Stef and I get out of the car at the doctor's office, she walks me inside and everything feels like slow motion. I'm terrified but knowing just how scared I am, makes me realize that I'm not a hopeless case. Having feelings of any kind is a good sign, even if they are bad ones. We were only sat in the waiting room for five minutes, but it feels like 5 years before I was sat in front of a doctor in his office with Stef at my side. The doctor seems nice, her name is Doctor Miller.

"So, what can I help you with today?" I assumed she would already know.

"Do you want me to talk for you?" Stef asks me quietly, I nod. "Gracie has been dealing with diagnosed anxiety and depression for most of her life, she's a ward of the state so the government pays for her anxiety medication, but she couldn't afford anti-depressants. She's been going to counseling on and off for most of her life, but she needs a little more help. Now she's living with our family the financial side of things is not her responsibility, so I guess what we need is for you to prescribe something. Is that right Gracie?" I nod again.

"Right, well I can't prescribe you anything until I know a little more about what you're feeling, could you elaborate?" She looks right at me, expecting me to talk but I can't. I look to Stef.

"She's got a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts and even attempts." She seems kind of uncomfortable, but no one can be more uncomfortable than me right now.

"Okay, would you say you feel depressed all the time?"

"Um, not all the time, just a lot. But, I guess, I usually get depressed for a reason, my old doctor said it was situational depression, but it doesn't feel like that this time, it just kind of came out of nowhere." She starts writing things down. "Well actually." She looks up at me. "I was assaulted, sexually assaulted about a month ago, I guess I haven't dealt with that. But still, things have been kind of good lately. Considering."

"Okay, I think I know where you're coming from, I'm going to put you on a low dose of Zoloft, and recommend you keep see a counselor at school or a youth center at least once a week, I want you to come back in 3 weeks and if we decide you need something stronger, or a different drug entirely, I'll see what I can do." That wasn't so bad. I already feel like things might be okay. She hands Stef the prescription form.

"Thank you, Doctor Miller," She says.

"Thank you." Stef and I pick up my prescription and go back home, I take one of the little pills and Stef lets me go back up to bed for a nap.

When I get up there, I notice something by the window. I walk over to open it and see a ladder beneath me, Rachel is climbing up.

"What the hell? You can't be here." I try to keep her out, no matter how much I want to hug her right now. If Stef finds out she's here I could get kicked out.

"It's fine." She climbs through the window almost knocking over Mariana's vanity. "I just had to make sure you were okay, how was your appointment?" She hugs me.

"It was fine, but you have to go, Rae, I'm already grounded and-" She cuts me off with a kiss, and I can't help but melt into it. It's so perfect. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs awakens me from my trance. I try to usher her back down the ladder. "Please, you have to go!" I beg her.

"You don't seem fine." She hugs me and kisses my cheek. I get all flustered and dizzy. I feel so guilty, she still doesn't know I haven't left Jason. I'm cheating on both of them.

"Thank you for caring but I don't want to get in more trouble, and I don't want you in trouble." I get breathless. "Then we'll never get to be together. "Please Rae."

"Hey, it's okay. Sit down." I have to grip my stomach as the pain starts to get bad again, I'm supposed to avoid stress.

"You need to go!" I tear up a little bit, the pain is so bad now.

"I'm not leaving you like this; do you need a doctor?" I can't answer at this point, it's agony. I collapse onto my knees.

"Gracie you in there?" I hear Mariana's voice; everyone's back from school.

"G-go, get... out... now!" I say to Rae. She doesn't move from my side, my vision blurs but I can just about make out Mariana and Callie in the doorway. Their voices muffle away, as fall face-first onto the floor. I feel smothered as they gather around me, rolling me on to my side. The only thing I can focus on is the pain, it feels like someone's stabbing me, twisting the knife. I roll back on to my front and I throw up everywhere, it's mostly blood. The girls start to scream.

Someone calls an ambulance and Lena rides with me, I'm conscious for it all but I can't see too well, and I can't respond to anyone. Every time I try to open my mouth to talk, the only sound that comes out is an intelligible moan. Doctors and nurses stick needles into me the second I get inside the hospital. I'm taken away on a gurney into a small room, another needle is stuck in my arm and almost instantly I pass out.

I wake up in the same hospital room I was in last time, this time only Lena is here instead of the whole family.

"Are you okay?" She sounds concerned for me, but also a little mad. I remember why instantly. Rachel wouldn't leave, Callie and Mariana saw her, which means everyone must have seen her. I'm for sure getting kicked out now.

