List of oneshots part 4
chapter 62
What if Ruby was trained as an assassin Huntress by Kali Belladonna instead of Qrow?
Series: RWBY
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-Remnant, Sanus, Patch-
Within the dark yet wholesome forests of this small island, the sounds of birds could be heard as a figure walked down the dirt road, seemingly taking in the sights like a tourist.
This figure was a tall pale skinned woman with short black hair, yellow eyes, large black cat ears with white fur on the sides sporting two gold piercings on the right ear and one on the left ear, a G cup chest and large ass, wearing a black shrug sporting a long sleeve on the right arm and a short sleeve on the left arm, a gold-leaf trim adorning the shrug's front opening, a black hakama, long black arm warmers that went to the middle finger, a purple band on the top of the left warmer, gold bangles on the left wrist, a black and gold sash that went behind her sporting a gold flower-shaped buckle at the end, white tabi socks, black sandals, and currently holding a paper map in her hands.
This was Kali Belladonna, wife of Ghira Belladonna and right now, she was on vacation for a few days, due to wanting to let her husband take care of her daughter Blake for a little bit. However...she was lost.
She had decided to take a little walk through the forest for a change of pace, not realizing how far away she had been going. Especially when she was unfamiliar with the land itself.
"Mmmm. Was it left or right near the big tree?" she muttered while looking up from her map and saw the rows of trees in the distance. "But which one?" 'I really should've asked where the nearest hotel was again. Or better yet, asked if there was a bed and breakfast on this island.'
GROWL~
Kali groaned as her stomach growled from a lack of breakfast, having come to the island just this morning by boat. "I'll take a guess and go left."
As she turned left, she noticed that the road began to go uphill near the side of a grass covered hilltop, making her sigh.
"Well...more walking."
"ROAR!"
Her ears perked up as she heard the distinct cry of a Grimm somewhere on top of the hill.
'Ursa? No, Ursai.' she thought with confusion, noting that she didn't even give off a negative emotion during her walk, not even when she was considering turning back. 'Why are they so close?'
"Get away!" yelled out a voice, sounding like a young girl, from the top of the hill.
Kali's eyes widened as she quickly ran up the hill and saw three Ursai moving towards two figures.
One was a small fair skinned young girl with long golden blonde hair going to her shoulder blades, a small cowlick on the top of her head, lilac eyes, wearing a yellow top, brown overalls with silver buttons, a long orange scarf and yellow shoes, and the other, in a red wagon, was a small fair skinned young girl with short black hair sporting red tips, silver eyes, and wearing a dark red sleeveless hoodie, a red cape, a white top, a black skirt and black shoes, who was sleeping as the Grimm began to growl with hunger.
"Oh no!"
"ROAR!"
"Stay back!" the blonde girl yelled while shaking like a leaf, her eyes seemingly glowing red as the faunus panicked a little but collected her wits.
Kali looked around before seeing a long tree branch and grabbed it. 'It might not be a blade, but this will have to do.'
One of the Ursa moved closer before-
SQUISH!
It got stabbed in the back of the neck by Kali, who jumped on its back and plunged the stick right through the soft neck, and dissipated into ash as the other five quickly moved back in surprise.
"Slow." Kali muttered to herself while the blonde girl went wide eyed in surprise. "Too slow." 'I really need to get back in shape.'
The girl's eyes went back to normal, stunned and caught off guard before another Ursa charged and swiped at Kali.
The faunus narrowed her eyes before jumping to the side and stabbed it right through the left eye, killing it as two more Ursai attempted to use their jaws to crush her body.
"ROAR!"
STAB!
SQUISH!
Which led to the same result, a stick jabbed right through their protective armored chests into their hearts, as the young girl in the wagon yawned and opened her eyes.
"Mmmm...Yang?" she muttered out loud, catching the attention of the last Ursa and causing it to rush towards the girl.
"No! Ruby!"
"ROAR!"
The girl's eyes widened as the Ursa opened its mouth to consume her.
SQUISH!
Only for a stick to puncture the back of it's skull, paralyzing it as Kali quickly jumped up and kicked the stick through the skull and right out of the jaw, killing it instantly as she landed right in front of the girl.
'That was a rush.' she thought before seeing Ruby's shocked yet awestruck expression and realized her mistake. 'Oh no, I just traumatized a child with my skills! No no no! Don't cry-'
"Th..a...t...was...AMAZING!" she let out, raising her hands up, and surprising Kali while Yang hugged the woman by the leg.
"Thank you!"
"Um...you're not scared...or traumatized?"
