From the Inside

Chapter 2

Initiation

*I own nothing and any similarities with any other works are purely coincidental.

Across the city a quaint little wooden boat was making its way down the canal, traveling at a fairly quick and steady pace even though no one was visibly steering it. And that was because Nya was in her element, both literally and figuratively. She had made it out of that claustrophobic hallway mostly unscathed, having scared off the reborn Garmadon and escaped with Misako in tow. Along the way they had picked up Pixal and the three of them were now making their way towards the projected rendezvous point.

Nya wasn't noticeably worried or bothered, despite the treacherous and largely uncharted waters they found themselves in; those being of the metaphorical and existential variety, naturally. There was a nagging sense of fear in her mind, but not because she was a fish out of water. The city itself was by no means unfamiliar, quite the contrary. Rather, it was simply under new management.

While that looming threat was certainly a pressing issue, it was not at the forefront of Nya's mind. Her top priority was finding Lloyd, and once he was safe they would regroup and strategize. The extenuating circumstances would normally indicate a need for haste, but fortunately enough the plan did not entirely hinge upon her arriving in time. In the grand scheme of things they were just a fallback in case the Bounty was somehow out of reach or incapacitated. So while there was no time to rest on their laurels, she found a bit of solace in the fact that Lloyd's safety wasn't really in her hands. But it hardly mattered, for the battered blond was just about to throw away everything he had ever worked for.

"Yeah, I think I am going to jump." Lloyd said suddenly, his voice barely audible and almost cut off by a wall of static. Nya thought her ears were playing tricks on her, and she quickly adjusted the tuning dial on her earpiece to make sure that she wasn't hearing voices that weren't there. Once it was better calibrated she asked Lloyd to repeat the message, but she was immediately drowned out by a chorus of emotionally charged voices coming in all at once. She had no idea what was going on and despite her best efforts she couldn't boost the signal any further. Unable to think clearly she reached to mute her communicator, but out of nowhere a deafening scream rang out that silenced everyone.

Lloyd's impromptu audition for the role of a suicidal misanthrope sent chills running down her spine, for it was by far the most disturbing sound he had ever produced. It was a pitch he had never quite reached before, with a multitude of emotions pouring out from beneath his mask of indifference. He had been able to provide such a convincing soundbite because it was fueled by his true feelings; all of the anger and sorrow buried within him were let out for the briefest of moments.

"Nya?"

She looked up quickly, suddenly aware that the boat was no longer moving. Her mind had been adrift, elsewhere and elusive, and as such her powers had just sort of fizzled out. It was like slipping in and out of a dream, and she felt groggy and slightly lightheaded as she glanced around at her surroundings. Misako was staring back at her with a somewhat puzzled expression, and although she didn't visibly show it, Pixal was also concerned for her friend's mental well being.

"What's wrong?" Misako asked worriedly. Nya shook her head slightly, desperately trying to reorient herself and make sense of what she had just heard. She slowly switched off her earpiece and took in some deep breaths before finally meeting her gaze.

"I'm not really sure what happened." she said quietly, her voice coming off as shaky and slightly somber. "But I think Lloyd is in serious danger."

The estranged couple exchanged no words across the entire journey; they were both purposefully choosing to trudge along in utter silence. Lloyd had far too much on his mind, far too many incessant worries to bother with small talk. Striking up a conversation would also force him to keep up his confident facade, so in the interest of self-preservation he was completely ignoring her. His head was swimming with doubt and hesitance, with insatiable guilt creeping in. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to go through with the plan, and he really hated having to leave his friends, possibly forever.

But this was the hand that he had been dealt and he was going to take back his homeland, no matter what the cost. Lloyd was determined to defeat his demonic father and he no longer cared who he hurt along the way. The way he saw it, it was only fair to use Harumi in this cockamamy scheme, for there could be no better payback than hiding behind a mask to lull her into a false sense of security. In his mind there was legitimately nothing left to live for, no goal or logical objective to set his sights on besides liberating the city. That noble mission was the only thing keeping him going and he was prepared to risk his life pursuing it. He was prepared to do anything; prepared to burn, prepared to do what ordinary people wouldn't do.

Lloyd was suddenly pulled from his thoughts as his momentum came to an abrupt stop. Harumi had grabbed him, yanking him by his shirt collar and forcefully whipping him towards her. His eyes flared with anger and confusion, but the shock of the moment was quickly dispelled when he noticed where they were standing. They had finally arrived at their destination and soaking in the decrepit scenery was strangely cathartic; witnessing the rampant destruction firsthand actually renewed his resolve quite a bit.

