Location Unknown, 1978
She could hear a voice talking to her but sounded so far away. She tried to open her eyes, but they were heavy, and her head was still swimming in the darkness. She cracked her eyes into slits, glad that the room was dim. Her head hurt, and she was dreadfully thirsty. She had no idea where she was. She began to drift away once more.
"Aperi Oculos Tuos," a deep voice commanded
Her eyes snapped open immediately. She was sitting in a suede-covered chair in a well-appointed study. A man who looked to be in his mid-thirties, but she wasn't entirely certain, was seated opposite of her. The room glowed in the lamplight; the windows only framed the gray twilight. There was a deep chime of the grandfather clock in the corner—five o'clock.
"Thank you for joining me. Please pardon the methods used to bring you here. There was some need for secrecy. But please help yourself," He smiled broadly and gestured good-naturedly in front of him.
Anna's eyes moved from his face to where he was pointing. A respectable-looking spread for afternoon tea was set on a table between them. Perhaps this ordeal was not so dreadful after all. Anna was grateful for the tea table and the delicacies with which it was heaped. Being hungry, she did full justice to all that was placed before her. Its walls were hung with photographs of WSB leaders going back sixty years, most of them with serious unsmiling faces. She felt like they were looking back at her with disapproval.
Her host was silent as she ate. He was clean-shaven and distinguished-looking. There was a Puckish hint of mirth in his eyes that contrasted with the arrogant, superior smile that he wore. His navy blue pinstripe suit was well-tailored, but he wore no tie, and his dress shirt was open at the collar giving him an informal look. She felt unnerved as the silence stretched, so she sat behind the teacups facing the ordeal before her, staring back at her gallant and smiling host. She could feel her pulse beating to her fingertips. She willed her hands to not tremble. She steadied her legs by twisting them around the rungs of the chair.
"Now, do you know who I am?"
"You are Sean Donely," she said plainly
"Do you know what I do?"
"You are the Director of the WSB and the WSB training program."
"And who recruited you?"
"Agent Williams. In Toronto, at the gala at the end of the student workshop for Canada's National Ballet School. I was a student there. She invited me to apply."
"Wrong. I recruited you. I just sent her there to collect you. And I think you know that "
"I'm not sure how I would know that?" she shrugged. "My whole world was the ballet company then. Eat, sleep, dance, and really there wasn't much time for the first two. But you enjoy the ballet, sir? Are you a patron of the arts?"
"Clever, trying to engage me in conversation to uncover my motivations with the hopes that I won't recognize that I'm being exploited for information. Flattery and artificial ignorance, your Elicitation instructor, would be proud. But yes, to answer your question. I do enjoy the ballet. The ballet is beautiful." He smiled at her like an indulgent parent.
"A beautiful prison," she spat out.
Sean raised his eyebrows at her outburst.
"Hmm. That may be," he considered, "It's also a good place to find agents. A dancer understands sacrifice, how to manage pain, and keep smiling, they know discipline and how to execute the vision of their director. These are skills that are missing from coddled school children that ooze out of the Ivy Leagues. Every year I identify a handful of non-traditional applicants. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes I hit the nail right on the proverbial head. So how did you know I was observing you?"
"I knew who you were. I knew that you were more than just an avid theatergoer. But that's not unusual; male patrons are always interested in more than just the classical arts as the cards that were left in our dressing rooms made clear. But you were different. I knew you were interested in me, but you never sent flowers or cards. To other girls? Yes. But never me. So I did my own investigation, and that's how I learned about the WSB."
"And you wanted to know more," he said matter-of-factly. "My interest in you was professional, not personal. When you have been in this business as long as I have, sometimes you have to go with intuition rather than a resume. I've learned to trust my gut. I saw in you a hunger for adventure that I recognized. When I was a boy at school, I had a habit of looking at certain places on the map and saying, 'I'll go there. And I did. I have lived in many places, but I never thought of any of them as home. I think you also have a desire to follow the God of All Wanders as I did."
