List of Oneshots part 4

by yugiohfan163

Requests are not guaranteed to be done. If they get done, they get done. Don't go expecting any ideas done at the drop of a hat or expect any promises. No ones making any money off these, which means we're not obligated to rush on certain ideas.

39. Chapter 39

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 39

What if we saw some monster girls who raised human males?

xxxxxxxxxxxx

In a large and vast desert is where the heat seemed to always burn bright and where a figure was currently slithering across it with a dark umbrella over their head.

"This heat is killing me… is it hotter than usual?" They questioned, fanning themselves as it was shown to be a lone Apophis looking around the sand with distaste. "Honestly, it's probably that bitches fault, she knows I don't like the heat."

She wiped at her forehead and began to spot a pyramid in the distance. "That's it, in and out, today that bitch dies." she gave a fanged grin with a glint as she sped up her slithering. "I'll have some fun turning her into a pleasure induced slut, then get rid of her, and begin to expand my rule across here by using her very own pyramid." She chuckled as she made her way to the front, only to pause as she saw a dead camel in front of the pyramid. "Huh...that's new."

She leaned her body down and slithered up behind it, using it as cover and peaked over to the entrance of the building, but didn't spot any guards. 'Wow, it's like she's just ASKING to be killed.' She thought before spotting a lone figure on the ground, clutching a basket with a blanket on top of it. 'Hmm, well well well, looks like I've found some prey~' She thought as she began to slither forward, only to frown as she saw the figure was a dead woman. 'Damn it.'

She snapped her fingers in annoyance before looking at the basket and moved over, right before hearing a hiss and looked up, spotting a red cobra glaring at her near the entrance as a dark skinned woman walked out, making her hiss back.

"I thought my pet sensed something. Turns out it's just a lowly vermin."

"You shouldn't dismiss a predator, not when her prey is right in front of her." glared the Apophis with the Pharaoh raising an eyebrow when she saw the camel and dead woman.

"Is this meant to be a warning? Killing animals and random humans? I'm not frightened."

"This isn't my doing, I assumed it was yours, you and your ruthless guards." Hissed the Apophis before they heard a small sound coming from the basket. Both turned to it as the blanket over it seemed to move slightly. "What the…"

"Is that…"

"A baby?!" They cried out at the same time. Both rushed over quickly at the same time with the Pharaoh reaching down and slowly pulling the blanket away, revealing a small baby with its eyes closed laying there.

"...cute." They both said as they looked down at him with a smile. They reached down to pick him up, but stopped and turned to the other with frowns.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I was here first, so I am taking my new son away from you, filthy harlot."

"YOUR son? Don't make me laugh!" The Pharaoh said with a smirk. "He is clearly mine, I can already see the noble potential in him."

"Oh please, I found him before you while you were inside probably letting all those mutts of yours rubbing your feet. I'm more maternal material than you." Scoffed the Apophis.

"Shows what you know. Seeing as there hasn't been many human males coming here, it only makes sense I have a child to continue my legacy."

"Legacy? Of what? One lousy pyramid? Last I checked you needed something worthwhile to leave behind with a child, and I don't see an oasis around." jabbed the Apophis with her tongue sticking out.

"Liar! I have an entire city beneath the sand! And you're no better! You have nothing, you live nowhere! That is no place to raise a child!"

"Your snake would eat him!"

"More lies! He's well trained and knows his place." she rubbed the top of it's head. "But I can't say the same about OTHER filthy snakes."

"Oh please! I deserve him more than you! You have plenty of sluts to scratch your itch. Me on the other hand? I can help show him how to send anyone into a complete state of lust, guaranteeing him a full and fun life. Why, I could even help him land a harem, something you couldn't without so much as a camel coming by."

"Well at least I'll be able to give my son the attention he deserves!"

"Don't you mean the help will do that?" The Apophis picked up the child and held it in her arms with a smile. "I'll give….wait." she reached down and lifted the blanket slightly. "Yep, definitely male. Anyway, I'll be able to give him ALL my attention and love while you sit on your throne and ignore him. I've seen what your kind do all day."

"Oh please, don't judge me for the actions of a few lowborn fakes!" Hissed the Pharaoh. "Now leave or I'll have you killed!"

"Ok, whatever you say." she smirked before she took off slithering with the child.

"Hey! I didn't say leave with my son!"

"I'm not! I'm leaving with MY son!" she laughed before the Pharaoh took off chasing her.

"(Later)

"Ok...so we need to settle this before my son gets hurt." Huffed the Apophis, her and the Pharaoh covered in bruises, cuts and scrapes.

"Yes, my son doesn't need to end up with scars so soon in life." the Pharaoh looked at the baby sitting between them and playing with his toes. "We shall let him decide."

"Agreed." Said the Apophis before turning to the baby. "Come on honey, come to mommy, not that gold wearing skank."

"Come on sweetie, you can trust me, not that sunburnt snake whore." smiled the Pharaoh crouching low as he turned to her.

"Come here, I promise not to turn you into a mummy, something that glorified corpse would love to do." remarked the Apophis making the tanned woman scowl at her.

"I promise to get you anything you want and make sure MY snake doesn't swallow you whole."

"I promise to make sure you are always happy and will never be neglected by this overworked charlatan."

"I promise to make sure you don't trip over this slimy snake's huge butt and tail."

"Well I promise to give you actual food! Not stuff that was buried ten thousand years ago!" the Apophis started raising her voice.

"I'll give you food that won't give you rabies!"

"I'll give you a bed that isn't made out of sand!"

"I don't sleep on sand! I sleep in a high class sarcophagus!" the Pharaoh pointed at the snake woman in the face. "I've slept like a baby in it without a single issue!"

"See, she wants to kill you and put you in a coffin!" The Apophis cried out in fake horror.

"They're comfy and more pleasant than the inside of your stomach!"

"I'm not going to eat him! Unlike you and your pet snake, that thing's been looking at him like a tasty meal the entire time!" she jabbed at the cobra which snapped at her finger. "See?!"

"I can practically see you making a drool puddle!"

"Like you're any better!" Growled the snake monster. "I bet you've already planned what dish you want to cook him up as in your royal kitchen!"

Both butted heads while growling.

"You wanna go bitch?"

"Bring it on!"

"Baba!" Spoke the baby cutting in, making both turn to him as he sat up.

"Huh? What is it honey, are you ready to go home with your real mommy?" Asked the PharaohPharaoh with a smile. "She has plenty of water inside, you must be thirsty."

"I think you mean try and kidnap him from his actual mommy." cut in the Apophis.

"Fuck off snake bitch."

"Such language! And you call yourself his mommy." The Apophis chuckled smugly before holding out her arms. "Come little Able, it's time to go."

"That's not his name!"

"Oh yes it is!"

"Mamas!" he let out with a smile, making both stop and stare in shock.

"...what?"

"Mamas! Mamas!" He spoke up while holding his arms out.

"No... just mama, singular." spoke the Pharaoh. "Ma-ma."

"Mamas!" He said with a giggle, making them both feel horrible.

"No... you only have one ma-"

"Mamas!"

"Now now, it's-"

"Mamas!" He said as the two looked at each other hesitantly.

"Do you wanna tell him or..."

"No you tell him." The Apophis said nervously. 'I don't want to break his heart!'

"Mamas?" He repeated as he began to sound unsure, his eyes starting to water.

Both women went wide eyed and looked at the other in panic.

"Fix this! You're making him cry!"

"Fine! As his REAL mommy, I will!" the Pharaoh reached down and smiled. "It's alright my child, no need to be sad, your mommy will make everything all better."

"Mamas!" he said as he looked over to the Apophis and held out his hands. "Mamas, mamas!"

"It's not working, he's still saying mamas!" She said as she began to panic. "Why do you want two? Aren't I enough?!"

"Maybe he's just hungry!"

"Mamas!"

"Quick, cook up your snake to feed him!" spoke the Apophis with siad cobra looking at her like 'I beg your pardon?!'.

"I'm not doing that to my pet! Why don't you cut off your fat tail!"

"No! You cut off your arm you b-"

"Mamas!" he started bawling his eyes out.

"Oh! No, no, shhh, shhh, it's ok honey, it's ok!" the Pharaoh tried rocking him gently. "Please don't cry."

"Shut up and give him here, he wants his REAL mother." frowned the Apophis. "You're making it worse."

"And what would YOU do?" The Pharaoh asked with a frown, rocking the baby.

"Give him love and affection, something you are incapable of doing." She took the baby and smiled down at him. "It's alright, mommy will keep you nice and safe."

"...Mamas! Mamas!" he kept crying out.

"See! You're just as bad!"

Both growled while the baby started whimpering while crying.

"Gah! This is getting us nowhere!"

"Mamas! Mamas! Mamas!" He cried out as he looked from the Pharaoh to the Apophis.

