Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warning: Some language
Chapter 68 – Dark History and Dark Creatures
The students settled into the routine of a new school term and the familiar rhythm of classes, homework and time with friends well missed over the holiday.
The addition of Alphard Black as the new DADA professor was well received by all Houses save one – Slytherin. Their reaction was predictable; defending against something embraced by so many prominent Pureblood families represented in that House was bound to create conflict. The current climate – with its rumblings of a new and powerful Dark Wizard – had clearly given a new swagger to certain of Slytherin's members. That said, however, students of all Houses had to admit – however grudgingly, in some cases – that Professor Black was an experienced and effective teacher. His family history gave him historical perspective of the wrong side of the Dark Arts; his side-by-side battles with Dumbledore against Grindlewald gave him practical experience. Some students found his war-time experience exhilarating and, as a result, there was a growing tendency to romanticize battle lore.
Alphard had begun his first class – with Gryffindor and Slytherin 6th years – by offering a short synopsis of his background. As he moved quickly through his experiences with the defeat of Grindlewald, it became apparent that some of his students wanted more detail.
"It's well known that Grindlewald gathered the vampires over to his side," Rabastan LeStrange's laconic drawl interrupted Alphard's narrative. "Are they included in the Dark Creatures you claim to have fought in that war?"
Alphard continued to smile benignly at the class. "There were many rumors about Grindlewald – and his supposed army – in those days. While he almost certainly convinced many nefarious characters to join him, I don't know that there was ever an exact accounting of them." Alphard turned away from LeStrange and made to walk back to the lectern at the front of the classroom. The Slytherin wizard would not be deterred, however.
"But the history books list Dark Creatures enlisted by Grindlewald," he persisted, keeping his eyes glued to Alphard's back. "You can't refute that fact. What I want to hear about is how you and Dumbledore managed to deal with them; or perhaps your role in the last great war wasn't as large as you'd have us believe. Maybe Dumbledore was desperate to fill this position and he had to settle…"
Seated across the aisle with his friends, Sirius began to seethe. The prickle of annoyance that had begun with LeStrange's first inhalation had blossomed. Sirius shifted in his seat, turning his head to glare over at his Slytherin counterparts. He found himself looking into the steel blue eyes of Lucius Malfoy who arched one eyebrow as if daring him to rise to the other wizard's bait. There was a sudden light pressure on his arm and Sirius tore his gaze away from Malfoy and found himself looking into a pair of chocolate brown eyes.
"Don't," Kate whispered, giving his arm a light squeeze. "He's not worth it."
Sirius nodded shortly and returned his gaze to his Uncle.
"Git", he heard James mutter behind him and was gratified to recognize his own irritation mirrored in his friend's tone. Sirius relaxed his shoulders and exhaled slowly.
"Better?" came Kate's whispered voice.
Sirius covered her hand where it still rested on his arm.
"Mr. … LeStrange, isn't it?" Alphard had turned and was walking slowly down the aisle, stopping in front of Rabastan's desk. The haughty wizard nodded once.
"I suspect that Headmaster Dumbledore engaged me in this position because he believes me to be a good educator. In my professional opinion, I believe there is a distinct difference between 'history books' and the rather sensationalized accounts of events written by those who were not present when those events occurred. Indeed, some of these rather embellished versions have come down through families as an oral history, of sorts. That may explain your confusion in these matters." Rabastan had been balancing on the back legs of his chair but as Alphard finished speaking he leaned forward sharply, the front of the chair hitting the stone floor with a loud bang. The angry wizard took a breath to speak, but Alphard was too quick for him.
"Take care, Mr. LeStrange," the older wizard intoned. "Grave injury can occur when we take foolish risks without regard for the consequences." LeStrange opened – then closed – his mouth, but said nothing.
"True history books detail truth and when it comes to Dark Magic and Dark Wizards, the truth requires no embellishment; it is compelling in its simplicity. It is also an excellent teacher." Alphard paused and his eyes swept over the faces before him. "It does not matter which, if any, Dark Creatures might have been in league with Grindlewald. What does matter is that Grindlewald was willing and able to recruit any of them." The older wizard closed his eyes briefly, considering carefully what he wanted to say. When he next began to speak, his voice was like steel, albeit very quiet.
