List of oneshots part 4
chapter 35
What if Jaune and Salem were related?
Series: RWBY
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The day had finally come, it was the epic showdown of good vs evil, light vs dark, huntsmen vs grimm, the day Ozpin and his allies led a final attack on Salem… and they were getting their asses kicked.
"AHHH!" cried Weiss, flying through the air before Ruby jumped up and caught her, both of them falling back with a groan of pain.
"You alright?" asked the leader with a wince.
"Y-Yea-look out!" She cried as the scythe wielder turned around and quickly blocked an attack from Neo.
Said girl gave a teasing wink before back flipping away as Ruby tried to hack at her, but with the injuries she had it was too slow.
"Fall back to the bullheads, fall back!" Ironwood ordered, seeing that the attack was a lost cause at this point. He shot a Beowolf back while trying to run with only one arm. As everyone tried to escape Salem watched on from her throne, having never had to get up since the attack started.
"This is just sad and typical." she shook her head with a frown. "All of your planning, all of your allies and what has it gotten you Ozpin? Failure, defeat, and soon, death."
"Not yet Salem!" Ozpin yelled out, using Oscar's body while knocking Cinder back with a frown. "One early death is enough for me miss Fall."
"Then I'll have to draw this one out slow and painful." She said darkly as she knocked him down as Salem sighed.
"Ozpin... how long do you plan to keep up this charade? You know you can never defeat me."
"As long as I breathe, I will not falter." He huffed as he got up from a quick strike from Cinder with the boy's body looking bathered up. "Besides...I have a secret weapon."
Salem smirked with her arms crossed. "Oh really now? You have a 'secret weapon'? Ozpin, it's not a secret when we both know about the maidens and artifacts."
"Oh I know, and it's neither of those, bring it in girls!"
"But Ozpin, it's dangerous." Spoke up Blake holding her ribs.
"We have no choice, just do it!"
The girls looked at each other before Yang sighed and got up.
"Alright, you asked for this Salem."
"Please, I've survived everything you lower beings have thrown at me." She said as a brown coffin was wheeled forward. "It won't land a single scratch on me."
"Oh I know, but it will render you harmless." Ozpin smirked cockily before throwing open the lid, revealing a tied up and scared Jaune Arc.
"Where am I, why am I in a coffin, I thought we were attack-Salem?! What is going on?!"
"Sorry Mr Arc, but this had to be done." Spoke Ironwood. "We couldn't risk you dying."
"So you tied me up and put me in a coffin?!"
Salem raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Oh? You're going to do what you've always done and throw yet another student of yours in combat while you hide?" She chuckled as she shook her head. "You even immobilized him, is this some attempt at a quick and painless death for him?"
"No, he's special, for you see he is your great great great great great great great great grandchild!" Declared Ozpin with Jaune and Salem going wide eyed.
'Wait, WHAT?! I'm related to her?!' He thought in fear and confusion as Salem froze, looking stoic as she looked him over.
'He's my...descendant?' She thought before turning to Ozpin with a glare. "What sort of game do you think this is? That's impossible and you know why!"
"I thought so too before I saw him, and after a few tests I was able to prove it thanks to Ironwood, he is your descendant." Spoke Ozpin with a serious look. "You are free to run your own test to be sure."
"I will." She said as she reached out for him. 'If he is my ancestor then he would have to have a sliver of magic in him, just a small fragment.'
Jaune gulped seeing the hands move over and touch his forehead, making him shiver at how cold they felt before the tips began to slow black. 'Oh god, what is she doing, is that some kind of semblance?!' He thought before she pulled her hands away with a stunned expression, again.
"It's there...you really are of my blood..." She said as everyone stopped fighting.
"I am?"
"Yes, you ar...oh I never thought this day would come!" She cried out, uncharacteristically happy, surprising everyone but Ozpin.
"Uh..." Jaune found himself yanked out of the coffin and held in a tight grip by the witch who, shockingly enough, began to bounce around the room with a smile.
"I HAVE GREAT GREAT GRAND BABIES!" She squealed in happiness with the others, minus Ozpin, were slack jawed and were speechless.
'This...this is the queen of all Grimm?' Thought Weiss. 'She's acting like a grandma.'
'She's acting like she just got a new puppy, is this the right person?' Wondered Yang.
'Wow! Ozpin was right.' thought Ruby.
