I can faintly make out the back of Callie's head amid the blurring streetlights reflecting off of the windshield, I'm laid across the back seats of the mini.
"Is her seat belt on?!" She yells.
"Yes, for the third time!" Mariana shouts back. "How much did she have?"
"I don't know she was off with Jason all night; I knew something bad would happen. We should never have left her alone."
"Callie, it's fine, she's a teenager. These things happen."
"It's not fine, we were supposed to be looking after her Mariana, she's only 14. God, moms are going to kill us." I close my eyes again. The next time I open them, Jesus and Callie are dragging me into the house.
"Hey, Jesus." I smile at him.
"Hey. Come on, let's get you upstairs."
"Keep her quiet," Callie says. We go inside and up the stairs.
"I'll go distract moms." Mariana goes into her parents' room.
"I'm fine!" I laugh. They put me down on my camp bed.
"Just go to sleep Gracie, before you get us all in trouble."
"Why so serious Callie?" She ignores me and turns the light off.
I wake up with the sun beaming in my face. Callie and Mariana are gone. I have a horrible headache and I feel like I have to puke again. I run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and throw up in the toilet.
"Gracie? Are you alright in there, love?" Stef knocks on the door. I ignore her. I'm so embarrassed. They opened their home to me, put a roof over my head, gave me somewhere to sleep, and I repay them by acting like an idiot. "Open the door." I crawl over to the door and unlock it, she comes in and sits next to me.
"Are you sick?" I puke again. "Are you hungover?" Her voice goes from concerned to sort of mad. I nod. "How much did you drink?"
"I don't know, I'm sorry, this isn't like me."
"Oh, Gracie. Why get yourself drunk? At a time like this?" She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I just wanted to not feel it anymore," I admit.
"There are other ways to get through this."
"The only other way I know almost got me killed." I regret saying it immediately.
"What do you mean?" She looks down at my arm, Callie took my jacket off my last night and I slept in the dress. All my scars are exposed. "Oh, love." She puts her hand on my scars and strokes them. "You're gonna be alright, drinking and self-harm is not the answer, you're only 14."
"I know. I won't do it again, I swear. And I don't cut anymore. I'm sorry, it's not fair to you guys." She hugs me.
"It's okay love, you're okay here." People keep saying that, that I'm okay as long as I'm here, but I'm not here for very long. This could all be taken away from after the trial ends. I keep self-sabotaging.
"When do we have to go to court?" I ask. I can't believe I got myself drunk the night before I find out whether John goes to Jail.
"Not until two, get showered and dressed and come down for breakfast. That'll make you feel a little better."
"Thanks, Stef."
I do as she says, and I get dressed in the clothes that Callie has left on my bed. She must be so mad at me, and Mariana and Jesus. I go downstairs and only Brandon, Stef, and Lena are sat at the table.
"Hey, uh where are the others?" I ask sitting down.
"Callie went to see a friend, Mariana's with Mat, and Jude and Jesus have gone to the mall," Brandon says. "You look like hell." He says.
"Brandon!" Lena exclaims.
"Oh, uh sorry I don't mean it in a bad way, I just mean you look tired."
"It's fine, I know I do. Don't worry about it." Lena gives me a plate of waffles and syrup. I devour the entire plate in about two minutes. All that puking left me starving.
Brandon and I end up talking a little bit, I've been here two weeks and all I know about him is that he plays piano and composes. Turns out he works at the Smokehouse playing piano, he gets paid to do what he loves.
"So, you have court again today?" I didn't know he knew about me going yesterday. "Sorry, Callie told me."
"Oh, yeah I do."
"Well good luck, I hope that guy goes down for what he did. You wanna come hear some of the stuff I play? Might take your mind off of things," He asks.
"Yeah, sure." We get up and put our plates in the sink and head upstairs.
"Brandon, can we talk to you before you two go off? Gracie, give us a minute?" Stef asks.
"Yeah, okay, I'll wait upstairs." I walk out of the kitchen and decide to listen in, I know its kind of rude to eavesdrop but I'm just curious.