"Tramawhat?" asked the silver eyed girl in confusion.
Kali sighed. "Nevermind, but why were you out in the middle of the forest?"
"We're looking for someone." the blonde girl said before sniffling. "A-And I...almost lost Ruby!"
The faunus patted the blonde's head with her left arm while making sure there were no Grimm in the area. "It's alright dear, everything is going to be alright."
"Are you a huntress?" asked the younger girl while Kali blinked.
"No, not exactly." she said sheepishly.
"Then are you a superhero!?"
"No, I'm not."
"Then...a superhuntress?"
Kali sighed. "No. I'm just a faunus from Menagerie, one that learned to survive."
"...so an assassin?" asked the blonde, surprising Kali a little.
"And how do you know about assassins?"
"Dad dealt with them in the past, same with mom and...mother."
'Ah, a huntsmen team. Rare but that does make sense.' she thought as the silver-eyed girl looked at her with stars in her eyes.
"You are so COOL! Please teach me Miss Kitty!"
"...what?" Kali said in disbelief.
"Please train me! I want to be an assissisisisisin!" she stuttered before lightly blushing. "I mean assisi-ah! Ass huntress! Please let me be an ass huntress!"
'This is...unexpected.' Kali thought while her ears drooped downwards. 'Someone so young wanting to kill. I know my family was into that occupation but I can't just teach children that!'
"Please?" the girl asked with a cute pout.
"I'm sorry, but I can't. Now I need to get you two back to your daddy before more Grimm comes snooping around."
"Please?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not an assassin. Not anymore." she sighed before noticing a crow flying towards her.
POOF!
And turned into a very familiar figure to the faunus just a few feet away in a puff of smoke.
"Wait...Qrow Branwen?" 'What's a famous hunter doing here?'
"Well I'll be, Kali Belladonna." He said while getting a good look of the faunus, all the while Yang jumped onto his right leg and the silver eyes jumped on his left leg. "Haven't seen you around in ages."
"Uncle Qrow, you know her?" asked Yang while Kali blinked in surprise.
'Uncle...they are related to him?'
"Yep, but as rivals." he said calmly.
"One sided rivals." Kali clarified.
"Yeah yeah." he waved off. "And you weren't the Goddess of Slaughter, Mistral's top assassin."
Kali facepalmed. "Again, I'm Menagerie's top assassin, my family were the ones that Mistral used before the Great War, not me."
"Blame me for not reading up on your history, given you did try to cut my arms off."
"Mission and you were the one trying to stab me, with a scythe no less."
"Uncle Qrow?" Ruby said while looking up at the man. "Can Miss Kitty train me? I want to be an ass huntress!"
"Uh..."
"I didn't use that word, I don't know how she knows that."
"Yeah, blame that one on me." Qrow sweatdropped. "But why are you here exactly?"
"I'm on vacation for a few days here and I might have used-"
"She killed so many Grimm!" Ruby said quickly. "With a stick!"
"And..." Yang said sadly while looking very guilty. "I really made a mess."
"Yes you did." Qrow frowned. "Tai's worried sick about both of you."
She looked at the ground as Kali shook her head.
'At least they're safe now. I bette-'
"Uncle Qrow?" Ruby said with a pout. "Can Miss Kitty stay with us? Please?"
"I don-"
GROWL!
The hunter and his nieces looked at Kali, her ears drooped a little due to embarassment, before snickering a little, lightening the mood significantly.
"Uh...I might have started to get hungry."
"Gee, ya think?" Qrow deadpanned while Kali stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh real mature."
"Says the one that hits on every woman in Remnant."
"Uncle Qrow! For shame!" Both Yang and Ruby yelled. "Don't hit girls!"
"That's not-ugh!" he groaned while using his scythe to pick the wagon up by the handle and walked away. "Come along Belladonna. The house is this way."
"Miss Kitty is going to teach me to be an ass huntress!" Ruby cried out with joy as Kali sweatdropped.
'I hope her father gets that fixed.' Kali thought before following the trio, not realizing that she would change the fate of Remnant...for better or for worse.
(Some years later)
-Sanus, Vale, Beacon Academy-
It was a nice sunny day as Weiss Schnee walked down the courtyard, getting ready for her time at Beacon, to show how far she could make it as a huntress.
And to show her father she wasn't just some pampered girl.
'Now, let's see who will become my partner. I heard about the famous Pyrrha Nikos attending Beacon...I must be her partner.' she thought while not seeing a small black bomb near her left foot. 'Maybe then I can have som-'
BOOOOM!