'If my ribs weren't bruised, I might give a snarky remark, ow.' Thought Blake.
"This is wonderful, we have so much lost time to make up for!" She declared happily.
"Uh, we do?" Replied Jaune with confusion.
"Yes! Oh I have so much I want to ask you about! Are you hungry, do you want a snack?" She asked curiously. "If so I can make Tyrian grab something, or Mercury since he needs to get off his rear and do more around here."
"Still in the room." Muttered the young adult with a frown. "Are we still supposed to kill everyone or…."
"T-That's really not ne-"
"So, are you dating, any women I need to meet, or do you already have adorable babies for me to spoil?" Salem cut him off with a straight face.
"N-No!" He blushed red.
"Really? What a shame, but I can fix that. CINDER! EMERALD! Get over here right now!" she yelled out at a high volume making the others cover their eyes before both girls came running over and looked on guard, cautiously eyeing Ozpin and the rest of the huntsmen.
"So, which one of them catches your fancy?" Salem asked, making him drop his jaw in disbelief. "Cinder is a strong woman, but I've been told men sometimes like more exotic girls, and I think Emerald would fit that bill, right?"
"Are...Are you serious? They helped invade the school and KILLED PYRRHA!"
"So? They are still fully capable of having children." She remarked nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not like they're ugly. They keep themselves together quite nicely given the environment."
"That's not the point!"
"Oh? So they are not good enough for you?" She asked curiously before looking worried. "Wait, you DO like girls, right?"
"What? Yes, of course I like girls!" He groaned. "That's not the point though!"
"Hmmm, then I might have to send out my Grimm in search of a girl that catches your fancy." She said as she rubbed her chin. "In the meantime don't be afraid to get to know them, they have wonderful personalities, and if they don't suit your fancy I think Cinder picked up a new pawn, Neo, was it?"
"Yes mistress." nodded Cinder with Neo herself tilting her head.
"Cinder... what is happening?" Emerald whispered in confusion.
"I have no idea, but the fact mistress is so chipper has me scared." Responded the fall maiden as she looked at her boss warily. "Just play along for now."
"Ok, hold on, HOLD ON! What is happening, are we still fighting?!" Tyrian shouted out in confusion.
"Quiet Tyrian." spoke Salem in a cold tone, making him tense up and quickly bow his head.
"Apologies my goddess!" He said quickly as Watts looked at him before clearing his throat.
"I never thought I'd say this my queen, but he is right, that man may be your descendent but we are still being attacked, do we dispose of everyone else?"
"No!" Jaune shouted quickly. "Don't touch them!"
"Ozpin, we need to pull out." Ironwood whispered.
"I know, I'm afraid we will have to leave Mr. Arc, if I'm right he'll keep Salem occupied for the rest of his life." He whispered back.
"Please, leave them alone." Spoke up Jaune with Salem frowning.
"Why should I? They'll just try and come back again, pointless as it is, even I've grown tired of this constant game, so it only makes sense to snuff them out now and get it over with."
"B-But… they're my friends, I can't just let you kill them!" he protested as she sighed and shook her head. 'She's not listening, what do I do?!' He thought as the horde of grimm began to approach team RWBY and his team. 'Think…. Ok, she thinks I'm her grandson or something, maybe I can use that?'
"Bring it on uglies!" Yelled Nora holding her hammer at the ready.
"Kill them a-"
"Stop! If you kill them I-I… I'll kill myself!" Jaune shouted, making Salem freeze.
"What?! You can't do that!" She shouted, starting to grow frantic. "I just got you back, you can't just die!"
"I will if you kill them!"
"B-But…. Fine, just capture them, except Ozpin and Ironwood, get rid of them."
"Gladly my queen." Spoke Watts shooting at Ironwood while Tyrian laughed as he ran at Yang.
"I'll be sure to bring you to the dungeons, without BOTH arms!"
"Tyrian, don't hurt them, they might be useful in the future." Salem said as the gears in her head began to turn. 'Maybe… if my great great grandson doesn't want to have children with Cinder that's a shame, but they could also be impregnated…. More grandbabies!'
"This won't end well." Muttered Ren as the screen went completely white, only to then show all of them chained up in several dark dungeon cells without weapons. "I knew it."
"At least we're alive, right?" Nora said nervously, trying to find a bright side. "I mean we didn't win, but we didn't lose either."
