Chapter 35 - Need To See Her
"Shinji... Asuka was absorbed by Unit-02 during your fight with Zeruel. She's trapped within the Eva."
Shinji stared at Misato as if she'd suddenly grown a second head. "Absorbed... trapped... what the hell?" he breathed.
Misato continued on. "When she got absorbed, some sort of neural feedback pulse knocked you out completely. The Eva reactivated and destroyed the Angel, while Rei... dealt with Unit-03, which we can now confirm was infected by an Angel. Right now..." Misato brought up a hand to rub at her forehead. "Asuka is apparently in Unit-02's core. We're going to be trying to get her out, but the Human Instrumentality Committee want us to put the Eva on ice. Just shove it in storage."
"What?! No!" Shinji drove a fist down onto the bed in anger. "You can't just lock her away like that!"
"I know, Shinji," Misato harshly cut in before he could get carried away. "We have a month to work on retrieving her. And we're going to do absolutely everything we can. Understood?"
"Well... is there anything I can do to help?" Shinji's voice was almost pleading.
"I don't think there's anything even I can do," Misato admitted with a helpless shrug. "They'll be doing some super technical stuff that I can only understand about ten percent of. Unfortunately, Ritsuko gave it to me straight. She's not very optimistic about our chances of retrieval."
Dread began to fill Shinji like a lump of iron in his stomach. He looked away from Misato, staring at a spot on his bed. Asuka had been... eaten by Unit-02, yet was still apparently alive. If even Doctor Akagi couldn't rescue her, she could be forever trapped in the Evangelion.
A fate she most certainly did not deserve.
"Look, just try and get some proper rest," said Misato in what she probably thought was a calming tone.
"How the hell can I rest at a time like this?!" Shinji retorted.
Misato stared at him. "...Okay, not only are you still speaking German, but you've been talking like Asuka as well."
"Wait, what?" Shinji blinked several times. "I'm speaking German right now?"
"You sure are."
He frowned, looking through his memories of the last few minutes and quickly realising that his guardian was right. Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Sorry," he slowly said, in Japanese this time. "I don't know why I was speaking German."
"That's an easy one, considering your track record," said Misato. "Just before you were knocked out and Asuka was absorbed, we recorded a combined sync ratio of over four hundred percent."
"Four hundred..." Shinji repeated in abject shock, before despondence set in. "Damn, Asuka would have been freaking ecstatic to hear that."
"To be frank, it's a miracle you're still... well... you, considering what happened when you were both trapped inside the Twelfth Angel. At least this time you'only' got away with speaking German without realising." Misato gave him a bemused look. "Honestly, I would not have been all that surprised if I had come down here to find you claiming you're Asuka."
"Like... a body swap thing?" Shinji blanched at that mental image. "That would probably be pure torture for her, knowing I'm stuck in her body... wherever it is."
"She would literally explode from embarrassment."
Shinji sighed and shook his head. Then, he remembered that there were two other people he still didn't know about. "So what about Rei and Kensuke? Are they alright?"
From the sudden shift of Misato's facial expression, Shinji knew he wasn't going to like the answer.
"Rei is... alright," she began. "The other Angel, Bardiel, tried to infest Unit-00 as well. She just barely managed to kill it, but..." She broke off, looking away and scowling at nothing.
"What happened?" Shinji pressed.
"Unit-00's arms were infested, and it almost reached the body by the time Bardiel was killed. The very second it was confirmed dead, Commander Ikari ordered the Eva's arms to be jettisoned."
"Um..." Shinji tilted his head to one side, confused. "Okay... that sounds like a good thing, right?"
Misato finally looked back at him. "The nerve connections were still active. And Rei's sync ratio was quite high." She paused, letting him work it out.
It didn't take long. "...So Rei practically had her own arms cut off? Oh gods..." he murmured, glancing at his own left arm. He -and Asuka- had lost an arm due to their incredibly high synchronisations, and he remembered the horrible agony that had gone along with it once Unit-02 had lost power.
