Chapter 40 - A Kindred Spirit

It was... cold.

Shinji groaned, his entire body feeling like a giant had just sat on it, and his head felt twice as bad. Some sort of constant noise was filling his ears. A vehicle? He struggled to get his eyes open; it was as if somebody had attached a ton of weight to them, but soon he could make out greyish light and someone sitting in front of him, looking away. The scenery around him was drab, looking like somebody had sucked the colour out of the world.

Where was he? Shinji wracked his brain, trying to work out how he got here, but it only succeeded in making his headache worse. He let out an involuntary groan, which caught the attention of the figure in front of him.

"You're finally awake," it said.

Shinji shook his head, trying to clear out the cobwebs. The person sitting across from him, a dour looking dark-haired man with his arms folded in front of him, raised an eyebrow.

"NERV must have really been pushing you hard today, if you're falling asleep just on the ride out of the complex."

Shinji, utterly confused, opened his mouth to respond, but somebody else got there first.

"I'm not sleeping!" a female voice retorted from right next to Shinji. He blinked... and realised that the man was not staring at him. He slowly turned his head to the right, and his eyes just about flew out of his head. A little girl was on the seat next to him, her arms also folded as she glared daggers at the man.

A little girl, clad in a red dress, with a pair of piercing blue eyes and a very familiar mane of flame-red hair.

"...Asuka?"

The girl gave no indication of hearing him as she said, "I was just resting my eyes! I'm not tired at all!"

"Of course you aren't," the man replied with a sigh. He stared out the car window. "Wish this damned rain would let up; it's been like this the entire week. I've got things to do!"

The girl, which Shinji knew had to somehow be Asuka, scowled even harder and looked away from the man. She was now looking directly at Shinji's arm yet still seemed to be unaware of his presence. Was this just a rather strange dream he was having? Or was it... some sort of memory?

"Clever boy."

The interior of the car suddenly turned as grey as the sky. Asuka and the man had stopped moving completely, and even the rain was frozen mid-flight.

And now there was another person in the car; the only other woman Shinji knew of with red hair. "Bwynvienne?" he gasped.

"Been a while since we last, spoke, huh?" The literally flame-haired woman casually waved a hand in greeting, her other arm resting on the back of the seat behind Asuka. "You just keep getting yourself into stranger and stranger situations. The Infernal Administration actually considered disabling one of their non-critical alert systems because of you."

"Uh... what?" Shinji eloquently replied.

"All your soul shenanigans," Bwynvienne clarified. "Things got rather confusing for us when Asuka suddenly disappeared. To us it was like she had completely vanished from existence for a couple of weeks, which is something of a red flag when somebody with multiple souls does that."

"Take it up with Zeruel then," Shinji retorted. "They were the one that forced us to synchronise so high that Asuka got absorbed into the Eva. If we hadn't done that, we would have lost."

Bwynvienne gave an expansive shrug. "Not saying it was a bad thing, just... very, very, interesting to examine."

"Well... whatever." Shinji waved a hand in dismissal. "What's going on here?"

Looking around, Bwynvienne shrugged again. "Hard to say right now, since I've only just begun to look into it. Initial examination seems to indicate that your soul and Asuka's have become entangled." She interlaced her fingers as a visual example. "I heard NERV mentioning mental contamination too, like the Angel thing is trying to read your mind or something."

"My mind?" Shinji pointed at the frozen scene around them. "This is not my mind."

Bwynvienne sighed. "No, of course not. Look, I'm not one of those NERV people. My remit is soul contracts and anything that may actively seek to cause problems with said contracts. Despite you and Asuka being my clients... I can't actually do much to help you right now. If the Angel were trying to steal your souls, I could jump in and teach it why you don't mess with the Infernal Administration. Right now all I can do is sit back, watch, and learn what's happening."

Frustratedly rubbing a hand across his face, a hand that was not covered by the rubber of a plugsuit for some reason,Shinji snarled. "Then what freakin' good are you?!"

"...You're going through a stressful situation right now," Bwynvienne slowly replied. "I'm sorry I can't do anything about it, but that's no reason to get mad at me."

Shinji took a deep breath, and let it slowly hiss out through clenched teeth; the sudden anger seemed to dissipate at the same time. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"No harm done." Bwynvienne stood up. Somehow, the dimensions of the car seemed to mean absolutely nothing. The roof was still above her head, and it had not shifted in the slightest, despite the woman being at least twice as tall as the car. Looking at it made Shinji's eyes water. "Look, I need to go now, take a look at this from all angles. Admin's going to be asking so many questions.I may not be able to help, but I'm definitely rooting for you to get through this in one piece."

"Wait!" Shinji suddenly exclaimed. "Can you... I mean... if Asuka and I don't make it... can you please tell Misato what happened?"

Bwynvienne stared at him for a long moment, then nodded. "I can do that, yes, but I won't." Before Shinji could angrily respond, she raised a hand and continued. "I won't, because you will make it through this. Good luck, Shinji."

She vanished, and colour slowly began to leech back into the car. Asuka continued staring through his midsection while the man huffed at her and folded his arms.

So... the Angel was trying to read their minds, or something like that, and he was seeing Asuka as a young girl so clearly this was one of her memories. She looked to be about four years old, making this close to ten years before they'd met in person. At this point he would have likely just been delivered to his teacher after the death of his mother. It would still be at least another year before he would even know the name Agatha.

And for some reason his plugsuit had been traded in for a school uniform. It was impossible to know if that was important or not.

The awkward silence was so bad Shinji wished he could make his presence known, just so he didn't have to deal with the second-hand embarrassment. Out of pure curiosity, and not a little boredom as the journey dragged on, Shinji slowly reached around the back of the young girl and gave the gentlest of taps to her right shoulder.

The result was surprising: Asuka suddenly reached up and brushed her shoulder exactly where he had tapped, side-eyeing the man suspiciously. It could just have been exactly what had happened back then as Asuka remembered it, but it was a hell of a coincidence.

