'Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Warning: None for this chapter

Chapter 47 – Faltering Steps

James and Sirius managed to keep their distance through dinner. Afterward, when everyone went onto the deck to enjoy the cool sea breeze, it was easy to hide their estrangement behind the common façade of fatigue from travel.

When Margaret and Hal retired for the night, the four young people remained behind, sitting close together on opposite benches, watching the peaceful flow of waves onto the shore.

Eventually, Kate rose and declared that she was exhausted and was heading off to sleep. Lily gave James a quick kiss on his cheek and announced that she was heading off to bed, as well. Before they knew what they were about, James and Sirius were standing on the now-abandoned deck, just staring at one another.

"That wasn't very subtle of them," James muttered as he took a seat at the granite-topped table in the center of the space.

Sirius nodded as he sat opposite the other boy. "I think they've decided to ditch subtlety where we're concerned."

Things were silent for a while then James decided to take a page from the girls' book.

"Why did you give me my stuff back the way you did?"

"Sorry?"

"My stuff. Why did you give it all back to me back at school? You piled it on my bed when you moved out," James clarified.

"Oh." Well, this is starting rather in the middle, isn't it? "It belonged to you. I figured you'd want it back, so I gave it to you."

"Left it for me. You didn't give it to me. To do that you would have had to speak to me – which you didn't. You just moved out and you didn't say anything; just left my stuff piled on my bed," James said, picking at a small tear in the knee of his jeans.

"Well, it wasn't exactly easy to talk to you, James. As you'll remember, you pretty much told me you didn't want anything to do with me," Sirius said, voice rising a bit.

"You fuckin' moved out," James gritted out. "You didn't tell us fuck all about where you were going. You ate by yourself at the other end of the table in the Hall – when you were still eating in the Hall with the rest of the school. You sat by yourself in classes. And you spent every bloody morning running in fuckin' circles down at the Pitch – alone. Not exactly an invitation for conversation, was it?"

"Neither was punching me in the face before deciding that five years of friendship didn't mean enough for you to even ask me why I did what I did," Sirius pointed out. "It was like our entire friendship boiled down to that one event; that one stupid decision. You couldn't just be mad at me, James; you stopped being my friend. Any time I talked to you, you reminded me that you were Remus' friend, too. I meant it when I said that it felt like you were Remus' friend period. You chose, Jamie; you fuckin' chose – and your choice was to keep Remus as a friend and to throw me away! What about that decision was supposed to make me stay in the dorm room with people who didn't want me there?"

James jumped up and came around the end of the table toward Sirius, hands clenched into fists by his sides. "I never said that I chose Remus over you. Never! And if you thought so, why in hell didn't you say something to me? I would have told you that!"

Sirius rose and walked to where James was standing and he leaned so close to the other boy that their noses were practically touching. "Liar!" Sirius took a step back. "You wouldn't have told me shite. I tried to talk to you. I tried – and do you remember what you said to me? No? Well, let me help you. You told me that you weren't interested in hearing why, that it was bad enough that I'd done it in the first place. You said you'd leave it up to Dumbledore to suss out my reasoning. You shut the door on me, James. You. No one else."

James just stared at the other boy, his mouth open slightly, eyes wide.

"We're not getting anywhere with this and I'm tired. I'm going to bed. At the risk of being told this is my answer to everything, do you want me to sleep on the sofa? I can move before your parents come downstairs in the morning so they won't ask questions, if you like," Sirius offered, his voice quiet now.

James came out of his stupor at this and blushed, remembering the conversation he'd had with Kate and Lily in which he'd made much the same sarcastic comment about Sirius' running. "No. You don't have to move out of the room."

Sirius nodded. "I'll just stay out of your way, then." He walked over to the sliding doors and put his hand on the black metal handle. Rather than push it to the side, Sirius stopped. Without turning around, he spoke again. "You know something, James? I know that all of this isn't all about me – even though it was something I did that caused all the trouble to start. I know that what I did was wrong. But Jamie, what really hurts is that you can't make your mind up about me on your own. You can't decide for yourself if we can be friends again. You have to think about Remus and what it will do to your friendship with him if you forgive me and we become friends again." Sirius turned and looked at James. "It's like you'll only be my friend again if it doesn't cost you anything; if it doesn't cost you Remus. I've got news for you, James; Remus wants less to do with me than you do, so if our friendship depends on his opinion then we might just as well give it up now."

