Hermione woke up early to get ready specifically with the intention of avoiding Harry, at least for that morning. The shower in the Head Girl room was tiny. She could stick out her elbows and hit both sides of the stall, but the privacy it afforded was priceless. A long hot shower went a long way to helping her relax and sort through her emotions.
She should have talked to Harry last night, and given herself time to process everything, but the first day back had been more overwhelming than she had anticipated. Now as she took her time fixing her hair and getting dressed, she decided that it wouldn't be the thing to talk to him first thing in the morning, because although she felt fine right now… Harry just always managed to make her a little more emotional about things.
Taking a deep breath, her hair nicely done, her head girl badge pinned high on her shoulder and shiny; she went to open the door to face her best friend. Or hopefully he would sleep in and she could maybe go to breakfast, avoiding the whole confrontation for a little longer!
Of Course the first thing she saw was Harry as she looked into the tiny common room. His shoulders were slumped and his hair slightly messy as he sat on the arm of the couch facing her room as he stared down at his feet. His head jerked up as he heard her door open, and he straightened up, his face tense.
"Hermione."
Just hearing him say her name in that caring way made her eyes water, and she blinked a bit, throwing back her shoulders and taking a deep breath. She absolutely refused to break down for the second day in a row. Ridiculous.
Harry approached her slowly and put his hands on her shoulders, his head ducking down a little to catch her eyes when she refused to look up. He didn't even bother with a good morning, jumping right into an apology. "I'm sorry I missed the train, Hermione. Please forgive me?"
Damn. Damn. She didn't want to do this right now! Hermione swallowed hard, keeping a tight rein on her emotions. She met his eyes, seeing the worried crease in his brow, and felt how tight his hands gripped her shoulders.
"It's not just about the train, Harry. Why couldn't you owl me? A quick note to your best friend? I don't think that's too much to ask..."
"It's not!" He agreed quickly.
"Then why didn't you?" Harry opened and closed his mouth, looking like someone had put him under a silencing charm. Hermione was just about to pull away when their common room door opened and a tall redhead in Gryffindor robes strolled in with a big grin.
"Surprise, Hermionarry!" Ron held out his arms for a hug from her.
She yanked back from Harry, and her wand snapped up, emitting a spell, hitting Ron squarely in the face. "I told you not to call me that again or I would hex your eyebrows off Ronald Weasley!"
Ron let out a startled yelp, his hands coming up to cover his face.
"Merlin! Hermione that hurt! Harry, are my eyebrows really gone?" Ron's fingers ran along where his eyebrows used to be. "Bloody hell, warn a bloke if it's your time of the month and I'll stay away!"
Harry's eyes widened as he saw Hermione's face darken dangerously.
"Ron! Shut your dumb gob!" Harry reached out to grab Hermione's wrist when her wand shot up again.
Ron seemed oblivious to how angry he was making Hermione as he continued with a mournful face as he touched his bare brows. "No, but really. Ginny always warns me because she says she wants me to survive for our mum."
Hermione could feel the shaking that started behind her as Harry tried to smother his laugh. Why was it so hard to stay mad at these idiots? She yanked her wrist out of Harry's hold and he let her go, knowing her initial burst of anger had passed.
She smoothed down her robes and then pointed at the eyebrowless Ron and then Harry in turn. "I'm going to breakfast. You are not to sit next to me- either of you."
She ignored Ron, calling out, asking how long his eyebrows would be gone as she stormed out of the room.
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Breakfast was a surreal experience for Hermione. She had Neville on one side and Seamus on the other. Neville was the Gryffindor prefect, along with Parvati. Hermione had eaten breakfast plenty of times sandwiched between Ron and Harry, so it should have been a completely comfortable experience.
Except.
Somehow, both Neville and Seamus… were… good looking? When had that happened? Neville had always been Neville, slightly pudgy and timid. But now that she was paying attention she noticed the changes that the war had wrought. Like so many of their classmates returning to repeat their seventh year he was almost too thin, and the lines of his face had sharpened, highlighting his very nice features. He had an aura of self confidence and reassurance about him that almost reminded her of Harry.