It didn't seem like a good idea to press his luck though. Who knew what could happen if Asuka suddenly became aware he was inside her head, staring directly at her past. She had walled those memories up like a fortress, only occasionally peeking over the wall and throwing out a few scraps of information before retreating back inside.

Shinji wasn't even sure who this man was. Her father? Asuka seemed to have a very similar look on her face now as she did when mentioning how the man had married a nurse. But this man didn't seem to be acting very fatherly towards the young girl... then again Shinji wasn't one to be making judgements on somebody's father.

The world went past, and eventually the sky was mostly blocked out by buildings as the car entered a city. There didn't seem to be much traffic on the road, despite... whatever hour this was, and the buildings looked like big metal boxes. This was likely due to Asuka not paying any attention on the journey, or an artefact of how long ago the memory took place. But soon the car reached a building that looked far more real than those surrounding it, one that Shinji could recognise almost instantly: a hospital.

An uneasy feeling began to settle in his gut. Asuka was going from NERV straight to a civilian hospital. Her mother had died a long time ago. The chances were high that this was a memory of Asuka visiting her mother. And that could mean that this uncaring man was her father; he certainly didn't have the professional detachment of a Section Two agent.

The car pulled into a parking spot, and Asuka was the first out of the car. The man who was possibly her father was next, followed by the blank slate of a driver. Shinji stared at the car door on his side, wondering if he could actually leave.

'Well, I'm sitting in the car," he mused. 'I can feel the seat underneath me. I was able to touch Asuka's shoulder, so therefore...'

To his relief, the door easily opened at his touch, and Shinji got out. He started to look around for where the others had gone, only for a rope around his waist to suddenly yank him backwards. At least, that was what it felt like.

Shinji flew backwards through the air, unable to even look around until the invisible rope suddenly slackened. Quickly getting his feet back on solid ground, he turned around to see Asuka with arms folded, glaring again at her probably-father.

"I've said it before," the man frustratedly said. "Stop running in the car park!"

Asuka's only response was to roll her entire head before huffing and continuing on. Once she was about five meters away from Shinji, the invisible rope returned. Understanding dawned; whatever was happening in this memory, he had to stay close to its source. He quickened his pace until he was walking right next to the grumpy girl. Other people were passing by, but they all looked like store mannequins with completely featureless faces.

They entered the hospital, and Asuka looked ready to take off again until the sound of a throat clearing behind him took the wind out of her sails. She directed one more glare over her shoulder before stopping, looking thoughtful.

"I... uh," she hesitantly began. "I gotta go to the bathroom first."

This earned her a dismissive wave from the man, who was already quickly walking over to the elevator, and a look of horror from Shinji. Before he could even begin to formulate a plan, the rope returned and he was being dragged along a corridor.

To his great relief, he was just barely able to keep himself outside the room that Asuka walked into, but his back was almost literally right against the wall. Shinji did not want to test what would happen if the rope tried to pull him through solid objects.

Several very awkward minutes later, Asuka emerged and set off back the way they came. In the lobby, she headed for the elevators and pressed the call button. A door immediately opened and Asuka and Shinji stepped inside. Asuka reached for the buttons, but her questing fingers stopped just short of what Shinji assumed was the floor her mother was residing on. Quickly working out which button she was aiming for, he pressed it, causing Asuka to look around the elevator car confusedly for a moment.

Despite this being merely a memory, Shinji still felt that same weird feeling in his stomach as the elevator accelerated and then came to a stop. The door opened with a ding and Asuka, with no adult in sight to tell her otherwise, began running down the corridor. At least this time, Shinji was ready for it. The corridor seemed to stretch on forever, and the roof seemed to gradually rise higher and higher. But he kept his focus on the girl, easily matching her pace until she skidded to a halt in front of a door, the label stating that its occupant was one Kyoko Zeppelin-Soryu.

Asuka took a moment to straighten out her dress and run a hand through her hair, then cleared her throat and began to open the door.

"Mama!" she exclaimed, her voice full of joy. "You'll never guess what happened to-"

The door swung open, the interior of the room almost pitch black despite the time of day. A modicum of light seeped in through a partially closed curtain, washing over an upright figure that...

That was...

Shinji covered his mouth in shock, unable to tear his gaze away, and heard a horrified gasp from next to him.

Kyoko Zeppelin-Soryu was hanging from the ceiling. And right next to her another noose dangled; at the end of it was a doll clad in red, its head almost torn off.

"...M...mama...?"

Somehow, Asuka's voice, bordering on hysterical, managed to inject some life into Shinji's limbs. His body moving almost on its own, he slammed the door closed before scooping the petrified girl up into his arms.

He backpedalled away from the door, his spine soon impacting the wall behind him. Sliding down to sit on the floor, he held Asuka as tightly as he could.

It was only now, as he slid down to sit on the ground, that he realised exactly what he had just done. A small pair of arms slowly curled around the back of his neck. The girl let out a sniffle and Shinji, feeling his shirt slowly dampen, let his own begin to fall as well.

And then, on the absolute edge of his hearing, Shinji heard a man and woman begin to moan. Asuka stiffened in his arms, her head jerkily turning towards the sound.

There had been no doors in the corridor until Asuka had reached this one. And right next to the door leading to... that, one other door sat in the wall. There was no label on it, but it was the only other door in the entire corridor.

Realisation dawned. Asuka said that her father had married a nurse. The man that had been in the car with them had gone ahead in the hospital. Asuka had been barely able to hide her disgust at the man.

The man was cheating on his wife, in the hospital room right next to where she had just killed herself.

The muffled sounds of rising passion made Shinji grit his teeth in rage; the hatred dried his tears in a flash. He stood up, ready to burst into the room, until he remembered two very important things: this was merely a memory, and he was holding the owner of that memory in his arms. His anger settled down into a simmer, and he stomped off down the corridor, only stopping when the two doors were well out of sight. With those noises out of their ears, Asuka's tears began anew, and Shinji absently began to rub a hand up and down her back.

A battered wall, which had held up for a decade, began to crack and crumble.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Asuka," he murmured into her hair. "I'm so... so sorry..."

Chunks of the wall fell off, dissolving into dust. Through the gaps in the wall, a purple giant stood on the other side of a window.

