Chapter 303- The Wrong Way to Put Out a Fire Part 2

TW: Portrayal of domestic abuse.

"From now on, we're keeping Shoto away from the other kids." Enji had decided after Toya's attack. "I'm too busy with work to look after him… I've hired some help for that. But you need to keep your eyes on Toya at all times."

Rei had just put baby Shoto down on a mat for his nap. She didn't even look Enji in the eyes as she gave her response. "He just wants you to pay attention to him. To notice him. Is that too much for you?" For a second, Enji was silent, and Rei was bracing herself for another scolding. She rarely ever talked back to him, and when she did it always ended with him reprimanding her for not seeing things the way they should be seen, according to him.

But to her surprise, his response was given with a shaky voice. "All I can show him is the world of heroes… That's all I can show anyone…"

"Heroes?" Rei echoed. Enji turned to leave the room, not noticing the cold eyes following him. "Aren't you just running away?"

Enji stopped and turned back, meeting her gaze. Her icy complexion never changed, daring him to explain himself. His own eyes were shaking with frustration, but something else he never let himself feel even in the most dire situations was threatening to spill into his heart.

Dread.

Five years later, and the now 13 year old Toya Todoroki had just been invited to go out and play with Fuyumi and Natsuo. He had been sitting at the computer, doing some homework for his class, but nevertheless agreed to join his siblings in a supervised game of soccer in the front yard.

During the game, which Toya was barely paying attention to, he could see the figure of his youngest brother, Shoto, watching them play. Shoto was clearly anxious to join them, his eyes glued not to the ball but to his siblings as they laughed and played.

Suddenly Enji appeared behind the young boy, and taking him by the arm, dragged him away from the window and into their secluded training room reserved only for them. No doubt Enji was telling him about how Shoto belonged to a different world than his siblings, trying to make the boy forget about his foolish notions of enjoying a beautiful afternoon with his family.

Toya glared in their direction. The burning anger and resentment he held for them was inexplicable even to him at this point. He just knew they were keeping him out, because his father and mother didn't believe he was strong enough. Because Shoto was somehow special compared to him. It made him sick… Even if he admitted he wasn't stronger than Shoto, he should still be allowed to try, right? He hadn't given up yet, so why had everyone else?

"I mean, that one time was my fault, I'll admit! Shoto didn't do anything wrong, but Dad Is to blame too!" Toya ranted to a sleepy Natsuo. It was late at night, and both boys were supposed to be asleep, but Toya had too much on his mind to sleep. He needed to vent, and Natsuo usually listened. "He won't even pay attention to us since we're failed creations in his eyes. Isn't that crazy, Natsu? He's supposed to be a hero, and he neglects his own family!" A soft snore from Natsuo finally got him to stop, as he shook the young boy awake. "Hey, I'm serious here!"

"Why don't you bug Fuyumi about this sometime… I'm tryna sleep, and you've told me this already…" Natsuo grumbled as he turned his head back towards his pillow, quickly falling asleep. Toya was stunned into silence.

'You too, Natsuo?! You're gonna tune me out too?!' Toya thought to himself, knowing trying to wake his brother would be a waste of time. 'I'm talking to you because you're the only one who gets it?! The women in this house are good for nothing- right?!'

Toya didn't sleep that night as his mind became a storm of thoughts and rage.

Rei had just caught Toya trying to leave the house, without making his departure known to her or one of the aides around the house. That only meant one thing…

"You're trying to run off to that mountain again?!" She cried out as she gripped him by his shoulders, his back facing her as tears threatened to prick her eyes. "Your father and I told you to stop! You'll only hurt yourself; go play with Natsuo or Fuyumi, make some friends at school and hang out with them!"

"I don't need friends!" Toya snapped. "I live in a different world from them! From you! So don't tell me what to do!" That stung Rei as her grip on him loosened enough for him to begin marching towards the door.