As if to highlight her inner musings, a group of Hufflepuff girls came by giggling and stopped on the other side of the table, looking at Neville. "Hi Neville! You're still going to help us with herbology like you promised this year, right?"
He gave the crowd of girls a confident smile. "Of course, although it is only the first day."
The Hufflepuffs gave stupid little giggles and waved continuing to their table and Hermione turned to Neville, her eyes wide. What ?
He laughed at her astonished expression and shrugged. "I know! It was weird at first for me too."
Ginny leaned forward hearing that, looking at them from on Seamus' other side. "Don't let him fool you Hermione, he pretends to be sweet and then dances your feet off."
Neville blushed at the comment, but his smile remained. Hermione looked over at Ginny with a smile and noticed Harry sitting next to Ginny, frowning, also looking down her way. Harry must be annoyed at the compliment Ginny gave to Neville.
Hermione leaned back so Harry was out of view. Looks like his issues with Ginny had been resolved quickly, she thought with annoyance. Hermione wondered if Ginny had been kept in the loop with what Harry had been up to and only she had been the one not knowing Ron and Harry were coming back to Hogwarts.
After breakfast, she was on her way to Arithmancy when Ron caught up with her in the corridor, pulling her into an alcove.
"Hermione! Please. I promise never to call you that again. Can you please, pretty please, fix my eyebrows?" He said, wheedling with a sheepish smile.
Hermione put her hands on her hips, leaning forward. "You couldn't have owled me? Told me anything? I mean, I know you're too lazy to even write me my own letter-"
"Well, Harry-" Ron began but was cut off.
"Hey." They both looked over to see Harry standing in the corridor. "What about me?"
Ron straightened, putting his arm around Hermione's neck, ignoring her poking him in the side with her elbow to get him off. "I was just telling my favorite Head Girl that she should have mercy on me and fix my eyebrows."
"Fine." She shoved him off, getting her wand to tap at his forehead, immediately little hairs sprung up above his eyes.
"Thank you! Let's sit together at lunch, okay? You're not mad anymore, right?" Ron asked her hopefully.
"Fine, we need to get to class, though. Do you have Arithmancy first too?"
"Blimey, no!" Ron laughed at the idea. "I took the lightest schedule possible. I'm going to have some fun this year." He grinned at her before ducking back out of the alcove and striding off confidently.
Hermione looked at Harry expecting him to be amused, but he looked upset, a little crease in his brow as he stared after Ron.
"He won't have a unibrow forever. I'm sure someone will tell him. Really it's not even-" She tried to reassure him.
"Let's get to class, yeah?" Harry cut her off, starting to move towards Professor Vector's classroom.
Hermione trailed after him, wondering how it had gone from her being mad at Harry before breakfast to him being obviously cross with her after breakfast. Was he really that mad about Ron's eyebrows? He had to know she wouldn't really have hexed them off permanently and the unibrow thing was easily fixed.
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As classes for the first day progressed, Harry tried his best to act normal and pay attention. He was weirdly glad he didn't have all his classes with either Ron or Hermione. His emotions were obviously still wonky from… the incident.
Ron had shown up at Grimmauld yesterday September first, ready to go with him to see Hermione off to Hogwarts. Instead, he had found Harry packed to go back with her to repeat his seventh year. Ron had been utterly astonished. Harry, for his part, had been equally shocked that Ron hadn't known what had happened—he had assumed the MLE grapevine would have informed his friend.
Ron had stared at him intently for several minutes after Harry had explained what he was doing before announcing that he would quit too and go with Harry to Hogwarts.
"You don't have to do that mate, I know you wanted to be an auror." Harry had told him, remembering that when they talked about life after Hogwarts, Ron had actually been the first one to say he thought being an auror was cool way back in their fifth year of school.
Ron had laughed, sticking his hands in his robe pockets leaning back a bit, the auror robe parting slightly to reveal the regulation slacks and shirt he wore underneath. "I don't want to be weird about this Harry, but I joined for you."
"What!"
"I mean, I am good at this—really, mate—better than I thought I would be, although the paperwork is almost worse than taking divination again. But." Ron had paused, looking up to the ceiling, briefly avoiding Harry's gaze. "I uh—I was just—I just wanted to have your back, you know? I get I'm not as smart as Hermione–really who is? But I can be there for you if you need me."