The girl in his arms gasped, and two red-rimmed eyes looked up at him. "Wh... you..." she stammered, before shaking her head and trying again. "...Who... are you?"

The wall completely disintegrated, revealing a control room, a distorted face on a computer screen, and a small boy.

Shinji sighed. "I'm really nobody special," he quietly replied, remaining stoic for her sake even as his head erupted in pain. "Just think of me as... a kindred spirit."

XXX

'You will make it through this. Good luck.'

Bwynvienne's words of encouragement rang in Asuka's ears as she stared down at the brown-haired boy next to her in the elevator. Whatever the damn Angel up in orbit was doing, it had managed to merge her's and Shinji's minds even more than they had been in the past. While she wasn't exactly violently opposed to the notion, things were already at maximum levels of weird and awkward between them.

And now she was in Shinji's past. Sort of.

The elevator dinged, the doors opened, and the woman holding young Shinji's hand stepped out into the corridor, walking slowly so that the boy could keep up with his short legs. Asuka also exited the elevator, but stopped and looked at the two of them walk off... until some sort of invisible rope began to inexorably tug her along the corridor behind them.

Of course. This was Shinji's memory; a child like him would have no real knowledge of things outside a certain range, so she was forced to stay with him. Out of curiosity, Asuka sped up to pass them so that she could look at the woman who was probably Yui Ikari. One glance at the face proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt; she looked like an adult, female version of Shinji.

Asuka frowned. Yui Ikari also somewhat resembled... Rei Ayanami? She made a mental note to take a closer look at both Wondergirl and Shinji the next time they were in the same room.

Realisation struck her; she could actually see the face of Shinji's mother, something that he had been struggling with for most of his life. Walking backwards down the corridor, Asuka did her best to commit Yui's features to memory, before the woman stopped in front of a metal door. Now that she was paying close attention, Yui Ikari seemed strangely tall, towering over Shinji -and Asuka- more than she should be. Asuka looked around the corridor, and realised the ceiling was much higher than normal.

It took a moment, but then she slapped a hand to her forehead in realisation. This was the memory of a child. Back then, everything seemed much bigger. Even the door they were standing in front of stretched up far beyond the top of Asuka's head, with a card reader next to the door somewhere around her eye level.

Yui swiped a card through the reader, which beeped and opened the door. Inside the room, also disturbingly big, were probably a dozen other people, including two that Asuka could easily recognise: Gendo Ikari and Kozo Fuyutsuki. They were all abnormally tall too. Someone who looked like a dark-haired Doctor Akagi, probably her mother, was also there, and sighed upon turning around and spotting Yui and Shinji.

"Really, Yui?" she said. "You're bringing your son in here? Why?"

"We are on the verge of something amazing," replied Yui. "I brought Shinji along to show him the bright future ahead of us."

Akagi glanced at the other Ikari adult. "And you're fine with this too, I take it?"

Gendo Ikari turned around, and Asuka recoiled slightly at how... different the eventual Commander of NERV looked. No glasses, no beard, and an expression of something other then stiff impassivity. Asuka was honestly surprised Shinji had somehow managed to remember these features, considering his relationship with his father.

"If she wants to let him watch, I have no problem with it," he said with the slightest of grins. "Just try and stop her when her mind's set on something."

Yui smiled at her husband, then let young Shinji's hand go and squatted down next to him. The motion made Asuka's eyes water as the woman both seemed to shrink while remaining the same size. "I need to go now, and do my part. You'll be able to watch from in here, but don't touch anything. Okay?"

Shinji nodded. "'kay Mama," he replied, looking around the room in awe. After swiftly getting over just how adorable he sounded, Asuka took in the room as well. Most of it was computer terminals, but one wall of the room was actually a giant window. And on the other side of the window was...

Evangelion Unit-01. Looking far more gigantic than in real life. Asuka's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Some kind of test was clearly happening here. Was it... the first attempt to actually pilot an Evangelion?

Yui's smile widened, and she gave the young Shinji a hug and a kiss on the forehead. "That's my boy!" She stood up and looked at her husband and Fuyutsuki. "Look after him for me while I'm gone, please?"

"Of course," said Fuyutsuki. "We'll make sure he doesn't get into any trouble."

Shinji watched her leave, then turned to his father. "What's Mama doing?" he asked.

In response, the elder Ikari pointed out the window at Unit-01. "She's going to get into that," he said. "Your mother's going to help us see if we can make it work."

Evidently seeing the Evangelion for the first time, Shinji ambled over to the window, putting his face right against the glass. "Whoah," he breathed, fogging the window up. "Big thing." Presumably because it wasn't actually doing anything yet, he immediately lost interest and began to wander around the room, looking at all the adults seated at their stations.

Asuka sighed as she kept pace with the boy, remembering that Shinji didn't have her experience with Evangelions. Around this age, she already knew about them and was doing her best to get chosen as the pilot of Unit-02.

The voices of the adults were now seemingly muffled. Their mouths were moving, sound was coming out, but Asuka couldn't make out a single word. It didn't take long for her to realise that it was another artifact of Shinji's memory; while he knew they were talking, he was too young to understand anything. And, she had to admit, if it had been her in the boy's place things would have likely been the same. After all, she wouldn't have had her college degree yet.

After a few minutes a computer screen near the window changed to show Yui Ikari in the entry plug. She was wearing something like a plugsuit, only more bulky around the torso. Yui shifted around in her seat, then announced, "I'm ready in here."

Upon hearing his mother, Shinji moved to stand in front of the computer screen, staring up at it. "Hi Mama!" he called out, eliciting a smile from Yui.

"Hello again dear," she replied.

"This is your last chance to change your mind," Gendo interjected, walking up behind Shinji. "We can still get someone else to do the test."

"No, sweetheart," said Yui, the smile fading as she stared at her husband. "It has to be me. Somebody else might get it wrong."

Gendo sighed. He picked up Shinji and set him on the seat in front of the screen. "Fine, but we're keeping our hand on the shutdown switch. If we even think something is going wrong we're aborting."

"I wouldn't expect any less from you."