And cue the once white clothed girl getting covered in red and black confetti and paint balls as she looked kinda pissed off.
"..."
"Sorry about that." said a voice next to the girl, making her jump as the voice was revealed to have come from a short fair skinned young girl with long reddish black hair going down to her elbows that sported pale red tips, silver eyes, a C cup chest and wide ass, three golden dot shaped piercings on her left earlobe, wearing a red long sleeved shrug with silver rose shaped cuffs on each sleeve that covered her arms and went down to her feet, a silver rose trimmed opening around her top, a small red corset around the waist with silver metallic threads, thick black arm warmer like gauntlets with a single gold opening near the middle fingers, silver bangles on the left and right sleeve, a black hakama, a deep red and black sash around her waist that hung down her left knee sporting a silver rose shaped buckle at the end, white tabi socks, and red metallic high heeled sandals with thick black cylinder shaped wedges, with a chuckle. "I'm rather clumsy when it comes to bombs. And the paint is safe to wash."
"YOU!" she fumed while glaring at the girl. "Do you have ANY idea how hard paint is to get out?! Especially for clothes like these!?"
"Um...no?"
"Well it takes a lot of soap!"
"I see." she said before extending her left hand out. "Names Ruby, want to be my friend?"
CRASH!
And cue several daggers, grenades and Dust infused bombs landing on the ground right near Weiss' feet.
"..." Ruby chuckled nervously before putting the weapons back in her sleeves. "My bad, still getting used to concealing small things in my sleeves."
"And why are you even doing it in the first place?"
"Well I'm going to be an assassin huntress, duh." Ruby said like it was the most normal thing in the world, causing Weiss to pale due to having run-ins with assassins in the past, all wanting her head. "So...friends?"
"Forget it! Stay away!" she spoke before stamping off while her helpers followed with her cases.
"What? The paints not that bad, you know!" Ruby called out while appearing right next to Weiss in a flurry of rose petals. "It's non toxic!"
"Ah!"
"Come on, just be friends with me." she huffed while continuously appearing next to Weiss, seemily really wanting to be friends with the heiress. "I can show you off to Blake and...are you single?"
'Just ignore her.' She thought before seeing a girl with a black bow walking next to Ruby and shook her head.
"Ruby, why didn't you stay with your sister?"
"Huh? Blake? Why are you here?" she asked while Weiss groaned, only to freeze in place in shock by the silver eye's next words. "Weren't you supposed to be with the White Fang? Ooh, did Adam finally see the light and kiss you?"
"We broke up." Blake deadpanned, realizing her secret was out...again. "And I'm not in the White Fang."
"Ah...so can I have your mask then?"
"No."
"Oh com-"
"WHAT!?" Weiss yelled in shock, pointing her finger at Blake. "You're part of the White Fang?!"
"Formerly." Blake deadpanned. "I just cut ties with them just weeks ago."
"And she's already certified." Ruby said while Blake glared at her. "What? I'm just saying."
"Still, I was trying to keep that under wraps."
"Why? Miss Kali isn't a fan of that line of thinking."
"Please leave my mother's habits out of this."
Ruby huffed before smiling. "Say Blake, I think I found your new soul mate."
"Ruby." she groaned while Weiss was in shock still and didn't realize the blonde woman right behind her.
"Hey Rubes. Where di-Blakey!" Yang smiled while rushing over and hugged the black haired girl, causing her bow to loosen itself to reveal a pair of kitty ears. "How's my sorta sister doing?"
"In...pain...can't...breath...!" Blake gasped out, looking like she was gonna break in half while Weiss threw her hands up.
"How in the world did you get here?! In Beacon?!"
"I asked the headmaster and he approved." Blake said while breathing heavily.
"I walked here." Yang joked, much to Weiss' frustration.
"And I ran here." Ruby smiled.
"I didn't ask you two! And how do you even know each other!?"
"Oh that." Ruby smiled. "Childhood friends."
"Well more like my little sister is Blakey's childhood friend." Yang said with a shrug. "Names Yang by the way."
Weiss groaned as she saw Yang wink at her. 'This is insane.'
"So who's the girl with the fair white hair, Rubes?"
"That's Weiss Schnee." Blake said with a sigh. "Normally I would be offended by her presence but...given Ruby would be upset about it. I hold my judgement."
"Good." Ruby smiled before pointing to Weiss. "Because she might be your new-"
"Ruby." Blake glared as Weiss groaned.
"Just what's going on!?" she yelled while pointing at the three of them. "How can you three be childhood friends?! You're...You're...I don't know what you three are!"