"I had to know more. I did love ballet, I thought it was a way to expand my world, but I was wrong; it only made me feel locked away from everything I wanted to see and experience. The only view of the outside I had was on stage, looking out at the audience members in their designer clothes and jewelry. I needed more than that."
"You haven't asked why I brought you here."
"I figured you would tell me when you were ready." she shrugged.
"I thought it was time that you and I got better acquainted. These tests that you went through, like the Arcana, are not meant to be cruel, even if they seem that way. They are meant to teach you about yourself as much as they teach us about you. So far, you have passed everything with flying colors, but everyone has chinks in their personal armor. Most of us learn to ignore those issues when in the field. But there are some that can't be ignored because they could cripple an agent at the critical moment."
"What issues do I have?"
"To be honest, Anna, your deep-rooted issue seems to be abandonment and privation. This is not surprising considering your orphaning at a young age and the spartan life you lived after beginning surrounded by comfort. It's to be expected considering your background."
A faraway look came into Anna's eyes as she remembered the faces of her lost family. "My parents and my family they have all left me in some way, or I left them." A hard edge entered her voice, and she looked up defiantly. "I feel their absence, but I don't let it consume me.."
"True, and except for that flaw, you are remarkably fearless. But after observing you, there is something else, this need to prove yourself that burns like a bright torch. It drives you more than you can realize. Some would just call that ambition or initiative but in some cases, this could prove dangerous to the mission or even to yourself. Your drive could make you deaf and blind to things you shouldn't ignore. For example, you could decide to stand your ground when flight would be best. The absence of fear results in carelessness, and your youth and inexperience only exacerbate this."
"If I have nothing to lose, why should I be scared? I don't have anyone to lean on now except for the WSB and myself." She hesitated and turned to look at him. 'We know what we are but know not what we may be," Anna said absentmindedly, looking out the window and into the inky blackness of night.
"Is that your personal philosophy?"
"It's Shakespeare. Hamlet, actually," she said
Sean looked at her with. There was something in his eyes she didn't like. He felt sorry for her, she knew it. Anna's eye flashed a mix of annoyance and real anger.
"I don't want your pity. It's in the past. It won't change, so I don't need to think about it."
"Too painful?" he queried.
Anna was very silent and thoughtful and shifted in her seat, contemplating the question, "No. Not anymore. But sometimes, the what-ifs still keep me awake at night. What if my parents hadn't died. What if I had stayed in England. Many things would have been different. Then again, I doubt I would be here with you today".
"True. Who knows, someday maybe you will have a family again."
"I don't see that happening."
"Why not?"
"I don't believe in love for one thing," Anna laughed. "Besides, I want to work for the organization, and we've already been instructed that agents shouldn't become personally involved because it can endanger their lives, civilians and jeopardize the outcome of the mission. Caring that much about anyone can just make them targets or be used as leverage by the DVX if they find them out. You've never wanted a family, have you?"
"No, you're right; no one wants to clean up the mess that those kinds of personal relationships leave behind. The game is easier played without distraction. What about friends? You are quite popular at the Academy; you must have many?"
"No, not many. After my family's death, I moved a lot. I learned to not get too close, not to trust too much, and be prepared to leave at a moment's notice. Even at the ballet school, students would come and go, so it was best not to get attached, and nothing was ever really mine." she faltered.
Suddenly her mind's eye was focused on a man with kind eyes who was reading out of the Oxford Latin steady, kind, hazel eyes that had gazed unfailingly into hers. He made her feel all sorts of lovely things, such as sympathy, kindness, and generosity.
Sean's eyes narrowed, and she felt as if he was reading her mind, and she tried not to squirm under his gaze.
"You aren't being honest. There is someone you are emotionally attached to. I can see it in your eyes. Friendship is also a liability Anna. You have to be unknowable. We work in teams, we trust each other with our lives but we can't know each other. Whoever this person is, it's clear they matter to you. Best to distance yourself from them so there are no distractions. There is a saying we use a lot in the WSB; 'He travels the fastest who travels alone."