"Those who embrace the practice of Dark Arts – or Dark Magic – for dark purposes and for power present unimaginable risk to our world. These Dark Wizards have spurred periodic uprisings throughout the ages. They start small: planting seeds of discourse here, amongst those who already feel downtrodden; promising a uniform return to old traditions there to the oldest families who fear that we've strayed too far from them. Slowly, subtly, these Dark Wizards convince more and more people that they have the perfect vision of the perfect world and that they – and only they – could possibly lead that new world. Lured by lies and seduced by false promises, these followers gather more followers and soon they become an army. But this army is comprised of individuals who are easily led, whose insecurities, doubts and vanities have blinded them to reality. The reality is that one Dark Wizard, lusting for power and control, will these supporters to help destroy our world – and to create one where their lots will not improve – if they even live to see it."
The classroom was silent. Hostility rolled off the Slytherin students in waves. Their Gryffindor counterparts – especially the Marauders, who had been exposed to so much information over the holiday – recognized the hidden meaning behind Alphard's words and their respect for him grew.
"The lesson that history teaches us is that we must recognize – and stop – any potential Grindlewald in our world before they become threats – and we must do so absolutely and without regard for cost. To fail is to lose everything."
"How are we to do that, Sir?" Frank Longbottom spoke up. "We're only students."
Alphard smiled. "An excellent question, Mr. Longbottom! As students, you have an enormous potential to stop these monsters." There was an indignant sound from the other side of the room. "That's right, I said 'monsters'. Do not mistreat any of your peers. Respect each other and give no one reason to seek empty promises of power from unscrupulous wizards who act only on their own behalf, with no regard for any of you. Take responsibility for our world into your own capable hands. Protect it. Defend it." Alphard paused, again looking around at every face in the room before finishing, "And that, ladies and gentlemen, begins right here – in this classroom."
The silence of the class was broken by the buzz of voices as students flooded the hallways, classes finished for the day.
"Before we adjourn," Alphard raised his voice to gain the attention of his class, many of whom were gathering textbooks and parchment to load into book bags. They looked up expectantly. "Before we adjourn, I would like each of you to prepare an essay on Grindlewald's rise to power – and opportunities that were missed to thwart that rise. Two feet of parchment should do it, I think. I will look forward to seeing you all again on Friday afternoon when I shall collect them from you. I wish you all a good evening; off you go!"
The Slytherins wasted no time in beating a hasty retreat from the classroom.
Sirius' irritation was barely contained as he packed book, parchment and quill into his bag. "Wankers – the whole lot of them," he fumed, tugging the zipper of his bag with enough force to dislodge it from its tracks. "That bastard LeStrange; he should take care Uncle Alphard doesn't decide to show him how he and Dumbledore took care of Grindlewald…and anyone else who might have fought on his side!"
"Calm down, Padfoot," Remus said as he put his own book bag down on the desk. "Here, let me see that." The Marauder gently extricated Sirius' bag from the other boy's grip. Taking his wand from his pocket, Remus touched the now mangled zipper and said, "Reparo." Immediately, the metal teeth realigned themselves within the pull; Remus grinned as he tested his handiwork and handed the bag back to Sirius. "There. Please try not to undo my good work, wont' you?"
"Show off," Sirius replied, but his voice bore less of its previous irritation.
"I think your uncle handled the situation rather well," James put in. "I believe the snakes got the point, don't you?"
"There's no point in antagonizing them, James," Peter spoke up. "It's not like it's going to change anything."
James raised his eyebrows at his friend. "Antagonizing them? Antagoniz- Peter, what are you on about? Did you nod off during class? Because, in case you missed it, Rabastan LeStrange was the one doing the 'antagonizing'."
"I'm just saying that it's not like LeStrange said anything all that peculiar given what your uncle had said," Peter looked around at the group. "Your uncle was talking about the war against Grindlewald. Rabastan asked a question about the types of dark creatures that fought with him. This is a Defense Against the Dark Arts class, James. From where I sat, it seemed a logical question to ask."
"And was suggesting Dumbledore had no better candidate to teach this class and was forced to hire my uncle a logical thing to say – from where you sat?" Sirius shrugged his bag from his shoulder, letting it drop to the desk he had so recently vacated. Blue eyes glittering with anger, he took a half-step toward the other boy.
Peter backed up until a desk in the next row impeded further retreat. There was apprehension in his tone, but Peter thrust out his chin when he spoke. "No, as a matter of fact, I didn't particularly think your uncle deserved that comment – any more than I think I deserve yours." The smaller boy's voice got a bit smaller as he finished, but he held his ground where he stood.
