Harry and the Pirates, Chapter 06
By Technomad
Chapter Six: The Propagation of Knowledge.
While the information about the Mirror of Erised was very interesting, it did not have anything to do with Harry's current conundrum, which was: "How to get even with the Weasley twins?" Even with the help of Draco, Dudley, Hermione and Ron, Harry couldn't come up with anything. The twins were older than he was and in a different House, which made getting at them difficult.
Their own House Head was no help at all, despite his disapproval of the twins' abuse of their brother's trust. After Hermione suggested that they ask him, his response was: "A true Slytherin, Mr. Weasley, does not need to ask for help. A true Slytherin uses his own resources and cunning in a situation like this."
Ron's report of his interview with Professor Snape was discouraging, but by no means unexpected. "Very well. I think he's trying to see what we're made of. This is a test, in other words," said Hermione. Her big black eyes narrowed as she knit her thick dark eyebrows; for a second, she reminded Harry poignantly of Balalaika, when the Russian woman was dealing with a particularly knotty problem.
Dudley nudged Harry. In Russian, he muttered: "Can you imagine introducing her to Balalaika?"
Harry grinned; the thought had already occurred to him. In the same languge, he murmured back: "They'd probably team up, and be best friends!"
"What is that language?" Hermione asked irritably. "I do think it's kind of rude, using a language nobody else knows around here."
"Oh, sorry, Hermione. We both speak Russian because the woman my mum worked for for years was Russian, and we grew up around her men who were all Russians. We sort of picked the language up, as well as Thai, and some Chinese." Dudley explained, as Hermione's eyes went wide.
"Really?" At the boys' nod, her eyes went huge. "You are so lucky! I only speak English and some French! You've got to teach me those languages sometime!"
"We'll be happy to," Harry assured her, "but right now, poor Ron looks like he's about ready to burst. Have you got any ideas, Ron?"
"Well, I'm not sure about this," Ron began, uncomfortable as all their eyes turned to him, "but it occurs to me that Percy's been their victim, many a time. Maybe we could ask him for some help? He is a Gryffindor…"
"That's a good idea, Ron!" Draco patted Ron on the back. "Like Snape says, a good Slytherin uses his own resources and cunning! And Percy might well be willing to help us prank the twins!" Ron's tales of life chez Weasley had not gone unnoticed, and privately, Hermione, Harry and Dudley all felt sorry for the redheaded prefect.
OOO
When Ron approached him, Percy proved surprisingly tractable. "Of course, Ron, I don't care if you're a Slytherin, you're still my littlest brother. And I'll be happy to meet your friends." When introduced, Percy shook all their hands warmly, making Hermione blush as he bent over her hand as though to kiss it. "Come on into here," Percy invited, opening an unused classroom.
Once they were comfortably settled, Percy surprised everybody by opening his bookbag, which bulged nearly as much as Hermione's, and passing around some Chocolate Frogs. "Now, as I understand it, you youngsters want to pay my twin brothers back for pranking my youngest brother?"
At their eager nods, he smiled. Harry thought it was a very Slytherin smile, and wondered if Percy might have been happier as a Snake than a Lion. He didn't seem to like being the twins' housemate any more than Ron would have. "Well, there are a lot of possibilities, but the trouble is, the twins are good. Very good. The usual approaches wouldn't be likely to work. They've 'been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt,' to quote one of my Muggle-born housemates, and they'd spot something like what most people would pull right straight off."
All the Slytherins nodded. Percy was laying things out a step at a time, like a good teacher. Percy turned to the blackboard and wrote "Usual approaches-right straight out!" Then he turned, and asked: "And what's their greatest weakness?"
All the Slytherins thought, and Ron visibly thought hardest of all, his forehead wrinkling. "They're overconfident. They think nobody's as smart as they are."
Percy nodded approvingly. "A point to Slytherin, Ron." Writing "Overconfidence" on the board, he went on: "Now, I know the others don't know them very well, but can any of you think of other things you've noticed about them?"
Harry raised his hand. "They haven't had much to do with Muggle stuff, have they? It occurs to me that the Muggle approach might catch them in a blind spot."
Percy's eyes went very wide. "Now, that's ingenious! Five points to Slytherin!" Writing "Ignorance of Muggle methods" on the board, he continued leading the "class."
By the time they and Percy parted with mutual expressions of goodwill, Harry felt comfortable enough around the usually-reserved fifth-year prefect to ask him: "Why didn't you ever do anything back to them?"
Percy looked very pensive. "When I was little, our Mum made me promise to never, ever allow any of my little siblings to come to harm. You-Know-Who was still active, and she was terrified for our family. My uncles, Gideon and Fabian, had been killed around that time, and she never got over it. She still cries every year at the anniversary of their deaths." He grinned rather ruefully. "The promise became a conditioned reflex, and they shortly learned exactly how to drive me crazy. I can't retaliate."
"But we can!" Ron grinned at his older brother, and Percy grinned back, looking very like the twins themselves at that moment.
