List of Oneshots part 4

by yugiohfan163

Requests are not guaranteed to be done. If they get done, they get done. Don't go expecting any ideas done at the drop of a hat or expect any promises. No ones making any money off these, which means we're not obligated to rush on certain ideas.

18. Chapter 18

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 18

A man with a terrible love life ends up praying to several goddesses by mistake.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-London, England-

It was a foggy day within the capital city as everyone seems to be having no trouble navigating the thick fog. They were going to their jobs, dealing with daily problems, or just spending time outside.

But the camera zoomed towards a small apartment building as we see it was completely dark, full of pictures of Doctor Who and other franchises covered the walls as it seemed that no one was inside.

Creak!

Slam!

Until a figure entered the room and turned the lights on. "Ugh, home sweet home."

That is when we see our 'hero', a young man with short messy black hair, a feminine figure near his ass area, blue eyes, and wearing a black shirt and tight skinny jeans.

This is Tyler McGimic or Ty for short and well...he's been unlucky for a long time, no not with life and that stuff, he is the son of a comic book artist. No, his bad luck came from one thing and one thing only.

Love.

In short, never had a girlfriend, never gone on a date, not even a pity one, nor a hug from another girl. Heck, not even a kiss.

Overall, his love life stunk and he actually thought he was going to get a date from a friend of his...but that was a bust as not only did the girl not find him attractive and good for her, it was discovered that she was a he.

So yeah...he's kinda down in the dumps right now.

"Another boring and lifeless day, woop de due." He grumbled while heading to his bed and fell on it with a thud. "Fuck my life."

As he had his head within the soft pillow, he cursed his life and his inability to find love of any kind.

"I'm doomed to die alone aren't I? I'll grow up old, alone, and dead inside." Tyler grumbled. "And on my bloody tombstone it will say I'm a pathetic virgin or some shit. Ugh...why me? Why?!"

That was when he decided to pray to someone...the only problem was that he was so pissed and in the process of depression that his brain just couldn't think properly and he just mixed everything up in his head like a bowl of alphabet soup in a blender.

"To hell with it! Whoever hears me can help!" He yelled. "Just help me! To all you spaghetti deer creatures with extra arms and cocks the size of men out there! Help me you fuckers! Help me!"

This kept on for a long while as he kept on saying the most ridiculous sentences in any language.

"Bird god! Cow goddess and foxes with corn hands! Help me! Just help!" He cried while he started to ramble a little. "I need help! You hear me? Help a guy out for once in your long and boring lives!"

Silence.

"Boar goddess, fox goddess, cow and bird goddesses! Help me fix my love life! I will do anything, ANYTHING!" He cried out while crying his eyes out. "I will even give you my soul! Just help me you gods of bloody humanity! PLEASE!"

Silence.

He sighed and sat on his bed and shook his head. "I might as well just go to sleep and forget this day ever happened. Maybe I'll have a less shitty dream."

As he went to bed, he didn't notice that his life was going to change, for better or for worse.

(Next morning)

Tyler yawned while waking up and got out of bed.

Only to notice that someone was watching him from right next to the right side of the bed.

"AHHH!"

"Morning." said a young woman with light tanned skin, long blackish brown hair that went to her sides, golden red eyes, two curved grey horns on both sides of her head with a golden orb in the center of it, two brown cow ears, a G cup chest and wide ass, with two gray fur covered legs with golden hooves, weaning a white robe that barely covered her chest and had a headpiece with a golden viper on her forehead. "How was your rest human?"

"W-W-Who are you?! How did you get in?! If you're here to rob me, just take my savings in my drawer!"

"No no. I'm not here for money." she chuckled. "I'm here to answer your prayers. Oh and I'm Harthor, goddess of the sky, mistress of the stars, goddess of the sun half the time, of music, dancy, joy, sexuality, beauty, love, motherhood, queenship, forign lands and their goods and the afterlife. I'm also half cow, hence the ears and stuff." she moved closer to him. "So want to have sex or at least give me some food? I'm famished."