The group stood gaping at their friend for a moment before Remus cleared his throat and moved over to where Peter was standing. "You're absolutely right, Pete," he said, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "There's nothing to be gained from us leaping at each other's throats. After all, it seems that everything that's going wrong in our world at the moment is happening because people aren't even trying to reason with each other. Sirius is understandably upset because he feels that his uncle was treated disrespectfully; you felt the exchange was a natural one, given the topic. Perhaps LeStrange's tone could have been different and perhaps the professor could have avoided using certain words that would be bound to set the Slytherins off."
"Moony-," Sirius' voice carried a hint of warning.
Remus shook his head, a sad smile flitting across his face as he did so. "Sorry, Sirius, but I have a bit of experience with the word "monster" and I can say with certainty that it will rile people up." He leaned back to look at Peter's face, which was slightly less defiant than it had been a few moments before. "Alright, Peter?"
Peter looked at the young werewolf and nodded slowly before bringing his attention back to Sirius. The other wizard met his gaze. Neither spoke for what felt like an eternity. Finally, just before Remus thought he would need to step in again, Sirius broke the silence.
"Look, Peter, Alphard Black and my brother, Regulus, are the only blood family I have. You know what's going on outside these walls right now; Merlin knows we've spent enough time talking about it over the past week. Most of those who are fanatics about the Dark – and are probably trailing after this new Dark Wizard that's rumored to be out there – are housed in Slytherin. James, Remus and I saw enough of their antics while we were in Brighton. Don't expect me to take it lightly when one of them goes up against me or mine. For the record, "mine" also includes my friends – all of you. You're all I have; I aim to do whatever I need to do to make sure I don't lose anyone." He paused and inhaled deeply. When Sirius spoke again, a trace of a smile graced his features. "Sometimes, I guess that will make me …"
"Over react?" Kate supplied, slipping her hand into his to soften her comment.
Sirius squeezed her fingers gently. "Yes; I suppose 'over react' is the right description."
Peter stepped forward, causing Remus' hand to drop from his shoulder. "We had enough trouble between Gryffindor and Slytherin last term. Aren't we supposed to at least try not to cause any more of it? Isn't that what Dumbledore had in mind?"
Kate smiled. "Good for you, Peter; very sensible. And as far as the questions asked in class, I happen to agree with you: defeating vampires seems to me to be a valid topic for this particular class."
Sirius stiffened a bit next to her, but Kate went on. "I also think that LeStrange was unnecessarily snide in his comments, but that's rather to be expected from him based on previous experience. I think that we all should focus on not looking for trouble – and just well, carry on, I suppose. It's difficult to fight if you've no one to fight with, after all."
Peter had gone quite red as Kate spoke and he fidgeted slightly where he stood.
Sirius sighed. "I hate it when you're right. If things keep on as they are now, I suppose we'll all have more trouble than we ever wanted. As long as we stick together, it should be alright." He walked up to Peter and stuck out his hand. "Ok, Wormtail?"
There was only the slightest of hesitations before Peter clasped Sirius' hand and, finally, his features relaxed. "Ok, Padfoot," he replied, smiling.
"Good," Lily said. "Now that we've finally got that nonsense sorted, why don't we start on that essay?"
A chorus of groans greeted her comment and James grabbed the redhead's elbow and propelled her forward, toward the door. "We've got an hour off before dinner and then there will be the whole evening to take care of homework. Besides, this essay isn't due until Friday – and that's days away! Come on - the sun's shining and I say that we head out onto the grounds and enjoy the weather while it's still warm. Who's with me?…besides Lils, of course!"
The group agreed wholeheartedly with James' proclamation and although Lily insisted that they all bring their books out with them, she was forced to admit that as the cold weather would arrive before they knew it, they should take advantage of the warmth while they could. They exited the classroom with James and Lily leading the way and the others falling in behind them.
Once outside, Peter engaged Lily in conversation about a potion assignment Professor Slughorn had given them earlier that afternoon. Remus found himself watching the boy, unable to shake the feeling of disquiet that had settled over him after the disagreement between his two friends. Thoughtful and analytical by nature, it troubled Remus that he could not identify the exact cause of that disquiet. As the group settled themselves on the grass that sloped down toward the Black Lake, Sirius dropped down beside the werewolf.
"What's got you looking so ponderous?" The dark haired wizard chuckled when Remus jumped slightly at the sound of his friend's voice.