The muffled voices returned as the team went through what was most likely an activation test. Knowing she would get no information from them or their computers, Asuka kept her focus on Shinji. He clearly understood something important was going on, his gaze alternating between his mother on the screen and Unit-01, but if he was anxious about what was going on, it didn't show.

And then alarms began to blare.

Muffled voices became muffled shouts, the entire room filling with noise. None of the adults, not even Gendo, were moving; Shinji's attention was fixed firmly on the computer screen and so as far as he was concerned, nothing else in the room even existed.

"M-Mama?" he called out, a tiny hand reaching for the screen.

Yui grimaced, but forced a smile back on her face. "Don't... don't worry about me, Shinji," she said through gritted teeth. "Everything's going to be... okay. This... is the path... to a bright future."

Asuka blinked, then focused intently on Yui's face. Her skin seemed to be... peeling away? Disintegrating? Had the LCL somehow turned acidic and started eating away at her? The pinkness of her skin was steadily being replaced with the red of raw flesh. As Shinji began to cry and shout for his mother, his hands all over the screen as if trying to reach through it, Asuka slapped a hand over her mouth in horror.

The Evangelion was absorbing Yui Ikari.

Her stomach began to roil as the process continued, unable to tear her gaze away from the shocking spectacle even when bone began to appear. But throughout the entire thing, Yui refused to let any pain show, keeping her gaze locked onto her son while being dissolved alive. After what felt like an eternity, something seemed to finally give out as Yui's entire body came apart at the molecular level, and she was no more.

Asuka eventually noticed that her entire body was shaking like a tree in a hurricane. She tore her gaze away from the screen, but it was far, far too late. The rest of the room was silent. Whether due to that being the case back when it actually happened or because Shinji was laser-focused on one thing, it didn't matter-

Shinji...

The crying young boy was screaming at the screen, tearfully begging for his mother to come back. But, Asuka grimly thought, there would be no rescuing Yui Ikari. She was now trapped within Unit-01, alone for a decade until Shinji returned to Tokyo-3 and became its pilot.

Something completely bypassed Asuka's brain, sending her towards the boy. Something made her gently pick young Shinji up, pulling him away from the screen, then turn him around and hug him to her chest. Something made her walk out of that room, not looking back. But as a small pair of arms gingerly wrapped around the back of her neck, she was fairly sure that it was her own decision to slowly rub a hand up and down Shinji's back, and that it was her own decision to let her tears join his.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Shinji," she murmured into his hair. "I'm so... so sorry..."

The boy in her arms gasped, and two red-rimmed eyes looked up at her. "Wh... you..." he stammered, before shaking his head and trying again. "...Who... are you?"

Asuka sighed. "I'm really nobody special," she quietly replied, remaining stoic for his sake. "Just think of me as... a kindred spirit."

...a kindred spirit.

Asuka's head shot up. Someone, or something, had just echoed her words. The corridor was fading into blackness; she turned around, Shinji still held tight in her arms, but there was nothing. Nobody. The memory had... ended? She relaxed a tiny fraction; at this point she wouldn't be surprised if the damn Angel itself decided to pop up to have a chat.

"In that case, you shouldn't be surprised to see me then."

Asuka whirled around. That was definitely a person's voice, and a very familiar one at that. And indeed, as she expected, Kyoko Zeppelin-Soryu was standing there, arms folded in front of her.

"Hello, darling," she said, walking up and placing a hand on Asuka's shoulder. "Sorry it took so long for me to get here. I've been trying to keep you and Shinji-" she glanced at the boy in Asuka's arms before continuing "-protected. Something's happened just now, though, and the Angel's attack has stopped."

"Something?" Asuka echoed. "What kind of something?"

"I can't say," Mama replied with a helpless shrug. "Unit-02's pretty much dead in the water from feedback. Literally all I can sense right now is you two." She cast another glance at young Shinji. The corner of her mouth tilted up the slightest fraction of an inch. "But it looks like you've had an... interesting time."

Asuka looked down at Shinji. He seemed to have frozen, still looking up at her and not reacting to her mother's presence. He was still there, as her arms would attest, but seemingly no longer... active. "I... saw into his past," she said to Mama. "It was... what happened to his mother."

Mama's arms dropped to her sides. "...Oh dear," she murmured. "I'm not going to like what happened, am I?"

Indeed, when Asuka related what she had experienced, it was clear that Mama hated what had occurred. Mama put a hand to her forehead and sighed. "So... that explains a whole hell of a lot."

"What?" Asuka raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Kyoko turned slightly and took a few steps in a random direction, staring at nothing. "My attempt at activating Unit-02 came only a few months after the apparent failure of Unit-01. I thought I had discovered and fixed what went wrong, why Yui had seemingly died in her attempt, and decided to do it 'properly' myself." She stopped, her eyes darting sideways to land on Asuka. "But the thing is... Yui's attempt didn't fail."

Part of Asuka wanted to angrily refute that claim, but the fresh memory of the event held out a hand, presenting crucial evidence. Specifically, Yui Ikari's reaction to what was happening to her. "...She knew what would happen," she slowly said. "Yui wasn't surprised or anything by the Eva absorbing her. She was expecting it."

Mama nodded, a grim smile growing on her face. "That's my daughter. Yes, Yui planned it all like that, because she knew what I only found out after the fact: Evangelions need a human soul in their core, and the pilot connects with that soul in order to be able to control it."

"...Wait a minute," Asuka interrupted, her eyes narrowing. "Something doesn't add up. You're saying you also died trying to activate an Evangelion, right?"

"...Yes?" Mama replied uncertainly. "The last thing I remember before waking up inside Unit-02 was sitting in the entry plug." She tilted her head to one side. "Why?"

Before Asuka could respond, another voice reached their ears.

"Because Asuka remembers your death very differently."

Both redheads turned. Both redheads let out a gasp of surprise.

It was Shinji, staring at Mama with ice in his eyes... and just as Asuka was carrying a young version of him, he was carrying a young version of her.

"Oh... well..." Mama glumly remarked, staring at the girl in his arms. "I do believe things just got a lot more complicated..."

