I tap my fingers distractedly along with A Horse With No Name as I wait for Rachel's return. She had slipped out and sprinted over to the drop point, which was at an old dumpster near Purgatory High. I parked the car out of sight, as per her adamant instruction. She feared letting anyone see her helped by me, as she didn't want to risk 'them' coming after me too.
The look of desperation in her eyes was the only reason I relented, fighting the very strong urge to protect the younger girl. To protect her from the same evils which had kept my father from my life even before he had become paralyzed, that had kept him occupied after mom died.
I had told Rachel that we needed to involve the cops, that this would not stop unless these people were caught and locked up forever.
But of course, the teen went full stubborn panic mode and practically begged me not to bring this to the authorities. Not until she knew her mom was safe. She was also scared of herself being locked up because of her role in everything. I told her that she was minor who was forced to steal drugs to keep her mom safe, it would be seen as self-defense.
She confessed that she had also sold some of the chemicals on the side, to get money to buy food since her mom wasn't there to provide for her. So that was what she had been doing when I saw her hand over something to that man in town the other day. I grit my teeth at what this girl had been forced to subject herself to just for the sake of survival. Both hers and her mother's.
I assured her that we could make a plan, that my dad has many connections in the police department who could help defend her case and that the worst she might get would be 6 months or community service. She felt a bit relieved by that, but still made me promise to not go to the cops until she knew her mother was safe at least. I reluctantly agreed. For now.
The issue was, how would her mom ever be safe if no one does anything? And what could I even do to help? It's not like I was some cop; I was just the daughter of one. I chased down rogue cows, not criminals. All I had was my five senses and a semi-sharp wit. Perhaps I could use that, regardless. Starting with my hearing and sight.
I scan my surroundings, making sure to observe and take mental notes of everything and every person I see. Perhaps I might just find something, some kind of clue that could lead the cops to the bastards behind this, something that could help get Rachel's mom set free. I allow myself a small smile, dad would be proud.
My smile drops again when I remember that this was just one of the many drop locations and it would change again. They obviously do that to prevent anyone from figuring their operation out. The thought strikes me, how do they decide upon the locations for the drops? Was there a chance that it was perhaps near their base? Like a warehouse? Or another night club? It was a long shot… but maybe.
Contemplating this, I remove my phone and open my maps app, finding my location. I zoom out and survey the area surrounding us on the map. There's the school, an empty field, a small residential area, a newly opened flower shop and the old gym. Nothing seems too out of the ordinary. Perhaps we would get a better idea if Rachel can point out the previous drop locations…
The sound of my phone pinging, breaks me from detective mode.
Rachel: Just made the drop. I am heading over to my mom and I's apartment to get a couple of things. Back soon.
I type out a reply telling Rachel to be safe and to let me know if she needs me to help her in any way. Having done as much detective work as I currently could and having some time to kill; I open up the MatchMe app.
Haught(givemea)shot: Hey! You ask quite the interesting question. Have you never been in love?
The reply is almost instant, causing me to smile despite everything going on. It seems she really did miss our chats as much as I did.
Angelgirl08: No. At least, I have never felt quite like this. There was a boy-man once called Perry… but it never felt right, there was something missing. Have you ever been in love?
Haught(givemea)shot: A boy-man, huh? Oh, I have been there all right. It's the WORST. I did have a girlfriend in high school called Shae. I thought that we were good together, that maybe she was my person. But then my mom… she kind of died and I kind of got lost. Shae just couldn't handle the lost version of me, I guess. She left me soon after, not wanting a depressed, loose-cannon as her girlfriend.
I release a breath; the pain of the way Shae made me feel so alone after everything we had together. After I had been there for her every time her parents fought, before their divorce. But when I was the one who needed her, she baled almost instantly. I grit my teeth and shake off the past. It would not help to dwell. Better to focus on others who do care. As if on cue, my phone pings with a reply.
Angelgirl08: I am really sorry about your mom. Being so young and losing a parent to death… I can't even imagine how hard that had to be. Yet you seem so put together now, after all that. Your strength reminds me of the very person I am experiencing these… feelings for. I greatly admire them, but also you. And to echo your kind words to me — it's absolutely Shae's loss. You are amazing, I wish I could be as brave as you.