"I... think he wants us both to raise him?"

"What? That makes no sense." She said with a frown. "What does he want? Us to live together and share him?!"

"That's what it sounds like to me."

"But we can't do that, right?!"

"Well right now it looks like we don't have much choice now do we?" Sighed the Pharaoh. "Just know that I still hate your guts."

"Feelings mutual."

"Mamas!"

"...fine, but we don't have to like this." relented the Apophis crossing her arms. "I'm sleeping in his room, just so I know YOU won't try and kick me out."

"And I'll do the same so I know you won't want a midnight snack."

(Timeskip)

"And that is how me and your mother got together." finished the Apophis as she and the Pharaoh sat on a stone slab, looking at a now grown up young man who had dark skin, from constant sunlight, and black hair that covered his eyes with bandages wrapped around his wrists, ankles, and waist, a white cloth covering his groin, with some gold rings in the shape of snakes on his fingers.

"Wait, so you two got together and stuck around because you didn't want to upset me? And then along the way you two fell in love?"

"Pretty much." The pharaoh said with a nod.

"Yep."

"So...what would have happened if I didn't say anything?"

"Um... we probably would have tried to kill each other."

"And the winner would have taken you to raise on her own."

"Wait, really?!" he gawked at them in shock.

"Of course."

"Don't…..you think that is kind of extreme?" He asked nervously.

"Not really." The Apophis said with a shrug. "We've been trying to kill each other for years."

He stared at them in surprise while feeling a block of pressure drop on his shoulders from hearing this. "Ah... but you two are good now?"

"Yes, Isis here finally saw how I was superior to her and became subservient to me." Bragged the Apophis as the Pharaoh growled.

"Wrong. Bastet here realized I was in the right all along and I pretended to let her think she was in control, which is not at all true." smirked Isis making the Apophis hiss at her with a glare.

"Oh please, you know damn well that's wrong, and you weren't complaining about being submissive last night~" She taunted wagging her fingers.

The teen blushed hearing that while Isis turned red and shoved the woman.

"Shut up! You were no better last week! You had me tie you up and then punish you!"

"Ahh! Don't say that out loud!" Cried out the young man as he covered his ears and turned to leave. "I'm heading out!"

"Try and see if you can bring back a harem sweetie!" Called Bastet with a smile.

"Just tell us if you want one, I'm sure my servants would be happy to please you!" called Isis with a few Anubis guards blushing on the side.

"La la la la! I can't hear you!" He cried out as he kept walking.

"Look what you did." Bastet said with a frown.

"Oh no, don't you put this on ME snakey!" glared Isis.

"I just did miss toilet paper! " Hissed the snake girl.

"Limbless slut!"

"Walking sandbox!"

Both butted heads with a glare, which lasted for a few seconds before they started making out right then and there.

As that occurred, we find ourselves back in time, but this time elsewhere. Specifically in a more….odd place. One most would think belongs in a story book. It was a strange land filled with large mushrooms the size of buildings, strange creatures in the air, truly a strange and alien place.

Skipping through the forest was a girl with blond hair and in a white and blue dress with wings on her back and smiling.

"La la, la a la la, what a good day~" She sang while jumping over a river that was colored orange and pink, acting normal and casual about the stuff that would make most people question if this was a dream. She hummed happily before pausing as she saw what looked like a broken stroller on the side of the trail. She blinked and tilted her head before walking over to it with curiosity.

She began to approach it when she heard a wail come from it, making her gasp before smiling.

"Baby!" she cheered when she looked inside and saw a small baby with brown hair crying his eyes out. "My baby now!" She giggled as she reached in and pulled out the baby, struggling to hold him in her small arms. "Awww, you're SOOOO cute! Yes you are, yes you are."

"Mabblah?" The baby gurgled, making her smile.

"Yep, I'm your mama now!"

(Timeskip)

"Mama, mama! Look, I found a mushroom!" cheered the small child, his brown hair having grown out and wearing a loose white shirt and tan shorts running over to the Alice with a large mushroom in hand. "It's gigantic!"

"Aw, that's great work!" She said with a smile as she hugged him. "I'll serve it up for lunch!"

"Yay!" He cheered as she patted his head. "Can we have milk?"

"Of course, with lots and lots of sugar." She smiled as the boy pulled her into a hug, with him a foot taller than her.

(Later)

"Ok, time for lunch~" Sang the girl as the boy bit into the roasted mushroom, both of them inside a huge mushroom that was decorated with numerous frilly objects, including plushies, with the mushroom having been cooked using the fireplace. "How is it?"

"Mmm, tasty!" he hummed as he chewed it up.

"Make sure to drink all your milk to wash it down." She said with a smile. 'This is so much fun, being a mother was the best idea ever!'

"Ok mama! Hey, can I be the papa next time?" he asked curiously as he munched up the mushroom.

"Of course, it only makes sense to make it fair." She said with a nod. "I can't be the mama all the time, right?"

"Yay!" He cheered as she smiled. "You're the best mama! I love you!"

"I love you too!" She cheered happily.

(Another timeskip)

The Alice hummed, pouring tea into some cups while looking up at the clock. "I wonder where he is, he should be coming home any minute."

Knock Knock Knock

"Mom, I'm home!"

She ran over to the door and opened it up before hugging the man, who easily towered over her with longer hair, and still had the same clothes before, but held together against his frame. "You're back!"

"Sorry if I'm a little late, Cathay wouldn't stop teasing me and kept distracting."

"Oh, do I have to have a talk with her?" she pouted pulling away. "I don't want her to be bullying you."

"No no, really, she's just having her fun." He held up his hands and walked inside with her closing the door.

"Well if you say so, now come, I have dinner ready."

"Ok...hey, mom? I wanted to talk to you...I was thinking it's time for me to find my own mushroom." He admitted as she grabbed the cups before turning to him in surprise. "I've been thinking about this for a week, thought now was a good time to tell you."

"Do...do you mean like your own mushroom to eat?" She asked hopefully.

"Well….not exactly." he rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, my own mushroom to live in."

"...NO! No no no no no!" She cried out, falling to the floor as she began to kick her legs and thrash her arms about in a tantrum.

The man flinched, but sighed as he got up and walked over to her. "Come on mom, please don't do this."

"Nooooooo! Don't wanna, don't wanna!" She cried out, her face red.

He crouched down to try and help her stand up and hold her. "Come on mom, you can't throw a temper tantrum like this."

"DON'T GOOOOOOOO!" She cried out, beating her arms against him uselessly. "YOU CAN'T GO! YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T!"

"Yes, I can mom, and I think you know that." he sighed. "Mom...I already found a place, me and Cathy are moving i-"

"AWAAAAAAH! YOU'RE MEAN!" she burst into tears. "MEANIE! Meanie son, so mean! WAAAAAHHAAHA!"

"Mom please! Be reasonable! I can't stay here for the rest of my life! And it's not all bad, you can come and visit us whenever you want. It's not that far away."

"No! This is horrible, don't go! I-I forbid it!" She sniffed. "No go!"

He groaned as she wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly. "Mom, please let go."

"Nuh-uh!"

"You can't always get your way mom. I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm all grown up."

"NO! Y-You're my little boy!"

"Mom, I'm four feet taller than you."

"Height doesn't matter!"

"It kinda does." He admitted as she sniffled and started crying into his shirt. "Mom please, this works out for both of us. I can move out and go in a bigger mushroom, and you can redecorate this one like it used to be. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"N-Not as fun if you were here…"

"Mom, I'm sorry, but it's time, you knew this had to happen eventually." He sighed looking at her. "It's time to understand and see that I'm ready to move on."

"...you don't have to go…"

"I'm sorry mom, but it's already taken care of, I move out tonight." He gently pried her off and set her down with her having tears running down her cheeks.

"Please….don't go."

"I promise I'll visit you as often as I can mom, ok?" he crouched down and wiped the tears away while smiling. "It'll be hard, but I'm not going away forever. I'm still your little boy no matter what."

The little monster sniffed before looking up at him hopefully. "Promise?"

"Yep, promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise." He said with a smile as they crossed pinkies.

"Ok….you can go."

(Later)

"Uh mom? I know I'd visit soon, but…"

"What?" the Alice smiled, sitting on his couch. "I decided I couldn't wait and came by to visit right away!"

"The very next day?" He said as he scratched his cheek. "This uh… isn't the best time mom, I was kinda in the middle of something…"

"I don't know babe, this is kinda kinky." chuckled Cathy, a Cheshire Cat who was casually walking past in a bathrobe.

"No Cathy, not while my mother is here."

"Awww, why not, she's the one butting into our fun time!"

"Because it's weird!" He groaned. "Mom, I promise I'll visit tomorrow, can you just please leave?"

