Harry and the Pirates

Chapter Fifty-Three

Lifestyle Changes

by Technomad

Demelza and Romilda had thought that their detention with Snape was the extent of their punishment. They were wrong. One evening, as they stumbled, exhausted, back into the Gryffindor common room, they found themselves facing all three of the Weasley brothers. For once, Percy Weasley was clearly in accord with his fun-loving twin brothers. None of them looked particularly pleased. Looking from one grim face to another, the girls' blood ran cold.

"Good evening, my friends," said Percy. His voice was calm and his manner was mild, but there was something there that set alarm bells shrilling in the girls' minds. "Do please have a seat. We want to have a little talk with you."

"It appears that you played a prank on Luna Lovegood." That was one of the twins. Neither Romilda or Demelza was sure which one. They liked to keep people confused about that.

"You could have hurt her badly," said the other twin.

"This may not matter to you-"

"But Luna's a friend of our little sister's."

"We were very lucky-"

"That we had an alibi for that time."

"If Ginny had thought we had done it-"

"She'd probably have murdered us both-"

"If our mother didn't do it first."

"I've also had talks with some of the people from the other Houses. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw." That was Percy. He had let the twins take the lead, but now he stepped on in. "They were not at all amused by what you did. You could have hurt Luna badly, or even, Merlin forbid, killed her." Percy's eyes were cold, and his voice was as impersonal as a mechanical device. "The Hufflepuffs said 'if they can do that sort of thing to one of the most harmless people in this school, just on account of which House they were Sorted into, what might they do to us?' They have a good point."

"Pranks are great fun-"

"As both of us know fully well."

"But we keep our own pranks-"

"Well short of the point where they could be lethal."

"If for no other reason-"

"Than that we don't want to go to Azkaban."

"There's also always the possibility-"

"That an inadvertent killing could set off a blood feud."

Percy stood up, looming over the girls. In a soft, gentle voice, he said: "Listen very carefully, for I shall say this only once. Pranks are one thing, but if I ever hear of you two pulling another stunt that could really hurt or kill anybody, I'll Take Steps against you."

Plucking up her courage, Romilda sneered: "Oh, yeah? What'll you do? Kill us? They'd put you in Azkaban for that, remember?"

Percy showed his teeth in what nobody sane would have called a smile. "Kill you? Why would I do that?" As the girls relaxed, he went on: "Corpses don't suffer, now do they?" Romilda and Demelza grabbed for each other, holding on for comfort, as he purred: "I'd just turn my dear twin brothers loose on you, and tell them to really go to town!"

The twins' eyes went wide. "Would you do that, Percy? Would you really let us off the leash?"

"Of course. As long as it wasn't fatal or permanently injurious, you could do exactly what you pleased. I'd be happy to encourage you, or provide cover as needed." The twins' eyes went wide at this possibility. Previously, they had always had to work against Percy, or avoid him. Having Percy on their side would open up new opportunities.

"Think of Luna as an honorary Weasley."

"Our Mum did a lot to help raise her-"

"After her Mum died."

"She's our baby sister's best friend-"

"And even without complications with the Snakes-"

"We'll take harm to, or mistreatment of her-"

"As though it were inflicted on a Weasley."

Percy smiled broadly. "There, now, Fred and George. I'm sure they understand. And they'll spread the word: Hands Off Luna Lovegood-and, while we're at it, all the Snakes. Won't they?" Demelza and Romilda both nodded frantically. When Percy gestured their dismissal, they both ran for the safety of the Gryffindor girls' dorms.

The girls' accounts of what had happened to them, and why, lost nothing in the telling. By the time word had been spread, all of the Gryffindors knew that a new day had dawned. Pranking other Houses was still allowed, but the Slytherins, in particular, were to be treated with great caution. And Luna Lovegood was out of bounds for pranking, no matter how inviting a target she seemed to present.

Meanwhile, unaware of the byplay among the Gryffindors, Harry and Dudley worked out the details of their Coke distributorship. When they got in to see him, Professor Dumbledore was startled by their request.

"A soft drink distributorship? Here, at Hogwarts? And here I thought I'd seen every possible variation of student behavior." The headmaster's eyes twinkled as he gazed at them benignly. "I must say, you two are quite enterprising."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry. "We're going to set up a separate bank account at Gringotts' in the name of PD Enterprises. That's for 'Potter-Dursley.' The goblins were pretty good about extending credit, based on my vault account, but we'll want to get this on its own feet as soon as we can. I'll want to talk to Madam Rosmerta, and Mr. Dumbledore at the Hogs' Head, to get them to stock Coca-Cola. The way this is set up, they'll have to buy from us."

"Indeed?" Dumbledore's eyes went wide. Harry wondered if mentioning his brother to him had been a mistake. "How about Diagon Alley, and Knockturn Alley? They have places that sell refreshment, and they might find carrying 'Coca-Cola' profitable."

"We've owled the Leaky Cauldron, sir," explained Dudley. "We haven't had a chance to get in touch with Florian Fortescue yet, but we plan to do so the next time we're in London."

"We're not sure what there is down Knockturn Alley, sir," said Harry. "We were only there once, and then we were mainly concentrating on looking for Luna. Miss Lovegood. We'll talk to some of our House mates who're more familiar with that place. Professor Snape may also know what's down there, and who to talk to."

"An excellent plan. Well, young gentlemen, you have my permission to go ahead with this. Please talk to the support staff about offering your drink as an alternative to butterbeer in the Great Hall." Harry and Dudley could tell that they'd been dismissed. They got up to go, and as they turned, Dumbledore added: "I heard all about your measures to protect Miss Lovegood after her unfortunate encounter. I am very pleased with you, both with your efficiency and your moderate response. Had you harmed Miss Robins and Miss Vane, I would have had to take steps against you. As things stand, I have awarded twenty-five points to Slytherin for House solidarity and clear thinking."