Misato nodded. "Exactly. Rei is stuck in the hospital as well now, because her arms are essentially paralysed. I've been told it's only temporary, but who knows how long it'll take her to recover."
"And Kensuke?"
"That..." Misato sighed dejectedly. "That's a different story, I'm afraid. Kensuke was stuck in Unit-03 the whole fight. The Angel was able to stop us ejecting the entry plug, and the infestation got to him as well."
Shinji sat up straight, panic in his eyes. "He's not-"
"No, he's alive," Misato interrupted before he could continue. "Alive... but unconscious and in quarantine. Considering we didn't notice the infestation until it... awoke, there's currently no way of knowing if it lives on within him. He was also badly injured in the fight, since he was apparently still synchronised with the Eva and Rei had a hard time rescuing him. Not to mention when the Angel tried to eat the plug."
"Eat it?!" Shinji exclaimed in abject horror.
Misato opened her mouth, but then paused and covered it with a hand for a second. "Sorry," she soon said, taking the hand away from her mouth and waving it. "It's just... the Angel did manage to bite the plug. Cracked it in half, but Rei managed to shove a knife into its core while it was distracted."
Shinji leaned back on the bed and rubbed his forehead. In just one fight, three of his friends had been taken out, and only one of them seemed capable of a full recovery at the moment.
"It's bad, I know," Misato murmured. "You're the only pilot available right now, and Unit-01's the only combat-ready Eva."
Shinji shot her a dark look. Why was he not surprised she was thinking of the military repercussions first? He grunted. "Well, whatever. Do I have to stay here?"
"No," replied Misato. "As soon as you're checked out, you should be good to go. First though, I want to hear your side of the story."
He groaned, anxious to be up and actually doing something, but he complied. There was not much new he could really offer though, apart from describing what he had seen happen to Asuka and the fact that he got his arm back. At that, Misato got up and came around to the other side of the bed, pushing up Shinji's sleeve and peering closely at the skin of his arm. Seemingly satisfied, she adjusted the sleeve before patting his shoulder.
"That reminds me, I never said exactly how Zeruel finally died, did I?"
"Let me guess," Shinji drawled. "Unit-02 went berserk and ripped the bastard to shreds?"
Misato smirked. "Close enough. First though it ripped one of the Angel's paper arms off and somehow used it to regenerate its own arm. That seems to be how you got your arm back, although that shouldn't be possible because you were unconscious and therefore could not have been synchronised."
Shinji frowned, looking at his arm once more.
"Oh yes, and one more thing," Misato continued. "Not only did Unit-02 rip the Angel apart, it ate its core. Now Unit-02 has its own S2 Engine somehow, and hearing about that sent the Committee into a right state, let me tell you. Once they found out, they wanted Unit-02 frozen immediately. They were almost... panicky?" Misato trailed off, looking away in thought. "Don't know why, considering we were trying to build one before without any complaints."
"But that's good isn't it?" asked Shinji. "Now Unit-02 no longer needs to rely on battery power!"
"Exactly!" Misato exclaimed. "What do they have against us being able to fight Angels without worrying about time limits?! Something's not right there."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually." Shinji shifted on the bed. "Is there anything else, or can I get dressed and checked out?"
"Nah, that should be everything," replied Misato. "I've got a mountain of paperwork to do anyway, but I'll find someone to send your way so you can get out of here. Hopefully I can get enough time spare to duck off home and feed Pen-pen." She headed for the door, giving him a parting wave as she stepped through. "See you later."
The moment the door closed, Shinji sighed and flopped backwards onto the bed. So many thoughts were whirring through his brain after all he had learned, but one was much, much noisier than the rest. Even the arrival of the doctor and the usual irritation associated with a NERV medical check-up failed to dislodge the thought.
'Asuka's gone. Might never see her again.'
Shinji felt like he had to do something, but he wasn't a genius like Asuka. He barely even understood how the damn Evangelions worked. But the thought persisted, nagging him, seemingly taunting him for his inability to help.
"Alright, we're all good here," said the doctor. "But for the time being you've been ordered to stay within the Geofront. You can either return here when you get tired, or the bunkroom. Presumably, since you're our only available pilot, they want you close at hand in case of emergency."