"Toya, do you even WANT to be a hero?" She asked quietly. Toya whipped his head around towards his mother, his eyes wide as the hint of a flame began to rise in them. "I know you're suffocating right now because of your father, because of who he is to you and everyone else, and it's weighing you down so much… Toya, there's so many other paths for you to take in life. Try looking beyond that man! Look at the worlds untouched by him! I'm sure you'll find something else out there that-"

"What the hell do you know, mom?!" The flames Toya's eyes were now burning so bright as his face contorted into a scowl of pure rage. Rei was immediately stunned into silence, no longer seeing her oldest son… But someone so different, so full of fire and rage and jealousy. Those eyes… "Have you been reading some self-help books?! Finally feeling bad since you've sold yourself out to Dad?!" Rei couldn't even stammer, her mouth agape and her eyes wide. "Grandma and Grandpa were poor, so they sold you off to that man for a quick buck! I know all about it! That's how I was born, RIGHT?!"

"To-" Rei had started, but Toya had already slammed the front door shut. He was gone.

The fire won't go out.

Toya had finished his training on the mountain, which consisted of several repetitions of using his quirk on the dummies Enji had set there long ago. Due to the nature of his quirk, however, the fire would spread to some of the trees, but he wasn't worried. He had chosen a rainy day to go train specifically so the fire wouldn't spread much, and he was next to a stream with several buckets of water at the ready should things get out of hand. Just like his father had taught him to.

It was winter, and the air around him had been chilly and bitter, but after his warmups and exercise he had worked up a lot of heat both internally and externally, burning off his shirt by accident. Ever since the young boy had his puberty, everything about him had become stronger- including his quirk.

"Man… I've been making some real progress! 'Quirks are just another bodily function, so the more worked up I get, the stronger it becomes!'" He quoted his father's words from one of their training sessions. "Yeah, looks like that was true. I'm pretty awesome now!"

'If Dad saw this, I bet he'd be super impressed.' He thought to himself. As his body had changed and grown, so had his quirk; he watched as the intense blue flames melted down the training dummies, faster than they ever had when he was a kid. But for some reason, he could feel tears beginning to roll down his face. He couldn't exactly understand why.

After his training session, he went home and found his father wandering the halls. Unable to contain his excitement, the young man invited his father to come with him to the training spot.

"You gotta come see what I can do! You're gonna be so amazed!" He said, a smile on his face. The smile did not reach his eyes.

Enji, immediately understanding what his son was up to, grabbed his son's shirt and yanked it upwards, confirming his fears. All along his body were burn marks, red and swollen.

'New burns where he could keep them hidden?! Has he been training this way on purpose?!' Enji's mind raced, fear and anger boiling in his stomach. "Dammit, Toya! What have you done?!"

"No wait, I'm serious!" Toya nervously responded, scratching at his neck as tears formed in his eyes. His smile remained. "It's super cool… I've gotten so much stronger, you gotta see it! H-Heck, I might even be as awesome as Shoto now! Then we can both surpass All Might, and you'll have two kids as the best heroes! Wouldn't that be awesome, dad?!" Enji only stared on, anger and shock overriding his thoughts. "Then you'll be proud you made me too, right?!"

Enji had left without saying another word. He knew Toya was foolish… He knew he was being driven by petty jealousy over his brother, anger towards himself for not living up to his father's expectations… But Enji's rage was only directed at one person right now, and he found her sitting with Shoto in her lap, watching the TV. As soon as he entered the room, he stormed over to his wife, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt, making Shoto tumble out of her lap. He couldn't even see her face as he smacked it hard.

Rei fell to the floor, her face obscured by her hair as she stared down. Shoto immediately ran over to Enji and began slamming his little fists against him, screaming at him to stop, but Enji couldn't hear anything but the sound of his own voice as he heavily reprimanded Rei's inability to keep Toya under her supervision.

"I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING, TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM!" He roared. "THAT'S ALL I ASKED YOU TO DO! You're here with Shoto, even after I told you to keep them separated?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Enji sat up in his hospital bed, remembering that moment too clearly. Rei continued to look at him with her cold eyes. Fuyumi was holding back tears, as Natsuo scowled at the floor. Shoto had his back turned, but he could hear the slightest sniff come from his youngest son.

