Harry and the Pirates, Chapter 60

It Shall Return, Tenfold

by Technomad

Not long after New Year's Day, it was time to go back to school. Harry, Dudley and Hermione all had shopping to do at Diagon Alley, so they led the senior Grangers through the Leaky Cauldron pub and into the Alley.

The post-Christmas sales were in full swing, and Harry and Dudley exchanged winks when they saw Hermione's eyes go wide with greed as she looked at the signs in Flourish and Botts' windows. "Er, boys, could you excuse me?" she asked, artlessly. "Mum, Dad…would you like to come along?"

Her parents nodded indulgently. "Of course, darling," her father said. "I think Harry and Dudley can look out for themselves, don't you, dear?" Appealed to, Hermione's mother chimed in agreement. Hermione grabbed her parents by the hand and all but dragged them into the bookstore.

"Never change, Hermione," Dudley muttered. Harry grinned at his cousin, knowing just what he was thinking. There were some things that were eternal verities, and Hermione's love of books and knowledge was one of them. Not that either of them would have changed their friend if they could have. Hermione had read several books on starting and running businesses over the holidays, and had some excellent ideas for PD Enterprises' organization and future expansion.

"You two value money; I value knowledge," she had said, when they gently teased her about her habits. "Unlike what you two value, I can give away my treasure to my friends, again and again, and I still have it all! And nobody can steal it from me!" Harry and Dudley had exchanged glances, and nodded, conceding Hermione's point.

"That's why we want you as part of our organization, Hermione," Harry told her. She gave him a brilliant smile. "And don't knock money! With money, one can do many things. Like buy more books. And travel and find out new things! You learned a lot in Roanapur, didn't you?"

"Yes, and I want to go back!" Hermione's expression reminded Harry, and, he was sure, Dudley, of Balalaika. Their mentor and employer had gained a real admirer, it seemed.

Just then, Harry's reminiscing was broken in on by a familiar voice. "Harry! Dudley! How was your hols?" The two cousins turned with smiles to greet Ron, Ginny, Fred, George and Percy. As usual, Percy was standing a little way away from the rest of his boisterous relatives, and Harry made sure to give his greeting to the eldest Weasley a bit of extra warmth. He tried to imagine being odd-man-out in his family, and shivered at the thought. No matter what, as far back as he could remember, he had known that Aunt Petunia loved him and Dudley equally.

"We had a wonderful time! The Grangers were very nice to us! Maybe someday you can visit!" At this, Ron's face turned bright red.

"Er, mate, I think Mum would do her nut if I did that, at least right now. Maybe when we're all a little older?" Harry suddenly understood. Mrs. Weasley is afraid that if they weren't supervised, Hermione and Ron would…? Rather to his surprise, he found that the idea was not as alien as he'd have once thought.

Ron and Hermione were very different people, but that didn't make them unsuited for each other. Ron's laid-back ways contrasted interestingly with Hermione's intensity, and he could often get her to cool off when she was in danger of becoming too wound up. Meanwhile, Hermione could get Ron to study when almost nobody else could. Between Hermione's appetite for facts, and Ron's intimate knowledge of the magical world, they covered each other's weak points admirably.

They disagreed often, sometimes acrimoniously, but that was to be expected, in Harry's view. They couldn't have come from more different backgrounds while still both growing up in Britain. Things that were fundamental to Hermione's worldview were alien to Ron, and vice-versa. For them not to argue would have been a major miracle. Harry could sympathize; growing up in Asia as he and Dudley had, they often felt a little like outsiders, no matter how welcome they were made. In Thailand, they were, and would always be, farang - foreigners. But in Britain, birthplace or no birthplace, they felt alien and not quite at home.

"So, what else did you two do?" Dudley asked. Ron grinned, and pulled Harry and Dudley close.

