The morning is a lot more relaxed than the last few I've had. Rae and I took turns in the bathroom then got dressed and had breakfast. It wasn't as formal as dinner; we sat at the kitchen island. I had a slice of toast while I rushed to get my things together.
"Rae, your bus is outside, go!" Mary says, ushering her daughter out of the front door.
"John, can you drive Gracie? I have a few things to do around the house before I head off to work."
"Sure, come on Gracie, I'm running late too." I take the last bite of my toast and get in John's car. It's a nice car, very expensive. He chats to me as he drives, asking about what my favorite classes are and if the kids are nice. He seems like a really good guy, making my situation feel even better. "Have fun today kiddo, I'll pick you up at 3.30."
"Oh, I've been meaning to ask, is it okay if I meet a friend for dinner after school? Her dad can drop me home right after."
"Yeah, sure I don't see why that would be a problem, here, put my number in your phone." He hands me his call, and I insert my number. "Will you be out late?" He asks as he takes the phone from me. His hand lingers on mine for a moment, but I just ignore it.
"I can be home by nine if that's okay?"
"Yeah sure, I'll let Mary know."
"Thank you, I'll see you later." I get out of the car and watch him drive away. The first thing I do is text Sophia and tell her I'm all good to meet at the diner. I go meet Jude at my locker and we start the day. At lunch, he tells me he's gotta turn in a few late assignments, so he says he'll meet me at my locker for English class. So, I decide to text Callie and ask if she wants to have lunch with me, I didn't get to talk to her yesterday. We meet outside on the bench we were on before. She's with Mariana.
"Hey, how's the new home?" She hugs me.
"It's good, the family is really nice." I smile. "They didn't lock me in or anything. They have a daughter, she's pretty cool."
"That's awesome. You look really happy, Gracie. Does she go here?" Callie asks me as I sit down.
"No, she goes to an all-girls school."
"God I could never do that," Mariana says, imagining life without boys. I don't have that problem. "So, you're doing well?"
"Yeah, I am. Kind of sucks it's just a temporary home, but maybe not all emergency homes are bad. And next time I have to go to one, it'll be okay."
"That's the spirit. And you never know, they might offer to let you stay for a while." Callie says. They both smile at me and we end up talking about their boyfriends.
"Mat can be a little too masculine sometimes, you know? Like when we're shopping and I'm trying on clothes he's like really weird about it, he just stands around saying stuff like 'yeah, cool, pretty'." She mimics him.
"Well, I'm not much of a shopper but when I ask AJ if I look okay, he just kind of looks at me." They laugh.
"What about you Gracie? You got a special guy?" I think about whether or not to tell them. I've never had to come out before.
"No, not really." Then I just say it. "I'm not into guys, I like girls. I'm gay." I don't think I've ever said it out loud before. Not because I'm ashamed, there's just never been anyone to tell.
"Well, have you got a special girl then?" Neither of them cares. I guess because they have gay moms it doesn't faze them. I could say that I may have a tiny crush on my foster sister, but I don't think I should. I think it's against the law for foster siblings to date, not that she would ever want to take me.
"Uh no, I don't think it's a good time for a relationship right now anyway."
"Yeah, you're probably right, but if someone comes along that you like, don't turn her away. Give it a chance," Callie says. I guess she's got a point.
I spend the rest of the day in classes with Jude and Taylor. When the last bell rings and I start walking, Jude, Callie, Jesus, Mariana, and Brandon catch up to me. The whole family is here.
"Hey, where are you going?" Jesus asks.
"Um, I'm meeting Sophia at the diner."
"Cool, we'll walk with you, our house is on the way," Jude says. I start to make conversation with Brandon a little, he tells me about his music and stuff. I try to relate by telling him I played the violin when I was a kid, but he just laughs and tells me how different the two instruments are. We reach their house and they all say their goodbyes to me.
I get to the diner and Sophia is already sitting outside waiting for me.
"Hey!" She gets up and hugs me. "I got you cheese fries and a strawberry shake, your favorite!" We sit down together.
