Harry and the Pirates
Chapter 52
Lion Hunting
by Technomad
Everybody in Slytherin was indignant about what had happened. The older Slytherins, the boys in particular, had all made Luna a particular pet of theirs, and her gentle, accepting personality had made her a favorite of everybody's. Draco Malfoy said: "Anything you need help with, Potter, Dursley, you let me know! My lads and I will be happy to help!" Crabbe and Goyle both nodded. Harry believed that they were telling the truth; Luna had helped them more than once with homework. She was ahead of many of them at scholastic things, thanks to a rather lonely girlhood spent delving into her Daddy's extensive library.
Harry and Dudley appropriated a nearby dungeon room to serve as temporary headquarters, moving in some spare furniture and making it comfortable. Harry planned to rent a room from Aberforth Dumbledore, for business purposes, once their Coca-Cola distributorship was well off the ground, but this would do for the moment. Once they had things arranged, with seating and lighting and other comforts, they began operations.
"Here's the list of Gryffindors who weren't out at Hogsmeade," said Hermione. She slid a parchment onto the desk in front of Harry, who leaned closer to examine it.
"I notice that Fred and George aren't on the list," commented Ginny. "They never miss a Hogsmeade outing, not if they can possibly help it. That takes them off the list of suspects." She and Ron shared a relieved look.
"And, give them their due, they wouldn't have done anything to hurt Luna. She's a neighbor of ours, and they've known her all her life. Her mum was always good to them when she was alive." Ron pointed out. "But they likely have a fair old idea of just who might have done such a thing. They keep a close eye on events in Gryffindor, and I don't think that whoever pranked Luna would have escaped their notice."
"Good. We'll want to talk to those two. In the meantime, is Luna allowed visitors?" Harry had noticed that Dudley was getting very antsy, and he decided that a visit was in order. If for no other reason, to reassure Luna that she hadn't been forgotten up in the hospital wing.
"Madame Pomfrey says she's out of real danger. She cracked her head against the floor really badly, and it was a bit touch-and-go-ish there for a while. However, she should recover nicely, with only a little scar under her hair. Visiting hours start soon." Dudley looked at his watch. "In about fifteen minutes, as a matter of fact."
"Good. Let's adjourn to see our fallen comrade. Vperyed, tovarishchi!*" With that quote from Balalaika, Harry gathered his friends up and they trooped up through the castle to the hospital wing.
Luna was lying in an airy room, well-lit with sunlight pouring in through high Gothic windows. When her friends came in to see her, she was lying there with her eyes closed and a white bandage on her head. As they approached, she opened her big silvery-grey eyes, smiling to see who had come.
"Oh, hullo! It's so good to see you! How was Hogsmeade?" Dudley's eyes welled with tears, and he sat down beside her, taking her hand in both of his.
"Hogsmeade was very nice, Luna-moth. But we're all very worried about you. I'm feeling guilty that I wasn't around to keep an eye on you."
"Oh, Dudley, you're so sweet to worry about me! But I survived Roanapur, didn't I? I don't fear danger, and other people aren't always going to be able to protect me." Dudley blushed.
"What happened? Do you remember what happened?" asked Harry. Like most of their Housemates, he approved completely of the relationship between Dudley and Luna, but this was not the time to be canoodling, in his opinion.
"I was at the top of some stairs when I was hit with a Tarantallegra. I started to dance, and it turned out that someone had cast a spell to slick the floor, the way you did with the troll, Hermione." Hermione blushed. "I fell, and awoke here. Professor Snape saw me fall, and rushed me to the hospital wing. He helped treat me, you know. He's a Healer in his own right."
"So it wasn't an accident," Hermione said, her voice flat. The expression on her face reminded Harry uncomfortably of Balalaika, as he had seen his boss just before she unleashed Hell on some poor fool. "Do you have any ideas about who might have done it?"
"Not really. I heard giggling just before I fell, and could hear people running away as I fell." Seeing that Luna was not going to be helpful, Harry got up. Hermione put away the notebook she had produced earlier, and gave Harry a nod. Ron and Ginny both looked very grim. Dudley squeezed Luna's hands, looking utterly woebegone.
Madame Pomfrey came in. "I'm sorry, children, but visiting hours are over. Miss Lovegood needs her rest. She'll be out of here in a few days, but while she's here, she has to rest so that her magical core can heal up." The Slytherins all got up to go, and Dudley leaned over Luna to give her a kiss. She kissed him back, and when he straightened, he gave the others a look that dared them to say anything. Harry didn't think it was funny, and apparently neither did the others.
"Let's start getting this sorted out, people," said Harry. They left.
Fred and George Weasley were not stupid. When they heard that Luna Lovegood had been pranked, and that the prank had put her in the hospital wing, they knew perfectly well that they were at the top of the suspects list. They weren't surprised when a large group of Slytherins appeared, "inviting" them down to the dungeons "for a little chat."