James stood in shocked silence and didn't realize Sirius had left until he heard the soft slide of the screen door as it closed.

XXXXXXXX

Kate and Lily lay in their beds, sleep coming to neither. Their room was situated at the front of the house, high over the deck and overlooking the sea. They had opened both of the large front windows to take advantage of the cool ocean breeze and, if they were to be completely honest, to make certain the two boys on the deck did not come to blows. They lay, silently listening to the rise and fall of two voices - sometimes loud in anger and intensity, at other times soft and persuasive – and sad. It was difficult to tell how the conversation was progressing; the sound of the waves rushing onto the shingle-covered shoreline dominated at times. As they listened, both girls suddenly became aware that the time between the crashing of the waves no longer revealed the hum of voices; instead, there now was silence. As Lily drew breath to speak, the sound of soft footsteps were heard on the stairs. They passed the girls' closed door with only the slightest hesitation before continuing down the long hallway. Presently they heard the sound of a door closing.

"Which do you think?" Lily whispered.

Kate shrugged then remembered the other girl couldn't see her. "No idea."

After a short time, Kate heard the rustle of sheets then the padding of bare feet across the carpeted floor. In the moonlight coming through the window, Kate saw Lily quietly remove the screen from the window and place it on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Kate whispered.

"The deck is right below us. I might be able to see which one is left if he moves toward the railing. The awning only covers the table and benches. Maybe he'll move," she replied, her whisper barely able to be heard.

The redhead leaned out of the window to her waist and craned her neck to see who might be occupying the deck below. It seemed hours before she finally pulled out of the window and replaced the screen. Catching Kate's eye, Lily mouthed, "James."

Kate couldn't help but wonder if Sirius had run away or managed to speak his mind. The urge to slip down the hallway to his room and check on him was almost overwhelming.

"You have to stay here, you know," it was as if Lily could read her thoughts. "If James should suddenly come upstairs, ready to talk to Sirius, you could make him change his mind."

It was a reasonable observation with which Kate agreed. "I know, Lily; it just doesn't make it any easier."

XXXXXXXX

Sirius undressed to his boxers and slipped into bed. He felt at once saddened that his conversation with James had been so heated and elated that he'd managed to say what he'd wanted and needed to say for so long. He flipped over onto his side, propping up his head with his hand and gazing outside in the direction of the sea. It hurt to think that now, three months after the prank, James could still hold their friendship hostage to Remus' opinion of him. Had their friendship been so superficial that it could be thrown away so easily? Sirius felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes. He had long said that James and he were really brothers; how could he have been so wrong? Even Regulus didn't abandon him when things got rough. Sirius remembered Regulus risking discovery to slip down to the cellar and bring Sirius toast at Christmas. He recalled Dumbledore's comment about Regulus summoning Orion from Paris the morning after Sirius had run away. Even in his fear, Regulus had been there for him in the ways that he could be. James, however, had always been fearless; he'd taken Sirius' side in conflicts at school and had stood with him, decrying his parents and figuring out ways that Sirius wouldn't have to go back to Grimmauld Place. James had opened his home to Sirius and had made him feel like he belonged as part of the Potter family. Now, only James' parents – particularly his mum – gave him that sense of belonging. I know what I did was beyond wrong, the young wizard thought as he roughly wiped his eyes on the pillowslip. But when the bloody fuck is it going to be over? Feeling the beginnings of a headache, Sirius dropped his head back down on the pillow and pulled the light sheet up over his shoulder. He needed to sleep, to escape it all, if only for a while. Breathing deeply, Sirius worked to clear his mind of the conflict and emotions; his goal was to be asleep before James came upstairs. He did not want to continue their discussion tonight.