"Rei… I…-"

"No. I'm not done." Her voice was hardened and flat. Enji closed his mouth. "I knew my options were limited. I knew what you said about it being only my responsibility was you just avoiding responsibility. But even still… He was my son. And I had made my choice to let him go that day, and I have to live with that. I told myself I couldn't stop him. I let him go."

Enji almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. Rei… No, she was horribly abused by him. He had to admit to that, and he would thousands of times over and over. He broke her and spurred her downward spiral. Why was she still blaming herself?

"You had abused me." She said, as if reading his thoughts. "You put me and my family through hell and back. There's no question about that. But even still, I let what happened next happen. I let your eyes… the eyes you passed down to my children… I let them haunt me. Every time I saw you, Toya, or Shoto, I let myself become afraid." She turned her head to Shoto, staring directly at his scar. Everyone was speechless now.

"No, Rei…" Endeavor said, his eyes filled with tears and his voice shaky. "That was… me. I caused that. Don't blame anyone but me for that-"

She turned back towards him. "After I was put in the hospital, I heard about how Toya died, and my heart and mind completely shattered. But you… You never went after him to stop him either, did you?"

Enji felt a pang of guilt as she continued to stare at him. "You're right… I never did. I told myself I'd only make things worse, but… I think the truth is that I didn't know what to say to him. I was scared of having to say something to him." Enji watched as Rei's face softened, and her eyes moved down, their hardened glimmer gone.

"So was I."

Dabi thought back to the day he had "died". He had finished another unsupervised training session, and was now crying as his anger and guilt erupted inside of him, spurred on by his intense training.

'I had felt so much guilt for what happened to mom, but I couldn't stop myself anymore.' Dabi thought. 'Plus… I really didn't know what else to do. Not like her being gone made a difference in my life…'

He had been crying when he suddenly felt warmth around him. He had realized too late that his surroundings were all on fire. At first, he couldn't find the source of the flames- he thought for sure he'd put it all out before his tantrum- until he looked down and saw that HE was on fire. His entire body had been coated in blue flames, and as soon as he recognized it they only intensified, his skin now searing at its own touch, as fear began to override the rest of his mind.

The heat around him was suffocating him, the oxygen burning up, and he couldn't move without the pain intensifying. No matter how hard he tried to focus, his mind was racing too fast and his body was experiencing too much pain for it to settle down. The lack of oxygen began to take its toll on his body, as breathing became painful as his vision became blurred. He could feel himself stumbling, but he never felt the ground as his face ran to meet it. He knew he needed to move, but his limbs refused to obey. He just laid there, as the world around him grew dark and the flames began to tear through his skin, the pain only now numbing. The fire still wouldn't go out.

'Man, that hurt so bad. He had only ever taught me how to intensify the flames, never turn them down, so… I was kinda screwed. But I guess that's what I deserved, with how much I pushed to be trained by him. I should've taken their advice.'

Dabi snorted to himself. Nah, not taking their advice led to wonderful things. Sure, he was now a psychotic murderer in league with a bunch of other psychotic murders, his body burnt to the point where he looked like a corpse, only kept together by haphazard stitchwork and luck. But hey, he got to expose his father for the monster he was. Now he could kill him and Shoto, and everything about that man would disappear.

'Glad you're finally paying some attention to me, dad.'

"I killed Toya." Enji spoke. Everyone looked at him now. He had to admit it. "I felt there was no turning back, so I poured everything into Shoto and sacrificed everything else… my family included."

"You got worse and worse as Shoto got older." Rei continued. "I couldn't stand the sight of you anymore. I couldn't stand anything that resembled you. So I let Toya go, and I tried to erase you from Shoto."

"I…" Fuyumi choked out, tears streaming down her face. "I knew, how broken we were. I knew Toya was hurting. But… I was so scared of it all, that I just stayed away from it as much as I could. I just acted like everything was okay, and I never said anything… I wasn't ever there for anyone." Natsuo rubbed her shoulder as she began to sob.

