled his eyes a bit before noticing that Bill and Fosse send him a couple of friend requests as he accepted them and was surprised to see that he had leveled up to Level 10 and was quick to check his Abilities Section as the blue-haired boy leveled up his Horn of Irritation to Level 11, which means that he can now rally his team with Increased Attacks and Ability Damage as Jessie puts away his phone and walked forward as he was delighted to see a Pterdaken Chinpokomon Doll lying around and walked over to bend down to grab it as the speakers suddenly flared to life.
"Last chance, New Kid! He's nothing without you! Walk away from this!" Kyle says before the speaker system was turned off as Jessie rolled his eyes a bit just as he and Butters heard incoming footsteps as they turned around and spotted the rest of the members of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep walking up the steps as they arrived at the second floor of the school.
"Alright, everyone, let's move forward. The KKK is close to finally winning the war and defeating those no good Elves once and for all." The Grand Wizard says as he and the others walked forward as they finally arrived in the hallway leading to all of the classrooms. "Alright, this is it, everyone. You have the honor of leading the final assault, commander." Cartman says as Jessie nodded with a serious glare on his face.
"Got it. Step aside, Lord Fatass." Jessie says as he walked forward and took a deep breath as he raised his leg...and placed it on the wall as he leans over to tie up his shoes and then lowered his leg as Jessie turned around and calmly walked towards the Fifth Grade Classroom as he opened the door and walked inside.
"...What...What...What is he doing?"
"Oh, Jessie needs to loot the area first before proceeding with the fight." Butters says as Eric groaned in annoyance and mumbles something about, 'Stupid Gamers with OCD Behavior to finish a game 100% at all costs' as, back with Jessie, we see that he was able to finish looting the whole classroom in no time and was able to find 20 Cents, a Preppy Wig, a Tribal Tattoo, a Totally Metal Mohawk, and a Level 7 Drill Bit Patch as he walked past the Classroom Pet, which turned out to be named Lemmiwinks as he had sent a friend request to him...somehow, but Jessie eventually accepted it anyway as the speakers sparkled to life.
"Seriously, Douchebag, you're breaking my balls here." Kyle says with a blank, irritated tone as Jessie once again rolled his eyes while needing to tell him later that he was overplaying his role as he then composed himself and turned around as Jessie walked out of the Fifth Grade Classroom.
"Alright, I'm done. Let's do this shit." Jessie says while walking over to the Fourth Grade Classroom as he took a deep breath and raised his leg as he kicked the door open, and the Kingdom of Kupa Keep Members walked in as they spotted Kyle standing in front of them.
"Back away from the desk, Jew King!" Cartman ordered with a glare as Kyle glared back at him furiously.
"The Stick of Truth doesn't belong with a fat, racist liar!" Kyle yelled as Eric narrowed his eyes at him before turning to Jessie as he pointed at the Jewish Boy.
"Alright, Kyle, you fucking asked for it! Go ahead and kick his ass, Douchebag!"
"Yeah, go ahead and kick his ass, Jessie." Kyle says as Jessie grinned slyly nodded.
"Sure, I will." Jessie says while stepping forward as he raised his Laser Sword and raised it upwards...before suddenly swinging at Cartman's face, slicing and burning it as he crashed down onto the ground and the rest of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep Members gasps in shock and confusion.
"What the hell?! Douchebag, what are you doing!?" An angry Cartman asked as Jessie glared at him stoically and stepped forward as the blue-haired boy kicked him hard on the stomach.
"What does it look like, dumbass? I'm betraying your ass...only you, not the Kingdom of Kupa Keep." Jessie added in after spotting the betrayed looks on Butters and the others as they then sighed in relief and were about to move forward to protect their king but Butters and the others were stopped by Stan appearing out of nowhere as he held out his sword in front of them and nodded over at Jessie and Kyle, who nodded back as they turned back to an enraged Cartman.
"I can't believe it! I always knew that you were a freaking douchebag! How could you betray me?! Especially after I brought you into the game and treated you with so much respect! I thought you were my friend?!" Cartman screamed furiously while glaring up at Jessie, who walked over to grab onto the front of robes and twirled him around to slam him against a wall hard enough that it cracked as the blue-haired boy glared into his eyes.