'Asuka's gone. Might never see her again.'
"Okay," Shinji replied as he got to his feet, heading for the bathroom door and grabbing his clothes along the way. Just as he touched the door handle, a new thought finally occurred, giving him at least some sense of what he could do for a distraction if nothing else. "In that case, once I'm dressed I'm going to go visit Rei. What room is she in?"
The doctor cleared his throat. "Uh... room 115, but I'm not sure if she's being allowed visitors yet."
Shinji slowly turned his head to stare at him over his shoulder, causing the man to flinch slightly. "Is she quarantined?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Have you been given explicit orders to not allow anyone to see her?"
"No but-"
"Then I am going to go and visit her."
The doctor looked at him for a moment, but couldn't maintain eye contact. He turned his head away and mumbled, "Fair enough..."
With that, Shinji entered the bathroom.
"Sheesh, if I didn't know any better I'd have sworn I was talking to the Second Child, not the Third."
Shinji spun around, but the doctor had already left the room. He blinked in puzzlement for a few seconds, and then went over the conversation in his head. He had been rather more forceful than he otherwise would have been. Then again Asuka would have likely added a few curse words to the mix.
'Wait, I've been accidentally speaking German and acting more like Asuka according to two people,' he thought with a frown as he got changed. 'I'm pretty sure I'm still myself. I don't seem to have any memories of Germany or anything else from her life, so we haven't merged... probably. This is going to be a real long shot, but... Asuka? Are you in here somewhere?' He waited for a minute, adjusting his shirt, but nothing happened. 'Guess that was too much to ask for...'
He left his room and headed for room 115, that irritating thought still pounding away with each footstep.
'Asuka's gone. Might never see her again.'
Shinji hissed in frustration and smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. All he could do was hope talking to Rei would help distract him for a while.
He knocked on the door to room 115, entering when he heard a soft voice murmur, "Come in."
"Hi Rei," said Shinji as the door closed behind him.
Rei was sitting up in bed, looking out the window, but his voice caused her head to quickly turn around. She graced him with a rare small smile, but then she hastily looked away from him. "Hello Shinji. I am glad to see you are well."
"Well, mostly," Shinji replied, walking over to stand by the bed. "I woke up and didn't realise I was speaking German until Misato outright told me."
"...I see," said Rei. "I have already been informed as to what occurred with Asuka. All I can do is hope she is returned to us soon."
"Yeah, me too..." Shinji's gaze wandered around the room, before settling on Rei's arm. "So... your arms are still paralysed, aren't they?"
Rei focused her gaze on her right arm for a few seconds, then sighed quietly. "Yes, there has been no change yet. I have been reassured that it will soon pass, but since I am essentially helpless I remain confined to this bed."
"Damnit," Shinji muttered. "I wish we could have stopped the other Angel quicker so we could have helped you."
Rei remained silent, still not looking at him. Shinji raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. Normally she would maintain eye contact with whoever she was speaking to. "...Rei? Is something wrong?" Her head twitched ever so slightly, but it may as well have been an Angel alarm for how clear it was to him. "Please talk to me, Rei."
More silence was his answer but Shinji remained undeterred, holding his gaze on her. Finally, what felt like an hour later, Rei turned her head so that she could just barely see him. "During the fight, I did something I am ashamed of in order to defeat the Angel."
A retort popped into Shinji's mind but he kept his mouth shut, quickly recognising it as something Asuka would have said. Instead he sat quietly and let Rei continue.
"During the fight I was briefly able to get the Angel down on the ground and rescue Kensuke's entry plug, even though Commander Ikari ordered me to ignore it." she continued. "But I was unable to disengage to take him to safety, and with one hand occupied I could not adequately defend myself against the Angel, let alone kill it. Commander Ikari demanded that I abandon the entry plug, but the Angel seemed intent on taking it back, to the point where it was almost ignoring my Eva."
Shinji inhaled sharply, feeling a wave of anger wash over him. His father was willing to let Kensuke die? Then he remembered what Misato had told him, that the Angel had somehow managed to bite the entry plug, and a chill replaced the heat of anger.