"Sisters." Ruby smiled before seeing Blake's deadpan face. "Well sorta. It's not official and Miss Kali isn't related to me, but we are still family. Miss Kali even taught me how to be an assassin!"
" ...you're all crazy! I'm leaving!" Weiss yelled before seeing Ruby right next to her, who held her by the right arm with a smile. "Hey!"
"Want to hear the story?"
"N-"
"Ok! It all started when I was a kid." she smiled while Blake groaned at her hyperactivity.
(Flashback)
-Menagerie, Kuo Kuana-
Ruby looked in awe as she walked next to Kali, having brought her here for some training, which only happened because Kali saw the girl's natural stubbornness to be an 'ass huntress', for she saw numerous faunus all around her doing normal everyday activities.
"Remember to stay close to me Ruby, I don't want you getting lost."
"Ok Miss Kitty."
"Call me Miss Kali."
"Ok." she smiled while ignorantly ignoring the glares from the other faunus, all of whom hate humans for very old grudges.
But as they made it over a hill, Ruby noticed a small butterfly near one of the alleyways as, against her better judgement, followed the butterfly into said alleyway and away from the only person she knew.
(A few moments later)
Ruby blinked as she looked around, lost, confused and hungry, as the faunus walked around her doing their normal routines.
"Fish! Get your fresh fish here!"
"Rare Dust for sale, once in a lifetime chance!"
GROWL~!
"I'm hungry." Ruby muttered out loud while tugging at her cape for comfort. "I wonder if there's any candy around here."
As she nervously walked through the crowd of faunus, she noticed a group of faunus, all wearing white masks, right near a town square, preaching about something she didn't understand. But when she got closer, she saw a small fair skinned young girl with short neck length wavy black hair, amber eyes, tiny black triangular cat ears on the top of her head, wearing a light purple sleeveless shirt, a black scarf, a bandage on her right shoulder, black shorts, and black boots, in the crowd right next to her, cheering about something.
"White Fang forever!"
"White Fang forever!"
'That looks fun.' Ruby said before joining the crowd, but said something entirely different that made them stop and question this odd game of 'telephone'. "White Sugar Cookies forever! White Sugar Cookies forever!"
Slowly the people turned to her, confused and befuddled, slowly noticing she was human.
"What did she say?"
"White Sugar Cookies." one faunus with hyena ears said in bewilderment, as Ruby didn't seem to notice their lack of chanting.
"White Sugar Cookies forever! White Sugar Cookies forever!"
"Whose kid is that?"
"Beats me, is she lost or something?"
"Yeah and wait...why is a human here?" one faunus asked in realization, making them slowly grow angry for obvious reasons. "This is Menagerie, a faunus nation."
"I'll bet her parents snuck in here as spies!"
"White Sugar-" Ruby said before getting picked up by a White Fang member by the hood. "Huh? Why did you stop? It was starting to be fun."
"Who are you and what are you doing in OUR home?"
"Um...Ruby Rose." she said innocently. "And Miss Kali brought me here to become an ass huntress!"
"...a what?"
"An ass huntress! Kill people with a stick." She smiled as the black haired girl blinked in confusion.
"You mean my mom?"
"Yes! And you have cute ears!" Ruby gushed while the other faunus looked at her with suspicion.
"Why would Kali Belladonna want anything to do with some random human kid?"
"No idea, but she really has no idea what she's talking about. What even is an ass huntress?"
"No idea, but I say we get rid of her before she corrupts the kids."
"Too late." one faunus said while pointing to the black haired girl. "She's with Kali's daughter."
"Damn it!"
"So." Ruby said innocently. "Can I leave mister doggy? I'm hungry and Miss Kali might be worried about me."
"Hey! I'm not a dog!" He frowned. "I'm a hyena!"
"...eh?"
"I'm more related to cats than dogs!"
"Oh...ok Mister Kitty." She smiled with innocent joy, making the faunus a little pissed off.
"Don't look down on me!"
"But we are up-"
"SHUT UP!" he snapped, making her flinch and whimper. "Boys, get rid of her now!"
"Yes sir!"
"Wait, don't!" the young cat faunus said in shock. "If father finds ou-"
"He won't. Boys, get rid of the witness."
"On it." one said before grabbing the girl by the shirt.
"Hey!"
However, what they failed to realize was that Kali Belladonna, having looked for her apprentice, walked by with Ghira, who was looking for his daughter, and, well, heard some fellow faunus attempting to drag the two girls away like common trash.