"Let me tell you something, you fat fuck! Don't try to make me feel bad for betraying you! I know who you really are! Kyle and Stan told me all about you!" Jessie says with a scowl, causing Eric to freeze a bit as he realized that the jig was up. "I couldn't believe that I didn't see this sooner! Ever since I joined the game, you have done NOTHING to help us out in battle! All you do is sit around on your ass doing nothing but eat cheesy poofs and have everyone else fight your battles! You're nothing but a fat, racist, anti-semetic, murderous, sexist, sociopath asshole! And, not to mention, a cheater! I know that you were the one that stole the Stick of Truth so that you can trick me into recruiting the Goth Kids!" Jessie screamed angrily while punching him multiple times in his face as he then threw him forward, and a grunting Eric crashed through all of the desks, destroying them as he crashed down onto the ground and moaned in pain as Jessie stepped forward while cracking his knuckles.
"And now that I don't have to worry about hurting Butter and my other friends, I'm going to enjoy spending the next few minutes kicking your ass!" Jessie screamed as Eric coughed out blood and shakily got up from the ground as the fat boy glared at him.
"T-That's it, Douchebag! If you want a fight, I will give you one! You're going to pay for joining for that evil Jew King!" Cartman shouted while gripping his staff tightly as he and Jessie charged over to attack each other.
Not even bothering to hide his super strength due to his anger, Jessie barreled through the school desks as he shattering them apart or knocking them back as he reached Cartman and raised his arm as the blue-haired boy threw a punch at his face, sending him flying back as he crashed against the wall with a pained yelp as Jessie then pulled out his Laser Blade and twirled around before charging forward as he swung at Eric, who panicked and narrowly moved to the left to avoid the attack as his Laser Blade cut through the wall.
Shivering in fear from the close call, Cartman then glared at Jessie before grinning slyly as he pulled out a lighter and a spray can as the Grand Wizard combined them together and pressed the trigger as the Fat Boy fired a stream of intense fire at Jessie, who reacted quickly and his eyes glowed blue as the waves of flames surrounded him, seemingly roasting him alive, but really Jessie created a blue energy electric shield around him to protect him from the flames as he then used his anal probe to warp behind Cartman and raised his leg to deliver a mighty kick at his back that sends him flying forward as he crashed down onto the ground.
Activating his Bull Rush Move, Jessie then puts on his football helmet and bends down, and skids his feet on the ground repeatedly before charging forward as he collided with Cartman's ass, sending him flying forward and crashing against a wall with a pained moan. Smirking cockily and activating his Ground Stomp Move, Jessie then crouched down and jump into the air as he sailed past Eric's head and landed behind him, creating a huge shockwave that sends the screaming Cartman flying ahead as Jessie quickly activated his Assault and Battery Move as he pulled out his metal bat and baseball as the blue-haired boy then tossed up the ball into the air and was quick to use his Super Strength whack the baseball forward as it flew over to collide against the Grand Wizard's stomach, sending him flying up to collide against the ceiling as he then fell down onto a few desks with a pained whimper.
Walking up to the heavily injured Grand Wizard, Jessie then pulled out his air horn and fastened his football helmet to make sure that it was still on his head as he then pressed his Airhorn, and the blue-haired boy sends out a loud horn sound as a big soundwave blast impacted Cartman's body, causing him to let out a loud scream as he clutched his bleeding ears in pain and turned over to glare at Jessie as Eric gritted his teeth.
"Son of a bitch...bastard...bitchtit...cuntslucker...slut...cockmaster...Velma Mindy Kaling!" Cartman exclaimed, and his body was covered with white electricity as he fired multiple bolts of electricity at a surprised Jessie, and they impacted against his body as a big explosion rang out.
"What the hell!? Cartman, you still have the V-Chip?!" A surprised Kyle asked as Stan nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, I thought it was taken out by Kenny's wish to the Devil!" Stan pointed out as Eric turned to shrug at him.
"Yeah, I don't know why, but the V-Chip it's still in my skull. Although it had melted onto my skull, and it really comes and goes sometimes. I'm surprised that it worked this time." Cartman says with a shrug before grinning evilly as he chuckled. "But it's a good thing that it did come back because I was able to defeat Douchebag once and for all."
"...My...name...is...not...fucking...DOUCHEBAG!" A familiar voice rang out from within the dust cloud as a pair of glowing blue eyes could be seen glaring over at Cartman before a roaring Jessie charged over to attack Cartman, who flinched in fear as he quickly reached into his robes and pulled out a Magic Missle, which was really one of his Mom's tampons as he tossed it forward and a wincing Jessie skids to a stop as he moved to the side to avoid the disgusting attack before countering the attack by scrunching his face a bit and takes a deep breath through his anus as his stomach rumbled a bit.
