Hello everyone.

I feel I need to explain everything.

My co-author and former friend, fe698 and I had a falling out on Thursday the 29th of June. For most of the month, we'd had difficulties, but I thought we had turned a corner and that our relationship was on the mend.

On Saturday the 1st of July, I woke up to a message from fe698 on Steam, saying that for his mental health he was ending our friendship and collaboration.

Needless to say, this blindsided me completely, especially when I thought we were fixing things.

He even had the gall to send me a farewell present with his final message. I declined, saying I would rather keep him as a friend.

He has since blocked me on all social media and refused to respond to any of my emails. He has not deleted but effectively disabled his account on here as well, reducing his bio to 'this account is no longer in use' in what I suspect is an attempt to avoid any consequences for his actions.

In his concern for his own mental health, my now former friend has neglected mine entirely. I've repeatedly been in contact with Lifeline, Australia's suicide prevention hotline, to try and stay safe in the last few days. This man was my only friend, and just when I think we were fixing our friendship, he cut me out of his life.

As I said, I have been on the phone with Lifeline more or less constantly since the 1st. I have been crying pretty much non-stop and lying in my bed. I don't suffer from insomnia; I suffer from hypersomnia, a condition where you sleep too much. It is an attempt on my part to numb myself to the world around me for a while. I've eaten and drunk little since then, more or less just enough to keep everyone off my back.

I feel rather distraught. Abandoned. Lonely. Maybe a little bit of a broken heart as well. And yes, some of these thoughts have led my mind down dark paths for myself. I've often had thoughts in recent days of self-harm and suicide, though I haven't acted on them yet.

At the moment, simply opening my eyes each morning is a struggle.

Thank you for your time.

kornerbrandon