List of oneshots part 4
chapter 36
What if Blitzo and the others wound up different ages due to someone wanting revenge?
Series: Helluva Boss
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"They'll pay, they'll all pay for killing me, for ruining my life's work!" Rambled a person who was in a dimly lit room with junk everywhere and currently cloaked in shadows. "I'm going to make sure they all suffer slow and agonizing deaths! Thanks to my latest creation." They laughed as they raised what looked like a pressure cooker with several tubes attached to it and a glowing orange vial as it shook ominously. "Yes, they will pay, all of them will pa-"
RING RING RING
"Huh? Oh what is it?" they groaned before walking over to the phone and picked it up. "Yes, who is it? I'm busy right now."
"Hey fuck face, we're back, your old coworkers are dead, now do you have the money to pay us?" Blitzo's voice called out.
"Really? You called about that? You already know I have the money, or else WHY would I bother to hire you lot?"
"Great! Then you can hurry up and give it to us, right now." Blitzo responded before ending the call.
"Ugh, uncultured swine, at least they're useful…" They grumbled before looking back at the device with a grin. "Now that part one is done, I can use this on them and finish part two, and then my revenge will be complete! Hahahahahaha!"
(Later)
"Alright, those assholes are dead, the client will be here to pay us any second, and Moxxie hasn't fucked anything up yet, so far so good." Blitzo said with a grin.
"Yes sir, you've said that five times now." Deadpanned Moxxie who was sipping from his mug. "And it's not getting old anytime soon." he drawled with sarcasm.
"Both of you just shut up." Loona groaned as she looked at her phone. "I'm busy right now."
"You've been staring at your phone for the past hour." remarked Millie.
"Yeah, and I'm not done yet." She said as she flipped the imp off.
"So…. when is the client coming agai-" Moxxie started only for the front door to get kicked in.
"Ah, there's the man of the hour." Remarked Blitzo with a grin as another imp walked in with a pair of dorky looking glasses, a black lab coat, and horns that looked tiny as he walked in with a briefcase and something under his other arm. "So, finally get enough time away from jerking it to get us our money?"
"Oh I have that and more, much, much more." Chuckled the imp creepily. He walked over and set the case down in front of Blitzo. "It's all there."
"Great!" Blitzo said as he quickly opened the briefcase and looked inside eagerly. He lost his smile though when he didn't see cash, but just a note. "The fuck is this?" He said as he grabbed the note.
"Go ahead and give it a look see."
"It better say you're paying us or else." Blitzo growled as he began to read the note. "Dear asshole, today is the last day you breathe and smile as I am going to make you pay."
"Yes, yes! You don't remember me, do you? Well once upon a time I was a brilliant scientist until you gunned me down for killing one of my lab assistants!"
"All I'm seeing is that we're not getting paid." Blitzo said as he pulled out a pistol.
"Yes, and you won't be living either!" He laughed pulling out his device. "My latest device will make sure you all suffer, suffer like I did! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a knife shoved through your eye socket? It's not pleasant you bastard!"
"You done?" Blitzo said before shooting the imp in the arm, making him drop his device. "A word of advise for wherever the fuck you end up after we kill you, if you're gonna murder someone just do it, don't monologue."
"Ow! You son of a bitch!" Cursed the imp holding the wound as the device bounced and made a sound as he scowled at Blitzo. "You mother-"
"Yeah, I've been called way worse dumbass. For a scientist you sure are retarded when it comes to name calling." Blitzo said with a grin as he shot the imp in the other arm. "Any last words before you bleed out?"
"Ow! Oh Jesus Christ that hurts!" He cried as he tried to crawl to the door, the device he dropped beginning to shake as the gages on it began to fluctuate wildly.
"Sorry, he's not here." Spoke Blitzo while casually walking over and sat down on the imp's back, stopping him as he clawed at the floor. "Care to leave a message?"
"Oh god, the pain!" He cried out before he began to hear a hissing. "W-Wait, my invention!"
"Eh don't worry about your fuck toy, I'm sure we'll get a few bucks off it from the scrap yard, but we'll clean it first, or maybe Moxxie could get some use out of it."