"You miserable pieces of FILTH!" Ghira growled, getting their attention and quickly froze in place. "How dare you attempt such a thing to MY daughter!"
"And my apprentice." Kali frowned, her glare making many of the faunus run for cover as the White Fang members began to regret their life actions.
'Oh shit!' the hyena faunus thought as he dropped Ruby and allowed her to run to Kali's side, hiding right behind her left leg. "O-O-Oh...Chieftain Belladonna...w-w-what a-"
"QUIET! Hearing you think it's a good idea to harm my own daughter is enough to forfeit your own lives."
"W-What!? B-"
"However, if you leave Menagerie, right now, I might let you live, without the use of your limbs." he said while extending his nails out. "I give you ten seconds."
"Five seconds." Kali said with narrowed eyes. "Or I might rip out your tongue and make you eat it. Not in front of my daughter though, she's not ready for that yet."
"Ahhh! Please! It was a mistake! Mercy!" He cried out while the other White Fang never quickly let Blake down, patted her head, and ran like the devil away from his 'friend'. "Ah! Don't leave me you tra-"
"Four seconds."
"Come here Blake." Kali said while beckoning the girl towards her. "Cover your eyes you two, Ghira is going to enter papa panther mode."
Both children did as they were told as the hyena faunus paled in terror.
"Please forgive-"
"One second."
"Ahhh!" he screamed while turning and started running away in terror.
Ruby blinked before her eyes were covered by Kali's right hand, as the sounds of bones breaking and muscles ripping could be heard in the background. "Huh? What's going on Miss Kali?"
"It's better you don't know sweetie." She said while Ruby pouted. "Now let's get you two back home, does steamed tuna sound good to you?"
"Yes/Ew!" Blake and Ruby said at once, only to turn to each other in shock and disbelief.
"Alright, I can whip something else up if tuna doesn't sound good."
"No mother, tuna is fine."
"No it's not! Fish smell weird!"
"No they don't."
"Yes they do!"
"No they don't."
"Yuh uh."
"Nuh uh."
Kali sighed as the two children kept on their semi amusing argument, the sounds of screams being heard in the background along with the sound of a neck snapping.
(End of Flashback)
"And that's how we met." Ruby smiled as right now her new team, Team WRYB, were busy getting themselves set up in their new room, the 'assassin huntress' having talked about her origins to Weiss during their time in the Emerald Forest...and Weiss was starting to lose her patience. "And we still talk about what's better, fish or cookies. Its-"
"I GET IT!"
"Calm down." Blake sighed while reading a book on the top bunk, Yang deciding to sleep under her. "She might be talkative, but it's just a small story."
"She told the SAME story for hours!"
"Trust me, she can tell month long stories."
"Oh! Wanna hear the story about how I came up with my weapons?"
"NO!" Weiss yelled while currently on the top bunk. "I do not want to know!"
"Aw, but it was so cool." she pouted while Yang sighed. "Plus they are unconventional."
"..." Weiss groaned, knowing she's going to regret it. "What are these unconventional weapons?"
Ruby grinned while pointing to her shoes. "These babies are Dust bullets Firing High Heeled Shoes or DHHS, they can fire a lot of Dust and oh my gods, they let me fly for short periods of time!"
"That's...actually interesting."
"Oh and I have these too." She said while showing off her gauntlets, firing several knives into the walls before yanking them back into the gauntlets by invisible strings. "These are Rapid Fire Knife Gauntlets or RFKGs, they can fire knives like bullets and with some strings, I can pull them back and use them like harpoons. And they are so cool when fired from gloves, like 'pew pew'! I love these babies!"
"Yeah, but mine are still better." Yang teasingly remarked.
"At least mine don't waste buckshots."
"Hey!"
"And lastly." Ruby smiled before walking to Yang, forced the blonde's hand on her corset, and caused several bolts of yellow and blue electricity to form from the sides, shocking Yang greatly. "And this is my Chastity Corset, filled with several electricity Dust and assorted Dust, I can shock people like a taser, but ten times the volts!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!" Yang screamed as her hair puffed up and formed large electrical strands on the sides. "RUBY!"
"What? You were the perfect test subject." Ruby teased while winking at her sister, moving her hips to the side in a bad attempt at flirting.
"Alright, you asked for this." Yang narrowed her eyes before yanking Ruby over her lap, before pulling Ruby's pants down, then brought her open palm down to her rear.
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
"AH! YANG! AH! STOP!"
Weiss deadpanned while looking at Blake.
"It happens a lot. Especially when she tries to mimic my mom's...body poses." Blake said with a light blush.