"Brandon, you know we trust you right?" Lena says.
"And it's important you don't break our trust, again," Stef adds.
"What is this about?" He's getting defensive.
"We just want to make sure that what happened with Callie won't happen again."
"Oh my God no, I know that. She's fourteen. It won't happen." What the hell happened?
"Okay, thank you B, you can go." I hear his footsteps get closer to me, so I quickly sneak upstairs.
"Hey," He comes into his bedroom where I'm waiting for him. He has a little nook with a keyboard and a guitar and all of his music stuff. Stacks of vinyl's and CDs are everywhere.
"This is so cool," I tell him.
"Thanks," He says as he sits at his keyboard. I lean against the little partition.
"Do you only play classical?" I look through his music books. It's a load of Beethoven and Chopin. Stuff I'd never listen to.
"Mostly, that's how I was trained, but I was in a band for a little while, I guess it was like 80s pop, but it was still pretty modern and mainstream."
"That's cool, could you show me one of those songs?"
"Sure, let's see." He rests his fingers on the keys and starts playing, he's talented. Then he starts singing, he's even good at that. It's a beautiful song.
"Woah, did you write that?" I ask
"I co-wrote with the lead singer, what did you think?" He looks at me for approval.
"It's amazing, you're so good. Do you have a CD or something?"
"I don't have any here." He gets up and looks through some drawers. "But I have this." He holds up an iPod and some headphones. "This has all our songs on it, and some other cool stuff too."
"Brandon, I can't take that."
"No really, it's cool. I have another one. Take it." He puts it in my hands.
"Thanks." This is probably the nicest thing I've ever owned.
"No problem, Gracie." He sits back down.
"Can I ask you something?" He nods. "What happened with you and Callie? That can't happen again?"
"Oh, you heard all that." He sighs. "Um, when Callie first got here, we sort of fell for each other. But that was before she was my sister, it was a long time ago and it's all over now, she's got a boyfriend and I've got a girlfriend." That's so weird, I can't imagine the two of them ever feeling that way about each other. They have such a strong family bond, all of them do.
"So, your moms were worried about that happening again? With me?" I can't help but be a little grossed out.
"Yeah, but it won't, I mean, no offense but you're my sister now and you're a lot younger than me, it's just wrong. They just wanted to make sure we were both okay. They just care about us." He smiles.
"I get it, you're not my type at all." I laugh. I take a deep breath and I decide to tell him. "I'm gay. I like girls." More and more people are starting to find out now.
"Oh, cool. Well, I'll let you in on a little secret." He starts to whisper, "I like girls too!" I burst out laughing.
"No, but for real, don't tell anyone, only Callie, Mariana and Sophia know. I'm not sure I want more people to know."
"Of course, you tell people when you're ready." I've yet to have a bad coming out experience, I hope it stays that way.
"Thanks, Brandon." I smile at him. "Can I try? The piano, I mean."
"Sure, go ahead." He gets up and I sit on the seat in front of his bulky keyboard. I start randomly pressing keys.
"Try this." He puts three fingers on three different keys, I mimic him lower down the keyboard. "There you go, now just try that in different places with your left hand. And with your right try this." He plays a short melody over a few keys, I copy him. "Now try this." He plays both hands at the same time. Now it looks complicated. I try it, but I mess up.
"Maybe this music thing's not for me, I quit violin after a month," I laugh.
"You'll get there." His phone starts ringing. "Hello, uh yeah, sure, I'm on my way." He hangs up. "Sorry Gracie, I gotta get to work, you're welcome to hang out in here if you want."
"Oh, okay sure. Have fun." He grabs his bag and leaves. I sit and try and play the little piece he showed me, I can play each hand separately but when I try and play them together it gets complicated. It's nice having something to take my mind off of the trial. I start to think about Callie and Mariana. They must be pretty mad at me for last night; I could have got them in so much trouble, Jesus too. Stef and Lena might ground them or something, but it wasn't their fault. It was mine. I remember that guy, Jason. I kissed him. I'll see him at school tomorrow. That's going to be awkward.