XXXXXXXX

Downstairs on the deck, James wasn't thinking about retiring for the night. For perhaps the first time since the prank and its aftermath, James had more than heard what Sirius had to say; this time, he had actually listened. Before tonight, the normally logical and even-tempered Gryffindor had been too preoccupied with the shock and fall-out of his friend's actions to stop and think about what might have precipitated them. Truth be told, he really hadn't cared. Sirius' actions had been so shocking, do potentially damaging to all of them that James couldn't have envisioned a single reason that would have justified them. Therefore, he refused to allow that there was any justification. James sat down heavily on the bench at the edge of the deck as his thoughts tumbled over one another. He recalled with great clarity how Sirius had behaved in the immediate aftermath of the prank, after he and Peter had returned from Dumbledore's office and in the weeks and months that had followed. That his friend regretted his actions was not in doubt; he had applied himself to classes, found a way to remain fit without Quidditch and had purposefully avoided contact with any of them. He was definitely not the Sirius of old – there were no pranks, no jokes and, most telling of all was the fact that he cut Snape a very wide path, as well. To James' knowledge, Sirius had ignored Snape as studiously as he had once sought to plague him. James sighed and ran his hand through his already impossible hair. Had Sirius finally realized the gravity of what he had done? Did he now understand how many lives could have been altered if the situation had turned out any differently? Could Sirius be trusted again?

"Can't sleep?"

James jumped and turned in the direction of the voice. Hal Potter stood near the door, hands resting in the pockets of his robe.

James shook his head. "My body's willing, but my brain doesn't agree, I guess."

Hal smiled and walked over to sit next to his son. "Happens to the best of us, son." He looked appraisingly at James for a moment. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Sirius and that business that happened near the end of term, would it?"

James gave his father a sad smile and nodded. "How'd you guess?"

"Well, when you have my job, you rather learn to evaluate all the evidence in a situation," he responded, bumping his shoulder into James' to punctuate his comment. "I will say, however, that this particular set of circumstances doesn't take a great deal of evaluation to recognize the problem."

James nodded. "Dad, I just don't know what to do."

"I take it the two of you have talked," Hal probed gently.

"Yeah; tonight, after everyone went to bed. I'm just so angry with him, and I can't get past it. What he did was so stupid – more stupid than I'd ever thought Sirius could be; and he can do some pretty stupid things." James paused, glancing over at his father thoughtfully. "How much do you know about what happened?"

"Not much," Hal confessed. "But I gather that it had to do with Remus and that another student – or students – might have been put at risk."

James nodded, quietly considering how much he could safely tell his father. He trusted him, there was no question about that, but he was mindful of Hal's position with the Ministry. There were certain things that he would be bound to elevate or report, no matter how he learned of them or whom they involved. James wasn't certain that Remus' situation wouldn't be one of those things.

As if his father sensed the reason for his hesitation, Hal spoke, "James, you can speak to me in confidence without worry that I'll have to take some sort of official action. When Remus told us of his condition before he accepted our invitation to visit that first summer, that young man earned my respect and – insofar as I can provide it – my protection. Sirius has my respect and protection, as well; you know that, too. You, however, are my son and I want to help you in any way that I can. I won't push you, but know that if you decide to talk to me, it will go no further."

James nodded, not immediately trusting his voice. After clearing his throat, James told his father about the prank, its aftermath and where things now stood between the friends – including the conversation of just a short while ago. The only piece Hal didn't hear involved the boys' status as Animagi; despite his reassurances, James didn't think his father could – or would – allow his son to break the law and remain unregistered. Hal had remained silent throughout James' tale, occasionally nodding at one point or another. When James finished, the two sat in silence, watching the ocean waves shimmer in the moonlight. Finally, Hal spoke.

"I think it is one of life's most particular cruelties to be confronted with the failings of our friends," he said quietly. "Particularly those friends whom we've brought into the circle of our families – not as a visitor, but as a sort of member. I won't bore you with the details, but I've been through that sort of discovery in the past and I know how painful it is to sort through. Are you looking for a bit of advice?"

James smiled gratefully. "I could really use some."

