A/N: Thank you to noraborealis and DarylDixon'sgirl1985 for beta reading.

Word count: 1,435

The next morning, before Tonks left Grimmauld Place, things were awkward between her and Sirius. They spoke and, outwardly, everything appeared fine, but Tonks could feel the strangeness in her bones, and she knew that Sirius could, too. As she made her excuses about going to work, she wondered idly if she'd ever reach the level of comfort with Sirius that she longed to be at.

Her whole life she had wished she had cousins. Being an only child was perfectly alright with her, but cousins would have been people she could play with and then have her own space when they went home. Technically, she had them, but never in the way she wanted. They weren't playmates; she hardly knew them at all.

She just barely made it through work. The whole day, her mind was in a different place as she dwelled on what happened. The wanted posters of Sirius were still plastered on walls throughout the Auror Office, making it impossible to avoid seeing his face when he was at his worst. She wondered what her co-workers would think if they'd seen the man as she had. It made her blood boil.

It was all she could do not to announce Sirius' innocence to the entire Auror Office. She wouldn't; she could control herself. But she wanted to.

By the time her shift ended, she couldn't bring herself to go back to her small lonely flat. She wanted to speak to someone who would empathize with her and make her feel less like she was losing her mind. Her mother was the only option.

She Flooed straight to Andromeda's from the Ministry. Andromeda took one look at her the moment she stepped out of the fireplace and wrapped her arms around her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, stroking Tonks' hair like she'd done when she was younger and her hair longer.

Tonks pulled away, trying to scoff but choking on the sound. She'd done a relatively good job of pushing away what she'd seen throughout the day, but facing her mother's sympathy, Sirius' screams felt fresh in her mind.

"Am I that obvious?" Tonks asked, dabbing at her eyes with the end of her sleeve.

"Only to your mother," Andromeda assured her with a slight smile. She ushered Tonks to one of the chairs around the kitchen table and set to work brewing tea.

"Glad to know my extensive Auror training wasn't entirely useless then," Tonks muttered. "We just have to hope I'm never investigating you for anything."

Andromeda laughed, her back to Tonks as she worked at the counter.

"I don't think we have to worry," she said. "If I'm ever under suspicion, you're the last Auror they'd be sending after me."

It was silent for a minute as the tea brewed and Andromeda fiddled around the kitchen, giving Tonks a moment to compose herself. She hadn't thought much before coming to her mother. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say or if she wanted to share the truth at all.

By the time Andromeda sat a cup of tea down in front of her and settled into the chair opposite her, Tonks still wasn't entirely confident in what she had to say. Andromeda still didn't push her as she sipped her tea in silence, but she didn't need to. Tonks blurted it out anyway.

"I spent the night at Grimmauld Place, and Sirius had a nightmare."

It wasn't a secret, and it shouldn't have been embarrassing, yet her cheeks were warm as if it was.

"Really?" Andromeda asked, worry flashing in her eyes for the first time as she sat down her cup. She ran her thumb back and forth over the cup's handle. "Azkaban couldn't have been easy," she said quietly to herself.

"I think he's losing his mind being stuck in Grimmauld Place," Tonks said quietly, her gaze on her tea. "People aren't meant to live like that. It's like he's imprisoned all over again, even if it's for his own safety. When people do visit, it's only to talk about the war. Remus can't be there all the time, and I wish I could be there more, but…"

She hesitated, glancing up at her mother only to quickly avert her gaze.

"It's kind of exhausting," she said almost under her breath. "Everytime I go, I want to be cheerful for him so he'll hopefully feel better, but I don't know how to be. Whenever I look at him, I mostly just feel sad."

SIlence fell between them for a moment before Andromeda reached across the table and cupped Tonks' hand.

"That's understandable," she said. "It's lovely of you to want to help, but you can't let yourself feel guilty for the situation Sirius is in. It's not your fault. You're doing more than enough, and if it's ever too much, it's okay to take a step back."

Tonks nodded absentmindedly, tracing the edge of her cup with the hand that Andromeda wasn't holding.

"It's not just all of that," she admitted, her cheeks burning even hotter. "There's also—"

She cut herself off, not able to get the words out. Every day that passed, she felt more ashamed, though she kept telling herself that she wasn't at fault. After all, she hadn't acted on any feelings, and she was sure Andromeda would be quick to profess her innocence. But that didn't lessen her embarrassment over liking someone she was certain didn't like her the same way.

"What is it?" Andromeda asked, giving her hand a squeeze. "You can tell me anything."

Tonks looked at her, taking in the soft brown eyes that had always been there for her when she needed it.

"It's not a big deal," Tonks insisted despite ample evidence to the contrary. "It's just… It's been a long time since you've seen Remus, hasn't it? He's… Well, I like him."

She swallowed, averting her gaze again as Andromeda smiled softly and ran her thumb across the back of Tonks' hand.

Looking instead at the stove, she forced herself to continue.

"Remus is probably the most important person Sirius has right now, and I guess I just feel kind of guilty whenever I go to Grimmauld Place and I'm more hopeful to see him than Sirius. And I want Remus to pay attention to me despite knowing how much Sirius is craving attention. I just… I don't know."

"Oh, sweetheart," Andromeda crowed, using the pet name that Tonks had long protested against.

It made her feel more pitiful because her mother only used it when she was upset. She scoffed at herself, not looking at Andromeda.

"It's not a competition," Andromeda stressed, her voice warm but firm. She squeezed Tonks' hand to emphasize her point. "As far as I can tell, you've done nothing wrong. There's nothing to be done if you have feelings for Remus. I'm sure Sirius wouldn't hold them against you. You're putting too much pressure on yourself."

Tonks couldn't share that she thought Sirius and Remus' relationship might be more than friendship. If that were true, it both made her feelings pointless and made her feel more guilty. She didn't dare spread such stories to others no matter how much she trusted her mother.

"We talked about you," Tonks said, blinking away tears and managing a small smile. "He wishes he could see you. I told him I'd make it happen even though I know there's no way too. I really wish there was."

Andromeda bit at her lip and glanced around. Tonks frowned in confusion until Andromeda stood, letting go of her hand, and tugged some parchment and a quill out of a drawer.

"There are no rules against me writing, are there?"

"No," Tonks said breathlessly.

Somehow, writing letters hadn't occurred to her. It wasn't, after all, what she really thought Sirius needed, but it was at least better than nothing at all.

"I could deliver it to him," she said, leaning forward eagerly as her mother prepared her quill. "Just don't include his name. It would be too easy of evidence for the Aurors if someone were to find it."

Andromeda smirked at Tonks in amusement.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said lightly. "Just give me some time, and I'll have this ready for you."

Tonks smiled, feeling lighter than she had since being awoken in the night.

"Of course," she said.

Pushing her chair away from the table, she stood to put her empty tea cup in the sink before leaving the room entirely. Something told her that Andromeda would prefer to write her letter in private.