Chapter 32 - You're Joking, Right?
The last thing Misato wanted was to be roused from bed two hours after falling into it, on a Saturday night, but the insistently ringing phone refused to disintegrate no matter how hard she glared at it. With something just shy of a frustrated shout, she flopped out a hand to grab the phone and flip it open.
"What?"
If the person on the other side of the line had any sympathy for the rude awakening, it didn't come across in their voice.
"You're needed back here ASAP, Major," said Lieutenant Hyuga.
"Is it an Angel?"
"No, an incident at NERV-Nevada."
"An 'incident'?" she repeated.
"That's as best as I can describe it over the phone."
"Damnit. Fine, I'm on my way."
Misato was thankful that Asuka made sure there was a cup of her coffee machine's magic brew in the fridge. While it didn't taste quite as good after being reheated, it was still a vital pick-me-up for sudden call-ins like this. The cup slowly spun in the microwave as she threw her uniform back on, and she made it back to the kitchen just in time to stop the appliance from loudly beeping. She left the cup on the sink to cool down just a tad while she finished adjusting her clothing; the last thing she needed was to melt her tongue while driving.
At this time of night the streets were relatively quiet. However, anyone who had suffered through Misato's driving habits would have keeled over in shock at the sight of her simply speeding along instead of driving like an utter lunatic. The main gate into NERV had just finished opening by the time Misato reached it, and she returned the gate guard's wave as she continued inside. Once the Renault was locked into the car elevator, she relaxed in her seat for a minute to enjoy the coffee.
She finally reached the briefing room, twenty minutes after getting the call. Inside it was almost completely dark, lit only by the holographic projector embedded in the floor. Ritsuko was already there, as were the three bridge lieutenants.
"Good, you're here," said Ritsuko, before pointing at the screen. "Take a look."
A satellite image of the NERV base in Nevada appeared, with a timer counting down. The very second it hit zero, there was a shockwave emanating from the base followed by a circle of red. Six seconds later, the video cut out. The view changed, showing a massive crater where the base used to be.
"What the hell..." Misato breathed, the coffee turning to ash in her mouth.
"We've lost Unit-04 and the entire Nevada branch," said Makoto. "All that's left is a crater, eighty-nine kilometres wide."
Shigeru nodded darkly. "Thousands of people... gone in a few seconds."
"According to their schedule," said Maya, clearly unnerved by what was on the screen, judging by how she held the tablet in front of her face, "They were working on installing the prototype S2 Engine Germany had just sent them. There are almost thirty-three thousand potential causes, such as structural integrity problems or calculation errors."
"And then of course there's the possibility that someone sabotaged it," Misato interjected.
"True," replied Ritsuko. "Although why would somebody do that?"
Misato shrugged. "Maybe it was a disgruntled employee hoping to break things so nothing happened. Instead he ends up destroying the entire base."
"It wasn't an explosion though," said Ritsuko, pointing down at the screen where the video footage was replaying. "While there was a shockwave as we can see here, and a big chunk carved out of the landscape, it was a Dirac Sea that swallowed the branch."
"Dirac Sea?" Misato's head reared back slightly in puzzlement. "What's that?"
"...Ah, you might not have been paying attention when I mentioned the concept before. Anyway, the Twelfth Angel's true body was a Dirac Sea. You could essentially call it 'imaginary space', or a pocket dimension. After all, how could an Evangelion fit into something that's only three nanometres thick?"
"And the Nevada Branch disappeared into this Dirac Sea as well?" Misato asked, instantly suspicious. "Does that mean the Angel isn't really dead?"
"Oh no, I'm quite sure it is dead," Ritsuko clarified. "Whatever happened at Nevada simply created its own dimensional tear."
"And it collapsed immediately afterwards," Shigeru remarked. "Meaning everything in it is forever lost to us."
"Which means we no longer have the S2 Engine that was supposed to relieve us of our Evangelion power woes." Ritsuko brought up a hand to her forehead in disappointment.
"We also no longer have thousands of people either," Misato firmly reminded her.
"True," Ritsuko replied somewhat abashedly. "But that S2 Engine would have done wonders for us. Imagine being able to do away with power cables; no more five minute timers in full combat conditions when the cable is lost. Not to mention when this war is over, the S2 Engine could be repurposed for less militaristic uses and solve a lot of energy problems."
