My hands tremble, my knees feel as though they may buckle beneath me. Talking about myself isn't something I'm fond of. "I'm Gracie, I'm 14, 15 next month, I live in a group home. There are 7 other girls there. Um, my mom died giving birth to me and my dad took his own life when I was seven. That was the start of a lot of my problems. I've been moved to a lot of homes because my foster parents would always get irritated with me. Up until I started middle school, I didn't talk. I was perfectly able to, I just didn't want to. That's why they all hated me; I would never say what I want. So, my social worker put me in a group home, I stayed there until I was 13 then got moved to the one that I'm in now."

"And what's your diagnosis, Gracie?" The group leader asks. Everyone's eyes are fixed on me.

"I have depression and PTSD, with a nice little side of anxiety." The group laughs. "It started when my dad died because I was the one who found him. I got really bad; I would hurt myself a lot. I tried to take my own life a couple of times, but I'm 3 months clean right now." I feel the warmth of Sophia's hand wrap around mine. "I'm doing okay though. I mean, it's difficult living in the group home, the other kids can be kind of scary sometimes. But my roommate is okay, we don't really talk much. I'm still looking for a permanent foster home though. My goal is to get adopted."

"Thank you, Gracie. Would anyone else like to speak?" I sit back down next to Sophia. We met here about five months ago, in our therapy group. She's been a very good friend to me, in fact, she's my only friend.

"That was really brave G," She whispers to me. I squeeze her hand again. When I started the group, I didn't talk to anyone, but after meeting Sophia I've managed to say a little something every week, I've been building up the courage to tell the whole story, and I've finally done it. It might not have been in great depth but it's enough for me, at least for now.

Every Sunday after group, Sophia and I go to our favorite diner and get burgers. But today she's invited me to her house. I've been over a few times and hung out with her and her family, but today her half-sister Callie is going to be there, she's wanted me to meet her for a while now. She's always talking about her. I was nervous enough to meet Sophia's parents for the first time, but meeting her sister is different. She's closer to my age, probably has more reasons to judge me. People don't generally like me. I just don't want to make a bad impression.

We sit in Sophia's room with the TV on a low volume while she tells me more about her sister. "She was adopted about a year ago now. Her moms, Stef and Lena are awesome, and she has three brothers, Jude, Brandon, and Jesus, and then her sister Mariana," She says.

"And they're all adopted?" I can't imagine ever getting adopted by such a big loving family. Well, Sophia makes it sound amazing, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

"All except for Brandon, he's Stef's biological son." In my experience, the bio kids are always the worst. They either feel threatened by new kids or they just take advantage of you. "And Callie does photography too, she's really good, look." She shows me a framed photo on her nightstand, it's of Sophia and her dad standing on their boat. The background is all blurred and the way the light hits them makes them look incredible. It looks like it could be in a museum.

"Wow, that's beautiful."

"Thanks," A voice answers me. The tall, dark-haired girl approaches us.

"Hi, you must be Callie, I'm Gracie." I stand up and shake her hand.

"I'm Callie, Sophia's told me a lot about you." She smiles at me, she's very pretty.

"Yeah, I've heard about you too." My nerves stay with me. She seems nice enough, but I know better than to judge a book by its cover.

"Come on guys, we're just about to have dinner." Sophia leads us both downstairs.

"So, you live in a group home? I used to live in one too," Callie says to me.

"Yeah, Sophia mentioned that," I say. "It's not too bad." I don't know how much I can trust this girl, so I don't want to go too into detail.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find your forever family," She smiles as she talks to me. In fact, she's been smiling since she got here.

"No one really wants teenagers." Most people who are looking to adopt usually go for cute kids, usually under the age of five.

"You'd be surprised, I found my family when I was 15, don't give up okay?" She hugs me. At first, it's awkward, but once I take a breath, I hug her back. Maybe she's not so bad.

We sit out on the patio for dinner. I enjoy spending time with Sophia's parents, they may be a little bit snobby and uptight, but they always do their best to make me feel at home.

"How was group today girls?" Her dad asks us.