"Sirius, as wrong as he's been in this, has a point. You're dealing with two separate issues: forgiveness of a friend's betrayal and a decision to believe that it is safe to trust that friend again – to resume your relationship in spite of all that's happened. Reestablishing trust is difficult in and of itself. While you might forgive the person's actions, the decision to accept them and trust them again is much more difficult. Of course you're concerned about Remus and how he might react to the news that you've forgiven Sirius and resumed your friendship. That's a valid point given your friendship as a group; but you and Sirius are friends as individuals, as well," Hal reasoned with his son. "Whether or not your group continues as before, you must confront the issue of your own friendship with Sirius. There are some things that fall outside of the influence of a single group."

"So, you're saying that I can't worry about Remus' opinion on this; I have to make the decision on my own."

"I am. James, whatever Sirius' motivation was to act the way he did, he has always been an exceptional friend to you – and you have been a wonderful friend to him, as well. If you look back on all that your friendship was before this incident and you cannot judge it worth saving, then you must walk away. But, if you find that the magnitude of Sirius' mistake does not exceed the value of his friendship, then you must forgive him and resolve to move forward, despite what others may think or say. And, once you forgive him, you must do it honestly and wholeheartedly – and without looking back. Do you understand?"

James nodded. "Yes. If I forgive Sirius, I have to do it completely and trust him as my friend again, without holding anything back."

Hal patted James' shoulder. "Exactly."

"I hate this," James bit out. "I want things to go back to the way they were before this happened."

Hal smiled sadly. "You know that they can't; too much has happened and you cannot go back. You can only go forward."

"I know, Dad. I've spent so much time turning what happened over and over in my head that I feel like my brain is going to explode."

"Well, maybe you need to stop replaying it all in your head and think about it from a different angle," Hal suggested.

"So, stop thinking of what Sirius did and think about why he did it, instead?" James asked, feeling a little guilty about shutting Sirius down when he wanted to talk about the reasons.

Hal shook his head. "Is the 'why' of it so important? If I was in your position, I might take a look at what I know about Sirius' typical behavior. I know him to be rather impulsive – reactive rather than proactive at times. Isn't it possible that he might have reacted badly to something this other boy said or did and acted spontaneously as a result?"

James nodded. "I suppose; Sirius kept saying that he didn't think. When we spoke in the dorm that night, I was just so furious with him that I told him exactly what would have happened to Remus if we hadn't been able to pull Snape out of the tunnel. Dad, you should have seen Sirius' face; he never even thought about consequences for Remus."

"'He didn't think.' James, Sirius is an extremely intelligent young man, but that doesn't mean that his common sense prevails when his temper is provoked. And, the fact that he has that character flaw doesn't make him a bad person – someone who is unredeemable – in my own opinion, anyway. You saw Sirius' face; do you think it was ever his intent to endanger or harm Remus in any way?"

"No!" James shook his head, adamant in his belief. "Sirius has tried too hard to protect Remus in the past. He cares too much about Remus to intentionally hurt him – he …" James stopped and looked up at his father, who smiled back at him.

"He?" Hal prompted.

James felt his eyes fill and he looked out at the ocean again. "He would stand in front of any of us and take a curse on our behalf. He thinks of us as his family, since he doesn't consider the Blacks as such." James turned back to his father. "And he thinks I've decided he's not worth my friendship."

"Is he?"

James thought back to everything they'd gone through over the past 5 years; how Sirius had confided in him the horrors of his life at Grimmauld Place, how Sirius had protected and schemed to help Ofelia and, after everything, how Sirius had been behaving in the months after that one, horrible night. He felt the tears slip down his cheeks and he wiped them away roughly.

"Yes," he whispered.

Hal reached over and put his arm around James' shoulders. "James, it's never easy when friends disappoint us, especially when those friends are as close to us as is Sirius. It's a sign of maturity that you could look beyond his actions and see his true character. I'm proud of you, son."

"I'm not sure you should be; it took me long enough to get here," James said quietly.