The way angelgirl really genuinely seems to care takes me aback. She really was the perfect listener, which I am just adding to the list of everything else about her which is perfect. Which is why learning that there was someone else whom she apparently has feelings for is like a shotgun to my gut, flooding my internal organs with disappointment. But perhaps we could then at least be friends? I have become rather attached to our interactions, which have helped stem a lot of my emotional loneliness. If nothing else, I needed to at least tell her how much she has meant to me.
Haught(givemea)shot: Yeah well, my dad used to say 'Nicole, it's only by facing giants that you can recognize the giant within yourself.' But thank you for saying that, it really means a lot. In fact, thanks for sticking with me this whole time and sharing your stories and listening to my own tragic ones. I feel like you really get me. And trust me, not a lot of people ever do.
Suddenly feeling brave and encouraged by the need to have her in my life, I add another part to my message.
Haught(givemea)shot: I know this is going to sound insane, but I feel this really strong connection to you. I know we haven't even really talked all that much, and for all you know I could be a serial killer (I do like murdering a bowl of cornflakes), but I would really like to meet you. Not as a date of course, since there is clearly someone else who holds your heart. But I would just like the opportunity to talk to you in person, as friends. I could tell you a bit more about my romantic experiences over coffee? My treat. What do you say?
I watch to see if the familiar three dots would pop up, indicating the other girl was replying. But they don't. I bite my lip nervously as 5 minutes go by, then 10, then 15. Shit. Did I just blow it?
It was just after 7 am, perhaps she was just getting ready for school? Right? I almost have a heart attack when my phone pings again. I waste no time in opening it, disappointment floods my arteries as I see it is from Rachel.
Rachel: I had a little more to pack than I thought. Can you come over with the truck please?
She sends me the location of her apartment after the message. Deciding to no longer dwell on the lack of reply from angelgirl, I turn the key in the ignition and put the truck in gear.
When I pass the flower shop, I notice something very out of place: Champ Hardy exiting the store, carrying three vases of carnations. Why the hell would he of all people be buying flowers? He does not seem like the romantic type, renown for being quite the player ever since high school. So perhaps he just wanted to give each of his current girlfriends the same gift. Deciding that was probably it, I push Champ Hardy to the back of my mind and focus on the road ahead.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
A very enthusiastic dog brigade greets Rachel and I when we get back home. Skip and Dexter wag their tails so violently that I fear they might take flight. But there is no denying how wonderful a greeting it is, so I make sure to pat both the brothers enthusiastically in return.
To Rachel's surprise, they run over and greet her too. The girl looks hesitant at first, but eventually she reaches out and pats Skip, then Dexter. Her smile spreads like a river full of joy across her young face when both dogs practically topple her in their battle for her affection.
Seeing the young girl so unguarded and happy for the first time floods the cavity inside my ribs with warmth. The tension started seeping out of her when she received the picture of her mom looking stoically back at the camera, alive and unharmed, marked with today's date stamp. I scanned the picture for any clue as to her location, but of course they were very careful and only ensured that only a grey wall was visible in the background.
I shift my focus back on Rachel and the dogs to keep from going full detective Haught again. Now was not the time, now was a time of happiness.
The greeting by the two dogs seemed to have fully broken Rachel's tension filled walls, hence the joy exhibited by the young girl presently. I would like to believe that having a safe place with us on the farm has contributed to that. No one can resist the charms of Joy Farm for too long, after all. No drug mobster was going to take away our home, home referring to the people more than the place. And Rachel was now one of our people. We would figure it out. Mom always said that love always wins. If I believed in anything, it was going to be that.
Smiling to myself as Rachel releases another joyful squeal when Skip licks her cheek, I move to the back of the truck to start unloading her things.
I hear the front door open and the click of boots on the porch.
"Nicole! You guys are back. How… how did it go?" Chrissy asks tentatively, her eyes giving Rachel and I a thorough once over. I realize she was making sure we were unharmed. You know, since we had technically just come from completing a bona-fide drug deal and all. That kind of stuff has a bad reputation in movies, tending to end in blood baths. Her concerns were very much understandable.
