The rush of rain in my ears drown out any other sound as I stand frozen in the tundra of my past. My clothes start to cling to my body, soaked through, and an involuntary shiver runs up my spine. But the only thing that I can register is the moment my life went to hell. It replays and replays, stabbing my heart over and over…
Suddenly I feel a warm hand grip my icy one. A gentle voice breaks through the rain, through the onslaught of thoughts that threaten to destroy me, and it's filled with such warmth that I feel my numb heart slowly start to thaw.
"Nicole, you aren't alone. We are here for you. I am here for you. Let me help, please." The gentleness with which Waverly speaks leads me away from the jagged edges threatening to rip apart my fragile heart, the light of it guides me out of the troubled waters flooding my memory banks. I chance a look at her, nodding slowly. I don't speak, fearing the sorrow that would cross my lips.
A clap of thunder resounds through the night sky, causing Waverly to jump and grip my arm. The pressure of it sends a lightning bolt completely unrelated to the weather right up my arm, kickstarting my heart.
"The barn." I choke out, finally able to form words. The girl next to me nods and starts pulling me in the direction of the building.
Waverly hurriedly pushes me inside and shuts the door behind us just as the sky lights up with lightening. I keep my eyes trained on the fierce girl who had gotten herself soaked to the bone just to help me out. She puts on the barn light. Then her eyes look around until they land on an old towel hanging near the tractor.
I watch as she grabs it and, instead of drying herself off, she starts patting me with it. I am baffled that the usually angry girl is making me her priority when she herself must be freezing. As she goes in for yet another pat, I gently grab her hand.
She looks up at me with surprise. I watch as the surprise in her hazel eyes melt, replaced with an intensity that makes me feel like I need to run right back into the rain before the heat of it consumes me.
I swallow and clear my throat from the heavy cobwebs spun by too much emotion. I nod my head toward the far side of the barn. "The cabinet at the back… it has some more towels and blankets." I say, my own voice sounding foreign. Waverly nods and goes over to the cabinet, removing a towel and two blankets.
She once again puts me first, covering my shoulders with one of the blankets. When she is finally satisfied that I was warm, she starts running the towel over her soaked honey brown locks.
I am mesmerized by her movements, the way the muscles in her arms contract and how her shirt sticks to her body. I feel my heart start beating out its resurrection as I stare, helpless to the magnetism of Waverly Earp's effortless beauty.
A strand of her hair sticks to her side profile and I have to fight the sudden urge to walk over and move it behind her ear. She turns her head to look over at me as she continues toweling the moisture from her wet locks. Her eyes fill with concern as she straightens back up. "How are you feeling?" She asks, her voice gentle and soft. The tone I usually use when trying to calm a distressed animal.
"I… feel better, thank you. I… I am sorry about that. I just…" I look down, rambling as emotion catches the words in my throat. Waverly Earp once again saves me.
"Hey, It's okay. You don't have to explain. I get it." She says, dropping the towel and covering her own shoulders with the other blanket.
"You get it?" I ask, the question catalyzed by my curiosity about her life. She nods, walking over to one of the haybales next to me. She takes a seat and finally moves the stray strand that drove me crazy behind her ear.
She looks at me, sadness marring her pretty face. "I am really sorry about what happened to your mom. Losing a parent… it really sucks. Especially if it's a good one. One that doesn't choose to leave you."
At my questioning gaze Waverly gives me a sad smile. "My mom left me when I was just 4 years old. She was, as my sister would say, too wild to be tied to a child. She just walked out the door one day, willingly leaving us behind for a life free to do as she pleased. We got no further communication from her, no calls, not even a letter to explain herself." Her jaw clenches and her brow furrows with the pain of abandonment. My own heart cries out with the sorrow and anger I feel at the thought of someone leaving Waverly.
"Shit, Waves. I am so sorry. That's… that's awful." I look down shamefully, my words feel so lame and useless.
Waverly shakes her head at me. "No, it's nothing in comparison to what you had to go through. My mother chose to walk away from me. Yours wanted to be with you, she actually loved you, and was taken from you during a time when a daughter needs her mom most." My eyes whip to hers when she releases a sniffle, her voice full of raw emotion. She was crying. For me. For my hurt. My feet move automatically in her direction. I sit down and put my arms around her.