"I... ended up using that to my advantage." Rei's voice was quieter now, more... nervous? "I threw the plug up in the air and attacked the Angel's core while it was distracted. But... even though I managed to break the core, the Angel still managed to catch the plug in its mouth and..." She squeezed her eyes shut.
"...I know the rest," Shinji dully said. "Misato told me earlier."
Rei glanced at him. "I see," she replied, her gaze drifting away once more. "I am... sorry, Shinji. I was unable to keep my promise."
"Promise?"
"I said that I would keep Kensuke safe. I failed."
Shinji ran a hand down his face as he marshalled his thoughts. "Asuka's not here, but at this point I reckon I have a good idea what she'd say if she was with us." He cleared his throat. The words came surprisingly easy. "You've got nothing to apologise for, Wondergirl! The Angels are bastards and they don't fight fair! All we can do is fight harder and smarter than them. You kept that Angel off our back so that we could take down the biggest threat. Kensuke's still alive and that's what matters. As far as I'm concerned you did keep that promise!"
Silence reigned in the room for an awkward moment, before a small smile blossomed on Rei's face. "Ignoring the obvious differences, your impression of her was uncanny. Thank you, Shinji."
Shinji's face flushed. "Erm... you're welcome," he stammered.
Another awkward moment would have ensued, had it not been for a nurse entering the room pushing a small trolley. On it was a glass of water with a straw and a bowl of chunky soup.
"Hello Ms Ayanami- oh, and Mister Ikari too," the nurse greeted, giving Shinji a nod. "Good to see you up and about once more." To Rei, she said, "Would you like to have something to eat now?"
"Yes please," Rei replied.
"Uh, hey..." interrupted Shinji as the nurse went to pick up the bowl. "Would it be alright if I helped her eat instead?"
The nurse stared blankly at him for a moment, then her eyes flicked over to Rei and back again. "I... see no problem with that," she slowly said. "Ms Ayanami, is that alright with you?"
"...That would be appreciated," said Rei, shooting Shinji a puzzled look.
The nurse sat the bowl back down on the trolley and bowed. "Then I'll leave you two to it," she said before exiting the room.
Shinji shifted a chair and the trolley next to the bed and sat down. Just as he was about to dip the spoon into the soup, Rei spoke up.
"Why did you ask to do this?"
"Well," Shinji began, trying not to think that thought that had driven him here in the first place. "I came here because I needed a distraction... oh, and to visit you of course," he hurriedly added. "With everything that's going on, I'm feeling kinda... useless. If I can at least do something like this for you..."
Rei stared at him as he trailed off, then gave a slight nod of her head. "I see." A corner of her mouth tilted slightly upwards. "It may be a good thing that Asuka isn't here right now."
Shinji froze with the full spoon halfway from the bowl to her mouth. "...Pardon?"
"You are attempting to court her, are you not? I believe she would feel some amount of jealousy if she were to witness this."
His face flushing, Shinji looked away and huffed. "J-just let me help you," he mumbled.
"Very well. I shall not tell her if you do not."
"It never leaves this room."
"Too late. The nurse knows."
A moment later, a very Asuka-like curse filled the room.
XXX
After helping Rei with her meal, Shinji chatted with her for a little longer until something came up that he couldn't assist her with.
"Could you... please press the nurse call button?" she asked.
"What? Is there a problem, Rei?" replied Shinji.
Rei shook her head. "Not as such. It is simply something you would be very uncomfortable with."
Shinji frowned, running over possibilities in his mind, until Rei pointedly glanced at the door leading to the bathroom. His gaze flicked over to the door for a second, and then his face went red.
"Oh!" he suddenly exclaimed as he fumbled for the call button. "R-right!"
Moments later, the same nurse from before arrived. Rei nodded towards the bathroom and the nurse immediately went to her side, helping her out of the bed.
"I'll... just head off for now," Shinji awkwardly said, trying desperately not to think about the kind of aid someone in Rei's situation would need. "I think I've taken up enough of your time."
