Harry and the Pirates

Chapter 24

Alley Things Considered

When Harry, Dudley and Hermione came back, triumphantly escorting Luna, they found the adults in a fine old tizzy. It sounded a lot like they were arguing over who'd go into Knockturn Alley to retrieve them.

"A fine father you are, Arthur Weasley!" Molly was screaming. "I would think that you'd be concerned enough about that girl to go in there yourself!"

"If I do, who'll prevent our two from charging right along in with me?" Arthur had both Ginny and Ron firmly by their collars, despite their wriggling. Harry nodded; Mr. Weasley did have a good point.

Xenophilius Lovegood was visibly dithering. "Should I call the Aurors, or should I go in there myself?"

At that point, Luna piped up: "Don't worry, Daddy! I'm right here! I'd never leave you!" Xeno gave a loud shout of joy and threw himself on his daughter; they embraced, and Harry could hear muffled protestations of love and concern from both of them. He looked away; there seemed to be something in his eye. Hermione and Dudley's eyes were also suspiciously bright.

"That place really must have a bad reputation, for them to act like this," Hermione muttered. "I should look it up and see what the books say."

Both adult Weasleys leaped on Harry, Dudley and Hermione, checking to make sure they were all right. "Honest, ma'am, everything's fine! Nobody bothered us! We found Luna in a store she'd wandered into. She was talking to one of our House mates and his father."

Arthur Weasley's eyes went wide. "One of your housemates?" Then he gave them a very penetrating look. "Which one was it?"

Luna said: "His name is Draco Malfoy, Mr. Weasley. He saw me, and called his father over to see what I was doing. Mr. Malfoy was very friendly. He wanted to know if my Daddy had arranged a marriage for me yet." She looked thoughtful. "I did think that the way he looked at me was odd…"

Arthur straightened to his full height, and Molly looked very grim. "That scum," muttered Arthur. "That utter, slithering, plotting scum…" He shuddered. "To think he was trying to entice a girl your age…" He gave Luna a very intense look. "Did he do anything…bad…to you? Did he touch you, or try to get you to go somewhere with him?"

"No, Mr. Weasley. He was rather nice, I thought." Arthur relaxed slightly, although Molly still had a look in her eye that promised death and destruction to Lucius Malfoy. Xenophilus Lovegood also looked much more focussed than he had earlier, and he was fingering his wand absently.

Harry, Dudley and Hermione were all visibly puzzled, and Ron finally managed to get close to them. In a low voice, so that Luna wouldn't overhear, he muttered: "Mr. Malfoy was a prominent follower of You-Know-Who during the war. Afterward, he claimed he was enchanted…under the Imperius Curse, one of the Unforgiveable Curses. They let him off. Dad doesn't believe for a second that Mr. Malfoy was under any curse; he's sure that Mr. Malfoy was with You-Know-Who because he wanted to be."

Molly was fussing over Luna, who didn't seem to understand why the older witch was so worried. "I'm all right, Mrs. Weasley. Really. Can we go and get our books now? It looks like the line's not so long. And I do want to see Gilderoy Lockhart." Reminded, Mrs. Weasley let Luna go, and Harry smiled inwardly to see the motherly witch unobtrusively straightening her hair and doing other little things to improve her looks. Ginny was also clearly excited, and so was Hermione. Luna, on the other hand, was calmness personified.

"I'm not at all sure that this Gilderoy Lockhart's all he's cracked up to be, myself," Luna said primly. "I wrote him a letter once asking if he'd ever come across a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, and he wrote back and told me not to be such a silly little girl, and that Snorkacks don't really exist!" She sniffed, and drew closer to her father, who put his arm around his little girl's shoulder. For a second, Harry envied her; although he loved his Aunt Petunia, there were times that he'd have given anything he owned to be able to know his own parents. He thought they'd have loved Dudley.

The line at the bookstore wasn't as long as it had been, but there was still a crowd of people waiting to have their books autographed by the famous wizard. Harry and his companions joined the end of the line, after they had found the books they needed. The cashier was right up by Gilderoy Lockhart. There were still piles of Magical Me about, as well as Lockhart's other works. The children picked up copies of the ones they'd been assigned, and got into line to see the cashier.

Harry was amused to see the reactions of the witches in the line to see Lockhart. They were all aflutter, save only Luna. He turned to call Dudley's attention to the phenomenon…and saw Draco and his father strolling into the shop. Mr. Malfoy saw Mr. Lovegood and Mr. Weasley, and his eyes lit up with malicious amusement.

"Arthur, Xenophilius," he drawled, his supercilious air making Harry want to punch him a good one, "such a pleasure to see you! Never thought I'd see you in a shop!" He grinned nastily. "Are you still publishing that rag, Xenophilius, or did you get a paying job at long last?"

Xenophilius Lovegood's eyes narrowed. "Still on the loose and free, I see, Malfoy," he retorted. "No matter. Sooner or later they'll come for you. You and your sweet, sweet sister-in-law will have the most touching reunion!"