"Mmmm, nope~" She said with a grin, making him groan. 'This'll show him for leaving!'

Meanwhile, we find ourselves at a rather imposing and ominous castle. We see a tall figure walking down a long hallway towards a large table full of various foods, luxurious gifts and various other objects. Said figure had dark skin, long white hair, and wore black leather dress that revealed much of her body.

"So these are the latest offers the people have given me in order to spare them...pathetic." She scoffed as she looked through the items. "Most of these could barely purchase an entire carriage." She rolled her eyes as she glanced at the food. "They even gave me perishable food, disgusting." She said as she moved towards a large basket of apples. She reached down to grab an apple from the basket, but when she pulled back, she felt something hold the apple from her. "Hmm?" She murmured in mild surprise as she turned her head to seesee a small hand grasping the apple. She raised an eyebrow and looked in the middle of the basket, only to go wide eyed seeing a baby holding the apple and staring up at her. "A baby? How did you get here?"

The newborn stared up at the woman who let go of the apple.

"Did someone put you in here?"

"Bbbala."

"Ah, right, you're an infant, you can't talk." she muttered while shaking her head while picking up the basket entirely. "Some human must have left you in here. They must have thought I'd accept a child instead of just food. Oh they think they're sneaky are they? Well let's see how they feel after I pillage the entire village to the ground." She said with a smirk as the baby babbled. "Though that does raise the question on what to do with you? Perhaps turn you into an Alp?"

"Hehehehe." the baby let out as she looked up in thought.

"Then again, I could always put you in one of the orphanages, plenty of space and I'm sure there's another subject of mine baby crazed." she mused as she tapped her chin. "What to do, what to do..."

"Hehehehe." giggled the baby as he squirmed happily in her grasp.

"Don't worry, you'll get a home in no time." She said with a smile. "I'll personally ensure it."

He tilted her head at her as she walked back inside.

"CHLOE!"

"I'm coming your highness!" called a voice before a pixie flew over with orange hair and wearing a french maid's outfit. "Yes your highness?"

"I need you to take this baby to an orphanage." She said as she held up the infant.

"Yes ma'am, right away." she nodded and moved to grab the handle of the basket, lifting it with a grunt as her mistress let go and moved to walk by her with the baby inside looking confused.

"Mama?"

She stopped and turned her head, caught off guard. "Chloe? Did it just..."

"Mama!"

"It appears so your highness." nodded the pixie.

Her mouth dropped open as the pixie struggled to fly off.

"Don't worry about it your highness, I'll get him out of your hair."

"No, wait!" She called out quickly.

The pixie stopped as her mistress walked over. "Yes your highness?"

"Bring him back here."

"But your highness, I thought-"

"Are you questioning me?!"

"N-No ma'am!"

"Then bring him to me, now."

"Yes ma'am!" she fluttered over quickly as her mistress carefully picked the baby out and noted he was in a blue blanket.

She carefully peaked under it while the baby smiled. "It's just as I thought, he IS male."

"A male? Are you going to change him your highness?"

"No, I'm not changing him." she replied holding her finger down and smiled as he grabbed it. "I will leave him as is, and raise him."

"W-What?!" the small girl stared at the Lilim in surprise. "You want to raise a human? But why? Wouldn't it be easier to make him-"

"Are you questioning me?" she narrowed her eyes making Chloe shake and gulp.

"O-O-Of course not! I-I-I'm just curious, I swear!" She said quickly. "I-if that's all ma'am I'll take my leave…"

"You best do that." She said as the pixie flew away as fast as she could. "Now then, let's see if we can't find you some proper clothes."

(Timeskip)

Chloe sighed to herself, fluttering down the hallway and looking exhausted. "I need a nap, a hundred year one…"

"Chloe, where are you~?" Called a male's voice making her stiffen up and blush. "I have need for you~"

'I wonder if I could pretend I didn't hear him?' she thought as she kept fluttering before hearing a door creak open and felt a pair of eyes on her.

"There you are my dear~" Called an elegant man's voice before a hand shot out and grabbed the Pixie.

"Eeep! Y-Young prince! Not again!" she yelped as the man stepped out to show a handsome man with white hair that covered part of his face with an open white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, long black pants, and had several silver bangs on his wrists.

"Come now Chloe, I get oh so very lonely."

"I-I have duties to attend to in the palace!" She gulped as he held her near his face. "If I don't do them, your mother will be livid!"

"I'm sure she'd make an exception if she knew the reason you were late~" he gave a charming smile. "After all, you're still doing your duties, making your prince nice and satisfied when he needs amusement."

"T-That's not one of my duties though! Those are your royal harem's duties!"

"This is true, but they're still asleep after last night, and I have PLENTY of energy to spare." he smiled before pecking her on the cheek making her turn bright red.

"I-If your mother finds out s-she won't be happy!"

"That's why it'll be our little secret~" he chuckled before finding his ear yanked, hard. "OW!"

"Son, what are you doing?" The Lilim asked with a frown. "What have I told you about harassing the staff?"

"But mother, I wasn't!" He cried out as she let go with him rubbing it. "I was...just thanking Chloe for all her hard work around here is all."

"Really, then you wouldn't mind letting her go now then, correct?"

"Of course. Go on Chloe, keep up the good work." he smiled while letting her go.

"T-Thank you sir?" She fluttered off quickly with the man turning to his mother with a smile.

"See? I was just thanking her for doing a good job."

His mother crossed her arms under her chest with him gulping.

"So mother, what brings you here?"

"I'm here to discuss your recent actions, specifically the ones you are committing with the staff of the castle."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"How about the time I caught you with the cook staff?"

"I was thanking her for the amazing breakfast."

"The gardeners in the rose bushes?"

"They wanted my opinion on a few new seeds."

"How about the foreign dignitaries? What were they doing in your room, on your bed, naked?"

"They were showing me how they say hello in their country."

"Cut the bullshit son, you are the prince, you cannot just sleep around with anything with a pulse, or without in some cases."

"Oh come on mother. You can't expect me NOT to after all the teachings you drilled into me." He pouted. "What's the point of using the techniques if you'll get upset with me?"

"I taught you those techniques to use on your future wife, not every hussy you see!" She facepalmed. "Do you know why you don't see me constantly bedding men over and over?"

"Because you have high standards?" he teased before getting both ears yanked. "Ow ow ow ow!"

"No! It's because I don't need to worry about several kids at once when I already have one." she let go as he rubbed them. "Which is what you need to consider. What do you think will happen if you screw everything around you without thinking?"

"Please, it'll be fine, what's the worst that could happen?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Oh really? Tell me, do you use protection?"

"...uh…..well…..oh! I do like to spice things up by blowing my load on their-"

"So that's a big fat no." She said with a sigh. "So that means any day now you should be getting a notice that you're a father, aren't you?"

"Oh come on mother, you should be ecstatic if that happens."

"Yes, but guess what? That would lead to you having so many kids you'd end up showing more attention to more than others, and can you guess what that will lead to? Here's a hint, it doesn't end pleasantly." She said with a growl. "ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU ARE ROYALTY!"

"Well….uh….maybe it won't be that bad. Maybe we got lucky?"

"MAYBE isn't good enough. As of this day, I am making it a rule that if you even THINK of taking the staff in any shape or form, I will personally bring out the whole chastity belt I have in storage, and make you wear it for a month for EACH woman you've slept with who isn't part of your harem." She growled as he paled. "Don't you dare think I'm kidding either, you will obey this rule or so help me I'll never take the belt off you!"

"Y-Y-Yes mother!" he nodded quickly.

"Good, now go to your harem and apologize, you've also been cheating on them."

He slumped his head and shoulders before walking off with a pout. "Fine."

"Good, now be a good prince and keep it in your pants!" She called as she shook her head. 'I do NOT need my future grandchildren in a bloodbath over the throne.'

Meanwhile hundreds of miles away in an abandoned mansion a small figure was approaching a small bundle left on the front step. Said figure titled their head as they looked around for anyone who left it there, but saw no one. They leaned down and looked into the bundle only to blink in surprise as they saw a baby staring back at them.

"...you will be mine."

(Timeskip)

"Jake? How much longer till we get there?" Groaned a blonde as they walked through the woods. "We've been walking for hours!"

"We're almost there I promise. You are gonna love it. It's one of those old fashion ones that you don't see anywhere else." The guy said with a grin, having shaggy blond hair and a little stubble.. "It's a beautiful house, you're gonna love it!"

"It better be if it's all the way out here." she grumbled as they had been hiking through a thick forest with the sky getting darker. "By the time we get there I won't even be able to see it!"

"Of course you will, it's hard not to see."

"What do you mean by tha-" The girl starte, only to freeze as they walked into a clearing and saw the mansion, with it's boarded up windows, storm clouds above it, and what looked like gargoyles glaring at her from the rooftop.