"Oh, I don't know. I think everything happens in its own time. Given what you've told me, there wasn't much opportunity while you were still at Hogwarts and you can't take tonight's attempt at conversation too seriously. It was the first time you'd been in a position to speak; it was bound to be … emotional. The next time will be easier." Hal patted James' back and stood. "Come on; let's head upstairs. Your mother is going to think I've gotten lost and you look like you could do with some sleep."

"If Sirius is awake, I want to tell him…" James began, but Hal stopped him.

"Why not wait until morning? You'll both be more rested and things are apt to go better."

James nodded. He was exhausted – physically and emotionally. "You're probably right. I'll wait."

Father and son walked through the sliding doors and into the cool dining area of the house. They walked silently down the hall and as they reached the staircase, James put a hand on his father's arm. "Thanks, Dad. I mean it; I wouldn't have figured this out on my own – at least not for a lot longer than it took talking with you."

Hal smiled and hugged his son briefly. "I love you, James. Get some rest, now."

"I love you, too. 'night," James climbed the stairs, feeling how truly weary he was. Hal watched James until he turned down the hallway toward his room and then, with a soft smile, Hal did the same.

XXXXXXXX

The following morning, Sirius rose quietly, pulled out a pair of track shorts, a t-shirt, socks and his trainers and padded into the bathroom. Moments later, he emerged dressed and made his way downstairs and outside to the beach. Taking the time to stretch his muscles, Sirius also used the interval to clear his mind of the previous evening. It had upset him more than he'd imagined it could – and he'd imagined that his first meeting with James would be pretty bad. He wanted to just run this morning and not use the time to try to resolve what was quickly proving to be something that couldn't be fixed. Feeling his emotions begin to rise again, Sirius finished stretching and headed out to the bicycle path to begin his run.

Upstairs, James had awakened when Sirius had gone into their shared bathroom but had feigned sleep until he'd heard the other boy leave the room. When James heard Sirius' footsteps in the hallway floor, he'd risen and gone over to the window. After what seemed like ages, Sirius' form appeared, beginning a slow jog on the bicycle path next to the beach. James watched until Sirius was nothing more than a small dot and then he turned to his dresser, pulling out his own clothing and heading to the bathroom to shower.

I hope this works, he thought, closing the door behind him.

An hour later, Sirius was drawing closer to Peacehaven when he saw someone standing on a tall, flat-topped rock that gave the appearance of having been randomly dropped in the middle of the beach. As he closed the distance between them, Sirius felt his heart jump as he realized that the person standing and watching him was none other than James. I'm not ready for a replay of last night, he said to himself, even as he left the path and walked over to the rock.

"I brought breakfast," James said in an oddly constricted voice.

Sirius shaded his eyes against the sun and looked up, face clearly registering his surprise.

"Well, it's juice and fruit and rolls, but I suppose it counts as breakfast, anyway," he amended. "Mum put a cooling charm on the juice, so if you're thirsty …" Ok, so maybe this isn't going to work. He's just standing there.

"How did you get up there?" Sirius was asking him, looking at the near side of the rock appraisingly.

"'Round the back side," James replied. "It's got a few wonky-looking crags I used for steps."

Sirius walked around to the side of the rock James had indicated and climbed to the top. Once there, he saw that James had laid out a rather clumsy arrangement of plates, cups, a juice pitcher and the food. He sat down cross-legged next to the juice and waited to see what James would do. Sirius felt an odd happiness when the other wizard sat down a short distance away from him.

"Help yourself," James said, handing Sirius a plastic cup.

Sirius poured juice into it and handed the full cup to James before reaching for another and filling it for himself. He looked at his cup and then over at James. "Why do I have the urge to ask you to go first?" One corner of his mouth turned up slightly.

"Can't think. I haven't really had the time to brew anything that would be half effective, after all," James replied but lifted his own cup and drank half the contents in one gulp as a show of good faith.

Sirius took a healthy swallow of the fruity juice as well then looked at James. "What's going on, James? I got the impression last night that our friendship was pretty much over."