"We're here." Harumi said quietly, turning to face the crumbling tower with a stony expression on her face. It was rather difficult to know for sure but Lloyd thought he saw a sliver of fear in her eyes; as if she too was incredibly anxious about the upcoming proceedings. Of course she was practically indispensable to the criminal organization, but bringing him in was still an incredibly dicey decision. Logically speaking, the wisest move would have been to ignore his advances and try to knock him off the metal catwalk, as he had been cornered and basically left for dead up there. Despite her alleged indifference towards the naive ninja, Harumi had not possessed the strength to kill him, and, whether or not she cared to admit it, deep down it was likely because she wanted him around.

Her doubts regarding Lloyd's character and her worries about advocating for him were probably inconsequential though, as, since she had actually completed her intended mission, it was likely that she would remain in the Emperor's good graces regardless of what happened. She had managed to secure Wu after all, and he wasn't even making much of a fuss. In fact, he had kept quiet for the entire journey so far, which was probably because his mind was gripped by fear.

They hesitantly walked up the steps, pushing aside the broken doors and walking inside the building formerly known as Borg Tower. Harumi started leading him through the place very quickly, practically dragging him across the charred linoleum as she tore down the hallway. It was a pace maintained for two primary reasons; her haste was clearly fueled by paranoia and a desire to avoid potential interference, but it was also a choice influenced by her incessant need to be in control. Domination and possession were ideals she thrived on and Lloyd's abrupt shift towards nonchalant cockiness had destabilized their normal relationship dynamic. Therefore, by forcefully chauffeuring him around, Harumi was able to ignore her growing fears and keep him submissive.

She relaxed a bit when they reached the dimly lit elevator, as it was the most direct route to get to the roof and making it that far without accidentally running into any lowly grunts was an enormous relief. For obvious reasons she wanted Lloyd to be initiated privately; the ideal scenario would involve Garmadon alone, but she would also accept it if her fellow generals were the only other ones present. Exposing him to the entire gang would leave both of them far more exposed to criticism and skepticism, and it's not like their opinions were inherently necessary for important decisions like this. Additionally, since Mr. E was a nindroid who barely ever talked, the only people she might have to convince were Garmadon, Ultra Violet, and Killow.

"Hey, how come you guys don't have any music to go with this elevator?" Lloyd asked suddenly, stirring her from a sort of trancelike state of concentration. Harumi quickly looked over at her rather peculiar companion, who was casually leaning back against the tinted glass and kicking his feet up like he owned the place.

"I'm sorry?" she asked politely, feigning a snarky smile to hide the fact that she was completely caught off guard by the random query.

"Well, you know." Lloyd started, pulling his hands back from behind his head and standing up a bit straighter. "It's just that, I've been here before and Mr. Borg sometimes liked to play some techno music in the background. It was never anything super loud or distracting, just a bit of soothing ambience to help pass the time when we had to journey through the tallest skyscraper in Ninjago City."

"Well, we're only beginning to start renovations and I don't think anyone else is worried about the lack of ambient music Lloyd." Harumi retorted quietly, smirking in what she hoped was an overly obnoxious manner. He shrugged slightly, evidently conceding the point before leaning back against the glass. Usually Lloyd would worry and fret about the smallest things but now his mannerisms seemed to reflect a level of complete serenity; one that was completely unwarranted considering his current plight.

Never before had he seemed so calm and laid back, and Harumi was finding it extremely unnerving. The balance of power between them was definitely starting to shift, but it wasn't just because he was being somewhat feisty. No, she had expected him to act defiant and rebellious, and, since she knew how to handle his morally righteous rhetoric, that situation would have been a lot more manageable. Indifference was something entirely different.

They said nothing to each other for the rest of the elevator ride, which was probably for the best. Being able to enjoy the silence would be crucial if Lloyd intended to keep his sanity intact during this fanciful sojourn. Having to live a lie would be one of the most trying tests of his life, especially if he was expected to maintain a working relationship with his crazy ex. And that was the most infuriating part for his brain to consider, because, despite all of the terrible things she had done to him, he still saw the best in her. In his heart he truly believed that every person, no matter what their crimes, was capable of redeeming themselves. That belief, while certainly commendable, was going to get him into a lot of trouble in this line of work. Because, more often than not, it's the hope that kills you.