"We're here!" he smiled without looking bothered, but the girl was the opposite.

"This is your house?" the girl looked up at the mansion with a nervous gulp and got a cold chill looking at the looming building.

"Well technically it's my mom's house, but yes." He smiled. "I know the lawn is a bit overgrown, but she's unable to trim it herself."

'That's not the problem!' she thought while waving her hands around. "It looks like some kind of haunted mansion!"

"Well it is a mansion, but haunted? That's crazy talk." He waved off as he led her towards it, much to her nervousness."Trust me, you'll feel much better when you meet my mom."

"If you say so... but if I see one ghost I'm out."

"I swear to you, there aren't any ghosts." He said as he opened the door. "Mom, I'm home!"

The girl felt a colder chill run down her back when she saw how dark it was and felt almost close to peeing herself. 'Ok, just meet the mom, say goodbye then leave!'

"Mom? You awake? I brought a girl with me!" He called as the house shook a bit. "Ah, she must still be asleep."

"Well I better just come back later then." The girl said as she turned to leave, only for the door to slam shut. "H-Hey, what the?"

"Cool, moms awake, she must be nearby." remarked the man before the sound of slow and still footsteps echoed down the hall in front of them.

"I-Is there a light switch we can turn on?"

"No, my mom prefers to use candles."

"Why?!" she shouted as the footsteps got faster.

"She finds it easier to light them up then using machines since they could break down and neither of us are really tech savvy."

"It's lightbulbs! They're not that complicated!"

"I tried telling her that." he sweatdropped while the footsteps came closer and closer, with the girl hearing a low and almost quiet chuckle.

"D-Do you by chance have a younger sibling or something?"

"No, I'm an only child." He said as a light began to appear as a small figure raced forward, holding a candle.

The girl went wide eyed and heard the giggling get louder. 'This house is haunted!'

"Hi mom!" He said as the figure leaped into the air at him.

"MINE!" Called the doll as she smacked into the guy, leading to him falling back on his...well, back, and making the girl jump to the side.

'Oh god, evil doll!' she thought, the candle illuminating the figure. It was the size of a child who was wearing a dark blue victorian style dress with long black hair, red eyes, and pale skin with the joints noticeable on the hands as it clung to the man's chest with a frown.

"Who are you bitch?" she asked the girl bluntly with a cold tone.

"I...I...I..." She stuttered, unable to form words.

"Mom, this is the girl I just told you about." spoke the man sitting up with a sigh. "I wanted to bring her around to meet you."

"I don't like her." remarked the doll bluntly while narrowing her eyes. "She's too skinny."

"C'mon, you haven't even given her a chance yet." he replied standing up while the doll hung onto his chest like a child would a parent. "Andria? This is my mom."

"The... doll?" she asked, pointing to the small figure with a shaky finger.

"Who else you idiot?" spat said doll with a frown. "Are you blind too?"

"No, I-"

"Dump this blind bitch." The doll demanded, her face blank.

"Mom! She's not blind. She's-"

"GETTING OUT OF HERE!" screamed the girl before barreling right through the front door.

"No, wait! Come back!"

"Forget her son, she was useless." The doll said, a smile forming on her face. 'My son is protected now~'

"You only spent a minute with her!" he pointed out.

"Not my fault she's too spineless. I barely spoke and she was already shaking like a leaf." she remarked bluntly with a casual shrug.

"Ugh, this is why I can't bring people over, you always do this!"

"Do what?" she tilted her head innocently.

"Scare them away, and I know you do it on purpose!" He accused.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." she remarked with a blank face before smiling. "But since you're back, why don't I get an early dinner started?"

"I don't think so, I have to go find Andria and apologize."

"Aw come on, I made your favorite meal."

"I... you mean Mac n cheese?"

"With hotdogs in it~"

"...ok, dinner first." He said with a sigh as the doll smirked triumphantly.

'Mama knows best!' She thought with a smile as the camera panned away to a lone village at the base of a mountain range. Said village was NOT having a good day.

"AHHHH! THE ONIS ARE COMING!" Screamed a villager, making the others go pale and turn to the nearby mountain as several trees started getting pushed down.

"Hide the women and children!" called one man quickly.

The people rushed while screaming and went to board themselves in their homes with their livestock while numerous booms came down due to large metal battle clubs beating the ground.

"Oh god, we're all gonna die!"

More trees were pushed away while a mob of what looked like numerous colored women with horns and tiger striped clothing were heading straight towards it.

'Oh god, this is the end!' Thought one man as he locked the door.

Leading the group of oni was a taller oni colored red with two horns jutting out, long black hair, and had gold rings piercing her nipples while wearing samurai shoulder pads, shin guards, leg and arm guards, and brown loincloth while dragging the biggest club out of them all with white lipstick. "Alright girls, you know what to do!" She gave a cruel smirk. "Go wild~"

"Woohoohoo!"

"Here we go, come out boys~"

When they reached the village the streets were empty and silent.

"Alright, come out cowards!" bellowed the leader of the onis while banging her weapon on the ground, making it shake. "We know you're here! We can smell your stench all over this place, so get out here and give us what we want!"

'Don't do it, just wait for them to leave!' thought several people as the onis walked through the town.

"We'd be more than happy to just smash these doors in if you prefer~" Called one as she tapped her club on one of the doors.

The people gulped before one of them peeked out and paled seeing the village's mage making his way to them while using his staff as a walking stick while holding a bundle in his arms. 'Oh no, what's that old man doing?'

"Hey boss, look, we got a live one." Chuckled one of the monsters as the man steeled himself and cleared his throat.

"You... you are oni, aren't you?" he asked in a tired voice as the boss oni looked down at him with a smirk.

"No, we're a bunch of lost little mikos looking for a temple." she got the rest of her group to laugh with her when she finished.

"Really? Excellent, I have something for you then."

"Oh really, and what's tha-" she was cut off as he held up the bundle, making her raise an eyebrow. "What? Is it some bag of potatoes? Ha! It's too late to offer up any tribute to us, besides, we only take sake old timer."

"No, this is more important than sake." He said as the head oni scoffed and took the bundle.

"Please, what could...be..." she trailed off when she looked at it and went wide eyed looking at a sleeping baby with a tuft of black hair and looked peaceful. "A-a baby? Why would y- hey! Where did he go?!" she cried looking down and saw he had vanished.

"Boss, what just happened, why'd he give you a baby?"

"Eh who cares? Let's get back to business." spoke one oni raising her club, only for their boss to reach over and grab it without looking away from the bundle.

"No, we're heading back to the mountain." The leader said, making the others pause before breaking out into groans and protests.

"What?! Why?!"

"Because I said so." she glared. "Now let's go."

"Are... they leaving?" one villager asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I think so... hey, spread the word, if you give these monsters a baby they leave!"

The onis headed back up to the cave in the mountain with the girls confused while their boss made sure not to wake the baby up.

"Um... boss? Why did you keep the kid?" asked one oni as the boss walked over to her spot near a large bonfire and sat down while smiling at the baby. "If you wanted a kid, you could just get one from one of those men."

"No, I don't wanna go through the shit that is pregnancy, plus this little guy is kinda cute." she admitted while holding him near her breast as she reached down to take a drink from her sake gourd as the baby began to slowly open his eyes.

"So... are you really keeping him?"

"Course I am." she replied before jumping when she felt something bite her and looked down to see the baby latched onto her nipple and trying to suck on it. "H-Hey, I'm all dry there, and be careful, my piercings could hurt you!"

The baby didn't listen and just suckled on the nub while trying to ignore the nasty tasting ring with her blushing and shivered before feeling something flowing out and into his mouth.

'Is he actually milking me?! What the fuck?!' she thought in surprise while the baby enjoyed the milk, albeit noting it had a sour taste to it, but kept on sucking even as she tried to pull him back with him using his small hands to hold on. "Hey, come on, I just had sake."

"Uh, boss? I don't think he wants to let go."

"I can see that, but he shouldn't be doing this, breastfeeding after drinking isn't a good idea!" she huffed while getting him off the nub, only to see him give her an upset expression before he burst out crying and started squirming around in her hold. "No, no, please don't cry, I'm sorry baby but momma's milk is bad, you can't drink it!"

'Momma?' thought her subordinates with a sweatdrop as the baby got more fussy.

"No no no, please, I'm sorry honey but I can't feed you! Angela, get over here, are you sober?!"

"Not really~!" she called while chugging from a barrel.

"Damn it! Ok, who here is sober and capable of breastfeeding?!"

None of the girls spoke up and instead either went to get drunk or just started brawling.

"God damn it." She growled as the child kept bawling. She looked down at it and felt annoyed. "Stop it."

It kept on crying while fussing.