"It was good, Gracie told her story," Sophia says. My cheeks turn red. Sophia's parents know my story; they know a lot about me because Sophia is big on sharing.

"You did? Well done Gracie, I know that must have been difficult for you." Her mom says, squeezing my hand across the table. Sometimes I wish she could be my mom. Once Sophia asked if they could foster me, but Sophia was not doing so well mentally, it just wasn't the right time. And now I think they just want to focus all their energy on her, which is fine, I understand.

"Thank you. Yeah, it was scary, but I had my best friend by my side."

"That's so sweet, I wish I had a friend like that," Callie says.

"You have me, and Mariana, and your brothers, and AJ, and Daphne and all the other girls," Sophia reassures her sister.

"Wow, I guess you're right." Callie seems somewhat surprised.

"Sometimes it's hard to see what you have, and be grateful for it until someone points it out, you have a lot going for you Callie," I say.

"Hey, let's not get emotional, besides, you have us," Sophia says. I hug her.

"Eat your dinner girls, we're going to pop in a movie when we're done," Robert says.

"Is it okay if I stay?" I ask. One thing I remember about my dad was that he always taught me to have good manners and never outstay my welcome.

"Of course, don't be silly Gracie, you're always welcome here." The Quinn's smile at me. Even if I can't be a part of the family, I'm lucky to have them in my life.

Right after dinner, we settle down in the living room and begin watching the movie 'Hook', one of Sophia's favorites. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom because there's something I need to do. I lied earlier in group. And I've been lying to Sophia for a while. I'm not three months clean, I'd say it's more like three hours. I've had a rough week. One of the girls in my home is giving me a hard time. Eileen. she saw all the scars I've made on my arms and since then she's been telling me I need to cut deeper and kill myself, so she doesn't have to. I don't know why she hates me so much, but that's just how life goes for me. At least she's not my roommate, or she may have killed me in my sleep by now.

Since I stood up in group, I've felt the urge to cut. As quietly as I can, I rifle through the medicine cabinet in the family bathroom to find Roberts razor blades. I've never cut with something so sharp, but I don't even hesitate to pull one out of the box and drag across my upper forearm. There's a lot of blood and pain but it brings me an instant sense of relief and a kind of tranquillity for a moment. I put everything away and hold down some toilet paper on the cut. I sit on the floor for a little while, until I hear the door knock.

"Uh, one second." My voice breaks. I rush to try and stop the bleeding, but it drips over the counter and the floor.

"Hey, it's Callie, you've been in there for a while," She says. "Are you alright?" I guess I have been in here a little longer than I should be.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second." I can't have her finding out what I'm doing, I don't know what she would do.

"I'm coming in." She swings the door open to see me covered in blood. I stand there in shock. And without hesitation, she leaps into action. She takes my arm and wipes the blood away, holding pressure on the wound. She goes through the cabinet and finds a bandage. "Sit down." I perch on the edge of the tub. She crouches in front of me and begins wrapping my arm up.

"You don't have to do this," I tell her. "I can do it myself." I still have my guard up.

"I'm not doing it because I have to. I'm doing it because I care." She looks me in the eye, and I can see she's being genuine. "Any friend of Sophia's is a friend of mine." She secures the bandage and sits cross-legged on the floor. "Now, do you wanna talk about it?"

I sit staring at her for a second, unsure of whether I can open up to her. And suddenly, I do. "I don't know why I'm like this. I'm getting better though, I go to group therapy, I have a counselor and I take pills for my PTSD, but I still get bad sometimes," I spill my guts to her. "Please don't tell anyone. I told Sophia that I've been clean for 3 months, and I was until this week."

"Why? What happened this week?" She asks, and I tell her about the girl in my home. "I would say to tell the person in charge at your home, but if I'm honest it might only make things worse." She's right, otherwise, I would have done that by now. Our guardian is just as bad as the girls sometimes. "Just avoid her as much as can, and if it gets worse or more frequent, then request a transfer." I can't transfer, the next place they send me to will be my last, and that's not a good thing.

"I can handle it for now, but please Callie, don't tell Sophia. I'm doing everything I can to stop, I promise." She looks down at my bandaged arm and pulls my sleeve down for me.

