"You just got your driver's license, right?" I follow Jesus up to his room after dinner, shutting the door behind us.
"Yeah, why?" He sits at his desk ready to facetime Emma like he does every night. Even though she just left.
"Taylor found my mom on one of those ancestry websites. She's in Tijuana, I need you to drive me." He looks pretty shocked.
"To Tijuana? Why do you want to see her anyway? Get someone else to find her and sign the papers."
"No, I need to see her for myself and ask her why she didn't want me. Jesus, please. I need your help."
"So, ask moms." He puts his headphones in, but I yank them out.
"You know they wouldn't let me, neither would Callie or any of the others. It's only a half-hour drive." I beg him.
"Do you even know where she lives?"
"I have an address, I found one of her old school friends online and she gave it to me."
"Okay well, how do you know she'll even be in?" He keeps trying to find a way to shoot down my plan.
"Her friend told me she works from home, it won't take that long. Come on, I just need to sit down with her for like ten minutes and get her to sign the papers and leave, please."
"Well, you've clearly thought of everything," He contemplates it for a moment. "Fine, I'll take you tomorrow,"
"Yay! Thank you!" I hug him.
"But what do we tell moms?"
"I'll just tell them we're going to the mall or something, thanks again, Jesus. Don't tell the others, though."
After breakfast the next day, I stole the release forms from Lena's desk and told them Jesus was 'dragging' me to the mall with him because he wanted a girl's opinion. They seem pretty pleased that we're spending quality time together. The journey went by pretty quickly, I guess I am a tiny bit excited, mainly because I can finally see the person I came from and see if we're alike. And who knows? Maybe she'll have a good reason for abandoning me all those years ago.
The neighborhood doesn't seem so nice, it's nothing like where I live with the Fosters. We pull up outside an old beaten down apartment block.
"You want me to come in?" He asks. I just nod my head. Suddenly I'm frozen with anxiety. "It'll be okay, she made you, she can't be anything like this neighborhood. Come on." Jesus comes to the passenger side door and gently pulls me out of my seat. He guides me to the entrance of the building. She lives on the first floor, apartment three. Jesus knocks on the door for me. And almost instantly it swings open, there's a chubby man with stains all over his white vest standing in front of us.
"Oh, hi, um does Cordelia Joan live here?" Jesus speaks for me.
"You mean Dee?" He says with a mouth full of hoagie. "She doesn't live here anymore." He starts to slam the door, but I block it with my foot.
"Well, where does she live?" I yell at him.
"Gracie, calm down." Jesus tries to drag me away.
"Lock up, prostitution and drugs." He slams the door again and this time I let him.
"Gracie," Jesus tries to comfort me.
"Whatever, we shouldn't have come anyway. I have to get back and study," I brush him off.
I didn't talk to Jesus the whole way home. He tried talked to me though, he told me that it's not my fault she ended up that way. At first, I thought it was, but it was her parents, my grandparents. They must have done something to drive her into that lifestyle. I've been debating whether or not I should visit her prison. I wouldn't have to tell Stef or Lena, but I can't steal the forms again, it's too risky. Do I really want to see her? She gave me up to be a whore and do drugs on the streets. I don't want anything to do with someone like that, I've had enough crap in my life. I feel like that's all I or anyone ever says about me, I've been through a lot, that's the typical way to describe me.
I've been studying and trying to keep my head down all week now, I did my test yesterday and I think I did pretty good, we'll get our grade on Monday. I hope I've passed because then I'll be at the same level as my class and I can get extra credit. I'll be an ideal student, like Mariana. Taylor is over our house to help me out, Jude's with Noah and he has been a lot lately, so he doesn't get a chance to tutor me much anymore. While we're studying, we start to hear Stef and Lena talking out in the hall, they're talking about Cordelia. They've found out she's in prison. They'd been talking about tracking her down, looks like they finally did it. They don't come in to tell me though, probably because Taylor's here.
"Don't worry about that, just focus on yourself," She says. "You're more important than she is." She smiles at me, she and I have been becoming closer and closer lately, it's nice having a girl my age around the house. I've told her all about the trip to Tijuana. I've told her everything about myself, even the dark stuff.
"Thanks, Taylor."
I see her out and the second I close the front door, Stef and Lena call me into the kitchen. I have to pretend I didn't know about her being in prison. I walk into the kitchen ready to lie to their faces, but Jesus is sat at the table with them too.
"Uh, is everything okay?" I sit opposite him.
"Sorry Gracie, they got it out of me." He says.
"You can go now Jesus," Stef dismisses him. "Sit down, Gracie."
"So, you know about Tijuana? I'm sorry I was desperate. Am I grounded?"
"No, you're not grounded," Lena says. "But you and Jesus are on trash and dish duty all week."
"That's fair."
"So, obviously you know your birth mom is in prison, and Jesus said you still want us to adopt you, right?" I nod. "Janice contacted Cordelia's officer to try and get her to sign the papers and she won't do it unless she sees you, she wants to hear it from you."
"I have to see her if I want you guys to adopt me?"
"We can keep trying to get her to sign them without you being involved, but it's going to drag the process out even longer, and Janice has managed to get us a private slot with the judge on Tuesday, and if we don't take it, we'll have to wait another couple of months." Stef takes my hand to comfort me. I take a breath.
"Okay, I'll see her." I can take a little more drama if it means I can get adopted.
"You sure?"
"Yes, I just want to be a real part of the family." I smile at them.
The nerves build up again, I have to see her tomorrow. My mom the junkie whore. I probably get my bad luck from her.