"I said, stop it." she growled which made the baby stop and look up at her before reaching up at her face. "Good, you finally stopped. Hey, what are you reaching for?" she asked as he made some sounds while looking at the horns and tried reaching out as far as he could. "Oh, you like my horns, huh honey?"

The baby tried to reach as far as he could as the oni held him up close and let him grab one making him smile.

'So cute~' She thought with a smile.

"So boss….are you gonna eat the baby or something?" asked one curiously while gnawing on a piece of recently cooked boor making the chief glare at her.

"Do I LOOK like it?" she growled while the baby started grabbing at her other horn and tried to lift himself up on them. "I'm going to raise him, this is my new son!"

"If you say so, but it feels weird." remarked another. "A bunch of oni raising a human? Sounds pretty crazy if you ask me."

"Good thing I didn't, because that's how it is, if anyone has an issue," she slammed her club beside her with a glare as her new son managed to dangle off her horns with a giggle without being bothered by the action. "I'm MORE than open to hearing objections."

"...dibs on being an aunt!"

"I call godmother!"

"Good, glad to see we're all in agreement. From this forward, he is my son and I will raise him to be the strongest human around." she gave a feral grin.

"Yeah!"

"Alright! Let's celebrate, give the baby some booze!"

"Yeah!"

"NO!" She yelled out with a glare. "He can get booze only AFTER he's grown up and earned it. I'm not going to hold anything back with him. He's going to understand the strong thrive and get to enjoy such luxury. If he wants it that bad, he will earn it and prove he's got the guts to take it."

"Boo! Spoilsport!"

WHACK!

"Any other complaints?"

"No!"

"That's what I thought." She said with a smirk.

(Timeskip)

The villagers were going about their day in peace, enjoying the cool air and nice evening doing chores and getting things nice and tidy. Suddenly they began to hear a ruckus from the treeline near the mountain and paled.

"Do you think it's them?"

"Oh god no! It's been years! I thought they just moved on and forgot about us!"

"Quick, everyone run!" Cried one farmer as they heard a large crash and saw a figure smash into a building. This led to them seeing flames appear from inside followed by a dark laugh.

The people ran away in fear as the fires spread through the houses, the figure walking down the street with a cruel grin as they laughed out loud, smashing a cart with a huge battle club that was bigger than them.

"That's right! Run! Run away! This whole town is now my property, you puny humans!" they bellowed, showing they had an open black leather vest with a dead bear skin draped over their back and shoulders, tight brown shorts made of animal skin with bear skinned boots that had the claws still attached. Chain bracelets over their wrists with a wild mane of black hair and donning a mask that had a long horn on the forehead with the mask mainly covering their eyes with slitted eye holes.

"M-Monster! Demon! Someone, anyone, help us!" cried a man who tried to run, only for a pig to get thrown right on top of him as the figure cackled.

"Yes, yes! Scream more!" they bellowed while behind him were several oni who were smiling, but just watching as he broke one hut down from the front.

"So far he's doing pretty good." One muttered quietly.

"Yeah, looks like we raised him well, huh?" Said another before her eyes lit up. "Hey, do you see that coming out of the church? It looks like a knight, maybe even a hero? Let's watch junior kick her ass!"

"Halt foul villain!" proclaimed the knight raising his sword. "You shall terrorize this village no longer!"

"Hahahahaha!" the figure laughed, not even noticing the knight as he smashed another wall in and spotted a scared couple, man and woman, with said woman having noticeable tits. "Well well well, look at what I found here."

"Hey! I said halt foul villain! That means stop you dumb brute!" called the knight running over and swung her sword, only for it to break when the club was put in the way with the figure licking his lips.

"Hey there lady, why don't you come with me? I'll bet I could treat you better than this wimp~" He chuckled lecherously.

"N-No! Leave me alone you monster!"

"S-Stay away from my wife!" The man cried out nervously, unsure how to act if the 'oni' made him act.

"Oh yeah?" the figure chuckled before hearing something hit his club and turned to the knight with annoyance. "Can't you see I'm talking here? Buzz off you pest!"

"Not until you perish, vile creature! Go back to the hell you came from and leave these people be!"

"I came from the mountains fuck head!" The figure reared their fist back and decked the knight in the cheek, knocking them back as they fell down with the helmet rolling off. To the 'oni's' surprise, a mane of red hair cascaded out as the figure groaned. "Wait... you're a chick?!" he spoke, looking down at the face of a young woman who glared at him.

"Of course I am you beast, but that won't stop me from stopping you from pillaging!"

"Huh... well I know one way you could get me to stop~" He said with a grin.

The knight looked confused, only to yelp when she found herself picked up by the waist and saw the grin the 'oni' was giving. "L-Let me down you brute!"

"If you agree to come with me, I'll stop pillaging this town." He said with a grin as she paused.

"...do you promise?" She asked hesitantly. 'He probably wants to eat me, but it would allow everyone else to survive...'

"On my ma's honor." He said with a large grin. 'Alright, ma's gonna be so proud, I got a new wife!'

"...very well." She said with a sigh. "Now do what you will, you beast."

"Gladly." he hoisted her up over his shoulder and started to walk back over to the other onis.

"Aw, he kidnapped his first person!"

"And a knight at that too!"

"S-So... are you going to kill me now or are you going to cook me while I'm still alive?" The knight asked, attempting to sound brave and defiant only to fail.

"Neither, I'm gonna be making you my woman." He said proudly, making the knight pause.

"Y-Y-Y-Your woman?!" She blushed with wide eyes while the 'oni' removed the mask to reveal a young man grinning. "You're human!?"

"Technically, but I'm an oni in spirit!" he declared while reaching the other onis. "Alright aunties, let's get on home."

"Alright, let's go and show your mom your first catch, she's gonna be so proud of you!"

With that all of them hiked back up to the mountain.

(In the cave)

"MA! I'm back!"

"Great! Show me the loot and booty you got from that shit hole village!" Grinned his mother walking over, only to see him drop the knight on the floor, making the oni frown. "Is...Is this woman hiding valuable treasure in her armor?"

"Nope, I captured her to be my woman!" He said proudly.

"...is that it?" She asked as she crossed her arms. "All you did was bring back this bitch?"

"Of course. You're always telling me to find a woman, so I did." he remarked bluntly.

BONK!

"YOU IDIOT!"

"OW!" He shouted as he rubbed his head. "That hurt!"

"I told you to get some actual valuable stuff! Not some two bit knight bitch that's a dime a dozen!"

"Hey! I- ow!" Cried the knight as she was hit on the head by the oni.

"Shut it!" She snapped in annoyance. "You're not blameless either you harlot, distracting my naive and innocent child!"

"Who you calling naive ya old hag!"

"You! You completely forgot to get food, booze, gold and anything else you could steal, and instead you grabbed the first red headed bimbo you found!"

"You're always saying I should look for women! Last time I tried that with one of my aunties and you still got mad!"

"They were too old for you! No son of mine is getting hitched with a woman three times his age! Besides, I bet you could find a nice oni your age and give me some cute grandkids, not some uptight knight bitch!"

"But uptight is another word for virgin!" he grinned pervertedly.

"Yeah, and you forget this bitch is more likely to kill you afterwards than a god damn black widow! She's a knight, she's taught how to kill onis!"

"Well I beat her easy!"

"So?! She just has to wait until after sex, you fall asleep and she slits your throat!"

"...Shit, didn't think about that." He said as the knight paled. "So what do we do with her then?"

"We could sell her." grinned one of the oni.

"We could eat her." Chipped in another.

"What about using her as a punching bag?"

"We could also use her as bait for passing caravans." Said another as the knight's eyes began to water.

'I-I'm going to die here...'

"What about making her our slave?"

"Hmmm, I think I like the sound of that last one, but first strip her, slaves don't need armor."

"I'll do it!" spoke up the man with a lecherous grin.

"No you won't idiot! You still have to be punished for fucking up!" frowned his mother with him glaring.

"I'd like to see ya try old hag!" He laughed only to receive another hit to the head.

"Don't forget who runs this tribe you idiot!" she snapped with him glaring at her. "Until I croak over, I'm still in charge!"

"Don't make me kick your ass!"

"You've never beaten me before, what makes you think you can now?!"

"Because I said so ya hag!"

"You keep this shit up and I'll make YOU the knight bitches slave!"

Both butted heads, making the knight sweatdrop.

"Are these two really parent and child?" She muttered to herself.

"Yep, and this is them on a good night, those two have butted heads ever since he was a toddler." remarked one of the oni's casually. "When he started walking he tried to bite her nose off, but it didn't work out."

"I-I see….what's really going to happen to me?" She whispered nervously.