"We went 'round the shops here in Diagon Alley, and got quite a few of them to sign up for regular shipments of Coke from PD Enterprises!" Ron looked as proud as a peacock. Harry's eyes went wide, and when he glanced at Dudley, he saw that his cousin was also suddenly very interested indeed.

"Come on over to Florian Fortescue's. Our treat. Bring the receipts and agreements. We want to look them over." Percy spotted a girl he knew and excused himself, and the twins went off on some mysterious errand of their own, which left Ron and Ginny with Harry and Dudley. Once they were all settled into a nice private booth at the ice cream parlor, with a big sundae apiece, Harry and Dudley went through the paperwork that the two youngest Weasleys gave them.

As he paged through, adding up sums on a pocket abacus that had been a present from Balalaika on his tenth birthday, Harry felt his eyes going wider and wider. Ron and Ginny had, indeed, been hard at work! When he looked at the total sum of the money they had made, Harry whistled softly. "You two have a real future with us! It's like you were born to sell!"

"Aw, it wasn't that hard!" Ron went pink with embarrassment, while Ginny smiled and scooped in a spoonful of gooey chocolatey sundae. "All it took was letting the shopkeepers have a taste, and telling them they could sell it if they went through you, and they were falling all over themselves to sign on up!"

"Balalaika does say that having a good product and finding willing customers is all that it takes to have a successful business," Dudley remarked. "I wonder what she'd say about this?"

"Let's keep it a secret from her till we're back in Thailand. I want to see the expression on her face. And Aunt Petunia's, too!"

"Mum does say that women love a man who's a good provider." Just then, they were joined by Luna Lovegood, who pulled up a chair next to Dudley. "And, speak of the Devil…how were your hols, Luna?"

"Oh, they were lovely! Daddy and I went to Sweden, but couldn't find the Crumple-Horned Snorkack! I had a wonderful time, though. They have these things called 'saunas' that are very refreshing. Look, I took some pictures!" Luna pulled out a packet of photographs. Harry looked at the top one, and his eyes went wide.

"Whoa! They're all naked!" At this, Dudley, Ron and Ginny all scrambled to take a look. "I didn't know they had mixed saunas in Sweden!" Most of Luna's pictures were of Swedish scenery, or animals they had seen, but she had apparently managed to get a camera into a sauna, and had not wasted the opportunity.

"So they do…" Ginny's voice was abstracted as she leafed through the photographs. "Luna, would you mind showing these to the other girls in our dorm when you get back to Hogwarts? Some of them might like to see these!" She gave Harry a wink. "They'd be interested to learn more about life in Sweden, and Swedish culture."

"Oh, I will." Luna gave them all a beaming smile. "Maybe we can set up a sauna at Hogwarts?" Ginny nodded absently, her attention fixed on the pictures.

"You naughty girl, you," Dudley said, his tone gentle and teasing. "How could you be so shameless as to go to a mixed sauna?"

"Why ever should I be ashamed?" Luna asked, her big silvery eyes wide and her face a picture of innocence. "We're all naked under our clothes, after all. And I go swimming in the pond near our home without clothes every summer. Don't I, Ginny?"

Ginny blushed bright red. "Not in front of the guys, Luna!" Harry noticed that Ron was also looking uncomfortable at this thought. Then he pictured Luna and Ginny disporting in a quiet pond au naturel, and decided he quite liked that thought. He could see that Dudley was also in favor of that idea.

Once she had reclaimed her pictures, Luna looked around at the others. "So, tell me about your holidays. I know you and Ron stayed at the Burrow, Ginny, but what did you do, Dudley…and Harry?"

Harry took the lead in answering: "We spent the holidays with Hermione and her parents and older sister. We got to meet her Aunt Geraldine, who's a vicar in a nearby village. It was fun." This caught the interest of both Weasleys; raised in the reclusive magical community, they had no idea of what a Muggle-style British Christmas would be like.

"Hermione has an older sister?" Ginny was intrigued. "What is she like?"