"Uh, sir? Something's happening." Spoke up said imp looking at the device as it began to glow.
"What, what is i-"
CLICK~
Everyone froze as the machine dinged, like a microwave when it finished cooking before the lid flew off and a bright light covered the entire office. All of them could barely cry out as it blinded them, each feeling a tingle go through their bodies before it all slowly went quiet.
"Well, that was uneventful." Millie said before blinking. "Wait, somethings different."
"Yeah, I feel weird." spoke Moxxie, his voice sounding off.
"Uuuuugh, why do I feel so tired?" Blitzo groaned, feeling worn out and weaker suddenly.
The only response that came from Loona was a small growl as the light began to slowly fade away, everyone seeing spots as Moxxie rubbed his eyes.
"What was that?" He asked before blinking his eyes, before they widened and his mouth dropped open, unable to say anything.
"Moxxie, is e- WHY ARE YOU SO SMALL?!" Millie cried out as she turned to her husband only to gasp in shock at what she saw.
"Why are you so big?!" He cried out, showing that his body had shrunk down in size, clothes too big now while his voice was much more high pitched, tail and horns having shrunk down as well.
"What do you mean?" Millie asked before realizing her clothes felt too tight as she looked down to see she'd grown an inch, and surprisingly her rear, breasts, horns and tail had also grown longer, with her hair all the way down to her feet. Her eyes widened and let out a gasp, Blitzo himself letting out a wolf whistle.
"Damn! You could pass as a stripper!" He let out before coughing into his hand and having to lean against his desk as he rubbed his eyes and noticed things were blurry with him having to sit down with the two turning and gasping. "What?"
"Sir? You...You're….You're…."
"Spit it out!"
"Old, like really, really old!" Moxxie cried as he looked at his boss who seemed to have shrunk a few inches along with his horns looking old and worn, with his red and black skin looking duller, and he was covered in wrinkles with a white beard growing from his chin.
"Old? What in the world are you on about? You look like you're ready to shit yourself."He huffed before Millie grabbed a small mirror and held it up to him. "Ha! Look at that old geezer, boy does he...look….like….me…."
"That's because he is you sir." He said with a frown. "Wait… where's the client you were sitting on, where did he go?"
Blitzo looked around, only to notice a pile of ashes lying on the floor making him frown. "Damn bitch went out like one."
"Wait, if all of us are like this, then what about Loona?" Questioned Millie with wide eyes.
They all turned to where their secretary had once been sitting, only to see a pile of clothes where she once was and a small puppy's face poking out of the top.
"Oh my Satan!" Cried out Moxxie in horror. "We've all changed ages!"
"No shit." Deadpanned Blitzo before coughing and rubbing his chest. "That bastard and his toy must have done this."
"You mean the one that's broken?" Millie called with concern as she looked over at the smoking machine. "So…. what now?"
"Ok, let's be calm, let's try not to freak out." Spoke Moxxie who was about to start pacing before tripping over his clothes and fell on his face. "OW!"
"Moxxie!" Millie cried as she raced over. "Are you ok?"
"Y-yeah, it's just, big clothes, tiny body…" he said sheepishly.
"And tiny dick." Joked Blitzo as Loona herself looked around and sniffed the clothes before crawling out from her old clothes and looked around the office curiously. "Aww, Loona's as precious as she was as the day I adopted her. Come here Loona, come to Blitzo."
The hellhound pup just looked at the old man with his arms out before looking around and spotting Millie. She let out a small arf before making her way to her.
"No Loona, I'm over here." Blitzo called as Loona just kept walking away. "Loona? Get over here sweetie!"
"I don't think she recognizes you sir." Spoke Millie looking down at the pup who sniffed her. "I mean, she is just a baby now."
"You mean...my sweet little Loona doesn't remember me?" spoke Blitzo in shock with Moxxie rolling his eyes.
"He says sweet, I say headache inducing."
"Hey! My Loona was an angel!" he argued as Loona panted happily and hugged Millie's leg. Seeing it was enough to make Blitzo near tears with Millie surprised.
"Arf arf!" She panted happily, nuzzling against the imp.