"Meh, probably gonna be a slave. That boy's a sucker for a pair of tits. The bigger they are, the more he'll do anything to get some. Ironic given he hasn't really found a girl, at least until now." She said before chuckling as the knight paled. "Between you and me you'll be fine, he's all talk, he'll bluster and talk big, but flash him and he'll be putty in your hand."

"I-I can't do that!" She blushed crossing her arms over her chest.

"Trust me, just go along and it'll work...besides, your tune will start to change after a while, you're gonna be living around oni women from now on, we'll teach you how to act." She chuckled which made the knight shiver. "You'll learn how to REALLY live life."

"D-Do I have to?"

"Cute, you think you have a choice."

"I'm keepin' her!"

"Fuck that! We're using her for a stew and you can-" The woman found a fist hitting her under the chin, which just tilted her head back a little due to her son before slowly looking down at him. "Oh it's on now."

"Bring it!" He shouted as they began to fight.

"C'mon, let's go, they'll be at it for the next hour, we need to get you adjusted." One of the onis said as the knight found herself being thrown over one's shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

"Hey! Put me down!"

"Nope, whether you end up in a stew pot or on a leash you don't need that armor anymore."

"Yep, time to strip!"

"Eep!" she let out with wide eyes while the camera pans away from the mountain. It kept panning before focusing on what seemed like a small forest as a figure moved the trees towards a small house.

"Alright, this is it. Oh I can't wait." they chuckled to themselves. They poked their head in through the window before spotting a small basket in the middle of the room. They gave a wide fanged grin before carefully and quietly climbing into the room. The moon shunned in to show a woman with red hair, fox ears poking out of her head, and nine fox tails poking out of the back of her kimono as she grinned and rubbed her hands together eagerly.

"Hehehe, this is going to be hilarious~" She snickered as she crept up towards the basket. She peaked inside to see a baby boy bundled up in a blue blanket.

Said baby was sleeping and oblivious to what was going on.

'Alright, come to mama~' she thought before picking up the basket and speed walked away after climbing out of the room. 'Haha! That was so easy!' She moved through the trees while careful not to snag the basket on any branches.

Soon she reached a large cave and set the basket down there."

"Oh this is gonna be hilarious! I wonder what their faces will look like when they don't see this little guy here." She chuckled as she rubbed her hands together. "Oh! I should go back and see what they do!"

She made a move to leave, but heard a small whimper and looked at the basket to see the baby fussing and opening his eyes.

"Hush now, I just gotta go see your parents flip out and probably scam them afterwards too." she whispered and walked a few steps, only to hear the whimper get louder. "Hey, quiet, hush!" she moved over down to it with a frown. "No making noise, go sleepy."

This of course failed and only made the baby start to cry.

"Oh no no no no!" She said as she began to quickly try and calm him down. "Please don't cry, please, come on!" She begged as she picked up the baby and began to cradle him.

"Waaaaaaahhhhh!"

"Shhh, shhhh!" She tried to shush the baby. "It's ok, everything's ok, no need to cry so loud."

"WAAAAHHHH!" the baby let out which only made her more nervous.

"Oh man, what am I supposed to do?!"She said as she began to panic, her tails flailing around in distress.'Think think think think!' she thought frantically. 'This isn't funny anymore!'

"WAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Please, please shut up! I'll give you anything, anything!" she pleaded. "Are you hungry? Do you want jewelry? Water?"

"Waaaaahhhh!"

She grabbed at her ears and tugged them in frustration while her tails swung around over the basket, catching the baby's eyes. "Oh what have I done?! I've gone overboard!"

"Faaa!" Called the baby as he tried to grab the tails.

"Oh god, I-I have to return him!" she spoke, only to stiffen up when she felt his hand grab the tip of one of her tails.

"Faaa faaa!" He giggled as he gripped it tightly.

"Hey, don't grab my tail, they're sensitive." She said as he tried to suck in one of the tails. She shivered from the feeling while trying to carefully pull it back, but he held on. "Come on, you can't suck on those, I worked hard to make sure they're clean and fluffy!" she huffed, but looked right in his eyes, making her suddenly feel a twinge go through her heart from the innocent expression. "Well... I guess it's ok for now, but this is a one time deal!"

The baby giggled while nibbling on the fluffy tail while she sat down and watched him.

'Hmmm, this little guy is kinda cute.' she thought, slowly smiling herself. 'And he does seem happy right now.'

"Faaa, faaa, maamaa!"

Her eyes widened hearing that and dropped her mouth in shock. "I...no, I'm sorry, I'm not your mama." she spoke while looking away.

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" he repeated, making her bite her lip and her heart clench up.

'No, stay strong, stay strong, o-once the prank is over you have to return him!' she thought while turning her head, making him confused.

"Mama?" he tilted his head in confusion.

"I-I'm not your mama, I'm an evil kitsune!" She spoke up without looking at him, even though it made her chest hurt.

"Mama?"

"N-No, just stop it!" she closed her eyes harder. "I-I'm just a thief! I'm no mother!"

"MAMA!" he cried out, making her grit her teeth and felt her resolve shatter.

"Aaaaah! Yes, yes I am your mama!" she spoke before picking him up, holding him against her face and rubbed her cheek against his, making him giggle while she smiled. "I'm your mama and you can live with me forever and ever!"

The baby cooed while she tried making faces, which amused him even further. "Oh aren't you just the cutest thing ever my little pup, huh? Aren't you? Aren't you?"

"Ahahaha!" he laughed.

"That's right! It's you!" She said with a smile. "Oh aren't you a good baby, huh? Huh?" She rubbed her nose against his. "I'll raise you up and make sure you're just like me, sneaky, deceptive, conniving, all to make sure you can survive. After all, we kitsune practically invented the word. Oh! I better give you a name or else I'll feel stupid." She said as she shook her head before rubbing her chin. "How about...Shiro?"

The baby tilted his head.

"Hmm, or...Alexander?"

"Bah!"

"Ok, not that then….Junior?"

"Oooooh." The baby cooed, making her grin.

"Junior it is!" she beamed before walking deeper into the cave. "Come on Junior, it's time to get you some food, and then it's off to bed. You need plenty of sleep."

(Timeskip)

Now we find ourselves at a shrine, currently being attended to by a few girls with robes on praying in front of it.

"Well well well, what do we have here?"

The girls lost their focus and turned their heads, seeing a young man with combed back brown hair and wearing a red robe with a white sash walking over to them with a smile.

"Oh, I apologize for interrupting you girls. I was just walking by when I noticed you seemed in deep concentration. I take it you've come here for good fortune?"

"Yes, but...who are you?"

"Well, it's not really a big deal. You see, I was recently hired by the person who owns this very land. He hired me to keep an eye around here for any monsters causing trouble. Not to brag, but I was taught on how to handle them." he smiled while rubbing the back of his head.

"We aren't trespassing, the shrine is a public place, is it not?"

"Oh no, I didn't mean to assume that. I was just out patrolling the area and couldn't help but see you beautiful young maidens and thought I'd come over to say hello." He said with a smile as he began to approach them. "I just wanted to make sure you were safe, there have been bandits in the mountain recently."

"Well you see we are here to pray for good luck. We come here at least once a month to pray for our village."

"I see, well would you mind if I accompany you maidens back to your village for safety?" he offered. "I'd hate if anything befell girls such as yourselves who are only doing the right thing."

"Well...if you insist…"

"Good, now which one of you is carrying your valuables, I need to know who to watch the most in case we're attacked by thieves."

"That would be me." spoke the girl in the middle.

"Alright, so then what say we get going? It gets pretty dark around this time of year so it'd be better to get going right away."

"Good call sir." The girl said as she reached her hand into her dress and pulled out a small canvas bag, holding it closely.

'Bingo.' thought the man as they started walking down the path with him in back of them as they stuck close together.

"Sir...thank you for helping us, but we never got your name…"

"Well you see my name is a rather embarrassing one." He said with a chuckle as he began to slowly move towards the girl with the money.

"Please tell us, kind sir."

"Well….it's Junior." He said with a large sigh. "And now, I'm afraid I must go."

"What do you me-" she was cut off as he quickly dashed past them and ran ahead. "Hey!"

"I saw something! It might be a monster! Make a run for it!" he called back in a believable frantic tone.

"EEEEEK! Monster!" They cried as they raced forward, never noticing that their 'guide' was no longer with them.

Junior had ducked under a brush with a wide smirk and glint in his eyes. "Hehe, suckers~" he chuckled as he held up their money pouch. "That one always gets them."

With that he made his way off, whistling while counting the money in the bag before reaching the cave.

"Hey mom! I'm back!"

"Junior! Your back! Did you bring me anything good~?" Called the kitsune as he came upon a well furnished interior of the cave as his mother was in the middle of counting several gold coins.

"Nope, not this time." he sighed while shaking his head as he tossed her an empty money bag. "Came across some poor pickpocket who jumped me. Guess he was more desperate than me to get a quick cash grab. Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow."