James looked his friend straight in the eye and nodded. "I know." He took a deep breath and looked out over the water, gathering his thoughts before he spoke again. "Look, after you left I stayed outside and I could not stop thinking about what you'd said. It just felt like I'd been so angry with you for so long that I didn't know how not to feel that way anymore. When you said I'd closed the door on you and shut you out, I … I don't know; it made me madder at first. I kept thinking that you were the one who'd shut me out – shut us out and then I thought about that bit you said at the end. Remember? How it hurt that I couldn't make up my mind about you without thinking about how the decision would affect my friendship with Remus. I had to work harder to stay as mad." He stopped and looked once again at Sirius.

The other boy was sitting as still as the rock they occupied, his gaze fixed firmly out to sea, as well - his face pale and his expression unreadable.

"After awhile, Dad came out to see why I was still up," James continued, stopping when he heard Sirius' sharp intake of breath.

"I can just imagine what he thinks of me," he said, his voice tight.

"Actually, he reminded me of a few things I'd let myself forget. Like the fact that you do tend to act before you think things through, which helped to make sense of things. And he helped me realize that you'd never hurt Remus – or any of us – intentionally. That you'd step in front of any one of us and take a curse or a hex in our place. That you and I have been more brothers than friends so that it would always be worse when one of us did something huge and stupid – like this. That sometimes it doesn't matter why huge and stupid happens, it just matters that we figure out why it didn't happen. I know you didn't tell Snape about getting to Remus because your goal was to hurt Remus – or to endanger Pete or me or, probably, even Snape. Once I figured that out, Dad told me that I would know whether we could be friends again. He was right, no surprise there. Sirius, I hate what happened that night, but I hate what it did to all of us even more. I hate that we're not mates, that you moved out of the dorm and that you wouldn't talk to any of us – well, that you wouldn't talk to me. I hate that you went to Kate's instead of coming to my house when you left home, and even though I know why you didn't, it doesn't make me hate it any less." James felt himself start to choke up but he knew he had to finish or he wouldn't say the most important part. "I'm sorry, Padfoot. You're my brother and I want things fixed. Please want things fixed, too."

Now finished, James dared to look over at his friend and he was momentarily startled at the sight that met his eyes. Sirius sat, head down, hands covering his face. It wasn't that he was crying that stunned James, for that was not an entirely accurate description. From the shake of his shoulders and the great gasping breaths that were coming from behind his hands, James knew that he was witnessing a level of emotion that he had never seen before. He rose from his position, ignoring the pins and needles that shot down his legs and crossed the short distance to where the other wizard sat. Lowering himself gently, James reached over and pulled Sirius into a hug, letting him cry but this time, not letting him do so alone. James sat, awkwardly patting Sirius' back until the sobs lessened and finally, other than an occasional hiccup, the boy was still.

Neither knew how long they sat, but finally Sirius spoke. "I want things fixed, Jamie." His voice sounded congested and raw. He pulled back and looked at James, his breath hitching slightly. "I want you to let me show you I can be trusted again; that I won't screw up like this again. I want my brother back."

James nodded and swiped at his nose with the back of his hand. "I trust you, Sirius. I'm not going to hold every stupid thing you do up against the prank and wonder if you're going to do something like that again. This is over now – well, for us."

"It's more than I hoped would happen, Prongs. I have to deal with Remus when we get back to school; I know that. But if we're ok again, I think I can face him when the time comes," Sirius said, scrubbing at his own face with the hem of his shirt. He looked back at James thoughtfully. "What will happen, Jamie, if Remus doesn't want to patch things up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know; what happens to our friendship?" Sirius still remembered what James had said about Remus' reaction.

"Padfoot, if Remus decides to stay away from you, then you'll have one less brother, one less friend. One. If Remus remains my friend, then I'll be happy. If he decides he can't be friends with me because we're friends, I'll be unhappy, but it doesn't mean anything changes between us."

Sirius nodded. "Thanks, Jamie."

"Just one thing, Padfoot."

"Yeah?" Sirius' head snapped up and he looked at his friend a bit apprehensively.

James mentally shook his head when he saw Sirius' reaction. "You got snot all over my new shirt." His voice was dismal as he looked down at his wet and crumpled shirtfront. "You'd better come up with a good explanation if my mother asks what happened. I don't want to be called a 'girl' in front of Lily!"