Ron swallowed hard, still not meeting his gaze, and Harry had known he was thinking of their fight when Ron had stormed off during the horcrux hunt.
Harry had rubbed a rough hand over his face. "Ron. That's… that's… I can't even!"
Ron finally met his eyes and grinned, shrugging. "We're best mates, right? You want to keep fighting. Well then, I'm going to fight with you."
"Yeah, you're my best mate." Harry spun around, walking towards the fireplace quickly, discreetly wiping at his eyes. Bloody git.
"Where are you going?"
"To help you get into Hogwarts, we need to split up because we're short on time. You need to resign from MLE, register at Hogwarts and get your supplies. You have to take care of handling your resignation. I can't help you with that part, but I'll talk to McGonagall and get you registered at Hogwarts. I think she'll be willing to bend the rules because she wanted us all back, anyway. And then we'll handle the supply list and your packing together because that's going to take the longest."
Ron clapped his hands together and said in a satisfied voice. "This will make it so much easier to see Hermione, too. I'm a shit letter writer and it was pissing her off. Did you know she sent me a howler because I wasn't writing to her often enough? The paperwork mate, the paperwork! She doesn't understand. My hand was literally cramping. And she wrote to me so much! I haven't even had a chance to read all her letters yet since I've been so busy."
After that, things became so hectic that Harry hadn't paused to think about what Ron's statement meant in relation to Hermione. He was focused on helping Ron. Harry visited McGonagall and got things arranged with her so that Ron would have a bed and classes. He had been right about her reaction. McGonagall had practically glowed with satisfaction that all of them were returning for their N.E. .
Harry had missed pretty much the entirety of the first day, getting there barely before curfew, and had set about unpacking. When he heard the knock, it was like a streak of lightning hitting him. Hermione!
It wasn't until he saw her face that he really considered how everything must have felt from her perspective. After the incident, he had just wanted some time to make sure that when he saw her, he wouldn't… Do anything weird. Act weird. Have weird thoughts. Looks like he hadn't avoided her long enough for that.
He had barely been able to sleep because his mind gave him so many jumbled thoughts. Then seeing her that morning, why was her hair different? Why would she change it? Why did he have fucking butterflies in his stomach every time she met his eyes?
Both Neville and Seamus had been… looking at her. He had looked over at Ron several times during breakfast and all Ron had been doing was keeping his head down, rubbing at his missing brows.
Harry couldn't understand why his friend hadn't said something or at least been angry, Ron had left them just a few months ago with the main driver of his behavior being jealousy over Hermione! Then Ron had just a few short weeks ago, begged him to cancel their outing so he could have more time with her, but now he didn't even notice what was going on just three people away?
Between fending off Ginny trying to feel up his thigh and watching Neville, NEVILLE, of all people flirt with Hermione, the day hadn't been off to the best start. Then, as if Ron realized, too late, maybe he should talk to Hermione, he pulled her aside to flirt with her and get her to give him his eyebrows back.
He just needed to stop focusing on Hermione and –
What? He didn't have a clue.
He had a free period before lunch and went to the bathroom after class let out. As he was washing up to leave, Draco fucking Malfoy walked in. The very first thing Harry saw was the shiny metal of a prefect badge pinned to his shoulder.
"What the fuck is that?" Sure Harry had testified and told the truth during the Malfoy trial. Draco had, if you squinted really hard, potentially tried to avoid identifying them when they were captured and brought to Malfoy Manor. That didn't mean he deserved to be a prefect. What was McGonagall thinking?
The only sign of nervousness Draco displayed was briefly licking his lips as he looked stone faced at Harry. "Potter."
The image of how upset Hermione had been last night flashed again into his mind. What if it hadn't been all because of him and Ron?
Before he knew quite what he was doing, Harry had Malfoy pinned against the wall, his wand shoved against his throat, while Malfoy kept his hands up, not moving to defend himself. "Did you say anything to Hermione on the train?"
"No, I didn't say a word to her." There was something about Malfoy's voice when he said it.
So uncertain. Harry's mind replayed Draco's behavior at Malfoy Mansion.
