It's a capital shame, but it's true that I can't get along without you.
My lips move along with the song thrumming in my ears, a song that had been a huge part of my childhood. A fond smile is splayed across my features as I draw up memories that live in the most treasured section of my mental library.
I vividly see my father dropping everything else he was busy with and grab my unsuspecting mother from behind as soon as Capital Shame starts playing on the radio, spinning her away from the sink and dirty dishes with practiced ease.
I see the tiny version of myself dressed in my denim dungarees following their rhythmic movements through every room of the house, my mother's joyful laughter echoed in my childlike giggles. I remember how those moments had made me believe in love and made me yearn to have it for myself one day.
My trip down memory lane is halted by the buzz of my phone in my back pocket. I pause my task of setting the final pole in place in the broken fence where Rachel had come in and remove the demanding piece of technology.
[14:30] Angelgirl08: I finally got round to listening to it now.
[14:31] Haught(givemea)shot: Aaaand, what did you think?
[14:32] Angelgirl08: It's a really beautiful song! Added it to my playlist to be listened on repeat, as it deserves.
[14:34] Haught(givemea)shot: Yeah, it's kind of a gem, ain't it? It was my parents' wedding song. I am pretty sure no one younger than the age of 45 will recognize it.
[14:35] Angelgirl08: Your parents had great taste! It's like a unicorn of songs, haha. I literally had to search the archives on YouTube to find it. According to Spotify, Deezer and Google Music the Tarney/Spencer Band does not exist. Which is ridiculous! I listened to a couple of their other songs too, which were also great.
[14:37] Haught(givemea)shot: I am proud to have made a groupie out of you, then! They only ever released three LPs, sadly.
[14:38] Angelgirl08: Well THAT is a capital shame.
Pretty sure my nasal cavities will be cleared for the next 20 years with the amount of snort laughter Angelgirl has me doing. This humorous, charming girl has me feelings feels that little dungaree'd me had only ever dreamed about. The thought is both exhilarating and terrifying.
[14:40] Haught(givemea)shot: OMG. Did you just pun the song? Pretty sure I am in love with you rn.
[14:41] Angelgirl08: Mmm well sorry to disappoint, Romeo. I am not yet convinced that love exists. So, no dates for you yet.
[14:41] Haught(givemea)shot: You wound me, Angelgirl! 'Tis but a flesh wound!'
[14:42] Angelgirl08: Nice quote! My sister loves Monty Python. I used to watch it with her all the time, even though it's really not my thing at all.
The past tense leaves a tangible somberness to the text. My curiosity to learn as much as possible about this girl motivates the letters below my fingers.
[14:43] Haught(givemea)shot: Your sister sounds really cool; I think we would get along well. I notice you said used to? Did she get bored of ole Monty?
Five minutes pass without response before my phone buzzes.
[14:48] Angelgirl08: No. I think she just got bored of me. She kind of disappeared on me when I needed her most.
I run my lip through my teeth as I consider her reply. It would seem that there was some kind of painful history between Angelgirl and her sister. I can't help but remember how her reasons for no longer believing in love had been constant disappointment. I suspect her sister might have played a role in that.
[14:51] Haught(givemea)shot: Well, that really sucks. I think anyone who would just leave someone as special as you, are missing out on a whole lot of magic. So, it is her loss.
[14:52] Angelgirl08: You don't even know me. I could be a murderer.
I release a breath of exasperation. How could she not know how wonderful she is? After a moment of contemplation, I decide to take the plunge and risk bleeding my heart in the hopes of showing her the wonderful love can be. With a deep breath I move my fingers swiftly across the keyboard.
[14:54] Haught(givemea)shot: It's difficult to explain, but I just have this feeling in my gut when we text. I can tell you are extraordinary. You have me snorting with laughter constantly with your witty responses. I also know for a fact that you are intelligent and deeply emotional; if your love for Maya Angelou is anything to go by. And even if you did murder someone, the above stated is enough for me to still think you are amazing. Besides, everyone makes mistakes and should be forgiven. Even murderers.
When I do not receive a response after 5 minutes, I take breath to stem the nervous electricity pulsing through my muscles and type another message.