The elevator doors finally opened and Harumi immediately ran out onto the top floor of the building, relieved that she was finally freed from the metaphorical prison her thoughts had trapped her in. Lloyd slowly sauntered after her, purposefully taking his time out of both defiance and repressed fear. It was entirely possible that Garmadon would choose to kill both him and Wu on sight, and while he did not fear death, it also wasn't an outcome that he went out of his way to achieve. On the other hand, those logical worries were mostly outweighed by the feelings of overwhelming loss and sadness that he hid so well. He wasn't afraid anymore because he had nothing left to lose.

As Lloyd trudged up to the decrepit rooftop, he once again found himself in the presence of the twisted wraith he was now beholden to. Garmadon was staring off into the distance, ignoring everyone around him as he marveled upon his own macabre handiwork. Lloyd felt an insatiable rage start to fester beneath the surface, but quickly quelled his emotions and kept his concentration on the here and now. The other generals of the Sons of Garmadon were also present, which wasn't particularly surprising. Mr. E was as quiet as ever and, while Killow looked only slightly bored, Ultra Violet was clearly growing more and more restless by the minute. This fact was quite concerning to Harumi, and as such she wanted to say her part before any of them could start to question Lloyd's presence.

"Emperor Garmadon." Harumi started quietly, quickly dropping to one knee and bowing her head in respect as she drew nearer. She gave Lloyd a cursory glance before continuing, and he begrudgingly followed suit. His annoyance broke through his mask of indifference for the briefest of moments and she saw him roll his eyes just a bit, but she didn't have the time to worry about it.

"I was successful in my mission to retrieve the child and in doing so I have swayed one of the ninja to our cause." she said confidently, smiling up at her Emperor and hoping that her success would be met with praise, not ridicule. Of course, that was asking far too much of her somewhat unstable peers, and unfortunately the second part of her statement quickly drew their attention.

"Oh, look what the cat dragged in!" Ultra Violet jeered, looking down on Lloyd and trying her best to bait an impulsive reaction out of him. "It's the dumb blond!" His unexpected arrival was extremely amusing to her, but her immense excitement was slightly dampened when he simply refused to respond. He smiled to himself, still staring at the ground and wisely keeping his mouth shut.

Garmadon finally turned away from the edge, for he was rather intrigued by the peculiar discourse that had sprouted up around him. He was pleased to find that his pathetic little brother had indeed been recovered, but his eyes narrowed with heavy suspicion when he saw just which ninja was accompanying his top general.

"So why are you here?" he asked angrily, frowning with disdain as he peered curiously at the disgraced ninja. Lloyd had just been ousted in a very dramatic fashion, cast aside and left for dead as the Sons of Garmadon conquered his city. And yet, here he was again, despite having suffered serious, possibly life-threatening injuries in their previous battle. Lloyd pondered the question for several moments, before taking a deep breath and finally looking up at his host.

"Well, I'm here because the princess invited me." he answered cheekily, smiling gleefully and tilting his head slightly to point towards Harumi. She immediately recoiled at the witty remark, but it was technically true. With one little quip Lloyd had managed to twist the situation in his favor, quickly turning Garmadon and the other generals against Harumi instead of him.

"How interesting." Garmadon muttered, his blood red eyes cutting like daggers as he considered the audacious claim. "And why would she do that?"

"My Emperor, I tracked down your son and brother, just like you asked, and, when faced with a choice between committing suicide or surrendering his freedom, Lloyd took the second option." Harumi stated coolly, maintaining her composure despite the heavy scrutiny she was now under. "Now, I originally thought that this self-righteous runt would never admit defeat under any circumstances, but he has come here of his own accord and I cannot claim that his intentions are disingenuous."

This brought up a smattering of laughter from the other generals, but they quickly grew still as Garmadon glared at them menacingly. This was a delicate matter, and one he intended to mull over without any interjections. His scarlet eyes were cold and uncompromising, darting between Lloyd and Harumi before he finally chose to continue grilling his faithful subordinate.

"What exactly has this foolish boy done to convince you of his loyalty?" he asked calmly, his voice effortlessly controlled and intimidating in an almost tactical manner. Harumi frowned in annoyance, narrowing her eyes as her patience began to wear thin. She had known going in that this would be an uphill battle, but it was not something that she expected to be so mentally draining. They were only just getting started and she already felt enraged beyond belief, consumed by some muddled sense of glowering discontent.