"You are going to the Eva cage, correct?" replied Rei.
Shinji blinked. She'd gotten it exactly right. "...Yeah."
"Then... give her my best wishes."
He didn't need to ask who she meant. Instead, he simply nodded and said, "Will do. See you later."
Turning to the door out to the corridor, Shinji went to press the button, but the door opened before his hand could reach it. Puzzled, he looked at the doorway and instantly paled upon seeing a familiar dark suit.
"Shinji."
"Um... h-hello Father," Shinji eloquently replied.
Indeed, it was Commander Ikari standing there, his gaze focused at some point behind Shinji with his hands clasped behind his back. Shinji stepped aside to let his father into the room, but the man remained where he was.
"You came to visit Rei," said his father.
"Y-yes. I also... um... helped her eat some soup."
"And now you are going to the Eva cage."
Again, somebody had worked out exactly what Shinji was going to do. He knew that if he asked how his father knew there would be no response.
"Yes," he lamely replied then, sensing it might not be enough, meekly added, "...please?"
Finally, the man's gaze drifted down to meet his. Shinji tried gamely to maintain what little eye contact was possible with someone who wore nearly-opaque glasses. Perhaps he wore them to prevent people reading him like he could read them.
"You have already been given free reign to come and go from the cages as you please," said his father. "However, if you interfere with the operation taking place that permission will be rescinded."
Shinji's eyes widened. He'd been expecting to have to either beg or bluff his way in, but now he was being freely allowed in? "U-understood, sir. T-thank you."
The elder Ikari's gaze shifted back up as he moved into the room, and Shinji took that to mean that another deep, meaningful father-son conversation had come to an end. He sidled through the open doorway, staring at his father's back until the closing door cut off his view.
Out in the hallway, Shinji exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. Already, with nothing to distract him, he could feel that thought coming back. He took a deep breath, held it in for a few seconds, then released it at the same time he began walking. The few people sharing the corridors with him quickly shifted out of his way as he approached, perhaps seeing the determination etched on his face. That thought began to twist in his head, warping into something new but no less intrusive.
'Need to see her.'
The elevator was now directly ahead, doors opened and empty as if it were waiting just for him. Shinji stepped inside and pressed both the button for the Evangelion cage floor, and the door close button. The car trundled upwards, fortunately not stopping anywhere but at the floor he wanted. The moment the doors opened Shinji took off at a run, charging down the corridors and slowing only for corners. Only when he reached the familiar security door did he come to a halt, breathing rapidly after the run but refusing to take a moment to recover. He slapped the door switch, waited impatiently for the system to unlock the door, and began to run again as soon as his path was clear.
The first two cages and their occupants, human and Evangelion, were ignored completely, but Shinji was forced to slow down upon reaching the third cage. It was that or trip over the myriad devices strewn about the gantry. Several people looked up curiously as he approached, but almost all of them went back to what they were doing. Only one kept their focus on Shinji, even going so far as to approach him.
"Hello, Shinji," said Doctor Akagi as she stopped in front of him. "I was honestly expecting you here sooner."
Shinji stared at her for a moment before sighing. "Is it written on my forehead or something?" he groaned.
"No, Section Two has been keeping us up to date."
"...What," Shinji blankly replied.
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, you were unaware? Those walking slabs of meat in black suits are just part of the protection we have for you pilots. There are at least a dozen people you don't see keeping an eye on you as well as what's happening nearby. They have to report every little thing that occurs so that NERV is kept in the loop regarding your comings and goings. About the only place they stay out of is your home, and even then there's going to be someone in the next building watching your apartment."
Shinji paled at the revelation that he had far less privacy than he'd thought. "But... how does all that tell you that I'd be coming here?"
Doctor Akagi just tilted her head to one side, giving him a look of mild exasperation.
"...Have I really been that obvious?" Shinji mumbled after a few awkwardly silent seconds.
"Well there's that, and the fact that Unit-02's black box did record your almost-final moments, which us higher-ups had to listen to."