"Noooo! Looooona, why have you betrayed me?!" Cried out Blitzo dramatically before his phone started to ring. "What?!" he shouted as he answered it.
"Hello my big dick Imp~" Purred Stolas making Blitzo groan and rub his forehead.
"What do you want you perverted owl?"
"You, and also my book, it's that time of the month Blitzy~"
"Oh fuck me." Groaned Blitzo while Stolas chuckled. "Look, now is NOT a good time."
"I don't care, I NEED you Blitzy~" Stolas cooed. "Meet me in an hour or I will come to you~" He said before the line went dead.
"Fuck!" he cursed, tossing the phone away while Millie tried holding Loona in one arm and Moxxie with the other.
"Let me guess, a booty call?" asked Moxxie.
"Yes, just...fuck!"
"Well if he's coming here then I'm taking these two and leaving." Millie said with a frown. "They need new clothes anyway, and so do I."
"Oh come on! You can't leave me alone to deal with him! I'm practically helpless!" Cried out Blitzo standing up before a crack was heard making him hold his back. "FUCK! My back!"
"Well sorry, but these two need me more, and I doubt Stolas will do his usual thing with you as you currently are, I'll be back tomorrow." She turned and walked out, a small rip heard. "Shoot, I better hurry before I end up in my birthday suit."
"...Crap." Blitzo cursed as he realized he was alone. "Now what do I do when the horny owl gets here?"
We pan back to Millie as she walked down the street, catching a lot of eyes from several demons who liked what they saw which in their eyes was a smokin' hot MILF.
'Ok, store, store, where is a damn clothes store?' she thought as she looked around, Moxxie and Luuna squirming in her grasp. "Come on you two, no need to be all fussy."
"Millie, I can still walk on my own." Moxxie argued.
"Yeah, but you're barely wearing anything and Loona needs clothes too, if I let you go you'll just trip over your clothes."
"Just because I have the body of a child doesn't mean I am. I still have my adult mind, thank you very much." He crossed his arms.
"Yeah, well your adult mind isn't going to keep your pants on you, now is it?" She said before perking up as she spotted a store across the street. "Perfect!"
"What?" Moxxie asked as he looked over to see her making her way into a baby supply store. "Wait, Mollie where are you going?"
"Getting you clothes, duh."
"Millie, I don't think this is such a good idea. I mean, clothes sure, but baby ones?"
"Hate to break it to you Moxxie, but those are the only clothes that will fit you right now." She replied as they entered and looked around. "Now where is the boy's section?"
"Really, I just need small clothes. Like maybe a tiny suit, or even a bathrobe." He said as he looked around, getting a bad feeling.
"I doubt they sell suits that small Moxxie, besides, this'll be fun." She smiled before spotting the right aisle and went down it, looking at the clothes lined up. "It's like I'm a new mama getting her little guy all gussied up."
"Millie, you aren't th-"
"Aw hush up Moxxie, let mama Millie have some fun~" She chuckled as she picked up a pacifier and popped it into his mouth.
He gave her an unimpressed look with Loona nibbling on Millie's arm lightly.
"Now, what looks good for my little man?" She said as she looked over the selection, occasionally grabbing an outfit and holding it up against Moxxie.
'I hope she doesn't get too carried away with this.' He thought as Moxxie held up a sailor suit.
"How about this?"
'Are you serious Millie?' he thought as he looked at her with a deadpan.
"Hmm, yeah, white after labor day? That's just plain silly." She said with a chuckle as she shook her head before putting it back. "Hmmm…. What about this?" She asked as she held up a blue onesie with bunny ears on it.
He quickly crossed his arms in a 'X' formation.
"Aw, why not? It'll look so cute on you!"
He shook his head.
"C'mon Mox, you're gonna have to choose something eventually."
'Doesn't mean I have to look ridiculous in it.' He thought as she frowned and put the onesie back.
'If he doesn't choose something soon I'll just have to put him in something I want, or maybe just diapers? Wait...can he use a toilet like this?' She looked at him. "You haven't gone to the bathroom right?"
He shook his head no as he looked at her in confusion. 'No, I haven't, why would she ask that?'