"Meaning?"
"My mother is voluptuous. Ruby isn't." she said while pointing to her chest.
Weiss blushed and shook her head while Ruby tried to get off Yang's lap.
WOOSH!
Which worked as she disappeared into a shower of rose petals.
"FREEDOM!" she grinned while appearing next to Weiss.
"Do that again Ruby and I'll give you something else to go with that corset, and I'll make sure it's locked up tight!"
Ruby stuck her tongue out as Weiss sighed.
'This is going to be a deadly combination...well at least I'm team leader.' she thought with a smirk before Ruby smiled.
"Say Weiss. When are you and Blake going to kiss?" she asked with a grin, making Blake facepalm.
"Excuse me?!"
"Ignore her." Blake sighed. "She's trying to be like mother."
"Oh come on! I think you two are cute as a couple." Ruby huffed. "I mean a Schnee and a Belladonna, think of the peace treaties and good blood between humans and faunus if you two date!"
"I'm not going to date her! I hardly know her, you dork!" Weiss yelled in shock.
"But isn't that how all couples start out? Not knowing each other?" She asked innocently as Yang chuckled at her sister's idea of how couples should work.
"That's after they kiss Ruby!"
"Really!? Ah shoot...Blake, kiss-"
"No." Blake interrupted while turning the page in her book. "I'm not doing that, besides, I'm not in the market right now and you always try to ship others."
"Ship?" Weiss asked in confusion.
"Set people up with others, my mother does it all the time, and Ruby copied her to a T."
"You wouldn't believe how long she kept trying to set me and Blake up." Yang said with a chuckle. "And while I like the idea of bees and pussy, we aren't like that. I mean she's too well, Blakey for me."
"But you two would've been so cute!" Ruby pouted. "And think of the bad kitty puns!"
"Hey! My puns rule!"
"They stink!"
"No they don't!"
Weiss groaned and pushed a pillow on her head, her sanity fading with every passing second. 'Why me!?'
(Some time later)
"Hey." Ruby said to the Invincible Huntress, Pyrrha, as she, her team and Team JNPR, were walking down the hall towards the cafeteria. "Can you and Jaune kiss already? I'm really getting bored of the silent longing stuff you do with him." 'And everyone else.'
Pyrrha turned bright red as Jaune turned around to face Ruby with a heavy blush. "W-What!?"
"Yeah, you two like each other right? So why not kiss already?" she said innocently as Yang chuckled at her sister's antics, not seeing Weiss and Blake's annoyed faces.
"When is she going to stoooop?" Weiss groaned out.
"Never." Blake whispered as Nora, having wanted her team leader to get with Pyrrha for a long while now, decided to 'help' Ruby by holding the two huntsman's hands.
"So Ruby, you say that Jaune and Pyrrha are kissy kissy? Right?"
"Yep." Ruby said before seeing Nora pushing Jaune and Pyrrha's backs and-
CHU~!
KATHUNK!
Caused them to kiss each other on the lips before getting knocked out by their own foreheads, making Nora and Ruby groan.
"Not fair!" Both cried out as Blake pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration and Weiss looked ready to pull on the girl's ear.
'Every time.'
(A bit later)
Ruby stared at Ren, carefully looking at him despite being in Glynda's class, as she then stared at Velvet and then back at Ren. "Mmmmm."
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah. You can." she smiled before pointing at Velvet. "Are you interested in faunus?"
"No, and Velvet isn't a fan of Mistraili, at all." he said calmly as Ruby groaned.
"Damn it." she muttered before pointing to Yang. "What about Yang? Isn't she the type of girl for you?"
"Ruby, no playing matchmaker."
"Why not?" she huffed.
"Because I'm not on the market."
"Not even when I can get you into Blake's skirt?" she asked while the cat faunus threw a book at her. "YEOW!"
"Now that is a different story." Ren said before adding. "But I don't think she's too keen on the idea."
"Mmmm. Oh!" she grinned while pointing to Weiss. "What about her? She's on the market and hot."
"No." he deadpanned while not seeing Nora giving Ruby a deadly glare of hate and possessiveness. "And I think you should stop while you're ahead."
Ruby, still wanting to see one of her ships set sail before her, pointed to Pyrrha, not seeing that Glynda was noticing her behavior. "What about Pyrrha? She's just your-"
"Miss Rose."
'Oh no.' she thought while stiffening in her seat.
"Since you're so busy intermingling with the students, perhaps you would enjoy the first spar of the day, alone." she said in a very stern tone.