"That's one way of putting it," Shinji remarked with a snort as he walked around Mama to stand next to Asuka. He glanced at her, and at the boy she was carrying, and his cheeks pinked up. "Hi, Asuka. It looks like you've had a similar time to me."

Asuka shakily nodded; he had seen the worst moment of her life when she was younger, and vice versa. Well, if it had to be someone, she was happy -or at least not upset- that it was Shinji. After all, she had been planning to tell him about her past. Eventually. One day. "Yeah," she mumbled, looking at her younger self. "So... you know now... what I went through."

"And, perhaps thanks to you," replied Shinji, rubbing at his forehead, "I now remember my own past."

"...What?" Asuka almost dropped young Shinji in surprise. "You... got your own memory back?!"

"I remember it all now. Even my mother's face." Shinji's mouth turned upward in a bittersweet smile. "And... Asuka?"

Asuka blinked, and his smile... changed, becoming much warmer.

"...Thank you."

"W-what?" she stammered. "I didn't even do anything except watch!"

"No, but..." Shinji pointed his free hand at her. Or to be more specific, his younger self. "Of course, that never happened in reality... but the fact that you did that for... um... sort-of-me... I really appreciate it."

Her face was suddenly hot enough to melt an Evangelion's armour. "U-uh... you're welcome?" She shook her head vigorously as a thought occurred. "Well... in that case!" She got a hand free and returned the favour, pointing at her own younger self. "T-thank you, for looking after not-quite-me."

They stood there for a moment, pointing at each other with a child held to their chest, until a high-pitched sound reminded them that somebody else was in the vicinity. Their hands dropped to their sides for a moment, before quickly moving to support the weight of their respective child and looking at the source of the sound.

Mama, standing there with an ecstatic look on her face, tried to cover herself with a heavy cough. When both teenagers raised an eyebrow at the same time, she shrugged. "I'm sorry, I was trying to keep it in since this is a serious situation, but you two..." She held out both hands, gesturing specifically at the children they were holding. "You just look so... perfect like that!"

Shinji and Asuka glanced at each other, confusion on their faces, until realisation struck Asuka like a charging Angel. Her eyes widened, her head reared back, and she almost let go of the boy in her arms. Yet, despite knowing that the two four-year-olds were nothing more than fragments of terrible pasts that were currently... inactive, she maintained her hold.

"...Oh..." It seemed Shinji took a few seconds longer to work it out, and his face was now as red as her hair. He soon recovered, and looked down at her younger self. "Wait... why are they still here? We're not even in the memories anymore."

"I know more about the Evas than both of you," said Mama, drawing their attention back to her. "But even I can't explain that one. But if I may, can we please get back to something far more important?"

Oh. Right. Asuka readjusted her grip on 'her' child and cleared her throat. "Yes. Let's absolutely discuss that. Shinji." She turned to him, continuing when he made a questioning noise. "You saw... that. In the hospital. But Mama is insisting that she died during Unit-02's activation."

"Yes," agreed Shinji. "You... back then I mean, were going to meet her that day. The memory didn't reveal anything about why she... did that. The only other thing that happened was... ah... noises from the next room."

Asuka's teeth unconsciously gritted in anger, to the point she had to concentrate on forcing them to part. "Yes," she ground out. Looking at Mama, who was staring confusedly back at her, she said, "That bastard father of mine was fucking the nurse assigned to your care when you were admitted."

Kyoko's expression turned so thunderous that Asuka believed she was about to reach backwards in time to rip that asshole's balls off. "He. Did. WHAT?"

The nothingness around them began to shudder like an earthquake for a few seconds, threatening to drop the teenagers on their rear ends, before Mama squeezed her eyes shut and patted the air. "No. No. Not the most important thing right now. Go back to that bit about me having a nurse."

Asuka recovered her footing, and carefully said, "One day you went to work... and then the next thing I knew was that something had happened and you were put into a hospital-"

The nothingness suddenly changed. Blackness gave way to dim light which slowly brightened, casting light on what quickly became a familiar corridor and a familiar door. Asuka and Shinji both looked at each other in shock, but then something inside the room caught her eye. Rather than the silhouette hanging from the ceiling, there was now a figure in the bed, sitting upright but looking down at something in its hands.

Mama turned to look at the figure, eyebrow raised high, and then cautiously walked into the room. Shinji looked about to follow, but then gestured with his head at Asuka that she should enter next. Mirroring her mother's trepidation, Asuka walked into the room that was forever scarred into her mind. She took up a spot next to the bed, barely noticing when Shinji stopped next to her.

The figure on the bed was wreathed in shadow, but there was still enough light to make out who it was: Kyoko Zeppelin-Soryu, but much... less than the real thing. The woman was skinny, the hospital-issue clothing practically hanging off of her, and a once glorious mane of hair haphazardly chopped back to the level of her neck. Seeing her mother's hair desecrated like that had, a decade ago, greatly upset a younger Asuka who had already decided that she wanted her own hair to be as long.

"So..." Mama -the real Mama-, said. "Going by the existence of this memory, you're saying I didn't actually die."

"No," said Asuka, grimly staring at the false Mama. "But you... changed. Badly. You... didn't seem to recognise me anymore." She pointed at the thing in the memory-woman's hands. "You started calling that Asuka."

Mama leaned in close, and faded light began to illuminate the object. Shinji was quick to react, gasping in shock before looking down at the girl in his arms. The thing was a doll, clad in a red dress with a head of long red hair, with blue buttons for eyes. Both Shinji and Mama turned their heads to look at Asuka. Mama looked quizzical, but Shinji seemed... horrified?

"Yeah," she muttered. "You believed that that doll was me. And no matter how much I begged and pleaded, you only saw me as a stranger."

"I... I don't remember any of this," Mama murmured. "Like I said, the last thing I remember was doing the test and then waking up trapped in the Eva. How did- ugh!"

She suddenly clasped a hand to her head, grunting in pain. Asuka tore her gaze away from that damn doll, quickly freeing up a hand to place on her mother's shoulder. "Mama? What's wrong?!"