"Nora, we are in a dungeon, and Jaune is currently being held by a crazy immortal witch who thinks he's her grandson." Weiss said with a frown. "The only thing that could make this worse is if we were being ready for our execution."
"Considering who they are, I'm guessing they'd work on it and be ready come tomorrow if we're lucky."
"Yeah, I just hope Jaune is ok." Ruby said, with her having to wear a metal mask with no eye holes. "Who knows what sort of horrible stuff Salem's making him do."
(With Jaune)
"Come on, eat up, eat up." Salem said with a smile as she looked at Jaune, who was seated in front of a massive table piled with food, with Cinder, Emerald and Neo sitting next to him. "A growing young man needs all his nutrients."
"U-um…. Ok." He said as he slowly began to eat, feeling uneasy about everything. Not to mention glancing at the three girls with two of them looking ready to jump at him and cut his head right off. Meanwhile Neo was happily eating a large bowl of ice cream, without a care in the world.
"So, tell me everything, how have you been, how are your parents, do you have any siblings?"
Jaune gulped down his bite and saw Salem smiling while looking eager, making him steel himself. "Uh, you mean before or after I wound up fighting against your lackeys?"
"Watch it Arc." Spoke Emerald with a glare.
"Cinder. I know your minion didn't just glare at my grandson, right?" Salem asked coldly.
"No mistress." Cinder glared at Emerald making the girl quickly shut up.
"That's what I thought. Go ahead and tell grandma what you were saying."
"Um….well, I was training to be a huntsman before my school was attacked, my mom and dad are good and…" He started before quickly realizing that if he told her about his siblings she'd possibly kidnap them and bring them there. "...I don't have any siblings, just an only child."
"Hmmm, a pity." Salem sighed sadly before perking up. "However, that does remind me, what do you think of these three wonderful women?"
"They're a pain in the butt." He muttered with them frowning, with Salem pouting. "All of them played a part in all the stuff that's been going on, especially her." He glared at Cinder.
"Well, that's all in the past, they didn't know any better about who you were, now you can all apologize and we can move on with our lives and start doing something productive."
"Like what?"
"Rebuilding my family tree of course, I would love to have some new grandbabies running around the tower." She sighed happily, making all four people at the table pale. "All this time I thought my blood line had been nonexistent, not since….Ozpin went against me and ruined it all." She sighed as she looked down in shame before perking up again. "But now that will all change! You're here, you have these three lovely ladies who would be happy to marry you and make me some new grandbabies, right Cinder?"
"M-Marry?" She said, trying to cope with what was happening. 'Decades spent training, plotting, scheming, all undone by this blonde idiot being related to Salem…'
"She's a very nice young woman, and she has incredible birthing hips, right Cinder?"
Cinder just looked at her in disbelief with a blush while muttering something that neither could hear.
"I'm sure when you two get married you will give me some wonderful grandbabies." She said before glancing at Emerald. "Or if you are into more exotic girls I'm sure young Emerald here would fit the build, and I have to admit I am curious to see what your children would look like."
"Uh, I don't think they'd really look all that good." Emerald remarked.
"Well there's only one way to find out. And then there's Neo, I'm sure she'd be happy to marry you and live a life of luxury here in the tower with you, right dear?"
Neo blinked before looking up in thought before giving a shrug.
"Of course, if you somehow don't find these three amazing women up to par, we have backup options in the dungeon." Salem said with a frown. "I'm sure those girls Ozpin got tangled up in all this are quite close if you were so firm in having them live."
"Well, yeah, bu-"
"Then you wouldn't be opposed to making some grandchildren for me with them, right?"
"Just hold up!" He spoke up. "They're my friends, and sure I've known them for a while, but I doubt they'd wanna do THAT with me!"
"Then they don't have a use." She frowned. "I will say this, I want grandchildren by the end of the year, and come hell or high water I will have some one way or another."
"Ever considered just adopting some orphans?"
"I want a family, orphans are for minions, that is how I got Cinder here." She remarked with said woman silent. "Besides, grandchildren by blood feel true and honest."
"I….but…." Jaune started, trying to find some excuse.
"Now then, I'll leave you with the girls here, I have an errand to run in the dungeon." She said as she got up. "You three don't cause any issues while I'm gone."
"Yes my queen." Cinder and Emerald said with a small bow as Jaune gulped nervously.