"Cup-A-Spell!" Jessie exclaimed while hovering his hand behind his ass as he then lets out a loud fart bubble and cupped it as Jessie lets out a loud yell and thrust his arm forward as his fart bubble flew over to impact against Cartman's face, causing him to yelp in surprise and disgust as he flailed around a bit before composing himself as Eric glared over at Jessie angrily before grinning slyly as he came up with a malicious idea on how to take out Douchebag once and for all as Eric pulled out his lighter and then lowered his pants as he then aimed his ass towards the blue-haired boy and grunted as Eric lets out a loud continuous fart in front of the lit lighter, causing it to let out a huge stream of intense red/orange fire towards Jessie, who was surprised by the sight of the flames heading toward him and struggled to come up with a plan to counter his attack before an idea popped into his head as the blue-haired boy grinned cheekily.
"Dragonshout!" Jessie exclaimed with his face scrunching up a bit as he takes a deep breath through his anus and his stomach rumbled a bit as Jessie gritted his teeth before whirling around to have his ass face Cartman as he lets out a loud continuous fart that collided against the stream of intense flames and a beam war occurred as the duo struggled to defeat each other and the KKK and Elf Kingdom watched on in anticipation and awe as a red-faced, grunting Jessie was able to eventually overpower Cartman as the flames washed over the Grand Wizard.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TELL KYLE TO SUCK MY BALLS!" Cartman exclaimed in agony and pain as, once the flames dissipated, a heavily burnt up and charred Grand Wizard can be seen standing in place as a stoic Jessie walked over to use his Roshambo Move to throw up a kick up his balls, causing him to scream in pain as he crashed down onto the ground.
"Eric Cartman, I speak for everyone in South Park when I say for everything you have ever done in your sad and miserable life, you are going to pay." Jessie says with a furious growl as a scared and a whimpering Cartman crawls backwards.
"Yo-You can't be serious?" Cartman asked with a glare before yelping in fear as Jessie reached down to grab onto him and twirled him around to slam him against the wall hard enough that it cracked.
"Note...the serious...face!" Jessie exclaimed with a deadly serious expression on his face as Cartman sniffled and started crying in fear as he struggled.
"Please, Douchebag, don't hurt me even more! I beg of you!"
"No! Enough of that stupid bullshit! I am sick of you calling me that! I want you to say my real name! Say it!" Jessie ordered while glaring into his eyes venomously as Eric sweated nervously and looked around.
"Uh...errr...your real...name...is...Je...Je...Je...Je...JESSIE GLADSTONE!" Cartman exclaimed loudly into the heavens as lightning rang around them.
"Your goddamn right!" Jessie screamed with a victorious smirk on his face as he proceeds to give him a wicked headbutt across his face, knocking him out as he then tossed him away carelessly, and an unconscious, heavily injured Cartman crashed down onto the ground with everyone staring at Jessie in shock and amazement as, before they could react, Heidi walked into the classroom while still wearing her armor as it was amazingly not ripped to shreds.
"Hey, guys, what did I miss?" Heidi asked curiously before noticing Cartman's condition as she winced. "Oof, man...I missed the best part! Aw man!"
"It's okay, Heidi. I made sure to have Kyle place cameras around the classroom so that we can watch me kick Cartman's ass for all eternity." Jessie says with a smile as Heidi perked up and nodded as they shared a high five. "Alright, now that I beat up Cartman, let's wait for him to wake up so that we can interrogate him and ask him where he hid the Stick of Truth."
"Wait, what? What do you mean, Jessie? Eric didn't steal the Stick of Truth." Butters says as a bewildered Jessie and the others turned to him.
"Butters, I know that you were Cartman's Paladin, but you don't have to lie to defend him-,"
"No, guys, you don't understand. Cartman didn't steal the Stick of Truth. I should know because, the night before the stick was stolen, he and I talked all night about our next plans in defeating the Elves once and for all, and we were using face cam, so I know that Cartman didn't go and steal the Stick of Truth."
"And to be fair, if Cartman did steal the Stick of Truth, he would most likely place it underneath Kyle's bed to frame him of cheating." Tolkien pointed out as Jessie and the others shared stunned expressions.
"I...I can't believe it, but Tolkien is right. That is something that Cartman would totally do." Kyle says as an incredulous Jessie turned around to walk forward.
"But, I don't get it. If Cartman didn't steal the Stick of Truth, then who did?" Jessie asked just as a crumpled piece of paper was tossed into his face as he reflexively grabbed it and Jessie and the others turned their heads as they noticed two mysterious figures clinging onto the window before they dropped down and disappeared from sight as, after recovering from the shock of what just happened, Jessie then opened up the crumbled piece of paper. "Check Clyde's Locker." Jessie says while reading from the white envelope that was given to him as he raised a bewildered eyebrow. "Clyde? Isn't that the kid that got banished on the day that I joined?" Jessie asked as Butters nodded confusedly.