"Her name is Helen, and she goes to an all-girls' boarding school called St. Trinian's. St. Trinian's is as unique in its own way as Hogwarts is." Dudley explained. "Let's just say that Helen and her schoolmates would have very little problem fitting in in Roanapur. As a matter of fact, when she found out that we'd made contact with them, Balalaika wrote us and told us that any of Helen's schoolmates who're looking for work after leaving school, or want to take a 'gap year' would be welcome in Roanapur, and she's sure that places could be found for them there, either with Bougainvillea Traders or some of the other fine companies that make our hometown their headquarters." Ron and Ginny's eyes went very wide. They had heard more than enough about Roanapur and Balalaika's business to be able to read between the lines, while an eavesdropper would have heard nothing that wasn't perfectly proper.

Luna looked reminiscent. "I liked Miss Balalaika. She and I had some of the most interesting talks. She did say that she'd be very unhappy with me if I did anything to hurt you two," she said, nodding to Harry and Dudley.

"She was quite impressed with you, too, sweetie. Particularly the way you handled those twin assassins." Dudley was interrupted by squawks from Ginny and Ron.

Ginny found her voice first. "Assassins? What do you mean, assassins?"

"Oh, yes," Luna said, completely unperturbed as always. "There were these two children, no older than we are, a brother and sister, who were shooting up Roanapur. It turned out that it was a ploy to get Miss Balalaika, apparently sponsored by the local branch of the Italian Mob. They captured me, but I managed to turn the tables on them."

The Weasleys were gaping rather like hooked fish. Harry remembered that when they'd returned to Hogwarts, he and his cousin had agreed that telling uncensored tales of what they did on the summer hols was not a good idea. Their friends knew they lived in Roanapur, and that Roanapur was not a safe place sometimes, but things like the attempt to assassinate Balalaika were not matters they discussed openly, much. If they had to talk about it directly, they would slide into Russian; only Hermione of their Housemates could speak that language, and by that time, most of Slytherin was used to hearing them speaking it. And she had been to Roanapur herself, so she was not unaware of the town's dangers.

Dudley gathered Luna close, as she snuggled in happily. "Well, as you've now found out, these two maniacs were shooting up half of Roanapur, and we happened across them one evening. We were trying to get away, but Luna tripped and they caught her. They were using her as a hostage to get close to Balalaika, but clever Luna got her wand loose and paralyzed them, then tied them up before they knew what had hit them!" He gave Luna a squeeze. "Serves them right for underestimating a Slytherin!"

"Oh, it wasn't hard," Luna said, as calmly as though they were discussing the weather. "They didn't know a thing about magic or magical folk, so they didn't think to search me or take my wand. And I did kind of let on that I was woozier than I was. They took my act at face value, and I was able to catch them off guard when they were talking to Balalaika. I could also see Harry and Dudley, hiding in the bushes nearby, so I knew I was in no real danger."

"Well, we're all glad you're all right!" Ginny enfolded Luna in a hug, which was returned. Then Luna turned to Dudley, hugging him, too. Dudley hugged her back, as Ginny grabbed the opportunity to hug Harry. Harry hugged her back, noticing how nice she was to hug. He decided that Dudley and Luna were on to something.

Just then, a familiar voice interrupted them. "Oh, look! Mudbloods, half-bloods and blood traitors, all having a nice little love fest! How...charming!"" They let go of each other, turning to find themselves facing none other than Draco Malfoy. The blond boy's ever-present sidekicks were standing just behind him.

Inwardly, Harry rolled his eyes. That swine's been marinading in his father's poisonous opinions all through the hols, and all our weary work of trying to make him a human being's all to do again! he groaned to himself. He kept his thoughts to himself, saying: "Hullo, Draco! How was Christmas? Get any good pressies?"

"I bet he got enough coal to open up a mine!" Dudley was less patient with Draco's more asinine behavior than his cousin was, and did not take well to adverse comments about Luna. Luna put her hand on his arm, and he calmed down, but the looks he was giving Draco would have had the blond boy going up in flames, if things had been different.