I grasp two bags and head up the porch passed Chrissy. "We are fine. Rachel did the drop without any hitch and then we got her stuff from the apartment." I reassure her as I make my way inside the house. Chrissy follows hot on my trail.
"Did you see anyone at the drop site? Did anyone see you?" My semi-sister fires at me rapidly, her voice wrought with worry as she looks back in the direction of Rachel.
"No, Chris. I made sure to take a good look around us, but found nothing out of the ordinary. Well, except for seeing Champ Hardy exiting the flower show with three batches of coronations." I say, starting the trek up the stairs to my room, where Rachel will be staying now indefinitely.
"The Champ Hardy? As in different-girl-every— second-day, Champ Hardy? Carrying flowers?" Chrissy deadpans behind me, voice full of skepticism. When we enter my room, she makes a beeline for the bed, taking a seat as I place the bags next to the cupboard.
"Yep. I couldn't believe it either. But other than that strange event, there was nothing else that seemed out of place."
"Well, I am glad you are okay. But… what do you think is going to happen with the whole drug thing? We need to go to the cops! Rachel can't just keep delivering them the drugs. We need those drugs for the animals." Chrissy says, wringing her hands nervously.
I release a long breath, looking out the window towards the eastern paddock where Eos has now been allowed to roam with the other horses.
"Rachel doesn't want us to go to the cops. She fears for her mom's safety."
Chrissy looks up at me, her eyes shimmering with the familiar sign of tears wanting to spill. "Oh, Nicole. That poor girl… how can someone do such a thing?"
"I don't know, Chris. There are some really evil folks out there. But we can at least try to do everything we can from our side to help Rachel. If that means getting her to the drop points on time for now, then that is what we will do. My dad always says that a criminal will always slip up eventually. You just gotta be patient and keep trying to find that moment. I might be no cop, but I am still going to keep my eyes and ears peeled at all times. You should do the same when you head into town, okay? Ask around discreetly, log anything suspicious. The smallest thing could help."
Chrissy seems to cheer up. Now having been given a task that might help the situation. "Good idea. I am definitely gonna do that and ask some of my old school friends to keep an ear out too. This drug thing, it's been wreaking havoc in our town for way too long. I remember how obsessed mom had been with it… she would stay up late researching news articles about it, putting together notes. She really wanted to help make it stop, to help the kids affected by it. She got so obsessed that dad had to beg her to let it go and get some actual sleep." Chrissy's words carry a somberness to them.
I did not realize the extent to which Mrs. Nedley had gone to help keep kids safe from the drugs. It makes her death just a little more suspicious. Could she perhaps have found something out that someone did not want her to? This thought gives me an idea.
"Do you think the research your mom did is still around here somewhere?"
She looks up at me in surprise, before her expression turns to thoughtful. "I don't know. Dad stored away all her stuff after… after she uh…" Chrissy struggles to say it and I immediately place my hand on her shoulder in comfort, understanding the feeling much too well.
"It's okay, Chris. I'll ask your dad about it. Maybe your mom's notes could help us get some more leads on who could be behind the latest drug activity in Purgatory."
Chrissy nods, looking thoughtful. "Do you think that it could be Bobo Del Rey again?"
"I don't know. He would be really brave to show his face here after dad uncovered him. He is probably the most wanted man in Purgatory, they would arrest him in an instant. But perhaps he has connections here who are helping him. Either way, I believe the bastards will be caught and I am going to do everything I can to help towards making that happen. You with me?"
"Always, Sis." Chrissy says with determination, her jaw tight and ready to fight. I smile at her heart to help the good guys win. Her mom would be so proud.
"Alright, enough of this drug nonsense. Why don't you help me get the rest of Rachel's stuff up here?"
Chrissy's face relaxes into a smile. With a nod she gets up from the bed and the two of us exit the room and head back down the stairs.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
It happens after dinner, the moment everything changes for me again. I am in the barn, struggling to put together the IKEA bed that Nedley had stored away. He kept it just in case we needed an extra one. That need of course having come forward now that Rachel was going to stay in my room.
As I fasten what feels like the thousandth bolt, my mind is consumed by various different thoughts of my day. They range from Rachel and the drugs to angelgirl08 and Waverly. The last one is especially deepening my frown lines at the moment. I had not seen an inch of her since this morning before we left for town. Of course, she had been occupied with classes along with Jeremy. But when she didn't show up for lunch and took her dinner in her room again, I started worrying.