"Oh thank goodness. Was worried I'd have to get used to changing your diapers, and that'd be kinda awkward."
'What?!' He thought as he looked at her in shock.
"Excuse me, ma'am? Do you need some help?" Asked a bored looking imp with the store uniform.
"Actually yes, what do you think would be a good piece of clothing for my hu- I mean, son?"
The imp looked at Moxxie before sighing and rubbed her head. "I don't know, maybe...this?" She grabbed a random item from the clothes rack, that being a pink onesie with fake cat ears on it.
"It's perfect!" Millie said with a gasp. "Thank you!"
"Whatever." She replied before noticing Loona. "Ma'am, we don't allow pets in here."
"Excuse me, but this is my baby hellhound, she is not a pet!" Frowned Millie while Moxxie saw Loona stare at him before letting out a bark.
'What, what do you want?' Moxxie thought while he looked at Loona in confusion.
"Whatever you say ma'am." Drawled the imp before walking away as Millie smiled at Moxxie.
"This is gonna be adorable on you!"
'Don't you dare!' He thought as he tried to spit out the pacifier as Millie turned her gaze to Loona.
"Now what do I get Loona….wait, she's just a baby...meaning she has no say in what she wears…" Millie trailed off as she remembered everything the hellhound had done to her in the past before grinning. "Looks like we need to get you something too~"
Moxxie got the pacifier out and groaned. "Millie, come on! You're not seriously thinking of me wearing THAT, right?"
"Oh I'm more than just thinking about it, I see a changing table in the next aisle over with your name on it~" She chuckled.
"Wait Millie, no!" He cried out as she walked over while grabbing something else on the way.
"Ah ah ah, it's mama~"
(Later)
"And….done!"
"This is humiliating…" Grumbled Moxxie, in the onesie while Loona was beside him, lightly biting at the sleeve of the sweater Millie had grabbed. "This is something I'd expect from Blitzo, but you Millie?"
"Hey, for all we know this is permanent, and if not I might as well have some fun, now smile~" She chuckled as she held up a camera.
"Not that!" He cried out before she took a pic, making him cover his eyes and Loona bark out at the sudden flash.
"Come on, I just want one picture...or maybe a hundred!" She smiled taking several more with glee.
"Nooooo!" He cried out as Loona just barked in confusion.
Meanwhile we cut to Blitzo, who… has fallen down and can't get up.
"Damn it! How the fuck do any of those old fossils get up from this?" He groaned while trying to pull himself up using the desk, but just felt his arms feel nothing but pain. "Ugh, this couldn't possibly get any worse!"
"Oh Blitzy, where are you~" Called Stolas as the front door of the office began to open.
"Shit it can!" He spoke as he forced himself to endure the pain and got back on his legs, right as Stolas appeared in the door.
"Blitzy, it's time for our little romp~" he chuckled before seeing the old imp trying to hobble away. "Oh, pardon me, you must be a client of his."
"No, it's me." Groaned Blitzo, making Stolas' eyes widen in horror.
"Blitzy?! But...you're so...so….old."
"Yeah, a crazy client messed me and the rest up, I got the worse of it." He groaned.
"B-But what am I supposed to do now?!" Cried out Stolas. "I mean, no offense, but even I have standards on what drives me wild, and old men just don't do it."
'Huh, guess being old DOES have a perk.'
"I swear, I will find a way to fix this Blitzy!" Spoke the owl demon with conviction before rushing out right as Blitzo sat down with a groan.
"Ok, I guess that went well…" he muttered and leaned back with a sigh. "If being old means that owl can't go nuts on my balls, maybe I could get used to this." He muttered as he shook his head. 'I'd still like to be young though.'
Back with Mollie, she hummed while carrying Moxxie and Loona, the first one not looking happy and the latter nibbling against the side of his onesie.
"Now then, where should we go now?"
"Home Millie, I don't want to be out in public like this any longer than necessary."
"Aw now don't be like that, it fits you like a glove." She chuckled as he groaned.
"Millie, I don't want to be like this, I just want to go to sleep and wake up being back to normal."
"Or maybe you just wanna cuddle up against mama." She teased before Loona started nibbling on her arm. "Now watch it young lady, no biting."