Tyler stared at her in silence and moved over to the door. "Y-You're nuts, you're completely nuts!"

She took his hand and placed it on her right ear. "Does this prove my existence? Also I get aroused by this so don't rub too much~"

"Look lady, I don't know what you're playing at, but I don't have the cash to pay for sex."

She deadpanned before snapping her fingers and caused the sun to return to the east and made it dusk again. "My pharaoh might get mad at this, but I did give you a chance to believe me without using my powers. So, do you NOW believe me human?"

He paled seeing the sun's backwards cycle in the sky and turned to Hathor. "T….T...The sun…."

"Want me to change it back?"

"You….made it….move!"

"Yep, partial sun goddess remember~?" she smirked. "So want me to fix it or keep it like that?"

"YES!"

She snapped her fingers as the sun returned to its normal position in the sky, only for her to pant. "So...hungry...must have….food….ugh…." 'So much power...wasted.'

Tyler stared at her, still blown away, and started slapping himself to try and wake up from this dream. 'Ok! Wake up!'

Hathor looked at him while licking her lips. "Human...feed me…"

"Um...with what?"

"Anything….even sperm~"

Tyler blushed at the last part, but went to his fridge and grabbed a chicken sandwich. "Here!"

She grabbed it before eating it, causing her G cup chest to grow to an H cup chest instantly. "AH! Much better, that's the first real offering for a millenium. Ugh, I miss my huge Z cup breasts but hey, not my fault the Romans took over and turned us into demons by those monopheistic guys. Sigh...thanks Tyler."

"How do you know my name?"

"I was listening to your prayers last night, duh." Hathor chuckled. "Plus I am a love goddess, so-"

"Wait what!?"

"I'm a love goddess-"

"WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED IT!?"

She sweatdropped. "Sleeping, since my pantheon is inactive I don't look into the love lives of others like in the past. So I just was asleep and wasting away like a mummy without any offerings."

Tyler sighed while pinching his nose in frustration. "You mean to say...this whole time...I could have just made some bullshit prayer and a real goddess would have shown up? This entire time?"

"Well technically yes, but there are other pantheons and well…." she sweatdropped. "We kinda get possessive to followers, especially now that we have monotheistic religions and cults all over the place. But at least you called me first."

"Um…."

"You did right? Like you didn't just say random stuff in the prayer?"

"..."

"You didn't." Hathor said in shock and anger.

"Hey! Don't get upset with me! I was in a really bad mood, I was speaking all kinds of random stuff, and I just NOW found out that all that stuff was true! I mean….I always thought that stuff was just made up."

"If that was the case, then why did you keep believing in us?" she deadpanned. "Anyway this complicates things, if you just called out to no one in particular, ANYONE would have listened in and might be coming to answer your prayers. Oh gods….another turf war again."

That was when Tyler noticed that the sun wasn't moving from its position in the sky, even if it had been more than an hour since they talked. "Uh, you know you can just let the sun move normal right?"

"That's not me." Hathor admitted. "I haven't even called upon that power since that demonstration."

"Then why isn't it…."

"Snort."

Both turned to the door and saw a large boar with sharp iron tusks at the door as a woman with pale skin, a long blond hair that went to her large ass, sharp green eyes, a J cup chest, wearing a sheepskin fleece around her shoulders, a short skirt that revealed her many blue tattoos around her hips, with a ram's head covering her bosom and a set of boar's tusks on her around her neck, sat on it and held a lamb in her hands.

"Oh no, you." groaned Hathor.

"Hello…" she said sadly while petting the lamb. "I am Brigid, goddess of spring, fertility, healing, poetry, smithcraft, guardian of animals, inventor of keening, medicine, serpents, sacred wells, livestock, ruler of all things that are...sigh, high dimensions...like highlands….and I'm somehow a saint….sigh. I am here to answer you call human...oh hi….Harthor." 'Why her...why?'