Waverly Earp's moods were making me drunker than the tequila Jeremy and Chrissy feeds me during Board Game night. She was like an extremely emotional chameleon. Beautifully colorful one second, then a terrifying dark shade of warning the next. I feel dizzy just trying to figure out if my analogy fits.
Turn by the Wombats starts blasting from my Bluetooth speaker, stemming any further thought of chameleons I had. I nod my head along to the beat as I tighten the bolt.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Waverly's POV
I read the same sentence for the tenth time before throwing the AP Mathematics textbook on my bed with a loud huff. Damn you, Nicole Haught!
Thoughts of the redheaded woman fill every available space in my mind, leaving no room for homework. It has been that way for the whole day. Ever since my last conversation with Haughtshot. Ever since the realization finally hit me.
Of course MatchMe matched me up with the only other broken single girl in this cow town. One who just so happens to be exquisitely beautiful and abundantly kind. One who I have come to learn had a great capacity towards love despite her own heart having experienced pain multiple times before.
I cannot believe I hadn't figured it out sooner. There had been so many similarities… the rock climbing, the difficult past, hints at a great turned difficult relationship with her dad, the redheads do it better comment… the overwhelming kindness despite it all. It took her telling me her actual name and me remembering her 'You are a giant' comment to Rachel this morning to finally connect the damn dots!
Why was the universe so cruel? Teasing me with someone who was everything I knew I needed, everything I could see myself fall fully in love with. Why, when love was the one thing that I promised myself, I would never again risk my heart to. Not after mother walked out, leaving Wyn and I to fend for ourselves against him. Not after how he hurt us and… not after what I did. Most of all not after Wynonna, my greatest supporter, left me behind after it happened.
If there is one thing I know for sure, it is that love only equates to yet another chance at pain. Pain which is definitely not worth it. Which is why I had to finally bring a stop to this, before I was too far gone and once again bleeding out my guts from a broken heart.
With a set of my jaw I get up and exit my room, taking determined steps in the direction of the barn.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Nicole's POV
When I am done and finally ready to admire my handywork, I spot yet another skew plank. Damn it! One would think that putting together IKEA furniture would be my forte. With a huff I pick up the instructions trying to find where I had gone wrong.
I notice that I had used the wrong screw size for the infidel plank and am about to fix it, when a stormy chameleon enters the barn. I almost fall over the half-assembled bed with the surprise I experience at Waverly's unexpected appearance in my now room.
"Waves, hi! It's good to see you, how was…"
I start, but am cut off by the brunette girl.
"What Pokémon would you be if you could choose?" She asks, her face strained with the level of seriousness it carries. Naturally the odd question catches me off guard. But fearing for my life if I do not take her seriously, I answer honestly.
"Er, Charmander. Why do you…"
"Why Charmander?" She cuts me off, her voice demanding and sharp as a razor held to my neck.
I swallow nervously. "Because redheads…"
"Do it better." She completes for me, to my bafflement.
"How did you…?"
She takes out her phone and starts texting, a frown on her beautiful features. Once she is done, she looks over at me, eyeing my phone.
"You should check that." Waverly instructs me, nodding in the direction of my phone. I give her a bewildered look, but check my phone regardless. I expect to find a message from her, but only find a new notification from MatchMe.
"I don't understand, Waves. Did you send me something? I don't see any messages…?" She releases a frustrated huff. "Open the notification, dingus."
Why was she being so weird? My mind reels. But I decide to humour her and open the only current notification on my phone.
Angelgirl08: If I am right and you are reading this right now, then I am standing in a barn right in front of you.
I look up at Waverly with a mix of disbelief, shock and hopeful wonder. Her hazel eyes stare back at me, her mouth open in awe. Could she really be…?
"Angelgirl?" I breath out.
She lifts her phone and my heart almost stops as the breath leaves my lungs when I see the familiar username at the top of the MatchMe app on her device.
"And you are… Haughtshot." She says it so softly that I need to strain my ears above the rapid racing of my heart. Waverly Earp and the girl I had been texting, the girl who I felt more connected to than any other human at this time, was the same person?! Is someone pranking me?