"D... d... don't..." Mama's other hand was tightly clenching the rail at the end of the hospital bed, and her eyes were clenched shut. "Don't... d... di..."

Both Shinji and Asuka recoiled when her head suddenly shot up, her eyes now open and glowing a harsh yellow.

"̴̧̧͚͚͈̐D̵̻͌͆́͊i̶͎͐̏̒͂é̸̙͔ ̶̡͍̙͉͙̎͠w̷͕͔̩̞̓̈͝į̷̰̖̟̬͠ţ̶̹̰͐͗h̷̨͕̽ ̶͍̯̩̿͛̿̐m̵̥̂͛̄̀͑e̸̟̝͙̱̹͒͗̓͆̂!̴̯̹̆"̶͓̇ͅͅ

"Mama?!"

"Ms Soryu?!"

Mama -was it really her now?- hissed softly, giving Asuka a smile that was probably supposed to be friendly. She opened her mouth and said, in a voice like static, "̶D̶e̶a̶r̷,̶ ̶s̴w̵e̷e̶t̸ ̴A̸s̴u̸k̸a̵,̸ ̴m̷y̴ ̴d̷a̵r̷l̸i̸n̶g̵ ̸g̶i̶r̴l̴.̷ ̷W̴o̸n̴'̷t̷ ̸y̷o̴u̵ ̵d̷o̵ ̴y̷o̵u̸r̷ ̵m̸o̴t̶h̸e̷r̶ ̷a̵ ̴f̵a̸v̵o̴u̵r̷ ̵a̴n̵d̶ ̷d̶i̶e̶ ̵w̷i̵t̶h̴ ̷m̸e̴?̸"̶

"W-what?!" Asuka yelped, backing away from... whatever her mother had suddenly turned into. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shinji carefully edge towards and in front of her, turning his body so that his left side was facing Mama and the younger version of herself was shielded. "Die? What are you saying?!"

Mama slowly advanced on the two of them, but her yellow eyes were now completely focused on Asuka. "̶D̸o̸n̴'̶t̴ ̴y̴o̵u̶ ̴w̷a̵n̶t̴ ̷t̷o̷ ̴b̸e̶ ̶w̸i̷t̵h̷ ̴m̵e̶ ̷f̷o̸r̶e̴v̷e̴r̵,̴ ̴d̶e̸a̴r̵-̵d̸e̸a̵r̵-̶d̴e̸a̷r̵-̷d̸e̶a̶r̷-̵"̸

Her head jerked backwards like somebody had just punched her, and for a split second Asuka thought that Shinji had been the one to do it. But then Mama grabbed her head with both hands and shouted in agony, dropping to one knee. Asuka remained where she was, still struggling to understand what was going on.

Shinji glanced back at her, panicked confusion on his face, and all Asuka could do was shrug in response.

"A... Asuka..."

This voice was not static; it was her voice once more. "...Mama? Is that you?"

"Y-yes," Mama groaned, one hand fumbling for purchase on the bed while the other rubbed at her eyes. "I... that was..." The hand on her face fell away, and her eyes slowly opened.

About to run up and check on her, Asuka quickly stopped in her tracks. Mama's left eye was blue like it should have been, but the other was rapidly flickering between blue and the ugly yellow it had been a moment ago.

"I'm... sorry to scare you like that," said Mama, finally levering herself unsteadily to her feet. "But at least now... now I know what's going on here." She turned around to stare at the copy of herself on the bed. "So. I didn't quite die in Unit-02. At least, not fully."

"Are you alright, ma'am?" Shinji asked, his stance still wary. "You scared us quite a bit there."

Out of pure reflex, Asuka took a step back when Mama rounded on them. Her right eye was still flickering, but the blue seemed to be slowly winning. And... was there a slight echo in Mama's voice now? "Asuka, my darling... I am so sorry for what I- what part of me did to you."

Asuka cautiously took a few steps forward. "W... what do you mean? And what just happened?"

"First things first." Mama squeezed her eyes shut again, but a second later they were open once more. The yellow was completely gone from her right eye, but that did not do much to comfort Asuka, especially since that echo still seemed to be in her voice. "Okay. So... I appear to have two separate sets of memories crawling around in my head. This memory of yours, Asuka, seemed to trigger that second set and force it to the surface."

"Second set," Shinji echoed, glancing between Mama and the woman on the bed. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Do you mean you just remembered... everything that happened in this hospital?"

Mama nodded sadly, and waved a hand at the bed. "Yes. Some part of my mind continued on in my body when I-" she gestured at herself, "-was taken into Unit-02. And in those memories..."

She paused, looking back at the bed for a moment before striding over to it and ripping the doll out of the memory-woman's hands. She held it in front of her, disappointment on her face. "I... believed that this doll really was Asuka. Those memories aren't of a doll, they are of... well..."

Shinji looked down at the frozen girl in his arms. "You could literally only see the real Asuka, while everyone else saw a doll."

"That..." Asuka began, her words catching in her throat. "...That was why you... she... thought I was a stranger?"

"Precisely, darling." Mama tossed the doll back on the bed and quickly moved to stand in front of Asuka, Shinji quick to get out of the way. "You were somebody trying to tell me my daughter was fake. But I could see Asuka right in front of me. What else could I do but ignore that apparently crazy person?" She wrapped her arms around Asuka, strangely mindful of the child she was holding, enveloping her in the first real hug Asuka had received from her mother in a decade.

Well. For a given value of 'real'.

"Asuka, please forgive me," Mama begged, the corners of her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Right when you needed me most, I turned away from you. I ended up traumatising you."

"M-Mama..."

Around them, almost going unnoticed, the hospital room began to fade back into blackness. Asuka got one hand free to return the hug. "Please... Mama," she replied, trying to hold back her own tears. "You truly believed you were looking after me. I... can't really fault you for that."

"Um..."

Shinji's voice drew the attention of mother and daughter; he flinched slightly under their attention. "Sorry," he said, glancing away for a moment at where the hospital bed had been. "But something doesn't make sense now. I don't mean the whole two minds thing, it's just..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. His expression was unreadable.

