Mom makes me sit down in the kitchen with Anita, Callie, and Rita while she explains everything to mama. No one cares that I don't have a clue what's going on. I know it's about my birth dad, it couldn't be anything else. Stef and Lena come back, looking more upset than before.
"I'm sorry Gracie, there's nothing I can do," Stef says.
"About what? What's going on?" They're taking me away again; this isn't supposed to happen. I'm adopted now. I'm supposed to be safe. I get up and walk to Stef and Lena.
"It's okay." Callie takes my hand.
"It's not okay, tell me what's happening," I say to Anita.
"Your father has good lawyers; he's fighting to get you back."
"Get me back? He never had me to begin with. He's not my father, and he can't do that, his name wasn't on my birth certificate, I'm adopted now, Stef and Lena are my parents!" I yell at her.
"I promise you'll be safe with me," Rita says. She does seem genuinely upset for me, but she doesn't know what I'm feeling right now.
"Safe? With a stranger? In a house full of kids who don't know me? Why can't any of you see that the safest place for me is with my family?" I get behind my mothers. "Please don't let her take me away from you!" I beg them.
"I'm so sorry sweetie, we're going to fix this a quickly as we can." Mom holds my hands.
"We have to go now, Rita has other girls to be taking care of," Anita says. "You should pack a bag."
"No, I'm not going anywhere!" The front door opens, the others must be back, I run out to them and go straight into Mariana's arms. "They're all crazy, they're trying to take me away again."
"Hey, calm down Gracie, what's happening?" We go back into the kitchen.
"Rita?" Jude says. They all know her well. But it doesn't change the fact that she's not my parent, Stef and Lena are.
"Mariana, Callie, take Gracie upstairs."
"I'm not packing a bag because I'm staying right here," I say as Callie and Mariana escort me back up to my room. Mariana tries to figure out what's happening as Callie starts putting my clothes into a bag, I start grabbing my things from her and putting them back in the drawers.
"Gracie, it's only going to be worse if you don't cooperate."
"I haven't even met him, why does he think he can just move me around like this? He can't just take me!"
"He's not taking you; you're going to be back here in no time. It's just temporary. Rita's great, she's incredible and Girls United is not like other homes. Don't you remember me telling you about it?"
"When you talked about it, you said the whole time you were there you wished you were here. I'm not leaving." I keep snatching my clothes from her.
"Gracie." She grabs my arms. "I promise it's going to be okay. You'll do your schoolwork, you'll do your chores and you'll see moms on the weekend, then you'll be back here before you know it. I'm promising, I don't break promises." I stop fighting and sit on my bed, Mariana puts her arm around me, and I rest my head on her shoulder.
"You can't that know for sure," I say quietly as Callie continues packing my stuff.
"I do because it worked out for me. So, it will work out for you."
Callie carries my backpack and Mariana holds my hand as we go downstairs. I'm forced to say goodbye to my family. This isn't right, this shouldn't be happening. Why does it have to happen when everything's so perfect? They all tell me I'll be fine, but no one can guarantee that. Rita is allowing Callie to come in the car with me, but Stef and Lena can't. It's hardest saying goodbye to them, they're both crying. It's not even my fault yet I still make them cry.
"The girls are really friendly, you'll be sharing a room with Kiara," Rita says as she drives the minivan with Callie and me in the back seat.
"We're really good friends, you'll like her, I promise," Callie adds, trying to make me feel comfortable. Nothing about this situation is comfortable. We pull up to the house, it's not like I thought it would be I'll admit. I expected a drab old house with paint peeling off of the walls, weeds growing over the steps and smashed windows everywhere. But it's nice, well looked after, there are even flowers growing in the front.
Rita takes my bag and escorts us into the house. "Welcome to Girls United, I'll show you to your room after you meet the girls, there are six girls who live here full time." The inside is nice too, shiny hardwood floors, freshly painted walls.
"They don't lock you in here either, they have a lot of trust," Callie says.