"Arf!"
"Hey, be good little Loona, you can eat when we get home." She remarked before pecking Moxxie and Loona on the heads which made her husband blush and Loona bark.
"Millie, I think you're having way too much fun with this."
"Oh nonsense, what makes you say that son?' She chuckled with a grin.
"Calling yourself mom, calling Loona your little hellhound, and addressing me as your son."
"Hey, don't talk back to your mother."
"See?!" spread his arms out in exasperation. "You're taking the role way too seriously."
"Please, you're overreacting." She said as she rolled her eyes.
"Hey there hot stuff." Chuckled a voice behind her before she felt someone slap her rear.
"Ooh! Hey!" she whirled around and glared at a tall demon with a muscular body frame and what looked like sunglasses, which only made him look like a complete douche. "Did you just slap my ass?!"
"You bet, how about you drop those kids off with a nanny and you and me go have some fun~" He grinned trying to sound suave with Moxxie glaring.
"Hey buzz off pal! She's spoken for!"
"Hey, shove a sock in it kid, the adults are talking."
"Don't you talk to my son like that!" Growled Millie. "He's ten times the man you are!"
"You little shit, you're harshing my vibe!" he growled. "Maybe without the brats you'll be up for some fun!" He shouted as he grabbed at Moxxie and Loona.
"Arf arf!" barked Loona with a growl before lunging out and bit down on his hand while Moxxie jumped onto the arm crawled up to his face before punching him in the eye.
"OW! Fuck!" He cursed trying to shake the two off before finding a fist hit him smack dab in the coconuts. "ACK!"
"That's for trying to hurt my kids you scumbag!" Growled Millie before Loona lunged and bit the jerk right in the throat and started tugging on the part. "Good girl, go for the jugular!"
"Nobody hits on my girl!" Yelled Moxxie before punching his other eye, making him cry out louder right as Millie swept his legs out from under him, making him drop down as Loona drew blood.
A few minutes passed and soon they were done, the one douchebag of a demon now a crying pile of mangled flesh and blood.
"Awww, you two did great." Smiled Millie hugging them as she walked off. "You took down that asshole like a couple of champs! This calls for ice cream."
Loona barked happily as Moxxie perked up.
"Ice cream sounds nice." He admitted, but noticed more of Millie's clothes looking ready to rip off. "But, maybe AFTER you get yourself new clothes."
"Huh. good call." She said as she looked around. She spotted a regular clothing store, which also looked like a BDSM adult store too and walked right on in.
(Five minutes later)
"Thanks again!" Called Millie walking out, now clad in a tight black corset around her body with knee high leather black high heeled boots, and a short leather skirt.
"Um, Millie? I think you went into the wrong store."
"Hey, it covers, so that's good enough for me right now." She said with a shrug. "Now come on, lets go get some ice cream."
"Arf arf!"
(Next day)
"Ugh…. how did this happen again?!" Blitzo groaned, once again finding himself on the floor. "All I did was close my eyes for a nap!"
KNOCK KNOCK
"Sir, are you in there?"
"No, I'm currently six feet under ground letting the worms eat out of my skull." he replied back sarcastically.
"Do you need help?" Millie called as she opened the door right as Moxxie and Loona tried to rush in only to be stopped by the child leashes they were currently wearing.
"Damn Millie, lovin' the new look." grinned Blitzo wiggling his eyebrows before looking at the other two and tried not to burst out laughing. "Wow Moxxie, guess I found out your secret fetish."
"Ha ha ha sir, very funny, you're a real riot." He said with a frown. "Say, how's the view from down there?"
"It'd be a lot better if SOMEONE could help me up."
"On it sir." Millie said as she rushed over to help the old imp.
"I swear, if I have to stay this old for one more day, I'm gonna-OW! Fucking hip!" He cursed, feeling it crack as he got on his feet. "How the fuck those seniors can keep living without cracking apart to pieces makes no sense."
"You think you've had it rough? Try wearing this." Frowned Moxxie tugging on the lease and onesie.
"Oh please, at least you can walk without hurting yourself."