Remus considered whether or not he should mention his concern but was spared the decision when Sirius spoke again. "Something to do with Peter, isn't it?"
"Why do you say that?" Remus' eyes widened in surprise.
"You've been staring a hole through his back since we left the classroom," came the reply.
Remus huffed out a laugh. "Hmm; that obvious, eh?" At Sirius' nod, he continued. "It isn't much like Peter to disagree with anything you or James has to say, is it?"
Sirius looked over the rest of their group, sitting a bit closer to the water's edge. His gaze settling on Peter, the young wizard watched him for a few minutes before answering. "Not out loud, at any rate. Yeah, I reckon it is a bit unlike him. He generally just shuts up and goes along with us, doesn't he?"
Remus nodded. "Can't quite figure out why it's bothering me."
Sirius looked over at his friend. "Dunno. Maybe after being cooped up with his mum all summer and not being able to come with us, Peter found his voice."
"Maybe."
Sirius leaned over and slapped Remus on the leg. "Come on, mate! We didn't risk the wrath of Lily to sit outside and wonder at the many odd behaviors of one Peter Pettigrew, did we?" He rose to his feet then extended a hand to help Remus do the same. "Let's join the others. You're just about the only person who can rein Lily in if she starts lecturing us about how little time we truly have until NEWTs are held!"
Remus relented. "All right, Pads!" He took the hand before him and allowed Sirius to pull him to his feet. "If you put it that way…"
As they walked the short distance to the edge of the lake, Sirius thought of what he'd originally come to ask his friend.
"Where's Dorcas? She wasn't in class today, was she?"
Remus chuckled. "Apparently, she was the inadvertent recipient of a spell cast by a very inexpert second year."
Sirius stopped short. "What was Dorcas doing with a bunch of second years?"
"She's a Prefect, isn't she? Last night, she came upon two second year Hufflepuffs, just outside their common room."
"Forgot their password, had they?" Sirius chortled.
"Do you want to hear or not?" Remus asked, rolling his eyes at his friend's subsequently wide-eyed and innocent expression. "Apparently, one was showing the other what he thought was the grooming spell to trim hair."
"But it wasn't?"
Remus closed his eyes and shook his head.
"What happened? Lose her hair?" Sirius began to snicker.
"Not at all," Remus said, voice quivering with ill-suppressed mirth. "She has a lovely set of whiskers to match!"
The two wizards dissolved in laughter, hanging onto each other to remain upright. Other small groups of students nearby raised their heads at the clamor but, seeing who was involved, they went back to their own conversations. Finally, the two friends recovered themselves sufficiently to speak.
"How long before they're gone?" Sirius wanted to know, wiping his eyes on his robes as he waited for his friend to answer.
"She'll be fine by dinner," Remus answered. "The boy couldn't quite remember what he'd said, so Madam Pomfrey decided to use a potion to put her right instead of experimenting using what he thought he might have cast."
"Thank Merlin!" Sirius said as the two resumed their walk. "You two would have caused quite a stir in Hogsmeade next month if it hadn't been simple to fix!" He barked out a laugh. "I mean, how embarrassing for you if your girlfriend managed to grow a moustache before you did!"
Remus sobered and he said nothing.
"What?" Sirius demanded. "You're not that sensitive, are you? I mean, it was two years ago that you tried it, after all. You couldn't help it that you only managed a couple of dozen whiskers…" He paused, realizing that Remus had remained silent. "Oh, Moony – don't tell me that we're still debating that old chestnut." He lowered his voice. "For an intelligent wizard, you've certainly got this one wrong, mate!"
Remus' face assumed the closed expression Sirius hated. "There's nothing to debate, Sirius. We've had this conversation before; I don't want to have it again. Here," he gestured to the others, who were watching them curiously. "Let's drop it. It's a pointless discussion."
Sirius laid a hand on his friend's arm. "I'll 'drop it' for now, Moony – but not forever. She's a nice girl – bright, funny, with your love of books and deep discussions; she's perfect for you. Why don't we do this? I'll agree to stop calling her your girlfriend if you'll agree to just let things go along with her for now. After all, it's not like you're planning the rest of your life, are you? Just … just be for now. Go along together like always. Let the future go for now. All right?"