"I won't. Do you want me to walk home?" It's incredible. Twenty minutes ago, I saw this girl as a possible threat. Now, I feel like I can trust her with my darkest thoughts. Sophia said we would get along; I just didn't believe her.

"Yeah, sure." After taking a moment to prepare myself, we go back out to the living room. "Hey sorry about that, I just had a tough day and needed a moment to myself. Thank you for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn, I'm gonna head home now."

"Anytime Gracie, do you need a ride?" Robert asks.

"No, it's okay, we're gonna walk," Callie says, "Gracie lives on the way to mine anyway. Thanks for having me."

"Text me when your home, G." Sophia hugs me and Callie and sees us out. It's already dropping dark.

"How's your arm now?" She asks as we walk together.

"I think it's stopped bleeding, thanks again for that, I feel a lot better."

"You can talk to me anytime you need, and of course Sophia, she's your best friend." She smiles.

"So, why did you end up in a group home?" I ask her.

"I ran away from home because I thought my moms didn't want me, I stole a sandwich, got myself arrested and instead of going to juvie, I stayed at Girls United for a little while, it was scary at first, but we all developed a pretty good relationship with each other. I still visit them a lot now."

"I don't think I'd visit anyone if I ever get out." We reach my group home. I just stand there and look up to my bedroom window. Every week after being with Sophia, it gets harder and harder to come back here.

"I know I said before it might not be wise to talk to your guardian, but I can come in if you want, talk to her about today," She offers.

"No, it's okay. If she found out I was struggling again she'd send me to a different home."

"Well isn't that what you want?" She starts walking up, but I yank her back.

"No Callie, please don't. It wouldn't be just any home, it would be a special one, for kids who aren't all there." I tap my temple. "She's been threatening to send me there for a while now, I've got one more strike before she sends me there. I've met kids that live there, they're crazy!" I tear up a little, Callie hugs me and I break down. "I'm sorry, it's just all so scary." I've never allowed myself to trust someone this quickly.

"It's okay. Don't apologize, you're going to be fine if you just keep your head down. I'll see you soon." She sends me on my way, waiting at the top of the path until I go in the house. Before I even knock Jenna, the care worker opens the door.

"Cutting a bit fine aren't we, Gracie?" I look back at Callie, she smiles. Not knowing what I'm about to be in for. Jenna closes the door behind me.

"Sorry, I walked home with Sophia's sister."

"I don't care, go to bed." She walks off into the living room. I do as she says and go up to my room. Instead of being met with my roommate, Eileen is sat on the end of my bed. In her hands is my makeup bag. Only I don't use it for makeup, it has all of my cutting supplies in there.

"What are you doing with that?" I ask, attempting to snatch it away.

"I just wanted to make sure you had everything you need." She uncurls her hand to reveal a knife, from the kitchen. She drops it in the bag.

"Get out," I say bravely. "I'm serious."

"Oh, you're serious?" She laughs, she stands up, takes a step towards me, and grabs my arm.

"Get off of me," I whisper, trying not to alarm Jenna.

Eileen pushes me against the wall, pinning my right arm behind me. She rolls up my sleeve. "I see you've patched yourself up." I try to shimmy out of her grasp, but she's stronger than me. "What's the point in that?" She yanks the bandage off my arm and runs her fingers over my cuts. "Wow, these are pathetic." She jams her thumb into the freshest wound, causing me to collapse onto the floor in pain. She finally let's go of me. "Just hurry up and kill yourself." She spits in my face on her way out of my room.

I rush into the bathroom, I've started bleeding again, it's dripping all down my arm. It's practically gushing. I try to everything I can to stop the bleeding, but it just doesn't stop, it runs down my arm, onto my pajamas and all over the floor. I hold clump after clump of tissue paper on it, but it soaks through all of it, now there's none left. I sit down on the floor and start using the hand towels, then I try to get up and get the bigger towels, but I can't find the strength to get up. I find myself becoming breathless, and it's getting more and more difficult to keep my eyes open. My legs and arms go limp, and I slide down until I'm lying on the bathroom floor. I stare up at the ceiling fan before everything blurs into darkness.