"You mean my rambling from yesterday?"

"Yes…." she said while letting the lamb off her hands as the animals vanished into her attire. "You want love...I might be a widower and have a son that never calls me...I can make you happy….sorry."

"Wait, how? I mean with her," he pointed to Hathor. "I can sorta understand, but you don't sound like...an expert on love."

"I am." she sighed. "But I lost my motivation after...my pantheon turned into fairies and...I became a saint. Apparently saint's can't….do it. And…." she sniffled and held her hands across her face. "I lost my warrior's pride!"

Tyler flinched seeing her cry with Hathor looking unfazed.

"You do this every time." Hathor rolled her eyes. "Just grow a spine and get a few followers."

"How!?" she cried while hiding under the bed. "I...I don't know who I am anymore. Am I a goddess, a saint or a fairy? I don't know and….sniff I want to stay in my mound."

He blinked while looking at Hathor. "What's with her?"

"Monotheism." she whispered. "Some deities have it rough, with her pantheon and the ones from your country, it's either become 'demons' or in her case, become fairies. She used to be a fierce goddess but well…."

"I need to...stay home…"

"She's not taking it well. I mean look at her, she looks like the world ended."

"AWAWAW!" Brigid cried while not leaving the bed.

'Sounds like it too.'

She sniffled as Tyler looked down at her. "Sorry….I will leave...sorry….sorry…."

"Stay." He sighed. "I hate seeing girls cry, especially one that's having worse luck than me."

She blinked while lightly blushing, only to cover her face. "...thanks, but I'm a pixie. A lowly girly pixie with...no life…."

'Well at least she's not crying.' Both thought at the same time, before noticing the sun was still in the same position as before.

"Did you break the sun?" Tyler asked Brigid.

"No...I rule spring...not the sun…" she said quietly. "Sorry for being...so weak and pathetic…"

"Wait, but if you didn't mess with it, then who…" Hathor muttered before seeing a beam of light hit the wall and then a mirror before a loud crash was heard in the bathroom.

"GAH! OW! Damn that sun beam!" yelled a woman from within the shower, only for the water to turn on. "FUCK! COLD!"

Tyler blinked while Hathor froze in fear.

'Not that one! Anyone but...her!'

"Uh, do you know who that was?" He asked before seeing the cow woman hiding right behind him. "Hey!"

"Hush! Do you want HER to find me!?"

"Her? Oh no, another one? How many did I call?!"

"I don't know!"

That was when a woman with dark chocolate skin, dark gold eyes with her right eye seemingly made of pure amber and stuttered with gold and lapis lazuli, short blackish white hair with five golden feathers near her ears, two massive gold wings on her back with a massive disk of gold in the middle of her wings, sharp red nails on her fingers and toes, with long black eyeliner on the sides of her eyes, a J cup chest and wide ass, wearing a single red robe that exposed her chest and ass, a golden necklace around her neck and over the top of her chest, and had a golden headpiece with a golden cobra in the center, a white circular top and a red underbase dotted with amber spires on the sides, walked out of the bathroom, soaked and with a monotone expression, and eyed the human and goddesses.

"Shit." Hathor gulped.

"Human, are you the one that called me?"

"Uh….no, you want the guy downstairs."

"Do not lie." she said as her right eye glowed as bright as a mini sun. "For you are in the presence of Ra, the lord of all creation, the denizen of the sun, the sky, the rulers of the world, and of order itself. And I demand the truth from a human such as you or I shall smite you where you stand."

Tyler paled in horror as Hathor looked ready to run.

"Now speak." She said with a hint of anger in her tone.

"I-I'm the one you seek!"

Ra looked at him before sighing a very heavy sigh. "Then I shall give you your wish….wait." she looked at Hathor and then at Brigid. "What is my daughter and this...saint doing here?"