Draco flushed. "No, I didn't get any coal. My mother took me to Paris. We visited relatives of ours, and had a lovely time. Where did you go?" From his tone of voice, he expected the answer to be something like "Oh, we went swimming in the sewer!"

"Dudley and I went to Hermione's place over the hols, and Ron and Ginny went back to their home. We all had very nice times." Hearing that, Draco went into sneer-critical.

"How very…quaint. I do hope you'll excuse me, but I think I see my mother looking for me." As Draco left, Crabbe and Goyle gave Harry and his friends apologetic looks, before resignedly trudging off after their leader.

"Yeesh," Dudley said, softly enough that only their table could hear. "That kid's attitude is going to get his arse kicked from here to the moon one of these days!" He and Harry exchanged glances. Harry knew quite a few people in Roanapur that would have taken great pleasure in shooting anybody who was one-tenth as rude and condescending as Draco had just been.

Hermione showed up, her face pink with the cold and carrying a big bag with Flourish and Botts' logo on it, bulging with books. "Oh, hi, Hermione! You just missed Draco!" Privately, Harry was just as glad she had. Draco had been spoiling for a fight, and Hermione had never backed down from him in all the years of their mutual acquaintance. While Harry was not averse to a fight, he didn't think this was the time or the place. Slytherin's rule, after all, was that intra-House quarrels stayed private.

"I saw him, and held off for a few minutes, till he left. We have to put up with enough of his jassack behavior at school, and I'm damned if I want to listen to his ranting right now. Are those sundaes I see?" Hermione was a bookworm, but she was also a growing teenage girl with a healthy, normal appetite. Harry nodded to the waiter, and soon Hermione was tucking into a gooey concoction of chocolate ice cream, chocolate syrup and chocolate chips, a blissful expression on her face. Harry and Dudley winked at each other. One thing all their female schoolmates shared was a serious tropism for chocolate. They had both lamented that they couldn't have got themselves in the position of being sole suppliers to Great Britain; the riches they would have made would have boggled the goblins' imaginations!

Once Hermione had fed her chocolate addiction, she gave the rest of their friends a bright smile. "Hi, Ron, Ginny, and Luna! How were your hols?"

Ginny's eyes twinkled. "Luna got to go to Sweden! She took some of the most interesting pictures there! She really got into Swedish culture!"

Hermione's eyes went wide. "Really? May I see?" Luna passed her the photos, and Hermione goggled, blushing bright red. "Oh…I see. My, these are interesting! You really are a journalist at heart, aren't you, Luna! You did do in-depth research!" Ginny giggled, and Luna looked very innocent, while Ron blushed and looked rather uncomfortable. Harry cleared his throat significantly, and Hermione looked up guiltily, passing the photos back to Luna. "When we're back at school, Luna, I'll want to study those in detail."

"Of course you will, Hermione," Luna answered. "I'll probably end up having to share them with all the girls!" Ginny giggled.

Ron growled: "At least that way Pansy Parkinson can see a real man! Merlin knows that prancing ponce she's engaged to doesn't qualify in any important way!" Draco's behavior had clearly rankled him, and he resented it.

Hermione looked rather resigned. "So, we've got to start all over again, trying to get that tosser's head unstuck from his daddy's arse?" She sighed. In Russian, for privacy's sake, she went on: "Look, normally I'd be the last person on earth to suggest this, but would getting rid of Mr. Malfoy be feasible? I think that without him, Draco would not need to be re-re-educated every term. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm really getting very tired of him and his unfounded snobbery."

Harry thought about it. In Russian, he answered: "We'll discuss this at school, Hermione." To the others, he added, in English: "Pardon us, but what Hermione just said isn't for the ears of random eavesdroppers. We aren't trying to exclude you, but this is a public venue and is not the place to discuss some things." Everybody nodded. They all understood.

END Chapter 60