'Please don't leave me here with them!' He thought before watching Salem make her way out of the room. "So….uh…"
"If you ask me to have sex with you I will stab you." Emerald whispered.
"No no no! I wasn't!" He blushed, shaking his head before looking away. "That's the last thing I'd ever want."
"So we're not good enough for you?" Cinder asked with a frown.
"After all the pain and destruction you've done? No, not at all." He remarked sarcastically with a glare. "Or has turning one of my closest friends into nothing but ash slip your mind already?"
"That was business, plain and simple, it was her fault for taking what was rightfully mine." Cinder barked back with a frown.
"Is that what you say for every person you hurt? I'll bet you say that after every person you kill just so you can sleep at night."
"Yes, I do, and most likely I will have to be saying after we're forcibly married and I have to have you impregnate me." She growled with disgust. "If you weren't related to mistress Salem you wouldn't even be breathing right now."
"Well she's not, and I'm ready to avenge Pyrrha right here and now." he frowned standing up.
Cinder frowned as she glared at him as we cut to Salem entering the dungeon, making her way to her new prisoners.
"Hmmm, now which one could work?" She pondered rubbing her chin. "I do have to say I do have a preference for blondes, and I would love grandchildren with the same hair I used to have." She mused as she made her way down the corridor.
"Hello Salem, come to torture me?" Ozpin called from one of the cells before she walked past him.
"No, I'm saving that for later." She said dismissively. "Right now I'm…. let's just say I'm window shopping."
He watched her while Salem stopped at Yang's cell and looked at the girl who glared.
"What do you want?" She growled. "Come to mock us, describe how we're going to die here painfully?"
"No, just getting a close up look. You seem to have natural beauty, which is already a plus. Mortals today seem more likely to rely on make up just to stand out, and that's already a negative trait in my book." She said as she rubbed her chin. "I think you could successfully give me many grandchildren, you certainly have the hips for it."
"What?!" Yang went wide eyed while trying to yank on the chains. "Forget it! I'm not gonna pop out kids just 'cause you said so you nutbag!"
"I think you will, why else would I be keeping you alive?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"If you are keeping everyone here except me in hopes they will give you grandkids you certainly have started off on the wrong foot." Ren said as he shook his head.
"Why is that?" Salem raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to go off on some monologue about how they're all YOUR women? I've dealt with men like that in the past, and it gets boring after the seventh time."
"No, what I mean is that if you want grandchildren who love you then you are doing it wrong, if by some crazy means Jaune and the girls agree to have kids do you think the children will love you when you keep their mother and friends locked up in a dungeon?" Ren said as Salem paused. 'I know this isn't helping Nora, but if there is a chance I can get you out of this dungeon I'll take it.'
"Hmmm, well I'm a bit rusty, but a little bit of 'convincing' would make these girls agree to keep quiet." Smirked Salem darkly.
"And what about the grandchildren and Jaune, what happens when they ask him where their mothers are and he tells them you locked them away in a cold dungeon? And if you want Jaune to love you a good step would be to get us out of this dungeon." He said, trying to convince her. "You have this whole tower to yourself, surely there's some more comfortable rooms you could put locks on, right?"
"Perhaps, but I think you'll be fine in the dungeons for now." She turned to look at Blake who narrowed her eyes. "Now a Faunus could be interesting. I've never given it thought on what that could lead to, but with Jaune's blood, you two could make quite the child." She said as she stroked her chin and smiled. "It would be wonderful to have a cluster of grandchildren with cat ears running around the tower."
"Never." spat Blake. "Don't know if you knew this, but I'm spoken for already."
"Yes, you have been taken, taken prisoner, were the chains not enough of an indicator?"
"She means she's not into dudes!" Yang yelled out in annoyance.
"So? Worse comes to worse I suppose I could have you artificially inseminated, but I would prefer it be done the old fashion way." Salem moved on to Weiss with the heiress glaring.
"Not even if you tortured me."
"You do realize this is the only reason you aren't being tortured right now?" Salem asked with a raised eyebrow. "Hmmm, I do like the white hair, I would like grandchildren who I currently had something in common with."
"Oh yes, because hair color would be plenty." Remarked Weiss sarcastically.
"It's a start." She said as she moved on and spotted Nora. "Orange hair, I haven't seen that in many, many years, hmmmm…"
"Go ahead and try it, you'll find out how quick I can BREAK your kneecaps!"