"Sorry." Brigid cried. "I...sorry for not being a goddess...I'm sorry…."

"Mom! Stop making fun of her, only I can do that!" Hathor said in a nervous yell.

"Wait….how the hell can you be Ra?! That's a guy!"

"I am both male and female." Ra said. "But lately I have felt my female self was more ideal for this era of man, that and if I came to you as an old man with silver bones, your traumatic experience of yesterday would kill your soul entirely."

"...you're not wrong." he muttered looking away.

"Now." She said calmly. "Since you have called my daughter and the other goddess, it seems I have to banish them."

"NOOOO!" both goddesses cried out in horror

"If I had the energy that is." she said while still having a monotone voice. "But my endless battle with Apophis has drained me mentally and thus I have no strength left to even rule my own pantheon."

'Well that was anticlimactic.' thought Tyler while the other two sighed in relief. "Wait, why would you wanna banish them anyway?"

"For fun." Ra said calmly. "I did that to Set and Osiris after they destroyed Pompeii, now they are busy making funny sweaters in Cleveland. Their mother, Nut, was the one to give them that punishment."

"But isn't there a bunch of other gods who are just as important? What makes you so much better to decide all that?"

"I see everything." she pointed to her right eye. "And besides my chief doctor Isis, I am the most powerful of my pantheon, for I created the world. But as of now, I let Odin and the other 'sky fathers' keep an eye on the world."

"Oh…"

"And I saw you yesterday, kissing a picture of an anime girl named….um...oh yes. Darkness from KonoSuba, I think? Anime is not my forte." She admitted.

"N-No! I wasn't!" he blushed. "I was….reading a book on how to bake a cake."

The goddesses deadpanned at him while the sun STILL remained in its original position.

"I mean it!"

"Mom can see everything with her eye." Hathor deadpanned. "Lying about that is kinda pointless."

"Can you blame me?! My love life sucks! I didn't even think anyone would hear me ramble! I mean, why listen to a stranger go on about that? Don't you have other things to worry about? I mean if you ARE the most powerful god, or goddess, can't you just go off and deal with bigger stuff?"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"We don't have worshippers anymore." Ra said. "We are currently weak and conserving energy."

"Except one group." Hathor grumbled.

"They hate me…" Brigid sniffled.

"Who? Who do you mean?"

That was when a blast of sunlight hit the entire apartment and caused Tyler to get temporarily blinded.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He screamed while Brigid began to heal his eyes with some of her sheepskin fleece. "MY EYES! MY EYES!"

That was when the light vanished and we see a short pale skinned woman with long silver white hair that went down all the way to her feet, crimson red eyes, a long wolf like tail and pointed ears, red tattoos around her shoulders and forehead, long pink claws, a I cup chest and wide ass, wearing a long flowing red and white kimono that exposed her breasts and stomach, a necklace of green beads, and had a golden green mirror hovering around the back of her head and a golden sword on her hips, posing like a popstar. "Kon'nichiwa human! I'm the great and sexy Amaterasu-ōmikami or Amaterasu for you~ I'm the kami of the sun, ruler of my pantheon and the empress of the universe~ So give me a kiss and I will be your idol~ He he~"

"God! My eyes are on fire!" He screamed as Brigid finished healing his eyes. "...thanks."

"You're welcome….sorry." She said with a blush.

Amaterasu smiled before seeing the other goddesses and lost her smile instantly. "Kuso! You guys again! I'm the only true kami of the sun, not you two!"

"Bite your tongue child." glared Ra.

"No bite yours!"

"Go away." Hathor frowned.

"Yomi no! This human called me and I'm going to help him with his love life! So back off!" She growled while the tail stood on end.

"Um hey." Tyler said. "I have a question for you."

"Yes~?"

"Is it true you were once related to snakes?"

"..." she smiled falsely while her eyes suddenly turned into viper eyes. "Shut the fuck up about that. Ok~?"