"Waves, what your mother did… that's terrible. No one deserves that. Besides, anyone who would willingly leave you would be missing out on a whole lot of magic. It's her loss." Waverly stiffens at my words.
"Those words they…" She looks up at me with a look of surprise. She seems to contemplate something, a look of confusion washing over her features.
"Waves?" I ask, confused by her sudden change in demeanor. She looks away from me and shakes her head. "Sorry, it's nothing. I just got a bit of Deja vu."
Unsure of what to make of that I just nod at her slowly. "I meant what I said though, your mom was wrong. I hope you know it was not because of you, it was never your fault."
Waverly's jaw clenches as she releases a breath. "I know." She looks up at me with a small smile. "Thanks, Nicole."
I grab her hand and give it a squeeze. "No problem. Besides, I should be the one thanking you. A moment ago, I was about to die from hypothermia. But then you got me to shelter. My hero."
I watch in delight as a red shading dusts Waverly's cheeks at my praise. I managed to make the angry girl blush. Who knew? Haught still got it! I mentally high five myself, my heart feeling much lighter again.
Curious to learn more about Waverly now that I finally had her talking, I risk another question. "Did you live with your dad after your mom left?"
Waverly's body goes rigid next to me, causing alarm bells to go off. "Uh yeah. My sister and I had to live with… him." The way she hesitates and then spits out the pronoun like it was a piece of rotten food she wished to rid her mouth of, adds sirens to the alarm bells. I swallow down the bad feeling.
"Waves, did your dad…?"
The girl next to me let's go of my hand, holding onto herself as she starts violently shaking. I hurriedly grab her, steadying her in my embrace. "He… I… didn't mean to."
"Hey, I am sorry. Shhh, you don't have to answer that." She continues shaking uncontrollably so I hurriedly change tact. "How about I tell you about what happened with my dad, huh?" I feel her relax slightly as she nods into my neck. I move back to look at her before taking a breath, ready to dive right back into my pain if it meant I could keep her from reliving hers.
"After my mom… died, things changed a lot. Especially between my dad and I. He was completely devasted, having lost the love of his life. He threw himself into his work at the police department. He didn't speak to me or so much as look at me. I figured it was because it reminded him too much of her. So in a way, I lost two parents that day."
"Oh Nicole…" Waverly mumbles, I avoid her eyes. I wasn't ready to see them sad again.
"I started losing myself too. I used to be a straight A student, but my grades started slipping after it happened. I wouldn't pay any attention in classes, sometimes I wouldn't even go to school at all, sneaking off to spend my day rock climbing. That was the one thing I had left of my normal life, the rock climbing. It helped keep my mind from everything else I didn't want to think about."
I feel a hand gently grasp mine. I grip it back tightly, giving Waverly a grateful smile. "Eventually, I got caught out. Dad found me at one of our climbing spots and demanded that I get down and go back to school, that mom would not want this for me. It was the most words he had spoken to me in a long time. I thought that if I listened to him, that if he saw me trying, then maybe he would try too."
"Did he?" Waverly asks gently and I can tell she already knew the answer. I shake my head anyway.
"No. He just got worse actually. But since that day he did make sure that I went to school and stayed there. He would drive me to school in his squad car in the mornings, leaving my bicycle to start rusting in the garage. The ride was silent, but it was the most interaction I had with him in a while. I held onto it with every bit of faith I had."
"Did he get you after school too?"
"He had to work late every night, work being for him what climbing rock faces had been for me. He did organize for the school's guidance counselor, Mrs. Nedley, to give me a lift home in the afternoons."
"Nedley as in…?"
"You guessed it, Nedley's wife. She was the first one to volunteer when dad contacted the school. Claiming she had to drop Chrissy off at the farm in the afternoons anyway. She was one of the kindest women I had ever met, with a passion to help troubled kids like me. She would talk to me and Chrissy on those rides home. Initially I would just sit there silently, refusing to partake in the conversation. But as what is the case with any Nedley, they don't give up knocking on the walls of your heart till they find a crack and fit themselves in there before you even realize it."