"Really now, I truly don't understand WHY you are all so against this, in my day women would throw themselves at men with royal blood to bear their child, or have you all forgotten the one reason I haven't thrown you to the grimm?"
"Having us get set up to have kids with one of our friends isn't something that's easy to deal with as you might think."
"Besides, as soon as you get what you want, you'll get rid of us."
"Perhaps, though that all depends, if you were to marry my grandson I would keep you around, and give you a proper room." She remarked before moving towards Ruby. "As for the Silver Eyes? I might pass on you, otherwise I'd have to worry about my descendants fighting me with them."
"And she's WAY too young to even think about that." muttered Yang.
"Seriously Yang? I'm not a kid anymore!" She protested.
"Anyway, I will be back later, consider your options, and if you are more willing to cooperate you will find yourself in better accommodations." Salem turned and made her way out while going over the pros of the girls from what she saw. 'They're not bad, though I would prefer Jaune marry one of my loyal servants, at least then I wouldn't have to worry about his wife turning him or my grand babies against me.'
(Timeskip)
"Jaune? Where are you?" Salem called as she held a large stack of puzzles and board games. "Are you free right now or are you finally giving me grandchildren?"
All she got was silence.
"Hmmm, it's quiet… too quiet." She said as she narrowed her eyes. "Oh he better not be down there again!" she put the items to the side before marching down the hall. "This is ridiculous, it's been six months and yet nothing, what is he doing down there?!"
She made her way down to the dungeons where the sounds of grunts was heard. 'Grunts? Is he…. Yes, finally! Oh I wonder who it is?! No, calm down Salem, you shouldn't interrupt…. But maybe just one peak?'
With that she slowed down her steps while keeping her ear out. She listened eagerly as she heard the grunts get louder and louder, but paused as she only heard one person grunting. 'Wait, what's that? That's not right.' She thought as she paused. 'What is going on?'
"Come on….almost there…."
'Ok, that sounds familiar, but…. Am I just paranoid?' She thought as she reached the corner and began to take a peak. She frowned when she saw Jaune, fully clothed, and trying to break one of the doors open with a crowbar.
"Almost there….it's coming undone…"
"JAUNE ARC!" Salem shouted, stepping out with a frown.
"Gah!' He jumped, dropping the blunt instrument as Salem walked over with a cold expression. "S-Salem! What a pleasant surp-"
"Don't you Salem me Mr, and how many times do I have to tell you to call me grandma?!"
"Oh, right, sorry grandma."
"Now then, do you care to explain to me just what you were doing down here?"
"I was just….um…"
"Testing out the door locks to make sure they weren't falling apart." Ren interjected.
"No, what it seems like is that you were trying to free your friends! Unless you were doing it to give me a grandchild, which you could have asked me to unlock the door for, this was an escape attempt!" Salem walked over before grabbing Jaune by the ear and started dragging him out. "I'll have to punish you again since you won't learn from your past mistakes."
"Ow ow ow ow ow!" he cried as she dragged him away, fuming.
"I know I shouldn't say this, but that never stops being funny." Chuckled Nora.
"Yeah, I know, but I'm just worried one day she'll stop 'punishing' him and turn her wrath on us." Blake said with a frown.
"I swear being cooped up here is really starting to get to me." Sighed Qrow. "Especially without a quick drink of booze."
"It could be worse, you could be torn to shreds by the Grimm." Ozpin said with a sigh. "Or dunked in one of the grimm lakes and be turned into Salem's new boyfriend."
"Maybe if you tried putting the moves on her she'd let us go and keep you instead."
"I doubt it." he said as we cut back to Jaune and Salem.
Said witch brought Jaune to the room he was staying in and pointed to a corner.
"Go and sit in your corner and think about what you've done."
"Fine, fine, whatever." he sighed as he went over the corner.
"Good, now stay there and think about what you did wrong. Then in an hour I'll send over Cinder so you two lovebirds can have some alone time."
"Grandma, I really don't think-"
"Ah ah, no talking while in the corner." She said as Jaune sighed.
'This is getting ridiculous, she's been like this for six months, when is she going to give me a chance to escape?' Thought Jaune as he propped his head with his hand. 'I figured she would have done something drastic sooner, but now it's just getting ridiculous.' He thought as he shook his head. 'Maybe it's better she's stuck in this dreamland of hers, or else she would have done something more severe than put me in a corner.'