"Yes ma'am." he squeaked out in fear.

Her eyes changed back. "Good, now it's time to get rid of some kami."

He gulped. "One moment! Can't we have breakfast before that?"

Brigid poked her head out. "Um….I can...help. Sorry, sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing, you did nothing wrong."

"I imposed myself on you…"

"Yeah, but it wasn't your fault."

She crawled out of the bed. "Um...ok. But my food might be….terrible."

"Hey! I'm cooking for him!" Amaterasu frowned.

"You can't even cook." Hathor smirked.

"Yes I can!"

"Even mom can cook, and she made every recipe in the world."

"I rule the universe so every recipe is mine!"

All three glared at the other while the human and goddess walked to the kitchen.

(Later on)

"Really, I can make something for us all."

"Yeah and you make a lioness that killed humanity." Amaterasu countered to Ra.

"If you weren't in the house of my human, I would smite you for your tongue."

"Same here, baka."

"Use actual language."

"It is actual language, unlike your 'high-oglaf-ic' nonsense."

"You cur!"

Hathor sighed while waiting for the food to be prepared. "By the way, who's using the sun right now without you two?"

"Apollo." both said in disgust.

"...the world is fucked." Hathor gulped. "Especially if he accidentally sleeps at the wheel again or worse...oh gods! Did you see any man or woman with him!?"

"..."

"..."

"AH! WE'RE DOOMED!"

"How?" sweatdropped Tyler.

"He will fuck the man or woman in question WHILE driving." Hathor gulped. "He did that once and well...let's just say that the explosion in russia might have made a few gods pissed." 'And started the Russian Revolution!'

"...ok." he said as Brigid brought out a large cauldron full of cooked porridge mixed with sheep and boar bladder.

"Ready….please don't hate it." She said sadly.

He looked at the food and felt nervous, but also happy since he never had someone cook something like this for him. He then took a spoon and tasted it. "..."

"Is it...bad?"

"No, it's delicious!"

Her eyes widened while Tyler had another bite. "It's...not bad?"

"It's perfect! What did you add?"

"Um...some cheese, a little onion and…" she blushed while making a heart sign with her hands. "M-Motherly….love….I'm sorry! I used to do this with my son and….I'm sorry!"

"You shouldn't, this stuff is amazing." He said with a smile. "Right girls?"

The other goddesses took a bite and also felt their taste buds melt away. "Yes."

Brigid felt flustered while covering her face. "I...I can't!" she hid under the table. "I'm not worthy!"

"Baka." Amaterasu muttered. "She needs to start acting like a proper kami, or at least a tsundere."

"Like you?" Hathor smirked.

"I'm not a tsundere!"

"True, you're actually a bakadere."

"Why you little-"

"Silence." Ra cut in.

"No! She needs to pay for that insult!" She glared. "Like losing her immortality and fighting a nine headed yokai! Look at my brother, he's reformed."

"And scared you might do worse to him." Hathor muttered to herself.

Tyler sat at the table while sitting next to Hathor. "Before we have breakfast, I want to ask you four something. What would you do IF I decided to choose one of you? And don't make fun of the other or I'm leaving and possibly calling someone else for help."

"You wouldn't get far." remarked Ra.

"Just answer the question." he deadpanned.

"If you chose me." Hathor smirked while moving her chest near his face. "I would bless you with lots of children, make every woman fall for you, AND make you the most handsome human on earth, on par with Cleopatra."

"...by every woman, could you be more clear?" he asked with intrigue.

"Simple, every woman, both young and old, fat or skinny, living or dead will love you unconditionally. Your harem will protect you and give you strong children to make a new dynasty of pharaohs. Heck, I will even make you irresistible to goddesses~"

Tyler let that sink in and seemed happy, but shuddered at the young, old, and dead parts.

"Well?"

"Um…." he pointed at Ra. "You would help me how?"