"Why did you commit suicide, Ms Soryu?"

Asuka, staring at Shinji, felt her mother slowly let go of her, and she let her own arm return to her side.

"I-I mean," Shinji stammered, now looking like he was getting ready to run. "If you thought you were still looking after Asuka, why would you kill yourself?

"I... I'm sorry," said Mama. "But... I don't really know. My memories of that time slowly get more and more... fragmented. Lesser. All I can clearly remember is Asuka; nothing about what's happening... around her, so to speak."

Shinji seemed like he was about to respond, but his mouth remained closed. Perhaps he thought he'd tried to dig enough into their past.

"Wait," Mama suddenly said, holding a hand to her head. Her right eye began to flicker yellow again, causing a wave of worry to wash over Asuka. "I think I remember... something..."

"Don't try and force yourself to remember," warned Shinji. "I... learned that the hard way," he added with an embarrassed glance at Asuka.

"No no, it's... almost..." Mama tilted her head from side to side as if trying to physically dislodge the memory. "Asuka's there... or the doll... I'm standing up... no, standing on something. There's something around my neck... and I'm putting something around As- the doll's neck. Oh no..." She paled considerably, her eyes nervously darting to Asuka, the right flickering yellow more and more. "No. I wouldn't... I couldn't..."

"Mama, please!" Asuka urgently exclaimed. "You-... she-... you weren't mentally stable!"

"Ms Soryu!" Shinji added his own voice. "You don't have to keep going!"

"I..." Mama blinked several times, the flickering of her right eye fading. "No... you're right... the mind itself isn't easily explainable. It could have been anything."

"And you shouldn't be trying to relive your own death!" said Asuka.

Mama closed her eyes, letting out a long breath. "Yes, and besides, I-"

When the pause started to get concerning, Asuka hesitantly called out, "...Mama?"

Mama's right eye slammed open, glowing completely yellow once more. Asuka jumped backwards, half-noticing Shinji shift into the same left-facing stance as before.

"̵̷̵I̵̵̷ ̵̷̸w̸i̸l̴l̷ ̷k̷e̴e̷p̸ ̴̵̶y̶̸̵o̷̵̷u̷̶̵ ̴s̴a̶f̷e̶,̵̴" the woman intoned, her voice again static, but she was unmoving, staring at nothing. "̷T̴h̵e̷y̸ ̵w̴a̵n̵t̴ ̵t̴o̴ ̸t̷a̷k̶e̶ ̸y̴o̸u̶ ̷f̴r̵o̴m̶ ̴m̸e̴.̶ ̸B̶u̴t̸ ̴w̴e̸ ̷w̵i̷l̸l̶ ̵b̸e̴ ̶t̴o̴g̸e̷t̸h̵e̷r̶ ̷f̶o̷r̵e̷v̷e̴r̵,̵ ̶m̸y̷ ̵d̷a̸r̷l̵i̶n̸g̶.̸ ̶J̷u̶s̵t̶ ̷c̸o̵m̷e̶ ̸h̴e̸r̴e̴,̷ ̸l̵e̴t̵ ̶m̴e̷ ̷h̴e̸l̶p̶ ̸y̶o̵u̵.̶"̸

Her left eye opened. It was still blue. Her voice, while no longer static, still sounded... strange. "I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't get myself to stop moving. The noose is already there, but I don't remember making one. Why do I know how to make one? I'm trying to stop myself from standing on the chair, but-"

"̶A̷s̸u̵k̵a̷ ̵̵̷i̶s̷ ̴̵̸b̴e̵i̷n̶g̸ ̶̶̸s̵a̸v̸e̵d̵.̵ ̴S̷h̷e̵ ̶s̴t̴a̷r̷e̴s̴ ̶a̴t̴ ̵m̶e̴ ̴a̵s̸ ̷I̷ ̸p̵r̷e̴p̶a̸r̶e̴ ̸m̸y̶s̷e̷l̸f̴.̸ ̶I̴ ̵t̴r̷y̸ ̶t̶o̵ ̶m̶o̵v̸e̸ ̵m̴y̶ ̴f̴o̶o̷t̸ ̷t̴o̶ ̸p̴u̶s̴h̸ ̸t̶h̷e̵ ̸c̴h̴a̴i̴r̷ ̸o̵u̷t̶ ̵o̵f̷ ̵t̸h̴e̶ ̷w̷a̷y̷.̴.̸.̴ ̷b̷u̸t̶ ̸s̸o̵m̵e̵t̵h̷i̴n̷g̷ ̵i̷s̴ ̷s̵t̴o̶p̵p̶i̷n̴g̴ ̴i̷t̵.̸ ̵I̶ ̶c̸a̵n̸n̸o̶t̷ ̵m̷o̷v̶e̸ ̶m̷y̶ ̷l̵e̶g̷s̵.̶"̴

"I almost faint with relief. I've managed to stop myself. But Asuka isn't moving. I reach out to her, trying to get her out of the noose, but it's too tight. I can't fit her head through it. I try and try and-"

Mama's entire body suddenly jerked. "The chair! I didn't move my legs but the chair just suddenly moved! I kick my feet around, trying to find it, or reach something so I can get out of the noose, but-"

"̶S̸o̶m̸e̷t̸h̷i̵n̶g̸ ̶i̸s̴ ̸h̸o̶l̷d̸i̷n̶g̵ ̸m̷y̵ ̸l̶e̵g̴s̷.̵"̸

Shinji and Asuka stared at each other, an iceberg forming in her stomach and horror written all over his face.

Did... did somebody make Mama commit suicide?!

Mama groaned heavily, both hands holding her head again. With a gasp, her eyes closed and opened, and the yellow was gone. "Oh," she muttered once she could speak again. "God. Fucking. Damnit."

The ground rumbled again; Asuka understood the feeling completely. She wanted to find out who had taken advantage of her mother and then crush them slowly in Unit-02's fist.

A hand landed on her shoulder, and Asuka almost turned her rage on the perpetrator. She stopped herself just in time from sending a fist directly into Shinji's face. Shinji, to his credit, hardly even flinched at her expression. "Asuka," he said. His voice was low, but Asuka could sense the barely concealed hatred in it. "Store that anger for later. For now, just hug your mother."