Waverly grins at my analogy. "Did she actually get you to talk?"
I nod sheepishly. "She sure did. Initially it was just about random things like my interests or how my day had been. But then, without even realizing it, I would tell her about mom and about dad. I would tell her how I missed my family and how lost I felt. She would listen, she would encourage me, never patronizing me. Chrissy would also listen, saying kind words. Mrs. Nedley always offered for me to come visit them on the farm if it ever got too much or if she just wanted some company."
"Wow, that's so very kind." Waverly breaths out, awe in her tone.
"Yeah, Mrs. Nedley was just like that. She really dedicated her life to helping kids, even doing a lot of community work in town. She helped a lot of kids to get off the streets and into foster care or rehab."
"Rehab?" Waverly asks in shock. I nod sadly. "Yeah, it was around that time that the drug plague emerged in Purgatory. Nedley's wife made it her mission to help kids who had fallen victim to it, either via their parents' addiction or their own."
Waverly nods, frown on her face. "What… what happened to Mrs. Nedley?"
My whole body deflates, air leaving my lungs being replaced with gusts of sorrow. "She tragically died in a hit and run one night. She had been at the school late, walking to her car when it happened. The piece of shit who hit her drove away, leaving only skid marks of their car on the pavement as an indicator. Her broken body was found much too late by a couple of kids who had been goofing around on the football field that night."
Waverly releases a mournful gasp. "Oh that's so terrible… poor Nedley and Chrissy."
"Yeah, it broke them. Chrissy was so devastated that she didn't want to leave the farm anymore, it being the only place where she could feel close to her mom. So Nedley set up the online teaching program, the very one you and Jeremy are also doing now."
"Oh. So that's how this all started? Him taking in troubled kids?"
I nod with a warm smile at Waverly's inquisitive nature. "Yeah, after his wife died, Nedley turned Joy Farm into a sort of sanctuary for any kids who came from a difficult background."
"Like us." She says simply, I nod with a rueful smile.
"Like us, yes. I was actually the first one he took under his wing."
"How did…?" Waverly asks. I sigh softly and run my hands through my hair, steeling myself for the next hard part of my story.
"You don't have to tell me, Nicole. Sorry, you've already shared so much and I…" The brunette girl rambles, her tone wrought with guilt.
I hold up my hand to stop her. "No, Waves. It's okay. I want to tell you. It… feels good being able to finally talk about it after all this time."
Waverly bites her lip and looks at me with a sympathetic look as she nods.
I release another breath. "During that same period when Mrs. Nedley had been helping kids affected by the drug plague in town, dad was investigating who was behind it. He would work many hours after his colleagues had left for home, investigating every possible lead he could find. I was frequently woken up when he would finally stumble into the house, dead on his feet. The one comfort I had was that he did come home every night. So, when he didn't come home one night, I knew something was very wrong."
I get up and start pacing, just to give an out to the painful energy drifting in and out of my veins as I relive my past. Waverly watches me with a gentle gaze, one that says I am here for you. I am listening, you aren't alone. Drawing courage from that, I push forward.
"My dad's Captain called our house phone that morning giving me the second most devastating news of my life. My dad had been shot." I pause to look at Waverly, to gather strength as I feel my heart wanting to crumble once more.
The brunette looks utterly distraught, her eyes shimmering with tears as she gets up and walks over to me. "Oh Nicole…" She grabs my hand and I finally feel steady again.
"My dad had followed a lead that directed him to Bobo del Rey, the previous owner of the Glory Hole. Dad had discovered that Bobo was running an illegal drug trade, using the Glory Hole as the base of his operations. Someone had tipped him off about the drugs being cooked at the prestigious night club, so dad went to stake the place out. He noticed a lot of Bobo's men moving in and out of a door near the back end of the building. Eventually he snuck in and found it led to the basement, and Bobo's meth laboratory."
"Woah." Waverly says.
"Yeah. Dad was in the process of taking out his phone to take pictures of what he had found, when someone came up behind him. Dad turned to find Bobo himself holding a gun trained on him. Before dad could even raise his hands in surrender, Bobo had fired the gun." My jaw clenches and I automatically grip Waverly's hand a bit tighter, the action helping me remain calm and steady at the horrid memories once again threatening to further tear the recently reopened wounds in my heart.