Once they were ushered in, the twins looked around with interest. Their rivals had been busy; the room, once bare, now had the appearance of a business office. Seated behind a desk, they saw Harry Potter, with Dudley Dursley and Hermione Granger standing behind him, their arms crossed over their chests and their wands in their hands. More Slytherins, including their younger sibs, were standing or sitting around the room, all of them looking very grim.
"Have seats, boys," Harry invited. His green eyes were as hard as emerald. "We're looking into the circumstances surrounding Luna Lovegood's recent fall. It's apparently a prank, and we thought we'd talk to you."
"Look, Harry," said Fred, taking the lead as he usually did, "I know it looks bad, but this time, it wasn't us! Honest! We were in Hogsmeade, and we've witnesses to it!"
"In any case," said George, "we'd never hurt Luna! She's our neighbour! She's our little sister's best friend! Our mum would slaughter us if we harmed her! That is, if Ginny didn't get us first!"
Harry nodded, and Fred felt very relieved. The atmosphere warmed up slightly. "Oddly enough, I believe you," he said. "Don't relax completely, though. Even if you didn't do it yourselves, you're likely to have a good idea of who would have done it."
Hermione spoke up. "And we did notice you taking the lead hissing everybody who Sorted into Slytherin. We didn't appreciate that. Not one little bit."
Fred burst out: "That was just a joke! Can't you take a joke?" He looked around at the stony expressions all around him, and felt his heart sinking into his boots. Nobody at all looked amused. He began to reconsider his choice of humor.
"We didn't think it was funny," Ron said. "You scared some of our Firsties. Slytherin looks out for its own. That's why we're here in the first place. Luna's one of ours."
"I'd strongly suggest that you discourage that sort of behavior in future, boys," said Harry. He leaned forward, giving them a hard stare. "We know you two aren't prefects or anything like that, but a lot of people take their cues from you. Laying off that sort of thing will make inter-House relations smoother. We're all here and we've all got to get along with each other. Not stirring up trouble will make everybody's lives easier." The twins both nodded frantically.
"And, to get back to why we are here," Hermione said, "who do you think is a likely suspect? We want to retaliate, but we'd prefer not to set off a full-scale feud with the Gryffindors. No matter the rights or wrongs, the Headmaster and Assistant Headmistress are Old Gryffindors, and would not care to see their House come under attack."
"Well," said George, "anybody who was in Hogsmeade is off the list of suspects. But that does leave a good few people."
"All the firsties and second-years, just for starters," said Fred. "And there were a few people who didn't go for various reasons."
"Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil didn't feel well, or so they said," George mused. "But they're a bit too twitterpated to be really mean."
"We'll ask around among the firsties and second-years. Somebody knows something. If we find anything out, we'll tell you, toute suite. May we be excused?" Fred felt a wave of relief as Harry nodded, waving his dismissal. He and his twin got out of that room, and back up to Gryffindor Tower, as fast as they could. Once they were safely in their dorm room, far from Slytherins, Fred said in a low voice: "George, I think we may just have dodged a lot of trouble."
"Yeah," agreed George. "Anybody who can deal with a troll the way Harry Potter did is nobody I want to have angry at me."
Meanwhile, Harry was continuing his investigation. He sent a message, and Colin Creevey was soon standing in his office, eagerly telling the Slytherins everything he knew about who might have targeted Luna.
"Romilda Vane is always making fun of her, and so is Demelza Robins. They were both too young to go to Hogsmeade, and they were giggling together about something they'd done. They said something about "teaching that spacey Snake a lesson she won't soon forget." Harry's eyebrows went up, and he could sense his friends taking careful note. That did not sound like the girls in question were innocent.
"Right, Colin, run along. Keep quiet about this, okay? Not everybody in Gryffindor would approve of you telling us this stuff." Harry reached into a cooler he had by his side. "Oh…and here's a bottle of Coke. If people ask you where you got it, tell them you bought it from us." Colin grabbed the bottle, gave them all a beaming smile, and ran off.
Romilda Vane and Demelza Robins thought they were in the clear. They knew there had been no witnesses to their "prank" on Luna Lovegood, and they were congratulating themselves on having scored a good one on their House's traditional rivals. Then, as they walked down a lonely corridor, they found themselves facing someone they would have preferred not to meet.
Draco Malfoy stepped forward, his wand in his hand but not pointed. "Ladies?" he asked, polite and unreadable. "My Housemates and I'd like to have a little talk with you about a few things. Will you come with us, please?"
"And what if we don't?" That was Romilda; she was always the bolder of the two. "What do you think you can do to us, Snake? There's one of you and two of us!"
"Do you think that?" Draco's smile was like a Valentine wrapped around a stiletto. "Have you forgotten that I almost never go anywhere alone?" Romilda and Demelza turned, and their blood froze at the sight of Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. The two boys were almost never far from Draco's side, and all the school knew that they were his devoted followers, willing to do his bidding in nearly anything. "And there's more!" Out of the shadows stepped Dudley Dursley, with an ominous expression on his face, and Ron and Ginny Weasley. Both siblings looked uncommonly grim.