"Grant you kingship over all of creation, the ability to make all women fall for you without question, and to become ruler of your planet." She said monotonous. "If you choose me that is."

"But wouldn't that go against your own rule?"

"You would be possessed by me, solving the issue until your body is strong enough to do it on your own."

Tyler paled at the prospect of being possessed.

"If you chose me…" Brigid gulped. "I would….teach you to be kind to women….become a healer and warrior...and….help heal you."

"What do you mean by that last part?"

"...to heal your heart." she said while Tyler felt a little happy, but had to ask the big question.

"Will it make the girls like me?"

"...no. I'm sorry! Sniff!"

He flinched seeing her tear up.

Amaterasu laughed. "How foolish of a washed up kami. Human, if you choose me I will make the universe bow to your will, make every woman ever created fall for you, make them your servants, give them forms from your manga and anime dreams, and if you choose me to be your protagonist harem lead, I will isekai this entire planet into your fantasy realm."

"...and my role would be?"

"Maou-Oh, duh." She smirked as Tyler recalled the name as 'Devil King' aka the main villain of ANY anime or manga. "So, want to be my protagonist~?"

"But then won't there be some warrior trying to kill me?"

"Perhaps, but you can win with my powers."

"...can I think about this?" he asked nervously.

"NO! I want you and I want you NOW!" She frowned while her ears drooped to the sides. "Now hurry up and answer!"

"Um…"

"Answer." Ra frowned.

"Answer please." Hathor sighed.

"Answer...sorry." Brigid said sadly.

"Um….um...ah...hum…." He then snapped his fingers. "I choose all of the above."

"...what?" all four said at once.

"Yeah, I choose all of the above." he smiled. "Why have one goddess when having four can help me with my love life? Plus I always wanted a harem."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So are you up for it ladies?" 'Please don't obliterate me!'

"...hmmm…."

"Mmmmm…."

"Well…."

"...um…."

Tyler blinked while watching them conimple the situation they were in now. 'Wait, are they actually on board?' "Well?"

"We will do it." Ra said.

"Oh thank-"

"Only if you dominate us in the bed." Hathor smirked. "After all, some of us are horny, like the virgin fox."

"I'm not a virgin!" Amaterasu yelled in embarrassment.

Tyler blinked while rubbing his eyes. 'WHAT?!'

Brigid nodded. "Sorry...but I wish you had a better goddess then me….at love making…."

He slowly let that sink in while his face turned bright red. "You...you mean….you're serious?!"

"Yes." all four said at once.

"...all at once?"

"Yes."

"..." he got up and ran for it. 'I WILL NEVER SURVIVE THAT!'

"Hey! Get back here!" Amaterasu yelled while running after him along with Ra, Hathor, and Brigid.

(With Tyler)

He panted while hiding in the basement with a lot of barricaded furniture near the doors and windows. "I know I wanted love, and all their offers are great, but I'll die before I can get to any of those!"

BANG!

BANG!

"OPEN UP TEME!"

'I need to hide!' he thought before running into a closet as the door began to glow orange.

BOOM!

And exploded into flames and ash due to Amaterasu, Ra, and Hathor's abilities, although the last two were panting a little from losing energy.

"Boy! Come out!"

"And get that cock out and hard!" Hathor frowned while panting as Brigid looked around as a boar was under her legs.

"Snort!"

"Sniff him out...Torc Triath…" she said while the boar sniffed the room.

'SHIT! I forgot about the pig!' he thought as the boar sniffed the floor and followed the scent.

"Snort….REEEEEE!" it cried out while it glared at the closet door.

"There he is!" Amaterasu grinned while summoning a fireball from her hand. "Get out here and I will leave you with first degree burns baka baka!"

"Show yourself, or perish." spoke Ra.

"..."

"Come out and I will let you hug me." Hathor said while sounding motherly.

"..." He gulped. "Um...me no speak english?"

They deadpanned at him before the boar charged at the door.