Remus knew that this particular matter was far from being "all right", as Sirius said. He also knew that Sirius would have none of Remus' argument against ever having the kind of relationships both he and James had found. The young werewolf thought back to the events in their last class and the conversations that had followed. There will be enough trouble for all of us soon enough; we'll all face difficult decisions that we don't want to make. Maybe it did make sense not to waste time on those decisions today. He tried to shrug off the small voice nattering at him in the back of his mind, telling him that he was just prolonging the inevitable. Remus looked back at Sirius and smiled.
"For now."
Dorcas was fully recovered and, as previously predicted, joined them all at dinner that evening. As her fellow Gryffindors had long since discovered, the reserved young witch had a wicked sense of humor and was able to laugh along with her friends as they teased her about her "temporary affliction".
"Thank heavens it was temporary," she chuckled as they tucked into chocolate silk pudding. "I've no desire to resemble my great aunt Mildred that closely!"
Peter blinked at her. "Your aunt has whiskers?"
Dorcas laughed. "Well, in a manner of speaking. When she got a bit along in years, they sort of …arrived. Poor thing! Quite alarming, I should imagine. She used all sorts of creams and such, but they just kept coming back."
"Why didn't she just magick them off?" Peter wanted to know.
"Oh, well, she couldn't, you see," Dorcas explained. "She was a Muggle." She winked at the open-mouthed expression on Peter's face. "I'm sure she would have enjoyed knowing Madam Pomfrey; it would have saved her a lot of money, I can tell you!"
The others chuckled and all soon returned to their pudding.
"I understand that your uncle is the new DADA teacher, Sirius," Dorcas said, resting her spoon in her now empty cup and gratefully accepting a cup of coffee from Remus.
"Great uncle, actually, but yes, you've got the rest of it right," Sirius answered, watching Remus with a small smile. You've got it bad, Moony; best to just accept it and move forward.
"I overheard some of the girls chatting about him in the common room earlier. It sounds as if he's got lots of practical experience. It should be a good class," she said.
"Alright, you lot; we've home work to finish. I'm off," Lily stood, looking expectantly over the group still seated at the table. "Well?"
Sirius leaned over toward James. "I believe that's to you, mate. Best be running along before things turn ugly." He laughed aloud at the swat James sent to his shoulder as the latter rose and made his way round the end of the table to where Lily stood.
"You needn't look so amused," Kate admonished him, tugging on the sleeve of his robes. "You've got all the same assignments that we do and I don't believe you've done a lick of work since classes ended."
Sirius sighed as James whooped a laugh. "Better hurry, Pads…..before things turn ugly!"
The quartet made their way toward the doors, the sound of the boys' half-hearted protests growing fainter with their progress. It wasn't long before Peter mumbled an excuse about needing to speak with someone about an assignment, leaving Remus and Dorcas alone at their end of the Gryffindor dining table.
"I would say that this was quite an eventful first day of term, wouldn't you?" Dorcas asked, smiling at the wizard next to her.
"Indeed," he agreed, smiling in return.
"Any truth to the rumor of a bit of an incident in the DADA class this afternoon?"
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Prefect informants?"
Dorcas' merry laughter rang out. "Remus, the Prefects are informants!" She reached over and patted his hand. "No, actually; Lily told me when she came to the hospital wing to check on me before dinner. Quite the impromptu lecture Professor Black gave, wasn't it?"
Remus nodded. "Rather a fair warning of history repeating itself, I'd say."
"Is that why Professor Dumbledore brought Sirius' uncle here to teach? His war experiences would give him a unique insight into teaching Defense?"
"I expect that's at least part of the reason," Remus replied. He glanced around the Great Hall, making note of the fact that most of the 6th year Slytherins had their heads together at their own table. He leaned toward Dorcas. "Listen, where do you stand with your assignments?"
"I won't get them until tomorrow because of the…" she smiled and gestured toward her face. "Madam Pomfrey had me excused from patrol tonight – just in case there was some unforeseen delay in my recovery. Why?"
Remus hesitated for just a moment. He had made the decision to do this over the summer and was firm in his resolve to see it through. Despite his conviction that he was doing the right thing, he felt a combination of sadness at the outcome and guilt that he was knowingly manipulating it. Pushing that - and the memory of his conversation with Sirius – to the back of his mind, Remus forced a smile. "I have something I wanted to talk with you about."
As they entered into the Room of Requirement, Remus found himself thinking of the many hours he had spent within these walls. Well, he thought, not exactly these walls, I suppose. As comfortably appointed as the room had previously presented itself, tonight's appearance was, by contrast, sparse. The large fireplace on one side of the room blazed brightly and Remus realized that the room had recognized and prepared for the deep chill that had settled over him. Two chairs were placed directly before the fire, facing one another. Between them, and to one side, stood a plain wooden table on which rested a pitcher of water and two goblets. The room was otherwise empty.