Malfoy went pale, and he pulled his wand halfway out of his fancy cane. Before he could draw it, Xeno and Arthur Weasley both had him covered, and Harry, Ron, Dudley and Hermione had drawn their own wands. For a second or two, things looked very tense.

The ruckus attracted Lockhart's attention. "Hello? Can you keep it down back there?" Then he saw Harry. "Bless my soul! If it isn't Harry Potter!" He bustled up to Harry, who shrank back against his friends. "Play along, Harry! It'll be on the front page of the Prophet tomorrow!" he hissed.

Suddenly, Lockhart found his arm grabbed and twisted behind his back by an angry Dudley Dursley. "Back off!" Dudley snarled. People were often surprised by Dudley's raw strength, and Lockhart seemed to be no exception to that rule. Startled out of their paralysis, the Weasley parents and Xenophilius Lovegood stepped forward, wands out. Lockhart shrank back.

"But…but…a picture in the Prophet would do his career ever so much good!" Lockhart said.

Luna said, all innocence: "But this is your big event, Mr. Lockhart! We wouldn't want to upstage you! We're just here to get our textbooks!" She turned to the others. "We wouldn't want to take attention away from Mr. Lockhart on his big day, would we? I'm sure all these books are available at Ulrich's Used Books, down the other end of the Alley! And a lot cheaper, too!" Harry and Dudley grinned and made as if to return their selections to the shelves.

Lockhart turned green, then pale. "No, no, no need for that! I'll just get back to my signing! But I do have an announcement to make!" At this, all eyes were on him. "Little did Harry…and his friends…know that instead of just getting my books, they'd be getting me this year! I have accepted the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts for the upcoming school year!" At this, the store rang with applause, and Harry, Dudley, Ron, Hermione and Luna were able to pick up their books without further pestering.

Afterwards, Xenophilius and Molly Weasley took Harry, Ron, Hermione and Dudley over to Fortescue's for ice cream, while Arthur Weasley escorted his daughter and Luna off to buy school supplies. Xenophilius was back in a sunny mood, asking Harry and Dudley questions about Thailand.

Molly wasn't paying much attention. When Hermione asked her what was on her mind, she said "Lucius Malfoy. That man's so devious that I think he even sleeps to further some plan or other. What could he have wanted with Luna?"

Dudley and Harry exchanged significant glances. One could not grow up in Roanapur without a thorough knowledge of the seamy side of life. Balalaika had made very sure that they knew what some men were capable of, which was one reason why they'd been taught how to escape and fight back if grabbed. While most people in Roanapur would sooner drink a drain-cleaner cocktail than deliberately sexually assault one of Balalaika's employees, there were always random crazies, and people who were new to town.

"Does he have a reputation for liking young girls, ma'am?" At Dudley's question, Hermione gasped, her eyes going huge with horror. Xenophilius paled.

Molly knew just what he meant. While she was a very respectable housewife, she was by no means ignorant of the wicked ways of the world. "No, dear. He has many nasty rumours about him, but that's one thing that's never been mentioned in them."

Hermione visibly remembered something. "Mr. Lovegood mentioned Mr. Malfoy's sister-in-law." Molly started as though she'd been poked with a pin. "Please, Mr. Lovegood, what did you mean by that?" She gave Mr. Lovegood an imploring look. "It's just that I'm new to the magical community, and I want to know all I can about it."

Xenophilius seemed to be looking off into the distance, at something only he could see. "During the war against You-Know-Who, one of the most prominent of the enemy was Bellatrix Black Lestrange. Her sister, Narcissa Black, ended up marrying Lucius Malfoy. She's the mother of young Draco. That makes Bellatrix Lucius' sister-in-law."

"After Harry, here, defeated You-Know-Who, Bellatrix and her husband, her brother-in-law, and a young man from a prominent family…and wasn't that a scandal?…got it into their heads that another boy was the Boy-Who-Lived. They were caught after attacking that family, and sentenced to life in Azkaban, the wizarding prison." Molly looked stern. "And that's enough of that subject! I hope not to hear that you're throwing his aunt's crimes into young Draco's face at that school!"

"There's no need. He provides us with endless hours of entertainment without that," Harry assured her. "Did we tell you about how we cured him of strutting around like some sort of little tin god?"

"That was Hermione's scheme, ma'am," Dudley put in. "She should be the one to tell it!"

Nothing loath, Hermione launched into an account of how the Slytherins had got together to pour satiric honors and applause over Draco Malfoy. By the time her story was over, Luna, Ginny and the adults were all howling with laughter, imagining Draco Malfoy being borne around the school in a palanquin, with his classmates all bowing and scraping, pointedly pretending to be awed by merely being in his presence.

Wiping tears from her face, Molly chuckled: "I wish we'd had you about when I went to school myself! There were a few people around who could have done with the Palanquin Treatment!"

"I'm surprised that Lucius Malfoy hasn't hired you to provide him with that sort of thing every day of his life!" Xenophilius Lovegood snickered.

END