"Like I said to Callie on her first day here, if you violate that trust then you will be removed and probably placed in a more restrictive group home." She says it firmly like she wants to scare me. And it worked. "Girls!" She shouts. She takes me into what seems to be a living room, no TV but I wouldn't expect one. There's a woman sat in there writing on a clipboard "Michelle, this is Gracie, she's going to be staying with us for a while."
"It's nice to meet you, I'm Michelle, I'm another guardian like Rita and also a counselor." She shakes my hand.
"Hi." A bunch of other girls come piling in. As they pass me, they all look me up and down, sizing me up. I know the look; they're trying to work out if I'm a threat or someone they can threaten. The last girl walks past me and the second I see her; I know for a fact I'm not safe. Gabi, the girl who stole my mom's recipes and pictures about a year ago, she also beat the crap out me and told everyone that I did it to myself. They all sit down on the couches and armchairs. I sit down next to Callie.
"Why don't you introduce yourself and say a little something about you? Your age, where you're from, why you're here," Rita says. I look to Callie; she gives me a nod as if to reassure me.
"Um, I'm Gracie. I'm fifteen, I'm adopted, I shouldn't be here." I say quietly, then Callie starts talking.
"Now this is the part where Rita says, 'Does anyone else feel they don't belong here?' and you say-"
"Yes," They all say, and they laugh. As if it's funny that we're forced to live in a group home.
"Very funny, okay girls, go around the circle and introduce yourselves too."
"I guess I'll start, I'm Kiara, I'm fifteen, I've been in juvie four times, I'm here for gang stuff, drugs and that. I've been here for five months."
"I'm Becka, I'm sixteen, I've been here for two months."
"Becka, why do I have to keep telling you to put your feet down?" Rita interrupts her, Becka moves from her huddled position into a slightly more open, yet still hunched, one.
"Um, I'm in for selling and using drugs, and I punched a cop. I was shooting before I came here, so if I wasn't taken in, I'd probably be dead."
"I'm Carmen, I'm seventeen, I'm trying to join the army, but stuff keeps getting in the way, I've been in and out of here for like a year now, I've been to juvie a couple of times for gangs, drugs, kidnapping." These girls are criminals, my so-called father has pulled me out of a stable loving home into a house full of kids who should probably be in juvie.
"I'm Cole, I'm fifteen, I've been here a couple of months, but I'm going to an LGBT home soon, I'm here for theft and prostitution."
"Gabi, your turn," Rita says. Gaby's been staring at me this whole time; probably waiting for the moment she can get me alone.
"I'm Gabi, I've been here five months, and I'm in for home invasion, robbery, cyberbullying and most recently assault." She smirks at me.
"We have a zero-tolerance policy for violence, so if you put your hands on anyone in this house, you'll be removed no exceptions," Rita adds. Up until right now, I've never had any desire to hurt anyone, but right now I have the urge to start pounding on Gabi just like she did to me. I hate the fact that I let her get away with it all those years ago. "Why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself?"
"Well for starters, I'm not a criminal-"
"We're equals here," Kiara says.
"Well said Kiara, Gracie this is a no-judgment zone. You're here because your moms fought for a place for you, it's the safest in the area." I don't feel safe having Gabi looking like she wants to murder me.
"Okay, well, my Grandpa raised me until he killed himself when I was seven. My birth mom's in prison for drugs and other stuff and my birth father is the reason I can't be with my family right now." I contemplate telling them about being in the hospital and all that stuff, but I don't want to give Gabi any ammunition. "I guess that's it."
"Okay, girls, go to the kitchen and start on dinner. Gracie, you say goodbye to Callie and then Cole will tell you all about the rules." Callie takes my hand and we go out to the porch.
"Stef told me to give you this." She hands me my cell phone. "But you have to keep it hidden this time, even from Rita, it's for emergencies only."
"Thank you." I hug her, trying hard not to cry.
"Don't worry Gracie, we're gonna fix this, I swear." I watch her walk down the steps, I keep watching as she makes her way down the street right up until she turns a corner and I can't see her. I'm truly alone now.