"It WAS you who caused all this." Natsuo said, pointing his glare at Enji. "And we can blame everything on you. But maybe if I just slugged you in the face, or even just protected my family from you one time, you would've manned up and talked to him." Enji winced. "Or maybe nothing would've changed. Either way, as a man and as a brother, I should've stood up to one of my sibling's bullies."

A bully… That was underselling it Enji's eyes. He had broken these kind people, dragged them down with him to a hellish level… And they were still here, calling him "dad". He didn't deserve that kindness… Why were they telling him their woes? Why were they letting HIM tell them his?

"We're here because you may be the one most at fault, but we can't deny our responsibility in all this either." Rei explained. "You may feel awful right now, and you may be weeping for yourself or us. But what you need to do now is to man up and take some responsibility." Enji looked at her, not understanding. "The kids have been telling me that you want to atone for everything, right?"

Enji nodded, his voice betraying him. Rei merely shook her head.

"You don't get to atone for any of this."

Enji could only stare on in shock as Fuyumi gasped. Shoto looked at his mother like she had two heads. Even Natsuo had lost his glare, staring in surprise at his mother's forwardness.

"I'm not saying that to be cruel. But I don't think any of us here could ever forgive you. Not when we can't even forgive ourselves. But when you're done feeling sorry for yourself, we'll be ready to finish all of this with you. So stop crying."

Enji hadn't realized tears were streaming down his face. This woman… The same woman he had broken over the course of several years… Had just broken his thoughts in one statement.

Atonement… what had it really meant this whole time to him? Repaying his debts, making up for the years of abuse… He had tried to be the best hero and father he could be, despite everything that had happened. He had accepted that he wouldn't be welcomed back into their family, and he had told them he was okay with it. But to hear it coming from his own family, his own wife… Why did it still hurt him?

Enji realized right then that she was right. There was no atonement for him, no redemption for his destruction of his family. He was hurting… but they were still hurting too. They had been this whole time. He couldn't take that hurt away or replace it with something better, even if he was given a lifetime to do it. It went far too deep for that.

Rei knew all this. She had perhaps felt the most hurt of all of them. And despite this… she was giving him a chance to do something right. Not to take away that hurt, or replace it. But to do something other than hurt them. She was giving him a chance to fix a mistake- to look his failure dead in the eyes, and DO something about it.

"Are you really the woman I married?" Was all he could ask. Rei sighed, thinking for a moment before she spoke again.

"Recently, despite suffering at our hands, Shoto has started calling me "mom" again. Despite the pain we inflicted on him, he's given me another chance to be in his life. He's been making friends at U.A., following his path, and has become a capable hero." Her eyes were glistening with pride and guilt. "Now, he's going to fight Dabi for us. He could've left us all behind, but he's chosen to stay with us to the end, and to face our mistakes with us." Enji blinked away his tears, staring at his son, who suddenly looked uncomfortable at his mother's words. "I'm following his example. I'm choosing to give you that opportunity too."

Shoto coughed as he spoke up. "I talked with mom, before we came to see you…" His voice was raspy and shaky, and he couldn't meet his father's eyes. "I thought you wouldn't be able to do it… Fight Toya I mean. I thought I'd have to do it for you. But I was wrong." Enji choked as he tried, and failed, to hold back his sobs. "Once you're done crying, then stand up with me, and we'll both take on Toya together."

Enji gave up holding his sobs back. He openly cried for his family to see, as they watched with varying ranges of sympathy and pity.

He didn't deserve them or their kindness. He had half a mind to reject it out of the respect he had for them. But he knew deep down that regardless of it all… They were right. He would be carrying his cross, and he would be largely alone. But he was thankful to them, that even as he would carry this heavy weight alone, to an end that didn't involve them in his life, he would be doing it with their support at his back.

He would face his mistakes. He would face the world that demanded answers of him. He would face himself and go forwards with no hesitation.

He would face Dabi.