Anna straightened her shoulders and tossed back her mane. "I won't let anything distract me," she said with determination.
Sean smiled a pleased smile. "Well, Anna, I can say one thing about you. Courage, you have it in spades. And you will need it an unshakable, absolute commitment to see something through. Sometimes it's life or death."
"Life or death? Is this what you are preparing me for?"
"Is that what it sounds like? Yes, we are the good guys Anna; make no mistake about it. I have some advice to give. I also have a little wisdom, but I cannot give you that; it comes with experience. But there are four things that I have always believed to apply to every mission. One, follow your instincts. Two, commit to the role. Three, don't break cover unless absolutely necessary. Four, do treat every mission as if it were life and death.
"I'll do my best."
"Your best isn't good enough. You will damn well succeed!" He slammed his fist down on the table between them. His intensity made Anna sit back in her seat with wide eyes. He turned away from her and moved to look out the window. His voice became softer without the tone of command she was used to hearing in his address.
"When an opportunity comes our way, our window is narrow, so we have to take our shot and make it as good as we can. You must trust me and do what I say without asking. Can you do that?"
"Yes, I can. I'll do whatever you need me to."
"It's not going to bother your moral sensibilities not knowing what will be asked of you?"
"It's my job. You just told me to trust you."
"I appreciate that you have the drive to accomplish any task. But what if what I ask you goes against your principles someday?"
"Morals aren't thrilling, but an adventure is." Anna said with a smile, "I just want to be ready."
"You will be far from unarmed. The Arcana has given you armor already. You just need to face the truth."
"The truth of what?"
"The truth of yourself and the mission."
"What mission?"
"Your mission tomorrow. You have one more test. If you accept it, of course. You don't have to, Anna. I want to make that very clear. The WSB will let you refuse without consequence. You will go back to the Academy and continue on with the standard curriculum. Or you can accept this challenge, and a whole other path might be open to you. An agent must be calm, patient, tactful, self-reliant, resourceful, and deeply committed to the cause. What do you choose? "
Anna's eyes widened, and a thrill bubbled through her. It was a sudden conversion as if she was choosing a baptism in a sea of unknowns, but a very thorough one. Just by being asked the question, she felt that she was cut off forever from her old life-even the Academy seemed to be in the past already. Her classmates would go with their small mundane ambitions. But not she. Instead, she was consecrated. Set apart. Anna shivered in ecstasy. She worked to remain calm and tried to look as cool and capable as possible.
"I choose the mission. Of course, I do."
"That is wonderful to hear."
"Is there anything I can study? I don't want to be at a disadvantage."
"That's not necessary. Creating an advantage isn't difficult if you think things through. Anticipate the unexpected. Imagine the worst. Prepare for difficulties. Do it often enough, and it becomes second to have one more trial in front of you. But that's for tomorrow. For now? How about a game of chess? And then you will need to rest."
Sean snapped his fingers and the table was cleared and a chessboard was set in place of the remains of their tea. Anna didn't even try to mask her surprise. When Anna was a very little girl, her father had taught her to play chess. She loved to move the heavy pieces around the board in front of the fire on cozy evenings at home. "Chess is a game of the mind, not a game of chance." her father had told her. "If you understand your opponent, he will tell you how to defeat him."
Anna only had a little time to size Director Donely up as an opponent. A quick glance around his study helped fill in some of the details. Paintings with foreign landscapes and pictures of beautiful women filled the frames on the walls. Strange carvings, curios, and artifacts from unknown origins were on his desk. From this, Anna could deduce that he was a confident man and a worldly one, in both his capacity as a leader in his profession and as a lover of women- he liked to be in control and would probably choose an aggressive strategy to try and show dominance. Anna knew she could use this to her advantage, and to do so, she would need to gain the upper hand first. She also supposed that a show of aggression would impress him. She smiled, leaned forward, and then proceeded to best him in twelve moves.
Years later, the look of astonishment on his face was one of her fondest memories.
