When I open my eyes, Mariana is sat opposite me. I jump out of my skin.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure you okay." I guess Lena told her what happened.
"No, it's okay, I just wasn't expecting anyone to be in here. I'm fine, thanks." I sit up to face her. "It's just a lot you know. New school, new house, being kicked out of said house," I sigh.
"Yeah, I heard about that. I'm so sorry, but hey, maybe your emergency placement won't be as bad you think." She says, it's sweet that's she's hopeful for me, but I'm going to need a lot more than hope.
"I don't know, I've never been to one emergency home that wasn't absolute hell." I rub the sleep out of my eyes. Then I look down to my right and see my suitcase. Someone must have dropped it off. "Do you have the time?" She looks down at her watch.
"3:45, school ended 15 minutes ago but I'm getting a ride with my mom, she's in a meeting. I usually wait here for her."
"Oh, so I've been asleep for hours. I guess I'll be getting picked up soon." Not long until I'm in some stranger's house, locked in and starved.
"Look, Gracie." She gets up and sits next to me. "I know how terrified you must be, I was scared when I got fostered, but I can tell you're strong. Okay? So just keep that, you know, stay that same person, because that person has made it this far, and there's no use in giving up now."
"Thank you. I've gotten more support in the two days I've been at this school than I have in my whole life." Mariana and her whole family are rooting for me.
"That's because you matter. Just as much as the rest of us do." She hugs me. I have another friend who's looking out for me. The door swings open, in walk Lena and a police officer with short blonde hair. Is she taking me to my new foster home? Do they think I'm dangerous?
"Gracie, this is Stef, my wife." They sit down in the armchairs.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you. Don't worry, I'm just here to talk." I sigh in relief. "I occasionally work in liaison with the school, so if you feel unsafe or scared in your emergency placement then simply talk to Lena, she'll call me, and I can help. Hopefully, that's not the case." More hope. "But as long as you're at this school, you have people to talk to." It does help, I do feel safer and more prepared already. I just have to endure this new home for the nights, and in the day I'll be here.
"So, I don't have to move schools, right?" I ask.
"I've spoken to your social worker and she's agreed to find you a local placement, so you won't be taken out of Anchor Beach," Lena replies.
"Thank you so much." Maybe I will be alright after all. The door knocks. We all immediately stand up.
"Come in," Lena says. It's Anita, with that look on her face, the same one she has every time I get moved. It's a mixture of pity and disappointment.
"Are you ready?" She asks.
"Yeah." I turn to Lena and her family. Mariana hugs me. "Thanks again, I'll see you tomorrow," I say to all of them. Anita takes my suitcase and I follow her to her car. She doesn't talk until we start driving.
"You're being placed with a couple called John and Mary, there's nothing in their file to discredit them, they've taken on emergency placements before and they have a biological daughter called Rachel, she's very friendly and you'll be sharing a room with her." I nod along, pretending I'm perfectly happy. They don't sound too bad.
Again, the car ride feels very short. When we arrive at the house, it's nothing like I expected. It's nice, painted a clean white with flower boxes on the windows. I decide to make this go as quickly as I can, because it's an emergency placement I won't be here very long, just until a new group home is found, or if Anita changes her mind and lets me meet more potential long-term foster parents. Plus, Lena said she's going to help find the safest home for me. I pull my suitcase out of the back seat and walk quickly with Anita to the front door. She was about to knock but I beat her to it. I have to seem cooperative, but I may be overdoing it a little. The door opens right away. In front of us stands a happy looking couple and a teenage girl, maybe a year or two older than me.
"Hi, come in!" The woman says, she looks like a normal woman, not an addict or a child abuser. The husband looks nice too.
"I have another client to deal with, so, unfortunately, I can't come in, but you'll be okay. Right, Gracie?" Anita says. I take a moment before putting on a fake smile and nodding like an idiot. "Good luck," She says. She walks back to her car texting away, not taking a moment to look back. Mary puts her arm around me and welcomes me into her home.
"I'm Mary, this is my husband John and our daughter Rachel." The girl smiles at me, but I can't tell if it's genuine. "I'll show you around, dinner will be ready soon," Mary says as she takes my suitcase.
"I'll go check on dinner," John says.
"I'll help," Rachel says. She follows him to the other side of the house.
Mary shows me the living room, the study, the kitchen, the dining room, and the bathroom. It's a nice house, relatively big for three people. Finally, she shows me the room I'll be sharing with her daughter. It's pretty nice, there's a big double bed beneath the window and air bed on the floor in the corner, that's for me. It's a pretty room, very girly, well decorated.
"Would you like me to help you unpack? We still don't know how long you'll be with us." She sits on the edge of her daughters' bed.
"I'm okay, thank you. Would it be alright if I had a little time alone? It's been a long day," I ask.
"Sure honey, I'll go check on dinner. You come down when you're ready. Rachel cleared a few drawers for you." She points to a dresser next to my mattress. I sit down on the air mattress and unzip my suitcase. "Oh, before I forget." She pulls something out of her pocket. "This is yours." She hands me the phone that Callie and Sophia gave me. "Nancy dropped it off earlier, she told me only to give it to you if you were well behaved but, I think we'll get on just fine." She smiles at me.
"Thank you," I say as she heads out of the room, closing the door behind her. I listen for the sound of a lock turning but there's nothing. I'm not trapped. I don't feel at all like I'm in danger, I feel pretty safe for the first time in a while.