"Arf arf." barked Loona trying to gnaw on her leash.
As they argued none of them noticed the machine from yesterday in the corner starting to shake.
"Moxxie, I think you're blowing this out of proportion. After all, who got a chance to sleep with mama?" She winked making him blush at the memory of him being smothered by her breasts the night before. "Hmmm, maybe I should consider nursing~"
"Don't you dare!" He cried out with a blush.
"What? You don't wanna suck on mama's breasts?"
"Yes! I-I-I mean no! I mean-gah! This is so confusing!" he cried out holding his head.
CLICK~
"Wait, what was tha-"
And cue another blinding light that engulfed all of them, catching all of them off guard as the tingling sensation came back.
"Oh fuck!" Moxxie cried out as he rubbed his eyes. "Did no one turn off that thing?!"
"Eh shut up ya baby." spoke a voice similar to Loona, except it sounded off.
"Wait, Loona, you're old again?" Blitzo called before gasping. "Wait, my bones don't hurt like hell anymore!"
"That's great sir!" Spoke up Millie, except now her voice sounded high pitched. "My voice! Wait, my clothes feel too big, no no no!"
Slowly the light began to die away, showing everyone wasn't the way they were, but still different. Blitzo had shrunk, except his wrinkles were gone, and it looked like he was suffering from acne. Millie looked around the same age as Moxxie was, shorter hair and tail with loose clothes, with said husband looking slightly older with some gray patches in his hair and his belly sticking out a bit. Along with Loona's leash broken since she was older, old lady old with patches of fur falling out as she looked more grumpy than usual.
"...Fuck, we changed ages again." Cursed Blitzo. "Now what?"
"How should I know?" frowned Moxxie as Millie looked at herself with a pout.
"My hot bod is gone…"
"Good, because I vaguely remember some shit and I'm gonna kick your ass!" Loona growled.
"Oh please, you look like you could have a heart attack." Jabbed Moxxie.
"Shut up half pint!" She growled.
KNOCK KNOCK
"Blitzy? Are you in there?" came Stolas' voice.
"Yeah!" Blitzo called out before pausing. "Shit, I'm not old anymore, I'm free game, hide me!" He whispered to Moxxie as Stolas opened the door.
"Good news, I've found someone who can help." called the owl as he looked inside, only to blink as Loona tried to claw at Moxxie, who managed to hold her back with ease.
"Give it up grandma!"
"I'm gonna-" she started coughing and stepped back while Blitzo held up Moxxie in front of him to try and hide himself.
"Oh no! Don't tell me it happened again!"
"Yeah, the thing went off again." Moxxie groaned. "I look like I really let myself go."
"Aw, it's not so bad Moxxie, you still look good to me." Spoke up Millie.
"Well don't get used to it because I have a solution!" Stolas dragged an imp in who had dorky glasses. "I've found someone who has just the answer to this conumbra, tell them."
"Y-Yes, well, I was the late doctors assistant and I think I know how to reverse this, unless you all would like to-"
"DO IT!"
"Ok, ok, well, just show me the device and I'll fix it."
Blitzo walked over to it, without dropping Millie, grabbed it, and chucked it into the imp's hands. "Just hurry up!"
"Ok, ok, now let's see if he...ok, here we go, the recall button."
"A recall button? You've gotta be shitting us."
"Yes, did no one check?" He asked as he hit the button. It started to glow and shake before rising up in the air, causing bolts to shoot out and hit the three imps and hellhound. They twitched violently before the light died down, showing them all to be back to normal.
"Ow! Fuck me that hurt." groaned Loona looking at her body. "At least now I don't have granny tits."
"Now then, since you're all back to normal I suggest leaving me and Blitzy alone~" Stolas said as he made his way to the imp.
Blitzo went wide eyed and pulled Moxxie over. "I'd love to Stolas, really, but I just realized me and Moxxie here have to...go take care of a job! Just the two of us."
"Have the girl imp and your pet take care of it, we have business to get into~"
"I'm out." spoke Loona grabbing her phone and heading out while Millie grabbed Moxxie and carried him away.
"Wait, don't leave me, DON'T LEAVE ME!"