"Well for now, let's focus on the immediate future, such as the next few days. What's happening with Unit-03?"
Shigeru snorted. "America's fobbing it off onto us. Called us up practically before the dust settled, asking us to 'take it off their hands'."
Makoto raised an eyebrow. "Weren't they the ones demanding to be allowed to build Units 03 and 04?"
"Yeah, but now they're scared of both of them." Shigeru shrugged and folded his arms.
"Is Unit-03 actually complete?" asked Misato. On the one hand, having another Evangelion would be a great asset for fending off the Angels, but on the other... that would potentially mean another teenager dragged into this war. Another childhood ruined by adults that couldn't do it themselves.
"Complete enough," said Shigeru. "It's going to be airlifted to us at America's expense."
"Airlifted? That will cost a lot of money," said Maya, finally putting the tablet down as the screen shut down and the room lights came on.
"Fortunately, we're not paying it," replied Misato as she headed for the door, but stopped halfway there. "Oh, who's going to be the pilot for Unit-03?"
"I haven't decided yet," said Ritsuko. "I need to get a close look at the Eva when it gets here before I can work out who'd be best suited for an activation test."
"Right." Misato nodded. "Should I let the kids know about it yet?"
Ritsuko quirked an eyebrow. "Do you want to get bugged by Aida and Soryu constantly? Because I can guarantee they'll both end up begging to be the one selected."
Misato sheepishly raised a hand to scratch at her head. "Yeah, I suppose so."
"Anyway, don't you have something else to distract them with in the meantime?" Ritsuko asked, moving towards the door. Behind her, the three bridge officers had come together to compare notes on the preparations for Unit-03's arrival.
The hand froze as Misato's face scrunched up in concentration. "Uh... no? Can't think of anything."
Ritsuko looked up at the ceiling and shook her head in disbelief. "It's November twenty-eig- wait..." She glanced at her watch. "Twenty-ninth. You've got Soryu's birthday coming up this Friday, and your own birthday next Tuesday." She pushed Misato through the door and out into the hallway. "Got two parties to look forward to. I'll save you asking and say that I'll try to make it if work doesn't pile up on me too much. I was too busy working on my own birthday to bother doing anything, so let's hope I can help celebrate yours."
"...Shit," Misato swore as she began walking under her own power. "December sure came up on us quick, huh? October only felt like yesterday."
"Well go home and try to get back to sleep," Ritsuko suggested. "In the morning, see if you can rope Shinji into helping you out with Soryu's birthday."
"Oh sure, that won't be awkward at all," Misato muttered. "It's been a couple of days since they got discharged from the hospital and they're still tiptoeing around each other."
"You'll work something out, I'm sure."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"You're welcome."
XXX
Shinji felt like he was walking through a minefield. He found himself excessively cautious about what he said any time Asuka was nearby, and she seemed to be doing the same. However, unlike at the hospital, Asuka wasn't constantly evading him; they just couldn't think of anything to say to each other outside of simple things like 'what do you want for dinner?'.
It had only been a couple of days since their latest hospital visit, but Shinji was already more high-strung than he'd ever been while fighting the Angels. The ball was entirely within Asuka's court; all he could do was wait to see if she returned it or, as he was dreading more and more, threw the ball in the trash.
So it came as just a bit of a surprise to Shinji when Misato called him over to her apartment on Sunday morning and asked him to help plan a birthday party for Asuka.
"...You're joking, right?"
Misato grinned at him from her relaxed position on her couch. "Not in the slightest! It's coming up this Friday and I'll be too busy at NERV to be able to do it all myself. Of course I'm not expecting you to do everything either; maybe those friends of yours can help out."
Shinji exhaled slowly and brought up a hand to rub his head. "Well I'm sure Hikari would be happy to assist; she'd likely ask to handle the food side of things. Not quite sure about Toji or Kensuke though."
"I'm sure you'll work things out," Misato said encouragingly. "Besides, you'll be needed as the distraction on Friday."
Shinji blinked. "Excuse me?"
Misato held up a hand, extending fingers as she gave her points. "I can't get away from work until around dinner time, we can't set up the party while you're all busy at school, and we can't have the surprise ruined by the birthday girl getting home early. You'll need to keep Asuka occupied until it's ready."
"W-why me?!" Shinji desperately asked. "You know what things are like between us now! If we can barely even say two words to each other, how am I supposed to keep her busy?"