"RRREEEEEEEEEE!"

"AAAAAAHHHHH! FUCK OFF BOAR!" He cried out while jumping onto the nearest coat hanger.

And cue the boar breaking the door down.

He jumped to the side and ducked under the boar before running towards a hidden passageway aka the sewer system and went into the hole.

Hathor gagged at this. "Mom, did he just…."

"Yes. Yes he did." Ra said with a monotone expression.

"Which means we have to jump in after him."

"I'm not going in there!" Amaterasu gagged while her ears and tail stood on end. "I might be made from my father's eye, but I'm not a baka! I rather get hit by a flayed pony then go in there!"

"Um…" Brigid got out. "Maybe we should get a fishing line? Or let….someone with better nature powers….fish him out?"

The three goddess looked at the nature deity with an evil smile.

"Eep!"

(With Tyler)

"Ok, if I go this way, I should be good." he muttered while getting covered in crap and unused toilet paper covered in rat blood. "Unfortunately I forgot how disgusting a sewer is."

SPLASH!

He blinked while hearing something falling right behind him. 'What was that?'

"So...gross….ew...so...ew…" Brigid gagged while currently in the water. "Ew…"

Tyler turned around and saw the goddess right behind him.

"Sorry...you must come back...sorry." She apologized while looking ready to puke.

"I can't do that." He said while crawling away.

"Please?"

"No."

She looked sad at that before a hoard of rats appeared next to her. "I'm sorry...rats...drag him home." 'So gross...but I deserve it.'

They all squeaked before they started to scurry after him.

Tyler paled while sprinting away quickly, only for the rats to grab his legs with their teeth and started dragging him away. "No! Get off me you rodents!"

"Squeak squeak."

"I don't wanna get sick!" He cried out in horror as Brigid got up and walked after him.

"Sorry."

(Back at the house)

Tyler was dragged into the bathroom as the rats let him go and ran out of the room, leaving him alone and locked in his own house, thanks to the goddesses enchanting the doors with magic that made everything as hot as the sun. "Gross."

That was when he realized that he was going to get fucked to death by horny deities if he got out of this room.

"Oh great, the one time I get to lose my virginity, and it'll be my last." He muttered to himself. "Why did it have to be literal goddesses?!"

That was when he started to think about his own bad luck and love life and well...weighed the possibilities of either having a harem of immortal goddesses or living a life as a lone guy that seems to be unable to be loved by any girl on earth.

"...ah screw it. If I die, chances are I'll run into another one on the other side. Besides, then I can say I banged a goddess." He said out loud before realizing that the four goddesses were in his bathtub, naked, and currently washing Brigid off with soap.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So you choose to pleasure us?" Ra asked while Amaterasu and Hathor eyed Tyler like a price of meat.

"Screw it, let's do it." He said before jumping into the tub.

(A year of fucking later)

It was a nice day at the mall as seveal guys and gals were talking at the food court, mostly about sex or how many dates they had, stuff like that.

"Like, he was cute, but he only dated me to fuck my sister. Like, how dumb am I right?" said a girl while talking to her mixed gender friends.

"Yeah, you should have seen what he wanted right off the bat."

"Yeah! I mean he was such a creep. Like that Tyler guy."

"Oh yeah, he really thought that we, his 'friends'." One guy said while making air quotes. "Would hook him up with a real girl. Ha, what a loser."

The teens laughed while not seeing said person right behind them, looking kinda happy and not at all ready to kick their asses into the concrete floor.

"Next time, I should make him date my other brother, am I right guys?"

"Yeah, that'd be a riot."

"I know."

Tyler chuckled before poking the guy's shoulder. "Morning Greg, how's being an asshole with the gay brother who's about to get punched in the throat?"

"O-Oh Ty. Um...I'm fine." he got out nervously as the teens stopped laughing.

"Good, because I'm in a good mood myself. I do have a date today."

"Wait….a date?"