Well, Draco? Is it Harry Potter?
I can't — I can't be sure.
Draco, come here, look properly! What do you think?
I don't know.
Look, Draco, isn't it the Granger girl?
I… maybe… yeah.
He's lying, his mind whispered to him. Malfoy's yelp and the gasps behind him penetrated Harry's mind first, and he glanced behind him seeing a group of younger Gryffindor students he didn't recognize. Then the pain hit him and he realized he had smashed his hand into the wall next to Malfoy's head.
Harry backed up, straightening his robes, ignoring the painful throbbing of his hand. Harry eyed the other wizard coldly. "Do us both a favor this year, Malfoy. Don't speak to Hermione at all. It wouldn't end well for either of us."
As soon as he exited the restroom, Harry stumbled a little; the adrenaline leaving him, and he ducked into the first empty classroom, practically running to a forgotten trash can in the corner to throw up. He fell to his knees, heaving again before sitting back on his ass, breathing hard.
"Fuck." He jerked to the side as pain radiated up his arm from his left hand, picking it up to inspect it. He had broken his stupid hand.
Harry had been so angry, for a moment there he had hated Malfoy as much as he had hated Tom Riddle. Harry took a deep breath, trying to calm down. No way was he letting anyone know what he had done. Hopefully, those students kept their mouths shut because he honestly couldn't remember their faces.
Harry vanished the sick in the wastebasket and stood up to go to Madam Pomfrey. Not even a full twenty-four hours back at Hogwarts and he was going to the hospital wing.
Yeah, he was definitely back at Hogwarts.
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Harry kept his expression bland as he stared up at Madam Pomfrey's skeptical face.
"You fell down and broke your hand?" Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips at him.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Harry Potter. I am a magical healer and in addition, I have attained an advanced practice degree in nursing from a muggle university. I know exactly what type of force creates these fractures in the metacarpal neck of your hand-–and it's not falling down."
Harry's eyes widened. He hadn't realized the healer would have taken muggle courses. But he kept his mouth stubbornly closed about the true nature of the injury. "How do you get this type of injury, then?"
"By punching something-–or someone. So, should I prepare for someone with a broken nose to arrive shortly?"
"No. I didn't punch anyone."
Pomfrey nodded and continued muttering healing spells. "You're lucky it's just fractures. You should be out of here in just a minute with only some soreness. Take it easy on your hand for a day or so and you should be fine."
Harry rubbed his sore hand, looking around the school hospital with its rows of beds. Normally, he couldn't wait to get out of here. But those spells Madam Pomfrey cast lingered on his mind. They didn't look too complicated–if he had known them, he wouldn't even have had to come here. He could have healed himself.
He could have helped Herm–
"Madam Pomfrey?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think I could, um, maybe come during my free time to try to learn more about healing magic?"
Madam Pomfrey gave him a considering stare. "Like be my assistant?"
"Yes."
Pomfrey came and sat next to him on the hospital bed. "The headmistress told me you declined the mind healing sessions offered by the ministry."
Harry was already shaking his head. "I don't need it and I don't want to talk to anyone."
She tapped his sore hand, causing it to twitch, and Harry looked away sheepishly. "You know, if you are interested in healing arts, speaking to a mind healer would give you a better understanding of other types of healing."
Harry took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He understood that she wanted him to talk to the mind healer and was manipulating him a little bit to reach that goal, but her points were valid. The more he thought about it, the more determination filled him. If something happened to someone he cared about, he didn't want to be helpless again. He wouldn't just cry hunched over a tiny body while they bled to death into the sandy shore.
He squeezed his eyes shut, turning his thoughts away from that memory. "Fine. I just want to learn all I can then."
He felt her hand give his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Come by whenever you can and I promise you, I will teach you as much as I can about the healing arts."
He opened his eyes to meet Madam Pomfrey's serious gaze and nodded. "I will."
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It was easier than Hermione could have ever imagined falling into old habits that evening, joking and doing homework with Harry and Ron in the tiny common room between the head boy and head girl rooms. Far from being awkward it felt comfortable, Ron cracking jokes and pulling them off track. Harry was more easily distracted by him and she pulled their attention back to their homework.