'This can't get any worse.'
"Lie Ren, you will be her opponent."
'Oh fudge!' Ruby thought as Nora grinned sadistically at her karma.
"Show no mercy Ren!"
(Later)
"Ow." Ruby groaned while currently healing from a black eye to the face, courtesy of Cardin after she suggested a ship between him and Jaune, as she, Blake and Weiss were in their room putting ice over the left eye. "That smarts."
"You dolt." Weiss grumbled. "Telling a barbarian about his love life is a dumb mistake on your part."
"But the ship was a good one. Ow."
"With Cardin? Not really." Blake frowned. "It was a poor one."
Ruby huffed while pulling out a notebook from her right sleeve and began scratching out some names, via a pen, from within the book, which Weiss saw was titled 'Male x Male Ships'. "Welp, next time I'll try Ren and Jaune-"
"What is that!?"
"Oh, my male ship notebook. It has all my ships with the guys." she said while Weiss turned bright pink. "I have one for girls too. And different sexes. Oh and some on Grimm too."
"WHY would that last one even be an option?!"
"...for kinks?" she said sheepishly as Blake coughed, getting the Schnee's attention.
"Wait, YOU gave her that line of thinking!?"
"...Ninjas in Love is a good series but...it has a lot of..." she coughed. "Grimm on human or faunus smut." 'I can't believe I just admitted that!'
"Shameless! Filth!" Weiss yelled while Ruby chuckled a little.
'That's how I felt when I read it.' She thought while hissing in pain from her injury, the two opposing forces of Schnee and Belladonna still discussing the ethics of Grimm and sentient humanoid love making with a passion. "But I got into it surprisingly."
"Still! As team leader, I order you two to stop thinking about Grimm sexual kinks!"
"No. This is a free society." Blake deadpanned.
"Not when we are huntresses, trying to KILL Grimm!"
"It's fictional."
"Still!" she yelled as Yang walked into the room, holding some ice cream in her hands. "Grimm sex is disgusting!"
SPLAT!
"Wait..." Yang muttered in shock while looking rather disgusted. "Who was the dumb one here that...mentioned SEX to Ruby!?"
"I know what sex is Yang!"
"Still! Grimm sex!? What were you two thinking!?" Yang yelled while pointing at the white and black haired girls in anger. "Ruby is an innocent girl! She's not supposed to even KNOW about sex, much less...fucking a GRIMM!"
"Yang! I'm old enough to understand that! I was trained to be an assassin for crying out loud! And you're not one to talk with how you dress."
"At least I tease the boys, I don't outright fuck them!"
"Tell that to the boys at Signal!"
"They dumped me before that!"
"You nearly killed them with hugs!"
Blake facepalmed as she took Weiss and dragged her out of the room. "Let's head to the library, it's quieter there."
"You read my mind." she said while leaving the two bickering sisters to their pointless argument.
(Later on)
Weiss grumbled as she was currently sitting next to Blake in the cafeteria, waiting for Yang and Ruby to appear for lunch, as the faunus was currently reading a book and trying to maintain the air of silence that was permeating the table.
However, Weiss was feeling….nervous, especially when Ruby might pop up at any time trying to scare her, ship her with everyone in Beacon, or both. And frankly, she was about to leave the school and head back to Atlas, especially when it was much more...sane compared to her teammate's insanity.
"You know too much worry can give you early crows feet." Blake said while looking at Weiss from her book. "Or worse, wrinkles."
"I can't help it, Ruby is driving me nuts."
"You will get used to it." the faunus said while Weiss moved the book downwards to reveal her dark circles. "What?"
"How do you do it? How do you stay sane with her?"
"..."
"There must be some secret trick to it." she said while trying not to beg, at all. "Some secret that would prevent early insanity."
"...Weiss." Blake said calmly. "Dealing with people is a fact of life. Even if they drive you nuts, it is still better than being isolated and alone. I might not be the best when it comes to wanting to be alone, but being with Ruby makes other's lives feel...fuller."
"Fuller?"
"Yes, she makes people feel better about themselves, like that can escape the thickest blackness of the abyss." She said while Weiss looked a little confused. "It's her nature, and without her, I would be a completely different person. I wouldn't be tolerant of you, I would be closed off from the team much earlier, and I would be spending my time running from you guys instead of talking to you."
"Says the girl who looks like she hasn't slept in weeks."
"Perhaps." she said while rubbing her own dark circles with her left hand. "But if Ruby, the assassin with a heart, didn't appear in Menagerie with mother, then my fate would have been...much darker. A bloody revolution."