"Yeah, but what the heck is going on?" Butters asked as he and the others then left the Fourth Grade Classroom while knowingly leaving behind the heavily injured and unconscious Grand Wizard as they entered the hallway and looked around as the Group spotted Clyde's Locker and Jessie, Heidi, Stan, Butters, and Kyle walked over to it as Randy's Son opened the locker and everyone saw a laptop inside as the blue-haired boy reached over to grab it and opened it up as the Gang was surprised to see a grinning Clyde appearing on the screen.
"Greetings, Humans and Drow Elves of Zaron." Clyde says while holding onto a Stick of Truth as he was wearing a new outfit, which consisted of him wearing a crown that was a purple headband with taped-together gray spikes that are made out of cardboard as it also has a small white skull planted in the front of the crown, a long red cape that reaches down to his feet, a long-sleeved dark gray/purple armor with black shoulder pads, purple/black hockey gloves, and purple/black armored boots.
"Clyde!" A gasping Stan yelled as Heidi blinked a couple of times in confusion.
"Wait, what? I thought Jessie said that Clyde used to be apart of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep? Wasn't he on your side?" Heidi asked with a puzzled expression on her face as Butters shakes his head with a small sigh.
"Not anymore, it seems." Butters says somberly as Jessie's jaw dropped in shock.
"I can't believe it! Clyde was the one who stole the Stick of Truth?! What a plot twist!" Jessie exclaimed with a gasp as his eyes went wide.
"While you have all been busy fighting amongst yourselves, I have built a Kingdom beyond your comprehension! I prayed for a way to destroy you all, and the solution came crashing down from the heavens!" Clyde says with an evil grin on his face as he walked over to a biohazard barrel with a spigot in it and a dead cat lying beside it.
"Oh no, it's more of that green stuff!" A glaring Kyle yelled as Jessie and Heidi shared a concerned look while biting their lips.
"With what I have found, I shall raise an army of the dead." Clyde says while pulling out a ladle as he then reached over to open up the valve on the barrel, and it started pouring out more of that alien green goo as it filed the ladle, and Clyde walked over to pour the alien goo down on the dead cat, causing it to resurrect to life and transform into a Nazi Zombie Cat as it yelled something in German. "I SHALL RAISE AN ENTIRE ARMY OF DARKNESS AND KILL THE EARTH!"
"Clyde...but why?" Stan asked, wondering why the hell Clyde betrayed all of them like this as the blue-haired boy turned to him.
"Clyde is all pissed off because Cartman banished him from space and time and is acting like a petty little bitch boy because I beat him in a fight." Jessie explained to Stan as he nodded in understanding.
"So, you see, fools, I control the Stick of Truth and the future of the Earth," Clyde says while holding up the Stick of Truth as he was about to continue with his evil monologue, but was cut off by a man's voice in the background.
"Clyde, do you want a sandwich?"
"Not now, Dad, I'm making a ruler of darkness video," Clyde says while turning to face his Dad with an annoyed frown as he then turned back to face the camera with a sinister smirk on his face. "Whoever controls the Stick of Truth controls the universe, and my first deed is that I hereby denounce the Human and the Elf Kingdoms and strip both Kings of all of their power! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" Clyde screamed while laughing evilly as the video was then shut off and, much to everyone's shock, Kyle's crown dried up as it broke apart as, back at the Fourth Grade Classroom, an unconscious Cartman lost the smiley face on his wizard's hat, signifying the lose of the Duo's ranks as official Kings of the Human and the Elf Kingdoms as everyone went silent from this new revelation.
"...THAT SON OF A BITCH WILL FUCKING PAY!" Jessie screamed furiously while crushing the laptop into a billion pieces, and his eyes glowed blue as everyone cheered in agreement and turned around to run away as, 30 minutes later, we see Jessie, Heidi, Stan, Kyle, and Butters making their way through the city of South Park as they were able to arrive at Clyde's House and the blue-haired boy was quick to slam his fists onto the door roughly as it opened up and a man poked himself out to stare down at the kids confusedly.
The Man is 35 years old with black eyes, short nearly balding dark brown hair, thin dark brown eyebrows, a big stumpy nose, a large chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of a pair of rectangular-shaped black glasses, a long-sleeved dark green coat with a high-collard white buttoned shirt underneath, long dark blue pants, and black shoes. His name is Roger Donovan, Clyde's Widowed Father and Shoe Shop Owner.
"Oh, hello, boys,"
"CAN WE SPEAK TO CLYDE, PLEASE, SIR?!" Jessie screamed loudly while barely restraining his anger as Heidi reached over to grab his hand to calm him down.