"Calm down, Shinji." Misato stood up and walked over to him, laying a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You've got a week before the party. Things have been tense between you two before, but you've managed to work things out."
"Not like this!" Shinji exclaimed, before burying his face in his hands. "Stupidest thing I've ever done, telling her how I feel..."
"The only stupidity I'm seeing is you thinking that being in love is a bad thing." The abrupt harshness in Misato's voice pulled his eyes up away from his hands. She was now glaring at him with her arms crossed. Though she wasn't in uniform, she was most definitely acting like Major Katsuragi right now. "I had a chat with Asuka after she ran off during the debriefing. I'm not going to break her trust by telling you everything, but I will say this."
Shinji flinched back slightly as Misato suddenly leaned forward. "The reason for her indecision has nothing to do with you personally. It is not your fault. Asuka's been through a lot in her life, and it's left her rather... hesitant on certain matters. Give her time."
"Alright, alright," Shinji relented, before heaving a sigh. While he would of course always respect Asuka's privacy, he could not stop himself from being curious about what exactly had happened to her. It was something nasty, obviously, and he wondered how it compared to his own life for a brief moment before hurriedly shutting down that line of thought. It was not a competition. "So do you have any ideas how I can keep her occupied after school?"
Misato shrugged helplessly. "Sorry, only thing I can think of is getting Rits to bring you two in for whatever test she can think of, and I doubt either of you would like to deal with that before a party. You should try asking that Hikari girl for suggestions."
XXX
As Shinji should have expected, Hikari was immediately on board with the idea of helping to plan Asuka's party. In fact she essentially took the over role of planner from Misato, which was met with no resistance. Toji and Kensuke were roped in to do the hauling, as Asuka did not exactly hang out with them much and therefore didn't pay attention to what they were up to. The biggest surprise for Shinji was when Hikari pulled him aside on Thursday morning before the teacher arrived at their class to explain his part in the next day's festivities.
"You want me to make the cake?" he said in abject disbelief, just barely managing to keep his voice down. "I've got no sense of taste; I've basically been banned from the kitchen!"
"You'll be fine," Hikari reassured him. "I'll be giving you a hand, and you'll be following the recipe I give you. You're not going to poison anyone."
"Well..." Shinji scratched his head. "I suppose baking doesn't involve much tasting like cooking does."
Hikari nodded. "Baking is a very precise thing compared to cooking. It's practically a science."
"But why do you want me to make it? Can't you just do it yourself?"
"Let me answer that question with one of my own. You've most likely been stressing out about this party. Do you even have a present for Asuka yet?"
"Uh..." Shinji's face began to heat up. He had been getting nervous about the swiftly approaching day, and he couldn't even think of anything Asuka would like.
Hikari was clearly a mind reader, judging by the way she was now grinning at him. "Just as I thought. So Asuka's present is going to be a cake, lovingly prepared by her co-pilot and best friend." She almost sounded jealous when mentioning that second moniker. "So here's the plan: wait for Suzuhara after school. You, him and Aida will be leaving school together, apparently heading to the arcade, but I'll be collecting you part way and taking you to my place where we'll prepare the cake. It'll be staying at my place until after school tomorrow, where I'll then take it to your apartment while you're keeping Asuka distracted."
Shinji glanced over at the redhead in question, who was staring off into space while tapping a finger against her desk. He quickly sensed danger and looked away, but now he could feel a pair of blue eyes staring into the back of his head.
"I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to do that," he sheepishly admitted, directing a hopeful glance at the class representative.
But Hikari simply shook her head. "I can't do everything for you, Shinji. You need to decide for yourself." She headed past him towards her desk. "You'd better be quick though, you've only got one more day to think of something."
Shinji immediately regretted forgetting about possibly the most important question of the party planning.
XXX
After school, Hikari's plan went off without a hitch. Asuka didn't even bat an eye at the fact that he was going off to the arcade with Toji and Kensuke. The appearance of Hikari at the meeting point came as something of a shock though, seeing as the last time Shinji had seen her she was still up in Class 2-A. He had the feeling that if he asked, no answer would be forthcoming on how she had beaten the boys to the rendezvous. Instead he waved goodbye to his male friends and followed Hikari, who made a brief stop at a supermarket to get the last couple things they needed for the cake before heading to her house. At the front door, they bumped into Hikari's older sister Kodama.