With a jolt, Asuka realised that Mama was now somewhat folding in on herself, sinking down to the ground and wrapping her arms around her legs. She took a breath, doing as Shinji suggested and locking the anger away so it could be used later. She then handed him his own younger-

The child had vanished.

Asuka blinked, staring at her empty hands and then around the void surrounding them, and Shinji mirrored her upon realising that the younger girl had also disappeared. Once more, puzzled looks were exchanged, but Asuka swiftly put that aside. There was no point in focusing on something like that when a very real person needed her.

Kneeling down next to Mama, Asuka gently forced her arms apart so that she could slip in between them. She glanced back at Shinji, and for some unknown reason she gestured with a quick tilt of her head for him to join them. Shinji, in response, paled and held up both hands, but after a moment's thought he came over to sit next to them. Asuka, half-searching her mind for why she had tried to include him in the hug,accepted his show of support with a weak smile.

The ground rumbled yet again, but there was something different about it this time. Mama looked upwards. "Somebody is accessing the entry plug manual release system," she dully said. "...I guess our time here is about to come to an end."

Asuka cursed, almost wishing the ground could shake for her as well. But then Shinji surprised her with what he said next. "Good." At her narrowed eyes, he hurriedly added, "I mean, after everything we've just been through, I think we need some time to... work through it all."

Asuka held the stare for a moment longer, before conceding the point with a nod. "Yeah, I suppose you're right." She glanced at Mama. "But... what about you? Will you be alright?"

"Don't worry about me, darling," Mama replied. "I've been mostly alone with my thoughts for a decade. These new ones are just going to be... stranger to deal with. But I'll manage."

With a massive amount of reluctance, Asuka let go of her mother and stood up. Shinji got to his feet as well, standing next to her.

"Ms Soryu," he said, bowing to Mama. "Thank you very much for doing all you could to protect us from the Angel."

Mama snorted bemusedly as she got to her feet. "I wouldn't be much of an Evangelion if I didn't protect my pilots. Now go. Get out of here you two."

Asuka slowly turned away, trying to keep Mama in her sight for as long as possible, before walking away into the nothingness. After a moment she realised Shinji was nowhere to be seen and she sighed.

Evangelions were so, so goddamn confusing.

XXX

"Shinji, a moment please?"

"Huh?"

Shinji turned around to face Ms Soryu, and then turned around again when he realised Asuka had vanished. The woman waved a hand. "Don't worry, I just want to talk to you in private for a moment."

Uneasiness began to gnaw away at the inside of Shinji's stomach. "Um... what about, ma'am?"

"I think you know."

The unease ripped a chunk out of his torso and began chewing contentedly. "A...about Asuka?"

"Yes." Almost all traces of what they had just witnessed were seemingly gone, but there was still some haggardness on Ms Soryu's face as she stared at him. "I've seen enough from both of you to know that something big is going on between the two of you." She raised a hand to forestall any interruption. "And I just want you to know... that I approve."

His eyes widened in surprise. "You... um... you mean..."

"If you are serious about seeking a romantic relationship with my daughter, then you may proceed. And since I know you aren't the type to just be wanting to get into her panties, I don't need to give you the whole 'I am an Evangelion and I can make you suffer' speech to try and scare you." Ms Soryu grinned slightly as Shinji paled.

"Y-yes, ma'am," he stammered. "I will not do anything that would hurt Asuka."

"I know," Ms Soryu repeated. "But I want you to promise me something else, Something much more important."

Shinji nodded. "Anything for her."

"Anything?" Ms Soryu raised an eyebrow. "How serious about 'anything' are you?"

Taking a deep breath, Shinji stood as straight as he could. "Ms Soryu, I would sooner die than let any harm come to your daughter."

The other eyebrow raised. "Now that... is a big promise. A lot can happen in fights involving Evangelions. You would jump in front of an Angel to save her without hesitation?"

"I probably wouldn't even have time to think about hesitating," replied Shinji. "If she's in danger, I will protect her."

"You are... surprisingly noble, Shinji Ikari," Ms Soryu remarked. "But here's what I want you to promise me." She leaned in close enough that their foreheads were almost touching. "I want you to end anything that harms my daughter."

Shinji blinked slowly, unable to speak as the scary woman who could make the ground shake stood upright. "Of course, that means having to beat me to the punch, but I'm just trying to ensure her safety no matter what happens."

"Like I said, Ms Soryu." Shinji clenched his right fist. "Anything for her."

"That's my boy," Ms Soryu said, causing him to blush. "Now get on out of here. Oh, and tell Yui I said hello."

Shinji opened his mouth to say goodbye, but he suddenly found himself floating in midair, drifting away from Asuka's mother. Some unseen force was turning his body around, pushing him into a sort of supine position. Belatedly, he realised he could feel something on his back, and when he tried to reach to feel what it was he saw his hand clad in a familiar blue and white material.

He blinked, and suddenly the blackness was replaced with the interior of an entry plug, lit dull red by emergency lighting. Behind him, he could hear Asuka sitting up and he did the same. They faced each other, unreadable expressions on both their faces.

Without a word spoken, they both got out of their seats and stood as best as they could in the entry plug, so close their foreheads were almost touching. Hesitantly, they reached out their arms, shying away slightly as they almost made contact. Their expressions changed, eyes slowly starting to brim with tears as each vividly remembered what the other had suffered through and how similar it was to their own life, and some courage was found. Blue-clad arms met at the back of the girl's plugsuit, and red-clad arms desperately clung to the boy.

The entry plug hatch opened, but neither of them were awake to notice it; fatigue had already claimed them. Despite the efforts of several medics, they could not be pried apart without risking injury, and ended up being placed on a single gurney to be returned to NERV.

Not a single person commented on it as the pilots were extracted and sent off to the Geofront. The two of them had been through hell numerous times before, and by all accounts this attack had been far worse. If two scarred teenagers found some semblance of solace in each other's arms, that was none of their business.