Dorcas shivered a bit and Remus guided her over to the fire. Immediately feeling the warmth that emanated from the hearth, the young witch gestured toward the seating area. "It would appear that we're meant to sit down," she observed with a shaky smile. "Although I'll admit that I'm a bit apprehensive of doing so."
Remus shook his head lightly and gestured to the nearer of the two chairs. "Please," he said simply then walked round the small table and sat in the second.
"Dorcas, you know that I like you very much," Remus began, hands lacing and unlacing in his lap as he leaned toward her.
"Oh, Remus," Dorcas' soft voice betrayed her sadness. "You've brought me here to … break up with me?"
Remus closed his eyes to gather his thoughts. A whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa," made him open them to see Dorcas' chair settling quite close to his. As she resumed her seat, Remus could see that the sadness in her voice was replicated in her eyes.
"It's not you," he began then stopped himself. "Well, it is you, actually. I don't want anything to happen to you; don't want to put you in any danger. I can't guarantee your safety if we … well, let's just leave it at that."
Dorcas shook her head. "Let's not." She leaned forward and stilled his hands. "I've been waiting for this, you see. I thought you'd have broken things off quite some time ago and when it didn't come, I thought that perhaps you'd changed your mind. I should have realized that you never would. I should have realized that we would need to have this conversation." She continued to hold his hands and her eyes never broke contact with his. "I am not afraid of you. I could never be afraid of you, Remus."
Remus sat as if frozen to the spot. "I don't know what you …"
"Yes, you do," she said quietly. "Obviously, you're going to make me say it – and that's fine. I'm not afraid of the words, either."
Stop speaking. Stop speaking. STOP. SPEAKING. The words crashed through Remus' head as he stared at the girl sitting opposite him, the girl holding his hands in such a gentle grasp, the girl looking at him with such honesty that he could barely stand it. But he knew that he could no more stop the words that were coming from her lips than he could silence his own thoughts. He closed his eyes again.
"I know about the wolf."
Five words – words he had been terrified he would hear throughout his childhood. Five words that, until last year, had heralded the ending of friendships, relationships. Five words uttered so simply, but which raised such complex questions.
The feeling of something wet on his hand made Remus open his eyes. Dorcas had poured him a cup of water and was pressing it into his fingers. "Here," she said in that impossibly calm way she had. "Drink this and then we can talk."
Remus wasn't certain how he did so, but he managed to drain the goblet without spilling its contents down the front of himself. He leaned over and placed it on the table.
"How?"
"My cousin was bitten seven years ago – in Wales," Dorcas explained. "He's my favorite cousin – my mother's only brother's child. We are the same age and have always been close. We lived very near each other and played together as children. When we were 10, my uncle and aunt came to our house and said they were leaving. They had purchased a farm in a very remote section of Queensland and were moving straight away. Of course, I was devastated to lose my best friend; I had a bit of a melt down when my parents told me. When I asked them why, my mother said that Joshua had been bitten by a wild animal and it had made him very ill. He was going away so no one else could 'catch it'. I remember asking if the Healers would make him well while he was gone, so that he could return to our village. My mother started to cry and my father pulled me into his lap and said that they couldn't make Josh well." Dorcas had started to cry very softly, but accepted Remus' handkerchief with a rather watery smile. When she had composed herself a bit, she took up her story again.