OOO
Back in their quarters, Hermione asked for the loan of an owl. "I've some mail to send out," she explained. When an owl appeared, she produced a letter with Muggle stamps on it, tied it to the owl's leg, and gave it a little kiss on the top of the head before turning it loose. She stared haughtily back at the people who were staring at her. "What? So I like animals. Got a problem with that?"
"Not all Slytherins do, Hermione," Marcus Flint explained. "When we've got some privacy…" he glared around at the others, who were watching…"I'll explain. Suffice it to say that not all our House mates are trustable around animals."
"There's reasons why we don't have as many pets as some Houses, Hermione," Millicent Bulstrode said softly. "Some of us…don't have the best backgrounds, and can take things out on anything that can't fight back."
"Anybody I catch doing that will wish they'd never been born," Hermione said frostily. Dudley nodded. Harry agreed with him. Anybody who tried hurting Pixie the cat would find themselves facing Roanapur-style justice! Pansy Parkinson was watching him, and for some reason, she went pale and lowered her eyes.
OOO
A few days later, at breakfast, an owl came for Hermione, dropping off a package. She smiled at the return address. "My parents weren't sure why I wanted this stuff, but they came through. I've got to say that they're pretty good parents to have."
"What is it?" Harry, Ron, Draco and Dudley all crowded around close. Hermione held up her hand.
"Later, boys. This is for our project, and the walls have ears here."
When they were safely down in Slytherin territory, with most of the castle between them and the likely location of the Weasley twins, Hermione opened her package. "Right. One bottle-capper, one hundred bottle caps, and a bottle of phenophthalein powder. Now, all I need is a six-pack of a popular brand of butterbeer, and Operation Double Trouble is a 'go.'"
OOO
Ron was walking up past the Gryffindor common room, with a six-pack of butterbeer under his arm, when he found himself surrounded by his twin older brothers.
"Well, if it isn't Ickle Ronnikins," purred one of them. Unless they wanted to allow it, nobody could really tell one of them from the other. "Enjoying life in the snake nest?"
"You probably broke our poor mother's heart, you know," the other twin chimed in. "She so wanted all her children in red-and-gold, and finding that she'd been nurturing a serpent at her bosom, so to speak, will just about crush her."
"We were going to introduce you to the old custom of stuffing someone's head down a toilet…"
"But we see that you've got just the thing to deflect our anger."
"Give us that butterbeer and we'll…"
"Leave you alone this time."
As his brothers yanked the six-pack of butterbeer away from him, Ron yelled: "Leave me alone or I'll tell Percy on you! And then you'll be in trouble!"
"Well, that compounds your offense!"
"Siding with Perfect Prefect Prat Percy…"
"Against us?" This was followed by a punch to the stomach. Ron doubled up with a groan of pain, and when he straightened, his brothers were gone, with the butterbeer. He smiled. It wasn't a very nice smile.
"It worked perfectly," he said softly to himself, before heading off to see Madame Pomfrey.
OOO
A few nights later, the whole school was en fete for Halloween. With the rest of the Slytherins, Harry, Dudley, Ron, Draco and Hermione were seated at the Slytherin table, tucking into a feast that made the normally-excellent Hogwarts food seem like what one throws to pigs. They were all seated where they could keep a sharp eye on the Gryffindor table.
"I notice that two redheads are missing," Hermione remarked, casually; anybody who didn't know her well…and nobody outside her immediate circle knew her well; she had learned that lesson very quickly in Slytherin…would think it was just idle chitchat. "Hey, Marcus! Got any idea where the Weasley twins are?"
Marcus grinned at the younger girl. Rather surprisingly, he had developed a very soft spot for her, particularly after he had caught her helping other firsties with their work when it was difficult. He had a Slytherin's passion for excellence, and had spoken scornfully of "pureblood poodles with no more brains than a bag of rocks," looking significantly at Crabbe and Goyle. "I think they're sick. Oy, Wood!" He called over to the Gryffindor table. "Mind telling us where your two-headed menace are?"
Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, looked down the table. "Hmmm. I'm not sure, Flinty. Think that you'll be able to take the next game against us if they're not about?"
"We can take you with or without those clowns! Slytherin's had the Quidditch Cup and House Cup for years, and we're not in a mood to give it up now!"
"Dream on, Flinty. Hey, Angelina…where are the twins, anyway? On detention again?"
The black girl shook her head. "No. The way I heard it, they got a bad case of the runs, and they're down in the dungeons…their last class before it hit was Potions…holding down side-by-side stalls in the boys' loo down there."
The young Slytherins looked at each other. "Operation Double Trouble is a complete success!" Harry crowed quietly.
"Wait till Balalaika hears! She'll be so proud of us! Our first independent op, with nobody helping, and we pulled it off perfectly!" Dudley and Harry exchanged discreet high-fives.
"You've got to tell us about this 'Balalaika' person," Draco commented, as Ron and Hermione both nodded vigorously. "She must be something really special, for you to speak of her so."
Just as Harry and Dudley turned to their classmates, the doors to the Great Hall banged open. Professor Quirrell, their stuttering, ineffectual Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor, came running in. Coming to a pause before the staff table, he gasped: "Troll…in the dungeons. Thought…you'd like to know." Then his eyes rolled up in his head and he fainted.
END Chapter 06
