Day by Day Chapter 2: The Nightmares
Tsunade was woken up the same way every night, at exactly 2 AM she would wake up screaming, sitting up quicker than her brain could grasp and covered in a pool of her own sweat. No matter what she did, she couldn't shake the nightmares that plagued her. Some nights she would force herself to stay awake just until exhaustion took over, always hoping that just once she could sleep peacefully without the reminder of all the blood that she had on her hands. Every day she would go through the same mission reports going as far back as when she began her tenure as Hokage, trying to spot any clue she could that would tell her how it all started, any clue that would tell her that SHE made a mistake. In Tsunade's mind, there was no way this was some freak accident, that there had to have been a clue as to how the Akatsuki gained so much power so quickly, and right under their noses. Tsunade's health had declined so much that by order of the council she was to step down as Hokage and to give her seat to Kakashi just until Naruto was ready to take his rightful place as Hokage.
Tsunade was so used to being woken up by nightmares that she developed a new routine. First she would get up and shower, next she would remove the sheets on the bed and replace them with new ones as well as a new blanket. At some point she needed to just stop using sheets all together and lay on a bunch of towels, considering she had already spent a small fortune on buying more bedding. After changing the sheets she would head downstairs to make herself some lavender tea, by that point she would have calmed down just enough to eat something, usually something light like toast or oatmeal if she was feeling adventurous. The next step in her routine would be to light a candle for her fallen friend Jiraiya, saying a quick prayer before she carried her warm tea back up the stairs and to her room. Winter was just beginning so Tsunade found herself turning the heater on way past what she probably should. Maybe the house would catch on fire with her in it, maybe then that would atone for the sins she committed by letting children fight in a war they had no business being in, Tsunade felt personally responsible for the deaths of everyone including that of Jiraiya's. After all she did send him on the mission that ultimately would be his last. Sighing as she sat the cup of tea down on the night stand next to her bed, Tsunade couldn't find it in herself to fall asleep again, at least not just yet. Walking over to the window and opening the curtains slightly, Tsunade watched as the snow slowly began to fall covering the ground and everything the snow touched in a thin blanket of white. As she watched the snow fall she couldn't help but remember being a child, back when things were easier and she had no responsibilities. Winter used to be her favorite as she loved hot chocolate and building snowmen with Jiraiya and Orochimaru with the occasional snowball fight. After several minutes of watching the snow fall Tsunade decided she would finally try to fall back asleep, she knew it was pointless but she truly did hope that this time her slumber would be uneventful. Before she laid down, Tsunade picked her tea up and took a few sips, the hot water soothed the sore throat she developed from having woken up previously that night in a fit. Once her cup was empty Tsunade set it back down on the night stand, making a mental note to take it downstairs when she woke up again. Crawling back into the warmth of her bed, Tsunade stared at the ceiling for a moment, as soon as her head had touched the pillows her eyes felt heavy, her chest pounded with the anxiety of what was to come. Rolling over to face the wall Tsunade slowly closed her eyes, her breathing evened out as she fell into what would be her second nightmare of the night.
In her nightmares Tsunade was on the battlefield again, but this time she was holding the kunai that was embedded inside Neji, this time it was her who murdered Neji Hyuga. Tsunade looked around, was everything previously a dream? Was the war still going on? Why was Neji in her arms? Looking down at his lifeless body, her clothes soaked in his blood and her mind was going miles a minute. Tsunade wanted to scream, she felt like she couldn't breathe, her own body wouldn't move. Was this some kind of genjutsu? Tsunade tried to scream his name or at least shake him, but she could sense that he was long dead. The scene unfolded and eventually Tsunade was surrounded by the villagers, all of them calling her a murderer and screaming for her to be put to death, a life for a life as they said. As Tsunade sat shackled where she was, Neji's body turned to water almost as if the body she was holding was some kind of substitution jutsu. Before she could even say anything a familiar voice called out to her, looking up from where she thought Neji's body was she saw Jiraiya, he too was covered in blood. His bones looked like they had been shattered into a million pieces, as he walked he limped, he had steel rods piercing through him, the more he walked, the more blood poured out of his wounds. This time Tsunade couldn't stop the tears that quickly slid down her face as if a hurricane was caused by her tear ducts. Opening her mouth she screamed "Jiraiya! Please stop moving, let me help you!" Tsunade still found herself unable to move from the seated position she was in, her eyes scanned his entire body, she stopped at his lips as they began to form words, the only thing she could make out was "you killed me." That image was the last thing Tsunade saw before she jolted up right in bed gasping for air and clutching her shirt.