Sirius smiled and stopped packing up 'breakfast', looking back up at his friend as he spoke. "Sorry, Jamie. Maybe we can just tell her that you did it. You got all sensitive and didn't have a handkerchief with you so you used what you had."

"Cheeky bastard." James stuffed the oranges and apples into the beach bag next to the pitcher and cups.

"Daft git." Sirius put the breakfast rolls on top of the bag. He was surprised a moment later when James grabbed his arm and spun him around.

"Nice to have you back," he said giving Sirius a very quick one-armed hug.

"Keep molesting me, Prongs and I'll have to tell Lily you're cheating on her," Sirius said through a throat that had begun to grow just a bit tight again. He descended the craggy rock and jumped the last short distance to the shingles below. When James landed next to him, Sirius gestured toward the bike path. "Let's walk over there; the footing's a bit easier."

As they walked, James looked over at his friend. "So, you're out of Grimmauld Place for good, now?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. I'm never going back there again. Never."

"Did she beat you again?" James felt his hackles rise thinking of the condition his best friend was found in at Christmas.

"No. She used the Cruciatus on me." Sirius' voice was quiet. "My father had her put in some fancy special hospital in France to see if they can straighten her out."

"Merlin! Does he think they can?" James was surprised to hear that Sirius' father had done anything about the situation with his wife.

"Who knows?" Sirius shrugged. "I don't care what they do to her. She's never going to get her claws into me again, that much I can guarantee you. Listen, we can talk more about all of that another time, ok? I've had enough dark and dreary conversations for awhile." James nodded and slid to the side to bump against Sirius before taking his own side of the path back again.

The boys walked silently for a while before James spoke again. "You gonna move back into the dorm when we go back in September?"

"Sort of depends on what happens with Remus, doesn't it? I don't want to make him miserable, Jamie. Despite everything you and I talked about, I am guilty of letting Snape in on Remus' secret. I did betray him that way. If he wants me out, it seems the least I can do to accommodate him," Sirius said honestly.

"I'm thinking that the majority should rule, mate. If you want to be there and Peter and I want you there, then it's 3 to 1 in favor of you staying, isn't it?" James reasoned, knowing full well that the situation was far more complicated than that.

"I don't think things will be that easy, Prongs," Sirius said. "But let's not waste the holiday worrying about it, yeah? I've spent the past two months being miserable over one thing or another. Then, I went back to Grimmauld and things went downhill from there. I'd like two weeks where I don't have to worry about anything. Deal?"

"Deal," James nodded. He looked up, somewhat surprised to see the beach house as close as it was. "Padfoot, we've got an audience."

Sirius looked over at James then followed his gaze up to the deck. He chuckled when he saw Kate, Lily and James' mother standing at the railing, watching the two young men approach.

Sirius put his head down so the women on the deck could not see his expression. "I say we toss the beach bag, drop to the sand and start punching the shit out of each other; you know – really give 'em a show. Your thoughts, Prongs?"

James similarly hid his face and huffed a laugh at the suggestion. "Seems the decent thing to do; they've all worked so hard to get us to work things out. Could backfire, though, if one of us got any decent punches in. Tough to look good at the beach with teeth missing."

"Good point," Sirius concurred as they reached the steps leading to the deck. "I know – let's just go on with the day and not tell them a thing. It'll drive Kate and Lily 'round the twist, which should provide some entertainment – at least 'til they start slapping us. Good job that they can't do magic, isn't it?"

James smiled. "What about Mum?"

Sirius' face softened. "Her, we tell. And while we're about it, I'd like a word with your Dad, too."

James nodded. "Good plan." He punched Sirius' arm lightly, adding, "Welcome back, Padfoot."

Sirius punched him back. "Good to be back, Prongs. Thanks."

They walked up the wooden stairs to the deck, nodded to the women who had now turned toward the top of the steps and, without a word, walked into the house, chuckling as the doors slid closed on the surprised cries of the three witches behind them.