"Hey sis," Kodama greeted. "Just going out for a bit, I'll be back in time for dinner. Dad's gonna be about half an hour late apparently."
Hikari nodded. "Okay. Nozomi's at a friend's house too. Oh, this is another of my classmates, Shinji Ikari." He gave a shy wave. "His housemate is having a birthday tomorrow and I'm helping him bake the cake."
"Ikari, huh? Nice to meet you," Kodama replied with an appraising look, which quickly turned to puzzlement as she returned her attention to her sister. "Hang on, what about that Suzuhara boy you keep talking about? Given up on him already?"
"N-no!" Hikari stammered, face bright red. "I-it's not like that!"
Kodama gave an expansive shrug. "Hey, it's none of my business. Anyway, I'll see you tonight. Later."
Off she went before Hikari could attempt to correct her, leaving the class representative to sigh and wave Shinji into the house. "Why did she have to bring that up?" she moaned, apparently talking to herself.
"What's the matter?" asked Shinji. "You and Toji have been friends for a long time, haven't you? Have you tried seeing if he's interested in taking things further?"
The blush returned, but Hikari turned her head and fixed a suddenly steely gaze on Shinji. "I could say the same for you and Asuka. Haven't you two been friends for a long time? Have you tried-"
"Please!" Shinji held up a hand to try and halt the conversational train wreck in the making. "I... don't want to talk about that right now..."
"...Oh." Thrown off by his response, Hikari stared blankly at him for a moment. "Well... um... let's get to work on this cake then."
XXX
The kitchen was immaculate, looking like it had been lifted out of a magazine or cooking show. Hikari brought out all the needed ingredients and placed them on the counter top in the middle of the kitchen then disappeared momentarily, returning with a recipe book she opened up in front of Shinji.
"'Black Forest cake'," Shinji read, before looking at the associated picture with widening eyes. "Whoa, that looks complicated."
"It's not too bad," said Hikari. "I wouldn't have picked this one if I didn't think you could do it."
Indeed, it seemed rather easy once they got started. First came the two cake layers, which were quickly prepared under Hikari's watchful eye and put into the oven for half an hour. In the meantime, she set Shinji to work on whipping the cream and preparing the cherry syrup. Once that was done there was still some time left on the oven, so Hikari asked to have a look at Shinji's school work. She was generally pleased with what she saw, although there were a couple things she advised him on going forward.
The oven dinged, and the cake layers were removed, but they needed time to cool so it was back to the books for another ten minutes.
"Shinji," Hikari hesitantly said on their return to the kitchen. "Do you... think things would work between Toji and I?"
"Well..." Shinji scratched his head. "Toji always seems to be talking about you. I get the feeling he's not really as annoyed with you harassing him at school as he seems. How long exactly have you two known each other?"
"We started school together." Hikari looked off into space and smiled. "Our class was asked to introduce ourselves on the first day, and I was super nervous. But then this kid who had gone before me just turned to me and gave me a thumbs up. Afterwards we just seemed to be stuck with each other. One time another boy yanked on my hair, and before I could even react Toji was there looking like he was about to send the boy home in a box."
Shinji grinned as he pictured the scene. "Did he actually hit the boy?"
"No, thankfully. It wasn't like he was trying to rip my hair out, more like he was trying to get my attention, but Toji acted like the boy had punched me in the face." Hikari glanced at Shinji and mirrored his grin. "Oh, and take one guess who that other boy was."
It didn't take an Asuka-level intellect to figure it out. "Kensuke."
"Yep."
Back to the cake they went. The syrup was used to brush the two layers of the cake, then cream and cherries were added in the middle as they were placed together. More cream was added to the top, then flaked chocolate all over, then more cream from a piping bag made a sort of frame around the top that the last of the cherries were sat on.
Shinji wiped his brow as he leaned back and beheld his creation. There were several imperfections that stood out to him like an Angel in a police lineup, such as how the chocolate flakes weren't evenly spread and some of the cherries sat rather lopsided.
"It's fine, Shinji," Hikari reassured him when he pointed these flaws out. "Asuka is not going to care about that, and the cake's going to get eaten anyway. Focus on the fact that you made this."
"...Yeah, I really did, huh?" Shinji was frankly astonished. After he'd revealed his lack of taste to Asuka and subsequently been... discouraged from preparing food, he hadn't exactly had the chance to do anything even a tenth as complicated as this. But now it sat before him; despite all its flaws, he didmake this. He made it for Asuka.