"Josh and I wrote letters back and forth to each other, but I missed him very much. My parents spoke with my uncle and they agreed that I could come and visit them the summer that I received my Hogwarts letter. My father couldn't take time from work to accompany us and my mother didn't want to leave him to fend for himself, so I traveled alone. So exciting at 11, you know; I felt so important and grown-up. When I arrived, I was shocked to see how far away from everyone Josh and his family had moved. I know," she saw the look of sadness cross Remus' face. "You understand completely. Oddly, so did I. I think I always suspected what kind of 'animal' had bitten him. He looked the same to me – perhaps a bit thinner." For the first time Dorcas was self-conscious. "I've never seen his scars, but he told me that he had them – told me what the wolf could do; what it had done." She took a moment to collect herself. "After that conversation, things went right back to the way they had always been. When the moon turned full, I was, of course, not allowed to stay with him. I knew what was going to happen based on what Josh had told me. I saw him tire in the days leading up to the full; I saw his temper become shorter, the circles around his eyes grow dark and more pronounced. I sat up in my room, watching the moon – all night long – as it traveled across the sky. I hated it; hated its power and what it had done to the boy I loved so much. In the morning, my aunt tended to him but said I couldn't see him until the next day." She looked up at Remus and smiled dryly. "You can imagine how well I took that particular piece of news. I snuck right into his room, I did! I waited what I thought was a decent interval – then just before dinner, I went to visit. Josh thought I would be afraid of him, but I wasn't – I'm not. I stayed for the whole summer – and I've gone back every summer since. I'm not afraid of Josh," Dorcas said again. "Any more than I'm afraid of you – or your wolf. You may both be technically defined as Dark Creatures, but I've never met people who are less so than you." Dorcas stopped again, reaching for the pitcher to relieve her dry throat. Remus was too quick for her and soon was handing her a goblet of icy water as she had done for him.
She drained the cup and handed it back to Remus with a smile. "Thank you. Remus, I have recognized the same signs in you – and the same cycle – two years ago. I never said anything to you because it was none of my business. It's no one else's business, either – and I neither have nor would tell anyone else about this. I have grown to care for you and thought that you felt the same way about me. All I could hope for was that you'd trust me enough to tell me yourself one day. And now, you have…and I'm very afraid that if I stop talking, you're going to say something that I really do not want to hear." The need to breathe, however, was too great and Dorcas was forced to stop speaking.
As she had spoken, Remus had remained quiet, every ounce of his focus on the young woman before him. While stunned by the story she had told him, Remus knew that every word of it was true; it was not in Dorcas' nature to lie – that he knew. That the story was remarkable was an understatement. His initial panic when she confessed that she'd realized the truth of his condition two years ago was mitigated by the reason she had done so. He felt his anxiety lessen as he realized that his condition was not completely transparent to all. His symptoms were recognizable to her only because she was very much familiar with them. Remus' relief was short lived. While his fear that Dorcas would be repulsed by his curse was no longer valid, the fact that he posed a danger to her remained. How could their relationship continue, despite how much he wanted it to, if he could ultimately cause her such horrific harm?
"Say something," Dorcas was saying, and Remus was brought back to the present.
"I don't know what to say," he admitted. "I never expected to hear that you – that your cousin …"
"That I already had a wolf in my life?" Dorcas smiled when Remus' lips twitched in an attempt not to laugh. "What are you thinking?"
Remus shook his head. "I'm dangerous," he said. "I could hurt you."
"No more than the other students in the school. While I don't know the particulars, I can't imagine that Dumbledore hasn't made arrangements to protect you as well as those of us who live here," Dorcas reasoned.
"He has. But…"
"Remus, listen to me," Dorcas leaned forward, hands clasped in front of her. "We're in school and you've said yourself that Dumbledore has made arrangements that allow you to safely stay in school. No one has been hurt – or turned – since you came here. You pose no more danger to me than you do to anyone else."
Remus bowed his head, allowing the events of the previous term to flood his mind. Someone has been hurt, he thought. I do pose a danger to everyone in this school. But as quickly as those thoughts crossed his mind, they left. He had transformed on the school grounds since the incident with Severus Snape and it was uneventful. No further incidents had occurred. Dorcas knew nothing of the Marauders' Animagus abilities and certainly nothing of the situation that had occurred last term. A new thought occurred to him and he was pleased – but unsurprised - to hear Dorcas give voice to it before he could draw breath.
"Remus, we're not talking about what happens after we graduate; we're talking about continuing on as we've been while we're here. I do care about you – very much. We go well together – or at least I think that we do. If you don't want to go on, let it be because you don't care for the way I fix my hair, or because you think I'm too forward or not smart enough for you. I can live with any of those things, but not if you break off with me because of something this important. I've seen lycanthropy in one person I care for and I've asked my questions and come to the conclusion that the person is more important than any fears I might have had – logical or illogical." She reached out and Remus took her hands in his once more. "You've said it yourself: there's so much Dark in the world, we need to stick together if we've a hope of conquering it. Shouldn't we start here – here in our own corner of things? I've conquered my fear; why can't you conquer yours?"
Remus' vision blurred as he listened to Dorcas' argument: so logical yet so moving. He blinked several times then rose, tugging her to her feet with him.
"It's not that simple," he whispered. "I've had these fears for most of my life. I can't let them go because if I do, something could go wrong. The consequences would be too terrible to contemplate."