"Thank you, sir!"

Meanwhile, classes went on. Professor Lupin covered a lot of ground in Defence, making up for the wasted two years under "the Squirrel and the Ponce," as Professors Quirrel and Lockhart were now known. The news that Quirrel had recovered, but would not be returning to teaching, brought subdued rejoicing across the school from those who'd studied under him. And nobody at all felt very sorry for Lockhart.

The presence of the Dementors around the school led to some problems. Several times, there were reports of the creatures intruding on school grounds, which they were supposed to be firmly forbidden to ever do. One day after Defence class, Harry and Dudley approached their teacher. "Please, sir, isn't there some way we can defend ourselves against those awful phantoms?" asked Dudley.

"You did say that you'd teach me about the Patronus Charm. Dudley would like to learn, and so would the rest of us in the Duelling Association." The Duelling Association had reformed once school began, and had had regular practice, but had not yet scheduled a tournament. With Lockhart gone, the teams had dropped the names of the teachers that had originally sponsored them, becoming "Gladiators" and "Furies." They were now coached by Flitwick and Snape, who took turns teaching both teams what they knew. As a special treat, they were sometimes given advanced coaching by the young Auror whom they had had as a judge at last year's tournaments. "Tonks," as she preferred to be called, was a good coach, and many of the girls had expressed interest in becoming Aurors after interacting with her.

Lupin looked thoughtful. "I see. I did promise, didn't I?" He cogitated for a few minutes. "Let me work on this. The Patronus is difficult to cast without a real Dementor, but I believe exposing you youngsters to those creatures would get me in trouble with the Ministry."

"Thank you, sir. We'll get a list of the times when the DA is practicing, and once you've got what you need, we can set it up for all of us to take turns."

"It's no problem, Mr. Dursley. And ten points to Slytherin for taking an interest in my subject." Dudley smiled. He loved getting points for Slytherin, and counted each one as greedily as though it had been a golden Galleon.

One evening, Ginny Weasley came into the Slytherin common-room with a large black dog in tow. "Look at what I found, everyone!" Everybody looked up, rather startled. Pixie, Dudley's cat, took one look and came wandering over fearlessly, purring loudly. The dog's tongue lolled out, and it licked Pixie.

"Pixie, get away from that dog! It might bite you!" snapped Dudley. He darted forward, scooping his pet up in his arms. "Ginny, you know we all love you, but what's got into you? What in the world do you want with that dog?"

"I met him out on the grounds. He was hungry, and I got him some food from the house elves. Isn't he adorable?" Ginny rubbed the dog behind his ears, and the dog squeezed his eyes shut with pleasure. "I want to keep him!"

"Are dogs allowed? I don't remember much mention of wizards and witches keeping dogs in Hogwarts, a History," said Hermione. Gingerly, she came over and held out her hand, palm down, for the dog to sniff. When the dog licked her hand and began to wag his tail vigorously, she smiled the gleaming smile that transformed her face from "pretty" to "true beauty." Ron had an expression on his face that looked like he'd been poleaxed.

"I don't know of any reason why they wouldn't be," said Dudley. "Why don't we ask Snape or Dumbledore about it?"

As it happened, Snape was off at some sort of potions conference, but Dumbledore was happy to help. "My, you are a handsome one!" said the headmaster, skritching the dog behind his ears. Pulling his wand, Dumbledore cast a quick spell. "And no ownership charm on you. That means that you're Ginny's, if you want to be. Do you?" The dog nodded rapidly, his tail thumping on the floor. "Very well, Miss Weasley. Unless he causes problems, you may keep him. He'll probably have to sleep in the common room, though. He's uncut, and that could cause problems with the protective spells on your dormitory."

"What do you mean-oh!" Ginny blushed as red as her hair. "Thank you, sir! I wonder what I should call him?"

"How about 'Baskerville?'" suggested Hermione, who had produced a brush and was busily brushing the dog's thick black coat. "He looks like the Hound of the Baskervilles." At the purebloods' blank looks, she explained: "It's a classic story. The Hound of the Baskervilles is a huge, impressive dog that scares everybody that sees it. I'll bring a copy along sometime. Everybody should read it."

"And why would I want to read some Muggle trash?" sneered Draco Malfoy. Suddenly, the dog was on his feet, growling menacingly and eyeing Draco up as though he were made of dog food. Draco paled, drawing his wand. Ginny and Hermione both drew theirs, and Ron and Harry moved so that they could easily reach their wands.

"First off, Draco," Harry said, "'Muggle trash' often has important things to tell us. You really should read some Muggle literature sometime."

"If for no other reason, because we magical folk are outnumbered greatly by the Muggles you so despise," Hermione snarled through a smile. "Several thousand to one, at least. Learning about them and their ways might just be a good idea."

"One of these days, Draco, overconfidence is going to be your downfall," Harry said. "There's a dueling tournament coming up shortly. Keep in mind that if you waltz in with the attitude that you're bound to win because of your 'superior' pure blood, your opponent might just wipe the walls with you."

"And on that note," Ron said, "I think it's time we all went to bed. And, Draco…" he leaned forward, staring into Draco's eyes, "I should say that if aught untoward happens to my sister's new pet, my brothers and I will hold you directly responsible. Even if you have an alibi. Got me?" Draco nodded hard. "Good. Then let's off to bed. We can't outdo the other Houses if we're sleep-deprived."