"What do you want with us?" Demelza tried to sound fierce, but her voice shook. "What do you want to do with us?"
"Just talk," purred Draco. "That's all. My word of honour as a Malfoy and a Slytherin on it." That was a little reassuring; a wizard did not give his word intending to break it. Even so, though, the girls were not happy about the situation as they were politely marched down to Harry's headquarters in the dungeon.
Harry was waiting for them, with Hermione by his side. "We have reason to believe that either or both of you had a hand in the prank that sent Luna Lovegood to the hospital wing. What do you have to say to that?"
Both girls, eyes wide, stood mute. Dudley stepped forward. "This is a waste of time, Harry! Let me deal with them! I can make them talk!" He grinned ferociously. "Draco gave his word that all he would do was talk. I, on the other hand, made no such promises!" The girls cringed from his rage.
"Easy, big fellow," said Hermione. "I'm sure that there's been an honest misunderstanding. Even if they did it, I don't think they meant for it to end up with Luna actually hurt." She gave the two Gryffindors a sweet smile. "Did you, now?" While her expression was all sweetness and sympathy, there was a definite edge to her voice.
"They're liars," growled Dudley. "All Gryffindors are liars!"
"Hold on, Dudley," Hermione cautioned. "We haven't let them get a word in edgeways yet, have we? Why don't you girls tell us what happened?"
Hermione seemed sympathetic, and Demelza was the first to break. "We did plan to prank Luna, but we didn't intend to put her in the hospital! Honest! That was an accident!"
Harry's eyes widened in mocking wonder. "An accident. I see. After all, making someone dance helplessly on a stair landing, and then slicking the floor she's dancing on, is such a safe, error-free prank. You couldn't have anticipated anything going wrong, now could you have?" He and Dudley exchanged winks; his manner was imitated almost exactly from the times he'd been privileged to watch Balalaika playing cat-and-mouse with some poor fool who'd thought to cheat her.
Demelza yelled: "All right! I cast the Tarantallegra! But I didn't cast the slick-floor spell! That was all her idea!" She pointed at Romilda, who gasped in horror at her betrayal. "Blame her! The whole thing was her idea!"
"Oh, don't think you can throw me to the wolves!" snarled Romilda. "That stunt was just as much your idea as mine! You're just as guilty as I am!"
Both girls shrieked in rage and made as if to jump on each other, but Harry raised a hand and Ron cast "Petrificus Totalus!" The girls froze in place, their eyes wide with shock. At Harry's languid signal, the counterspell was cast and both girls subsided, panting, their eyes wide with fear.
Harry leaned forward. In a low, intense voice, he said "I do not care why you do not like Luna. I don't know anybody at all who's everybody's cup of tea. If you don't like her, and don't wish for her company, then leave her alone. Otherwise, you'll have all of Slytherin House to deal with. Got me?" Both girls nodded frantically.
Hermione said: "I think, in your shoes, that I'd go confess to Snape that you were the ones who hurt Luna. He'll put you in detention for a while, but if that happens, we'll figure that the incident is closed."
"Otherwise," commented Draco, "we might make making you miserable an ongoing project. There's a whole Houseful of us, and a lot of us specialize in sneaky, nasty revenges. Your lives would be a burden to you if we did that. Don't you think that letting Snape punish you would be better? He has limits he has to operate in."
Harry smiled evilly. "We don't." He gestured, and a path to the door opened up through the Slytherins. Both girls scrambled to get away.
Once they were gone, the atmosphere became more relaxed. "Man, you and Hermione do that good-cop, bad-cop routine perfectly!" Harry told Dudley. "Chief Watsup in Roanapur had better worry that you might take his job away!"
"Not me!" snorted Dudley. "I intend to work for a living!"
Some days later, in the Staff Common Room, Professor McGonagall turned to the Potions Master and asked: "Why do you have Miss Robins and Miss Vane doing a month's detentions in the dungeons, cleaning cauldrons, Severus?"
Snape sipped his tea. "As it happens, they came to me and confessed voluntarily that they were the ones who put Miss Lovegood in the hospital wing. Apparently it was a rather ill-thought-out prank. I think that a month chipping gunk out of cauldrons will teach them not to do such things. Magic is dangerous enough without idiotic practical jokes."
"I should say so!" McGonagall huffed. Her eyes narrowed and she gave Snape a suspicious stare. "Did you find out about this through your own investigations?"
"No, I did not," Snape replied rather smugly. "Some of my Serpents were offended by Miss Lovegood being injured, so they put their own investigation together and pieced together what had happened. I must say, they did a very efficient job. I am very pleased with them."
"You mean to tell me that your House went into action on its own, to protect and avenge one of its own?" McGonagall could hardly believe her ears. "That sounds a little uncharacteristic, if you'll pardon me saying so!"
"We Slytherins are aware that many others outside our House are prejudiced against us. I have long preached intra-House solidarity, and I am delighted to see that my teachings are finally being heeded."
*"Forward, comrades!"
END Chapter 52