"Oh, Clyde's out playing in the backyard with his little friends. Do you kids want some snacks?"
"NO, BUT THANKS FOR ASKING, MR. CLYDE'S DAD! YOU'RE A REALLY NICE PERSON!" Jessie shouted while he and the others entered the house as they all arrived at the backyard, and everyone looked up in shock at the sight of a humungous wooden tower placed in the middle of the backyard as it was covered in skull flags. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! HOW DID HE DO THIS IN LESS THAN TWO FREAKING DAYS!? AND WHY IS IT WAY COOLER THAN BOTH THE HUMAN AND ELF KINGDOMS COMBINED?! THIS IS PURE BULLSHIT!" Jessie exclaimed in pure anger, frustration, and jealousy, voicing everyone's thoughts as a smirking Clyde appeared on the balcony that was attached to the top of the tower.
"COME AND GET IT, LOSERS! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" Clyde laughed evilly as Jessie and the others glared up at him with frustration and fury.
"CLYDE! I KNOW ITS BULLCRAP, BUT LORD FATASS BANISHED YOU FROM TIME AND SPACE!" Stan screamed as Kyle nodded in agreement with a glare on his face.
"YEAH, YOU CAN'T JUST APPEAR AND STEAL THE STICK OF TRUTH! THAT'S CALLED CHEATING, CLYDE!" Kyle shouted as Clyde shakes his head.
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
"YES, IT IS!"
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
"YES, IT IS!"
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
"YES, IT IS!"
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
"YES, IT IS!"
"NO, IT'S FUCKING NOT!"
"YES, IT FUCKING IS!" Kyle and Stan yelled in unison as a glaring Clyde shakes his head while raising his hands.
"ENOUGH OF THIS! ARMY OF DARKNESS! DEFEND THE FORTRESS!" Clyde ordered as, much to everyone's shock, the Vampire Kids, the Evil Pirates, and the Ogre Warriors appeared out of the tower as they glared down at the stunned group, and Jessie and the others were shocked to see that a somber-looking Craig and Tweek appeared to stand beside a grinning Clyde.
"CRAIG?! TWEEK!? WHAT THE WHAT?!" A shocked Butters asked as Jessie blinked a couple of times in surprise.
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO WITH CLYDE, OF ALL PEOPLE?!"
"WE'RE SORRY, BUT YOU ALL DON'T HAVE AUTHORITY ANYMORE, THE KEEPER OF THE STICK OF TRUTH SAID SO." Craig says with his usual monotone voice, but it had a twinge of sadness in it as a sad Tweek held hands with him.
"Shit, this is bad. Really bad." Stan says through gritted teeth as the others nodded in agreement.
"YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, CLYDE!" Jessie screamed definitely while walking forward bravely as he pointed up at him. "I DON'T KNOW WHEN OR HOW, BUT ONE DAY, YOU WILL FALL, AND THE STICK OF TRUTH WILL GO BACK TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNERS! WE WILL HAVE OUR REVENGE! THIS I SWEAR!" Jessie exclaimed with a mean glare on his face as Clyde narrowed his eyes down at him stoically.
"TRUST ME, DOUCHEBAG, WE WILL HAVE OUR REMATCH, AND MY REVENGE ON YOU WILL BE SWIFT AND BRUTAL, BUT I'M AFRAID YOUR ALL TOO LATE!" Clyde screamed as the Kids shared a surprised, confused look since they expected the final battle to begin now and not later.
"Too late? What does he mean by that?" A bewildered Heidi asked just as Marjorine appeared on the scene, and she walked over to him.
"There you are, Butters. It's a good thing that I caught you because it's like really late, Little Man. It's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past your bedtime."
"Wait, what?!" A surprised Butters asked as all of the other kids gasped in shock.
"Oh shit, it's past our bedtime?!" A flabbergasted Stan asked as Marjorine nodded.
"Yeah, it's like 11:00 pm," Marjorine says while crossing her arms underneath her large breasts as Kyle moans in worry and gripped his metal club in dismay and fear.
"Dude, I'm gonna get it!" Kyle says as he and all of the other kids then turned around to run out of Clyde's Backyard with said person laughing maniacally while raising the Stick of Truth and the clouds above them darkened as lighting rang out, and Jessie and Heidi can be seen glaring up at him furiously as they both figured out that the War is FAR from over...it has just begun.
And done! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I can't wait to write the next one. Anyway, here are the Voice Actors for Heidi's Sisters:
1) Jade's Voice Actor: Paula Burrows.
2) Aria's Voice Actor: Fryda Wolff.
3) Brute's Voice Actor: Dawn M. Bennett.
Anyway, as always, I will catch you all later.