I release a breath, running my hand through my hair.
"Woah." Is all I can manage before braving a look at the other girl.
"Yeah… woah." Is all she says in response.
I take a hopeful step in her direction, my heart losing a bit of its lifeforce when she takes a step back.
"So, uh… what happens now?" I ask, looking towards her tentatively as I try my best to subdue the hope that was trying to raise in my chest. The other girl's whole posture was stiff like the day we had met.
She releases a sigh, before looking back at me sadly. "Now nothing, Nicole. I only joined the app with the intention of having someone to talk to, to help lessen the loneliness while I was here. I never intended to actually meet them and now… now it's ruined." She looks down, her jaw clenching. Without warning she turns around and starts walking away.
I hurriedly grab her arm, just as the notes of Pick Me Up Tonight starts on my Bluetooth speaker. "Waves, wait. Please?" I ask, trying not to sound too desperate besides the opposite being true. To my relief she pauses and doesn't immediately pull away. Feeling emboldened by this, I take another step towards her.
She looks at me expectantly with her expressive hazel eyes and suddenly I am at a loss as to what my next move was going to be. I register the words of the song and get an idea.
"Dance with me?" I ask, causing an adorable little frown to appear on the other girl's gorgeous face. "Nicole, I don't know…"
"Look, if I am going to lose Angelgirl tonight, if I am going to no longer get to share moments with her that has made me smile more than I have in years… then can I at least share a dance with her?"
I hold my breath as I watch her contemplate my offer. Finally, she looks up at me again. "Okay." I almost do a backflip at the joy her response brings me.
I offer her my right hand, which she takes tentatively. I notice how small her hand feels in my mammoth one. My eyes remain locked to hers as I place my left hand onto her waist, pulling her gently towards me until our bodies are just barely touching.
I can practically feel her heart beating against my own chest as I start to gently sway us along with the beat of the song. At first Waverly feels stiff in my arms, but then I feel her relax into me. When she rests her head against my shoulder and the smell of frangipani consumes my senses, I realize that I would never be able to recover from this girl.
I spin her out and the ethereal way she looks in the orange glow of the dusk light, the way she exudes an almost unbelievable beauty, makes my heart yearn to be in her presence for eternity.
When I pull her back towards me, I make sure to bring our faces impossibly close. I needed her to see everything that she has made me feel, both as Angelgirl08 and as Waverly.
Her eyes widen slightly and her mouth is open in a silent gasp as she looks at me, like I had hung every star that would soon become visible in the night sky.
I watch her gaze drift across my face, finally landing on my lips. In that moment I knew that she wanted this too. And perhaps if I could show her what it could be like… I remove my left hand from her waist and gently reach up to move the rogue strand of hair that drove me nuts the other day behind her ear.
I take delight in the fact that she doesn't stiffen at my touch. Her eyes close upon the contact and she leans into my hand, despite her face showcasing a storm of conflicting emotions.
She appears to be at war with herself and I ache to remove the frown marring her beautiful skin. I move my hand up to smooth them over gently before gazing upon her with eyes that express every desire and dream for my future. A future that I now wish to have with no one else but her.
Her eyes open to reveal pools of hazel with shimmers of gold in them. I hold her gaze for as long as I can before her lips call me in. My head starts its descent, bringing my own lips closer to hers.
I feel the warm, rapid breaths from her fit lungs on my skin when I am mere inches from my destination. "Waves…" I utter just ahead of what would be sure to be the greatest moment of my life.
A moment brought to an abrupt end when the barn door slams shut unexpectedly by a gust of wind. I watch Waverly's eyes widen before her body stiffens again and she pulls away from me.
"I… I can't. I am sorry." She utters in a teary voice before my body is left cold by her rapid departure. Don't Take Your Love Away From Me starts playing next on my playlist, masking the sound of my breaking heart.
Before the crushingly cold loneliness threatens to consume my will to live, I force myself to turn away from the hurt, by doing the one thing that has always helped me heal. Hard labor.
With mechanical movements I focus my hands and mind on completing the assembly of the bed, telling myself over and over again that at least that could be fixed.
