They had two days of movie marathons. Tonks could hardly believe that Remus hadn't slipped away at some point with excuses for why he couldn't watch another, but he hadn't. It was the most fun Tonks had had in ages. For those two days, she forgot about the war going on outside. She dreaded returning to work on Monday, but in the end, it wasn't the Ministry that plunged them back into reality.
The owl knocked on the window late on Sunday night, not long before they'd have gone to bed anyway. On the TV was a movie about American high school students. They'd been having fun speculating about what real American Muggle schools must be like, but the atmosphere died as soon as Remus saw the owl.
Tonks watched him as he read. She could tell from the script on the envelope that it had come from Dumbledore, and the look on Remus' face as he read confirmed what he'd had to say.
"I need to return to the wolves tomorrow," Remus confirmed for her anyway. He cleared his throat as he stored the parchment back in the envelope. "It shouldn't take long. There are some things that Dumbledore wants me to learn, and then I'll be back to update the Order on what I've seen and heard."
Tonks stared at him. She'd known it was coming of course. They'd even discussed it. Yet it felt too soon.
"You should get more time to mourn," she said. It was the first time either of them had even alluded to Sirius since she'd first brought Remus to her flat, but she didn't think about that as she got worked up. "It's not right for him to send you back there yet."
"We're fighting a war." Remus spoke calmly, but he didn't look at her. "There isn't time for us to mourn yet. You Know Who will keep building his forces. We have to fight back any chance we get. Not doing so will only put us at a disadventage."
Tonks pressed her lips together. She'd thought she understood duty. A sense of duty was why she'd become an Auror and joined the Order, but this just felt unfair. If it was duty, then she still had a lot to learn.
"There are others who can—"
"Who?" Remus snapped, making Tonks freeze. When he continued, his voice was not very gentle. "Who would go? I'm the only werewolf in the Order. There's no one else who we could trust not to turn on us. I'd love for there to be others. I've tried before, but it never works out. So I keep trying. There are other Aurors. There are even other Aurors in the Order. If you need a break, you can take one, and I'm glad that's the case, Dora. I can't join the Ministry like you can. I can't rely on others to finish what I've started. This is the one thing I can do, and no one else can. You won't be able to talk me out of it."
They stared at each other in silence for so long that Tonks lost track of time. She desperately wanted to fight back. It was unfair that Remus was in such a position, but the more she tried to put her thoughts into words, the more she realized it was useless. It was unfair, but there was no immediate fix. Remus was a werewolf, and many people were terrified of him because of it. Tonks couldn't change that. The only thing that had any hope of changing society's views was winning the war and making the world better than it had been before.
But they couldn't do that without using all the resources they had.
"You're right," she said. "I can't talk you out of it, and I shouldn't. It's not you or Dumbledore I'm mad at anyway."
Remus' facade cracked. He smiled at her and leaned forward to cover her hand with his. Tonks' eyes widened. She struggled to control her breathing as he spoke.
"It's the war, isn't it? I get mad at it all the time too, and I got even madder the first time around. None of it's fair."
He gave her hand a squeeze and pulled away. Tonks' hand suddenly felt cold. She couldn't speak.
"I'll be back in a few weeks' time," he said, fidgeting with the flap of the envelope. "It rarely takes longer than that. I'll need to update the Order. You'll see me."
"I better," Tonks muttered.
He offered her another smile that she returned, holding back tears. She followed him as he stood, and before she could think better of it, she threw her arms around him. She was grateful when he sunk into the embrace, his own arms coming around to hold her. They lost track of time as they stood there, both trying to ignore what had to come once they broke apart.