"Lloyd was willing to throw away his only means of communication with the ninja while also giving them the impression that he was killing himself." Harumi responded succinctly, her tone beginning to strain with annoyance. She looked over at Lloyd, motioning for him to corroborate the story. He nodded slightly, running his hands through his hair as he turned towards the Emperor.

"Yeah, we used these little earpieces to talk." he mumbled, furiously pushing his hair out of the way to act as a visual aid. "And as you can see, I don't have mine anymore." It probably wasn't necessary to provide direct evidence that he no longer had his communicator, but he figured it was worth doing since Garmadon did seem fairly skeptical of Harumi's testimony. He turned around slowly, making sure that Garmadon and the other generals could clearly see his bare skin before continuing.

"Anyway, those backstabbing ninja were supposed to pick me up with the Destiny's Bounty, but they never showed up." Lloyd said bitterly, with a twinge of genuine anger seeping into his otherwise mellow tone. "I was stranded on some metal catwalk, with the only escape route being certain death. I wasn't particularly keen on losing my life, so instead I've simply thrown away my life as a ninja."

"Bullshit!" Ultra Violet cried, finally losing her grip and interjecting with an unsolicited opinion. "My Emperor, he's just trying to trick us, I know it!" With one look Garmadon put her in her place, quelling her rebellious spirit once more. It wasn't that he didn't value her input per se, but he had his own suspicions and the less voices there were, the easier it would be to root out the truth in this increasingly perplexing situation.

"Why do you believe him?" Garmadon asked, ignoring his son and choosing once again to direct all of his queries at Harumi. Lloyd was both relieved and concerned by how much he was nagging on her, for, while he appreciated not being under as much scrutiny, he figured that it was more a sign of disrespect than anything else. He once again dismissed his worries, trying his best to keep his focus on the present conversation.

"Well, for one thing, I've never once seen Lloyd show any real acting talent." Harumi admitted. "And he's so socially awkward that you can usually tell when he's lying, I mean, he'll get all fidgety and start rambling with his words. Basically, the way I see it, either he's telling the truth, or in the past hour he's spontaneously developed the ability to convincingly lie."

Lloyd's face went bright red as he took in the needlessly blunt criticism and with it his trademark awkwardness finally broke through the calm facade. Harumi wasn't really wrong on any fronts and, while he was certainly aware of his lacking social skills, her almost visceral tone just caught him off guard. He recovered quickly of course, playing it off with a nervous chuckle and nodding his head solemnly.

"Yeah, that's me." Lloyd muttered, smiling slightly as he buried his shame. While he had definitely been taken aback by the brutal honesty, he also couldn't help but feel reassured by how genuine her argument was. For obvious reasons she didn't fully trust him yet, but it seemed apparent that she wanted to believe it. Some part of her wanted it to be true.

Garmadon frowned, silently considering the plea with the utmost puzzlement. He was not easily trusting and, while he was still very suspicious of the ninja's true motivations, there weren't any obvious holes in her logic. His general had given a pretty compelling argument and now it was time to see whether Lloyd would be able to stick to his story under pressure.

"Why are you really here?" Garmadon asked venomously, finally turning his attention back to his rebellious son. Lloyd looked up quickly, his face marred by both dread and surprise. Those telling emotions were wiped away almost instantaneously however, and his guilt was not immediately apparent to anyone present. His expression shifted to one of deep thought, as he decided to take his sweet time before answering.

"You once told me that every boy has a choice to grow up to be whoever he wants to be." Lloyd began softly, leading off his argument with a somewhat sentimental anecdote. "But in reality, you never had that choice and neither did I. Destiny picked me to be the Green Ninja, and, whether I wanted to or not, I had to play that role. We were both pawns in an endless cycle of chaos and catastrophe; a pair of contrasting aces in some ineffable game of poker. Destiny always wants us to fight and, frankly, they usually want me to win because I'm on the side of the angels. These ideals of right and wrong, good and evil; they're never as simple as we all like to believe."

He paused, taking a deep breath and glancing over at the other generals. There was no longer any sense of ridicule or amusement in their expressions; they were rapt to attention, listening in awe and taking in his speech with genuine interest. He smiled to himself before turning back to Garmadon and further elaborating on his point.

"It's always been my responsibility to stop criminals, whether they be petty thugs or supernatural beings from alternate realms. My job was to uphold and enforce the legal codes that our society chooses to abide by, and most of the time that makes defining morality very easy. So when I heard that a criminal biker gang was stealing ancient relics, I internalized these oversimplified beliefs and made it my mission to stop you all. Of course we all know how well that worked out."