Back with Salem, she had gone ahead to grab a bottle of her private wine to get some down her while Watts was trying to speak to her.
"So, if our calculations are right we should be able to overwhelm Vacuo with Grimm in a matter of months, what do you think my highness?"
"I think things are dragging on." She grumbled while filling up a glass before taking a long sip with a sigh.
"Well, I could try to destabilize the Vacuoan government, that should make the plan go a lot faster."
"Not with the plan you fool, I meant with Jaune."
"Jaune? Why, what's going on?"
"Nothing, and that's the problem!" She snapped. "Six months, six months and he has yet to knock up a SINGLE girl here! None of those friends of his in the dungeon, or Cinder and the other two. I would think a young man like him would be all for impregnating all of them given he has free reign, but instead he just wants to 'free' the others along with Ozpin."
"I see…. Might I ask how you tried to get him to…. Do it with the girls before?" Watts asked, feeling out of his depth.
"I tried giving him and Cinder alone time with some massage oil, figuring it could help get the ball rolling, and when I come back all I see is him using it to lotion up his hands while both are still clothed."
"I see… and all this time you've just been kindly asking him, right, or gently nudging him to what you want?" Watts asked, beginning to get an idea.
"I've made my wishes loud and clear. To have grandbabies by the end of the year, and it's already halfway there." She sighed as she shook her head. "These six months have been the best I've had in millennia, but I still want grandbabies!"
"Hmmm, maybe it's time to change tactics, perhaps get a bit more forceful…. What if you implement some incentive?"
"Incentive?"
"Yes, YOU want grandchildren, but what has Jaune shown to have wanted his entire stay here?"
"He keeps trying to visit with his friends in the dungeon and free them."
"Well, perhaps if you make a deal with him that can work out both ways, he'll be more compliant." He said as she stroked her chin. "Maybe make him an offer, everytime he produces a grandbaby with one of the women in the dungeon their level of comfort will increase and they'll be given more freedoms, for example if he has two grandchildren with the blonde one she'll be moved out of the dungeon and given better food, and so on." He said as she began to nod. "Of course it couldn't hurt to bend a few wills here and there, make the rest see what might become of them if they don't fall in line."
"Yes… you're right, I am the queen of the Grimmlands, I could conquer this world if I wanted too and it's time I made that clear." She said with a nod as Watts grinned.
'And now to get back at Cinder and her minions, they've been a pain in my side for far too long, time to throw them under the bus.' He thought as he cleared his throat. "Yes, and I would recommend you doing that with Cinder and the other two women as well, if I recall correctly they aren't imprisoned, have access to Jaune 24/7, and yet they haven't gotten pregnant either? They do know that is what you want, right?"
"Yes, which means they've been slacking." Frowned Salem while finishing her glass. "And I do NOT tolerate slackers."
"Agreed." He said with a smirk as he saw her begin to plot. 'Cinder, I think you just got promoted from our mistresses right hand woman to her grandson's baby momma.'
"Go and have Tyrian get them together while I go down to speak with his friends." She said as she stood up, a glint in her eyes. "It's time I made it clear what I expect from them while they live in my home."
"Right away my queen." He said as he hurried off, trying not to show his amusement.
"Now then, time to make my demands." Salem said as she stalked off to the dungeon.
In said dungeon, Oscar was in control and trying to help figure out a plan while Ironwood and Qrow were so bored they were playing twenty questions.
"Is it… wet?"
"Yes."
"Is it damp?"
"Yes."
"Is it the dungeon?"
"Yup." He said before the door was kicked open. "Is it Jaune or someone else?"
"My money's on Salem."
"It is I, Salem." The woman called as she entered the dungeon and looked around, frowning. "And my patience has run out."
"So has ours." spoke up Ruby with a frown. "You can't keep trying to make Jaune give you grandkids like this. He's our friend, not some...thing for you to use."
"I am not using my grandson! I simply want him to be happy and have a large family!" She snapped before composing herself. "Anywho, it has come to my attention you have all failed at a simple request I had, and now it is time to make that request a demand."
"Or what, you're going to take away Jaune's daily cookie and milk?" Qrow snickered.
"Watch it Qrow, or I might start plucking something other than your feathers." Salem said with a frown. "Actually, if you keep it up I might just make an example out of you, I certainly can't get any grandchildren out of you after all."
"Just tell us what you're up to now." spoke Ironwood with a glare.