"I'll be sure to pay you back for this once I work out how," he said to Hikari.
"Don't worry about that, Shinji," she replied. "I didn't do this expecting compensation, I did it as a favour for two of my friends. Now we just need to get it into the fridge where it will remain untouched until tomorrow. I've already told my family that this cake is off-limits, and that dire consequences will arise if there's even so much as a fingerprint in the cream."
Judging by the determination etched into Hikari's face, Shinji felt reassured that his cake -his cake that he made himself- would remain unmolested.
XXX
Friday morning came... and Shinji still hadn't come up with a method of distracting Asuka after school. It didn't help that he occasionally saw Asuka giving him some strange looks, as if she were expecting something of him, but he simply couldn't work out what she wanted and he wasn't about to ask.
At school, Hikari pulled him aside before roll call again.
"Do you have something planned yet?" she asked, giving him a look rather similar to Asuka's earlier in the day.
"I've got... a sort of idea at the moment," he blatantly lied, praying that nothing would give him away even as his face began to subtly heat up. "Still working on the fine details, but I'm sure it'll keep her away until you guys are ready."
Hikari narrowed her eyes at him, silent for long enough that Shinji wondered if she was merely waiting for him to dig himself deeper. In the end, unable to stand it any longer, Shinji said, "When you're ready for us to head home, ring me and hang up right away twice in a row. I'll have my phone on vibrate so Asuka doesn't hear it."
That seemed to satisfy Hikari, as she turned away without another word, leaving Shinji to head to his desk. Along the way Asuka gave him that look again. The old teacher soon arrived and cast his dastardly spell over the class, leading to half of them bringing out their laptops and the others falling into a death-like trance.
Throughout the day, Asuka just kept looking at him strangely. She never said a word directly to him, even during lunch when the pilots and their friends ate on the roof. Nobody else seemed to notice, which made Shinji wonder if the stress of the Angel War was finally starting to get to him. But soon, thankfully, the end of the school day came.
...And he still hadn't thought of anything.
As he stepped out of the main building, eyes downcast as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he'd essentially ruined the birthday party plan...
"Hey! Shinji!"
...a shout right behind his left ear just about made him jump out of his skin. He turned around and reflexively flinched upon seeing Asuka's face precisely three millimetres away from his own.
"Um... y-yes, Asuka?" He was just barely able to stammer out the question as he began to slowly retreat to a safe distance.
"What's the plan?" she asked, thankfully pulling back to a point where Shinji only somewhat thought she was going to bite his face off.
"...Plan?" Shinji repeated in honest puzzlement. "What plan?"
Asuka stared at him for a moment, then her entire body slumped like a puppet with its strings cut as she let out a loud sigh. "I should have known," she muttered in German. Continuing in her native tongue, she said, "The plan where you keep me distracted and away from our place until everyone else is ready."
"Oh, that," said Shinji, before her words caught up to him and his voice raised in surprise. "Wait, what?! How did you know about that?"
"Because I'm not an idiot," was Asuka's response as she raised her hands and let them flop to her sides. "I know what day it is today, and I figured my friends would be planning something." She paused, thinking for a moment. "They are plan-... yes of course they are, your response just now proves it."
Shinji sighed. So much for giving her a nice surprise. "Yeah; and like you said, my job was to keep you busy, but I couldn't think of how to do that."
"You're hopeless sometimes, Third," Asuka said in what Shinji thought was almost a fond tone. "It's a good thing I'm smart enough to see this party coming. Now I can help you out by doing your job for you."
"Uh, what do you mean?"
"Simple. I'll decide where we're going to go and play along with your 'deception'." Asuka looked away and folded her arms. "I'm sure they're working their asses off getting things ready. Wouldn't want to disappoint them by not being surprised."
"But where are we going to go in the meantime?" Shinji pressed.
"You've got two options." Asuka pointed back at the school. "We could go to the library where I can make sure you're keeping up with your work, or we can go to that one ice-cream place we all went to the day Wondergirl killed a giant spider."
Shinji blinked in stunned silence, then let out a long, frustrated groan and sank to his knees. "It was that damn simple?!" he practically shouted at the sky. "Why the hell couldn't I think of that?!"
Asuka burst out laughing. "Well now I think the choice is obvious: you need some ice-cream."