"Thanks, S, I've been craving these for days!" I dig in.
"So, what's the girl like? Is she hot?" Sophia's the only one, apart from Callie and Mariana now, who knows I'm gay.
"Sophia!" I blush a little.
"She is, isn't she?"
"Yeah a little, I guess," I downplay it. "But she's my foster sister, it wouldn't work." I laugh. Sophia's always trying to find me a girlfriend.
"Yeah, you're right. But maybe when you find your forever family, you'll be able to like start something?"
"I won't rule it out, but I want to focus on being happy and having a good home before I start seeing people. I'm only 14, I've got my whole life ahead of me." She smiles at me. "What?"
"You've never like, spoken like that," She says.
"Spoken like what?"
"Like you have a future. You've never said that you wanna live, you know?" I guess she's right, I do want to see what the future holds. I smile at her. We sit for a few hours talking about what I've missed on all our favorite reality shows and what I've missed in her family. Her dad wants to go to Spain, her mom wants to go to Paris, and she wants to go to Hawaii. "Sorry, your problems are way worse than mine."
"No, no it's fine. I like hearing about normal things." I wouldn't necessarily say her problems are normal; her family is rich. She has rich girl problems.
"Actually, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but my parents said that if your social worker lets you; you can come with us. We're going for two weeks in July."
"No way? I mean, I won't get my hopes up but that would be awesome." I can't help but get my hopes up a little, maybe I will get lucky.
We continue talking for a while, then her dad picks us up. He asks me the same old questions, 'how's the new home', 'are you feeling okay', all that stuff. And then he drops me at the house. When I get inside only John is home.
"Mary's working late then going for drinks with her friends, and Rachel's staying at a friend's house. So, it's just me and you." He smiles.
"Oh okay, well I have a lot of homework so-"
"Don't be silly." He cuts me off. "Come sit down, watch TV with me." He pats the couch cushion next to him. I really should catch up with my work, but he just wants to get to know me. So, I awkwardly shuffle over to the couch and sit next to him. "You into baseball?" He asks with a mouthful of popcorn.
"Uh, not really, I don't know much about sports."
"No, I wouldn't think a pretty girly-girl like you would be into sports." I blush at the compliment, though I do feel a little uncomfortable. "Do you like to dance?" He turns on Dancing with the Stars.
"I don't know," I laugh nervously. "Sophia and I mess around sometimes; we love this show."
"Would you ever be able to move like that?" He points to a woman on the screen, moving her hips seductively against her dance partner. My slight discomfort turns an overpowering need to escape.
"Umm, I don't think so." My blood rushes to my cheeks, I start to sweat a little. This feels wrong. But he's just trying to be nice, right?
"Come on, you must have some moves, a sexy girl like you." He slides closer to me. This is wrong, isn't it?
"I have homework." I remove myself from the awkward situation and walk quickly upstairs, closing the door behind me. Why would he be talking to me like that? He's must be at least 40. Surely, I have the wrong end of the stick. Instead of doing homework, I get into my pajamas go to bed. Then the door knocks, and I don't feel so safe anymore. John comes in, his silhouette takes up the whole doorframe before he turns the light on. He sits on the end of my mattress. I sit up, hugging my knees, and avoiding eye contact.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to feel confident, you seem very insecure," He apologizes.
"No, it's fine, I'm okay." I'm not okay, I'm scared. I'm not as safe as I thought I was.
"Because you are beautiful and want you to make sure you know that." He slides closer, putting his hand on my leg. He rubs it slowly, sending shivers down my spine. I feel sick to my stomach. He slowly leans over to me, and then he kisses me, but I stand up and push him off.
"What are you doing?" I shout at him, wiping him off of my lips. I can smell his musky cologne.
"Come on don't be like that." He walks over to close the door. "We can make this work."
My breathing speeds up, my heart pounds of out my chest. He grabs my hand and makes me sit down at the end of Rachel's bed. This cannot be happening to me.