All the blood suddenly drained from Shinji's face. "W-wait! My father knows about that?!" He paused as he realised something. "And... he doesn't care?"
Doctor Akagi shrugged. "As long as you continue to be an effective pilot, you can do whatever else you like as far as we're concerned. The moment something begins to interfere with your ability to do what we require of you, that's when we'll be forced to step in."
"Huh." Shinji glanced up at the mangled Unit-02. "Well... I'm still just a co-pilot, since all I really do is give Asuka a helping hand. Speaking of her though... what are you actually doing here? I mean, besides repairs, obviously."
Doctor Akagi glanced up at Unit-02, gesturing with a hand. "At the moment, we're setting things up so we can begin attempts to recover Asuka from the core." She shot him a regretful look. "But I'm guessing Misato's already told you that we're not exactly optimistic about our chances."
"But you are going to do everything you can, right?" Shinji asked. "You can't just leave her in there!"
"Of course we'll do our best," Doctor Akagi said in a placating tone. "But if we reach the deadline with no results-"
"No!" Shinji shouted, ignoring the looks of nearby workers. "She doesn't deserve to be trapped in there forever just because of some suit-wearing bastards hiding away while we keep their asses safe!"
Doctor Akagi stared at him in shock. Shinji blinked, suddenly cognisant of the commotion he'd caused, and looked away bashfully. "Sorry..."
"I understand, Shinji," Doctor Akagi said with a sigh. "But their word is law. If the Committee tells you to jump, you don't waste breath asking 'how high?'. You just jump until they tell you to stop. We'll do our best, but this is something of a unique situation. Our chances of success are rather low, to be honest."
Despite already expecting that, Shinji felt his heart sink further. "Yeah... I suppose this is the first time a pilot's been absorbed by their Eva."
Doctor Akagi was silent for a few seconds. "Yes," she finally replied. "Nothing like this has happened before. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work."
Shinji nodded and stepped aside to let her pass, following her with his gaze for a brief moment before returning his attention to Unit-02. The core was still exposed, likely so that the workers could do... whatever they were trying. The left arm was completely bare, as was the head and several other areas where damaged plating had yet to be replaced.
This was the first time Shinji had seen an Evangelion's head without its helmet, and the uncanny resemblance to a human face was disturbing. Despite being shut down, there still seemed to be a hint of life in its eyes, as if at any moment they would focus on him.
Shinji blinked. Wait... were they looking at him? He blinked again, and the sensation of being watched disappeared. He stared into an eye bigger than his head, waiting to see if it happened again, but gave up after a minute.
Clearly, the situation was starting to get to him.
Shinji spent an unknown amount of time there on the gantry, maintaining a quiet vigil and only moving when somebody needed to get past him. Eventually, when his eyes were starting to droop, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Come on, Shinji," said Doctor Akagi. "You're nearly dead on your feet. You should go get some sleep in the bunkroom. Can't let you go home unfortunately, what with you being the only pilot."
Shinji leaned on the railing and sighed. "Someone needs to keep an eye out for her."
"In the Eva cages, and here in particular now, there's someone watching twenty-four seven," replied Doctor Akagi. "If something were to happen, we'd know in seconds."
Not knowing what else to say, Shinji simply stared at the exposed core of Unit-02. Numerous cables were plugged into it, trailing away to various machines scattered about the gantry. The cage was now empty except for him, Doctor Akagi and two other workers, who seemed about ready to leave themselves.
"You'll be no good to her if you're sleep-deprived," Doctor Akagi continued. "And again, you're our only pilot right now. We need you ready to go at a moment's notice, and the Angels won't wait for you to take a power nap."
Shinji rubbed a hand over his face, then let his arms flop to his sides. He gave a conceding nod and mumbled, "Alright, I suppose..."
"I assume you'll be here first thing in the morning?" Before he could respond, Doctor Akagi chuckled. "Oh, what am I saying... of course you'll be here."
His only response being a deadpan stare, Shinji trudged off to the cage exit.
The moment the door closed after him, Doctor Akagi looked up at Unit-02 and sighed. "I really hope he stops turning into his father before it's too late."