Weiss raised an eyebrow at this before Blake sighed.
"And yes Weiss, it was the ex-boyfriend Ruby mentioned when we first met. He wasn't the nicest person." she said before returning to her book. "But that is the past. Right now I want to be in the present, with my team and my dolt of a team leader."
"Hey! I'm no dolt!"
"It's a term of affection." she said before noticing Weiss' blushing face. "Wait, are you starting to see me as a girlfriend? Oh no, Ruby you little-"
"What no!" she yelled while not seeing Ruby right behind her. "I wasn't thinking about being your girlfriend!"
"Wait? Really?" Ruby said while Weiss screamed and jumped into Blake's lap. "But I love the chemistry between you two. You're my OTP ship."
"Ruby! Don't sneak up on me!"
"I didn't. I just walked over." she deadpanned while taking out her Scroll and took a picture of the two teammates. "And now I have some ship material to share with Yang. Oh she's not going to believe the fact my ship actually sailed. Oh I must send it now!"
"D-Don't you-"
"And sent." Ruby smiled before looking at her scroll, and chuckled sheepishly as Weiss and Blake looked a little mad. "He he...oops. I accidentally sent it to Doctor Oobleck's group chat. Um….what were you going to say Weiss?"
"How many?" Blake said while Weiss trembled in anger.
"Um...the entire first and second years. Why?"
"Nooooo!" Weiss cried out in horror as Ruby, sensing the danger to her life due to her training, carefully moved backwards, only for the Schnee to glare at her like a hawk. "You!"
"...um...good blessings for the couple?" she chuckled as Blake exhaled heavily and got up.
"Weiss."
"What?"
"I will assist you in punishing Ruby." she said while Weiss smirked evilly. "I get the arms, you get the butt."
'Oh fudge!' Ruby thought while quickly running away via semblance.
"Get back here!" Weiss yelled while running after her, only for Blake to grab her by the waist and run in her stead. "Hey!"
"I'm faster, now quit screaming and follow the trail." she said while following the trail of rose petals on the ground.
Weiss nodded while looking at the trail, her mind full of vengeance.
(A bit later)
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
Pyrrha blinked as she saw Ruby, held in place by Blake on the left knee, as Weiss was smacking her ass with the butt of Blake's weapon, her face filled with pure anger and sadism.
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
"OWIE!"
"This is what you get when you go too far with matchmaking."
"OWIE! I'm sorry Weiss! Stop spanking me!"
"No! Not until I give you a million spanks, for all the times you tried matching me with random people!" she yelled while smacking harder on the ass, not noticing that Pyrrha was watching her be extremely violent.
"OWIE! Blake, help me!"
"Not this time, you deserve this one."
SMACK!
"OWIE!" she cried out as Pyrrha felt like she should leave, not seeing Nora walking up to Pyrrha with her hammer in her hands.
"Wanna lend them a hand?"
"Um...I don't know." Pyrrha said while a little spooked at Nora's arrival. "Her matchmaking isn't...bad."
"Well I'm itching to give her a spanking. Ren is mine, not anyone one elses, ESPECIALLY with Jaune. Not saying it isn't hot but oh boy, I'm not one to share him with anyone." she said while running towards Ruby's ass, moving her hammer upwards in the process. "NORA SMASH!"
BAM!
"AYIII! MY BUTT!" Ruby screamed in pain as Pyrrha squinted her eyes from the loud cracking sound the hammer made on Ruby's tailbone.
'Ooooh!' She thought in sympathy as Yang ran over, hearing the screaming from several halls down, and entered a rage seeing her team and Nora above a screaming Ruby's body. 'That one I could feel.'
"WHO HURT MY SISTER!?"
Weiss and Blake paled as they saw Yang's eyes turn red and hair turn into flames. 'Oh shit.'
"Me." Nora said with a smile. "And don't worry, she'll live."
"My butt...the pain..." Ruby cried in pain as Yang ran towards Nora with pure anger in her eyes.
"DIE!"
KAPOW!
And sent her flying straight through the wall.
As the battle between the pissed off brawler and the energetic nightmare, Pyrrha slowly walked away and decided to let this insanity settle down on her own.
'Best not to let Team WRYB's madness get to me. Even if Ruby is in need of a doctor.' she thought while large explosions rang through the hallways behind her.
BOOM!
"I'M GOING TO CRUSH YOUR NECK!"
"Come and try goldytits!"
BOOOM!
KABOOM!
'This semester is going to kill us all...I just know it.' she thought as the screen went black.