Mariana helps me pick out an outfit for today. When I woke up, I was struck with a wave of nerves, I didn't let myself get nervous all week and now it's hit me like a tsunami. Adoptions don't happen this quickly, it takes weeks to get officially adopted, but this was sped up. I'm glad it was though, otherwise, I might have been taken away for no reason again. I tried to study more this morning, but my hands have been shaking so much that I can barely hold the pen. In a way I kind of want this whole day to be over with. I just want to start being normal, with my family.
"What about this one?" Mariana holds up a navy-blue dress while Lena and I sit on my bed and look through some of my paperwork, we have to bring a few documents to prove my identity and everything.
"A dress? Really?"
"You have to look the part," Jude strides in. "I had to wear a suit."
"Why? Aren't I just supposed to look normal?"
"The judge has to see that you're well looked after and that your happy and confident in us," Lena says.
"But I am, shouldn't my word be enough?"
"You'd think that, but no," Lena shakes her head.
"Everything revolves around how things look these days," Callie says as she sits down next to Jude, I look to Lena.
"Is that true?" She nods. "The world is a weird place, why can't everyone trust each other? Why can't things just be as they seem?" No one says anything, I guess they were rhetorical questions. "So, what shoes do I wear with that dress?"
We sit waiting for hours in the hallway of the courthouse. The judge only offered to squeeze us in, so a long wait was expected. Everyone came to support me, AJ's sat with Callie, Emma with Jesus, Mat with Mariana and Courtney even brought her son Mason. The Quinn's are here in their Sunday best, I'm pretty sure all they're clothes are their best, though. Taylor came too. She can see my hand shaking so she grabs it to steady me.
"Hey, it's going to be okay." I smile at her. As I turn my head back, I see a familiar face in the doorway. "Isn't that Jason?" I get up and head over to him. He's wearing a suit.
"Hi, I've been standing outside for an hour, did I miss it?" He's not avoiding eye contact; not like I'm trying to.
"No, we've been waiting for a while now."
"I wanted to be here, to like... support you." He put on a suit and made the drive to the other side of the city, just to see me get adopted. I can't help but hug him.
"I'm sorry, again, for what I did. I never meant to hurt you."
"I know, it's okay. I need to-," Stef cuts him off.
"Gracie?" She's with the lawyer, Janice. "Can you come with us for a second?" She tugs me away from Jason before I get to say anything. Seeing him kind of made the nerves go away, now all I am is excited.
"Is the judge ready for us? Is this happening?" I ask Stef as we walk, but she doesn't answer. I look straight ahead and see Lena arguing with someone, something's wrong. "Is Lena okay?" Stef ignores me until we're stood with Lena and the man in the suit.
"Why hasn't this woman been searched for? We should have been notified about this. This is the second time something like this has happened with one of our adoptions." Lena yells.
"Who?"
"Gracie, I'm James Peterson, I work closely with the judge on his cases." The man holds out his hand to shake mine, but I don't do anything. "My job is to look through the cases with a fine-tooth comb and I have found some discrepancies in your paperwork."
"What does that mean?" I turn to Stef. This James Peterson guy is beating around the bush. "Just tell me what's wrong."
"There's a signature on your birth certificate where your mother's name should be," He says.
"But she died, she never got to sign anything."
"That's the problem," He says. "We can't allow you to be adopted before your mother signs away the rights."
"You're saying my mother's alive?" My hands start fidgeting. Jason comes up behind me and takes my hand with both of his. "No."
"I'm here, it's okay," He whispers.
"We don't know anything for sure yet. But we'll find out and whatever decision you make, we'll support you." Stef and Lena are trying so hard to keep me from freaking out, but honestly, Jason's hand around mine is the only thing keeping me from having a panic attack.
"There's no decision to make, I want to be adopted, now." I start to cry. This is what I mean, something terrible happens as soon as I get a glimpse of a normal life.
"We can't make it happen right now. But it will happen, okay? It's gonna be alright, sweetie." Lena hugs me, she's crying too. And Stef is fighting off tears too.
"I'm so sorry we wasted your time," James says. Then he simply walks away, as if he hasn't ruined my life. No, no it's not his fault, he's just a middleman.
Taylor, Jude, Noah, Sophia, Jason, and I all sit in my room. We were supposed to have a little party to celebrate my adoption. But no one is in the mood anymore.
"So, your dad always told you, since you were little, that your mom died in labor?" Taylor asks.
"Yeah, he said her name was Maria, and that's my middle name, but the name on my birth certificate says 'Cordelia Joan'."
"Have you ever heard that name before?" Jude says.
"I don't know. I mean it sounds a little bit familiar but just the name, I couldn't put a face to it or anything."
"Are you okay?" Sophia holds my hand as she sits next to me.
"I'm fine, just confused."
"Have you googled her?" She asks, I honestly don't know why we thought of that before. I pull out the laptop Sophia gave me from under my bed. I search for 'Cordelia Joan'.
"There are over a hundred thousand results," I tell my friends.
"There's Cordelia Joan in Delaware." Jason clicks on one of the links. "Oh, she's black, I don't think that's her."
"It's gonna take hours to go through all of these, there's got to be a quicker way to do this," Taylor takes my laptop. "What about your dad?" She asks.
"There might be some kind of record of him somewhere on here, then we can find your mom, Edward Cooper, right?" Within minutes Taylor is on an ancestry website making an account for me.
"Don't you have to pay for those?"
"I'll pay," Sophia says as she pulls out her credit card. Jason holds my hand while we sit patiently waiting for Taylor to find something. "Here, Edward Cooper, son of Emilia and Daniel Cooper." She passes it to me, there's a full family tree of my dad's family, then a branch leading off of his picture saying Maria Cooper, with a picture of my mom, or the woman I thought was my mom. I barely recognize her; I haven't seen her picture in years.
"Cordelia." Jason points to a picture beneath Maria's face. "Cordelia Joan, her daughter."
"So, Maria and Edward are my grandparents? I don't get it."
"It says she's thirty years old and living in Tijuana." Jason highlights the biography section.
"Really? Wow, that was fast." I didn't want to have to face this. No matter how much I want to be adopted, I don't know if I want to learn about a woman who abandoned me.
"Gracie, dinner's ready." Stef comes in. "Oh, I didn't realize you were all still here."
"Oh, we were just leaving, thank you for having us." Sophia grabs Jason and Taylor and pulls them away, while Jude kisses Noah goodbye.