Finally, Ron yawned and stretched. "Ugh, today has been a long day. I need to get back to the Gryffindor dorms. You guys are so lucky. I mean, not that I would want to be head boy with my sister. We'd probably end up breaking things when we fought."
Hermione gave Ron a confused look. "What?"
"Oh, you know just what Harry told me about you."
"Ron–" Harry tried to cut in, but Ron talked over him.
"That damn locket made me so jealous of you guys, but it was for nothing, because Harry told me after I destroyed it that he doesn't think of you like that. That you're like a sister to him and you feel the same way. He loves you like I love Ginny."
"Oh." Hermione avoided looking at Harry. He had always been her best friend. She was glad he loved her… like a sister.
She was glad, and the feeling that felt like her chest was getting crushed was just because she was really, really tired. Ron leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek goodnight before gathering his stuff and leaving with a quick goodnight to them both.
It was like Ron took all the oxygen in the room when he left. The air was uncomfortably heavy as they sat before the empty fireplace.
"Hermione–"
"I should–"
They both stopped and Harry spoke again into the silence. "Sorry, go ahead."
"I should go to bed." She stood up and began to gather up her parchment and books. "What did you want to say?"
When he spoke, his voice was low, with a strange tone. "What Ron said...Is that how you feel about me?"
Was he asking her for reassurance? She clenched her fist so hard she felt her fingernails dig into her skin. If he needed her to love him like that, she would. She would. She looked over at him, but he wasn't looking at her. His face turned downward, the candles reflecting off his glasses, making it impossible to tell what he was thinking.
She braced herself and walked around to the back of the couch where he was sitting, leaning over and hugging him from behind as he sat there. Squeezing him tight as she whispered reassuringly. "Yeah, I love you like that, Harry."
Pulling back, she ruffled his hair. "Sweet dreams, Harry."
He didn't look up, or move as he responded to her. "You too."
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Harry kept himself busy after that first day, very busy. Too busy to obsess over who Hermione was talking to. Neville, Seamus, Dean, Anthony, and Theodore fucking Nott. The Slytherin swot was doing his best to deviously charm Hermione with his over the top studying habits.
He made remarks to Ron several times about it–Ron had ditched them during the Horcrux hunt for a lot of reasons but mainly because of his jealousy — granted he was under the influence of the locket, but still–and now he was okay with these sods just hanging about Hermione? Maybe Neville wasn't a sod, and he did appear to have something going with Hannah Abbot, but he was entirely too comfortable putting his arm around Hermione.
But Harry was too busy to pay attention to those things too much. Very busy. The timing of his free period proved to be a major boon because his free period happened to coincide with Professor Slughorn, who had stayed on to teach, having a second year potion class and there was almost always some accident that happened during that period.
It was a learning method Harry was very familiar with, trial by fire. Such as when six students came running into the infirmary crying with large boils, and Harry had to make sure each child was individually evaluated with diagnostic charms to make sure they missed no unusual symptoms or other maladies. Then he helped administer the appropriate potions to relieve their symptoms.
One little Ravenclaw girl stared at him with wide eyes as he helped her and he gave her a reassuring smile. "Feel better?"
She blinked at him in recognition before asking uncertainly. "Are you a healer, too?"
"Yes I am. Don't you feel better?"
She gave him a shy smile, nodding, and it was suddenly the best moment he'd had since deciding to come back to Hogwarts.
You can be anything, Harry Potter.… You can be a healer...Anything.
He watched the kids get discharged one by one back to their classes until finally he was alone with Madam Pomfrey and she looked over to give him a smile. "Feels good right?"
"Yeah… brilliant, really."
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The day of Quidditch trials rolled around, and even though Harry considered giving it up… the truth was he really liked playing. The day was perfect, the sun shining with a bright blue sky, not a cloud in sight, and a nice breeze to kept it from being too warm.
"Harry!"
He froze near the stands for a quick second when he heard Ginny call out his name. He still felt uncomfortable around her and they seemed to have backtracked to how they behaved when he was in third year, awkward with stilted silences. He turned around to give her a smile. "Hey Ginny."
"So you're just going to come back and take my last chance of playing seeker for Gryffindor away from me?" She smiled when she asked him so he knew she was teasing, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable at the question.