Just as he anticipated, this drew a chorus of laughs from his listeners, who all seemed to be warming up to his presence more and more. Harumi was curtly nodding in agreement, chuckling under her breath at the self-deprecatory humor. Garmadon didn't react visibly, and Mr. E was just as silent as ever, but both Killow and Ultra Violet looked a lot less skeptical. For the first time since his arrival they were laughing with Lloyd, not at him. And when he smiled back at them, he didn't even feel like he had to force it.

"Ultimately, it was her worshipfulness, the Jade Princess, who shattered that illusion." he said bitterly, glancing over at his former girlfriend with a dejected look on his face. "She preyed on my innocence and had a feast, abusing my naiveties for her own personal gain. Is she in the wrong? Legally speaking, yes, most definitely. But morally? I don't know."

"No foe I've faced before has been so ambiguous and enigmatic, sowing a twisted web of emotional context that continually clouds my judgement." he spat, glaring at her with a fiery glint in his eyes. "My neat little world with its simple and clear villains has been destroyed forever, and now these fundamental questions of morality have been troubling me for days on end. Ever since you were freed from custody I've just felt distracted; like I was caught up in some sort of existential crisis."

"I couldn't handle the stress of it all so I cut my friends out of the equation entirely and went to confront you alone." he said quietly, turning his attention away from Harumi. "I was desperately trying to salvage some semblance of order to my world and I almost paid the ultimate price for my foolishness. But I endured, and I've really started to wonder why I'm still here. Destiny spared me, but for what reason?"

"Well, I wasn't sure why I was kept alive until earlier this evening, when my friends left me for dead. In that moment it finally dawned on me that I'm not meant to be the Green Ninja anymore. My flashy powers are all but gone and I think that's Destiny's way of saying that I can finally choose to be who I want to be."

Lloyd stopped short, silently looking up at his father and letting him fill in the rest. He was still hesitant to lie and the natural progression of conversation would force him to do so if he said anymore. Everything up to that point had been technically true, which just went to show how great of a public speaker he could be. This had been quite possibly the most trying test of his life, to speak with such passion and energy when he was under so much emotional duress. But that was just who Lloyd was. He could only find his voice when it truly mattered most.

It had been such a convincing pitch because those questions of morality really had been at the back of his mind; slowly seeping into his steadfast ethics as his life fell into ruin. He had felt aimless and lost, only managing to persevere by giving himself one very clear objective: to bring down the Sons of Garmadon. And now, through sheer improvisation alone, he had inadvertently stumbled upon the complicated study of philosophy.

His heartfelt and thought-provoking message had a profound effect on everyone standing on that roof, barring the nindroid, of course. The draining self-reflection had left Killow and Ultra Violet utterly dumbfounded, stunned into silence as he brutally deconstructed the strange world they all inhabited. Harumi was both enthralled and terrified; she had no clue whether to feel proud or guilty for bringing Lloyd to such a startling realization. And, as much as he tried to hide his approval, a smile was beginning to cross Garmadon's face.

"You may stay." he muttered, almost annoyed that he hadn't found a trace of duplicity in the boy. "For now." Lloyd bowed enthusiastically before scampering back downstairs, relieved that he had evidently managed to gain their trust. He barely had to exaggerate his excitement, and, although he couldn't quite comprehend all of his confusing emotions, a small part of him was beginning to feel like he actually belonged here.

"So what about Wu then?" Harumi asked impatiently, holding up the child that she was getting tired of holding. She still felt kind of disconcerted by Lloyd's speech, so changing the subject seemed like a pretty good idea. Garmadon perked up at the question and with it his malicious smile began to widen.

"Oh, I almost forgot about you brother mine!" he said gleefully, strolling over in order to properly reintroduce himself. "I think he'll require some… special accommodations."

Wu had never been more terrified in his life.

So this was just supposed to be a small, experimental side project but as usual it's turning into a morally ambiguous deconstruction of Ninjago itself. I wasn't really expecting to get so much positive feedback after only writing the first chapter but I guess ambivalent espionage stories have a much wider appeal than I originally thought. Lloyd really is just a bundle of angst though, so I don't know, I guess it's not too much of a stretch. Regardless, I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out, and I'm especially proud of how I wrote his closing arguments there.