[14:59] Haught(givemea)shot: Look, I know the internet can be full of creeps. Heck, for all you know I could be a 50-year-old pedo or something. So, you don't have to believe anything else I say, but believe me when I say that I know you are a good person. Not just everyone would care enough to sit through a movie that they do not like just because it makes someone else happy. You clearly love your sister very much. And Sometimes the people we love disappoint us, trust me I know. But if we don't keep loving them, they may never reach a point where they want to be better again. I believe your sister will come back one day, don't give up.
After hitting send I feel like a weight has been lifted from the most honest part of my heart. The feeling can only be described as that of jumping off of a cliff with complete faith that you will not fall.
Another ten minutes pass without a response, so I return to the fencework to keep my mind from overthinking. It is only when I have done the last of the wiring, 30 minutes later, when my phone buzzes again.
[15:40] Angelgirl08: I really hope you are not a 50-year-old pedo, because that was really sweet.
[15:42] Angelgirl08: Seriously though, thanks for what you said. It means more than you can ever know. It is helping me see some perspective, to have hope. Hope that perhaps love might just still be worth keeping in my heart.
Her words have me smile so wide that Batman might mistake me for the Joker if he had to see me. I had risked jumping and it had paid off. I feel the edge of the cliff start giving way to the lightness of air. And maybe, just maybe, I would not be the only one leaving the cliff behind for something that could be magical.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
I enter the kitchen to get something to sooth my parched throat when a very disgruntled Nedley practically barrels into me.
"Woah, where is the hold up?" I tell him, holding my hands up comically. The action seems to succeed in getting the old man's tense posture to relax ever so slightly. He runs his hand through his thinning hair and releases a frustrated sigh.
"Sorry, Nicole. I am just really frustrated and feeling at a bit of a loss." He grumbles, going to grab himself a leftover tuna mayo sandwich from the fridge.
I grab a glass for myself and a plate for him from the cupboard next to the sink. I hand him the plate which he accepts gratefully, transferring two of the sandwiches over to it. As he takes a seat at the table I turn to the sink and fill my glass with tap water.
"Rachel giving you trouble?" I ask when I turn back to face Nedley. I lean against the sink counter as I watch him practically inhale his first sandwich, crumbs left in the wake of his destruction littering his grey beard.
After chewing three times before swallowing, stemming my fears that he might choke, he looks up to me.
"You know, you would think that after all these years and with you lot, I would be experienced in handling troubled teenagers. But Rachel is turning out be another stubborn mule. Even more than you were." He says with a grimace, taking a bite of his second sandwich.
I give him a sheepish smile, remembering how difficult I had been when first coming to Joy Farm. "Yeah well, you should know that eventually your kindness wins. No matter how tough we are."
"I don't know, kid. This one is making me doubt that. I think she needs to talk to someone who she can relate to."
"You want me to go talk to her." I state more than ask.
He gives me a sheepish smile, wiping the crumbs off his beard with a napkin. "Would ya? I figured it would be easier for you to get through to her, you two having similar experiences and all that."
I release a good-natured sigh. "Yeah, okay. I'll try and get her to talk. The Haught charm is very irresistible after all." I tell him with a smirk. He just rolls his eyes at me with a smile as he takes another bite of his sandwich. "Thanks, kid. If we can get her to talk, we can figure out how to help her."
I nod in understanding and drown my glass, turning around to face the sink again. As I put my glass down, I notice Waverly standing outside the corral. I feel my throat go dry all over again when my eyes roam over her body. She wears a faded blue pair of skinny jeans and those damn cowboy boots. What she is also wearing is my Wombats T-shirt. That fact makes my heart do parkour against my ribcage.
I watch as she holds a piece of apple out to Eos, who greedily gobbles it up from her hand. Waverly giggles and the carefree look on her face makes the parkour going on in my chest turn into a flash mob of butterflies radiating warmth and comfort. I watch them for a few more seconds before tearing my eyes away and heading to Nedley's office, where we have been keeping Rachel. Steeling myself, I turn the nob and open the door.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
It has been 15 minutes. 15 minutes of complete silence. With the exception of my initial greeting and attempts at conversation, no words were uttered between myself and the stubborn girl sitting behind Nedley's desk like she friggin' owns the place.