"I am so sorry Nicole." She says, and I realize she thinks dad had died. Although a part of him did, I quickly clarify.
"Dad's partner had been waiting in his car as backup when he heard the shot. He rushed the building, everyone directing him towards the basement. He found dad bleeding out and immediately called the ambulance. Dad was rushed to hospital. They managed to patch him up, most of him anyway."
At Waverly's questioning gaze I take a deep breath and explain.
"The bullet had gone through one of dad's ribs, splitting off a piece of the bone. That piece got lodged into dad's spine, paralyzing him from the waist down."
I feel a drop of moisture fall on the hand that Waverly has a death grip on, causing me to look up and find her tearful eyes staring back at me. She loosens her hand from mine and wraps her arms around me. "I am so sorry Nicole."
I allow myself to be held and feel surprised by the fact that my heart doesn't feel as heavy as it used to. Waverly Earp had helped lift the weight, without her even realizing it.
I finally let go, giving her a grateful look. "Thanks, Wave. I can't explain it, but having you here… listening while I revisit these memories is really helping."
She smiles, releasing a sniffle and wiping her nose. "It's no problem. Thanks for trusting me with your story. You have really been through some shit and yet, I don't think I have ever met a more unselfish person in my life."
I look down bashfully, taken aback by her kind words as a blush burns my cheeks. "I uh… thanks Waves." I finally say stupidly.
"Can I ask… where is your dad now?"
"Dad is currently living in an estate specifically for paraplegics, where there are nurses to take care of him. He obviously cannot do his old job, but his Captain got him a job editing crime articles for the local paper."
"And what about Bobo del Rey? Did they catch him?"
I clench my jaw at the thought of that bastard. "After he shot dad, Bobo went missing. They couldn't find any trace of him. They did manage to catch all his cronies and shut down his lab."
"Arg dammit! I hope he rots in hell." For the first time in a while, the angry girl I met pops out. For the first time her anger makes me smile.
"Yeah, well I am a strong believer in karma." Waverly gives me a small smile despite herself.
"Well I really hope that bastard gets what he deserves. Anyways, how did you end up here after what happened with your dad?"
"When my dad found out he was paralyzed, he knew he would need permanent care for the rest of his life. He knew he could no longer take care of me. I protested, saying I didn't care, that I would take care of him. But he shut me down, saying he wanted me to have a life. He called Randy Nedley and asked him to take me in. When Nedley came to get me, I wanted to have nothing to do with him. I just wanted to help my dad. I fought and cursed until I was tired enough for Nedley to scoop me up and place me into his truck. He made sure to have all my things gathered from home and brought to the farm the very next day. And the rest as they say, is pretty much history."
Waverly release a breath, her eyebrows raised as she looks at me, her eyes seeming to look at me in whole new light. "You really went through some hectic stuff… I am in complete awe of you Nicole."
I look down, unable to meet her penetrating gaze. "No, I was just a normal kid who had a lot of people who cared enough about her. I had enough kindness and love in my life that it brought me through to a place of light. To a place where I could finally see a future that might just be good." I chance a look up at Waverly. "A place where perhaps I can help others see that too." I say the words looking at the brunette pointedly. Her eyes stare back at me with that same intensity, a look that needs no words. A look that says, you get me.
The barn door flies open, breaking our moment. A very drenched Nedley stands at the entrance. "Nicole, Waverly! You are okay. Thank goodness. We were all wondering where you had disappeared to."
"Sorry, sir. We were talking and… kind of lost track of time." I say looking at Waverly briefly, she responds with a secretive smile.
"That's all right. Why don't you come on inside? Chrissy is making some hot chocolate and she put that notepad movie on." I stifle my laughter at his words, Waverly doesn't even try to stop her giggle.
"Do you mean the Notebook?" I ask, looking at him with amusement.
"Potato, potatoe." He grumbles, waving his mistake off and turning back to the door. He pauses, looking back at us expectantly. "You comin'?"
"Yes, sir." Waverly tells him with a warm smile, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door. I smile and allow myself to be pulled home, my heart feeling lighter than it has in 4 years.