He ran a hand uncomfortably through his hair, messing it up further. "I just want to play, Ginny. If you truly want seeker I don't mind going for chaser."
"What?" Her mouth practically dropped open, obviously she hadn't been expecting this.
Harry shrugged, pulling on the tips of his hair as he shifted his weight to his other foot, leaning a bit on his broom. "I just want to play Ginny."
She stepped closer to him and he resisted the urge to step away from her as her hand came up to lay on his chest as she searched his eyes. "You've been different since the war ended, Harry. I just don't understand what's going on with you. Or what's going on with us."
Well, actually I'm a bit more fucked up than even I thought Ginny. I attacked some ICW mages… accidentally.
Harry sighed, looking away and gently removing her hand from his chest. "I'm just trying to figure things out about who I am without all that stuff hanging over me. And I care about you— a lot–but–" He paused and met her eyes, trying to let her know more than he could really figure out how to say. "I can't do any kind of relationship, Ginny."
She was still staring at him. "You like someone else." She said wonderingly.
"What! No–" Hermione's face flashed into his mind and he shoved it out.
"I could have made you happy, Harry Potter. Don't come crawling back to me if it doesn't work out."
Ginny's shoulder hit him as she walked past, causing him to take a step backward. He didn't look after her, instead bending over briefly in a brief groan at how complicated things were before straightening up to turn around and go to the tryouts.
He spun and almost walked into Hermione. How long had she been there?
Her eyes were concerned as they flicked over his face. "You okay Harry?"
Must have been long enough, dammit. He forced a smile.
"Yeah, ready to fly."
She gave him a small smile. "Don't be too awesome out there, you need to leave some for the other fliers."
His smile stretched into something more natural. "Yeah? I guess since I am head boy I need to be a little considerate…"
She held her fingers just a bit apart. "Only a little bit we don't want them getting uppity."
He laughed and almost grabbed her to hug her before he stopped himself, stepping back.
"Harry! Move your arse!" Ron screamed from somewhere on the quidditch field. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Better get out there before he throws a fit."
"Yeah." But they stood there awkwardly, looking at each other.
"Merlin's saggy front–-OW!" Ron's second scream cut off with a sharp yelp.
Their eyes widened, and Harry turned without another word to run out onto the field.
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Hermione sat in the stands watching tryouts for the Gryffindor team. It was a very different experience this time around. No need to cast a confundus to help Ron. Both her friends easily won their spots and Harry was chosen as captain again.
She looked over when someone sat near her on the row below and was surprised to see Theodore Nott plop down in a relaxed sprawl close to her. She gave him a friendly smile. He had been partnered with her in Ancient Runes and was probably the best partner she'd ever had on a school assignment.
"I didn't expect to see you here."
He shrugged, leaning back on the bleachers, his eyes on the group of red-robed quidditch players. "Maybe I'm here for you, Hermione."
She scoffed. "You don't like me that way."
Theo laughed, looking over at her. "You would know then?"
"Yeah, I think I would know."
"You're really smart– FUCK!" A bludger slammed into the bleachers perilously close to where Theo's leg had rested and it bounced off the wooden benches with a loud twang leaving a deep crack in the wood.
They both looked towards the quidditch field, where Harry waved at them a beater bat in his hand. "Sorry!" he yelled up.
Theo scooted further away from her. "I think I will be safer further away from you until Potter gets his jealousy under control."
Hermione laughed. "That was an accident, Theo! He said he was sorry. He's normally not a beater though, so I don't know why…"
Theo looked at her with his eyebrows raised. "You don't, huh? I'll just have to make sure Potter knows we're only swotty friends."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "He didn't do that on purpose."
"Ah, so Potter's skill in quidditch is overrated?"
"No…"
Theo looked at her and his face plainly said he made his point, but she shook her head stubbornly at him. Hermione had overheard his conversation with Ginny. Harry had always been bad at lying. His denial about liking someone else had been obviously untrue. She wondered who it might be.
Regardless of what Theo thought, it definitely wasn't her.
Harry told me after I destroyed it that he doesn't think of you like that. That you're like a sister to him.