I unpack all of my clothes and fold them neatly, putting them in somewhat of a system in the drawers. I plug my phone and place my notebook on the dresser. I look around the room, there's a lot of pictures. There's one on the table next to Rachel's bed. It's of her and her parents, in fact, all of the pictures of her and her parents, there's none with any friends or a boyfriend. Just her and the family. They look happy. She has a lot of pretty things too, the cushions on her bed all tie together perfectly, there are plants everywhere, and she has shelves scattered with little trinkets and ornaments.
I join them downstairs and they're sat at the dinner table to eat, like a real family. I sit down with them. They don't talk. They sit in silence; all I can hear is the sound of knives and forks scratching plates. They've cooked a huge dinner, chicken, potatoes, roasted vegetables. It's delicious. The rest of the meal goes the same as it started, complete silence. When we finish, Mary takes the plates from the table. I offer to help clear up, but she refuses, saying that guests don't have to do housework.
"Rachel, why don't you go and show Gracie how the TV works?" Mary says.
"Sure, come on." She smiles at me and takes my hand, leading me to the living room. We sit down on the couch where she lets go of my hand and picks up the remote. She shows me all the channels they have, and how to switch between the DVD player and TiVo. She puts something on Comedy Central, but she lowers the volume. "So, how did you end up in the foster system?"
"Well, my mom died when I was born, and my dad killed himself when I was seven."
"Oh, I'm sorry. That must suck." She crosses her legs and looks at me.
"Yeah, it does. But I'm okay, I guess." Maybe she could be a friend too. "I mean I got pretty depressed. I guess I still am, but I'm pretty good right now." I smile.
"Well, that's good." She smiles back.
"Your parents a pretty cool." I cross my legs too.
"They're alright, I mean I love them but they're a little overbearing sometimes." At least she has parents. She turns the volume back up and we watch trash TV for an hour or two. Afterward, I excuse myself to call Sophia. I go up to my temporary bedroom, closing the door behind me. I press the green button next to her name and she picks up before the first ring even finishes.
"Gracie! Oh my God, I was so worried, Callie told me about you getting kicked out of Montgomery for having your phone, I'm sorry it's all my fault."
"Calm down Sophia, it's not your fault at all, it was my mine. I was careless. But it's okay, I have it back now, I'm okay. I'm safe, I promise," I reassure her.
"You're really okay? What's the emergency placement like?" She still sounds worried.
"It's pretty good, they have a daughter, she's nice. I'm sharing a room with her. The parents are nice too."
"You're really okay though? Like really, really okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good S, I swear."
"And you haven't… you know?" I do know.
"No, no, not since that day, I promise you, I'm doing good."
"Will I be able to see you? I don't think I can wait until Sunday at group therapy."
"I don't know, I'll ask Mary tomorrow."
"Okay, well I'm glad you're okay, text me in the morning yeah? I have to go I have-"
"Homework? Me too. Speak to you soon, love you."
"Love you, G." We hang up at the same time. I feel even safer knowing I can talk to my best friend. I hear a knock at the door, Rachel comes in.
"Pretty weird knocking on my door," She laughs. "Mom said we should do our homework and get some sleep soon." She goes and sits on her bed.
"Cool, I have a lot of work to catch up on."
She sits down on her bed, pulling her backpack up with her from the floor. I do the same. "Is it cool if I put some music on?" She asks. I nod. She gets up and plugs her iPod into a small speaker. She plays a song by Demi Lovato, it's called Warrior. I love this song.
"You listen to Demi?" I ask.
"Duh, she's awesome, some of her stuff is a little deep but I like it. You a fan too?" She smiles at me.
"Yeah, she's amazing, the way she turned her life around is so inspiring." She nods. "Rachel, can I ask you something?"
"Call me Rae, and sure, go for it." She puts her textbook down.
"Would your mom be cool if I met a friend after school tomorrow? I haven't seen her since our last group meeting."
"I don't see why not. Is she like your girlfriend or something?" She asks awkwardly.
"No, just my best friend. I'm not seeing anyone. Are you?" Since I met her, I've been dying to know, she's just so pretty. Regardless of all the crap I'm going through, I'm still a teenager.
"No. I got dumped last week." She looks back down at her homework.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"I've been better."
"What was he like?"
"She, she was awesome, at least I thought she was." I haven't had any trace of feelings for anyone for a while. But I can't help it, she's beautiful. I'm not saying I like her like that, I'm just saying she's pretty. "I don't really wanna talk about it if that's okay, I have a project to work on."
"Oh sure, sorry." We both return to our homework and listen to music. After working for a while, I take a shower in Rae's bathroom and head to bed. When I get back into the room, I see she's in her underwear. It takes me by surprise.
"I sleep like this, is that okay?" She laughs, getting into her bed. The way she looks at me, I don't know, it's kind of flirty.
"Oh yeah, fine by me. It's your room." I get into my bed too. She turns the lights out.
We don't go to sleep for hours because we're up talking, not about anything important. Just TV shows we like, music, which celebrities are hottest. I feel like a normal kid for once. She opens up to me, she has depression too, she said she's a lot better now but when she was little, she spent a month in hospital in recovery from an episode. If she's comfortable enough to tell me all of this, then I can be too. I share my story, and she doesn't give me the usual 'I'm sorry for your loss' crap, she tells me she understands, she's been there before.