"Simple, if everyone here isn't pregnant in six months you all will be punished, and by punished I mean anyone who can't give me a grandchild will be fed to the grimm." She said calmly as everyone paled. "However, I can also be generous, if you do get pregnant you will be moved out of the dungeon and you will receive a better room, better food, and if you continuously give me grandchildren you will earn more and more freedoms."
"That's insane!" Yelled Weiss. "If you're so desperate to make a bigger family, why don't you just go do it yourself?"
"I can't! You can thank Ozpin for that a few millennia ago. He decided he didn't want to risk me 'creating an army of evil', so he and a group snuck into my tower and….and….well, they made it so I can't have any more children." She revealed with a glare at Oscar, the rest of the group caught off guard with the farm boy holding up his hands.
"He's not in control right now! It's Oscar!" He clarified nervously.
"I don't care, I'd given up on having a family ages ago, but suddenly Jaune appeared, and he made the impossible possible! That's why I NEED him to have children, I will not risk my family dying out, not again!" Yelled Salem with the air suddenly going cold for all of them as she closed her eyes and opened them back up. "So, what will it be?"
"I, uh…" Blake said, unsure what to do.
"Just know that I didn't have to keep you all alive here, I have three woman in my employment who could give me grandchildren, you're only here because Jaune asked me to keep you alive, so do the wise thing, and make yourselves valuable." She said before turning to leave. "I'll give you an hour to think it over."
As the door closed behind her the girls looked at each other nervously, unsure what to do.
"Guys? Any ideas?"
"Is… is there any other option? We have to either agree with her demands or…. We die."
"I can't let Ren die, I can't!" Spoke up Nora shaking her head.
"We can't let uncle Qrow die either!" Ruby cried out.
"Damn it…. I guess it was only a matter of time, it's a wonder she waited six months at all." spoke Blake looking down at the floor. "I kept thinking it'd end with us going down in the middle of battle."
"I'm truly sorry it had to come to this." Oscar said, stiffening up as Ozpin took control. "It seems our luck was bound to run out sooner than later."
"So… that's it? This is how it ends?" Weiss said as we cut back to Watts who opened the door to Cinder's room with a smug grin.
"Oh Cinder, I come bearing important news from her majesty."
"This better be good." She growled as she looked up from a book, Emerald, and Neo lazily watching the news.
"Yes, she has told me that you are to meet in front of her, Emerald, and Neo as well, she is quite disappointed with the progress of your most recent mission." he shook his head with a sad expression. "The one involving her dear beloved grandson, and not having grandbabies to spoil."
"Wait, what?!" She said as she sat up, Emerald and Neo freezing.
"Yes, she is quite upset that in the six months you've been not a single one of you are pregnant." He shook his head with his hands behind his back. "Honestly I fail to see how you can't follow a simple order from her majesty, especially given your 'supposed' loyalty to her for so many years."
"What?! You can not be blaming this on me!"
"I'm not. Our Queen is." He said with a smirk. "She wants to meet you in the throne room immediately."
Emerald and Neo felt a cold chill go down their spines with Cinder glaring at Watts with her one good eye glowing in warning.
"I'd hurry, and do try not to make yourself look like a fool." He turned and walked out while giving a triumph laugh in his head.
(Later)
"Um, Grandma? What is this about?" Jaune asked as he walked into the throne room. He looked around in confusion before blinking in surprise as he saw Cinder, Emerald and Neo on one side of the room and the girls from the dungeon on the other.
"It's quite simple Jaune, they're here because my patience has come to an end." Salem said with a frown from her throne. "Six months. Six months I have waited patiently, but enough is enough."
'Oh no.' "Wait, I thought you said-"
"I've changed my mind!" She snapped. "I am tired of waiting Jaune, I am TIRED! You had six months, six months to impregnate at least someone! All I want is grandbabies and for you to have a large, happy family, is that too much to ask?"
"...a little." He said as he rubbed the back of his head. "Couldn't we find some other solution?"
"I do have one, get these women pregnant." She said as she crossed her arms.
"Come on, isn't there anything else? I don't want to force them into something like that!"
"Well I didn't wanna be forced into losing my chance at having more kids of my own, guess how that turned out." She said as she crossed her arms. "If you want to blame anyone for this situation, blame Ozpin, if he hadn't meddled in things that weren't his business you wouldn't be forced into this situation. Now then, there will be changes. For one thing until I am confident you have impregnated everyone here, they will all be sleeping in your room."