"Mmmm, we may need to move, we've picked this place dry since you were a baby." she remarked while he sat down and chuckled in his head.

'Especially with my secret stash. Who says I have to tell her about EVERY coin?'

"Also, Junior. I have some wonderful news, I found a large stash of money, we're rich.' She said with a grin as she pulled out a familiar looking chest.

Junior paled with wide eyes, but put on a fake smile. "Really? That's great. Pray tell, where did you find these easy pickings?"

"Well I found them under your bed, isn't that strange? I mean, I never saw this money before, and we DID agree to share everything, didn't we?" she asked with an innocent smile making him gulp.

"Of course, that's what you taught me."

"I know this, and you know this, but it's strange. Just HOW could this much money end up in our home, under your bed, when we're the only ones who know where this cave is?"

"Truly this world works in mysterious ways mother, now shall we split this up?" He asked as she tilted her head.

"Nope, I have a wonderful idea, how about we keep this sealed up and have you present it to your future wife as a dowry? I mean, all this money we just found, we get the best of both worlds, we give a good dowry AND we don't have to spend any of our money that we collected and shared~"

"We can't!" He spoke up quickly with a gulp. "I mean, there's no real reason to assume I'd get married in the future. Why waste all that good money on a woman that doesn't exist? I'd say we best split it so we both know it'll go to good use. I'll even help find a new hiding spot."

"Well you may be right...EXCEPT!" She said, a wide grin on her face as he paled. "I may have a solution, my friend in the next valley over has a wonderful daughter your age, how about you two meet up and you can give her the dowry and we move there, that way we have a new place to scam people, the money is used, you get a wife AND I get grandchildren."

'No! No no no! I don't wanna share my savings with a random stranger!' He thought while smiling. "Mom, let's be real. I'm not much of a dating person. Why I'll bet me and this girl would be at each other's throats by the end of the day."

"You say this, but did I mention the girl is Nikki~?" She called, making him freeze. "In fact, I took the liberty of reaching out to them to see if she would be interested in meeting up with you, they should be here soon~"

'AHHHH!' He screamed as his mother turned to carry the chest before he ran over and grabbed at her ankles. "Mom wait! I'm sorry! It was all mine! I've been saving in secret!"

"What?" She looked at him in surprise. "You mean you've been LYING to me?"

"I was just saving for the future! I figured if you didn't know about ALL the money, it wouldn't be an issue."

"Junior I am shocked, SHOCKED you would do this!" She frowned as he got on his knees.

"I'm sorry mom! I'm sorry! Please! I'll never lie again! Just please don't put all that money on a dowry! I'm not ready to get married! I don't wanna trust some girl with all the money I've worked hard on taking!" He cried as she shook her head.

"Son, I know, and I understand that you were saving money, in all my years I never imagined you would hide money from me…" She started as she let out a sigh. "AND BE SO STUPID ABOUT DOING IT!"

"...huh?"

"Really, you got sloppy Junior! I knew about it from day one, and before you were careful, you put away money we split, but then you got greedy! Do you think I wouldn't notice that you haven't been having any luck getting money these past few months yet somehow in the villages I constantly hear people talk about the stranger robbing them?!"

He blinked and looked away as she crouched down. "So…"

"I've known this whole time son. Really, you've got a long way to go before tricking your own mother."

"Sorry." He poked his fingers together before panicking. "I swear I won't do it again! Just don't let Nikki get me!"

"Well….I MIGHT be persuaded to change my mind….provided you give up the money you have hiding on yourself." She smirked.

"Fine, fine, just take it!" he said as he quickly grabbed the hidden pouch on his waist and handed it over.

"Good boy." she nodded as she took it. "But there's one more thing to remember."

"What?"

"Knowing when your own mother is lying." She smirked, making him blink. "I got you~"

"W….What?"

"Come on, did you REALLY think I was going to let all this money slip through my grasp?" She chuckled. "Really, I taught you everything you know, but not everything I know~"

"You mean….you tricked me into confessing?"

"Of course, AND I tricked you into giving me all your money willingly~"

He stared at his mother's wide grin before slumping down. "I can't believe I messed up like that….."

"Don't worry, you'll learn, but you're still way too green. Besides, I wouldn't want my future grandkids being able to out fox their own father." She patted his head. "After all, my little pup needs to work his way up on scamming a rich family of their money first before getting his own family started."

"Ugh, so it was all fake, the you being innocent, telling me Nikki was coming, all of it?"

"Oh no, I didn't lie about that, only that she was coming for a dowry~"

"What?! But you just said you were keeping that!"

"I said I was lying~" She chuckled. "She should be here any second now~"

"Oh no! I have to hide!" he jumped to his feet. "There's no way-"

"JUNIOR!"

"Nooooo!" He cried as the camera panned away to a different forest, this one showing a small cave where two figures were emerging.

"Here we go sweetie, this is the outside world~" Spoke a blue slime that was of medium height, the other figure being a short brown haired child with blue overalls on and no shoes.

"Wow, it's amazing out here!" The boy looked around in awe. "It's so...big!"

"Yes, the world is large and fun, and nothing can hurt you." Smiled his mother. "Just go out and touch something."

"Ok!" He said as he moved over towards a nearby rose bush beside the cave entrance and reached out. "Pretty... ow!"

"Huh? What is it?" She asked as she dashed towards him in confusion.

"The bush hurt me!" he spoke pulling his hand back.

"Wait... you got hurt?" she spoke confused before moving over and saw him hold his finger where she saw some blood leak out and went wide eyed. "But...that shouldn't be possible."

"I-It hurts momma!" he let out with a painful whimper.

"B-no, I don't get it! It doesn't hurt me!" She said as she grabbed the bush. Her hands molded over the thorns. "See? Nothing!"

"B-But it hurt me! And I can't do that!" He spoke while tearing up.

"Shhh, shh, it's ok honey, I don't know-" she started before freezing. "You aren't a slime... you can get hurt!"

He sniffled as she quickly picked him up.

"Quick! Back into home!" She cried as she began to move back into the cave.

"What? Why, we just left!" he let out in surprise.

"You could get hurt from something else of course!" She cried out in fear.

"But-"

"No buts!"

"Wait, no, I wanna explore!" he cried out trying to slip out from her arms, which was easier than expected.

"No! You can't! You'll get hurt!" she spoke as he dropped on the ground, landing on a small rock.

"Ow." he let out, rubbing the spot it hit.

"Ah! I knew it!" She cried out in horror. "This world is a nightmare!"

"But momma."

"A NIGHTMARE!" she cried out before they went back in with her moving the boulder back in place. "We're staying in here, where it's nice and safe, where you can't get hurt."

"But Momma." he pouted. "I wanna see the world."

"The world is horrible, terrible! You can only stay in the hole!" she spoke firmly before smiling. "Tell you what, I'll make that fruit salad you love so much tonight for dessert after dinner."

"No, I don't want fruit salad, I wanna go outside!" he huffed while stamping his foot. "All I did was poke a thorn and land on a rock, but other than that I'm ok."

"But it could have been so much worse! What if someone tried to cut your head off with a sword?!" she paled. "Or tried to burn you? Or crush you? Slimes are nearly invincible, but you aren't!"

"Momma, I'll be fine, really."

"No, you're not to go outside, and that's final."

"No!" he stamped his feet. "I wanna go outside now! Now now now now!"

"No! Quiet! This is for your own good!"

"But-"

"Your own good!" She spoke firmly before slinking off.

"...no." he said as he looked back at the entrance. "It isn't...sorry momma, but I'm going!"

"No! Young man you are not going out and that's final!"

"...I'm sorry!" He cried out as he took off running. He tried to push against the rock as his mother moved over and tried pulling him back. "No! I wanna go outside!"

"I don't want you to get hurt!" she frowned. "If you keep this up, I'll ground you."

"Then I'll dig my way to the surface from my room!"

"Don't think I won't have you sleep in my room young man. I did it when you were a baby, and I'll do it again."

"Then I'll dig from there, I will reach the surface!" he declared firmly as she sighed. "And I won't stop until I do!"

"Honey, no, I just want you to be safe."

"Momma, I can't spend the rest of my life hiding underground!"

She sighed at his stubborn nature as the camera panned out of the cave. It focused on a figure pacing back and forth in a dark forest, except she looked strange. That being that she had eight large spider legs and a thorax, and was under a large web with what looked like a basket in the center of it.

"Oh where is she, where is she, where is she?" She muttered as she looked around, trying to find her sister. "She should have been here by-"

"Hello."

"Ali! Finally!" she turned around and saw a woman her height with a more brownish thorax and legs with an expressionless face, and her white hair done up in a bun. "I thought you were never going to show."

"I promised I would come and I have." she crossed her arms. "Now tell me what the emergency is."