"Well, then; perhaps you don't conquer them all at once. For now, let's work on the ones that involve us – here – and maybe the others will have worked themselves out once we get to them," she whispered back.
For a moment, they just stood there; neither student spoke or moved. Slowly, Remus drew Dorcas to him, feeling her arms reach up to encircle his neck as his went round her waist. He kissed the top of her head, then rested his cheek against the brown curls.
"For now," he said quietly, smiling.
Up in Gryffindor tower, James and Sirius were ensconced in their favorite spots, Lily and Kate curled up with them. Homework assignments for the following day were complete and filed away in book bags. Peter had returned to the common room about an hour after the others had settled in, confirming to Kate that he had gotten the information he needed about his assignment. After working beside the others for awhile, he packed up his book bag and ran out to send an owl, which he had claimed was to his mother, but which James privately suspected was intended for the young woman Peter had taken up with during the summer. He said as much to Sirius, who grinned wickedly and wondered aloud at the possibility of finding out more about "the lucky young witch". At this, both Kate and Lily loudly objected, telling both young wizards to leave the boy alone. He would tell them about the girl when and if he decided to do so – and without help or prodding from either of them. With much winking over the tops of the girls' heads, James and Sirius assured their respective girlfriends that they would abide by their wishes and leave that poor boy alone.
"Wonder if we'll get to meet the girl," James mused. "You know, get a look at the one who finally caught Peter's eye."
Sirius huffed out a laugh. "See the girl Peter finally caught, more like ... ouch!"
"Don't be mean," Kate said, dropping a kiss onto the dark head. "Or next time, I'll really give your hair a tug!" She sat up straight as she finished speaking and reached for her book bag. "I'm exhausted! Coming, Lils?"
The redhead reached up and lifted James' arm from her shoulder. Letting it drop behind her, Lily stood, deftly side-stepping James' attempt to pull her back down beside him.
"Right behind you, Kate," she said, smiling at the thwarted wizard. "See you in the morning, James."
"It's barely half nine," Sirius said, genuinely sorry to lose Kate's company, but anxious to share with James the details of his conversations with both Regulus and Alphard. By the time he'd returned to his common room, the girls had already gone up to bed and Remus was sound asleep in their own dormitory room. There had been no chance for him to talk with his friends this morning and classes had taken up the whole day.
The two girls moved toward the staircase and as she reached the bottom step, Kate turned and blew Sirius a kiss. "See you for breakfast."
"Where do you suppose Remus took himself?" Sirius asked James, stretching out on the full length of the sofa.
"Saw him leaving with Dorcas right after dinner," James replied, waggling his eyebrows up and down. "Sly dog."
Sirius rolled his eyes and was about to reply when the portrait opened and the topics of their conversation walked through.
"I'll see you in the morning, then," Dorcas said quietly then leaned up to place a small kiss on Remus' cheek.
"See you," Remus managed, blushing fiercely as from the corner of his eye, he detected a slight movement from the sofa.
Dorcas sensed his discomfort and with a sideline look at the sofa, confirmed the reason. She squeezed Remus' hand before releasing it with a smile. As she turned toward her own staircase, Dorcas waggled her fingers in the direction of the hearth then made her escape. Remus watched until she had disappeared from view.
"Alright," he said, turning toward his two friends. "You get one comment each and then we let this drop!" Remus flopped into 'his' chair and closed his eyes, waiting for his friends to begin.
Sirius glanced over at James and grinned. "Shouldn't take either of us too long to say 'I told you so', should it, Prongs?"
"Said it for both of us, you have," came the smiling response.
Remus opened his eyes. "That's it?"
"For now," James said. "At the moment, I think we've got more important matters to discuss." He turned toward Sirius and the other boy nodded.
Remus sat forward in his chair and clasped his hands in front of him. "Regulus, of course; I was wondering when we'd have the chance to hear," he replied. He looked around the room. "What about Peter and the girls?"
"Peter's off somewhere pining for his new bird," Sirius rolled his eyes. "And I figured the three of us could talk a bit before we tell the girls."
Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Before…"
"There's quite a bit to cover," Sirius interrupted.
James settled back in his seat. "Let's hear it, then."
The fire had nearly burned itself out by the time the story had been told and the discussion finished. As the tired students made their way up the stairs to bed, each lost in his own thoughts, none of them remembered that the fourth Marauder had still not returned.