Currently we were just staring at each other, trying to get the other to blink. You can practically hear the wild west standoff tune playing in the atmosphere surrounding us. I feel my eye twitch and betray me as I give in to the undeniable urge to blink. I watch in annoyance as Rachel's mouth turns up into a victorious smirk.
I decide to change tact, removing my Stetson and running my hand through my hair with a sigh. "All right, kid. Listen up. We want to help you, but to do that we need you to tell us why you are stealing drugs. So why don't you stop with the games and just tell us why so this ordeal can be over for all of us?"
For a moment her mouth moves and it looks like she is about to speak, but then she pauses and releases a clearly fake yawn. Her eyes spark with challenge, causing me to release a growl.
I am about to get up and give her a piece of my mind when there is a knock on the door. It opens to reveal Waverly Earp carrying a tray of coffee. At the sight of her, the frustration seems to seep out of every cell in my body, being replaced with sparks of excitement.
She looks a little out of place, holding the tray awkwardly as she remains in the doorway. "Uh, Chrissy made coffee and told me to bring you some." She says, tucking a lose strand of her honey brown locks behind her ear. My eyes follow the motion, captivated by it.
The sound of someone clearing their throat, which sounds suspiciously like the self-proclaimed mute behind Nedley's desk, shakes me from my daze. I get up and go to grab the tray from the brunette.
"Hey, uh, Waverly. Thanks." I say awkwardly as I take her burden from her. She nods and moves to exit when the sound of the mute finally speaking causes her to pause and turn around.
"Okay, I just have to ask. Is this place some kind of island for misfit toys or something? There's you" Rachel points to me. 'Then I get woken up by that nerdy dude this morning in the shed, and now there's this chick.' She points towards Waverly. "Pretty sure you are not all related, if the googly eyes and sexual tension between you two is anything to go by."
I feel heat creep up my neck and avoid looking over at Waverly, but I can practically feel her stiffen. Oh no, here it comes. With a clench of her jaw the brunette walks over to the desk, placing her hands firmly onto the surface and looking Rachel dead in the eyes.
I quickly walk closer to Waverly, preparing for any attempts of potential murder that might occur here today.
"Listen here. I don't know who the hell you think you are, kid, but you don't get to call us misfits. You don't know shit about me." She pauses to glance back towards me. "And there is no sexual tension." Speak for yourself. I think with a huff, feeling disappointment flooding me for reasons I cannot explain.
Rachel just wears a knowing smirk on her face. "Whatever you say." She raises herself up in her chair and meets Waverly's gaze head on before whispering "Miss fit."
I only barely manage to restrain a fuming Waverly in the nick of time before she could grab Rachel by the throat.
"That's enough Rachel. Stop with the name calling. Waverly is new to Joy Farm just like you. Nedley takes in kids who have troubled lives and gives us a stable home to grow into better people. We aren't misfits, we are people who knows what it's like to go through shit and we don't need any more from you." I tell her with firmness and a stop-your-bullshit tone.
I feel Waverly relax in my grip and watch as Rachel seems to let down her guard for the first time. As the tension finally seems to exit the room, I release the brunette in my arms.
Waverly releases a huff and goes towards the door, but once again Rachel gives us both pause. "So what are your stories then? Why are you here?"
I hear Waverly release a growl as she turns the door knob to leave. Feeling this might be the only chance at an in with Rachel, I make the decision to be totally transparent.
"I tell you what, Rachel. I'll tell you my story. Everything, all the hard shit. But only on the condition that you promise to share yours too." I put my offer on the table, knowing it was the only ace I had to play to get Rachel to talk.
The young girl seems to scan my face for any hints of what I can only assume is deception. Once she finally seems satisfied, she gives me a brief nod of agreement. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I notice Waverly still standing at the door, her hand pausing on the handle as she glances at me with curious eyes. I give her a small smile.
"You can stay if you want, Waves." I say this with no hints of doubt in my voice, conveying to her that I trust her, that I would like her to know the parts of me that is the most heart breaking.
I watch as she slowly removes her hand from the door handle, and walks over to the desk. She grabs a cup of coffee from the table and takes a seat on the sofa against the wall on the opposite side of the room.
I take a deep breath, stealing my heart to finally revisit the painful ghosts from my past.
"This all starts with a love story, the story of my parents…"