"Yeah, a date."

"But you don't have a girlfriend, or are you really gay?"

He deadpanned. "I'm not gay."

The teens looked lost at this.

"What? I may LOOK like a girl, but I'm not gay. Especially the ones that are taking pictures of my ass." he glared at some of the guys and girls on the left side, who had their phones out, and were kinda sheepish at being caught red handed. "I'm waiting for my date to show up."

The lead guy frowned. "And who is this date?"

"Oh you'll find out, soon enough." He smirked while looking at his phone. "Oh and looks like she will be here soon, along with a few others. So." he took a seat. "Can I sit here or are you too busy making jokes at my expense to care?"

"Um...no?"

Tyler smirked while seeing his date walking behind the lead guy's back. "And there she is."

The lead guy looked confused at this before feeling someone's breath hitting his neck.

"Kon'nichiwa~" called out Amaterasu while wearing a heavy looking blue shirt with a tiny mini skirt and had her hair tied in several buns as she winked at the crowd. "Your favorite idol is here~!"

"AH!"

She jumped towards Tyler and gave him a hug. "Did you miss me dear~?"

"Did you enjoy the music store?"

"Yep~ It was great, and I even got an idea for my new album, Kami and the Oni~ How's that sound~?"

"Sounds like an instant hit."

She smiled as the teens looked on in shock, not seeing that Hathor was right next to Tyler's left side and was currently wearing a black shirt and pants as her chest was now a L cup chest, due to her normal 'morning offerings', and her head had a pink hat covering it.

"Tyler." Hathor coughed while holding a Wendy's bag. "You left your lunch at the restaurant, I thought I would bring it to you two before you get hungry."

"Thanks honey."

"You're welcome dear."

"Thanks cow oni~"

"Don't push it." Hathor glared at the goddess while the teens looked on in shock. "I have him tomorrow for a date so just savor it while it lasts."

"Yeah yeah, baka~"

"Girls, no fighting." Tyler said while patting their heads, calming them down.

"He is right." said Ra, who was now wearing a skin tight black dress with shades on her face, as she walked by with a bag in her hands. "You should not fight. And Tyler, you have forgotten your bag, again."

"Oh shoot. I knew I forgot something."

"Just make sure you don't forget. It has your wallet inside." She said with a monotone expression before looking at the lead teen. "I'm not interested in a human that cheats on five girls at once."

"You WHAT?!"

"Um…."

"He also has a baby with one of them." Ra said calmly. "A girl from what I heard from the grapevine."

"A kid too!?"

The teen gulped as his friends started to glare at him.

That was when Tyler saw Brigid running after him, wearing much to his delight a set of ripped jeans that reached to her hips, a single green bra with a red jacket over it, and had a belt made of boar's tusks on her sides, looking embarrassed and tired.

"Ah...Tyler…" she panted while giving him some chocolates. "Sorry...but I had a...wardrobe malfunction...here…" 'I'M SO EXPOSED! AAAAAHHHH!'

He patted her head while accepting the chocolates. "Thanks dear. You're the best."

And cue her covering her face in embarrassment. This also made the others gawk at her while blown away seeing all four of them.

Tyler saw this and smiled. "What? Never saw a guy with girls who are friends?"

"W...Who….Who are they?"

He smirked. "My girlfriends, duh."

"GIRLFRIENDS?!"

"Yep." He winked while the teens looked very shocked. "You may be cheaters and hacks, but I have girlfriends that care for me, unlike you lot. So if you excuse us, we have places to go and things to do."

"And beds to rock~" Amaterasu said with a grin as they left the table, leaving the now exposed cheater completely alone with his now pissed off 'friends'.

"Um...how's that for luck?" 'Oh shit...they're going to kill me!'

"Greg." They growled in anger.

'Crap!' He thought in fear as we see Ra looking at them from her right eye.

'Such foolish mortals, to think their misdeeds would stay hidden from my eye.'