"I need diapers!"

"...what?"

"Please, I need help! I just became a mom!"

"...you? A mom?"

"Yes! I found this kid and then I had to keep him and now I have to raise him!"

"Oh, and here I thought you found a man. Too soon to hope." remarked her sister bluntly.

"Hey! I can have any man I want!"

"Yet you are still single and alone."

"Not anymore! I'm a single mom!"

"When you said you needed help I thought you were being chased down to be killed for your webbing, again."

"Nooo, I need help raising him!" she cried out. "If I don't get help I'll panic and won't know what to do, and then he'll wander off and get hurt!"

"Fine, I will take him."

"Huh?"

"I said I will take him, isn't that why you brought me here, to dump him on me?"

"No!"

"Well I'll be taking him anyway, obviously you can't handle raising him." she remarked walking past her sister who stared at her with a slack jaw. "Where is he?"

"I-in my we- no! You can't have him!"

'If you're freaking out this much, then it only makes sense if I raise him then."

"I-I just need help! You can't have him!" she spoke following her with her sister looking around.

"I don't think you are capable of handling this sort of responsibility."

"Can to!"

"You called me because you couldn't, I'm doing you a favor." she remarked as she climbed up the wall and up the web before spotting a cradle made of it. "There he is, come to your new mama." she smiled when she saw his hands sticking out with her reaching up with her sister paling.

"No, no! Not my baby!"

"He isn't yours anymore. I'm saving him." She picked the cradle up and looked inside with the small boy looking at her with confusion. "He is adorable, I will give him a proper home." She reached in to wiggle her finger near his face.

"No you can't! He's your nephew!"

"Well now he's my son."

"No!"

"It is ok, I will buy you a puppy for you to have in place of him."

Her sister slowly turned red with anger while clenching her hands. "No...no...NO!" She yelled before she let out some webbing and threw it, wrapping it around her sister with ease.

"What are you doing?!"

"Saving MY baby!"

"The one I'm holding now?! I could fall!" She yelled before getting tugged back and dropped the cradle, which fell, and miracuously landed on the web with the baby giggling and clapping his hands.

"Don't underestimate me on my own web!"

"You got lucky!" Growled her sister before finding herself rotated around and found herself tangled up in a cocoon. "You need all the help you can get, you cannot raise a child!"

"Yes I can!" She huffed before moving up the web to look inside the cradle with the baby smiling. "Are you ok? I didn't scare you did I?"

"Mablah!"

"Aw, he said mommy~"

"Apparently you also need help with listening." remarked her sister in a dull tone as she used her legs to rip off the webbing around herself.

"Leave sister, I don't need you if you're going to insist on stealing my son."

"Fine, if you're so insistent, I'll take my leave, but if you can't handle the pressure just give me a call and I'll take care of the little guy instead."

"Not happening!"

(Timeskip)

"Alfie? Oh Alfie~"

"Over here mom!"

The Arachne moved across the web to a smaller section where a young man with black hair and wearing a bandanna with a white toga was currently moving several rocks over to the side.

"Whatcha need?"

"Well, I know you're just visiting, but I was hoping I could come back with you when you leave, I haven't seen your new web yet!"

"Uh, that's nice and all mom, but…." He trailed off looking to the side. "I don't have one."

"...huh?" She asked, pausing in confusion.

"I don't have one mom. I'm building a house instead."

"A house?! WHY?! You know how to make an amazing web, I've seen it!" she spoke with shock while he sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"I know mom, but...I wanna try sleeping on something that isn't made of web. I wanna try and sleep in a bed." He tried to explain as his mom went slack jawed. "I mean, making webs from your silk only works for so long."

"B-B-But you love your web hammock! I-I can make you a new one!" she spoke up quickly and started to let out some webbing and moved up the wall. "Just give me a minute."

"No, I don't want a hammock, I want to sleep in a bed, I'm already building the frame and I'm paying a nearby weresheep to make the mattress." He said as she let out a gasp and then a groan.

"Oh come on, that's just wasting money on something your mom can make for free." She groaned.

"Well maybe I'm tired of sleeping in webs, I wanna try something new." He said as he rolled his eyes.

"But the bed is so firm and limiting. With webs you're lying on something light, strong, and if you ever wanna jump up and bounce around, you don't have to worry about falling on it and breaking your bones." She argued.

"Yeah, but in a house I don't have to worry about a strong breeze throwing me out of a tree. Or a lot of bugs getting stuck and laying right beside my face when I wake up. Besides, I'm not cut out to build webs." he said as she gasped, a scandalized look on her face.

"You take that back right now mister!" She growled. "I've seen you work on your webs and they are things of art!"

"Mom, let's face it. I wasn't built to make webs on my own. I'm not like you." He said with a sigh as he gestured to her legs.

"I know, but you could be! I-I could get out that cute little spider costume you wore when you were younger with the little six extra arms a-"

"Mom!" he frowned at her firmly. "We need to face facts. I need to live in a real house, with a bed, not on a web."

"No, you don't! You lived fine on the web for many, many years, so we know that's not true!"

"Mom! I'm moving into my own house after I'm done building it and that's that!"

"Noooo! Don't leave my itsy bitsy spider!" She cried before dropping down next to him and pulled him into a tight hug against her chest.

"Mom! Let go of me!" he let out, which came out a little muffled.

"Nooooooooo!" she cried out. "My son is starting to rebel against his roots! Next thing you'll say is you want to eat meat entirely."

"Well drinking the juices DOES get a bit-" He started sheepishly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She cried out in horror. "Why have you betrayed me so?!"

"Mom, it's not that bad, I just want to try something new." he tried to explain while looking up at her. "Just because I won't be making webs or living in caves isn't the end of the world. It's just me trying something different. Besides, other humans do it."

"But you're not a normal human, you're my Alfie!"

"Who looks and walks like a human." he bluntly remarked while looking away. "I'm sorry mom, this is happening, it's just nature."

"Not to me!" she started bawling all of her eyes out while hugging him tightly. "Waaaaaah! I'm not ready for you to grow up like this!"

"Mom! Please, you're embarrassing me!" he let out while wiggling before slipping from her grip with a sigh. "Look, it may seem wrong, but it's the truth. I've grown up, I'm doing things differently, but that doesn't make me any less of a son. I mean I wouldn't mind if you came by for a visit, it'd definitely be warmer than sleeping in a cold and damp cave."

"I-It's fine in here though!" She sniffed. "W-What's next, you're going to tell me you're not gonna marry a nice arachne girl?!"

"Uh…." he looked away while trying to whistle innocently making her turn completely white and seemingly crack like she was made of stone. "Well…."

"Alfie….why?" She got out, unable to properly form words.

"Well ya see, I kinda already got in a relationship with a nice girl...and her sisters."

"Wha-who?!" She cried out in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I knew as soon as you found out their species, you'd make a huge deal, like what you've been doing."

"Why, what are they? Lamia? Minotaur? Harpy?! Oh it better not be a Vampire!"

"No! Oh Demon Lord no!" he shivered. "Ya see, the girls are actually….Beelzebubs."

"...you know, I think I would have preferred a vampire."

"See?! I knew as soon as you saw them you'd be tying them up and ready to have an early supper!"

"That is completely…..true." she looked away.

"Mom, I know this is a lot to accept, but it's my life and I'm gonna do it my way." He spoke firmly.

"UGH! Fine...how 'bout you invite your...friends, over for dinner later?"

"Mom, no, if I do you'll make THEM dinner."

"I have a good reason!"

"Well then, if that's how you wanna play, I guess I'll let them know we can't come visit." he shrugged and turned away. "We'll go off, start our big family, with the girls unable to ever see their grandma."

"Wait, what?! Y-You can't do this to me, I have to see my grandbabies!"

"Not if you're gonna eat them!" he frowned. "Either you accept my choices in life, or this will be the last time we ever speak!"

"I...but…..FINE!" She groaned. "I won't eat them...you can live in a house...is there any chance I can introduce you to a nice Arachne too? It sounds like you're fine with multiple partners?"

"The girls are easy because they're family, but the day I run into an Arachne who is ok with sharing and WON'T try to eat them is the day the Demon Lord herself decrees a law that makes it easier for a human man to NOT get jumped by themselves."

"Ugh, fine…" She sighed in disappointment. 'At least he'll be happy…'

"And if you and the girls really get along, maybe they'd be open to the idea of you living with us. You have to admit, this cave is starting to get old and chilly."

"Maybe...but I do love my web." She said with a sigh.

"You could always make a fresh new one around the house. You could use it to keep the girls safe and teach them how not to get stuck."

"Fine…" She said with a sigh. "I'll think about it."

"Thanks mom." he smiled before hugging her.

"No problem honey." She said with a smile as she hugged him back.