"Where's Rachel?" I sit up.

"How do you feel?" If Lena wants to avoid talking about her that's fine.

"It hurts. What happened? I remember the ambulance, and then nothing."

"You have severe internal bleeding; I took you into emergency surgery to repair it and we've started you on a blood transfusion." Doctor Graves walks in. "You were very lucky, Gracie. Do you need more painkillers?" He asks I nod, and he walks back out.

"I'm gonna get some air, will you be okay?" She won't look me in the eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I watch her walk out and through the window, I can see all the others standing in the hallway talking, Mariana shifts, and when she does, I see Jason standing with them. Why is he here but Rachel's not? He sees me and pushes past everyone into my room. He hugs and kisses me.

"You scared me so much, it's hard enough not being able to talk because you're grounded but with you being sick it's even harder." He still doesn't know about Rachel. I don't know what hurts more, the ulcer or this huge pile of lies that's suffocating me.

"I'm fine," I say bluntly.

"You'd think they'd unground seeing as you can't go anywhere anyway, it would just be easier if you had your phone back."

"I know." I can't help but stare out of the window hoping Rae comes, why hasn't anyone mentioned her? Where is she? I notice Callie's not with everyone. "Where's Callie?" I ask Jason.

"I'm not sure, they didn't say anything."

"Mariana?" I call her.

"Are you alright?" She comes in, she has the same expression as Lena.

"Where's Callie?"

"Uh." She shuts the door behind her. "She's at the police station."

"What? What did she do? She was there when I went down..."

"You have to promise to stay calm," She approaches me like I might bite her head off at any minute.

"Tell me, Mariana."

"She and Rachel had a pretty bad fight," My eyes widen,

"Jason, get out." He doesn't say anything, he just leaves, closing the door behind him.

"Mom called the cops on Rachel as soon as she saw what happened and when they arrived, she told them that Callie hit her too and they had no choice but to arrest both of them. Stef's at the station waiting for her now."

"They're both there? Are they hurt? What started the fight?" Rachel's not violent, how could she hit Callie?

"Rachel's fine just a few bruises, but Callie had a pretty bad nosebleed, a cut on her cheek and she might have a broken wrist. Callie yelled at her for being in the house and said some nasty things about her mom, then Rachel retaliated, and she just swung for her, and Callie just defended herself. You shouldn't have had her in the house. Don't you remember what her dad did to you?" She folds her arms.

"The keyword there is me, he did it to me not any of you. Of course, I remember, I think of it every day. It tears me up inside. But it's not up to you to choose who I hang out with, and anyway I didn't even invite her over she just turned up in my room."

"She broke into our house. Gracie, why are you being so dumb?"

"She means a lot to me."

"She can't mean that much if you're cheating on her." Mariana closes her case. She took it too far. Ignoring how weak I've become; I get out of bed and follow her into the hall. I have to bring my IV stand with me.

"You don't get to judge me!" I shove her. "You've done worse, with your sister's boyfriend!" She told me about the time she slept with Wyatt.

"Shut up!" She shoves me back.

"Girls stop it, Gracie, go back to bed." Lena pulls me away from Mariana. "What the hell is going on?" She shouts at me. "Silent treatment? Gracie, we've welcomed you into our home, you can't treat people like that, especially family."

"I'm sorry." I break down. "My heart can't take it. No, I can't cry about this anymore." I suck it up. "I'm sorry for bringing her into the house, I'm sorry that I'm dating her, I'm sorry I'm cheating on Jason, I'm sorry that I pushed Mariana and I'm sorry I ever came into your house. I've ruined all of your lives. I'm an awful person, I know."

"No, Gracie, you're not." She takes my hand. "Look, I know you're struggling right now, but when things get tough you can't just lash out. I've had enough of you kids getting hurt or sick, my heart can't take it." She feeds my line back to me.

"Are you gonna kick me out? Send me back into the system?"

"No, Stef and I have committed to taking care of you, and being here is punishment enough anyway. You have to start trusting us."

"Is Stef mad?"

"I think she's just upset that you didn't tell her about… you know… Rachel." Finally, someone is saying her name.

"I wanted to tell you guys. I am sorry, you're right, I've been ungrateful. I am grateful though; I've never felt more at home than I have with you guys." Lena pulls me in for a hug.

"We love having you at home too. Now, you need to talk to Jason. It's not fair to him."

"I know." I touch the necklace he gave me. "I just don't want to hurt him."

"As brutal as it sounds, you should have thought of that before you got involved with her.