"I….but…..NO!" He said as he shook his head. "Look, this is insane! I just learned I was related to you a bit ago, and I'm just barely starting to get used to that, but now you want me to suddenly become a father?! No!"
"Jaune dear, being a father, especially for someone your age is a big life lesson that I know you could handle without any problems." Salem said as he shook his head.
"No, you're wrong, being a dad isn't that easy! And if I have kids I want to be in a good relationship with someone before I get to that point!" He frowned. "Being pressured into doing it is just gonna make things awkward and stressful!"
"Bu-"
"And you keep talking about wanting a bigger family, wouldn't you rather it happens more naturally, with me being happily married to someone I love rather than just pumping out babies?" he asked. "How is it a happy family if the ones involved are used as nothing more than cattle?"
"I….well…" Salem, said, pausing as she considered the idea.
"Besides, if I do marry someone for love and not for what seems like purely breeding like you want, they would become part of your family, right?"
"Well, I suppose that IS true…." She said as the girls glanced at Jaune, starting to feel relieved. "So… you want to marry and be in love with someone before you give me grandchildren?"
"Well, yeah." He said as the gears began to turn in her head as she grinned. "That's what I'd prefer at least, and I think everyone else here would too."
"I see… then I have a new idea."
'Wait, did Jaune just get us out of this?' wondered team RWBY.
'Did the blonde idiot get me out of marrying him?'
"I suggest we go about this in a new way Jaune, girls." Salem said as she began to grin. "I'll give you…. Five minutes, and then there will be somewhat of a game of hide and seek. If I spot you in the tower and Jaune is nearby I will have the grimm hunt you down and drag you to the chapel for a nice wedding."
"Wedding?!"
"Yes, you said you didn't want to make me grandchildren with someone you didn't love and wasn't married too, so I think this is a nice middleground." She said with a nod. "Besides, it's been eons since I've attended a wedding."
'She missed the whole point!' Everyone thought with a groan.
"And… I'll give you two years after you're married to have a child, is that better?" Salem asked with a smile. "Oh, and no one can leave the tower, including you Cinder."
"How does that make anything better?!"
"Well I do believe this way you will have more time to fall in love, and once you're married having kids is a sensible next step, right?" She said with a raised eyebrow. "I'll get the hourglass ready, remember, you have five minutes."
"Bu-"
"Or if you'd rather I could go with my original plan, or Tyrian's idea of dosing your food with aphrodisiacs."
That made them blush with Salem walking away.
"So….um….. I guess we better go hide?" Yang said as she looked at Jaune nervously.
"Every girl for themselves!" Nora called as she took off, the rest quickly following her lead.
'I hope they find some good places to hide.' Thought Jaune with a gulp. 'Things just got a whole lot crazy.'
(Timeskip)
"Jaune, are you in there?" Salem called with a smile as she knocked on a large door. "I was hoping I could see the kids today."
"Hang on a second." He called with a yawn as sat up on the bed. "Kids, grandmas here."
"Yay!"
"Oh thank god, we can finally get some sleep now.' Groaned the figure next to Jaune. "I thought I was gonna have to yank my hair out."
Salem smiled as the door opened and an avalanche of kids rushed out towards her.
"Grandma!" They cheered as she kneeled down to hug as many as she could.
"Hey sweeties, who wants to have a fun day with grandma?"
"We do!" They called as Jaune stumbled over to close the door.
"Remember kids, play nice." He called as he closed the door before turning back to his 'wives'.
"So, we're all alone… who wants to sleep?"
"Us." Groaned the other girls, all of them naked and looking exhausted.
"Thank god." he said with a sigh as he glanced up. "Salems gone now if you want to come out of the vents and sleep on a real bed."
The vent hatch shook before falling down, followed by Blake who sighed and stretched out her arms with a pop.
"Thank god, those vents are so stiff." She groaned. "Any chance Salem has given up on finding me yet?"
"Something tells me no. She was talking about having a crib set up with a scratching post installed." Jaune apologized as she groaned. "The extra bed is in the closet, you should be safe in case she comes back."
"Thanks, I think my back is out of place." She groaned as she staggered away.
'Well, this isn't too bad, I think I'm starting to get used to this.' Jaune thought as he turned back to his wives. "Ready to pass out for the next day?"
"Yes!"